LAST TIME ON WEST EASTWOOD HIGH: Ichiiro, Makoto (girl and boy), and Aiko were sitting around eating lunch. "You know... I found out something..." Ichiiro said between bites of sushi. "What's that?" the male Makoto asked. "No one really cares what happens to us. We're a lowly Indie Impro, so..." "So what?" Aiko asked, confusedly. "Essentially we can do whatever the hell we want, because it really doesn't matter," Ichiiro said plainly. Ichiiro paled as he was attacked by both Makotos and Aiko... LAST TIME ON GENIE!: Feyd, Chelsea and the rest of the gang found the ultimate evil, destroyed it and, in the end, everyone found true love, reality was altered in horrifying ways, and in the end no one really cared, except those who had to pay the damages. However, LAST TIME ON GIRLS WITH GUNS: Somber music played on as Aika looked at the coffin: "Becky-sama. I'm so SOO sorry! I wished I said good bye before you left. I wish I could've said...'I love you'..." Behind her several meters away, Ominous music played as Aki stared at Aika. "I'll get you Girl with Gun. I'll get you for destroying my Becky..." *** On the island Gilligan, The Skipper, and the Professor found God. "If you renounce women forever, you can go home." "Sure!" Alas, Gilligan had screwed things up AGAIN. *** TIME OUT!! *** The Author looked up and said, "Why?" "This is 'Girls with Guns' Ranma X.!, not some dumb chibi Impro where...heh. Heheh. HAHAHAHAHA!!" the voice said, then stopped, as it began laughing out loud. The Author joined Zerplotty in laughter. "That's was good Zerplotty! C'mon, let's get a soda." "What about me?" "I just said, 'C'mon, Let's get a soda'. You're coming with me." "Nono. I meant 'me'." "Oh! The plot. Well, no one said I couldn't do something totally unimportant." "Indeed. It's been dome several times, usually By Woofer-san." "Ahh, Good. This is what we'll do then..." he said whispering to Zerplotty... */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* GIRLS WITH GUNS: Because it's the law. The Overly Improbable Adventures of Improfanfic's Co-Mascots Started By: David Kelk, dkelk@sympatico.ca This Chapter By: Ranma X. drstupid@geocities.com Hosted at: Improfanfic, http://www.improfanfic.com Episode Fifty-one: The 'Girls with Guns' Magical Mystery Tour! */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* Aika, Becky, Villyn, Jack, and Kasumi were in the Controversial Machine, A spruced up VW van with various psychedelic colors and controversial slogans, such as the "If you can read this, I'm probably giving you the finger, tailgater!" bumper sticker and the "Honk if you love Donkey sex!" sign. It was presently traveling along a rather deserted country highway. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* MAGICAL GIRL DO-GOODERS Data File Entry #36-Delta: The Controversial Machine Full Name: The "Ultimate Trippy Controversial Machine" Occupation: Trippy, 70's Beatles' eqsue VW van and transport Unit for Controversial Jack (All statistics are rated from one to ten in, of all things, base 10) Intelligence: 10* Age: 24(1976) Reflexes: 3 Measurements: EAT ME3 Technical: 10 Blood Type: Jiffy Lube Body: 4(7 with regular tune up)Favorite Food: Techron Looks: 4* Least Favorite Food: Sugar Charisma: 3* Hobbies: Tranportation, breaking down. Cool: 8* Luck: Ranges from 4 to 9 every 30,000 miles Hit Points: 125/159 Mana: 6/16 AC: 0 Abilities: -Can move people to places -Can hold 70 empty boxes of Pizza -only 70,000 miles (give or take 120,000) Can piss off everyone within a 30,000' radius Tends to attract its passengers to bad mystry episodes. Tap to play Trippy 70's music */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* Jack said, "Gee gang, It's getting dark." "Is there a diner around here?" Aika said with Becky interjecting, "Ryeah! Ri'm rungry!" "We'll eat soon gang, but I need to find a place that serves seal." The car plodded along when, suddenly, it hit a large bump and stopped. Jack left the car and looked at the front tires which had blown out due to embedded antlers and gore on both the remains of the tires and the grill of the van. "Aww...I should've figured I was pushing it with that moose..." "Jinkies. It seems we have a problem." Villyn said. "Yeah. Hey gang, look! Over that hill! It's a seemingly abandoned house in the middle of nowhere. "Rr-ow! Rhere rmay rbe rood Raika!" "Yeah Becky." "They might have a phone we can use as well, " Kasumi said softly. "Oh. While we're waiting for a tow truck, I can order some midget porn," Jack said as he and the other's left the car. The group walked towards the house and knocked on the door. The door collapsed into a pile of sawdust and everyone blinked: "Ri'm rinda rared Raika!" "I'm scared too, Becky." "Jinkies." "Hey, that was pretty cool." "Oh my." The five walked inside the fairly decrepit building. Looking around, Jack found an old telephone and picked it up. There was no dial tone, but a shrill scream emanated through the house. "Hmm...odd telephone company..lesee 555-" "LEAVE THIS PLACE!!" "121-..oh damn, I misdialed," Jack said, placing the phone back and then picking it up again and resumed dialing. "LEAVE THIS PLACE!!" Becky shivered and jumped onto Aika who caught her as she herself was shaking in fright. "Jinkies," Villyn said, adjusting his coke-bottle glasses. "Oh my, that doesn't sound good for us," Kasumi said. "Maybe it's a mystery." "A Mystery?" "Jinkies, A mystery?" "Ra rystery?" "Pipe down! I'm calling triple-A!" Kasumi sighed and took the phone from Jack and hung it up. She stood facing him, thus leaving he back turned to the others. "Now Jack-sama, you know as well as I do, it's a mystery," she said winking rapidly. Jack blinked and said: "Oh-OH! Oh yes, indeed!" he said, smiling lasciviously as he attempted to cop a feel before Kasumi looked at him sternly. He stopped and said: "Um..oh yeah! Okay, we need to find out who that voice is and why it wants us to leave. We'll split up. Aika, you, Becky, and Villyn go upstairs. Kasumi and I will search outside and in the basement." "Why do we always split up?" Aika asked. "Ri'm rared Raika." "Well, it may be just a killer. Or a ghost. A demon, a-" Villyn said, causing Becky to be totally scared and jump on Aika in fright. "Ah! Becky! You gotta stop doing that!" "Roh, Rorry." "Okay," Jack said. "We'll meet back in an hour." He looked at Kasumi who smiled and blushed a bit. "Um...make that two." */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* Becky, Aika, and Villyn looked around as they walked through a hallway. "It seems to be okay..." Aika said. "LEAVE NOW!!!" Aika gulped as Becky shivered in fright. "Guess not," she said as the three ended up at the end of a hall with no paths to the side and a mirror and two candle on horizontally opposed sides of the wall about Becky's height. "Jinkies. It might be a secret entrance," Villyn said, adjusting his glasses. "It couldn't be Villyn, that would be too obvious." "Ryeah, roo robrious." Aika then looked at herself in the mirror. Instead of her reflection showing through the glass, a ghostly image of a lonely woman showed. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* MAGICAL GIRL DO-GOODERS Data File Entry 476.9098*10^-3: THE GHOST Full Name: The ectoplasmic entity of this episode Occupation: Haunting people, managing stock portfolios. (All statistics are rated from one to ten in, of all things, base 10) Intelligence: 6 Age: dead several years Reflexes: 7 Measurements: you want to ask her? Technical: 2 Blood Type: Ectoplasm Body: 10 Favorite Food: Pizza Looks: 8 Least Favorite Food: Burritos Charisma: 5 Hobbies: Scaring people, corporate takeovers. Cool: 8 Luck: 3 Hit Points: 149/160 Mana: 13/20 AC: -2 Abilities: -Can scare -Can spot an IPO a mile away -Moonlights as a pizza chef. Can scare the pants off ya'(tm) Tends to cause bad chase scenes. Tap to get in on 3 to 1 stock split. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* "Wow... I need to exfoliate badly. Becky, remind me to get some alpha-hydroxy and-" "LEAVE THIS PLACE!!" the ghost said from the other side of the mirror" "Yoinks!" Aika said and she jumped up in fright and hit the right candle, knocking the candle holder down and revealing a trap door, which opened up beneath Aika, Becky and Villyn, causing them to fall down a chute. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* Meanwhile, Jack and Kasumi were...um...heh...h_h...um..H_H.... Well, lets just say their 'activities' were now illegal in the lower 48 states... */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* Villyn, Becky, and Aika landed in a small pile of clothes. "What the?" Aika said. "Jinkies." "Rooow.." Upon inspection, it seemed to a be a laundry room, however all the clothes seemed to have been covered in phosphorous paint. In fact a small can of said paint stood to the side. "A clue." Villyn said. "What do you mean?" Aika asked. "The ghost can't be real since its clothes used this paint." "Ah. But what about those other clothes over there?" She said pointing behind Villyn. "What other clothes?" Villyn asked. "Those over there, " Aika said, pointing at a small pile of clothes. "Well those can't be the ghosts!" "Why is that?" "Those are Jack and Kasumi's....oh. my. god." Villyn said fainting. Indeed walking a few steps past the pile of Jack and Kasumi's things, Aika and Becky found said couple and immediately ran away. Jack said, "Did you hear something?" "I don't think so dear, but the mask with the earmuffs make it hard to see..." */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* The ghost came through the passageway and came upon Jack and Kasumi, blushed, closed its eyes and came upon Becky and Aika. "Yoinks!" "LEAVE!" the ghost said as the chase was on. Bad 60's psychedelic music began playing in the background steadily. Becky and Aika ran throughout the house, trying desperately to escape the ghost. They had no such luck as the ghost kept following them. They were eventually led into another trap door which caused them to fall right on top of Kasumi and Jack. Frantically, the four were now running, though Kasumi has having a bit of a time running with the ankle chains. Again, they ran around the entire house, in many hilarious looking door-entrance and exit scenes. Then suddenly, Jack stopped. "Wait!" the said stopping, causing Becky to run into him, followed by Becky, Aika, and the ghost. It also wasn't a bright idea to have stopped at the top of a stairwell. The crowd of people fell at the bottom of the stairwell, the ghost lodged between some floorboards. "HaHaMUAHHAHAHAH!! Um...I mean, ha! Now we'll see who the ghost REALLY is!" Jack said, "..but first, let me put my pants back on and get Velma, I mean Villyn..." A few minutes later, Jack and Kasumi were dressed in their normal garb, though Kasumi still had the collar on, to Becky and Aika's confusion. "Allright ghost! let's see who you are!" Aika said pulling the mask. "Mr. Peterson, my English teacher?!" Aika said. "Wait," Villyn said, "That's another mask!" "Oh," Aika said as Becky pulled the next mask! "Kim Kaphwan?" they pulled another mask. "Don Knots?!" "Woofer?!" "Twoflower?!" Kasumi and Jack said in confusion. "Who's Twoflower?" Aika asked. "Itami?" "Destructo Dustpan?" "Rell, rhat rakes rense." "No wait, it's another mask," Villyn said. "Fourthy?!" "Zerplotty?" "No! He's having a soda with me!" the author bellowed. "This is getting ridiculous. How can you breathe with so many masks?" Kasumi said. "Wait!" jack said, "It's the last one!" he said as Becky pulled up the last mask. "AKI?!!" everyone was shocked. "Rell, rhat rame rout rof reft reild.." The ghost Aki said, "Yes, it was me." "But..But, but, Jinkies, why?" "No reason...just a bad plot contrivance. And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling, uh girls with guns, father, and horny deities..." "Ro Ridding...Recky Recky Roo!!" Becky said indignantly. "Anyways, now that that's over. Can I at least treat you to some pizza before this chapter is over?" Aki asked. "Pizza? Sure!" "Ryeah rizza!" "Okay," Villyn said, adjusting his glasses. "No thanks, me and Kasumi have to...uh, run some errands," he said, causing Kasumi to blush. "Okay then, we'll see you at the controversial machine later," Aika said. "Much later," Jack said as he and Kasumi ran like a bunch of um...horny people back to the van and well...back to the author and Zerplotty.... */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* "Sooo, what did you think?!" "That was horrible!!" "And?" "Well...it was bad. OOC, no plot, you copied a Scooby-Doo episode! And a bad one at that!" "Whatever. I'm going home!" "No, no! you can't! You have to fix this you have to You-!" Zerplotty said as Ranma X. left the room. "You know I'm lonely..." Author notes: You can all draw, quarter and hang me now! I did everything I could to make this either unreadable or funny. Whatever, I was waiting for this. Have fun and I'll be cruising the Indie sites(Genie), writing Wings of Fate #3, and coming up on the H! Flash(after Woofer of all people!) and FAQing Hostile. See ya! Ranma X. flames are to be directed to drstupid@geocities.com . . . . . . . . . . . . . You're still here? . . . the fic's over. . . go on. . . go.