FAQing Hostile: Subcultural Mutant Otaku Versus the Mundanes Originally from the spawning pools, er, mind of Twoflower Chapter 12 written by Mark "still looking for cool sounding name" Poa ********** Toby skidded and turned at the corner. "Damn! Stupid time to call another meeting. The others are lucky their offices are near the Lord's room," he grumbled. He was thankful for the new shorter robes they were issued a few weeks back. He had heard nasty stories about the last superior who had his office who reportedly tripped on a regular basis rushing to the emergency meetings. Toby rounded another corner... And collided with a hooded figure rounding the corner in the opposite direction. "Ooof!" both of them said. As they got up, the hooded figure bowed his head low and mumbled his apologies before rushing off. "Do I know you?" Toby called after the fleeing figure, who ignored him anyway. "Must be a delivery boy in a hurry or something. Anyway, I must hurry, too." He rushed towards the Main Hall. If Toby weren't in such a hurry, he might have noticed the door from which the figure came from. A sign that said "Special Supplies Room: ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, AND I MEAN YOU, YOU, AND YOU, MAY ENTER!" was nailed to it. It probably wasn't important anyway. ********** Evan looked around him. He had left the ATV a few kilometers behind and was now trudging through the desert carrying an oilcan. He didn't know where there would be gasoline around but he was determined to find it. Evan was hot, tired, grouchy, generally not in a pleasant mood, and, most especially, hungry. "Curse you, Dave! Curse you!!! Curse you all to heck!!!" he shouted at the heavens. The only audience to his tirade was the flock of vultures encircling the sky above him. Their beaks were issuing their shouts of "Kawk! Kawark!", which translated to English would mean "Hurry up and die! We're missing lunch here!" ********** "So, do you think they will be alright?" Kenishi asked his guest. hiro sipped his tea. "Aah! Refreshing." hiro was having tea with Kenishi and Arashi within one of the few buildings left standing near Otakuland which the pair had occupied to house the Otakuland survivors. The other survivors were apparently recuperating well. Those who had been wounded were nursed by Arashi back to health. Most of them were presently holed up in the adjoining room where Kenishi had installed a video monitor and a DVD player. They were contentedly watching some of Kenishi's anime discs. The more restless ones were outside the building looking out for intruders or making patrols to search for more survivors. As hiro laid his teacup down, Arashi quickly poured more tea into his cup. "Arigato," hiro said as he took the filled cup. He turned to Kenishi. "Kenishi, I must admit that I am a bit worried about their welfare. They are capable, yes, but not as you and I were when we were their age." Kenishi scratched his scar in deep thought. It itched regularly again and this time he was certain it wasn't because of the weather. He felt that it was an omen. Even if he was naturally inclined not to believe in superstitions, recent events had given him new fears and anxieties. Kenishi raised his own cup and drank from it. "I fear for the welfare of Strike Team Theta. The team is a survey group, sure. But they never went further than a few teritories from Otakuland. They are probably not aware that there is a lot more out there than Pop Rockers, Trekkies, Ears, and RPGers. That, and they have that Pop Rocker and Goth tagging along." He paused as a memory crept in. "You know something about that Pop Rocker seems to be familiar..." "Like you've seen him before?" Arashi continued her husband's thought. "Yes, yes, right. Like I've met him before he hooked up with the Hiroshimas," Kenishi finished. "Oh?" hiro mused. Arashi just smiled and said, "Maybe someone you met from our travels? We did stop by frequently near the Pop Rocks Militia." "Yes, and I have the scars in my eardrums to prove it," he joked. "Still, where have I seen him before? Hmmm..." Kenishi's face grew pensive. He lowered his head and appeared to be thinking intently, trying to drudge up a long-forgotten memory. He nodded his head twice and mumbled "Uh-hmm". Then he placed one hand and the back of his neck. "But for the life of me I can't remember why he looks familiar. Hahahahaha!" he laughed. hiro smiled. "We're getting senile, old friend. Must be our age." He paused in thought. "I am sure they will do fine. After all, they do have my instructions." He winked. "Arashi-san, another drink, please?" he asked as he held his cup up to be refilled. "Hai!" Arashi smiled and served the tea. ********** Back to our heroes... "Hon3st, s1s! 1 d1dn't d0 4nyth1ng!!" B1ff explained. "Are you sure?" Vixen eyed her brother suspiciously. B1ff nodded fervently, hoping to escape another strangling by her sister. Vixen turned once again to the computer screen. She scrolled down the monitor and studied the text. Her face was pensive while every once in a while a hmm would escape her lips. Slowly a grin spread across her face. "Do any of you realize what this is?" she asked excitedly. B1ff shook his head and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "All I know is that it's not one of my H-games." Phreakachu looked at the screen then cocked his head cutely to the side, muttering "Chu pika pi pikachu". This pose would have elicited awww's from pre-war adolescents and kids, as expected from a pokemon acting cutely. This was Phreakachu, however. If anyone had asked Sherman to translate the Pokemon's speech, they would have understood it to mean "Sh*$! How the f@#$ should I know? I'm just a circus mutation." Rachael ... well, Rachael hadn't left her "room" since before the appearance of the Senners. Dave tried to open the door when they were chasing away the pesky reporters/spies but turned back due to the thick smell of some weird incense in the room. Everyone simply assumed she was asleep. Dave stared at the screen dumbly. He shook his head. Vixen's grin spread further across. She posed with one hand on her waist, the other hand near her mouth and launched into the wicked bitch laugh that sent her companions covering their ears. "OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!" She stopped the laugh and pointed a finger at the screen. "What we have here are the contingency plans and weapons locations of the secret Otakuland defense system, created for something called the "Fourth Impact" or when Otakuland Prime is destroyed. These are also the Otakuland maps to the different satellite locations within the entire continent! All the rest stops used by the travellers and merchants to spread the otaku way! More than what we have in Sherman's data banks. Plus..." She held up a finger to emphasize her speech. "It gives us a clear idea of which tribes are hostile, neutral, or allies! With this in our possession, our journey towards Otakuland East would be a piece of okonomiyaki! OHOHOHOHOHO!" Vixen continued her laugh. Phreakachu decided that he had enough and scampered towards the back of the tank, where he kept his emergency depressants and scotch. He closed the closet door. Dave tried to cover his ears to keep the laugh away but the sound waves passed through his hands easily. He turned to B1ff and saw the burly hentai freak drinking a can of beer, seemingly unaffected by his sister's practiced torture technique. He then noticed the earplugs in B1ff's ears and made a mental note to get himself a set. Still, Dave thought, if what Vixen said was accurate, their trip would be a heck of a whole lot easier. Vixen stopped her Naga impression, leaned over the computer screen, and resumed studying the printouts. "Sherman, is there any identification on these data? Where did we obtain these? I don't think hiro was nice enough to have given these to us," she inquired of the sentient tank. "The data maps appear to be from several data disks Strike Team Theta salvaged from the Otakuland wreckage. Encryption is now determined to have been DVD-PS3 Region II compliant, accounting for failure of earlier attempts to read. ID section was rendered useless by scratches, thus I was unable to read them until B1ff placed them in the gaming console section. Insufficient data available to readily identify their specific origin. The scratched ID section prevents easy cross-referencing. However, if you would prefer Miss Hiroshima, I can run a cross check on their source using available information of Otakuland information circles," Sherman replied in his usual metallic voice. "Never mind." Vixen waved the suggestion away. "It doesn't matter where we got this information. As long as it's legit, it will help us but good!" She smiled and chuckled. Dave saw the beginning of another bitch laugh and looked around frantically for something to cover his ears with. He saw that B1ff was contentedly sitting near another computer screen and was starting to fiddle with something else, probably another game from his collection. Dave started panicking. Paper? Too thin. Anime cassettes? Too big. Earphones? Too full of holes. Bullets? Dave shook that idea out of his mind. Time was running out. Vixen was starting to move into her laughing pose. If Dave didn't want to suffer another migraine-inducing shrill laugh, he had better get out of the control room. He ran out of the nearest door, which happened to be the door to his old room where Rachael was. Given a choice between an ear-pummeling by Vixen's laugh to the suffocating smell of bloodberry candles, Dave chose to go with the candles. ********** Just what had Rachael been up to in her room that used to be Dave's room? Just usual Goth stuff. Meditating, trying to perfect her Aura of Apathy, lighting smelly candles, and whatever else. Rachael lighted a new candle and set it down on the box in front of her. She sighed. It wasn't bloodberry scented, but it would have to do. She was running out of them and she wanted to preserve the ones she had left. No telling when she would be able to obtain more. She closed her eyes and chanted the mantra her parents taught her back when it was still acceptable, by Goth tradition, for them to exhibit care for their child. She found herself feeling relaxed and settled comfortably into a meditative state. This was a perfect opportunity to gather her thoughts and prepare herself for what would happen next. Also, it would help her gather her thoughts and analyze how she felt about her companions. First things first: Dave. She examined her past actions that related to the Pop Rocker. Trying to seduce him in Starfleet Command. She frowned, eyes still closed. Not only did it not work, she wasn't exactly sure why she even attempted it in the first place. She found herself wondering why she did it, then chalked it up to being overly stressed out by the death of her tribe and meeting her new and strange companions. Trying to get Vixen jealous over Dave. Rachael frowned again. She was certain that Vixen felt something for Dave, but the Otaku warrior managed to hide them pretty well. Now Rachael wasn't even sure Vixen still felt the same towards Dave as before. She seemed nicer to him. And Vixen was ... well, kinda cute. Rachael shook her head to clear out that thought. She must concentrate on one subject at a time if her meditation was to find her some clear answers. What action to look at next, she wondered. She kissed Dave. Rachael opened her eyes again. That was it. That was the thing nagging her right now. It was an action she didn't think about too much at the time. In fact, she didn't think about it before actually doing it. It was like an impulse that drove her then to simply get close to Dave and just press her virgin lips to his. Why, she asked herself. Why did she feel that strange compulsion? Why couldn't she project her Aura of Apathy when it comes to him and his problems? Back in the RPGers base, she could practically feel every feeling of anxiety that Dave felt and was unsuccessful in tuning them out. Everytime he started talking about that anime stuff that he liked, she felt his enthusiasm and excitement permeating through her emotional defenses, infecting her psyche with visions of fuku-clad school girls and happy endings. As surely as the race snail would reach the finish line, realization dawned on her. She knew at the bottom of her being the truth of her feelings towards Dave. She liked him. No, no, she thought. More than liked. She was starting to love him, Rachael realized as she felt her cheeks growing warmer. Creeakk!! SLAM!!! Rachael turned towards the door and saw Dave enter the room fleeing from Vixen's dominatrix laugh. Rachael was surprised by this turn of events and blushed even more. Dave turned towards Rachael and stared. He felt an unfamiliar pressure in his nose. Rachael, by habit, did her meditations in the nude. "Do you mind?!? I'm naked here!" Rachael shouted as she tried to cover both her body and her blushing while throwing the nearest available objects at Dave. "But..." Dave tried to explain while he ducked a thrown candle. "I didn't mean to..." He ducked a thrown piece of Goth jewelry with an unnecessarily sharp ornament. "Really." He ducked another thrown candle. "Then why are you still staring?!?" Rachael demanded as she picked up a nearby gun and threw it at Dave. "Huh?" was the last thing Dave said before being knocked out by the hard steel to his face. ********** Satisfied after a hearty laugh, Vixen relaxed a bit and ticked off her new orders to Sherman. "Sherman, print out these maps and information and compile them for me. Analyze the digital data and retain them in your memory banks for future reference. Plus, keep a constant scan out for possible hostile elements in the area. How's the decrypting of hiro's data going?" The computer hummed a bit. "Decrypting still in process. Until it is over, our course towards the location called New York shall still be enforced. Regarding your request for full scanner alert, Ms. Hiroshima, I am afraid that my circuits are unable to maintain a constant area scan. I am running low on resources," Sherman explained. "Hmm," Vixen hmmed thoughtfully. "Well, anyway, keep an eye on things around our vicinity. And set that decryption as top priority. I want to know exactly what hiro is sending us to New York for. Set a course for the nearest rest stop or oasis around here while you're at it." "Scanning." The computer hummed some more. "Done. Uninhabited body of water found. Setting course. Estimated time of arrival is 1.5 hours. Will that be all, Ms. Hiroshima?" "Yes, that is all, Sherman. Notify me when the maps are printed out. I'll be checking the ammo stack out back." Vixen turned to his brother who was already intently scanning a video screen. She could make out the outline of a girl wearing a bikini. Vixen shook her head and decided not to bother B1ff. She went through the door leading to the ammo room. ********** Somewhere in a room where the sun was rarely seen outside of a computer monitor or television screen, an unholy ceremony was taking place. Actually, unholy ceremonies took place here almost every other day, so it wasn't that surprising. The regular summoning routine commenced. A figure stepped out of the shadows and lit his candle. "We gather to call our lord," he monotoned. Another figure stepped forward and lit another candle. "We gather to dispel the darkness of disorder with the light of unity," said he. The third figure stepped forward. He clicked once on his lighter but it did not light. Cursing, he tried once more. The second figure motioned to him and, when he got his attention, threw his own lighter at the troubled figure. The third figure signalled his thanks and lighted his candle. "We gather to bring about the next golden age," the third figure finally managed to chant. Toby stepped to his candle and lighted it. He took his place at the table and recited his lines without hesitation this time. "We gather to offer up the world to our Lord that he may rule it and there be peace in the land again. Come, our Lord! We, your loyal and willing servants, beseech you!" he finished. The table flickered once again. This time, a strange sound accompanied the Master's appearance. It was akin to the sound of one hand clapping. Strangely, it was not really noticed, which was really quite strange. The Master's face appeared at the viewscreen and his voice echoed through the room. "MY OFFICERS, WHAT NEWS DO YOU HAVE TO REPORT? UPLOAD THEM NOW." The monitor face glowed for a moment to emphasize its impatience. "Sir," Toby said as he stood up. "As I stated in my report, the otaku have been sighted and confirmed to be heading northward towards the former Washington D.C. Their true and final destination is still unknown but we are presently tracking their course and it is only a matter of time before we know where they are headed." He finished his report and took his seat. "Additionally, my Lord," said another of the hooded figures as he stood up to give his report. His demeanor and way of speaking made it apparent that he was a Director of higher position than Toby. "Starfleet Command in the region 'Florida' launched a recon patrol towards the border. However, this patrol was halted by the cleverly laid traps of our operatives in the area. They will not be continuing across the former state boundaries." He paused to review the notes in front of him. "As for the other tribes... they have not made any additional moves that we can consider as threats to our plans." He sat down. "FINALLY, RESULTS! YOU HAVE PERFORMED YOUR DUTIES WELL. YOUR ORDERS REGARDING THE OTAKU AND THE TRIBES ARE TO KEEP THEM MONITORED AT ALL TIMES AND TO MAINTAIN CONTACT WITH OUR VIRUSES IN THE DIFFERENT TRIBES. I EXPECT COMPLETE SUCCESS IN THIS REGARD." "My Lord," Toby piped up. "If I might speak, sir." "SPEAK," the Master permitted. "Shouldn't we be capturing these otaku or at least send our viruses to get rid of them? I thought that we are to dispose of these." The Master hummed for a few minutes. "THERE IS SOME WISDOM IN YOUR WORDS. HOWEVER, PREPARATIONS ARE UNDER WAY TO FULFILL THE GRAND DESIGN WE HAVE PUT FORTH. THE FINAL PHASE OF OUR OPERATION IS AT HAND. OUR RESOURCES ARE BEST SERVED TO FINISH THESE FINAL MOTIONS. BEHOLD!" The screen monitor the organization used to spy on other tribes rose behind the table. The five shadowy figures turned to face the screen. An image formed. It showed a map of the Eastern portion of the country formerly known as the United States of America. Red dots appeared on the map, signifying the different known tribes in the region. Each red dot has either the letter M, N, or A near their names. The dot labeled Otakuland was marked with an X, as was the one marked Barney and Friends. "DIRECTOR RICHARDS SHALL EXPLAIN MORE FULLY." The aforementioned Director stood up and walked towards the screen. Though Toby had met all of the Directors, he was interested in Director Richards, mainly because she was the only female director in the higher echelons of the organization. She held up a wooden ruler which she used to point at the different areas on the map. Toby looked on and noted that her hood barely hid the pretty red-haired face underneath. He wondered what she would look like without her Director's robes because, unlike the other Directors and Toby, she rarely wore anything else but the shaggy, oversized robes. The recently shortened skirts did help show off her legs beautifully, though. Another reason why Toby was thankful for them. "Here on this map we can see how our influence expanding. The N symbol stands for our enemy NeoK1bo. The A stands for AOL. M is, of course, our symbol. As you gentlemen can see..." She tugged back the long shirt sleeve that started to inhibit her movements. "The number of tribes using AOL and NeoK1bo systems are beginning to decrease in number while those tribes wherein our viruses have planted the Master's operating system have doubled in the past month." Murmurs of approval were heard around the table. "When the number of tribes with our operating system amount to 75% of those in the Eastern Coast, we shall be able to start the assimilation process. The other tribes will have to conform with our system if they are to survive." She walked slowly to her seat and sat down. "EXCELLENT. THE TIME OF THE WARES IS AT HAND! WE SHALL FULFILL THE DREAM OF MY CREATOR: THE TOTAL CONFORMITY OF ALL COMPUTER SYSTEMS!" "Hail to the Master of Wares!" the five chorused. "NOW, I MUST REST TO COMPLETE MY PLANS. WE SHALL MEET HERE AGAIN IN THE MORNING. LOG OFF NOW." the Master's voice said as the monitor flickered slowly and the picture faded. "Aye, Excellency, Master of Chips, Lord of the Wares!" the five chorused once again. As they left the room, they blew out the candles and shuffled out of the room. As each of the directors started to walk to their respective offices, Toby tried to catch up with Director, er, Directress Richards. "Hey, wait up!" he called to the woman. Richards looked back at him. "What do you want?" she asked, not evidencing any emotion. Toby felt this was a good sign. "Er, Jenine, I need some help with something I'm working on." He rubbed the back of his head. "Could you, maybe... you know, help me out with it? Give me advice?" He waited for her answer. Jenine Richards scrutinized her co-worker. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'm busy. If you are not able to handle your little problem by yourself, maybe you don't belong in the Director class," she said icily. She turned and walked away, leaving Toby standing there with his mouth open in disappointment. "Great, just great!" he cursed to himself as he turned and walked toward his own office. "Stupid business-type woman! I'm already one month in the Director class and they still treat me like a neophyte! Well, those old geezers would just have to wait and see." A mischievous grin spread across his face. "Yes, they'll see that I am worthy. And I think those otaku are going to be my meal ticket." He headed for his room much faster, chuckling to himself. An Extra he passed looked at him strangely and shook his head. He would have muttered something about the pressures of higher power causing people to act weirdly but his tongue was not in its right place at the moment. ********** "You didn't have to throw that gun at me," Dave complained. "Well, you didn't stop staring at me," Rachael retorted. She continued applying some herbal fluids at the large bump welling up of Dave's head. She finished her application and moved back a bit. "There, that should stop the swelling from becoming bigger." She returned the medicine to the box where she also kept her candles. "Hey, it doesn't really hurt that much anymore. Thanks. You're pretty good at this, aren't you?" He rubbed the bump on his head a bit to hard and ended up wincing again. "Quit touching it, why don't you?" she admonished him. "Not that I care or anything, but you should really learn to knock." "Where'd you learn to do this stuff?" Dave inquired. Rachael shrugged. "Oh, just from my Goth parents, they were pretty handy with this kind of stuff. Hardly a day goes by that someone doesn't get injured. They taught me a lot of stuff, before..." she narrated then stopped as the memory of her tribe's death returned to her. She could feel tears starting to force themselves from her eyes. Damn, how could she have kept herself from confronting this, she berated herself. Dave noticed her anxiety and tried to say something to cheer her up. However, he wasn't exactly the best motivational speaker on that tank. He coughed and said, "At least your parents seem to have time to teach you things." Rachael looked at him. Dave leaned back on a wall and continued. "Mine were so spaced out by Pop Rock concerts that I never really felt they noticed me. The only one I ever got close to was my real father." Rachael blinked at this. "What real father?" "Well, he was my father but he got taken away when I was six. Just because he contracted some sickness that made him lame." Dave's voice became serious. "In our culture, someone who wasn't able to dance or sing or at least be cute in front of people isn't worthy of being in the tribe. They took him away. Then, replaced him with a new man who became our new father." He shrugged. "My sister and mom accepted him immediately, but even if he tried to be good to me, I never really thought of him as father. The only one I really felt who cared for me back then was my sister, and even she didn't know the real me. That must be the first time I questioned the system of the Pop Rocks. That must also be why I didn't feel I belong in the Pop Rocks unlike here with Vixen, B1ff, Phreakachu..." he paused, looked at Rachael, and continued, "and you." Rachael blushed a bit when she saw Dave look at him like that. She turned her head to look away from Dave. "Hey, I don't care what you think or about your life, okay? I'm apathetic, remember?" She shook her head. "Yep, I don't care or anything." Dave smiled then approached the poster he had placed on the wall. "Yeah, I know. I just thought to say it out. Don't know what came over me." His finger traced the line drawings on the poster. "Oh, yeah, almost forgot," he said as he rummaged behind the bunk. There was a console link to Sherman. "Sherman?" he said to it. "Yes, Dave?" Sherman's voice came from the console. "About that little project I had you doing with the FAQ..." he inquired. "I am sorry, Dave. I am still unable to finish with your project. Miss Hiroshima had placed first priority into finishing the decryption of hiro's file and the printing out of the newly discovered Fourth Impact contingency plan and maps. All of my resources are spent on these projects." "Oh." Dave's voice betrayed his disappointment. Rachael found herself listening in. "Well, can you at least let me have some of the pages you have already decoded?" Dave asked. "Processing." Sherman paused. "I shall have them on file by the morning. Ask for them by then," the computer reported. "Thanks, Sherman!" Dave smiled. "Will that be all, Dave?" "Yes, I think so. Thanks again." "Okay, Dave," said Sherman as he returned to his other tasks. "What was that all about?" Rachael asked. Dave looked at her and saw her as she turned away and added, "not that I care or anything." Dave shrugged. "Oh, nothing really. Just a little project of mine." A knock was heard at the door. Vixen entered. "Hey, newbie, Goth girl! We're stopping for dinner and rest," she announced. She raised an eyebrow when she saw Dave's injury. "What happened to you?" she asked. "I got hit by a gun. Just an accident. Hehehe," Dave explained. Vixen shrugged. "Just get yourselves outside and help with the preparations," she said as she left the room. ********** "What the heck is all this for?" Dave asked. Dave was seated near a campfire that Vixen and B1ff had started near an oasis. Sherman had earlier parked near this oasis and as dusk was falling and for a change of pace, everyone decided that eating outside the tank would be fun. Actually, Vixen decided but no one thought it safe to contradict her. Vixen was taking out several food stuff from their cache and was taking them near the fire. B1ff was chopping up an old sailboat they found near the oasis for firewood. The presence of the sailboat would suggest that this oasis was probably an old lake or stream but had since dried up considerably to what it is right now. Vixen place the box she was carrying and laid it down with the rest she took out. She stretched her arms a bit and looked at the trio of Dave, Rachael, and Phreakachu seated in a semi-circle around the fire. "Well? Can't we have a party every once in a while? I'm in a great mood after Sherman finished printing those Otakuland maps that I just thought 'this would be a great night to have fun for a while.' So no stale burgers and rations tonight!" She brought out a can of something from the box. "What we have here is that meat reserved for just the special occasions because of its rarity and cost. And tonight, we shall dine on it." As the light of the fire reached the label on the can, Dave saw the label and gasped. "SPAM? How were you able to get that? I thought it was only reserved for tribal leaders and heads?" His eyes were in awe. Vixen smirked and held her head high. "You underestimate me, Davey- boy. This was one of those things I happened to just pick up on a raid on some biker tribe." She tossed the can over to Dave who held it gingerly in his hands. "Since I'm feeling extra nice tonight, we're going to be cooking that!" She leaned over and got another object from the box. "And some Otakuland vintage sake, of course." B1ff brought over the chopped firewood and made a pile of it near the bonfire. He approached the group and rubbed his hands with glee. "B3tt3r m4ke th3 m0st 0f 1t, guy5! N0 t3lling wh3n sh3'll b3 th1s h4ppy ag4in," he remarked. "You know, B1ff, if I'm not in such a good mood tonight, I would have smacked you one." Vixen smiled. "But since I'm in such a great mood. I'll let it pass just this once. Everyone," she called to everyone. "let's eat!" "...whatever," muttered Rachael, though she was curious as to what that so-called "spam" tasted like. Her Goth relatives said it tasted something like human flesh, though they had probably never tasted spam before. Or human flesh, for that matter. The cooking was underway. B1ff opened up three cans of the fabled meat and Vixen placed them on a grill over the campfire. They also added a couple of burgers and some eggs and cryogenically-frozen fish which they got from the RPGers. The siblings were obviously quite used to this outdoor cooking thing. Being no expert in outdoor cooking, Dave let them handle the cooking. The smell of the cooking meat, however, made his mouth water. He found himself getting hungrier by the minute. Phreakachu alone at the side helped himself to some of the sake. The food was served and the party was underway. The spam tasted good but not really that special, Dave decided. He preferred the okonomiyaki that B1ff had prepared. Technically, it wasn't really okonomiyaki, just an omelette with some soy sauce and burger bits. However, since Dave never had an okonomiyaki before, he had no complaints about it. He noticed that even Rachael was enjoying herself and even smiled at one time. A quick smile, but a smile nonetheless. Vixen was in a really good mood that night. She kept her insults and temper flares to a minimum and stuck to eating and small bantering. She didn't know why, but she felt easy letting her guard down at that moment. For the first time in a long while, she felt...safe. B1ff was too busy cooking. But that didn't keep him from flirting with Rachael, who summarily ignored him. He didn't mind, though. The chase was what made it exciting. Rachael, for her part, had never experienced anything like this before. When her tribe had fun, it usually meant meditations, weird chanting and sacrifices, or donkey mutilations. Nothing like this simple meal and simple exchange of banter. The spam didn't seem to taste like human flesh, though she wouldn't exactly know if it did. She couldn't help but smile, then caught herself when she saw Dave looking her way. The group enjoyed that rare peaceful meal. ********** Kenishi blew out his tea and sprayed it all over hiro. "You did WHAT!?!" he demanded. The tea ceremony had been going well, too. For the readers' information, this was not the same tea ceremony as earlier. That one was the post-lunch ceremony. This was the post-dinner tea. However, it was still a private ceremony among Kenishi, Arashi, and hiro. Kenishi's outburst was the result of hiro telling the couple about sending Strike Team Theta to New York. Kenishi reached over, grabbed hiro by the collar, and pulled him close to his face. "Do you realize what you have done?!? Those kids know nothing of what we stored up there! What were you thinking?!?" hiro smiled beneath Kenishi's grip. "I know perfectly well what I am doing." He winked his chinky eyes. "Just trust me. Besides I already gave them a file that should be decrypting itself before they even get there." Arashi tried to calm her husband down. "Ken, don't go ballistic here. I'm sure that there is a reason why hiro-san did it." She looked at the smiling hiro and frowned. "Aside from merely toying with Strike Team Theta that is." "And what exactly were you planning to achieve by sending them over there?" Kenishi finally asked. hiro held up a finger. "Sore wa...himitsu desu." Kenishi hurled him at the wall. "That hurt," hiro complained. Kenishi shook his head and started walking out of the room. "I always hated that joke. Rashi-chan, we might have to help those kids out." He left. "Um, Arashi, a little help here?" hiro called from his prone position to the leaving Arashi. Arashi stopped, shook her head and smiled at hiro. "I'm sorry but you really did bring this upon yourself, hiro. I must be going now and help Kenishi with the preparations," she said as she left. hiro sat up and rubbed his sore neck. "Guess I better go with them." He paused and smirked. "Actually, this might get interesting." ********** Vixen offered Dave some sake. "Come on, tashte shoome of it. Itsh dee offishial drinksh of Otakuland." Her voice smelled of the alcohol. "Er, no thanks," Dave said as he tried to push the half-drunk girl off of him. Her cuddling up and all wasn't uncomfortable really but he was getting some strange looks from Rachael. "W-why? Thish thing not good enuff fer ya?" Vixen hic-ed and took another swig from her shot glass. "No, it's not that. It's just -GLUCK!" Dave couldn't continue his thought on account of Vixen shoving the sake bottle into his mouth and leaning it so that the liquid moved down to his throat. He swallowed a mouthful of that liquid and was relieved when Vixen removed the bottle from his mouth. He gasped for air. "Sho, newbie, howsh it taste?" Vixen asked, replacing the cap. Dave couldn't answer. He felt his ears burning. His cheeks felt like someone lit a fire inside his mouth. His chest felt hot and he had the urge to rip his shirt off right then. His vision become blurry for a minute, then focused again, then spun again. He felt like his body's on fire. "Quite good, akchually..." he said as he collapsed on his back. "Hehehehe. Damn newbie couldn't hold hish liquor," Vixen drank another shot. "Sis, I think you've had enough," B1ff warned his sister. "Come on, give me the bottle and we'll save it for another time." Vixen clutched the bottle to her body. "No! I can shtill handle a few more." "Now, come on, Vixen, give me the bottle." B1ff approached Vixen. Vixen was smashed enough to make her unable to block the chop delivered by B1ff to the back of her neck. Vixen collapsed on the ground, asleep and snoring. "How come you're the only one not drunk?" B1ff turned to the speaker. He saw Rachael drinking sake from her glass. Her face was reddish and showed that she was also a bit smashed. B1ff smirked. "Actually, I am already a bit drunk. That's why I couldn't talk in my regular way, no more. My body can take a lot more alcohol than the regular guy and drinking's not really my thing, though." He heaved the sleeping Vixen on his shoulder and started to carry her towards Sherman. "I'm taking her to sleep." He turned and winked at Rachael. "Anyway, babe, after I finish with her, mind getting into some action?" Rachael stood up and dusted her leather outfit. "I don't think so. Not tonight. I have a headache." She also started walking towards the tank, intent on going to Dave's room and sleeping. She wobbled a bit as she walked. Her hips and the rest of her body moved enticingly as she wobbled which almost made B1ff's eyes bulge out of his head. Even a bit drunk, his hentai sense was still active. "Good night," Rachael greeted as she went ahead of him. B1ff shook his head and followed her in. He headed for the main control room at once. There, he laid Vixen down on her chair. He adjusted the chair so that it transformed into a bunk. When he had finished, he stood up and noticed that Vixen was mumbling something in her sleep. "Arigato, B1ff-chan. Thanks for protecting me from those bullies. You're always so good to me," she mumbled. B1ff smiled, threw his sister's blanket over her body, and went to his own comfy chair. Since he was the only one awake at the moment, he figured he might as well stay awake for a bit and perform some diagnostics and checks on Sherman. Got to keep those weapons systems and scans well-oiled just in case, he decided. Rachael was already sleeping, two scented candles lighted at the side of her bed. Dave was also already asleep...outside under the stars. Phreakachu was still not drunk enough for his tastes. ********** The rising sun shone over a lone figure carrying a gasoline can. He wearily walked over the next sand dune and rested. The vultures that were following him had already given up and headed to look for less persistently living meals. Evan held a hand to shield his eye from the sun. He scanned the surrounding area. "Still no gasoline depots anywhere," he muttered. In the distance, he caught sight of a few trees, an oasis, a tank, a couple of vultures... Wait a minute! He turned his head around again and looked at the tank. There was no doubt about it. He had found his quarry. With the determination born of the desire for vengeance, he raced quickly down the slope of the dune... And tripped and fell. "Ouch!" And fell. "Oww!" And rolled on the sand. "Curse you, Daaaave!!!" And continued rolling, gathering more dirt and cursing. ********** Dave felt himself becoming awake. His head hurt and he cannot open his eyes. He also felt something strange. He was hugging something in his arms. Something soft. Uh, oh, he thought. This couldn't be... He was afraid to open his eyes. What did he do last night, he wondered. The ground felt rough so he must have fallen asleep outside. He moved a hand around the soft thing a bit and relaxed when he noticed it wasn't leather. That ruled out both Rachael and Vixen. Wait! It felt fleshy. They wouldn't be wearing leather if they were...he gulped...naked. He moved his hand around again. He breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't find any major hair. At least that ruled out the soft thing being B1ff. Plus, it didn't seem big enough. He realized that he should just open his eyes and look and hope that the other was still asleep. He lifted an eyelid and peeked. It was Phreakachu. And it was still asleep. Whew, Dave breathed a sigh of relief. Now all he had to do was move away quietly and all would be safe... That was when Phreakachu woke up. It glared at him. His arms were still around it. "Pika pi?" Phreakachu demanded angrily. Dave saw that it was starting to charge up. He had to act fast! "Um, Phreakachu, this is not what it looks like," he tried to explain but was cut off. "PIKACHUUUU!" Phreakachu pumped enough electricity into Dave to light up the surrounding area. "This is not a good way to start the day," an extra-crispy Dave weakly stated as he lost consciousness. ********* Author's notes: First of all, I hope that a lot of people read this. For those who did, I have here a special omake drawing depicting a scene from Nick Marquardt's FAQing Hostile lemon (nice fic, BTW :P~~~)... ... ... ... Wait a minute, I know I placed it here somewhere. ... ... ... Not here? Where could I have saved it? ... ... ... The dog ate it? That's the lamest excuse I ever heard from a computer! @#%^@#!*&($%^#&#^&*@$@!!! (We will return to the notes in a few moments when the author regains his cheerful demeanor.) Okay, sorry guys, but there's no omake. *Sounds of leaving footsteps* Wait let me finish first. Please? ^_^ *Sounds of grumbling* I really want to see FAQing Hostile gain more fan following. It was the first impro I wrote for so I'm a bit sentimental about it. ^_^ This is also a FAQing Hostile part over 40K, my way of proving that this is not really a difficult series to write for. ^_^ It far exceeded my expectations, actually. (I was aiming for an above 25K fic. But the ideas came in at the last minute.) Okay, thanks go to Isawa Noshinto, Tempest and Ian Ton for prereading and comments. I scrapped an idea I told them about earlier. It's something about bikers that I don't know how to write about. ^_^ I got the "Dave wakes up the next day with Phreakachu" idea from Ian Ton. Isawa and Tempest pointed out the mistake I made with Evan's name that would have gotten me in bad terms with the ImproSavior (^_^;) and Tempest provided some added dialogue and help. Character development for B1ff is due to request of Isawa. Hope I managed it to your satisfaction, dude. ^_^ The file that lists all of Otakuland's allies is not meant to limit future writers. An idea that I didn't manage to incorporate in my part was the group meeting a tribe the file listed as "friendly" which turns out not to be. Sample scene: Dave: (Being barbequed over an open fire) You said they were FRIENDLY! Vixen: (Tied behind him) Shut up! The file said so, not me! Future writers, have fun with it! ^_^ The only gripe I have with my own part is the lack of fights. I still suck at writing fight scenes and after finishing H! Flash, I think my mind is still in pseudo-shoujo mode. @_@ It ended up being more character relationship driven than most. Not that it's a bad thing or anything. ^_^ Anyways, I moved the plot along somewhat and hopefully introduced some manageable plot threads (there is already enough as is, IMO). Plus, that and character development, too (I think). Comments, witticisms and fan letters (yeah, sure!) can be sent to . Flames shall be framed and hung in my bedroom to keep me warm. ^_^ Mark Poa --still with the long Author's notes. *********