Dave began to write in the battered notebook he had found a few days ago. The pen he used was ancient, and skipped mercilessly. He set the pen down, and again, the tears began to fall. They coursed down his cheeks and onto the papers lying on his lap. He took another swig of the bottle next to him, and suddenly noticed the tears were falling harder. Hold on, he thought. Dammit! It's raining! he cursed mentally as he scrambled to get everything inside before the strength of the storm hit. FAQing Hostile Chapter 26 by Twoflower this chapter by Tempest Dave, slightly damp, made his way down into his room, careful not to disturb the pikachu kawaiily sleeping in the middle of the hallway out cold from another binge. Funny, he thought. There seems to be something different about the electrical rat today. He entered his room and jimmied the door shut, slightly bruising his shoulder. Must remind Vixen to get more WD40 at the next stop we had. The sound of the storm outside was rather muffled, but distinct against the reinforced tantalum exterior of the tank. Dave shuddered. The last thing he needed was a rainstorm turning him into a puddle of goo. Or worse. Back in the Pop Rock compound, there were horror stories of someone's uncle's father-in-law's widow's niece's dog's playmate's cousin being caught in one of them. The method of inhumation varied, but was usually a straw or a vacuum cleaner or flamethrower. He turned to the page he had been writing at. A page filled with "Rachael" written over and over marching down the page stared him back in the face. Wearily, he turned off the lights and tried to go to sleep. ---- Vixen tapped her fingers impatiently over the keyboard, manually inspecting several diagnostics over Sherman's innards running across the screen. She could never figure out this internal's screen of Sherman's, it was a holdover from the ancient Nebuchadnezzar regime back in Otakuland, where someone in the maintenance division had gone gaga over the Matrix. A pretty outdated film, she thought to herself. Kurosawa could've done better with flashier effects. B1ff hummed to himself, at home with these very screens. He flashed one shut, and reported to Vixen. "G3nk1 0n 4ll 1nt3rn4l sy5t3ms s1s." "Just barely, you mean." "W3ll, wh3n w4s th3 l4st t1m3, th1ngs w3r3 g3nk1?" "Otakuland." At this, the siblings breathed a sigh of reminiscence. The sister missing the blasting range and the nucleopoints in development, and the brother missing the panty raids and the weekly lecture by Oe sensei on his new field of development. Their reverie was cut short by the familiar metallic voice of Sherman. "Commander, massive movement detected to the north." Vixen was all business again. "Kiiroi level. Ascertain threat level." "Yokai. Processing," said Sherman. ---- The entirety of Strike Team Theta, along with what they now considered their sharpshooter if he could actually manage to hit something, gathered round the obdervation monitor. "Elephants?" asked Dave in a weak voice. "In blue and red?" asked an incredulous B1ff. "Analysis indicates that they are a public relations machine," chimed Sherman. There was complete silence, save for the whir of ventilation fans. "Phreaaaaaaaaaka." "Are they headed our way?" asked Vixen. "Absolutely, Commander. They will most probably attempt perusasion to ... er, 'vote for Tree in 2193.'" Complete silence. ---- Meanwhile, an echelon of tanks in black and red made their way towards where the Strike Team was currently located. And from within one of them, a grating metallic whine that came close to teeth being ground in anticipation could be heard emanating. ---- The chanting of "Tree in Ninety-Three!" from outside the tank announce the presence of their unwanted guests to the Strike Team. Vixen was biding her time, waiting until the incessant pounding on the tank annoyed her fully to take action. "Sherman, are'nt there any escape vectors?" "Negative Commander. The rains yesterday have made all travel untenable except via asphalt. Which is currently being blocked by..." Vixen waved him down, "Yes, yes, I see them on all the monitors." Another set of pounding came from somewhere outside. "Pika pi pi chu?" "N0 dud3, 1 th1nk th3y c4n 0utl45t u5. 1'v3 h3rd th31r lungz ar3 st33l." "Phreee." ---- The echelon of tanks from above were joined by another wing of tanks, this time in green and blue livery. Again, the faint whine of grating metal could be heard over the menacing rumble of the treads pounding asphalt. ---- Vixen shuddered as the pounding and chanting outside the tank grew more insistent. Not from fear or the sudden chill that went down her spine for no apparent reason, mind you, but from the increasingly forceful pounding by the elephants outside with their steel tipped trunks. "Sherman, damage report," she barked. "Hull integrity, genki. Tread status, sugoi. Main gun, genki. Radar antenna, genki, though they have managed to knock it several degrees out of alignment..." B1ff made a mental note to kick the bastard who'd given him this additional repair job. "... and main turret hatch, ma ne." Vixen sat down and concentrated fiercely. What would a girl with a guntank do with twelve elephants? "They're too close to engage with the main gun, correct." "Hai, Commander," rumbled Sherman. "And the flashbangs, Phreak and rifles will have tough going with elephant hide." "Hai." Vixen thought some more. Dave whispered to B1ff, "Think she'll get us out of this?" "M4yb3," said B1ff, just before he got clocked with a VCD casing. "0w13." "Shut up over there and let me think how to get around this." ---- The echelon of menacing multicolored tanks countinued their course, like bloodhounds to foxes, mice to cheese, and girls to boybands. Their speed seemed to pick up increment by little increment. And some distance behind them, a set of black limos with all terrain suspensions surreptitiously closed in on them. ---- "Why me!?" whined Dave as Vixen tried to shove him out the turret. "Because, newbie, you're our closest equivalent to normal, whatever that means. Now go up there and clear the road." Vixen got him out the hatch with a massive shove and shut the cover down. Dave stared in dismay as the hatch cover spun on itself with finality, his only help now was a walkman bud in one ear wired to Sherman's wireless internal LAN, installed just the other day and prone to failure at the worst possible times. He turned to face the attack elephants, with blue and red warpaint over them. He gulped. Okay, he thought to himself, don't panic, they'll get me out of here if things get rough. He felt the gun at the small of his back, and prayed he'd never have to use it. I'll never reach it in time if they start attacking first. He turned to face the leader, he assumed, with the headdress of what looked like jackass ears, and a cheesy necktie. "Greetings," he said, hoping his voice didn't betray his nervousness. "Greetings of the Party, young one. And what are you providing for the Republisans?" "Err, actually sir, we're just passing through." Dave gulped. The leader's eyes narrowed. "Passing through? Our sacred land when the greatest meeting of the warriors is in progress? Such sacrilege." His elephant trumpeted menacingly. "Err NO.. no, not nothing..." stammered Dave. Inside the tank, Vixen slapped her forehead with the palm of her hand. "If he hands over anything to them, I'll dismember him myself." Think Dave, he chided himself. Ah! "Just a report that there is an attack party headed this way. We're trying to avoid them, ourselves," said Dave, hoping this would work. The leader's eyes brightened considerably. "An attack party? What flag were they flying?" Oh shit, thought Dave. "Err, a burro, I think." "Haha!" roared the leader. "Did you hear this lad! Good hunting awaits us!" as the elephants trumpeted. "More ears for us! Land and slaves await us, ha!" he cried as the pack of elephants stampeded in the direction of the east. Dave blinked as the road suddenly found itself clear. The earbud buzzed. "You can come back down now." ---- Inside the tank, Vixen was nodding. "Very good, newbie." Dave shot her a dirty look and headed off to his room. Vixen shrugged and returned to her command chair. "Let's make tracks, Sherman." "Order acknowledged Commander. However, let me finish this reception." "From whom?" "The Ruroni is sending us a small e-postcard, just to keep in touch." "0h kewl!" cried B1ff as he hopped over to his chair and keyed in the activiation code. "Sug01! I n3v3r nu th3r3 w3r3 4n1mat0rs st1l7 ar0und," as he watched the small Flash movie play itself out on his monitor. "Looks like hiro's work if you ask me. It sucks," groused Vixen. B1ff had already begun to hack into the code, reverse engineering it for a return message. He tapped into his keyboard for a few seconds and then stopped. "H3y s1s, l00k 5tt THIS." he said. Vixen glanced at B1ff's monitor display, in regular English. [Rcvd fr: ruroni.mbl.otklnd.kib0.net (2561.881.919.1f) [Rcvd fr: stampede.otklnd.kib0.net (1989.12g.55d.b6a) [Rcvd fr: libra.otklnd.kib0.net (code deleted) [Rcvd fr: genom.otklnd.kib0.net (code deleted) [Rcvd fr: otklnd.kib0.net (code deleted) [For: sttheta.mbl.otklnd.kib0.net Vixen stared. "Genom's still operational... but that means..." "... the sattelites still up there, and no one's apparently controlling it." ---- to be continued