The shadow of a girl flittered across the wall to meet a companion. "Have you heard? Have you heard? Sugar. Spice. and everything nice." There was no response. After a few seconds, she cleared her throat and repeated with a much more annoyed tone. "Have you heard? Have you heard? Sugar. Spice. and everything nice." Still there was no response. "Hey, that's your cue!" she said in a loud whisper to her companion. "Huh? Whazzat...? Hic!" came the reply. "What the-?! Were you out drinking AGAIN?!" "Hic!" "Oh my. Surely nothing good could come of that!" "You better believe it," a third shadow, nodded as he joining them on the wall. "I warned you not to let this happen again. You're fired!" "Fired?" the girl repeated as the third shadow vanished. "But-! But-!" "Wha happen? Hic?" her companion slurred. With an angry growl, the shadowy girl produced a shadowy mallet from out of nowhere. "This is all your fault!" Thus... well, you can probably guess what happened next. * Revolutionary Powerpuff Girl Utena Created by: Scott Schimmel Episode 6 (despite the fact that there was no episode 4): The not-quite end yet. Written by: Brett Schimmel * Have you ever wondered why hotdogs come in packs of eight and hotdog buns come in packs of ten? Is it just a bizarre coincidence? Or is it because the industry is trying to squeeze as much money from the populace as possible? The answer is neither. It's really a government conspiracy! Think about it: Eight and ten. What do you get when you add those together? Eighteen! Which is precisely the approximate number of hours most people are (or should be) awake (despite what statistics show or what officials say [besides, you can't trust the officials anyway. Conspiracy, remember?]). Anyway, The Powerpuff girls (and Miki) flew through the sky, leaving a trail of light corresponding to the color of their hair (of all things) behind, heading for the Academy of Ohtori for a much needed rest. They had been called in late last night to deal with the Rowdyruff Boys (and one girl), a new threat with powers rivaling their own, created by MuuChuChuChu, their old villain (introduced in the first chapter). "Well, glad we got out of that one," Anthy spoke as they flew. "Yes, that was probably our hardest, yet easily most exciting, battle ever," Miki agreed. "It's in the past," Utena said. "We should worry more about the new problem that just came up." "That's right!" Anthy agreed. "Say, what problem is that, anyway?" "Um... We haven't been told yet," Miki sweatdropped. "That's why we're flying to Mr. President's office," Utena reminded her as the trio landed in the Academy of Ohtori's courtyard. "Oh yeah! That's right!" "Anyway, do we really have to do the elevator thing again?" Miki asked. "Why don't we just fly up?" "Because it wouldn't be proper." "What do you mean? We flew up last time," he pointed out, and was conveniently ignored as Utena stepped into the elevator. "See you when we get to the third floor, Miki," Anthy grinned cheerfully as she flew towards the elevator doors on the second floor. * "If the chick cannot break free of its shell, it will die," the sole occupant of the elevator, the silhouette of a superdeformed young pink-haired girl, intoned somberly. Odd was it that one could tell she had pink hair when it was just a silhouette, but that's how these things go. "We are the chick... Right? Did I get it right this time?" The silhouette of a superdeformed young purple- haired asked the author. Fortunately, it had been so long since the author had seen Revolutionary Girl Utena that he just assumed it was so. "Yay! I got my line right this time!" They waited for the third occupant to say his line. Only there was no third occupant. "Hey, where's Miki?" "Hmm..." Anthy quickly ran through the possibilities in her head, quickly arriving at the most plausible conclusion. "Ne, you don't supposed he was kidnapped by aliens and is fighting them off as we speak, do you?" "Nah. The elevator probably just missed his floor again." Utena shrugged. "Anyway, I'll say his lines. Otherwise, this thing will never stop." "Okay." Utena cleared her throat. "The world is our shell!" she said dramatically in her best Miki-impression (which, frankly, left much to be desired). "Um... I forgot my line again," Anthy said after a while. "You know, I'm not sure there even is a line here." she turned to the fourth wall in confusion. "Hey, are we supposed to say something?" As before mentioned, it'd had been some time since the author saw the anime, and therefore, not knowing the answer to the question, he assumed there was none. "Um... Okay," Utena nodded, turning from the fourth wall back to her companion. "We must smash the world's shell!" "Are you sure that's really such a good idea? I mean, if you think about it..." "Anthyyy!" she muttered through her teeth. "Oops! Sorry." "FOR THE REVOLUTION OF THE WORLD!" the duo chanted in unison as the elevator conveniently came to a halt. * "Girls, thank you for coming," Juri said as they arrived, not bothering to look up from the Important Documents she was busy signing. "Mr. President has been waiting." Mr. President, for his part, sat in his chair in a state of boredom, idly yo-yoing (er... using a yo-yo... You get the idea). "Hello, girls. What can I do for you?" Utena blinked. "Didn't you send for us, Mr. President?" Mr. President face became serious as he cast a glance at Juri. "Did I send for the Powerpuff Girls?" "I believe so, sir." "Oh. I see," he turned back to the girls, staring intently across folded hands at them. "..." "Um..." Utena ventured after several seconds. "..." "Mr. President?" Suddenly, without warning, his eyes became merry upwards arrows as his mouth fashioned itself into a grin. Sorta like '^_^' only happier. "Sorry, I forgot why I called you here!" The floor shook from the force of the facefaults Utena and Anthy made. * This sentence has absolutely no relevance to the story whatsoever, unless the next author finds a use for it. * The elevator doors opened, and a slowly a figure staggered out, panting, clutching his side, and dragging a foot. In other words, he was injured. "Miki!" Anthy cupped her hands to her mouth. "What happened?" Utena asked. "Don't tell me: you were kidnapped by aliens and barely managed to escape, right?" the purple-haired girl guessed. "No..." he gasped. "I... had a... fight... with the elevator." "Oh." Anthy sounded disappointed. "Who won?" "That's it!" Mr. President interrupted Utena, hitting his palm with his fist, yet showing no visible signs of pain for having done such. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about!" "The elevator?" "No, no. Aliens!" He gestured towards a video screen that they failed to notice before. "Um... perhaps you should turn it on?" Miki suggested. "Oh, right! That might help." He pushed a button, and the screen flared to life. The trio watched the screen intently. "How cute!" Anthy smiled as on the screen, a mother bird dropped a worm to her hungry chicks. "A nature show?" "Oops. Wrong station," he rapidly scanned the channels before the realization struck him. "Oh yeah, it was a letter." "Is it just me, or is the plot taking a long time to progress?" Utena asked no one in particular. "There's a plot?" Miki blinked. "Here it is!" Mr. president shouted, triumphantly holding the slip of paper up. He cleared his throat, and began singing in an off-key voice: Dear humans, We are sending our Strongest Fi-i-ighter To take over your pla-a-anet! You cannot st-o-op us! We are invincible! Surrender no-o-ow! Not that it will matter because we don't intend to spare even a single one of your worthless miserable li-i- ives! Ha! Ha! Ha-a-a-a! (note: sung to the tune of an imaginary song) Anthy clapped happily. "A singing telegram! I love those." "Wasn't there a video screen here a few minutes ago?" Miki wondered. Since it was so off topic, nobody paid him any attention. "But where do we find this warrior?" "Don't worry," Mr. President answered the pink- haired girl. "I assure you, I've already written them back for a date and time of the attack." "How long do you think it'll take them to respond?" "Well, it's hard to say. They're a very busy race, so they might not get to the letter for a while." "Really?" Miki asked, skeptical. "Well, that and I send the letter by twenty-third class." The Powerpuff Guy facepalmed. "I knew it." "There may be another way!" The trio turned, finding themselves face to face with the Scientist, one of their most valuable allies: the guy who creates stuff when an easy way out of the plot is needed, who funnily enough wasn't ever mentioned before and probably never will again, despite being such a vital character. "Scientist!" Anthy smiled happily. "You survived?" The Scientist ignored Miki's comment as he unfolded a blueprint in front of them, displaying a device that can only be described as... indescribable. "Using this New Scientific Alien Finding Device, I'll be able to locate the monster in no time!" "But these are just blueprints..." Utena began. The Scientist grinned, pulling the indescribable object from behind his back. "Don't worry! I finished building the prototype fifteen minutes ago just in case something like this happened." Anthy clapped her hands together. "How lucky!" "Isn't it, though?" The Scientist pushed a button on NSAFD, which promptly began emitting an indescribable sound, and detected the alien in an indescribable manner. The Scientist examined the results carefully. "Your enemy will be... behind the school!" "Let's go!" Utena shouted heroically. The others nodded, and they took off, multi-colored light trailing behind. "We're counting on you, girls!" Mr. President said because it was his last chance to have a speaking part, because he didn't want people to forget that he was here, and most importantly because the more he talked, the more he got paid (hey, why did you think he wouldn't let Juri say anything for him?). * "Whew! That was a long trip!" The large green man with bug-eyes said aloud, leaning back in the chair in the cockpit of his spaceship. "I think I'll take a nap." "Don't forget why you're there, Og," the voice in the communicator said, making things easier by giving the alien a name. "First destroy the planet." "Oh, fine." Og yawned, climbing out of the cockpit (after opening it first, of course). "'Destroy this planet, Og.' 'Terrorize these people, Og.' Can't I ever get a break?" * "That must be him!" Utena declared, pointing at the large green man with bug-eyes who had just climbed from a spaceship. And while this left some good opportunities for a humorous misunderstanding, the author was too lazy to come up with anything, and so she was correct in her assumption. Noticing the girls (and boy) as they landed a few feet away, Og quickly retrieved his human-alien (yep, all aliens speak the same language) dictionary from his back pocket. He gave them a friendly smile, being sure to show off his shiny white fangs, and read the polite greeting: "Hello. I'm very pleased to meet you. It is unfortunate that my people have decided to eradicate your people, but I hope you'll be good sports about it, and maybe we can be friends." However, it came out more like. "Me kill! You die! Grhaaaaa!" "Utena, I'll handle this," Miki bravely volunteered. She blinked in response. "By yourself?" "But that's dangerous!" Anthy said. "I never told you this, but I've been studying 34 martial arts styles since I was young, and I think I know precisely what move to use in this situation." "If you're sure about this..." Utena looked skeptical. "Basing it all on one move." "Don't worry; it's a good one. I'll have this finished in..." he pushed the button on his new digital stopwatch. "2.83375« seconds." "Alright," she nodded. "Good luck, Miki!" Anthy cheered. "Villain! I shall never allow you to harm a single person on our planet!" He heroically overacted, dramatically pointing at the now determinedly evil alien. Og blinked. "Buh?" "Prepare yourself!" He shouted, charging forward and leaping into the air. "SHINGO KIIIIIIIIICK!" Utena's jaw dropped to the ground with a thud, and Anthy's eyes became little dots as Miki soared through the air. "He's studied 34 different martial arts styles," the purple-haired girl stated. "And of all the moves to use he chose THAT one?!?" The pink-haired one added in disbelief. Meanwhile, Og caught Miki's foot and, whirling him (Miki) around his (Og's) head, tossed him to the ground beneath the others' feet. "It... failed?" Miki gasped in bewilderment. "We're going to need to have a long talk about your martial arts abilities after this," Utena promised him. "Meanwhile, let's deal with this threat." They spread out around the alien, who grinned as he anticipated battle. Unfortunately, he was eradicated by eye-beams from the air before he knew what hit him. "Who...?" the Powerpuff Girls (and Miki) turned in confusion to face the source of the lasers. Their eyes widened in surprise, even though most people could probably have guessed who shot them. Just in case you didn't figure it out, Utena shouted the obvious: "The Rowdyruff boys!" "That's right!" Mikage glared, arms folded. "It's us!" "We've come for revenge!" Mamiya explained. "And I'm a girl!" Kozue added. "If you want revenge, fine, then fight us," Utena yelled. "But leave the people of the Academy of Ohtori out of it!" "Ohtori?" Kozue snickered. "Bah. We didn't come for them." "So your after us, eh?" Miki surmised. "Nope." "Eh?" Anthy blinked. "Then what are you getting revenge for?" "We're here to get revenge on the author of this part for cutting out all of our scenes!" They shouted at the fourth wall in unison. * It was at this point that the author quickly decided that the most prudent course of action would be to stop right here. * * * Author's notes: Gotta go. Bye!