One small hail of small arms fire later....
    "Um, Aika?"
    "Yes, Becky?"
    "Didn't he just have, like, a forcefield or something?"
    "Yeah! He did!"
    "So what happened?"
    The homicidal pair looked towards the bleeding sack of pure, malevolent hatred lying on the footpath.
    "Who cares?"

Girls with Guns #17
Otherwise known as, "The sequencial adventures of homicidal maniacs"
"Dancing Queen"
or, "I Don't want to write the nasty awful icky Ultra
reference, so, neeneeerr 8P"
By Arthur Monteath-Carr.

    Aika looked at her opponent, eyes scewing up in concentration.
    Things were bad. She was outmanuevered, outgunned, outsmarted, and out of luck. The whole situation had spiraled downwards from the word go.
    Oh, sure, she had gotten in the odd shot, here and there. She wasn't doing to bad- her enemy was hurting, and hurting bad. Hopefully, with one well-placed volley, she'd be able to win this thing.
    "G-4" she said.
    "DAMN!" yelled Becky. "You sunk my battleship. You win."
    Instead of exulting in her victory, the occasion only made Aika feel empty and hollow. She'd just taken her best friend's heart and squeezed it through an emotional wringer, and for what? A foolish victory in a foolish game.
Oh, the depths to which we mortals sink, she thought.
    "I'm bored."
    "Me too."
    "What day is it?"
    "Um... nine o'clock?"
    "Fair enough." Aika sighed and lay down on her couch.
    "Wait... nine o'clock?" Aika asked.
    "Yeah. Its a weekday, I know that much."
    "AARRGH!!! I' M LAAATE!!!!"

    There are few things, it has been noted elsewhere, that are faster than a Japanese schoolgirl who has realised that she is late for school. Sure, in most circumstances, cheetas  can out-sprint any animal you care to name; you can say the Augusta makes a damn fine motorbike; you can conjure images of Concord all you want- but for the fifteen minute cross-urban dash, absolutely nothing beats the sheer raw desperation of a late student.
    Two seconds to eat the toast, a minute to get changed, thirty seconds to grab her bag and Aika was out the door and on her bike before you could say "Badly written transition."
    While she was late for school on monday, thanks to Tokyo traffic, she arrived perfectly on time on tuesday.
    And who says traffic congestion is a bad thing?


    Meanwhile, Mr. Sunshine and Ms. Moonshine were having oh so much fun.
    But that could be awfully icky and lemony and not for nice boys and girls to see, so, we'll censor it, shall we?
    "Becky-chan! My love!"
    "Get away from me you disgusting fat lecher whom I want to marry!"
    "Oh, you *blip* I only want to *blip blip blip*!"
    "*blip* off!"
    Ms. Moonshine was confused. She was periphially aware of this Becky, and was smart enough to know that she wasn't her. The subject seemed to have transferred his obsession over to her, or something.
    She turned the corner and hid behind a dumpster, her hip holster making thi-
    Holster?
    That's right, she had a gun.
    The chu-chu'd freak ran past her and looked around, calling for his lost love. Ms. Moonshine trembled for just the briefest of moments, then hardened her heart.
    "Sunshine-san! My love!"
    "Becky-chan! My angel!"
    BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM *click click, chink, ka-chink* BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM etc.
    The first .22 slammed right between his eyes, causing him to jerk forward just so, with a puzzled look of confusion on his face. The second missed and beat the hell out of a brick wall; however, the next four delt to the pervert's lungs and heart with great effeciancy.
    When Ms. Moonshine reloaded her revolver, the startled corpse of Mr. Sunshine dropped to the floor.
    After it was over, Moonshine was a little disappointed. She'd missed most of the dental work.


"Hey, Aika! Long time no see!"
Gina bounced along the august halls of Heart Heart High with a spring in her step and a bag on her back. Aika closed her locker and turned her bleary vision towards her.
    "Oh... I've been busy. What've I missed?"
    "Oh, not much. Hey, what's that?"
   ' That' was a rather strange poster for the school play. Plain black paper, with the legend:
 
The King in Yellow

A Tradgedy in Three Acts
 

7:00 pm
school hall
no pets or elder signs

    Under that was a bizarre round sigil that made Aika wince. It was just... wrong.
    "Going to see it?" asked Gina.
    "Nope. We've done far too many Mythos jokes and references for one series thankyou."
    "What?"
    "Um, never mind."
    The pair continued down the hall.
    "So... who're you taking to the dance?"
    "Dance?" Aika sounded shocked.
    "You know... dance, formal, ball thing?"
    Aika didn't even know that it was on.
    "Well... its couples only. You'd better get yourself a date fast if you want in."
    Aika smiled. That wasn't going to be a problem.

MAGICAL GIRL HUNTERS DATA FILE: #32457134569- Foxtrot.
Really Big German Guy Named Hans

Statistics:
Strength- 8                                            Hit points: 50, 100 in the presense of females
Everything Else Except for That- 5        Turn-ons: Nearly anything female, Professional Bodybuilder, food.
Brains- -4.                                            Turn-offs: Dominate female people, whips, chains.

Lowdown:
The Really Big German Guy Named Hans is a very definate type, and can be found just about anywhere, even having penetrated the japanese public school system. The RBGGNH also tends to follow a fairly distinct psychological profile, which can be summed up thusly:
1) I am so big and muscular
2) All of ze chicks dig me.
3) Hans iz hungry.
Cost to build: $100. Best used in units of three. Good against zurglings.

    "Really? You vant to go out vith me? I mean, sure, I vould be honored to-"
    "Shaddup and put on the helmet, sunshine.We're going for a ride."
    Zhe really digs me, thought Hans.


Meanwhile, on Fox Fanservice Network...

    "WHERE DID THAT LITTLE BITCH GO!!!!"
    "It doesn't matter, mistress-"
    "Don't speak unless spoken to!"
    "owwww..."
 


Author's note:
Please please please please please please please please DON'T USE THE KING IN YELLOW THING AS A STORY HOOK!!!!
Thankyou.
You see, I put it in as an homage to a spiffy lil' piece of Neon Genesis Evangelion fanfiction I found, called "Children of an Elder God," written by the team of John Biles and Rod M.
You know, it really is very good.
You know, you should read it. You really should. And ma il them, telling them how good it is.
You can find it, at,  WELCOME TO NERV or,

http://www.uh.edu/~rom/eva/

if Composer mangled that link.
Oh, yeah, and the HTML for this is crappy... sorry. Truely.
But, at least its not Word, right?

Arthur Monteath-Carr.