"YOOOSHH! Time to find my next contact!  Misson Eliminate Bad 
Guys begin!", Excel shouted as she enthusiastically pumped bullet 
after bullet into Hyatt's torso. Hyatt's pale flesh was shredded to 
pieces as the bullets tore through her. Blood sprayed all over the 
room, coating the walls and furniture with Hyatt's life fluids and 
gore. Finally, the hail of metal ended, as Hyatt stood, riddled with 
many mortal wounds. She coughed. Blood forced its way out of her 
lungs, and dribbled down the side of her mouth. Finally, Hyatt fell 
to the ground, dead.

	"Oopsie!" Excel exclaimed, as she sweatdropped and put her 
hand behind her head in the Anime Pose of Embarassment #53. "Ano... 
Iz-chan?"

	"Hai, Hai."

And so the universe was reset.


				*LOADING*

DEUS EXCEL
by Demented "Demota" Otaku
Starter by Lawrence Chu
Loosely based on situations by Warren Spector/ION Storm/EIDOS 
Interactive
Characters are property of Koshi Rikudo.
All rights reserved. Please don't sue. Seriously. I've already sold 
all my kids! I'm broke!

Episode 4: In Space, where nobody can hear you scream, and shout, and
dance...

				*LOADING*

	"Thanks, Iz-chan!" Excel shouted to the miniature swirl of 
stars and planets with arms that composed the Great Grand Will of the 
Universe, more affectionately known as Iz-chan. "Now... LET'S GO!"
Excel shouted, thrusting her arms into the air, with much bouncing
of the feet. She twirled, arms blurring in the air as the 
caffeine-induced levels of ultra-hyperness assisted her in reaching 
speeds of close to Warp 8. Finally, Excel THRUST her fist into the 
air, and POWERPOSED.


Meanwhile, in the vastness of space...

				*LOADING*

	A large spacecraft loomed ominously, in the black field of
white stars. Although it was shaped similarly to a block of cheese
cut at a weird angle, this ship was much more dangerous than a simple
block of cheese. No, this ship was even more threatening than a 
thousand blocks of cheese. In fact, if the force of all the 
blocks of cheese in the world was added to that of all the slices 
of cheese and all the cheese wheels, as well as cream cheese, the 
cheese on the many cheeseburgers consumed at McDonalds, cans of spray
cheese, and those little packets of cheese spread you sometimes get
at those fancy restaurants for food priced fifty times what they're 
worth, it wouldn't even make a dent in the side of this ship.

	And inside, the insidous would-be invaders of the Earth 
plotted. Small of stature, but gargantuan in their evil ways, the 
yellow creatures lurked. Black, soulless eyes revealed nothing of the
malicious plans they held for the azure ball they were currently 
orbiting, known as Earth. The commander raised his head from his 
plans, and uttered a single word.

	"Puuchuu!" he stated to the Puuchuu Invasion Committee, as 
his eyes sparkled in that cute, yet non-seizure-inducing way.

[For your convenience, subtitles will be provided from this point  ]
[on, while preserving the original voices in the Puuchuu languange.]
[If you wish to switch to the dubbed track, please return to the   ]
[main menu. Thank you for listening. We now return you to Deus 	   ]
[Excel, Chapter 4.						   ]

	"Puuchuu! Puuchuu puuchuu Puuchuu! Puuchuu puuchuu!" 
[By infiltrating this group of Earthlings known as "UNATCO", we 
not only gain access to a vast database of knowledge about them, but
we may also, with luck, be able to take over the organization 
completely.]

	"Puuchuu puuchuu, puuchuu puuchuu." [Well thought out,
comrade! But how shall we approach this matter?]

	"Puuchuu, puuchuu puuchuu. Puuchuu, puuchuu puuchuu puuchuu,
puuchuu!" [To this species, we appear incredibly... cute, for lack
of a better term. They find our presence... desirable. Already, we 
have agents in the houses of major governments, discovering all kinds 
of secrets. The mere sight of us reduces them to a fawning drone,
unable to do anything but exclaim how cute we are and wrap their
arms around us, and perform similar deeds.]

	"Puuchuu! Puuchuu! Puuchuu puuuchuu puuchuu puuchuu! 
Puuchuu puuchuu! Puuchuu, Puuchuu Puuchuu!" [Amazing! These 
Earthlings may very well beat the record for the fastest subjugation 
of a planet. Have we found a suitable target for UNATCO infiltration?]

	"Puuchuu. Puuchuu Puuchuu Puuchuu." [Of course. This girl,
known as "Excel." Her actions thus far have shown that she is the most
likely to fall for this tactic. After her current mission, she is 
likely to take our agents into UNATCO headquarters, keeping us as 
"pets".]

	The Puuchuu Commander smiled, raising a rod with a heart on 
top. The group let out a resonant "PUUCHUU!", then walked in a circle
around the table, in what would appear to any five year old as an 
innocent dance.

	"PUUCHUU!"

				*LOADING*

Episode 4: In Space, where nobody can hear you scream, and shout, and
dance...

TODAY'S EXPERIMENT........FAILED.

Author's Notes:

	Yeah... like Lawrence said, I was the one who came up with the
horrible, horrible pun. ^_^; Anyway, this was fun to write. Nice to
actually get a part turned IN for once. Thanks to Sharyna and Lirazel
for their commentary. 

Demota out. 

	- Demota, who is really really tired.