W4 walked to the GwG Studios.  With every step, he muttered to himself,
"Must not fire the mascots.  Must not fire the mascots."
	(He had been "convinced" by his fellow authros to have them stay.  When
I say "convince," I mean "threatened with enough heavy artillery to frag a
Sayajin.")
	He got to the studio entrance...
	...and was violently knocked aside as the doors swung open.
	Aika and Becky skipped out.  "WE QUIT!" they singsonged.
	"WHAT?!?" W4 shouted.
	Aika explained, "We got a gig on 'Sinfest!'  We're gone!  Later!"
Having said that, they left.
	"Uh... oh..." W4 muttered.

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GIRLS WITH GUNS

The Improbable Adventures of Improfanfic's Co-Mascots
Started By: David Kelk, dkelk@sympatico.ca
This Chapter By: W4, the Mad Author (woofersan@home.com)

Hosted at: Improfanfic, http://www.improfanfic.com

Episode Fifty-Three:	NO MASCOTS FOR YOU!

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AUTHOR'S WARNING:

Your clothes are on too tight.  Remove them at once.

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	Inside the studios, two individuals engaged in a serious conversation.
	"Meep.  Meepity meep meep," Controversial Newt said.
	Newtriversial Jack nodded and responded, "Moop mooper moopity moop
moop."
	Truer words were never spoken.

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	"Okay!" the director shouted.  "Quiet on the set!  Episode Fifty-Three
of 'Girls With Guns.'  Scene One.  Take One.  ACTION!"
	Iori Yagami, dressed as Aika, and Henchi Hakuchi, dressed as Becky,
walked onstage.
	"Hey, Aika!" Henchi greeted.  "What day is it?"
	Iori set Henchi on fire and shouted, "DIE!"
	"CUT!"

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	Zerplotty and Anfourthy watched with amusement visible on their faces.
	"So," Anfourthy purred.  "Do you think anybody will notice the
difference?
	Zerplotty sighed.  "Definitely," he answered.  "There isn't anyone in
impro that's like those two girls.  Finding replacements is going to be no
small task."
	Anfourthy giggled.  "Well, I've got an idea."  She then began to
whisper in Zereth's ear.
	His face turned beet-red.
	"Well," Zereth mumbled, clearing his throat.  "Those are very.. unique
suggestions.  I especially like the one involving the licorice rope.  But how
are any of thsoe going to solve this current situation?"
	"Oh," Anfourthy gasped.  "I just had an idea..."

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	"Quiet on the set!  Episode Fifty-Three of 'Girls With Guns.'  Scene
One.  Take Five.  ACTION!"
	Naga, dressed as Aika, and Shiro, dressed as Becky, walked onstage.
	"..." said Shrio.
	"OH, HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO!  I, Naga the White Serpent, have not
forgotten my lines unlike some other bishounnen-wannabes on this set!"
	The director groaned, "Cut.  Someone get me an Aspirin."

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	The Mad Pecker regarded his current company.
	"So let me get this straight," he spoke slowly.  "You want me to what?"
	The Creepy, Shadowy, Ominous-Looking Figure replied, "I want you to
kidnap someone for me."
	The Mad Pecker thought about this.  "Who do you want me to kidnap?"
	The Creepy, Shadowy, Ominous-Looking Figure answered, "You must go to
the land of the Contrived Plot Devices and capture the Old Guy That Knows
Everything About Everything and bring him here.  He might upset my plans."
	"And what will I get in return?" the Mad Pecker asked.
	"A jar of Pringles."
	"Mr. Creepy, Shadowy, Ominous-Looking Figure, you've got yourself a
deal."

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	"Quiet on the set.  Episode Fifty-Three of 'Girls With Guns.'  Scene
One.  Take Thirteen.  Action."
	Zathras and B1FF walked onto the stage.
	"CUT!"
	"But Zathras-"
	"WH@T TH3 H377?"

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	Jinnai and Akane plotted.
	"Are you sure this is a wise idea?" Jinnai asked.
	Akane sighed.  "We've been over this time and time again.  All of the
cool villain pairs are doing it.  And if we want to be taken seriously, we'll
have to do it, too."
	Jinnai grumbled, "But these pinch me!"
	"TOUGH!" Akane growled.  "Now come look at yourself in the mirror!"
	Jinnai and Akane stood in front of the mirror.
	Jinnai was dressed like James.
	Akane was dressed like Jessie.
	Akane smiled cruelly.  "I think we make quite the intimidating pair,"
she stated.  "Now, let's practice our motto."
	Jinnai shirked.  "Do we have to?" he whined.
	Akane glared spitefully at him.  "YES!" she stated.
	Jinnai sighed.  They took their poses.
	"TO PROTECT CHIBI-IMPRO FROM BAD STAGNATION!" Akane shouted.
	"To unite all chibis within our nation," Jinnai monotoned.
	Akane hit Jinnai with a mallet.  "With feeling!" she ordered.
	Jinnai sighed.
	"TO UNITE ALL CHIBIS WITHIN OUR NATION!" Jinnai shouted.
	"TO MAKE ZANY JOKES AND O-C-RS!"
	"TO KNOCK THE PROTAGONISTS INTO THE STARS!"
	"AKANE!"
	"JINNAI!"
	"GWG ROCKET BLASTS OFF WITH MALLETS IN HAND!"
	"SURRENDER NOW, OR YOU'LL GET CANNED!"
	Shampoo-Neko popped up between them.  "MEOW!" she shouted.  "JUST AS WE
PLANNED!"
	Akane shrieked and started chasing Shampoo-Neko with a mallet.  "Get
back here!" she shouted as Shampoo-Neko ran off.
	Jinnai whimpered.

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	"Quiet on the set.  Episode Fifty-Three of 'Girls With Guns.'  Scene
One.  Take Twenty-Six.  Action."
	Dan rolled onto the stage.
	"Cut," the director whimpered.
	A loud, crashing noise was heard.
	"WHAT THE-?" the director shouted.
	The crew turned in the direction of the crash.  "Is that a spaceship?"
the gaffer asked aloud.
	A boisterous-looking man climbed out of the spaceship.  "HA HA HA!
If Timmy thinks his Ballcrusher can destory me, Captain Twinky Bastard and the
*deep breath* ZEITGEIST EGGBEATER, *deep breath* then he's got another thing
coming!  BYA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
	Unfortunately, said *deep breath* ZEITGEIST EGGBEATER *deep breath*
exploded, completely vaporizing the GwG set and everyone on it.

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	Zerplotty blinked.  "That... wasn't your idea.  Was it?" he asked
Anfourthy.
	Anfourthy shook her head.  "My idea was to..."
	She whispered in Zerplotty's ear.
	Zerplotty nosebled.

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	The director, who, by some plot device, had the ability to turn his
body into vapor and back, reformed himself and looked at the studio.
	"Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit..." he muttered.
	Yuki and Sakura came running from the HHH and Ultra studios.
	"What's going on?  We were filming the scene where Gai and I kiss and
make up, and then we hear a loud loud loud interrupting explosion!" Yuki
blabbered.
	Sakura added, "And I was in the middle of my big, romantic scene with
David!"
	The director threw Aika and Becky costumes at the two girls.  "YOU!"
he shouted, throwing Becky's clothes at Yuki.  "ARE BECKY!  AND YOU!"  He
threw Aika's clothes at Sakura.  "ARE AIKA!"
	Yuki and Sakura blinked.
	"AND I!" the director shouted.  "AM THE FOUL NEMESIS SERENDIPITY
VILLAIN!  BLEARGH!"
	The director ran at Yuki and Sakura.
	Yuki and Sakura ran like hell.

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Author's notes:

*jibberjibberjibberjibberjibberjibberjibberjibber*