RECAP: A lot has happened since part one, but I won't bore you with that. What is relevant is this: After the death of the bishounen vengeance-monger ARISU at the hands of MATSURO, the FAKE APOCALYPSE has been called off, and after a bit of soul-searching, at least two of the sides of the Great Conflict (the SEALS and the HARBRINGERS) have decided to disband, or at least step down their activities, until they can figure out when the actual REAL APOCALYPSE will be; the DO-GOODERS get a chance to play at a concert (hosted by the Seals, but most of them are strangely absent), but it gets interrupted (as per standard, just like the flyers say) by an army of HELLO CTHULHU led by the Cthonic entity formerly known as Prince, I mean BROTHER MAYNARD, who's hunting for half-onis and has apparently struck a deal with VILLYN, although what said deal included beyond protecting AKI (apparently) hasn't been revealed, and at that very same time, Villyn was enjoying coffee with his beloved CHARITY and reveling in his transition from heel to face (oops, too much Ultra, I believe...); meanwhile, the slimy forces of Cthulhu managed to hypnotize the Do-Gooders and their not-really-allies the DRAGON CHILDE, snatch the half-oni of their desire, also known as KIREIKO (but you should already know that) from right under the good guys' noses and drag him off to their sewer lair to prepare the unfortunate boy for a combined Cthulhu possession and shotgun wedding (with the famous actress JODI FOSTER as the bride), but were thwarted by a double attack from the forces of SHUBBY-CHAN'S HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY FUN CLUB and THE DARKVERSE SAILORS who interrupted the ritual at the last second (OR WAS IT?!?), and right as the madness reached its climax, the Do-Gooders and their fellow color-coordinated musicians burst in and dragged Kireiko off home, leaving the fighting and mayhem behind, and Jodi longing to go back to Hollywood. And so the action ended for the moment, which means that the run-on sentence must end at 316 words, a new record! And my first one ever, too. Wait, LC managed more than 360 in her omake... natch. BARON STAGNER VON CARLLSON made his pilgrimage to his home dimension, where we learned one of his greatest secrets and the goal of his actions in a scene better read than recapped. Go read it again, you know you want to. Kireiko returned home, took off his shirt and promptly sprouted more tentacles than usual, and started tAlkIng lIkE thIs. His parents returned home and found out, and obviously were not pleased. Jodi Foster left the Cthulhu cult after deciding that their actions were a wee bit too suspicious (being propositioned by His Eminence didn't help, either). Meanwhile AYAME found a sign announcing the opening of a 'speech & exposition' club, kindling the girl's interest in an obvious fashion. However when she arrived, it turned out to be a trap, and Ayame was standing face to face with SPIKE the vampire. Sensing the powers of Baron Stagner von Carrlson on him, Ayame managed to use a magical queen trick to summon her sailors, as well as everyone else involved with the Crystal Kingdom, including the advisor animals, KOJI, ZATHRAS and MASTER CHIANG. After comparing notes, Chiang revealed his latest interpretation of the Prophecy, and then left with Zathras and Koji. Which is where we come in... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do-Gooders The Capeless, Yet Extremely Cool Teen Superhero Team With Cthulhu Somewhere In Their Title A FanArt HQ / Spoof Chase Improfanfic http://www.improfanfic.com/ Episode Forty-eight: Revelations! What's going on at the sidelines? by Jonatan Streith (a99jonst@student.his.se) Original story concept by Stefan Gagne Any similarities with any math teachers, living, dead, or otherwise, is purely accidental. Bill Gates was not harmed in the production of this fanfic, unfortunately. WARNING: Big Brother is watching you. FURTHER WARNING: This part contains long monologues of Maynard-speech. Inexperienced readers may face difficulties. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The group of teenagers and their respective animals stood in silence, uncertain of what to do next. "So... what next?" Yukiko said. Tejina frowned a bit. "Ayame just said. Keep an eye open for weird stuff, like we always do. We should try to find out more about this von Stagner--" "Baron Stagner von Carllson of the Kingdom of Obscurity," Ayame corrected. "Yes, yes. We should find out more about him," Tejina continued. "And this vampire guy... if Ayame-- Keiko?!" Keiko looked up from the pile of vampire dust, which she had been carefully sweeping into a neat pile with a small brush, and put in a bottle. "Yes, Tejina?" "What on earth are you doing?!" The pseudo-satanic girl brushed the last of the dust into the bottle, corked it, and stood up. "I'm gathering some spell ingredients, why do you ask?" Tejina got a sour expression. "Have you any idea how dangerous that guy is? He nearly got Ayame! I DON'T want to have him coming after us." Keiko made a face. "No way. I've faced him before. He's a pushover!" This made quite a sensation. "You've faced him before?!" Tejina asked. "And you didn't tell us?!" Keiko took a step back. "You never asked... besides, since when did I have to share everything with you guys? Don't you have any sense of privacy?" "Not when it comes to vampires out for our blood, no," Tejina said. "Now can you let go of the bottle?" "No. Nu-uh. No way," Keiko said. "Not for anything in the world..." Matsuro spoke up. "Keiko, give me that bottle, please." "N--" Keiko began, before she caught the look of her angstful boyfriend. She got the feeling she might be taking this too far. Sure, it was okay to tease Tejina a bit, but she really acted serious this time. But why did they worry so much? She wasn't going to spill any drops of blood on the ash, although now that she thought about it, it would be kinda interesting... Spell formulas, each cooler and more impressive than the other, and all requiring vampire ash, drifted through her mind as she weighed her options. Then she landed her eyes on Matsuro and reached a decision. "You guys are no fun, you know that?" She held out the bottle to Matsuro, who took it. Then she glomped him. She wanted some sort of reward, at least. Matsuro showed little reaction as he put away the bottle. "Now, what about that prophecy?" "Grandpa Chiang said--" Ayame began, but was interrupted again, but this time not by Tejina. "Look, can we go someplace warmer to talk?" Yukiko asked, shivering in the t-shirt and sweat pants she was wearing after she had detransformed. Obviously, the yellow-haired girl hadn't been dressed for outdoors weather when she had been summoned. "It's kinda cold here." Kireiko leered. "I can see that, 'cos, your--OOF!" Hanaki placed her elbow firmly in his solar plexus, efficiently cutting off his remark. And his source of air. "Point taken," Aki said (she was responding to Yukiko, not Kireiko. Really.) "Let's go somewhere warmer, like Tejina's house." Tejina frowned. "Why MY house?" Aki smiled. "I doubt my dad would be happy to see his sworn enemies stopping by for tea." Tejina rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah... my house it is, then." She noticed that Becky had been quiet a rather long time. Well, so had Matsuro, but he didn't count. "Hey Becky, what's wrong? You're zoning out on us." "There's something special about Koji," Becky stated. "Wasn't that an American movie?" Kireiko said. Everyone shot him a 'you're weird' look, even Matsuro. Truly a sign of the Apocalypse. "Well, it was!" "Ooh..." Tejina taunted. "So you're getting a boyfriend at last?" Becky rolled her eyes and lightly backhanded her friend. "Let's go already." * * * Master Chiang strode into the cafe, followed by a befuddled Koji and a furry Zathras. Besides being furry, a natural state of mind and body for Zathras, the Crystal City engineer bore a somewhat stern expression that didn't suit him very much. Fortunately for everyone involved, he had dropped off his accordion at the Villyn Manor on the way there. The unlikely trio took positions around the table, Zathras and Chiang sitting opposite Koji. The boy had an expression not unlike that of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. "I'd--" Koji began. "No, boy," Chiang interrupted. "First we order, then we talk." He waved one of the waiters over. "I'd like to..." He looked down at the diminutive waiter. "You're still here, B'pko? I would have thought that you returned home." The pygmy waiter shook his head and replied in slightly broken Japanese, "No. Me and V'k'hu!cx find job here at cafe, good job. Taller people odd, but nice. Island home overpopulated, and has bad satellite reception." "That's very brave of you, I must say. And your Japanese is getting better very quickly. Ah, we'd like to order..." "Yes, yes." The waiter took out a notepad. "You pay beforehand, please?" Chiang frowned, but decided to not make an issue of it. "Very well. I'd like a cup of Earl Grey tea." He looked inquisitively at his companions. "Zathras would want coffee, with sugar and cream," Zathras said. "Um, I'll have a coke," Koji blurted out, trying not to stare at the pygmy. The pygmy nodded and handed Chiang the tab for the drinks. Receiving the money, he wandered off, and returned a few minutes later with the drinks. Master Chiang took a sip from his cup. "Aaah. Now, young man, I believe you had some questions..." Koji certainly did, and being ignored hadn't exactly helped his sunny disposition. "Yeah! For starters, what's going on? What's happening?" "A good question," Chiang mused. "But, I fear, a bit difficult to answer. A lot of things are happening in the world at this very moment. If we're going to go over every single one, we'll be here all night." Koji glowered as much as he was capable of. "Look here, old man..." "Chiang will do just fine. Master Chiang if you want to be detailed, but Chiang is good as well." "Okay, okay. Chiang. But who ARE you two?" He turned to Zathras. "And WHAT are you?" Zathras shook his head. "Zathras thinks you don't remember him, Eidon." "Eidon..." Koji scratched his head, as some people are wont to do when they are reminded of a past life they just can't remember. "That's... I remember that name... it was before... before..." "Look inside yourself, boy," Chiang said. Koji looked inside himself. And REMEMBERED. He lifted his head. "The fall of the Crystal City." * * * One fateful night, several millenia ago... Eidon sighed silently, trying not to be heard. Why had he agreed to do this. He hardly knew Sailor Darkness, and Grand Duke Midnight... well, they HAD met several times, and they've had conversations during Midnight's stay in the palace, but he had never gotten to KNOW the man. Hardly Eidon's fault; Midnight made brick walls seem talkative most of the time. Besides, both were members of the DarkVerse royal family, and the alliance was shaky these days. Should he really be doing this? Eidon shook his head; he had asked himself that question ever since Darkness and Midnight had approached him, and knew the answer already. He knew the tell-tale signs of desperate love; he was quite familiar with them, from personal experience (sadly, the girl he pined for would never know of his love, unless he magically managed to grow a spine and actually told her). He had caved in immediately, promising to help. The royal family would be distraught when they found out that Duke Midnight WOULDN'T marry Princess Annikki, but... He paused with the lockpicking (the lock was made from dead iron and thus was impossible to touch with magic, but Eidon preferred to use his tools anyway) and thought for a moment. A lot of people were going to be unhappy, certainly. Not Annikki, of course; she hadn't been happy at all about the prospect of getting married. It probably limited her choices; the Royal Princess'... habits were well known. Eidon blushed deep red and forced the uninvited thought out of his head. It was not in his place to concern himself with the antics of the royal family. No matter how many times the Queen had gone swimming in the moat without any... Eidon screwed his eyes shut. Cold showers! Icebergs! Trees! Yes, trees were good. Nothing alluring there. Hopefully. Better yet, concentrate on the task ahead. Finally the lock opened with a faint click (that seemed to echo throughout the castle, according to Eidon) and the door could be opened. He opened the door, slid inside like a shadow, closed the door as carefully as possible, and breathed deeply in relief. The room before him was devoid of other people, but it was anything but empty. The walls were lined with consoles and machinery, strange gauges, colorful lights, screens showing scenes of various locations in the Crystal Kingdom, and something that went 'ping!' every now and then. The systems were ancient relics from millenia ago, based not on magic but technology too advanced for their understanding. The only ones who knew how to fully operate the machinery were Master Chiang and Zathras - another mystery the furry engineer held - but everyone knew that it kept the castle's defensive shields up, and that was all that most needed to know. The general consensus was that the less the general populace knew about it, the less chance someone tried to tamper with it. Which was what Eidon was here for, of course. Fortunately he was Master Chiang's apprentice, and had thus been taught about systems like the one before him (Chiang had of course not shown Eidon how to operate the defense system, but one system is almost the same as another, right?); he also had a strange knack for understanding these things, which was how he had become Master Chiang's apprentice in the first place. First things first; let his partners in crime know what he was doing. He reached into a pocket and took out what appeared to be a irregular crystal with a rather boring blue color, and tapped it carefully; it immediately started glowing with a soft blue light. Eidon offered a quick prayer to whatever supernatural being that was watching over him that no one would detect the Callstone. At least not until he was done. "Are you proceeding?" the gruff, bored voice of Duke Midnight said. "I'm in the controlroom," Eidon answered. "I'll soon be able to raise the shields. I'll let you know when I'm done. Be ready." "Good." Silence. As usual. Eidon put away the stone and turned his attention to the controls. Yup, they're controls, he mused. Let's see now... is there a lever labeled 'lower shields' somewhere? No. A button labeled 'push to free eloping couple'? No. Guess we'll have to do this the hard way, then... The next minutes passed in a blur. Eidon typed away on the ancient 'key-boards' with near-sonic speeds, browsing through controls, changing settings and altering programs. Half the time he didn't even know what he was doing, but that didn't matter. Intuition had to fill the gaps in his knowledge, as long as he just got the task done. Finally, after what seemed like ages but in reality was just a few minutes, one of the screens lit up with the words 'SHIELDS DOWN'. Eidon activated the Callstone again. "Okay, the shields are down now." "Good," came Midnight's voice from the stone. A few moments later, he added, "Thank you, Eidon." For a few seconds there were just sounds of hoofbeating. Then the crystal shattered; apparently Midnight had thrown away the one he carried. Eidon put the shards in his pocket so as not to leave incriminating evidence. Now he'd just have to restore everything to normal before... "Duke Midnight has escaped! Gather the troops!" A voice bellowed in the distance. Okay, they've found out already. Still, he had a lot of time until someone noticed the shields were down. He pushed the buttons, resetting the changes he had made. There, that should have the shields up and running again. With a little luck, it'd even win-- His heart missed a beat. On the screen, the words "SYSTEM FAILURE", in eye-watering red, was written. Panicking, Eidon frantically started pressing every button he could find, but to no avail. A few controls started making odd noises, the meters fluctuated, but the shields stayed down. Perfect, just perfect. He got up to leave; someone would probably notice that the shields weren't up, and send Chiang or Zathras to investigate. They'd get the system back in working order. Eidon carefully chose to ignore that several of the consoles were spewing out sparks. After all, just because the defenses were down didn't mean they were in any immediate danger, right? Another alarm went off, situated over the main screen. Eidon looked. And looked. And made a strangled noise in his throat. Marching across the screen was a nightmare come true. Legions of youma, dragons, bizarre phantasms and anything and everything the DarkVerse had, was approaching the city. And from the looks of it, they weren't there for a friendly visit. HOW HAD THEY FOUND OUT SO QUICKLY?!? Was this some elaborate scheme by Midnight? Had the DarkVerse expected the marriage to fail beforehand? Eidon knew that he wouldn't get any answers now, and would never get any if he stayed in the control room. He turned, and-- "Eidon, how could you?" Eidon stared, bigeyed. "P-princess Ivrysse..." The sadness in her face killed him inside. * * * "That night, the war began," Koji finished. "and it was all the fault of me... of my stupidity." "Hmm, perhaps not," Chiang mused. "I fear that the war was destined from the beginning. Darkness and Midnight just offset an action that was waiting to happen... and they drew you in, as well." "But why did they attack us first? And how come they were there so fast?" "I'm not sure, my boy," Chiang said. He sipped on his tea before he continued, "Perhaps they were expecting the alliance to fail. Perhaps they knew that Midnight would escape. If that happened, the Crystal Kingdom would immediately lash out at their new enemy. Thus, a preemptive strike would be the most tactically sound idea. Who can say?" Koji pulled at his collar. "Perhaps... but it was my fault anyway..." Zathras sidled in close and pushed Koji's hat over his eyes. "Zathras thinks good-for-nothing Eidon should remove the stick from his backside." The furry man gave him a toothy grin. "Besides, Zathras have no fun pecking on Eidon if Eidon does that himself." Koji pushed away the hat. "So you're not mad at me anymore then, Zathras?" Zathras shrugged oddly. "What happened happened. Nothing Zathras can do to bring back the Crystal Kingdom from the dead. Pity, it was a nice place, but Zathras lived a long time and seen many places. This place nice too, and Zathras is glad to be here. And, good-for-nothing Eidon is Koji here, and perhaps learned a bit now." Koji replayed the monologue in his head, translating it into japanese, and nodded. "Perhaps. Thanks." He turned to Chiang. "There's just one last thing I'd like to know..." He grabbed the folds of his cloak and held it up. "...what is the deal with this tuxedo?" "I honestly have no idea," Chiang replied. * * * "You're saying Chtulhu was stopped from manifesting... and at the same time *not* stopped?" Maeda asked. "That's all Great Shubby-chan can say," Wataru said and adjusted his t-shirt, which today read "Shubby 3:16 says 'DIE, INFERNAL MORTAL!'". "For some reason, the divinations of his existence is... screwy, in lack of a better word." The three cultists, Wataru, Maeda and Aika, fell silent, contemplating the situation at hand. The situation was getting worse for every second, and they were running out of both time and ideas. They had decided to hold a brainstorming, but were coming up blank. "I suggest a full-frontal attack," Aika said. Wataru shook his head. "We've tried that before. It didn't work then, and it won't work now." Aika glared at the robed cultist. "We aren't going to get anywhere with your negative attitude, Wataru." "We're going to get even less father with your brainless schemes, too," he scoffed. "Backwards, even. What was your philosophy again? 'What you can't solve with violence, you solve with more violence'?" Aika turned up her glare a few notches. Wataru remained unscathed. "No, no, no! It's--" "Enough!" Maeda interrupted, banging his fist on the table. "This bickering will get us nowhere. Do YOU have any ideas, Wataru?" Wataru was slightly startled at the sudden request, but showed nothing. "We put on a gig and invite the Do-Gooders?" "Yes, that's really novel," Aika said sarcastically. "I'm sure they've never seen that before." Wataru would have gnashed his teeth, hadn't he been too afraid of ruining his teeth. He could face Outer Gods, Elder Ones, and Shuggoths, and hadn't even batted an eye the time when he was thrown into a chamber filled with unmentionable horrors from beyond time and space; he had just yawned, adjusted his robes, and then tied their backs into knots. But this woman... this MORTAL woman, even, blessed with even less gifts from Great Shubby-chan, she strained his nerves to and beyond their breaking point... but she was also one of their few cultists who were even halfway competent, so he couldn't kill her. Yet. Maeda looked at the two seething cultists, and wondered to himself what had driven him to teaming up with this crackpot cult. Still, it gave him a chance to get back at the Do-Gooders... he bristled at the thought of his most hated enemies, at the thought of how a bunch of KIDS had spoiled the plans he had set up for years... and there were those other girls. The one in the white fuku, and her two friends... something about them reminded him of... the DarkVerse? Curious, curious... but that came later. Right now, there was power to be gained from this cult, once he had trancended his 'superiors'. The same superiors who were busy bickering like five-year olds. He sighed and brought his fist down yet again on the table. "I said ENOUGH! We must come up with SOMETHING, or Great Shubby-chan will have our souls for a midnight snack." "Well, since you're so loud," Aika scoffed, "do YOU have a plan?" Maeda smiled. It was not a nice smile. "As a matter of fact, I have..." * * * Meanwhile in the basement of the Nakao household, the Do-Gooders and their accomplices settled down. They had chosen the basement because it was roomier, and also because Kireiko would have made fun of Tejina's stuffed animals if they were in her room. The gang were seated around a table and had gotten some refreshments (too much in Daisy's case, judging from the way she wobbled). In the far end of the room, the stuffed and mounted body of Barney grinned at them. "Okay," Yukiko said, putting down her can of Jolt. "so what's the deal with this prophecy? What is it, and what does it mean?" "We don't know what it means yet," Tejina stated. "It's... Ayame, can you repeat it?" "Indeed, I am fully capable and willing to in a detailed fashion repeat every single word of this extremely vital and important prophecy concerning how the world must be saved from--" "Ayame," Tejina interrupted, "the prophecy, please?" "Oops," the greenhaired girl said. "Um... 'Only when the Champion of the DarkVerse unites with the Champion of the Kingdom of Delight and those of the Center and Earth can the worlds be united and survive the Coming of The Apocalypse.' That's it, to the word." "That's it?" Yukiko asked. "Okay, so we'll need to find the Champion of the DarkVerse, the Champion of the Kingdom of Delight, and 'those of the Center and Earth', and unite them somehow to avoid this, what's his name... Stagner guy, from destroying the whole world?" "That seems like a logical conclusion," Becky said. From the tone of her words, one could assume that her agent personality was surfacing. "And I also note that you're taking a rather active role in this, Yukiko-san?" Yukiko frowned. "Would you mind not talking like that? You're weirding me out..." She shook her head. "Anyway, I'm a Sailor, so I should be included in this kind of stuff, right? Besides, life in Honshuu is ANYTHING but exciting... you guys get all the fun." Aki rolled her eyes. "Fun, she says... so shall we get this over with? I want to go home already, it's getting late." "Late?" Kireiko asked. "It's not even past ten!" He turned to Hanaki, who was sitting in his lap. "Hey babe, wanna catch a late movie after this?" "Kireiko..." Hanaki complained. "It's a school day tomorrow." "Your point?" he replied. "Kireiko..." Matsuro said, "I'll have to tell you one thing... you never change." Kireiko grinned. "'Damn straight!'" Matsuro rolled his eyes. "Anyway. We need the Champion of the DarkVerse--" "That's me," Keiko chirped. "--the Champion of the Kingdom of Delight--" "Fafhragf wolf gow," Esu offered. "Esu," Daisy slurred, "it'sh not pop- polp- it'sh rude to talk with your mouth full." "She should speak," Rover muttered from below the table. Esu quickly swallowed the nuts in his mouth. "Sorry. As I said, Zathras would know." "Yes, but who knows what Zathras is SAYING?" Becky asked. "The One," Aki muttered. "I swear that's what he'll say." "Whatever," Matsuro dismissed. "And 'those of the Center and Earth'. Which are..." "The Harbringers," Becky and Tejina said simultaneously. "What, all of them?" Yukiko asked. "Weren't there six of them?" "I'll contact them later," Tejina said. "Maybe Sakyou has something to say about it." "And then unite them," Kireiko said. "Now there's a group wedding I'd--" *WHAP!* "Ow!" "That's not even funny!" Aki complained. "Oh?" Kireiko grinned. "Then the bit afterwards should--" *WHAP!* "Ow!" *WHAP!* "Ouch!" *WHAP!* "Hey, lay it off!" "Aki," Hanaki complained, "get a boyfriend of your own to pick on! This one's mine!" "You haven't gotten yours housebroken yet," Aki replied. Kireiko blinked. "Excuse me?!" Tejina rubbed her head, a headache making its approach known. "Look, we're all tired. We have some stuff to go by. Let's continue this some other time, okay?" There was a general agreement, and the guests left in the orderly fashion you might expect from a group of teenagers. The animal advisors left with their respective charges, through small portals, or in the case of Daisy, just wandered off. Before Yukiko could leave through the portal Esu had opened, Tejina stopped her. Yukiko turned. "Yes?" "I'm not sure how to put this, but... are we related somehow?" Yukiko frowned. "Not sure... we all do look the same, and we're Sailors... but I found out a while ago that I was adopted, so... although dad said I was only supposed to have two sisters..." "Probably mom adopted you away as well," Hanaki suggested. "She did that for some reason, yes," Ayame said. "I don't remember why she did, though. Probably had some reason." "Cool!" Yukiko said. "Look guys, I gotta go now. Can I come back later? Having Esu around is like having an unlimited first-class ticket." "Teleporting long distances is not as easy as it seems, Yuki," Esu complained. "It's rather tiring." Yukiko handed him a packet of peanuts. "But if it's neccessary, then..." "Sure, drop by anytime," Tejina said. She smiled. "Just give us a call, okay?" "Wanna go shopping sometime?" Hanaki asked. Yukiko beamed. "I'd love that. Bye!" She stepped through the portal, which closed behind her. "She's taking this very well," Tejina observed. Hanaki shrugged. "Maybe because she's not as high-strung as you." Tejina blinked. "What did you say?" "I said 'high-strung'. Good night!" She turned and left before Tejina managed to stop her. "Am I high-strung?" Tejina asked to no one in particular. "Yes, you are," Ayame dutifully answered. * * * Kireiko's trip home was surprisingly devoid of shinto priestesses and demon hunters out to destroy him, but he knew better than to kick a dead horse in the mouth, or something. When he entered, he found his mother scrubbing the floor. She looked up. "Son, did you forget to put on your shirt properly when you left the house earlier? You've dripped slime everywhere!" Kireiko scratched his head apologetically. "Well..." There was a scream as his father slipped on the slimy stairs, a few thunks as he fell, a dramatic silence as he elegantly flipped through the air, and Kireiko could almost hear the applause as his father came to a graceful landing. "cOOl! I dIdn't knOw yOU cOUld dO thAt..." "And you're speaking like that again. Put your shirt on." "bUT..." Kireiko coughed a bit and felt around on his back for the ofuda. "I mean, I still have my shirt on." He buttoned it together properly in the front, not noticing how his parents' eyes momentarily widened. "I'm gonna practice some guitar now." He turned and walked upstairs. Atsuko sighed. "Choji, aren't you worried?" Choji Morizaki stood tall, the image of the Japanese flag and crashing thunderous waves behind him. His glasses glinted. "No, I am not worried. We dealt with Ctuhlhu and its cults once before, after all." "Yes, but we blew up several city blocks in the process." "We can deal with that too, now. We are cost accountants, after all." "And our son's involved, too." Choji deflated. "All right, I don't have a snappy line for that one." * * * The creature of legends entered the room, and turned his silent gaze on the being inside. She had sensed his arrival seconds before, but deigned to let him wait several moments before even acknowledging his presence. Mermaid looked up from the desk. "Yes, Scotch?" "Koohii suggested we go and see a movie." the boy stated. Long pause. Realizing that Scotch wasn't going to say anything else at the moment, Mermaid replied, "You mean, all of us?" "That's what the 'we' bit means, right?" "Well, yes..." Mermaid thought a few seconds, then smiled. "Sure! Just give me a few minutes to finish this project... I think I have an answer. Where is Koohii, anyway?" "Oh, she had an idea for a new song." Sure enough, a not entirely unpleasant voice could be heard from below. Scotch peered at the pieces of papers covering the desk, along with lots and lots of alchemy- and magic-oriented paraphernalia. "You're still working on those paper pieces Keiko-san found?" "Yes..." Mermaid picked up one of them. "Do you know who Shub-Niggurath is?" "An Outer God," Scotch prompted. "Remember? Niban spent a lot of time drilling that in." "Yeah... I wonder what happened to our... to them." * * * Meanwhile, on a beach somewhere... The swimtrunks-bedecked and sunglasses-sporting man sneezed lightly. "Don't tell me you're catching a cold HERE, Ichiban," the auburn-haired woman in the swimsuit said, and continued to rub sun lotion onto the man's broad shoulders. "I doubt there's a risk for that, Sanban. Perhaps someone is talking about us," Ichiban said, pausing to let out a slight moan as his female associate touched an especially sensitive spot. "Probably the kids." "Yes..." Sanban said, nodding slightly. "I'm proud of them, escaping like that just when we were about to kill them. Finally they show some survival instinct. Did we do well, Ichiban?" Ichiban nodded. "We did well." He turned his head to their other member and barked, "Niban! How goes our attempt at world domination?" The slightly younger man napping under the parasol opened his eyes and looked up. "Hmm?" He turned and gazed at the laptop lying next to him for half a minute. "Proceeding to plans. We should sell the shares in a few of the top-notch companies before they drop..." He paused and looked at the screen for a few more seconds. "...and buy shares in Kanzuki Zaibatsu. They are on the rise right now." "Good, good... do that." He picked up a drink that was surprisingly devoid of fruit and little colorful umbrellas, and took a sip. "Working with those Seal losers was a mistake. This, my friends, is how you take over the world in COMFORT." * * * Villyn leaned back on the couch, putting an arm around the woman he loved and taking her hand. "I must say, my dear Charity-chan, these portals really make travelling easy. You can go halfway around the world for the day and be back home for the evening news." He stretched. "These day trips are just what we needed." "Anything for you, my love," Charity said, holding his hand. "And I've always wanted to see Paris, anyway." She let go. "But you should really let Aki know about this matter." On cue, Aki stumbled in through the front door and collapsed over the back of the second couch couch. "God, I'm TIRED..." She peered up and noticed the couple. "Oh... hi, dad. Hi, Charity." She got up. "I won't disturb you..." "Sit down please, Aki," Villyn said. Seeing the girl's confusion over hearing her father use such a serious voice, Charity filled in, "There's something we think you should know about." Aki took a seat. She was confused, but at the same time curious. "What is it?" "First of all," Charity began, "what do you know about 'the Light of the World'?" Aki shrugged. "It's me. Or one of my titles. At least a lot of people say I am the Light of the World, and tell me to do all sorts of weird stuff. Like when Chiang told me to marry Matsuro." Villyn boggled. "You, marry Matsuro?" "Figures," Charity said, rolling her eyes. "It would be something the old man would do. Always jumping to conclusions without looking at the big picture. Or so I was told." "You know him?" Aki asked. "Know OF him," Charity corrected. "You'll have to remember that he's several thousand years old, while I'm just..." She coughed a bit. "...much younger. I've been told about him when I was raised, though." "Okay," Aki agreed. "So what was it you wanted to tell me now?" "Well, you see, it happened just the other day," Villyn said, "when we had an unexpected visitor..." * * * A few days ago... Villyn gazed intently at the robed person seated on the other side of the livingroom table, trying to penetrate the darkness of that hood... to no avail. Still, given who he was himself, and what he wore on a daily basis, he was in no position to speak. Charity tried not to express the concern she had about the man (or was he?) that had entered the room a few minutes ago, and was now holding a teacup in his... hand, possibly; he had folded his sleeve to cover it from sight. He wasn't drinking from the cup, either, just holding it. Of course, all these subtle hints paled in comparison with the biggest, most blatant hint of them all; the immense, bloated aura of malevolence around him, uncovered and free to see for all (all that had the ability to see auras, that is); he wore the evil energy like a shroud. Of course, being the supreme ruler of a supposedly evil dimension populated by slavering monsters, Charity weren't in any position to speak, either. She also wasn't the person to judge people (or whatever they were) on their appearance. So she held her thoughts for the moment, and waited for her Villyn to say something. "So, Mr..." Villyn began. "mAYnArd," Maynard replied. "mY brEthrEn rEfEr tO mE As brOthEr mAYnArd, bUt mAYnArd wIll dO jUst fInE." He smiled, then realized that the hood concealed all his facial expressions. "mY tImE Is shOrt, sO I shAll gEt dOwn tO bUsInEss. I rEprEsEnt A cUlt dEdIcAtEd tO A EntItY whOsE pOwErs mOrtAl mEn cAnnOt cOmprEhEnd, And whOsE gOAls ArE--" "This isn't some sort of 'destroy the world' entity we're speaking of, is there?" Charity interrupted, frowning. She had had her share of those, and she didn't much like it. "nO, thAt's nOt OUr gOAl," Maynard said. "In fAct, thAt Is whErE OUr mAIn prOblEm lIEs... And YOUrs, vIllYn-sAn." "Me?" Villyn asked in surprise, because someone has to. "cOrrEct," Maynard said, stirring the lukewarm tea. "thErE Is AnOthEr cUlt, OppOsIng Us. thEY wOrshIp shUb-nIggUrAth, thE blAck gOAt wIth A thOUsAnd YOUng." "Shub-Niggurath?" Charity raised an eyebrow. "Isn't she an Outer God?" Maynard looked at her with interest. "IndEEd. YOU knOw Of hEr?" "A bit. So what is the trouble that she is causing you, that has to do with us?" "nOt sO mUch tO dO wIth YOU... As It hAs tO dO wIth YOUr dAUghtEr, vIllYn-san." "My daughter?" Villyn echoed. "Aki? What is she into this time?" "AllOw mE tO ExplAIn fUrthEr. shUb-nIggUrAth, Or 'shUbbY-chAn' As hEr fOllOwErs cAll hEr, sEEk tO dEstrOY thE wOrld," he noted Charity's expression, and chuckled mentally, while racking up a few extra brownie points. "YEs, shE Is OnE Of thOsE EntItIEs, mIss chArItY. hOwEvEr shE cAnnOt thrEAtEn thE wOrld dIrEctlY And hOpE tO sUccEEd bEfOrE shE hAs ExtIngUIshEd 'thE lIght Of thE wOrld', A bEIng Of ImmEnsE pOwEr And pUrItY. wE sEEk thE dOwnfAll Of shUb-nIggUrAth, bUt wE ArE fAr frOm pOwErfUl EnOUgh bEfOrE OUr mAstEr hAs AwAkEnEd." There was a long pause. Realizing that Maynard wasn't going to say anything else, Villyn asked, "...so what does this have to do with Aki?" "dOn't YOU rEAlIzE?" Maynard asked, smirking slightly (which they couldn't see, of course). "YOUr dAUghtEr, AkI, *Is* thE lIght Of thE wOrld!" He forcibly fought down an urge to laugh maniacally, since it would be totally inappropriate. For a moment, the situation kicked Villyn's Overlord tendencies into full gear, and he had to fight down an urge to announce 'No! This cannot be! I am invincible!', before saying, "I see. So this, this Shub-Niggurath seeks to kill my precious daughter, does she?" His face turned into a mask of determination. "We'll see about that." "Oh dear," Charity said, the weak tan she had buit up over the last weeks fading as she paled. "Then those people trying to kidnap Aki must have been that cult, as well." Villyn frowned. "You mean that dragon boy?" Charity shook her head. "No, not him. Those others, who tried to kidnap her first." She paused. "I wonder where that boy went..." * * * Meanwhile, in a cave somewhere else in Tokyo... Hiryuu put down the manual. "I don't get this. I'm supposed to call this number to set up a working phone line... but how can I call the number if I don't have a working phone line?" He leaned back on his hoard. "Humans are weird... maybe I should just ask her out in person." * * * "But it means my Aki is in danger," Villyn said, "so I must protect her, at any cost." Charity shook her head. "Aki won't have that. She won't stay cooped up in the house because of some unseen enemy. Besides, she can defend herself... and as much as I dislike it, I must give her friends credit for their fighting abilities. Aki-chan will be safe... but nevertheless, she should know about this." Villyn nodded, and turned to Maynard. "It seems that we have a lot to thank you for, Maynard-san. But why do you tell us this?" "cOmmOn plAns, Of cOUrsE," Maynard said. "If shUbbY-chAn ExtIngUIshEs thE lIght Of thE wOrld, OUr mAstEr's plAn wIll bE fOrfEIt, And wE wIll All bE dOOmEd. thIs Is ObvIOUslY nOt sOmEthIng wE wIsh tO hAppEn. thE lIght Of thE wOrld mUst bE prOtEctEd." [aT lEAst UntIl thE grEAt cthUlhU hAs AwOkEn. thEn shE cAn gO rIp hErsElf A nEw OnE, fOr All I cArE.] "hOwEvEr, thErE mAY cOmE A tImE whEn wE nEEd YOUr sErvIcE In rEtUrn." [thErE, thAt shOUld kEEp thEIr sUspIcIOns down.] "And nOw I mUst lEAvE." The others didn't say anything to stop him, so he stood up. "gOOd-bYE." "Good-bye," Charity said. "Give our regards to the rest of the Chtulhu cult." Maynard was halfway back to the hideout when he realized what she had said. * * * "So you see," Villyn said, finishing his tale, "that's how it is. For the sake of your life, and for the sake of the world, this Shub--" He was interrupted by a screaming teenager, standing right before him and excercising her lungs. "YOU MADE A DEAL WITH THOSE CHTULHU FREAKS?! DO YOU HAVE *ANY* IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE THEY'VE PUT US IN THE LAST MONTHS?!" Fortunately, she forgot to mention that the two people on the couch had put both her and her friends in a lot of trouble on their own. "Did you know what they did yesterday?! They ATTACKED us at the festival--" "Shouldn't you be used to that by now?" Charity interjected. "[SHUT] [UP]! --and they KIDNAP Kireiko and try to put their GOD in him! Now he's all slimy and tAlks lIkE thIs! Do you HONESTLY think you can TRUST those- those THINGS?!" "Of course not," Villyn said soberly. "I honestly think they'll stab me in the back as soon as I'm not of any more use. I myself plan to doublecross them at the first good opportunity." Aki stared at her father as if he had said 'I want to be a lumberjack'. Villyn raised an eyebrow. "I AM an Evil Overlord, Aki-chan. It's only logical. After all, I plan to take over the world myself, along with my beloved Charity-chan." He turned to Charity. "You said this Cthulhu fellow wanted to conquer the world, right?" Charity nodded. "That's what most of the lores say, yes." Aki stared at them and began saying something, but stopped. "Nevermind." She turned and stalked off to her room, muttering bracketed insults under her breath. "Damn," Villyn said, before remembering that there were ladies present. "Sorry." "Don't be, dear," Charity said. "You can explain the situation to her again when she's calmed down... I'm sure she'll see that you only did it for her sake." "Actually, I was planning on asking her if she wanted to join us in taking over the world," Villyn said, rubbing his neck. "I still haven't tested that moonbeam generator..." Charity swatted him with a cushion. * * * Matsuro came home to an empty apartment. No ghosts, no dwarfs, no white guys with noisy swords dating his mother. No white guys dating his mother either. No valkyries demanding his sword. No hallucinations leapt from the walls, assailing his optical senses and playing tricks on his mind. It was downright unnerving. A few minutes later, he had tuckered in, hoping that a few apocalyptical dreams might return his sense of (un)reality. Yet a few minutes later, Balin staggered in through the door, clutching his head. "Argh... damn those closing hours... damn those little metal workers, sitting in my head... aspirin... coffee... axe through the head..." His eyes shut, the dwarf walked into the chair Matsuro had carelessly thrown his jacket over. There was a CLINK sound as his helmet collided with the small bottle sitting in a pocket. Balin removed the bottle and stared at it for a few seconds. Then he grinned, despite his hangover. "Bless you, Matsuro my boy! This instant coffee is just what I need!" * * * In an abandoned building somewhere in Tokyo, an unlikely meeting was taking place. Not because the participants were animals. Not because these animals talked, either. In fact, Tokyo had a rather large population of talking cats, dogs, chihuahuas, llamas, and even, as this meeting revealed, bunnies and lizards. No, the unlikeliness went deeper than that. "So, Kahi, you decided to show up after all," Cecil said. Kahi stepped out of the shadows. "Againssst better knowing, no doubt," he said. "Don't make me regret thisss. Where'sss Yoru?" "Not invited. I don't trust him." Kahi made what would have been a lopsided grin on a human. "And I sssuppose you trussst me without question?" "How amusing," Cecil said, sounding not at all amused. "He works for Sailor Darkness, and she is not on our side... yet. I don't want anyone to leak information." "Ssso what did you want to talk about? Sssince we're not home with the girlsss, I assssume you don't consssider them trussstworthy either." "Clever lizard. Tell me what your plans are." Kahi produced a snorting sound. "Hah! Why don't you tell me what you're up to, then?" "None of your business," Cecil automatically replied. "Then give me one good reassson why I ssshould tell you anything?" With a faint SNIKT, Cecil unfolded his switchblade. "I might slice you into little lizard ribbons. Good enough reason?" Kahi narrowed his eyes. "You will not threaten me, Cccecil. And you are a fool to try. Do you remember nothing?" Cecil glared at the lizard advisor for several seconds, before finally putting away the knife. "Feh. Whatever. All right, I'll tell you what I am doing and what I know so far... but only if you tell me what YOU'RE up to first." "And how do I know that you will not decide to not tell me anything after I'm done, hmm?" Kahi inquired. "I swear upon my honor." "You don't HAVE any honor, Cccecil." "Exactly." "Very well," Kahi sighed. "My - OUR - Sssailors believe that they're going to rule thisss world. They believe that to do ssso, they must firssst rid it of monstersss and other elementsss that go againssst their wishesss." "Of course that's not the deal, right? And cut it out with that hissing, I know you can speak properly." Cecil interjected. "Shut up. No, of course not. There's too many of them to use that method. In actuality, it's nothing but training." "Training for what?" Kahi grinned a reptilian grin. "You would like to know that, would you not?" His grin dropped. "Your turn." Cecil raised an eyebrow, or what passed for one. "Hmpf. Yeah, yeah... what do you want to know?" "What do you know about Sailor Darkness? Don't look so surprised, Cecil. I know you've been out spying on her." Cecil grumbled something unprintable. "Very well. Sailor Darkness, also called Keiko Yamanaka." "The school book told me that, Cecil. Anything NEW?" "She's also dating the drummer in the band "Do-Gooders", Matsuro... I haven't found out his last name yet." "Do-Gooders?" Kahi asked. "So she's involved with those?" "Yeah. Several members of the Do-Gooders are, as you probably know, the reincarnations of members of the original Crystal City Sailor Team; Sailor Delight, Rapture, and Bliss." Cecil made a face as he mentioned their names, and then grinned evilly. "They seem to have gotten more stupid when they reincarnated last time. Apparently they've never heard of secret identities." "Maybe they don't feel the need of secret identities," Kahi suggested. "Then they're even more stupid. Furthermore, two other Sailors have been sighted; Sailor Joy, and occasionally Sailor Winter." "So she has full group around her... how shameless of those girls to steal the only one of our Sailors those bastards accepted..." Kahi looked agitated, or at least as agitated as a large, brightly coloured lizard can look. "You don't say..." Cecil mused. "Anyway, a last fact I found out a few days ago; Sailor Darkness has three dragons at her house." Kahi blinked several times. "Dragons?! In her HOUSE? Do they even exist nowadays?" Cecil shrugged. "Obviously. They were transformed into humans, but I could still sense their true forms... they're different from DarkVerse dragons, though." "That complicates matters, though... no matter. Once Sailor Darkness has taken her rightful position... it is time for REVENGE." "I was right, then... you WERE having the same plan as me," Cecil said. "Yesss," Kahi said, lapsing back into hissing. "For terminating our program... for deeming our girls UNFIT for their role... the DarkVerse shall pay." * * * WILL CECIL AND KAHI SUCCEED IN THEIR QUEST FOR VENGEANCE? WHAT WILL YORU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT? WHY CAN'T CECIL PUNISH KAHI? WHAT IS THE TRUTH BEHIND THE DARKVERSE SAILORS? WHAT'S UP WITH KOJI? WHY IS HE WEARING A TUX? WAS EIDON REALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FALL OF THE CRYSTAL CITY? WHAT ARE MAEDA'S GREAT PLAN? WHAT IS THE CHTULHU CULT UP TO? WHAT IS CHTULHU/KIREIKO UP TO? WHAT WILL HIS PARENTS DO? ARE TEJINA HIGH-STRUNG? WHY ARE YUKIKO TAKING THIS SO WELL? IS SHE TEJINA'S SISTER AS WELL? WILL AKI JOIN HER FATHER'S QUEST FOR GLOBAL DOMINION? IS SHE HATCHING A SCHEME OF HER OWN? WILL VILLYN REALLY DOUBLECROSS CHTULHU? WILL HE REGRET IT IF HE DOES? WHAT DOES CHARITY REALLY KNOW ABOUT CHTULHU? WILL THE DRAGON CHILDE GO TO A MOVIE? WHAT DOES THE SCROLLS SAY? WHO WILL BE THE NEXT TITLEHOLDER FOR 'LONGEST RUN-ON SENTENCE'? WILL MATSURO GET RID OF THE VAMPIRE DUST? WILL HE BE SMART ENOUGH TO SPREAD IT TO THE FOUR WINDS? OR WILL BALIN TRY TO MAKE COFFEE OUT OF HIM? WILL AUNT ITAKO START DATING SPIKE? (If he gets resurrected, that is) AND WHY ARE THESE QUESTIONS WRITTEN IN SUCH A HAPHAZARD FASHION? Ask not me... ask Kate Malloy, our next writer and newcomer on the Do-Gooders scene! Do a good job! Or else. Give her a big hand, people! *clap clap clap* --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Author's notes: Tap for Neo-German credits sequence. Author's comments: Stream on Consciousness is a great thing. Only problem is it's a bit hard to get an overview of. Oh well. Hopefully this part wasn't too crappy, and hopefully you'll have as much fun reading it as I had writing it. Thanks to my loyal army of faithfully suicidal... I mean suicidally faithful prereaders, Steven Schougall, Philip Barkow, and Kate Malloy, whose dedication towards the task of leashing me in when my writing got out of hand is truly remarkable. Alas, however, RL and personal laziness conspired to keep me from being able to send the last draft to them to preread... sorry, guys. And I apologize to the readers for any errors that I might have included. And so on, and so forth. Last note: No, I don't intend to bring back Ichiban and co. as major villains trying to take over the world. Other writers might want to, but the Do-Gooders will most probably have trouble fighting them in the world of stock broking (now THAT would be a novel story...). But seeing as they seem to have fallen into a plothole several episodes ago, I felt a need to clarify where they went, and give them a good exit of sorts. Thank you for reading! Please send C&C to a99jonst@ida.his.se Bye now!