Girls with Guns Written by Philip Barkow. Girls with Guns originally created by David Kelk. dkelk@sympatico.ca Hosted at: Improfanfic, http://pixelscapes.com/improfanfic/ This episode dedicated to Susan 'Aissys Sparkstealer' Jones. Thank you for not being a mundane. Chapter 20: Don't Forget about the Closet! ******************************************************************* Fuki's mind was focused. She had become a killer. The fragments of demon and feline within her soul had temporarily overpowered the parts of her that still remembered what it meant to be a human being. The mind that remained knew little else than the lust for blood. Fuki was watching her target from a concealed location. The thought of ending the existence of a living, breathing being filled her with a kind of anticipation that she'd never known as Yuki. Her prey turned away for a moment. Just a moment, but a moment was all her supernaturally enhanced feline reflexes needed. Without warning she leapt- "Pardon me Mistress Fuki-sama," a nervous voice suddenly interjected. -and stumbled into a rather awkward somersault. The squirrel promptly ran up a tree. "Yes?" Fuki replied, with the kind of artificial calm used by both felines and evil villains to conceal that they've just messed up at something. Recognizing the tone, the minion nervously replied, "Lord Villyn has regained consciousness. He wishes to give your orders as to how War Rocket Ajax shall be deployed." "The funny man in the armor?" Fuki asked with enthusiasm, as the feline part of her soul became dominant. "Yes Fuki-sama," the anonymous minion applied, a sweat drop suddenly forming on the back of her head. ******************************************************************* "Give it up Ramsbottom! We know it's you who's been messing up the time stream!" Aika shouted as she pointed a couple of high caliber firearms at Ramsbottom. "Ooh! What big guns you have," Annikki commented suggestively. "My dear lady, I'm afraid you are mistaken," Ramsbottom replied in a level voice. "Don't make any sudden moves," Aika said aggressively before taking a step forward and double checking the safety on one of her guns. "I'll just let myself out," Sakura said nervously as she moved towards the door. Sakura took two steps towards the door only to be confronted by another pair of firearms. "My apologies Ma'am. I'm going to have to ask you to remain within this domicile until we can conclude our investigations," Becky said in the kind of calm level monotone that conspiracy theorists hear shortly after discovering the proof they need to convince the world that they were right all along. Becky advanced took a couple steps into the room, and Agent BA-3 rapidly evaluated the threat potential of all possible opponents. Princess Annikki and Sakura were quickly dismissed as being highly unlikely to be carrying any concealed weaponry. Though Princess Rapture thought that was a premature judgement in her case. The insane and the unconscious judges were evaluated as having a null threat potential. Ramsbottom was identified as the greatest threat in the group. Hans followed Becky into the room, and advanced on Sakura. "I am Hans," he said to Sakura, apparently oblivious to both our heroines and their target. "Uh hello," Sakura said, not paying too much attention to Hans as she glanced warily at the two heavily armed magical girls. "I am very well muscled," Hans said. [Zhe digs me.] "Uh yes," Sakura said, bigsweating. ******************************************************************* "I'm alive!" Mr. Sunshine shouted as the pure joy of returning to corporeal existence went through him. "I can't wait a single moment! I have to find my darling Becky and tell her I love her! And show her all of my wonderful inventions. Life is a precious gift. This time I have to live it to the fullest!" Mr. Sunshine shouted enthusiastically. Moving with speed and grace that he never previously possessed Mr. Sunshine grabbed a couple of his greatest inventions, which included a total of three bananas, two star fruit, one tomato, and seventeen rutabagas, and raced out the door in search of his darling Becky. ******************************************************************* Yugi had spent the entire night hard at work on a ritual. Again. He knew he just had to finish one major ritual and then his mother would understand how important his work was. "Elder Ones here my plea! In the Name of the Forgotten one grant me the power to control the force I shall now unleash!" Yugi chanted. He paused for a moment and scattered dropped a pinch of ground hen's tooth into a small bowl of rose water. That done, Yugi picked up a sealed urn and sprinkled the resulting mixture on the seal. The seal began to dissolve and Yugi chanted the last words of the incantation. "As I unleash this spirit I bind it to my will! In the names of Osiris and Hephaestues-" Yugi was suddenly cut off as the urn he was holding shattered. "Thank you for freeing me mortal. As a reward I shall postpone your painful demise. Toodles!" the evil spirit said politely. ******************************************************************* MAGICAL GIRL DO-GOODERS Data File Entry #7-I, expanded: Ixupi Full name: Ixupi the Flayer of Skin. Occupation: Evil spirit, painfully ends the lives of mortals. (All statistics are rated from 1 to 10.) Intelligence: 5 Reflexes: 9 Age: Ancient. Technical: 2 Measurements: Not a physical being. Body: 5 Blood Type: See above. Looks: 2 Favourite Food: Human suffering. Charisma: 3 Least favorite food: Jerusalem Cool: 2 Artichokes. Luck: Changing. Hobbies: Ending lives. Painfully. Hit points: 1147/1228 Mana: 143/2293 AC: -10 (3 if forced to manifest physically) Abilities: -Intangible -Natural Death ray -Snazzy dresser -Master of the tango May have one of the Three Rings. Proletariat. Tap for Burn Peanut Butter. Not an Aardvark. Possibly. Background: Ancient Mayan spirit of evil. Centuries ago, Ixupi was sealed in an urn by powerful Mayan Shugenja. He has now been released and is intent on completing his task of ridding the world of life. ******************************************************************* "Whoops," Yugi said as the evil spirit departed. ******************************************************************* "Number 13, your orders are as follows. You will unleash the full power of War Rocket Ajax on the Betty Ford Clinic. The Do Gooders have made a serious tactical error gathering their forces in one place, and I shall take advantage of it. With on masterful move I shall wipe out most of the Do Gooders in one blow!" Villyn paused dramatically and adjusted the volume control on his armor's built in megaphone. "And with the Do Gooders out of the way, I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!" Fuki looked away from the window, she had been staring intently at the Chihuahua for the last fifteen minutes of Villyn's rant. Thoughts of ending its life messily ran through her mind and she wasn't sure whether they came from the feline, demonic, or human fragments of her soul. "Did you say I was supposed to destroy something?" she asked curiously. "Yes! The Betty Ford Center!" Villyn said impatiently. "Okay!" Fuki replied with enthusiasm. ******************************************************************* "Alright Ramsbottom! We want information, and we want it now!" Aika said impatiently. "You're so cute when you're authoritative," Annikki squealed enthusiastically. "In that, my dear lady is something I can oblige you with," Ramsbottom said calmly, putting down his tea. "Well?" Becky said impatiently, gesturing dangerously with on of her guns. "I believe the first piece of information I should give you, is that I am not actually Ramsbottom," he said. "Who are you then?" Aika asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowing. Suddenly, the mid-section of the faux-Ramsbottom split apart to reveal a small black cat in a well padded intricate control chamber. "I am Daisy, special operative or the Betty Ford Clinic Special Security Services," the black cat said in a calm level voice. ******************************************************************* MAGICAL GIRL DO-GOODERS Data File Entry #3-G: Daisy Full name: Daisy-Eater Occupation: Black Operative for the Betty Ford Clinic. (All statistics are rated from 1 to 10.) Intelligence: 9 Reflexes: 9 Age: Unknown, reincarnated. Technical: 6 Measurements: She's a cat. Body: 5 Blood Type: RH negative. Looks: 2 Favourite Food: Tuna. Charisma: 4 Least favorite food: Broccoli. Cool: 3 Luck: Not too bad. Hobbies: Crochet. Hit points: 36/36 Mana: 16/16 AC: 3 Abilities: -Arcane lore -Fully trained secret agent -Can rumba like nobody's business. -Immune to the effects of alcohol Generates mauve mana. Tap to negate the effects of bloodwine. Background: A former alcoholic and former advisor to the Do Gooders, Daisy accompanied the Do Gooders when they went there interred in the Betty Ford Clinic. Surprisingly, the treatment was remarkably effective on Daisy, and she was soon stone cold sober. Recognizing a talented individual when they saw one, the Betty Ford Clinic Security Division offered her a job. Graduating from the training academy with top marks, Daisy was assigned to Black Ops work, dealing with those security problems that the public never hears about. ******************************************************************* "Daisy is that you?" Becky asked, concentrating on blocking out agent BA-3 who was insisting that Daisy was actually an alien impersonator. "Yes it is. I have come to warn you about a dire threat to your friends and possibly the world," Daisy said ominously. "Nothing that can't be destroyed with sufficient fire power I'm sure," Aika said confidently. Daisy blinked. "You'll need very large weapons to deal with this," Daisy said, more cautiously. "Cool. This will be fun," Aika replied grinning in enthusiasm at the prospect of using very large weapons. "What is it anyway?" Becky asked. "Villyn has created a weapon of massive power to destroy the Do Gooders. And with them, the entire Betty Ford Clinic! That's why they sent me here," Daisy replied. "No problem," Becky replied, and grinned. ******************************************************************* Mr. Sunshine carefully examined the orange's digital display and adjusted course appropriately. "I'm coming Becky-chan!" he shouted to the empty street. ******************************************************************* Yugi looked at the fragments of the shattered urn and wondered about what he had done wrong. "Hmm, maybe I should have used black rosewater," he posited. ******************************************************************* Admin's Notes: format format format Thanks to John Evans for a quick reformat of this part.