When days were young, and otaku were real otaku, there was a haven. A safe place, where all otaku could practice all their individual series and character worships. It was a place where art imitated life. Actually, it was the other way around. Life imitated art. The people banded together to protect their home. But, they were weakening. In a simple brick home, a group met, trying to save what was left of animé. "I'm telling you, this thing is dangerous!" hotaru quietly declaimed. "It's necessary hotaru! If we don't send this sattelite up, we may be overwhelmed by the Lord of Wares's attack fleet!" Noboyuki Hiroshima replied heatedly. His wife, Priscilla, ambassador of the K1bo, agreed with him. hotaru was worried, though she didn't show it. She couldn't tell any of her secrets, but she knew she couldn't let another weapon into the sky. "If we must, then keep a guard on it" "Of course, but where should we hide the password for the system?" Curtis, the main designer and engineer for their sattelite, asked. "We'll get to that later, first we have to deal with the current threat. A superweapon, called ROMMEL, has been released upon our allies, the K1bo. They need our help. Anway, after it finishes with the K1bo, it'll come for us." hotaru answered. "We need your help desperately. The K1bo forces are failing, We've blown up its exterior power supply, but it won't stop," replied Priscilla. "That's because it can also run on sunlight, moonlight, and wind," answered Curtis. "How did you find all this out?" asked Noboyuki. "Sore Wa Himitsu Desu," Curtis grinned. Everyone groaned. "anyway," Curtis continued, "that's all we know about it. Besides the fact it's a tank," he finished. "We need a weapon against this ROMMEL. What do you have for us Curt?" hotaru asked. "Well, it was hard trying to make sophisticated nanites out of old car parts, but I did it. It's a virus that will be able to shut ROMMEL down. Not permanently, but until we can get it someplace where there's no moonlight, sunlight, or significant wind. We just need someone to inject it in. " Curtis held up a bow and... what looked like a hospital needle, "whoever goes will just have to aim, and shoot this needle using the bow at ROMMEL, then that person will just have to find a cave or something to seal it in. Some place where it would be hard for the whover made that thing to get to." "I'll go" Noboyuki declared without hesitance. "Good luck, my friend," hotaru told him. "We're counting on you, buddy!" Curtis said to him. Priscilla couldn't say anything. She just looked at him with tears in her eyes. ##### FAQing Hostile SubCultural Mutant Otaku versus the Mundanes Chapter 31 By Shan "insert random phobia here" Lakhmani (FAQing Hostile spawned by Twoflower) ##### Vixen was looking at her status report. "Five out of Seven. Not bad... We need to go to a place that was known as Phoenix," a voice in her head interrupted her "Wai! Sephy-chan!" "What the...! Calm down. I'm probably just tired. I'll go take a nap. HEY B1FF! TAKE OVER FOR ME! All I need is a little sleep." Vixen said to herself. A voice in her head cackled a little. "I did not hear that" ##### "I don't think you should have made him do this," said Agent Doe. "We have to. Remember, it's for the good of the US of A." answered Agent Hancock. He had recovered from the loss of Lily. A little. "It's still creepy," said Agent Doe. "It's a companion template to my own," said Agent Hancock. "It's really embarassing in this outfit," whined Agent Boy. A sudden breeze whiped through the area. With it came a man in a long robe. He had an air of unshakable confidence around him. His name was Mark, and he was of the priests of his Lord of Wares. Foir the next few weeks anyway, due to his Lord's inclination of giving the High Priest, not to be confused with a regular high priest, a bit of a speech impediment. He was to be the High Priest after the one above him was offed. One had to be confident, arrogant, or collapse in a pile of steaming emotional wreckage. He chose the first one. "I believe I have some more information for you... people," informed Mark. "What's that, Dork?" asked Agent Hancock. Agent Doe believed he should not let either of his colleagues speak, due to their current templated selves. He was probably right. "It's MARK!" yelled Mark. "Well, that isn't good information, now is it," replied Agent Hancock. "I really shouldn't have let him speak," thought Agent Doe. "The Otaku are going to a place in the desert known as Phoenix. I suggest you intercept them," said Mark. He turned around and left. "Let's get going men!" said Agent Doe, praying Hancock wouldn't say anything. Someone up there wasn't listening. "First, Agent Boy, say it!" said Agent Hancock. "NO! I will not say it!" replied Agent Boy, heatedly. "I am am your superior, and YOU WILL SAY IT!" bellowed Agent Hancock. "Fine! Nippon-Ichi." ##### "Kami, this is mind numbing" thought Kennishi, driving the Rurouni past the Canadian border. Arashi was in the back sleeping, and hiro was reading. "I seriously wish hiro would say where we had to go next" thought Kennishi. And the tank goes on. ##### Directress Richards was overjoyed. Finally she would destroy that bitch who disfigured her. She would pay. Oh, how she would pay. Jenine had the power to make it painful. She would make it VERY painful. "ROMMEL, detect the probable area where that bitch, Vixen, will go to," said Directress Richards sharply. "processing... at the current trajectory, the otaku forces seem to be going to the northern desert area of this country. cities in selcted area... phoenix." "Okay, YOU! the Extra in navigation. Set the course to Phoenix!" ordered Directress Richards. She looked over at Bill, who was a few feet away from her. Bill just drooled as he played Unreal: Tournament. With ROMMEL's advanced visual abilities, and fast processing speed, Bill was in heaven. And the tank goes on. ##### "Sherman, can I have our section of the FAQ_hostile, please" Dave asked while lying on his cot. "Of course Dave" Sherman said. Out of a slot, Twenty four pages come out. Each one in tiny, meticulous Kanji. "What language is this?" Dave asked. "Japanese, Dave" replied Sherman. "Right, I knew that. Could you get this to me in English please?" asked Dave. "Of course Dave. Processing... Most systems are busy. This process shall take approximately Seventeen hours, Thirty Eight Minutes, and Twelve seconds due to other simultaneous programs running." Dave could almost hear Vixen laughing ##### B1ff sighed. "1'm th3 0nly 0n3 w0rk1ng h3r3, 1t 533m5." Phreakachu went up to him, cranky due to lack of booze. They really needed to stop off for supplies. "H3y Phr34k! Wh4t d0 y0u th1nk 4b0ut g01ng t0 C4l1f0rn14 f1r5t" asked B1ff. "Pi, pi chu ka" answered Phreakachu. "1 dunn0. M4yb3," finnished B1ff. And the tank goes on. ##### Vixen lies on her cot and tries to go to sleep. She chuckles. "Maybe I shouldn't have turned on the geographical locater, the radar, the radio, the unencryption programs, and automatic coffee machine" She chuckles a bit more. She yawned. "I really do need sleep" thought Vixen. "Konnichiwa, Vixen!" the voice in her head said. It was her voice, but it was extremely... giddy. No. It can't be. "I decided you should let me out more often, Vixen-chan! It's dark in here. If you don't let me out..." "Oh no... It has to be her," Vixen said. "Not her, me. I'm you Vixen-chan. We'll be together forever, vanquishing the unjust forces of the icky darkness!" "Why won't you leave me alone!" yelled Vixen at herself. "I'm nothing like you! I destroy, I hate, I wear leather dammit!" "So, you still get a little icked around blood, and you think shoujou thoughts about that kawaii Dave" Vixy replied. "I GET TURNED ON BY MARKSMANSHIP! That's nothing like you!" Vixen said angrily. Vixen could almost hear Dave laughing. "Shimatta! I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure you stay dormant, if not destroyed!" declared to Vixen. "And, I'm not gonna let you do that. You seem tired, Vixen-chan. You need some sleep to battle those meanies who destroyed our home. Nighty-Night!" Vixy ended. Vixen felt herself starting to fall asleep. She tried with ever fiber in her body not to. The last thing she heard before she fell asleep was, "Remember! Let me control our body some. It's only fair." She fell asleep and dreamed kawaii, sugary dreams. She hated every second of it. ##### Morte d'Author (or where I'll probably kill my chapters good points): For those of you who don't get the joke above, you should read more European Literature. So sayeth the French anyway. First I'm sorry. Wait, no I'm not. Well, yeah. Darn. I'm being overly apoligetic. Sorry. No! Never mind. Thanks to everyone at the FAQing Mailing list for giving me help. It was a blast writing this. That and the worst week and a half of my life. I'm definitely gonna sign up again! FH Forever! Everyone join in! WAI! And Poa-san. Yes, it is.