GIRLS WITH GUNS, or how I managed to put off this thing for way too long The Improbable Adventures of Improfanfic's Co-Mascots Started By: David Kelk, dkelk@sympatico.ca This Chapter By: John Evans, jevans@datablast.net Hosted at: Improfanfic, http://pixelscapes.com/improfanfic/ Episode Ten: Sex and Violence ===== Aika opened the door to her apartment, walked in, and flopped down in her chair in front of the TV. She took off her glasses, and rubbed at her eyes. Becky walked in after her and closed the door, looking at her fellow magical girl worriedly. "Aika..." Becky began. "I'm sorry, okay?" Aika pulled a tissue from a nearby box, and wiped at her face. Becky walked over and stood behind the chair. "Um...it's okay. But are you all right?" "...No, I'm not." Aika leaned forward, and pulled a tape off the stack standing next to the TV. "Well...do you want to talk about it?" Becky asked. "Look...I made a mistake. For a moment I thought you were...the person I used to date. But I won't do that again." She stuck the tape in the VCR. "So let's just forget about it, okay?" "Well...if you say so..." Becky trailed off and stared at the TV, then quickly looked away. "Um...Aika?" "Yeah?" Aika put her glasses back on. "...what are you watching?" "I told you...they're my friends. When I watch them I can...remember how things were." She sniffed and rubbed at her face again. Becky stared at Aika. Her gaze strayed to the TV again, then she quickly turned and faced the other way. "But...I mean...you're watching them..." "It reminds me of when we walked in on them once," Aika said. Becky heard a small sob. "Aika..." Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Aika looked back. "...Becky...could you tell whoever it is to go away?" "...Oh...um, sure, Aika. No problem." She walked quickly to the door. "Thanks." Becky opened the door and found Princess Anniki standing there, and smiling. "Hello, Sailor Rapture," she said. "It's good to see you." Becky's eyes widened. "Uh...Aki?" "Actually," Aki said, "It's Princess Anniki. Aki is having problems, in here," she tapped her temple, "so I took over to help her out." "...oh...I'm sorry to hear that," Becky said. "Who the hell is it, Becky?" Aika called irritably. "Oh, it's a friend of mine," Becky replied. "Another magical girl...she's okay. And I think she needs my help." "Oh...all right, if you say she's okay, she can come in." "All right. Won't you come in...um, Anniki?" Anniki smiled. "Thank you. Sorry to intrude." She walked in and spied the TV. "Oh, my!" Becky glanced at the TV, and nearly facefaulted. "Um, sorry Aki, I mean--" "I'm terribly sorry! I didn't want to interrupt anything! I'll just be going, we can talk about this tomorrow." She turned to leave. "No, no! It's not like that!" Becky exclaimed, waving her arms. Anniki turned back and blinked. "Oh...it isn't?" "...Look, just come in and tell me about it, okay?" Becky closed the door behind Anniki, who sat down on a couch where she could watch too. "Something strange happened to Aki," Anniki began. "She had a rather nasty series of hallucinations. Her personality has been damaged as a result." "That sounds awful," Becky said, sitting down with her back to the TV. "But what caused the hallucinations?" "I think it was reality itself destabilizing," Anniki replied. "Have you noticed anything strange recently? Maybe about time?" Becky blinked. "Yeah...actually, we have. No one seems to know what day it is." "Interesting," Anniki murmured. "And there's the fourth wall," Aika put in, turning from the TV for a moment. "The fourth wall?" Becky asked. "Yeah, you remember, the faculty building. The fourth wall broke recently. I heard they keep trying to repair it, but for some reason it just keeps breaking down." "It sounds like the problem is much larger than I thought," Anniki said, frowning. "This does not bode well." "So what can we do?" Becky asked. "Well..." Anniki leaned forward. "What we should do is..." She suddenly blinked at the TV. "Hey! I like that outfit!" The stack of tapes nearly fell over from the vibration caused by Becky's facefault. ===== "OOOOOOHOHOHOHO!" Johnny Cage rolled his eyes. As if his partner wasn't bad enough... "And with your help," Saikyo concluded, "War Rocket Ajax will be completed in two days! So...are you in?" "Well, the price is certainly right," Sofia said, "So I would say...yes, we're in." Cage nodded. "You've got yourself some fighters." "Wonderful! OOOOOOHOHOHOHO!" Saikyo laughed for another half minute or so, then her voice resumed normal levels. "It's so tragic, what happened with you two. It gives me great pleasure to be able to help you out like this." Sofia's eyes narrowed. "We don't want *charity*," she spat. "Oh, no, of course not! I'm just saying that because I was always one of your biggest fans!" "You just gotta be philosophical about it," Cage said, shrugging. "A lot of people had to find new things to do, once Ultra was over." "Yes, of course. Now...you both know what to do?" Saikyo's eyes twinkled with malicious glee. "We're not stupid," Sofia snapped, still eyeing the girl with hostility. "Of course, of course," Saikyo said quickly. "I just want to make sure. You never know what could happen...there was some report about mutant animals escaping from a research lab, you know. They could still be around?" "I heard about that," Cage said. "The ones that thought they were mascots or something? We can take 'em." "I'm *so* glad to hear it." Saikyo reached out to touch the wall of the school building. "This will be the key to our victory." She gave it a friendly tap...and suddenly a tall, smug-looking guy appeared out of thin air. Everyone blinked. "Uh...this the Bash at the Beach?" the guy asked. "...no," Saikyo said. "...uh...okay. Sorry." He ran off into the night. After he was out of sight, Saikyo turned back to the erstwhile tag team. "You see? There's no telling what can happen around here." "Don't worry your little head about it, girl," Cage said. Sofia giggled. "Hmph!" Saikyo turned to the girl standing next to her. "Now, the photo, Yuki-chan." "Hai, Saikyo-sama." She rummaged through her schoolbag and found a white envelope, which she removed a large photograph from. Upon seeing it, she blinked and stifled a gasp, then blushed and handed it to Saikyo. "Villyn-sama says to especially watch out for this girl," she said, handing the photograph to Cage. "She's already broken free of our control once." Cage took the photograph and ran his free hand through his air. "No problem. She won't be able to stop us." "Very well. I'll leave you to it, then." She bowed, and walked away, the other girl following. "So what do you think?" Cage asked. Sofia idly flicked her whip. "I don't like young girls. They make me... angry." A sweatdrop broke out on Cage's head. ===== "Yuki-chan?" The girl looked up guiltily. "Hai?!? Saikyo-sama?" Saikyo put her hand on Yuki's shoulder. "Are you all right? You seemed...distracted by something. That photograph?" Yuki looked down. "Um...it's not important, Saikyo-sama. I'm sorry." "No, no, Yuki-chan," Saikyo chided. "I want you to tell me." Yuki looked up into Saikyo's face. "Well...if it's okay..." "It is." Saikyo smiled radiantly. "Well...it's that girl." "What about her?" "...she...stepped on me. A couple days ago." Saikyo blinked. "*Stepped* on you?" Yuki nodded sadly. Saikyo clenched her teeth. "...I can't allow that! *Nobody* steps on my Troopers except me!" Yuki rubbed the back of her head. ===== Mr. Sunshine grinned. This plan was truly a work of art. He stared at the long, rigid, pointed, orange carrot in his hands. This plan would *work*! ===== "So...how's the cat doing?" Yugi asked. "Oh, no problems," his fellow cultist assured him. "I was just giving it dinner." Yugi stopped, and stood still. "Dinner?" "Yeah. I gave it some of my alu gobi." "...hm...okay. I guess that's all right." He rubbed his hands together. "With this cat, we can...dare I say it?" "Sure," the other cultist replied. "...Rule the world!" ============================================================================== MAGICAL GIRL DO-GOODERS Data File Entry #63-S: Alu Gobi Indian dish, often vegetarian, made with potatoes, onions, cauliflower, and various spices possibly including garlic, ginger, coriander, cumin, chili and turmeric. Variations on the basic recipe exist. Nutrition points: 20 per serving. Tap for one red mana. ============================================================================== Yugi stared at the entry. "...You fool! You fed it *cauliflower*!" "...what? But...but I didn't!" the other cultist yelped. "Couldn't you have read the file BEFORE feeding it?!?" Yugi yelled. The cultists suddenly felt a chill. They turned around. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!" ============================================================================== MAGICAL GIRL DO-GOODERS Data File Entry #GEB: Data File Entries Provide exposition in the 'Girls With Guns' story. Accepted means of giving information to the reader. Inedible. Sometimes recursive. Tap for a slight clinking sound. ============================================================================== To be continued... ===== Author's note: B flat Thanks to www.bawarchi.com for providing a recipe.