"I'm not willing to appear in a chapter with you as author," Aika said clutching her gun protectively. "This isn't a revenge-fic. You don't have much choice in the matter," the Author replied calmly. "Perhaps we should change that," she replied threateningly. "Not today," the Author said. "Annikki?" "Hey!" Aika protested as the net was thrown over her. "I was getting lonely without you," Annikki said apologetically, as she looked possessively at the ensared magical girl. ******************************************************************* Girls With Guns: Chapter 30. "Appliances of Doom!" by Philip Barkow Series originally by David Kelk. ******************************************************************* The chair spun around. "What's the matter, agent BA-3..." Dr. Pfischer intoned, petting the black cat in his lap, "...don't you recognise your old nemesis?" "But we've never met before," Becky replied sounding slightly confused. "You claim not to know who I am," Dr. Pfischer replied in a mildy affronted tone. "Of course your identity is known to me," Agent BA-3 replied with a hint of menance in her otherwise deadpan delivery. ******************************************************************* MAGICAL GIRL DO-GOODERS Data File Entry #443-Marzipan, Dr. Pfischer Full name: Doctor Alfredo Pfischer. Occupation: Mad Scientist, Appliance Fetishist, Scientific Advisor to the forcers of evil.. (All statistics are rated from 1 to 10.) Intelligence: 8 Reflexes: 3 Age: Millennia. Technical: 10 Measurements: Unknown, his integrated blender/tape Body: 4 measure lead to rather messy results. Looks: 2 Blood Type: AB-. Charisma: 2 Favourite Food: Micro-wave dinner. Cool: 3 Least favorite food: Fresh vegetables.. Luck: Moderate Hobbies: Advising. Research. Turning attractive females into appliance based creatures under his control. Hit points: 27/38 Mana: 4/5 AC: 6 Abilities: -Mad Scientist -Appliance Mastery -Holds female victims helpless -President of the Bang Tango fan club There may be a Sith Lord concealed in his hair piece. Not a Ninja Aardvark. Possibly. Does not lose Appliance Objects to Disasters when bonked, must be killed. Background: Previously the scientific advisor to the Ottomon Emperor. After his former employer was defeated, he struck out on his own, and after successfully marketing a line of toaster ovens, he gathered resources, and successfully seized control of the international Betty Ford Franchize. ******************************************************************* "You may have defeated me last time, but this time I will be victorious!" Dr. Pfischer said, lapsing into evil laugh #45-H. "But we've never met before!" Becky protested, as, despite Agent BA-3's disproval, a sweatdrop formed on the back of her head. ******************************************************************* Gazing at her reflection in the store window, Yuki's expression became on of horror. Observering her new countenance, Yuki pondered the inhuman creature she had become. "My hair looks like I have a furry animal on my head!" Yuki said to herself, in tones of disgust That said, Yuki left in search of a hair salon that catered to the undead. ******************************************************************* The Ihuman Ensemble paused in their performance as they noticed a strange and awful noise. It was a horrible noise, the kind of noise which you can feel the wrongness of in your bones and in your soul. In short, it was not a nice noise. "It appears our audience has fallen asleep!" the Frog Handed Man said, shouting to be heard over the sound of Villyn's drunken snores. ******************************************************************* The door marked 'Tortue Implement Storeroom' opened, and Annikki strolled into the room, ignoring Yugo and his demoness. "Their selection of toys isn't as good as I'd hoped," Annikki said, sounding slightly disappointed. "Never mind that now, our first priority is to find Becky," Aki said, clearly frustrated with her alternate self. "Right, let's get going," Aika said, and promptly tripped over the bowl of choclate pudding the had been left behind by Sub-Commander [Not Avaliable at Your Clearance] spreading choclate pudding all over herself. "Let me help you get cleaned up," Annikki said enthusiastically, promptly dragging the stunned Aika toward the Storeroom. "Help," Aika said in a weak voice before the door was shut behind her. Aki and and Ryo exchanged glances, and sweatdropped. ******************************************************************* Finally ceasing his evil laughter, Dr. Pfischer pressed a button on the wall to his left, and turned his gaze back to Becky. "Hey!" Becky protested as the gigantic, automated toaster-oven closed around her. "Soon you shall become my ultimate appliance creation!" Dr. Pfischer said, and promptly lapsed back into evil laughter.