Mighty Angstin' GF Rangers Episode Five: Crazy Crazy Team! Wow, Edea looks hot in that dress! By Steven Hykes ***** The 6 SeeDs in their Zords approached the abandoned warehouse district (?) to see Seifer in his SephiZord destroying various buildings by stepping on them, as if they were made of cheap cardboard. 'Finally a rematch, and I assure you this time I will win, Chicken-wuss!' Seifer boomed to the SeeDs as he brandished his Mechasune. (Let's get this over with before my team falls apart.) Squall slightly annoyed but a bit more vengeful brooded. 'Oh, Seifer! Can I be on your team?' Rinoa sighed over the comm in sparkly-vision(tm) (Oh great she's got to focus on the fight!) Squall took out a disk and put it in the BahamutZord's Mp3 player. The techno remix of "Eyes on Me" started playing. "Form legs and shoes!" The QuetZord and the ShivaZord flew into the air, twisting and changing shape until they had formed a perfect pair of khakis with black wingtips. "Form arms and body!" The DiabloZord and the SirenZord flew together and merged, combining to form a paunchy, white-shirted torso with matching arms. "Form ugly necktie!" 'Oh no, not again!' Zell attempted to complain when Quistis cracked her whip. Zell jumped in his seat and Doinked his head off the low ceiling. The TonberryZord flew to meet the body, becoming the necktie. '...Whatever,' Squall added finally, the BahamutZord doing a complicated aerial twirl before twisting its shape into a giant head and attaching to the top of the in-progress super-mecha. "KramerZord complete!" all six SeeDs chorused, the sun glinting off the fifty-foot armored frame of a mechanical Cid Kramer. FORM BLAZING GUNBLADE!" The KramerZord created its signature weapon, and gave a dramatic pose. 'GO BALAMB RANGERS!' the SeeDs yelled. All six were now in the same room. 'Selphie, you want to find out why they call this a cockpit?' Irving grinned. 'COOL! Time to kick a$$ and cause mayhem!' Selphie was totally battle focused now. 'Slave, time to take your punishment for complaining.' Quistis spoke coolly as she approached Zell. (Great, now what?) Squall sighed and covered his head with his hand. 'Squall can I be your slave?' Rinoa cooed in his ear. (Only if we can get out of this fight alive... wait a minute, didn't we cover this already?) '...whatever. Prepare to attack!' The KramerZord and the SephiZord walked to each other and traded sword blows. In classic 110% speed it looked almost like a mecha swordfight and not 2 people in padded costumes going at it on a fake set. After about thirty seconds of this, Seifer got a good blow in and caused yellow smoke and sparks to erupt on the KramerZord's body as it staggered backwards. 'It's no good, we're done for!' Selphie yelped as a whip crack was heard behind her. The clouds of dust suddenly cleared, and revealed the Mega CactaurZord, standing grandiosely in the sunlight. The Green SeeD pummeled Seifer with his needle attack, causing similar sparks on his Zord. 'Need a hand, boys?' The Green SeeD spoke over the comm. (He sounds like trouble.) Irving took the comm 'Sure thing, but who are you?' 'Call me Laguna, kids!' 'LAGUNA! I've read all your articles in Timber Maniacs!' Selphie gave a whoop of girlish delight as she grabbed the comm from Irving. 'Can I get your autograph?' 'Oooohh! He even SOUNDS tall!' Rinoa beamed, temporarily forgetting to be very^30 scared. (Yep he is.) '...whatever. Let's get this over and done with alright?' Squall switched to Very Annoyed and Impatient Brooding for emphasis. *CRACK* 'Yes, Mistress. Anything Mistress, just make the hurting stop!!!' Zell yelled. ***** Edea Repulsa watched the PPV fight from her big view screen in her still undefined HQ. She slammed her fist on the cushioned armrest of her throne as the two on one fight progressed. 'That worthless knight of mine can't do anything right! Why did I send him out again?' Raijin slowly approached the throne. Edea leaned to her left and right in her throne. 'Raijin, you're blocking my view! And shouldn't you be working on my ship?' Edea Repulsa glared. 'Well, funny you should mention it, ya know? Like you asked me last episode to get it done, ya know? And wouldn't you know it, it's done, ya know?' Edea fixed him with a cool stare. 'Perfect, it's time to suit up!' She got up from her throne and glided into the darkness beyond. The sound of loud engines starting was heard and over the din Edea Repulsa could still be heard. "Those SeeDs don't stand a chance against this! HAHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!" Edea Repulsa cackled evilly. As a large shadow zoomed over his head, Raijin only cowered in a corner and wondered when Seifer would be back to give him a hug. ***** As the two Zords closed on Seifer in his Zord, all three of them fell over as a loud boom echoed around them and sparks flew around them all. As they regained their footing, a ship closed on them and began twisting and popping as it turned into yet another Mecha. (What is that? And who's the pilot?) Squall thought. Laguna's voice came over the comm. 'That the ship we sent to make sure that the last sorceress wouldn't come back. But it's been altered into a Zord?' 'That Zord is tapping into our comm!' Rinoa said in a worried tone. The comm from one GardenZord to the other was replaced by an image of Edea Repulsa. 'SeeDs! You make have bested my knight twice, but the both of us will destroy all of you! This is the RagnarokZord and it will be your doom!' Seifer in his SephiZord took his place beside Edea's Zord. Both went to battle stances when Edea Repulsa gave one last gloat over the comm. 'All your garden are belong to us! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!' All 7 SeeDs deadpanned for about 2 seconds then all of them resumed. (What is she talking about???) Squall wondered in his brooding. 'CALL ME MISTRESS, SLAVE!!!' *CRACK* Zell screams in pain. 'Squall! I'm so very very very very very very very very very very... 'Let's get it on Selphie!' said Irvine as he gave a lecherous grin. ... very very very very very very very... 'Bombs, lots of BOMBS! Set us up, er, set up the BOMBS! Carnage, destruction and lots of blood!' Selphie was completely enraptured by her bloodlust. ... very very very very very very very scared!' Rinoa had yet again applied the arm-clutch(tm) maneuver to Squall. ...Whatever. (This doesn't look good for us, and where's that crowbar?) Laguna looked at his view screen at the other 6 SeeDs and the SephiZord and the RagnarokZord. His only thought on the matter was (Wow, Edea looks hot in that dress!) ***** What will happen next? Will the SeeDs triumph over Edea Repulsa and Seifer? Or will they all die in the next episode? [We can only hope] Tune in next week to find out!! ***** [Quistis walks onto the screen, while Important Music plays in the background. She is holding a very long chain that trails off camera.] 'Hi Kids. Quistis the Pink SeeD here. I'm here to tell you to follow your dreams, and don't let anyone get in your way. I wanted to be a SeeD instructor so I went for it, even though I was younger than the others. I had other dreams to go for...' [Zell gives a muffled cry off camera.] '...and now I'm a dominatrix!!' [She smiles with just a hint of malice.] 'Reach for you dreams and go for them always!!! OHOHOHOHOHO!!!' [Quistis cracks her whip and bounds off screen in Kodachi fashion. Zell flies across camera as the chain goes taunt.] 'I want my Mommy!' Zell yells as the gag falls off and drifts to the ground. THESE HAVE BEEN WORDS OF WISDOM FOR ALL THE LITTLE ANGSTERS WATCHING. ***** Author's Note: And I thought a Chibi would be EASY to write!!! Now if only I can keep these blasted exclamation marks under control...