As I stood there, in a no-win situation (as usual), I decided it was time to look back on my life. Really look back. I wanted to discover what dark chain of events led up to my inevitable demise here on a badly lit street somewhere downtown. + + + IMPROFANFIC PRESENTS: Magical Girl Hunters Created by Aaron Shattuck This part by Spencer Cody Chapter 9: Substandard Interlude Trash + + + Let me think back, way back, to why I first became an assassin targeting magical girls. Who wouldn't be hard pressed to figure how the hell this happened? I mean, at High School career day, I recalled going to the carpentry booth and being mildly interested in the wide world of hammer-related injuries and 2-inch splinters. But soon after that, everything went askew. Itami had about as much aim in life as I did, and we were already friends. How much more convenient can you get if you're on the road to becoming a pair of untrained and indiscriminate killers? So anyway, I believe it happened in our senior year, 1995... + + + "So Itami...we've graduated from High School." "Yeah." "Got any plans? Y'know, for the future?" "None in particular." "Well, I was looking into architecture in that career day. I think it pays pretty well." "I was thinking of trying my hand in a dart league." "......What?" "Nothing." "...Dar-" "Nothing. How much money you have?" "About 7800 yen. Wanna go eat out?" "Sure." [Errr, wait, that was the week before...] "Okay, what are our resources? Do we have any experience doing anything?" "I regularly went and helped at an old folks' home." "Wow, Itami, really? I wouldn't have figured you..." "I didn't actually do that, just trying to lighten up the situation." "This is serious. My parents are going to kick me out, and I won't have anyone to mooch off of." "My mom doesn't care too much about me. Her telemarketing is pretty profitable." "So glad to hear that. So we don't have any skills, huh?" "Well, I can hunt." "...I'd almost like to think that'd be useful." "Well, what about all the John Woo movies we saw the other day?" "Don't even pretend you're being serious." + + + This fetching conversation evolved into plans for a small assassination team within the following month. Armed with Itami's late father's 12 gauge, there was but one step left: deciding our demographic (gun fodder). Seeing as there were many other professional squads out there on the brown/black/shades of gray market, we had to stand out in some way. The deciding factor...a hat. + + + "Here, pick one." "You've just put a hat in my face, Itami. Why?" "Pick one." "...Postal employees?" "Don't like that one?" "What?" "These are our options for potential targets." "In an ordinary hat?" "People that many would like to see dead." "Postal employees?" "Pick." "Sunday newspaper columnists?" "..." "What the?! 'Bishoujo Mahou Senshi'?" "Yep. Evil forces that want them dead, right?" "The ones that always fail?" "Yes." "...So why not hire someone who's not manipulated by clichés?" "Got it..." "Yoi Kurasaka and Itami Daikoku, the 'magical girl hunters'. Hmm, has less than a ring to it." + + + And that's how the epic story began. Two guys straight out of High School decide to go into business as young girl-murdering mercenaries. It brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it? 3 years later, after many profitable ventures, our ass is up against the wall for what seems the final time. It's funny how karma chooses total annihilation for payback, as opposed to repeated subtle incidents, such as falling down a flight of stairs... + + + http://pixelscapes.com/improfanfic/