-------------------------------------------------------------
      Do Gooders
      (The Proactive Teen Superhero Team
       With No X Anywhere In Their Title)

      Episode 8:
      Shock!  Secrets, revelations, conversations, and arguments!

      Written by Steven Scougall
      Original Do-Gooders concept by Stefan Gagne, 1998
     -------------------------------------------------------------

Out there is the phenomenon known as the reader who likes to jump into a
story halfway through without reading the preceding bits, and therefore
missing important plot points, character development, and character
introductions, and basically making things hard on themselves.  Exactly
why they do this is unknown.

For their benefit, this is but a chapter in the on-going saga of the
rock band Do-Gooders and their arch nemesis Nemesis Serendipity Villyn,
pronounced "villain" for Villyn is certainly a villain or at the very
least imagines himself to be.  When we last left our heroes they had
just overcome Villyn's latest plot to 'deal' with them.  This plot has
of course gone amusingly wrong, and due to a bizarre series of
circumstances and coincidences, has also ended up involving the CIA, the
MIB, a twenty foot shopaholic blonde-bimbo demon, a horde of Valkyries,
and the two remaining members of a Cthulu sect.

Villyn, much to his chagrin, couldn't be there.  Due to a court order,
he had to attend a group therapy session with his daughter, in an
attempt to improve their relationship, which had become quite strained
because of his ambitions to conquer the world.  Being villainous, he
sees these as a complete waste of time.  He also sees time spent in a
jail cell as an even bigger waste of time and so chooses the path of
lesser evil.  Or from his point of view, the path of lesser good.

However, he has just been tossed out of this latest group therapy
session.  The reasons for this are quite complicated, and involve a
technologically advanced two way radio system small enough to be
embedded in an armoured neckpiece, an exploding ear-piece, and -

Tell you what, it's quite complicated AND this 'where we're up to'
narrative is now covering things that haven't actually happened in the
narrative so far, so I'll show it instead of telling it.  Sound good? 
So here we go...

                 *                 *                 *

"Well, Nemesis.  You have stated that you are disappointed in your
daughter's continuing reluctance to follow in your footsteps."

"Yes!  Her continued defiance frustrates me greatly."

"Aki?  How do you feel about this?"

The teenaged girl rolled her eyes.  "I think that being an evil overlord
is the most ridiculous thing I've heard.  I really don't see why he
bothers."

"AKI!"

"Now, Nemesis, please do not stand and loom over your daughter like
that.  We're supposed to be working out your problems here, not
aggravate them."

"Yes, yes, whatever..."  Grumpily, Villyn sat down.

"Does anyone have any thoughts on this?"

"You do realise this is only a minor obstacle to my overall plan to
enslave the world to my evil power?"

The group convener sighed.  "You've told us many times, Nemesis."  And
the group session continued in its ineffectual way.

Villyn chafed and his impressive suit of armour clanked.  He really
didn't want to be here.  He would prefer to be over at the Tokyo
Legitimate Businessmen's Club, overseeing the dastardly plot to deal
with those annoying Do-Gooders.  But no, thanks to that court order, he
had to be here with Aki, in an attempt to improve their father-daughter
relationship.

When HE was the Evil Overlord of the Entire World, he'd probably disown
her, anyway, for he didn't want any do-gooder heroes marrying into his
family and destroying his totalitarian rule from within.  In all the
literature on Evil Overlording he'd read, that kind of thing happened
far too many times.

He squirmed in the seat that was far too small and his armour clanked
again.  The thin reedy voice of the woman currently complaining about
the evils of her daughter slowed nervously, and halted.

"Nemesis," said the convener, "please stop that rattling.  It distracts
us."  She directed her attention to the woman who had been speaking. 
"Machiko, please continue.  You were telling us about your daughter?"

The woman continued complaining, but Villyn tuned her voice out to a
mere background whine.

He'd been expecting a call from the Businessmen's Club for the past ten
minutes now.  Just WHAT was taking them so long?  Perhaps he should
check in on them instead.

Most people would consider this impossible, seeing as Villyn wasn't
allowed to leave the room, there were no telephones present, and even if
there were he wouldn't be allowed to use it anyway and instead be asked
his thoughts on Aki's use of the telephone.  It's actually quite simple,
for with this exact sort of situation in mind an expensive and
technologically impressive two-way communication system had been built
into the neckpiece of his armour.

His armour featured several improvements of this nature, not least of
which was the integrated tape deck, which was just the thing for boring
situations such as group.  Unfortunately he'd left all his music at home
and the therapist would complain if she saw him putting a music cassette
into his armour.  Perhaps he could devise some sort of jukebox system
hidden inside his armour that he could operate from the neckpiece.  It
was something he'd keep in mind for future upgrades.

Under the guise of thoughtfully scratching his mustache, he lifted his
hand up and used his little finger to press a few buttons on the inside
of the armour's neckpiece.  The sequence he had tapped out would call
his most trusted contact inside the Legitimate Businessmen's Club. 
Then, pretending to scratch his neck under his helmet, he pressed the
'connect' button.

It was a pity he hadn't adjusted the volume control.

The audio pickup screeched a high-pitched mechanical whine into his ear
with the force of a hundred and twenty decibels, then exploded with the
strain.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHH!"

"Nemesis!  Don't scream like that!  Nemesis?  Are you even listening to
me!?"

Villyn wasn't.  When you are lying unconscious on the floor amidst the
wreckage of a chair you're usually in no position to listen to boring
therapists.

For disrupting the group, the convener imparted the full punishment,
which was tossing his unconscious body outside the door, allowing Aki to
complain bitterly about him for ten minutes, and refusing him entry when
he woke up.  This suited Villyn just fine.

                 *                 *                 *

After beating off the various threats, the Do-Gooders, Amy Anderson of
the CIA, V of the MIB, and Becky of nothing in particular were sitting
by the stage, recuperating, and talking.  They were all trying to find
out about the others and failing miserably because of all the secrets
everybody had and didn't want to share.  So it was during an
uncomfortable silence after one of Mrs. Anderson's questions ("Dear,
that's a remarkably short skirt you're wearing, aren't you cold?") when
from amongst the dead gangsters a very loud scream pierced the air.

The echoes of the scream died out.

"What the hell was THAT?" shouted V.

"Didn't it sound a bit like that armoured nutcase?" asked Matsuro.

"Now that you mention it, yeah," replied Tejina.

"Who?" asked Mrs. Anderson.

"He's this guy in armour that trashed our first gig," replied Tejina. 
"And his daughter told us he was going to trash this one, too.  I guess
he was calling in to find out how things went.  But why'd he scream?"

"Most likely he forgot to adjust the volume control on his end.  He
always makes that mistake," came a new voice.

The six whirled to face this new voice.  Its owner was a trim middle
aged man, wearing an expensive suit, even more expensive sunglasses, and
pointing an expensive and quite dangerous looking gun at them.  Behind
him was a small army of similarly dressed men, each pointing at least
one piece of military hardware at the small group by the stage.

"Make one wrong move and my men will shoot you," said the man
pleasantly.  "I am Maeda, now the leader of this organisation and
organiser of this event.  All Villyn really wanted us to do was to
violently defenestrate you, but having seen your abilities and you
having found out about this organisation, I feel more like shooting you
dead where you are."

V snarled and lifted his gun to point at the businessmen.  Before he
could fire, though, there was the sound of gunfire, V's gun jolted from
his hands, and he screamed as a round went through his upper arm.

"DAD!"

Becky whirled to glare at the army of not-so-legitimate-after-all
businessmen, murder in her eyes.  At the sight of several dozen guns
tracking her, she swallowed nervously and wisely did nothing.

"That was rather rash.  Do it again and my men will shoot to kill," said
Maeda.  "Now please, no more unpleasantness."

"You're going to shoot us anyway," said Matsuro.  "That's rather
unpleasant."

"Well, yes," admitted Maeda.  "But I'd rather things not get any more
unpleasant than they have to, and I do so like to talk.  Especially to
genuine threats."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Villyn," said Maeda, "could find an obstacle to the conquering of the
world in a cereal packet that's hard to open, and has done so several
times.  So it's quite interesting when he identifies a genuine threat
such as yourselves."  His watch beeped and he looked at it in
consternation.  "Oh dear, I have a golf appointment with the Minister of
Finance in ten minutes.  Unfortunately I won't be able to talk to you
after all.  A shame.  Men, you may fire."

Gunfire filled the air.

                 *                 *                 *

By the stage, there was a short, brief, moment of extreme panicked
confusion, and then nothing at all.

                 *                 *                 *

The smoke and debris cleared eventually.  The entire stage was riddled
with bullet holes and woodchips were everywhere, the curtains were mere
tatters hanging by their threads, and the musical instruments were now
just very expensive junk.  As the men watched, a curtain pulled free
from the two threads that hadn't been enough to hold it and fell with a
thump, raising a cloud of dust and wood splinters.  Shortly after that,
a set of cymbals, the only musical instrument still intact, teetered
over with a slow, ponderous movement and landed with a loud crash.

But there was a notable absence of blood or bodies.

                 *                 *                 *

It was a drab grey place, that looked like it was a hemisphere twenty
metres across, with a notable lack of exits.  But in its favour it
wasn't getting shot at by a stupidly huge number of guns.

"Where... is THIS?" asked Amy Anderson.

"I hope a hospital is nearby," quipped V.  His wife hit him.  Mindful of
his injury, she hit him on his other arm.  It still hurt.

Amy Anderson whirled to face her daughter.  "Rebecca Anderson, I demand
you... tell... us..." She trailed off, quite unable to believe what she
was seeing.

"Mum?  Why are you staring like that?"

There was a rather lengthy pause.  It was finally broken as Tejina found
her voice, incredulous as it was, and managed to say "BECKY?"

"What!?"

"Becky, you're so... different!"

"Rebecca Anderson, how can you LIVE with yourself looking like that?"

V raised his uninjured hand and gave his daughter a thumbs up sign. 
"Looking good, Beck.  You could probably tone it down a bit, though."

"Tej, Mum, Dad...  Just what are you talking about?"

Matsuro looked the gaijin girl up and down, specifically at her clothing
and the fashion disaster it had become.  "If what had happened hadn't
just happened and I just saw you on the street, I'd call you a raving
otaku, you know that?"

"Why, thanks!"

Tejina broke in.  "Becky, what I think he's trying to say is that a
too-small Sailor Senshi outfit, elaborate facial tattoo, orange and
black bandana, scepter, gun and two-tone hair don't match.  I'm amazed I
can recognise you looking like that."

Kireiko looked at certain parts of her outfit.  "You're bigger, too." 
He looked over her again.  "And in all the right places," he added with
a demonic leer.

Becky blushed, and then, her facial colour remaining the same behind the
elaborate tattoo, got very very angry indeed.  For a moment, Kireiko
cursed his half-demon form and its demonic tendencies, and then found
himself flat on the ground with his entire body complaining about the
pain, with no clear memory of what had happened.

Tejina glared at her dazed bandmate, and cleared her throat. 
"Anywaaaayys...  Why are you looking like that?  And what happened? 
Last I remember we were getting shot at."

The gaijin girl frowned.  "I can't quite remember what happened."

Her mother cleared her throat.  "Well, the important thing is that we're
safe and away.  What I want to know now is where we are."

An extremely elaborately decorated door chose this moment to appear out
of nowhere.  There were gargoyles above the frame and precious gemstones
dotted around it, and it was painted in bold vermilion and edged with
gold.  There was a blank and extremely shiny brass plate on the door,
which appeared to be made of the kind of old oak that is harder than
stone.

It would have been a very imposing door if it hadn't also been about
half a meter high.

The door opened with an impressive drawn-out creak, and Daisy wandered
through it, looked at the six, and burped.  "Oh, i'sh yoush guysh. 
Shouldn't be shurprished.  Wha'sh y'all doin' here in thish pocket
dimensh'n?  I thought you wash all shupposhed to be givin' your
concshert."

Becky and her parents stared.

Daisy stared back at Becky's parents and said "...oopsh.  There are
othersh here?  Er... Meow.  Purr.  Purr."

"A... talking cat?"

"Curshesh, I've been found out."

"Better than a talking alien," quipped V.  "I hate those."

"Rebecca, I DEMAND you tell me what's going on, RIGHT NOW!"

"I don't know myself either!  Fifteen minutes ago I was perfectly
normal!  Now I'm a super secret agent magical girl and a cat is talking
to me!  It's going to tell me it's my pet next!"

"Ackshually, Shailor Rapture," started Daisy, "I'm her magical pet, not
yoursh."

"You mean I DO have a magical pet?"

A rough voice shouted at her as its owner appeared at the door.

"Sailor Rapture, I am affronted!  Can you not remember me?  Me? 
Myself?  I?  Your faithful and trusty servant from lives past?"

Everyone stared at this new arrival.

"That's... a talking dog."

"What did you THINK I'd be?  A talking goldfish?  As IF!"

"Great", muttered Matsuro, "all we need now is a talking mouse."

"Ackshually..." started Daisy.

"Leave it, moggy," said Matsuro.

"That's quite enough," said Mrs. Anderson briskly.  "I suggest we move
on and discuss these matters at some later time."

"Yeah," said V, "and it's time we got me to a hospital."

"Dear, stop thinking of yourself just for once, please."

                 *                 *                 *

As soon as the subject of going through the doorway came up, and people
realised that they'd have to crawl through it, or at the very least bend
right over while walking through, a small scale war erupted.  There were
deliberations.  There were arguments.  There were counter arguments. 
There were counter-counter arguments.  There were even heated insults. 
There was a lot of Rover's criticising and his comments about how stupid
humans could be.  Eventually Tejina and Becky forced the men to go
through the small doorway first.

What lay on the other side of the door was Tejina's basement, which had
become a meeting place of sorts for the band.  The eight settled down
for a nice little chat about recent developments.

"So I'm a super secret agent?" started Becky.

"Yes, dear."

"AND a magical girl?" she continued.

"Yes, you stupid brat."

"Don't talk to my daughter like that, flea bitten mutt."

"You can shut up, you silly suited idiot."  Rover turned his attention
to Becky.  "You're Sailor Rapture.  You're a reincarnation of an old
princess, and you're probably going to end up saving the world a couple
of times.  And the old princess Ivrysse and all her reincarnations so
far have had much better fashion sense than YOU."

"And I've got a sarcastic, condescending and extremely annoying talking
dog as a pet/advisor type thing."

"It could be worse," said Tejina in consolation, "you could have an
alcoholic mangy cat with an extended family hidden around the house."

Daisy turned up her nose as well as a drunk cat can.  "Hmmph."

"But the dog's right about your costume, Becky-chan."

"Will everyone shut up about the stupid costume?  I didn't TRY to make
it.  It just showed up!  In the middle of everything!  While I was
trying to run away from some guns!  I didn't have a chance to think
about what a uniform should be if it suddenly appeared from nowhere! 
That sort of thing doesn't normally happen!  Put yourself in my shoes! 
You guys already had YOUR costumes.  I didn't even know I was due one! 
I mean, REALLY!"

The band and the animals stood cowering by the wall furthest from the
ranting foreigner.  Once she'd wound down, they all nodded and said "Yes
Becky" as docilely as possible.  Her parents, much more used to their
daughter's tantrums, merely sighed in irritation.

                 *                 *                 *

Becky was having a hard time living with herself.  On the one hand she
was a magical girl, a reincarnation of an ancient princess and was
destined to save the world.  To her mind, this was very anime-ish and
Japanese.  She was also a super secret agent, and the secret agent
training and conditioning was yelling at her that anime, and as a
result, anime-ish magical girls, were distinctly un-American and should
be 'dealt' with.

In other words, she was her own worst enemy and had the constant urge to
assassinate herself.  This was giving her very bad headaches.

Which had, in a rather circuitous manner, led to her standing out in the
hallway at school, holding buckets.  Thankfully Tejina was out in the
hallway too so she had someone to talk to.

"So Tej, what're you out here for?"

"Lateness," said Tejina, and yawned.  "I wasn't planning for that chat
session to last until two in the morning."

"All I can say to that is thank God for Jolt Cola."

"You weren't late?"

"Nah."

"So what are you out here for?"

"Tamura-sensei asked me a question and I had a very bad headache and
wasn't concentrating.  You know what he's like when someone answers
"huh?" to one of his questions."

"Yeah...  Wait up, you have a bad headache?"

"Yeah.  It's the... er..." Becky looked around nervously, making sure
nobody was around to listen in on them, and lowered her voice anyway. 
"The secret agent tendencies conflict with the magical girl tendencies,
and are telling me I'm my own worst enemy and I should assassinate
myself.  The magical girl tendencies perceive this as a great threat and
make me want to make me forget that I'm a magical girl.  All this adds
up to great mental conflict and very big headaches.  And I can't
concentrate.  Especially when Tamura-sensei is teaching English.  I
mean, he's so boring and I can speak English anyway."

"Wow.  What are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know if there's anything I CAN do about it, Tej.  But I really
hope there is.  I thought this was all so cool last night, but this is
altogether too much."

"What about the secret agent stuff?"

"I asked Mum and Dad after we left your place this morning.  Neither of
them want to talk about it, but I managed to get them to talk a little
about it.  Apparently they think it was all a mistake but their chiefs
forced them into using me as a guinea pig."

"They did make you forget about it until yesterday.  Maybe they can make
you forget about it again."

"I suggested that.  They didn't answer, they just looked uncomfortable,
and Dad adjusted his tie.  He always does that when he's nervous and
can't think of anything to say."

"They can't?"

"They'd better be able to, otherwise I'm going to go crazy."

There was a pause, during which the two girls thought about life and
recent developments.

"Say, Tej?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you going to do with the band now?  Because those guys at the
club yesterday, now that they know you know about them, will probably be
after you now."

"I dunno," sighed Tejina.  "I don't want us to disband."

"You can always call yourself something else, get a new angle.  After
all, it's been this superhero angle that's caused all this trouble."

"Which I seem to remember you suggested."

A large sweatdrop formed on the back of Becky's head.  "Uh...  yeah, I
did...  Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"You know, I've been thinking...  The Legitimate Businessman's Club is
just a front for crime gangs, and as superhero 'do-gooders' and secret
agents we should bring them to justice, right?  Shouldn't we?"  Tejina
looked worried.  "SHOULD we?"

"Tej, that's your magical girl thinking talking."

"But if we don't do something about them, they'll do something about
us..."

"You have a point."

                 *                 *                 *

Keiko sat in the middle of history class and stewed in her anger.

The demon she'd summoned had been absolutely pathetic and ineffectual
and her plans to bring the city to her heel had been crushed.  All
thanks to those 'Do-Gooders'.

The thought that she had gone about things the wrong way flittered
through her mind.  Angry and confused, she asked it just what she was
supposed to do instead.  The reply came back that summoning a demon to
do her dirty work, after she had seen what the demons in Hell were like,
was a rather silly idea.  Why didn't she, the thought continued, do the
dirty work herself?  After all, there was a spell or five in that book
that gave the caster unimaginable evil powers.  And once she'd done
that, she could go deal with those annoying Do-Gooders and get them out
of the way.

Forgetting where she was, Keiko smiled nastily, and then broke out into
maniacal laughter.  "AHA!  AHAhaHA!  HaHAAAhahaHaHAhahaAHA!"

"Yamanaka Keiko!  Do NOT laugh and smile like that in class!"

"Sorry sensei!"

"Now perhaps you'd like to tell me a bit about the Jomon period."

Like hell she would.  But she didn't particularly like standing in the
hallway holding buckets, so she answered as best she could, which wasn't
very well.  But at least she was spared the hallway.

                 *                 *                 *

It was lunchtime and the Do-Gooders and their one and so far only roadie
were meeting to discuss administrative matters.  Top of the list was if
they were going to continue under the 'Do-Gooders' name.

"If we're going to change the band name," said Kireiko, "I still think
'Horse Fucker Gigantic' is a good name."

Tejina couldn't understand the English words Kireiko had just said very
well.  "You keep on saying that, but what does it MEAN?"

Becky translated for her and Tejina's mouth made a small 'o'.

"Oh, is that what it means?" asked Kireiko.

"Yes Kireiko," said Becky.  "Didn't you know?"

"I just thought they were good words."

Tejina found her voice.  "Absolutely NOT, Kireiko.  They're AWFUL
words.  It's an AWFUL name.  Never in a million years.  Think of
something else."

"So how about 'Giant Greatness Gold'?  Those are good words.  It's gotta
be a good name."

Becky broke down in laughter.

"Somehow I think it isn't," said Matsuro.  "How about something in
Japanese instead?"

"Nah," responded Kireiko, "English is cool."

"Even when you can't speak it, I see," said Matsuro.

"Why you..."

"I'm not the one suggesting stupid names."

"Yeah?  *I* play the guitar.  Which is a lot harder than just hitting
drums."

"You can't play the guitar at all, sissy-boy.  Nobody likes your guitar
solos."

"Personal comments, now, huh?"

"Uh... guys... like, cut it out," said Tejina.

Neither of the arguing teens noticed her.  A day of blind lust, anger,
jealousy and rivalry over Tejina had come to a sizzling, boiling,
point.  Stopping them now would require at the very least a nuclear
strike.

"*I* don't have to wear ofuda all the time."

"I can wear them and still kick your ass, drummer boy."

"Guys..."

"You wish.  AND I've got a sword you could never hope to match."

"It's not yours, though, is it?"

"Guys!"

They both whirled on Tejina, Matsuro beating Kireiko to yelling "You
stay out of this!"  Kireiko, even though he had been just a hair short
of yelling the same thing, saw this as a chance to belittle his rival in
front of his intended.

"You gonna talk to her like that?  Huh?  HUH?"

Matsuro was abashed.  "Sorry, Tejina, didn't mean to snap at you like
that...  It's this... JERK I'm angry at."

"So I'm a jerk now, huh?"

"YES!"

Tejina sighed, and walked away from the two, and Becky followed.  With
their escalating argument, the two didn't even notice.

"Idiots, the two of them," she muttered.

"Gee, you think you know someone and then something like that happens,"
said Becky.  A thought struck her.  "If they can't get along, then I can
join the band in their place?"

Tejina winced.  Becky was as musical as a pack of dogs chasing a pack of
cats into an echo canyon.  She'd better think of an excuse fast.

                 *                 *                 *

In a set of dimensions much closer to the normal set of dimensions than
people realise, there is the Darkverse.  It is home to fairly
unimaginative horrors, and a drab queen who would like to be evil but
would be better described as mundane.

The place should probably be called the Drabverse instead.

In the manner of such named universes, the queen wants to take over
Earth.  If asked why she would meander on about such silly things as the
power of souls, the sugar energy of sleeping children, and just how much
better it all is than trying to tap the Darkverse's meagre sun's solar
energy, but she'd be lying through her nose.  Mostly.  To tell the
truth, all her predecessors had wanted to take over Earth and she didn't
have enough imagination to do anything different.

Now take a look at the denizens of the Darkverse.  Most of them are very
human-like.  So human-like, in fact, you'd wonder if Earth and the
Darkverse didn't once have some common ancestry.  Which could lead to
some very interesting questions.  However, there questions are forgotten
upon seeing those denizens of the Darkverse that are monstrous.

In the typical unimaginative Darkverse fashion, these monsters are
run-of-the-mill drab youma.  They DO have tentacles, bug-eyes, slavering
tongues and big teeth, but all pieced together as if their creator had
something better to do at the time.  They are, however, effective, which
was all that mattered to the Darkverse queen.

Not that there had been much call for the things lately, though.  Her
brilliant Supreme General had, a few years ago, come up with a much
different plan than the usual 'send lots of monsters to Earth and tap
the people's fear' idea.  She hadn't quite understood his plan but it
had involved a youma of his own creation.

This youma had been... different.  Instead of the typical hulking
tentacled monstrosity, this one looked like a large purple reptile with
a terminally happy expression on its face.  She'd laughed at her Supreme
General and threatened him with execution for wasting her time, as evil
queens are wont to do.  With just a five minute demonstration, however,
he had convinced her of the youma's absolute evilness.  Even now, years
later, she couldn't get the creature's hideous song out of her head.

He'd unleashed the youma upon an unsuspecting Earth, and since then the
amount of energy siphoned from Earth had skyrocketed.

It did mean, however, that there was a lot of sitting around looking at
charts and listening to interminable reports.  Which got boring and
certainly wasn't a patch on the style of old.  True, the style of old
hadn't worked very well but it had been much more fun.

There came her Supreme General, now, striding towards her throne.  No
doubt with more charts and those 'projections' of his.  She sighed and
steeled herself for another hour-long session.

Hang on, she thought, I AM the Queen, after all, I don't have to listen
to his boring monologues if I don't want to...

"My Queen," he said, his voice oozing his incredible charisma.

"Shove off, Esjie," she responded.

"There has been," he started, and then his brain caught up with his
ears.  "I'm sorry, my Queen?"

"I told you, Esjie, to shove off."

"But, my Queen, why?  How have I displeased you?"

"Do you not bring me endless charts and projections and reports?"

"Actually, my Queen, not this time.  I bring just one report.  One of
grave import."

This perked her interest.  There hadn't been a report of grave import
for at least a decade.  "Alright, report."

"Another of your ancient enemies, the Rapturous Sailor, has arisen. 
More pressing, my Queen, is that she has made contact with the
Delightful Sailor, and both have their advisors of old."

"I thought we weren't going to worry about them, Esjie.  That this plan
of yours didn't require us to destroy them."

"That was true then, my Queen.  However, back then there was only the
Sailor of Delight, and she did not even have her advisor.  Now, not only
does she have her ally the Sailor of Rapture, they both have their
advisors.  It is these advisors that could be our problem, my Queen,
they could convince the Sailors to resume their old vendetta against the
Darkverse."

"So?  Just kill the advisors then.  Are they not just animals?"

"They may be just animals, my Queen, but killing them would surely raise
the attention of the Sailors.  And then they would investigate, and
possibly discover us."

"I see."  Too true she did.  She was getting a headache trying to think
about this latest development, and was starting to remember why the
style of old wasn't so good after all.  "I trust you have already
formulated a plan or two."

"Indeed I have, my Queen."

"Then see to it, Esjie, and keep me updated."

"Yes, my Queen."

The Darkverse Supreme General Esjie turned and walked from the Darkverse
throne room.  Perhaps it was just the way the light caught his face, but
he was the spitting image of Yoi Maeda, the leader of the Tokyo
Legitimate Businessman's Club.

Then again, perhaps it wasn't.

                 *                 *                 *

(To be continued, but not by me.)

SO WHAT LIES IN STORE FOR OUR VALIANT HEROES NOW?  WILL MATSURO AND
KIREIKO REALLY END UP KILLING EACH OTHER OVER TEJINA?  WILL BECKY GO MAD
WITH SCHIZOPHRENIA?  IS THERE *REALLY* A TALKING GOLDFISH?  AND WHAT OF
ALL THE (MOSTLY SELF-PROCLAIMED) ENEMIES OF THE DO-GOODERS?  WILL THE
DO-GOODERS EVER PLAY AS THE DO-GOODERS AGAIN?  ARE THINGS COMPLICATED
ENOUGH YET?  BUT PERHAPS MOST IMPORTANTLY, IF THE DO-GOODERS *DO* CHANGE
THEIR NAME, WILL THE TITLE OF THIS SERIES CHANGE TO [CENSORED DUE TO
EXTREME VULGARITY]?

It's all up to you, Johnathon Streith.

-- 
Steven Scougall
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/7196/