And now, it's time for yet ANOTHER thrilling installment of...

                         Magical Girl Hunters

Episode 18: First Kiss!

by John D. Evans (jevans@datablast.net)

Presented by ImproFanfic (http://pixelscapes.com/improfanfic/)

Magical Girl Hunters created by Aaron Shattuck

Caution: This story contains depictions of people and things dying in
unpleasant ways, not to mention some strong words.  But there's actually not
as much blood in this chapter, really.  Like you care, you sick little monkey.

This episode also edited by my alternate personalities.  Say hi, guys.
Cover: Hi, guys.  (snicker)
Vedic: That does it.  *whack*
Cover: Good pain SIR!!!
Keikaku: Woohoo!  I got developed as a character!
Bandolier: Get ON WITH IT!

Uh, right....so, without further ado, let's start the episode off with a bang!

=====

    BOOM!

    "Yoi!  Yoi!"

    I blinked, and struggled toward consciousness.  Someone was calling me...

    After a moment, I could make out Aika in front of me, holding my
shoulders.  Her hair was hanging down...that must mean I was lying on my back.
Oh, that's right, I had almost blown myself up...

    I coughed, and tried to sit up.  Aika immediately looked relieved, and
pulled me into a sitting position.  I actually didn't feel that bad, she must
have done that 'Beautiful field' thing on me...

    I guess I should probably explain what happened before I go any further.
See, I had been tied up by Ramsbottom and his 'Magical Women', and my little
ploy to get free hadn't worked (thanks a lot, Koi!), so I had gone for the old
standby: a (relatively) low-power grenade.

    Looking around, I saw the three 'Magical Women' (just can't get used to
that term, somehow) lying unconscious, thus confirming my suspicious that
their Magical-ness would keep them from being reduced to small pieces.  I also
noticed Itami and H, who were warily watching...

    Ramsbottom.

    I didn't think a grenade would hurt him...yet, something seemed to be
wrong.  He was...flickering, like a TV with a bad antenna.

    "Most impressive," he said, static in his voice matching the flickering.
"A more subtle ploy than I would have expected of you...Mr. Kurasaka.  If it
was a ploy at all, and not just a coincidence.  But then, as the saying goes,
it's smarter to be lucky than it's lucky to be smart."

    My brain still wasn't up to full speed, so all I said was, "I'll buy
that."

    "Since you did accept the deal before trying to escape, I'll assume you
will still complete the commission.  If not...you'll be hearing from me.  Good
luck."  He shrank to a little dot of light, which zoomed out the door.

    "Yoi!"

    I blinked at Aika, still feeling a few bits of raw seafood short of a
sushi platter.

    She looked at me worriedly.  "Are you okay?  We were in these dungeon
cells, and I didn't know...well...I thought..." She blushed.

    Well, Reika had said Aika had a crush on me, and it was pretty obvious
now.  But I liked Reika better...I thought.  Unless she'd betrayed us.  I
definitely needed more time to think about this, so I just smiled and said,
"Yeah, I'm okay.  How about you?"

    Aika beamed.  "I'm fine!  But...Itami doesn't seem himself, somehow."

    "Yeah, I remember how he..." I blinked.  I realized that I knew what had
happened with Itami and Aika in the cell...and that short guy busting through
the wall.  Like I'd seen it in a dream or something.  Needless to say, that
was more than a bit disturbing, but I filed it away for future reference and
moved over to inspect Itami.

    Itami was carrying H (Kasumi!, I thought with a mental grin), who was
still in a straitjacket.  They were currently looking at each other in a way
that could only be described as hungry.  This was nothing new for H, but the
only time I'd seen Itami look at all emotional was when...

    I had a sudden hunch, and went with it, just because things had been
happening too quickly for me to think too rationally.  I walked up to Itami,
stuck my face in his and yelled, "Hey, SWORD!  You in there?"

    I felt sure I was going to die from the look H gave me, but Itami seemed
almost...scared.  Then he shuddered, dropped H, bent over...and threw up the
sword.

    I really don't want to describe it in any more detail.  I'll just say that
somehow there wasn't any blood, and when Itami looked back at me he was his
old self again.  Except for the fact that he said "Thanks"...which, for him,
was pretty damn effusive.  But then, doing what he just did would probably
make me feel a bit odd too.

    "No problem," I said, sounding quite a bit more confident than I felt.
"Now we should get out of here."

    "Why?" Aika said.

    We all stared at her.

    She blushed.  "I mean, they captured us and stuff.  Shouldn't we do
*something*?"  She looked around at the unconscious magical girls with a
thoughtful expression.

    "Er, no, wait," I said quickly.  "These girls are...well, hell, it's too
long a story.  Let's just say that too much has gone down here for one day
already."

    Aika pouted.  "But we're always running away..."

    I sighed, and reached out to squeeze her shoulder.  "I know.  But I'm just
too tired right now.  I'm sorry, Aika."

    Aika looked at me, and for a moment I saw deep into her eyes.  Not again,
I thought, not now...but then she just nodded.

    "All right," I said, "has anyone seen Reika?"  I winced internally as
Aika's expression froze over.  "Or Kyo or Mai?" I added lamely.

    "Oh, the hell with them, let's just get out of here!" H snapped.

    "But..." I looked around.  "...Uh...wait a minute.  Which way do we go to
get out?"

    We all looked around.  There were no windows in evidence...anywhere.  Just
rooms leading to more rooms.

    "Uhoh," I muttered.

=====

    Fifteen minutes later, we were still looking for the exit.

    The place wasn't a maze...it was more like a box.  Every time we went far
enough to the...let's call it 'north', or to the 'south', we ran into a room
with no exit that way.  We were slowly working our way 'east' from the room
the 'Magical Women' had passed out in.

    There were absolutely no windows.  After a dozen rooms of this (we took it
slow and paranoid), it got really creepy.

    It might not have been so bad if the rooms weren't so tastefully
decorated.

    "Curved," Itami muttered.

    We all looked at him.

    "What do you mean, partner?" I asked after a moment.

    "The rooms curve that way."  He gestured to the 'south'.

    "Yeah, I noticed it too," Aika piped up.

    I blinked, and stared around, then rubbed my eyes.  My head still hurt
from the explosion, and I was feeling a bit green around the gills.  I
probably wouldn't be able to hit an elephant with a nine mil if it was a meter
in front of me, but I tried to force myself to think.

    "Okay," I said.  "We're sort of in a curving rectangle...and the outside
of the curve is..." I looked around.  "This wall."  I pounded on it a couple
of times.  "Wood paneling...maybe just plaster behind it.  Maybe we can get
through.  Anyone got any ideas?"

    Everyone walked over to pound on the wall too, which meant they had their
backs turned when the short guy in black armor flew through the room.

    "Hey, it's that same guy who rescued me," H exclaimed, after we all
recovered enough to stow our implements of destruction again.

    "Hm...wonder why he was in such a hurry..."  A hunch scrabbled up my
spine, and I spun around to see...

    Short guys in cute armor.

    Fortunately, they were about three rooms behind us, but they moved fast on
those stumpy little legs.  I scanned the room.

    "Get that bookcase!" I yelled, hustling over to the door.  As I closed it,
a wave of dizziness hit me.  Fortunately Aika caught me as I staggered back,
or I might have damaged a rather valuable-looking vase.

    Aika set me down on the floor, out of the way of Itami and H, who were in
the midst of the most useful grunting and sweating of their lives as they
hauled the bookcase into position.

    "You're not really okay, are you, Yoi?" Aika said softly.  I stared up at
her.  I have to confess I wasn't thinking straight at that point; for some
reason, I kept thinking about the day she asked me how I felt about Reika...

    "I'm sorry, Aika," I croaked.

    She shook her head.  "No, it was all our fault for getting captured at the
Happydrome."

    I blinked at her and realized she wasn't talking about what I was talking
about.  "I think I got a mild concussion," I managed to say.  "All this
running..."

    "Oh..." Aika blinked back tears and hugged me.  I was just conscious
enough to notice how...mature she was.  "I'm so sorry, Yoi...I don't think I
realized what a strain trying to lead us all is on you."

    "'Sokay, Aika...can't let you all down, after all." I murmured, and smiled
sickly.  She blinked back tears, and smiled back at me.  Then, the world
seemed to slow down.  Her face moved towards mine...

    "Hey, Yoi!  The door's pretty well blockaded, but we gotta get out of
here!"  H, of course, being her usual self.

    Aika spun at her.  "Dammit, Yoi was injured trying to get us out of here,
and he wasn't even complaining, and you've done nothing but be a magical
BITCH!"

    I sat up and tried to make sense of my visual input.  H almost seemed
willing to back down, until Aika threw out the 'magical bitch' comment; then
her eyes narrowed in a way I found all too familiar.

    "And who are YOU to talk, little *girl*?  Not even out of high school yet,
and you're playing at being a soldier!  Well, let me tell you something,
little missy, you're just getting in our WAY!"

    I saw Aika get very pale at that.  Even through my haze of pain, I still
managed to get a couple things clicking in my head; we'd been reluctant to
take Aika on, plus she saw her chief rival as Reika, who was older...

    Maybe I was just too nice a guy, but I couldn't let Aika be hurt like
that.

    "That's enough!" I yelled, getting to my feet.  I felt pretty bad, and
must have looked it, too, because even H seemed a bit concerned.  "H, you
apologize to Aika right now."  She opened her mouth, but I cut her off.  "You
were all acting under my leadership, so you want to yell at someone, yell at
me.  But don't be a magical bitch to Aika, she doesn't deserve it.  I would
have thought after everything YOU'VE gone through you'd be a little more
sympathetic."

    H and I glared at each other.  I noticed Aika throwing some bewildered
looks at me, but I didn't blink.  Finally, H lowered her eyes and looked away.

    "I...didn't mean that," she muttered.  "I know Yoi well enough that he
wouldn't bring you along if you got in the way."

    I nodded, trying to hide my amazement at having stared down Sailor H.

    "Partner," Itami said.

    I blinked at him.  "Itami?"

    "Not much time."

    I stared at the door.  It did seem about ready to give, even with the
stuff Itami and H and piled against it.  "Uh...okay," I said.  "We have to get
through that wall..." I turned to the wall.

    THUMP!

    We all stared.

    KRUMP!

    "Something's coming through the wall," Aika said...

    KRUMSH!

    "Okay...get ready, everyone."  I was too tired for a more specific plan.

    KRAKKSH!  The wood paneling splintered outward, letting through a glimpse
of dead white skin.  My blood felt cold at its familiarity.  Itami, H and Aika
all stood poised...

    KRAAAKKSH!  A thing broke through the wall, sunlight pouring in behind it.
It was just like one I had called up with one of Ramsbottom's toys...a huge
white creature that stood like a bear, with no face.  Reika had called it a
shambler...

    It stepped into the room and bellowed.  It was wearing a sort of harness,
and on its back--

    "Whoa there, Slibby!"

    I gaped.  "Keikaku?"

    "Yoi!  I finally found you!"  Keikaku grinned at me from the...saddle, I
guess it was, on the shambler's back.  "I shoulda kept a closer eye on you.
Come on, let's get out of here."

    "Who the hell is this, Yoi?" H snapped, never one to mince words.

    "Keikaku, he's an old friend of mine.  You remember him, right, Itami?"
At Itami's nod, H's anger drained away.  Good thing I had him around.  "So,
what's up, Keikaku?" I said, not knowing what else was appropriate.

    "Major shit's going down, Yoi," he replied.  "We gotta leave, now.  Come
on."  He tugged on the...reins, I guess they were, and the shambler turned and
stomped out the wall into the sun.  We followed him, stepping out onto a
ledge...

    ...That was six stories above the ground.

    "I'll be damned," I muttered to myself.  We hadn't moved more than a few
hundred feet all night.  The 'Magical Women Mansion' had been built into the
side of the Happydrome.  That's why it was curved, with no outside exits.
There was probably a stairway somewhere that was the only way off the floor...

    I looked down, and nearly lost my tea.  The height and the concussion were
a bad combination.  I staggered back into the room.

    Keikaku hopped down from his...steed, and followed me.  "Anything wrong,
Yoi?" he asked.  Aika came in behind him and watched the blockaded door
nervously.

    "I got injured," I said weakly.  "Mild concussion, maybe.  If I was
healthy Aika could carry me down, or something, but I can't do it now."

    "I got an idea, then," he said.  I looked at him blearily.  He seemed
hesitant, for some reason.

    "We're on a tight schedule," I snapped.  "Out with it."

    "Okay," he said, holding up his hands.  "Sorry.  The thing is, there's
these people that want to talk to you and possibly hire you--"

    "Oh, COME on..."

    "--and the only way to get to them is a magical portal, which I can make
right here so you can go see them, and then afterwards they can drop you off
at your office or apartment or wherever you feel like.  And they can probably
treat you too."  He eyed me with concern.  "So, what do you say?"

    I stared at him.  By now I was ready to retire, I'd been jerked around by
so many people, and things.  Keikaku must have understood my expression.
"Yoi," he said softly, "these are honest people.  They're fair.  I'm working
for them myself right now.  That's why I'm here to rescue you and your
friends.  All they want is a chance to talk, you can refuse and go on your way
and nothing bad will happen."  He paused.  "Of course, then you won't get any
help in dealing with, say, Ultra, or Ramsbottom..."

    "Do it, Yoi," Aika said suddenly.  "I don't want you doing anything
dangerous when you're like this."

    I eyed her.  "And walking into a magical portal to meet yet another client
isn't dangerous?"

    She met my gaze calmly.  "Do you trust this guy?"

    I looked back at Keikaku.  He looked genuinely concerned.  I remembered
meeting him back in high school.  He'd been an easygoing sort of guy, but you
could always count on him when the chips were down.  He had an almost neurotic
desire to help people.  Maybe that was why he ran that little fortune telling
place...bargain psychotherapy, or something.

    I sighed.  "Yeah, I trust him.  All right, let's get it over with."

    Keikaku smiled and gently slapped me on the back.  "Thanks, Yoi.  Now, do
you have the knife I gave you?"

    I fumbled inside my jacket and found it, but it slipped from my hands and
dropped on the floor.  Keikaku picked it up and studied it.  "Hmmm, yes, of
course.  Very good."  He said something that sounded rather garbled, then
stabbed the air with the knife...and it sank in.  He pulled down,
making a tear in space, which he stretched apart, revealing an impenetrable
darkness.

    I guess it was just my day for staring at things in bewilderment.  Keikaku
smiled and handed me the knife back.  I glanced down and noticed that it was
still a bit bloody.  I hadn't had time to clean it properly after Captain
Kawaii...

    "Well, there you go, Yoi, just step through.  Anywhere I should tell your
crew to meet you?"

    I blinked at him for a moment before my thoughts focused.  "Oh...uh...
yeah.  How about...well, what time is it now?"

    "About 11 AM."

    "Okay, make it...7PM, at...my apartment.  Yeah."

    "Got that, Aika?"  She nodded.  "Okay, if you're going to want to talk to
me, I can't make it, so I'll try to be there around by 8."

    "Yeah, that's definitely a good idea," I muttered.

    Keikaku grinned.  "You'll be okay, Yoi, you haven't even lost your sense
of sarcasm."

    I glanced back at Aika.  "You'll be okay?"

    She smiled at me.  I really didn't want to hurt her..."I'll be fine."  She
blinked.  "Keikaku, how will you get down from here?"

    "Oh, Slibby and I will manage."  He grinned that almost-insane grin.

    A particularly loud crack came from the blockaded door.  "Well, I guess I
should be going," I said.  Of course, the prospect of the black space didn't
really appeal to me, but...

    "Don't worry, Yoi," Keikaku told me.  "Things will get better from here."

    I gave him my best Itami 'when hell freezes over' look, and stepped
through...

=====

    I woke up.

    At least, that's what it felt like.  One moment I was stepping into
nothingness, the next I was sitting at a table in a dark room...

    I looked around.  Hell, maybe I was still asleep, because this 'room' was
pretty weird.  I was sitting at one end of a long table, like you might find
in a conference room, and some rather odd characters were sitting at it as
well, but I'll get to them in a moment.  The table and chairs were the only
visible objects in the 'room'; beyond it was more black space.  There was
enough light to see by, but not much more, and no indication of where the
light was coming from.

    I took a moment to look down.  I couldn't see any floor, but my feet could
feel something solid, which was sort of a relief.

    The strangest thing about the 'room' was how it felt like a dream.  For
some reason, reality felt...malleable, somehow, like at any moment something
impossible would happen that would seem perfectly reasonable.  But at the same
time, I could tell that it felt like a dream, and I could wonder whether it
was one or not, a level of thought which I'd never been able to achieve in
dreams.

    I felt like I'd go insane if I thought about it too hard, so I studied the
other occupants of the 'room'...which turned out to be sort of like hitting my
head with a hammer to take my mind off a toothache.

    I was sitting at the foot of the table.  Somehow I knew it was the foot
and not the head, by some dream logic.  To my left was a woman who immediately
made me think of Reika, but that was just because she was a few years older
than me and wearing a business suit.  To my right was a girl who looked about
18-19 with short red hair, and something about her whispered 'Magical Girl'
to my finely honed instincts.  Beyond the suit woman was what appeared to be
an angel...wings, halo, benign expression, the whole enchilada, and beyond the
girl was a guy about my age...who sorta looked familiar, but seemed to be
rather poorly lighted, so I couldn't get a clear look at him.

    Beyond them were less recognizable beings, also mostly in shadow.  My
memory of them is kind of fuzzy, because of the lighting...and because I
didn't want to look at them too closely.  I think there was one that reminded
me of a Dark Young, and one that made me think of an octopus, and what seemed
to have enough blinking lights to be a computer (sitting in a chair), and one
thing I really can't describe at all, except it had wings...

    At the 'head' of the table, the opposite end from me, was a pulsing mass
of multicolored globes.  I had never seen anything like it before, and my
brain just sort of refused to parse it.

    All of this, of course, I took in within a few seconds, being the cool
gunman type that I was.  I even noticed that all the bruises and aches from
the explosion were gone, including the headache.  Either someone had magically
healed me, or I'd been out for quite a while...

    "Ah, you're awake," power suit said with a smile.

    Suddenly I felt a surge of anger.  I'd been tied up for hours by the so-
called 'Magical Women', and now I had run from some damn little guys to meet
with yet more mystery people that seemed to know what the hell was going on,
and wouldn't tell me.

    You'll probably understand when I say I decided not to take it anymore.

    "Keikaku told me you'd be fair and honest.  I guess that means I'm still
asleep, eh?"

    Power suit's eyes narrowed.  I grinned obnoxiously at her.  I turned to
the Magical Girl, but was startled to find her grinning back at me.

    "And what do you mean by that?" power suit asked.

    I slid down in my chair and put my hands behind my head.  "My injuries are
gone, which means I'm either dreaming, or someone healed me, or it's been
several days.  Whichever it is, you're not playing straight with me.  Kind of
starts things out on the wrong foot, doesn't it?"

    Power suit smiled then, a sort of 'so that's how it is' smile.  "If you
must know, we took the liberty of healing you.  It's only been about half an
hour since you came through the gate.  You fell unconscious from your
injuries, which you probably don't remember; short-term memory loss and such."
She managed to sound hurt.  "We couldn't just leave you like that, could we,
Kurasaka-san?  It just wouldn't be human."

    Some of the entities down the table made sounds that were probably meant
to be snickering.

    "Anyway, we thought it might make you more disposed to accept our proposal
if we gave you this small token of our esteem."  Her sad smile seemed to add
'but you rejected our innocent gift, you cruel beast'.

    No doubt about it, this lady was good.  I reconsidered my strategy; I had
almost no information at this point, which was what I really needed.  So...

    "Well, I apologize for overreacting, Miss..."

    Her smile resumed its standard 'polite' look.  "Oh, we haven't even
introduced ourselves yet.  You must think we're terribly rude.  My name is
Matsura Yoshiko."

    "I'm Kumiko!" the girl to my right piped up.  Yoshiko's smile momentarily
flipped to 'ah, the exuberance of youth' before returning to 'put business
executives at ease'.

    "The other members of our party wish to remain anonymous, at least for
now.  Kumiko and I will be the main spokespeople."  Yoshiko clicked her smile
to high beam and waited for me to speak.

    They certainly were smooth.  I was starting to feel at ease in spite of
myself...but I still felt like harassing someone.

    "So," I said, lounging as well as I could in the straight-backed chair, "I
get the impression that you've been following my work."

    "That's correct," Yoshiko replied.  Under the smile, she knew I was
leading to something, I could tell.

    "So you've noticed all the...shall we say...incidents that have occurred
between us and various...supernatural forces."

    "That's exactly why we want to help you fight them."

    I blinked.  I had been about to go into a 'why should I work for more
monsters' rant...she was *good*.

    "Kurasaka-san, you must understand, we individually have many disparate
priorities, but what has brought us here today is that *things are screwing
with the world*."

    I eyed her.  "But from what I hear, Shub-Niggurath has been doing that for
years."

    As I hoped, a few noises from further down the table, but Yoshiko didn't
bat an eye.  "She, as always, plays her assigned role in the cosmos.  Our
problem is with the one you know of as Mashihaisha Ultra, and others who might
try to take advantage of the trouble he's causing."

    Interesting.  "So what's so special about him?"

    At this, the angel leaped to his feet.  "He oversteps his bounds!" he
roared, startling me.  "The powers he wields were not meant to be used for
domination!"

    "Then why don't you go down there and take care of him yourself?"  Cool,
I'd just talked back to an angel.  How many people can say that?

    "No," Yoshiko said.

    I aimed a blink in her direction.  "No?"

    "There are..." She hesitated.  "Treaties, in place.  It's not easy for
celestial beings to interfere directly in the mortal realm."

    "Everyone plays together, or they don't play at all," Kumiko suddenly put
in.

    Odd way to put it, but it did sort of make sense.  "But...it sounds like
Ultra's broken these treaties already...so doesn't that give you some, I don't
know, special exemption to haul his angelic ass in?"

    "Ha!" the angel cried.  "I'd be down there in a second if Hell would allow
it!  Why don't YOU talk to Zephuron and see where it gets you!"  He gestured
down the table and I was shocked to see a devil, with horns, beard,
everything, giving me a cheery wave.

    While I gawked, something I didn't think I wanted to see clearly spoke up.
I couldn't hear what it was saying, and probably wouldn't have understood
anyway, but it sparked a general debate.  I realized that I had touched on
what was most likely something of a sore point with certain members of the
assembled company.  Before the argument really got underway, however, there
was a sudden wave of...mental pressure, I guess would be the best way to put
it.  It felt like my head had been wrapped in cotton and squeezed in a vise
for a few seconds.  When it passed...silence.

    I immediately realized two things: 1) whatever was at the head of the
table had done that, and 2) if you could put the wave into words, it probably
would have been "QUIET!".

    Yoshiko started talking again, like nothing had happened.  "So you see, we
need some human agents to affect things in your world."

    "In other words, you want me to clean up your mess."

    More grumbles, and a small warning wave.  Yoshiko smiled.  "Not really.
You see, if we didn't do anything, you'd still go on to try and take down
Mashihaisha Ultra and his little empire."

    She leaned forward, a gleam in her eye.

    "We just want to make sure you don't fail."

=====

    I considered.  These, ah, beings, had so far treated me better than just
about all my other clients had.  True, they wanted to use me to take care of
things that, in my opinion, they should solve themselves, but that was
practically my job description.  But for all the polite conversation, they
still hadn't said anything substantial.  "So, what is it exactly that you want
from me?"

    Yoshiko smiled and settled back in her chair.  "We want to hire you to
perform a raid on one of Ultra's installations.  The primary purpose will be
to rescue two important people, with secondary objectives including sabotage,
intelligence gathering and, of course, magical girl hunting."

    Whoa.  That sounded like a hell of a lot of work, doing things Itami and I
never really did.  I mean, our area of expertise was killing stuff, not
extractions.  Out loud, I said, "You gotta be kidding me, we've never done
anything like that before."

    "You did raid two separate facilities of Ultra's."

    Well, now that I thought about it, there was that one time I snuck in and
stole all that money, and then Itami, H and I had followed Pretty Marshall
Rose's corpse in and managed to witness the induction of the sixty-freaking-
four Shining Crayon Knights...so in a way, we *had* done stuff like that
before.  But it still sounded like a pretty tall order.

    "We're prepared to provide four times your standard fee for a contract if
both people are rescued, in addition to bonuses for sabotage and intelligence,
plus your standard fee for every one of Ultra's girls neutralized, and a bonus
for each of those taken care of permanently."  Yoshiko gave me her best
business smile.  "We understand the value of quality."

    Needless to say, that little price list hit the old mental cash register
pretty hard.  The fact that we'd had to kill a bunch of magical girls for free
recently had really started to annoy me, but to just run in somewhere and get
paid to blast as many as we could...well, it was how I'd always dreamed the
business would be.

    I had a strong urge to accept right then, but I knew I'd need to talk it
over with my crew first, and there were still some loose ends that might
unravel the whole thing.  "That sounds quite generous.  But tell me, who are
these people you want rescued?"

    To my right, Kumiko giggled.  "You know them as Kyo and Mai."

    Well!  That would certainly turn the tables, my saving their asses instead
of them always saving mine...then I thought about it a bit more, and frowned.
"Wait, I thought they were Ultra's kids.  Why the hell would he lock them
up?  Is he grounding them or something?  I'm not risking my life just to help
them sneak out of the house!"

    "You have a shrewd grasp of the situation, Yoi," Yoshiko said.  "However,
while your parents might have grounded you for a week or two, but Ultra might
keep his children away from the world for years.  And by then, it would be too
late for them to affect the coming struggle."

    Uhoh.  This sounded supiciously prophetic.  Too many magical girls had
prophecies for guidance (though, oddly enough, none of them ever seemed to
include an encounter with fast-moving bits of lead).  "Coming struggle?"

    Yoshiko smiled disarmingly.  "Why, the final push to send Ultra back to
the heavens to receive divine justice.  But that's a ways down the road, you
don't need to worry about it yet."

    Once again, I was working from someone else's script.  I was getting real
tired of this.  Yoshiko must have noticed my expression, because she said, "I
know this must seem awfully manipulative to you, Yoi, but we really don't want
to force you to do anything.  Nothing would make me happier than to just let
you get on with your life."  She blinked, and stared off into space.  "Well,
no, there are quite a few things that would make me happier...but you see my
point, I hope.  In any case, you don't have to take our contract.  You can go
along with Ramsbottom, or strike against Ultra on your own, or ignore them
all.  ...Hell, you could even get Reika to teach you Shub-Niggurath worship if
you really wanted."

    That brought a few weird sounds from further down the table, but I ignored
them.  "Wait, do you mean Reika isn't working for Ultra?"

    Yoshiko blinked.  "Why would she be?"

    So they weren't *totally* all-knowing.  "Well, Ramsbottom told me she
was."

    Yoshiko leaned over and whispered a few words to the angel that I couldn't
catch, and got a reply.  "What exactly did he say, Yoi?" she asked me
carefully.

    I thought hard.  "He said...'Yes, right now, she's with Ultra'."

    Yoshiko looked at the angel.  After a moment, he leaned over and whispered
something to her, at which point she smiled a 'oh, so *that's* what you meant'
smile at me.  (I was starting to be amazed at the versatility of her body
language...)  "Our sources indicate that Ultra went to Reika's apartment, but
their conversation was interrupted by the appearance of Princess Love," she
glanced at the angel, and he nodded slightly, "Princess Love, and there was an
altercation of some sort, after which Reika left the area in an obvious
attempt to elude Ultra."

    I rubbed my chin.  I was startled to notice how relieved I was by the news
that Reika was probably not my enemy now, but I shelved that feeling for later
consideration.  More important at this point was Ramsbottom.  "Sneaky
bastard," I muttered.

    "Well, he *is* a yoma lord," Yoshiko averred.

    I blinked at her.

    "I'm surprised you didn't figure it out yourself, Yoi," she chided.  "He
helped you kill those fifty-nine magical girls, after all.  And don't you
remember Reika quoting statistics on how much the Dark Young had decreased the
yoma population in the area around Shubby-chan's?  And you know his chief
enemy after Shub-Niggurath is Ultra, creator of both magical girls and rival
yoma."

    My jaw dropped.  Bloody hell, it *did* make sense.  Except for one
thing..."But the freaks that control yoma...they're *dumb*.  I mean, that's
why they hire *us*."

    "And if one of them wasn't dumb...if he was smart and subtle...would he do
anything to let you know he existed?"

    A smart yoma lord.  That was almost as scary as immortal magical girls.
"But he was working with the 'Magical Women'," I said weakly.

    Yoshiko looked at me sternly.

    I sighed.  "Yeah, I know, that doesn't mean anything.  Hell, he's probably
laughing his mystical ass off at the irony."

    Suddenly I felt Kumiko take my hand.  I looked at her, startled, and saw
she had a sympathetic expression on her face.  "Don't feel bad for not
figuring it all out," she said.  "You can't win them all."

    I ran my free hand through my hair.  "No shit," I muttered.

    "Consider that information another token of our goodwill, Yoi," Yoshiko
said, almost managing not to smirk.  "And we've got something else I think
you'll be interested in hearing."

    Suddenly I felt very tired.  "Oh?"

    "M-hm.  Have you wondered who turned Aika into a magical girl?"

    That got my attention rather quickly.  "As a matter of fact..."

    Yoshiko smiled.  "We did."

    My jaw dropped.  Again.  After a few long moments, I found my voice.  "Do
you realize what she's had to go through because of that?!?"

    "She's gotten to play with a bunch of guns, experience the thrill of being
a mercenary, and meet a guy she likes."

    I stared at Yoshiko's calm demeanor.  "And that's supposed to justify it?"

    "Yoi."  She looked intently at me.  "I'm not trying to tell you it was the
right thing to do.  There was a lot of debate about doing it.  But I think, in
the end, the results turned out to be positive."  She settled back.  "Now, we
are willing to reverse the process, if that's what she really wants.  But we
can't do it for another week.  You can tell her that if you like."

    I rubbed my chin.  "So you expect her to reconsider during that week."

    "If she did decide to stay Pretty Deadly, why, I think everyone would be
happy."

    No doubt about it, these guys were the smoothest of the smooth.  "So this
is another token of your goodwill?"

    "Actually, Yoi, these are things you should know regardless of what course
of action you eventually take.  We're of the opinion that whatever you do at
this point will probably help us, so it's in our interest to answer all your
questions...which, unfortunately, is pretty much the only assistance we can
give.  But then, no strings are attached."

    Well, I had a pretty good idea of where these guys stood now.  I had a gut
feeling their information was correct; it all checked out with what I already
knew, and they had nice ulterior motives for being honest...Hm, let's see.
Were there any other useful bits of info I could squeeze out of them?...

    "What was up with that guy in black armor being chased by the cute little
shocktroopers, in the 'Magical Women' mansion?"

    The angel leaned over and murmured something to Yoshiko.  "Apparently, he
was an experimental warrior Ultra created, who managed to escape, and was
therefore being pursued by some of Ultra's SD Troopers, another innovation
which will shortly be loosed upon Tokyo."

    "Life just gets better and better, doesn't it.  Does Ultra have any more
little projects cooking?"

    "Quite a few, but none you need to be worrying about at the moment."

    I did my Itami glare at her, but it seemed that was all I was going to
get.  "So...that's it, then?  Now I decide whether to sign on with yet another
supernatural force?"

    "No, we'll set up an appointment with you and you can do it then."  I
couldn't help rolling my eyes at Yoshiko's smile.  "Anyway, if you really are
favorably disposed to our cause, there is one thing we'd like you to do."

    Aha.  "And here I could have sworn I heard you say 'no strings attached'."

    Yoshiko stood up and smiled.  I noticed most of the entities down the
table disappearing in one way or another.  "What we've done for you already is
completely free of charge.  However, we need to be sure you're really up to
the task before we can actually consider hiring you."

    I looked around.  Aside from me, the only ones left in the 'room' were
Yoshiko and Kumiko, standing as though they were about to leave, and the
shadowy guy sitting next to Kumiko.  I suddenly felt a chill looking at him...
Whatever was happening now, he was probably the center of it.

    I looked back at Yoshiko.  "And I'll prove I'm up to it by..."

    "Making peace with yourself."

    The light brightened a bit on that one figure, revealing the same features
I saw in the mirror every day.  It was me.

    Then I realized that I knew who it was.  It was Koi.

    Yoshiko walked away from the table.  After a moment, I could no longer hear
her footsteps.  Kumiko started to follow her, but then I felt her hand on my
shoulder.  I looked up at her.

    She was smiling...sympathetically?  "Don't worry, I know you can do it."
She squeezed my shoulder and walked off.

    I was alone with myself.

=====

    "You don't exist," I croaked, my throat suddenly dry.

    "I've thought about Sailor H quite a few times...had some rather wild
fantasies about her.  Yet, I've never done anything like them in 'reality'.
Does that mean they don't exist?"  He leaned forward and stared at me.  He
looked annoyed...but I guess I would, too, if someone questioned my reality.

    I suppose I should explain...but I'm not quite sure I can.  You see...it
takes a lot of willpower and rationalization to be able to kill little girls
for a living.  Part of me never really got used to the idea...but I was
committed enough that I pushed that part into the back of my mind and ignored
it.  It was the part of me that cared about people, that would feel moral
qualms about some of the things I had to do to survive in my job.  After a
while, I almost thought of it as another person.  I even named it 'Koi', since
'Koi' means 'love' and sounds like 'Yoi'...well, it made sense at the time.
Anyway, I thought it was just a harmless bit of mind game solitaire...

    Until the day I found myself writing 'Koi' on my driver's license
application.

    That wasn't really so hard to deal with, I tell anyone who asks that it's
a typo, but ever since then 'Koi' has been making me do things every now and
then.  It's really weird, because I know 'Koi' is just me, so I'm doing
everything myself...sort of like a dream, I suppose; I can never understand
where my dreams come from, it's like they're from some completely separate
mind...

    Well, if you had any doubt as to my lack of sanity, there's your proof.

    Koi was still looking at me.  As you might imagine, I had no idea what to
say to him...so I stalled.

    "Wait, if you *really* exist, then you're just in my mind...so you can't
be out here talking to me."

    He leaned back, still watching me.  "I would think an angel, or maybe
some of the other things that were here, would be capable of reading part of
my mind with telepathy, and making a physical form for it with illusion."

    "Well, yeah...I guess that makes sense.  But why go to all the trouble?  I
mean, they said it would prove something...but why me?  Or us.  Hell, you know
what I mean."

    Koi smiled ever so slightly.  "Mashihaishi Ultra took the time to talk to
me and try and turn me to his side."

    I have to admit, the way this guy talked was creeping me out.  He sounded
like everything was happening to him, and not me and him.  I mean, we were the
same person, but it was still confusing the hell out of me.  Not only that...
"Do you ever just give a straight answer?"

    He raised an eyebrow.  "I'm the part of me that thinks around things, that
uses intuition.  You're the part of me that thinks in straight lines."

    Maybe I was more messed up than even I had suspected.  "But...I use my
intuition all the time."

    "You and I are the same person.  Our separation is the exception more than
the rule."

    "But you took control of me when I was tied up, and tried to get us out,
and then threw that grenade.  An exception?"

    Koi shrugged.  "Everyone makes mistakes."

    I sat back and pondered.  "So...if you tried to escape, that must mean you
don't like not being in control, just like me."

    "You and I are the same person.  How many times do I have to say it?"

    I ignored him.  "So that means...you wouldn't want to be roped into
another contract with 'powers that be'."

    "I think this contract is better than the other ones I've been under.
There's a real chance for me to help the world.  Such things are more
important."

    I mentioned he was the part of me with a conscience, right?  "So, in that
case, you're for accepting the contract.  ...So we don't need to talk about
anything else."

    "I know how I feel.  But they won't be satisfied with that."

    I blinked.  "Uh...oh, yeah, they said I had to make peace with myself.
But what does that mean?"

    "I think being at peace is a matter of agreement between parts of the
self."

    I got a glimmer of where he was heading.  After all, in theory, I know
myself better than anyone.  "So, if we both agree that we're at peace, then
that will be good enough for them."

    "I can't think of any other way."

    "And you want something from me before you'll agree to that."

    He grinned.  "You and I *are* the same person, after all."

    Damn straight.  "Okay, let's hear it."

    "I should go on a date with someone."

    I stared at him.

    He seemed to consider.  "By which I mean...we should go on a date with
someone.  It's important we both understand...I am still the lesser part of
me, and I accept this.  However, I want myself to not be so separate.  One way
to do this is to do things that...both parts enjoy.  And a date fits these
criteria."

    I had to think about that for a while.  If this really was Koi, it was no
wonder we had a communication problem.  "So...just to make sure I get this...
You want me to agree to go on a date with someone.  Not only will we both
enjoy this, but it will get us doing something we can agree on, and thus bring
us closer together.  And this will be enough to get your agreement that we've
made peace with ourselves."

    Koi smiled in a sort of tired way.  "I'm glad we both understand."

    "So...who should I ask out?"

    "I've met many beautiful women.  Reika.  Aika.  Kasumi.  Kyo.  Even
Yoshiko and Kumiko."

    I had to think for a moment before I remembered that Kasumi was Sailor H.
Trust the romantic part of me to think of her as a 'beautiful woman'.  I mean,
she *was*, but...and seriously, *Kyo*?  "Then you're saying it doesn't matter
who.  Any particular time?"

    "I feel the most important part of such an agreement would be the intent
for both parts of myself to work together.  After all...I'd keep a deal with
*myself*, wouldn't I?"

    On the one hand, this meant that time didn't matter either.  On the
other...*would* I keep a deal with myself?  I suppose I had a mercenary code
of honor...and if I couldn't trust myself, then, hell, I'd have to call the
nice young men in clean white coats and get it over with.

    No doubt about it, Koi thought the way I did sometimes.  Or, I guess more
precisely, sometimes my thoughts were really his.  ...I decided not to try and
pin it down any more than that, I might just drive myself insane right here...

    Actually, a date sounded like a good idea.  But then, there was a reason
I hadn't had one in...well, ever..."Every time I've asked a girl out before,
they've turned me down.  What happens to our agreement then?"

    "First, I think Aika, at least, wouldn't mind a date.  Second, what's more
important is the sincere desire for both of us to work together."

    I eyed Koi warily.  I had the sneaking suspicion he'd keep me asking girls
out until someone accepted.  But I couldn't blame him...I guess he'd be
feeling even more frustrated than I was.

    And that, I think, clinched it.  I guess I accepted the fact that he
really was part of me, and helping him would be helping myself.  He must have
noticed it too, and relaxed visibly.  "You understand I may not get around to
asking someone out for quite a while," I said.

    Koi smiled.  "There certainly are a lot of things going on that brook
little distraction."

    I suppose that was a 'yes'.  "So...what now?"

    Koi stared off into the distance.  "I have made peace with myself!" he
yelled.  Then he looked at me.  I blinked.  Then, after a moment, my half of
the brain followed the same track his must have: They were probably monitoring
this conversation, and would want a sort of formal affirmation that we both
were in agreement, and a simple way would be both of us saying it...

    "I have made peace with myself," I called, feeling slightly silly doing
so.  Almost immediately I heard footsteps, and Yoshiko came into view with a
big 'you did the right thing' smile.

    "I'm glad to hear it," she beamed.  "I'll make an appointment to talk to
you about the first contract, and you can think about it then.  Now, if
there's nothing else, we can send you home...or wherever."

    I sighed, and rubbed my face.  Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Koi
was gone.  But then, he hadn't actually been there at all, just an illusionary
image of him..."What time is it?"

    "What time would you like it to be?"

    I fell back on that old standby, the blink.

    "Time and space are easy for us to manipulate here.  Except that we can't
go back in time and change the past, that does nasty things."

    I really didn't want to think about that, so I said the first thing that
came into my mind.  "Well, I told everyone I'd meet them back at my apartment
at 7PM."

    "Easier done than said."  Yoshiko turned to face behind me, and I turned
to look.  A hole in the blackness showed the door to my apartment.

    "Not bad."  I stood up and turned to leave...then looked back at her.

    She smiled pleasantly.  "Yes?"  She seemed to be in her early thirties,
but that just gave her a sort of mature beauty...

    I had enough problems already.  "Nothing.  See you later."

    I stepped through the portal...

=====

    I was now in the hallway outside my apartment.  It was definitely reality,
and I couldn't see any sign of the magical portal, either.  It was almost like
I'd just come home from a day at the office.  As you might have guessed, the
prospect of a relaxing evening at home, even in my near-rathole apartment, was
a pretty appealing one.  I unlocked the door, and opened it.

    Extraordinarily loud rock music blasted me in the face.

    "Yoi!"  I recovered from the shock to notice Aika, Itami, H and Reika
sitting around a low table, probably playing a game of some sort.  Behind
them, my stereo was putting out more sound that I would have thought possible.
Aika, who had called my name, stood up and ran toward me.  She had on casual
clothes (i.e., non-fuku).

    "Hi guys!" I said cheerily.  "Hey, Aika, what's up?"

    "Yoi!...um...are you okay?"  Aika looked concerned.  I then remembered the
circumstances under which we'd parted company, earlier today.

    "Yeah, I'm tougher to kill than a presidential scandal.  I, uh, got some
medical care too.  So, don't worry."  I returned her smile, then walked over
to the stereo.  There was an unfamiliar tape in the deck.

    "What are we listening to?"

    "My cousin's band," Itami said, not turning from the game.  "He plays
drums."

    "Mind if I turn it off?"  Actually, they were pretty good, but I was in
serious need of some peace and quiet right at the moment.  At Itami's
non-committal grunt, I switched off the stereo and felt my mind expand in the
blissful silence.

    "Yoi, are you sure you're okay?" Aika was still looking at me with a good
deal of concern.

    "I'm fine, I'm fine," I said, waving my hand.  I noticed the game everyone
was playing happened to be mahjongg.  "Here, go on back to your game.  Go on,
don't worry about me."  Aika smiled and sat back down, although a bit
reluctantly.  Peering over the table, I realized that they seemed to be
playing for pretzels, and Aika was significantly behind.  Reika was ahead,
while H and Itami were about even.

    Aika looked nervously at her tiles.  I grinned as I realized that was
probably one reason she was being so solicitous; she was losing rather badly.
As I watched, she selected a tile from her row, and put it down in the center.

    "Ron!" H yelled gleefully, snatching it up.  Aika paled.  "Ha!  7700
points in all, double since I dealt!"

    Itami and Reika started handing H pretzels.  "But...I don't have that
much," Aika stammered.

    "Well, you know the rules, dear."  H had a wicked grin.

    Rules?  Something nudged at the back of my mind.  I looked at Aika; she
turned red as a beet and looked away...

    They weren't..."You guys aren't..."

    "If you can't pay, you'll just have to *sell* something!" H continued
maliciously.

    "You're playing STRIP mahjongg?"  Well, I guess it explained why that pink
straitjacket was lying on the table.  "Why..."

    H looked at me like I was a moron.  "I'm Sailor H, Yoi."

    "...Itami?"

    Itami grunted.  "H wanted to."

    I stared over at Reika.  "Reika?!?"

    She smiled at me.  "I'm good at mahjongg."

    Uhhh...yeah.  "Aika?"

    "They made me do it!" Aika cried, looking like she wanted to melt into the
floor.

    "Ahhh, I see.  Now, really, guys, that wasn't very nice.  You should get
someone who doesn't mind playing."  I started to take off my jacket.

    "In your dreams, Yoi!"  H stood up and stalked over to the fridge, glaring
at me over her shoulder.  I grinned at Aika, who smiled back gratefully.
Hell, maybe I *would* ask her out...

    But not now.  Right now, all I wanted was a good night's sleep.  I threw
myself down on the couch and exhaled deeply.

    "So, um, Yoi...how'd it go?" Aika asked tentatively.

    I suddenly remembered Yoshiko's offer to un-magical girl Aika.  Yet
another thing I just didn't want to talk about right now.  (And Koi wanted me
to keep her around, I was sure...)  "It was weird.  I mean, major league
weird.  I really don't want to go into it...in summary, I guess you could say
they wanted to feel me out a bit before hiring me.  They said they'd make an
appointment sometime, come by with a real contract."  Damn, I was tired.  I
felt like falling asleep right there...

    "So...what about the contract with the 'Magical Women'?"

    The 'Magical Women'...wanted me to kill Reika...uhoh.  I turned to look at
Aika.  "How'd you know about that?"

    "H told us."

    Oh yeah, she'd been in on the whole thing.  I looked over at the fridge;
she was definitely smirking.  I looked back to the table.  Itami was putting
away the mah jongg set, Aika was looking nervous, and Reika was looking...like
she always did.

    I blinked.  Maybe it was Koi helping, but suddenly Reika's perennially
calm expression seemed like a mask...hiding whatever was behind it.  She might
be paralyzed with fear, but she wouldn't show it outwardly.  Had I ever really
seen her true feelings?...

    But Aika was expecting an answer.  "Well...as I understand it, what
Ramsbottom and the 'Magical Women' really wanted was for Shubby-chan's to stop
doing things with Dark Young.  Since they have, and Reika will never go back
to Shub-Niggurath for fear of how she'll take betrayal, there isn't any
problem.  ...What do you think, Reika?"

    Just for a moment, I saw the mask slip a little.  It was hard to tell, but
I think there was gratitude behind it.  "I think you've got it exactly right,
Yoi," Reika said.

    "But what if they don't believe she'll never go back?"

    I rubbed my eyes.  "Well, maybe we'll just make them understand," I
muttered.

    "Yoi..."

    I looked back at Aika.  She was obviously torn between self-preservation,
how she felt about me, and how she knew I felt about Reika...

    I felt like a bastard.  (Damn you, Koi, I don't need this...)

    Aika swallowed.  "Well...it's late.  I should be getting home."

    I smiled at her, even though I felt like a heel.  "Take care...come by the
office any time you want."  She nodded, opened the door, and walked out.

    "Itamiiiii..."  That, of course, was H, doing her best Post-it impression.
"Time for us to go somewhere private too."  I was amazed to see Itami blush--
you'd think he'd be used to it by now!--and they gathered up their things and
walked to the door as well.

    "Bye guys!  Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" I called cheerily.  H gave
me one last glare for the road and shut the door behind her.

    And I was alone with Reika.

=====

    Reika stood up and walked over to me.  "Yoi...thank you."

    I sat up.  "Don't thank me just yet."

    She stopped and waited for me to speak.

    Now, maybe what I was about to do will seem unnecessary to you.  But I had
been through a lot, and still didn't know much about Reika, so I felt I needed
to be sure.  I guess in the end I'm just a paranoid bastard.

    "The people I met, they told me you met Ultra at your apartment."  I was
watching closely, but her expression didn't change at all.  "Not only that,
but Ramsbottom told me the same thing earlier."  I thought I saw something in
her face, but I couldn't be sure...I stood up and faced her directly.  "Reika.
If you're really going to work against us...I'll let you leave right now.  But
if you stay, and I find out you betrayed us...I'll be very angry."

    I guess that got through to her, because suddenly she looked tired...but
she was smiling.  "Yoi...thank you.  I'll leave if you want, but I wouldn't
betray you."

    A large part of me relaxed...but I still wasn't totally convinced.  "And
the meeting?"

    Reika walked past me and sat down on the couch.  "I went back to my
apartment...just to get some things with sentimental value.  I thought they
probably wouldn't be watching it any more...but Ultra showed up within
minutes.  He tried to get me to join him again..."  She looked up at me, her
face serious.  "Yoi...I have to admit, I almost accepted.  I was just afraid
he'd kill me..."  She smiled.  "But then your karma kicked in, and Princess
Love came out of nowhere.  She wanted Ultra to get rid of the Sailor Shoggoths
for some reason, and he was rather annoyed at being interrupted.  I took the
opportunity to jump out the window."  She looked down again.  "I'm sorry for
that moment of doubt.  I realized afterward that I would have hated myself if
I'd actually accepted.  I won't consider anything like that again."

    I realized I'd been holding my breath, and exhaled.  Well, maybe I was a
fool, but I believed her.  She just seemed to be so honest compared to...well,
just about everyone else.  "So...you're going to stay with us because we have
this luck that'll help you stay alive?  I suppose I can understand that..."

    Reika smiled obscurely.  "Well, that's not the only reason."  At my blink,
she patted the couch next to her.  "Here, sit down, Yoi."

    Suddenly I realized that she wanted me to sit down next to her.  Before I
could babble something stupid, Koi sat me down.  (Well, I guess being me makes
him pretty smooth...)

    Reika turned to face me.  "Yoi...I told you about why I worshipped
Shub-Niggurath.  Do you remember?"

    I cleared my throat, which seemed suddenly dry.  "It was...something about
how since the world was controlled by these powerful forces, the only thing
you could really do as an individual was try and protect yourself.  ...Right?"

    She nodded.  "Most people I tell that to, either I never see them again,
or they sneer at me for not wanting to get all the personal power I can."  I
must have had a rather odd expression at that, since she said, "I used to hang
around with cultists, remember?  In any case...you did neither.  You treated
me like a normal person.  You let me live here, and didn't even try anything
ecchi!"

    (You mean all I had to do was *not* try anything ecchi?  Hm, maybe that
was why I never got a date in high school...)

    "So you see, Yoi," Reika continued, "You seemed to understand me...more
than anyone else has."  She looked into my eyes...I knew then that I was
finally seeing her true feelings.  She was lonely, and afraid...but then, I
think everyone is, sometimes.  I tried to smile reassuringly, and she smiled
back.  Then, her face moved towards mine...

    There was a loud knock at the door.

    I nearly jumped.  Reika giggled at my reaction.  "Go get the door."

    I smiled while inwardly cursing, and walked over to open the door.

    Keikaku stood outside.  He grinned.  "Hey there, Yoi, you look a lot
better.  I know I said 8, but I got done a bit earlier and decided to stop by.
...This a bad time?"

    I rolled my eyes.  "No, not at all.  Come right on in."  I stepped aside,
and he walked in.

    "I really didn't mean to bother you any, Yoi, I just said..."  He stopped
and stared at Reika.  "I'll be damned," he murmured.

    Reika stood up.  "I'm going to go out and get a few things, Yoi," she
said.  "I may be back late, so don't wait up or anything."  She walked past us
into the hall.

    I stared after her.  The mask was back, like it had never left.  "Um...
yeah, sure," I said lamely.  "Anytime..."  She walked past a bend in the hall
and was gone.

    I turned my bewildered stare at Keikaku.  He was looking at me
thoughtfully.  "You talked about Shub-Niggurath worshippers...I should have
expected it."

    Well, it was obvious there was some history here.  I closed the door.  "So
you two know each other?"

    Keikaku began to pace.  "I met her in college, she was just a couple years
younger.  We were both interested in the occult.  We sort of...well, let's
just say I was working up the courage to ask her out, when she stumbled onto
Shub-Niggurath, and we had a big fight about it.  I couldn't accept her
reasoning for wanting to get involved in any of that, and she thought I was an
idiot for ignoring the forces around us."  He stopped pacing and looked at me.
"I haven't seen her since then...six months or so ago.  ...So that's that."

    Well, that shed a bit more light on what Reika had said earlier.  I was
guessing she had taken it a bit hard.  Maybe I was even a 'rebound' choice...

    "Yoi."  I looked back at Keikaku.  He had a concerned expression.  "I
don't want to butt in on your business, or anything...but Reika is, well...
she's a cold one.  I always felt like I never knew what she was really
feeling."

    Well, that was hardly surprising.  Yet...it meant that I was closer to
Reika than Keikaku had been, and they'd almost gone out.  Yeah, I got a wicked
little charge out of that, but can you blame me?

    "Well...as it turns out, Keikaku, you interrupted her confessing her true
feelings."  I'm sure I looked a bit smug saying that.

    Keikaku, however, just looked thoughtful.  "Well...if that's the case...
you deserve her more than me."  He grinned and slapped me on the back.  "Yoi,
you stud, you."

    Hell, I couldn't even be superior to him.  "You're just too darn nice, you
know that, man?"

    He shrugged.  "One of my weaknesses, I guess.  So tell me how the meeting
went today."

    "Ah, yes...the meeting."  I sat dowo on the couch again.  "It was...pretty
damn strange.  But I think I'll eventually take the contract.  They said
they'd make an appointment and come by with specific information."

    "So, does that mean I can be a Magical Girl Hunter too?"

    I blinked at him.  "You don't strike me as the kind of guy who'd want to
run hits on schoolgirls."

    Keikaku started pacing again.  "Well, if the Balancers hire you to do
something, I'll help, even if it means offing magical girls.  That's how
important I think this is.  Maybe you guessed already, but they convinced me I
could help the world more directly by working...well, more directly."

    The Balancers...that was the first time I'd actually heard a name for
them.  It made sense...it also sounded like just the kind of group that
Keikaku would want to hang out with.  But he'd said something..."Whoa, that
reminds me.  What the hell were you doing with a shambler?"

    He stopped pacing and looked at me.  "Do you know much about shamblers,
Yoi?"

    "Enlighten me."

    "Well, basically they're creatures from another dimension, that just sort
of...wander around.  Nobody knows why.  They're not tied to any particular
entity, like the Dark Young are to Shub-Niggurath or the Deep Ones to Cthulhu,
and the spell to summon and control them is simple enough that just about any
practitioner of magic can learn it, if they read the right books."

    Well, a lot of that went past me, but an idea that had been germinating in
the back of my mind was starting to bloom.  "How many can you do at once?"

    Keikaku blinked.  "Me?  Only one.  Reika can probably do two, though,
maybe even three.  Why?"

    "I just got an idea for that contract..." I broke off and yawned.

    "You look beat, Yoi.  I'll come by the office sometime and you can fill me
in."

    "Yeah.  Welcome to the team."

    He grinned.  "Glad to be here.  Anything else before I deprive you of my
presence?"

    "Nah.  Get outta here and let me sleep."

    "Righty-o.  Take care."

    I lay down on the couch as the door closed behind Keikaku.  I had probably
lost some hours with the Balancers, but they had done weird medical stuff to
me, and I had been drugged last night...well, the point is, I was tired.
Maybe I would just fall asleep on the couch...

=====

    I woke up to the smell of coffee.  Mmmm...coffee.

    I blinked and woke up the rest of the way.  I was still lying on the couch
in my clothes, but under a blanket.  I threw off the blanket and staggered to
the kitchen.  Next to the pot of coffee was a note.

    "Yoi--
       Didn't feel like talking to you today.  Not your fault, just me.  I'll
       be back tonight, if you don't mind.  Sorry.
                                     --Reika"

    Well, I couldn't blame her.  But...I realized that I really did want to
talk to her some more.  I guess I missed her...

    I wrote on the bottom of the note:

    "No problem.  You're welcome anytime.
                                     --Yoi"

=====

    A bit later, I was in the office and staring at the appointment book.

    See, I was pretty sure I hadn't scheduled anything for the day, but I
checked anyway, and...

    "11AM: Matsura Yoshiko and Kumiko."

    My handwriting.  No, I didn't remember writing it.  I was getting more
impressed by these guys all the time.

    I looked at the clock.  As luck would have it, it was almost--

    The door opened.

    "Hello again, Yoi," Yoshiko said, smiling.  Kumiko, behind her, waved
cheerily, and shut the door.

    "You guys are lucky I didn't oversleep..."  I looked at the clock.
"...any more.  So, you want to get started right away, I take it?"

    "The best defense is a good offense," Kumiko chirped.

    "Well, according to the last girl I asked on a date, you've come to the
right place."

    "Oh, don't say things like that, Yoi," Yoshiko chided.  "You'll hurt your
self-esteem."

    I smiled slightly.  "Yeah, maybe.  But you didn't come here for small
talk."  I looked around.  "Unfortunately, none of my team decided to show up
today..."

    "Hmmm.  That's a shame, I was looking forward to finally meeting all of
them...well, here's the information."  Yoshiko handed me a box.  "If you have
any questions, ask Kumiko.  Take care now."  She turned and walked to the
door.

    I blinked.  "Wait...where are you going?  Aren't you going to explain any
of this?  And Kumiko's staying?"

    Yoshiko turned and smiled at me.  "Now, Yoi, I gave you almost all the
information already.  In that box are copies of the agreement for everyone and
and everything you'll need to infiltrate the complex."

    "But-"

    "And Kumiko...I guess I forgot to mention it, but she's going along as our
representative."

    "Tha-"

    "Don't worry, she'll take care of herself and will be very careful to stay
out of the way of you professionals.  Won't you, Kumiko-chan?"

    "Of course!"  Kumiko beamed.

    "Take-"

    "Well, that's it, then.  Good luck!"  She left.

    "Wh-wh-wh-wha..." I gave up and slumped in my chair.  Too damn smooth.

    "Oh, don't look so sad, Yoi-san.  I'll be extra good."

    "Yeah, whatever, kid," I muttered...

=====

    Well, needless to say, I wasn't too happy about baby-sitting another
magical girl.

    "You *are* a magical girl, right?"

    "That's a secret."  She winked.

    The contents of the box, however, were rather encouraging.  There were
some quite detailed maps of another of Ultra's pseudo-factories.  It had a
number of notations indicating sites that would be useful to blow up, in
addition to the 'cell' (more like a suite) where Kyo and Mai were being held.
There was also a rather nasty-looking wakizashi with a drawing of an all-too-
familiar mass of globes on the pommel.

    "When you kill someone with this," Kumiko explained, "their soul goes to
the Balancers instead of to Hell or Heaven or wherever.  Then the Balancers
can hold them there and not let them come back to life."

    I turned it over in the light.  "*Now* we're getting somewhere."

    "Plus, it's specially made not interfere with other magic, so Itami could
use it with his katana if he wanted.  It's sort of a prototype; there'll be
more later."

    A wakizashi, if you didn't know, is a short sword designed to be wielded
in your left hand while you have a katana in your right.  (Assuming, of
course, that you're right-handed.)  I could already picture Itami with two
swords, looking like a modern-day samurai.  A grungy, depressive modern-day
samurai.

    That was it for the box, but it was more than enough; a plan was already
bubbling in my mind.  I decided to relax, let it cook, and see if anyone else
showed up.  I reached into my drawer, pulled out a dart, and absently let it
fly.

    *thunk*

    "Yoi-san, can I play too?"

    I blinked.  "Uh...yeah, sure, kid."  Actually, she was probably about 19,
but she acted like a kid...well, whatever.  We played darts for a while.  I
figured on a scale of 1 to 10, I was about a 6 on dart-playing, while Itami
was probably up to 9.  Kumiko turned out to be at least a 7, winning handily
most of the time.  I really didn't care, though, since I was just killing time
anyway.

    "Oh no!"

    Startled, I flung the dart into the wall behind me as I was winding up to
throw.  "Oh no what?" I turned to stare at Kumiko; she looked really nervous
all of a sudden.

    "Yoi-san, is there anywhere I can...ack!"  She jumped down and hunched
behind my desk, next to my chair.

    What the hell?

    The door swung open and hit the wall with a crash.  I looked up and saw
Princess Love.  She did not look to be in the mood for love.  In fact, she
looked downright pissed off.

    Oh shit, I thought.

=====

    "Yoi Kurasaka!" she thundered.

    "...er...yes?"

    "I need to hire you!"

    I took a moment to blink.  Then I swung into 'meeting client' mode.
"Well, of course the Magical Girl Hunters are at your disposal, Miss Love.
What can we do to help?"

    "You have to get rid of those things!"

    "Things?"  She looked really mad.

    "Those Sailor Shoggoths!"

    Oh, HELL no.  I almost said that out loud, but caught myself in time.
"Er...they're not exactly magical girls..."

    "So?"  She focused an intent gaze on me.  Suddenly I really, really wanted
a gun.  "I heard you killed a bunch of Shub-Niggurath's yoma.  They shouldn't
be too hard for you.  You killed *me*, after all."

    Yeah, but you were a milk run.  "But...you see, they're just too powerful.
We *tried* to kill them.  Repeatedly.  They just didn't want to die."  I
spread my hands to convey futility.  "I'm truly sorry."

    Her face broke.  "But they've got my Prettyboy Warrior under some sort of
spell.  He doesn't remember me!  Not even any of my songs have been able to
get through to him!"  Oh God, not the yummy light song, I thought...  "Please?
Can't you do *something*?"

    Well, it was time for the old standby.  I put my head to one side and
looked off into space.  "Well, maybe we could work something out...but you do
realize that our fee is five hundred thousand yen...per girl..."

    Princess Love got very pale.  Yeah, that always gets 'em.  "F...Five
hundred thousand?...that's..."  She bit her lip for a moment.  "...two and a
half million for all of them!"

    I saw my faith in the Japanese education system was justified.  "Quality
costs money.  We're very good at what we do."

    "But..."  An inner struggle was evident on her face...Then my mental
chuckling stopped when her expression hardened.  "Two and a half million...
I'll get it somehow.  It's a small price to pay for love."  She stalked out of
the office, slamming the door behind her.

    My heart sank.  I *really* didn't want to see her again.  I scowled at
Kumiko to take my mind off of Princess Love.  "You *are* a magical girl,
aren't you?  You hid so she wouldn't recognize you from somewhere."

    Kumiko giggled as she sat back in her chair, and stuck her tongue out at
me.

    "Why me?" I muttered, and threw another dart.

    Itami opened the door and caught the dart in midair, inches from his face.

    I stared.  Itami held the dart in exactly the same spot in the air as he
moved out of the way and let Sailor H into the room, and closed the door.
He then moved the dart along its flight path and stuck it into the board.

    It was a bullseye.

    "Getting better."  He sat down at his desk.

    I blinked, before my eyes dried out.  "Uh...good morning, Itami.  H."

    "Who's this?" H sneered.

    "This...is Kumiko, the secret magical girl."  Kumiko pulled her eyelid
down at me.  "She's here as a representative of our clients."

    "We saw Princess Love coming out of here, what did *she* want?"

    "She wanted us to kill the Sailor Shoggoths."  H started laughing softly.
"Yeah, that's pretty much what I told her."  Just then, the door opened again.

    "Hey, was that Princess Love I saw just now?" Aika asked.

    "Hey there, Aika.  Yeah, it was.  We might have to kill her eventually.
Again.  Uh...Aika, this is Kumiko, a representative of our clients.  If we
decide to take the contract, that is.  I wanted to talk it over with all of
you first."  I noticed Aika and Kumiko seemed to be glaring at each other for
some reason, which, needless to say, was not something I wanted to have to
deal with.  Then the door opened again.

    "Hey all, what's up?"  Keikaku shuffled in, carrying a big load of...
leather straps, or something, on his back.

    "Hey, Keikaku, good to see you.  What the hell's all that?"

    "Shambler saddles."  He grinned at me.

    I grinned back.  "You sneaky bastard, you read my mind."

    "It's a quick read," H put in.

    "Yeah, go tie yourself up, H," I said cheerily.  "Now all we need is--"

    The door opened again.  "Good morning, everyone," Reika said demurely.
"Good morning, Yoi."  She smiled at me, which gave me a little warm feeling...
until I noticed how Aika was glaring at me.  Reika turned to Keikaku.  "Hello,
Keikaku," she murmured.

    Keikaku smiled.  "It's good to see you, Reika."  Then he turned to me.
"Well, Yoi...it's your show.  What are we doing?"

    I blinked, and looked around.  Everyone was looking at me.  Well...I guess
it *was* my show.  "Ladies and gentlemen," I said, smiling, "Here's what's
up..."

=====

    Once I got across the idea that we were now being paid to strike back at
Ultra, everyone agreed quite readily.  The general consensus was that rescuing
Kyo and Mai would be a good thing too.

    Aika suggested we start the raid immediately.  That surprised me, but
everyone else seemed pretty psyched about it, so that's what we ended up
doing.

    I was rather proud of the plan I'd worked out for the raid.  I'd noticed
on the map that good sites to hit made a sort of rough frying pan shape.  The
rooms holding Kyo and Mai were on the end of the 'handle', but on the roof
away from everything else.  Therefore we would split into two teams; one team
would rampage around in the 'pan' section, both causing damage and acting as a
distraction...while the second team would go up the outside of the building,
free the prisoners, and then drop back down and work through the 'handle' to
join up with the rest of the group with a sort of two-prong attack...or, if
things weren't going well, to simply run for it.

    See, team 1 would consist of Itami, H, Reika and Keikaku riding three
shamblers (I didn't think Itami and H would mind sharing one).  I felt pretty
sure they'd be more or less invulnerable to anything short of the Sailor
Shoggoths or the full complement of Shining Crayon Knights.  (Unfortunately,
either of those might actually turn up, which was why Itami and I had walkie-
talkies.)  Those of you keeping score at home will realize that team 2 would
consist of me, Aika and Kumiko.  Before rescuing Kyo and Mai, we'd be fast and
quiet; after, we'd be major ass-kickers.

    Negotiating with clients was something I was good at, but it was always
something of a chore.  This was the part of the job I really liked.

    So, in short order, I was standing in an alleyway with Aika and Kumiko,
watching Ultra's building.  Itami had just called in to say they were going to
start rampaging now.  The plan was for him to wait two minutes, then call in;
if everything was going well, we'd start climbing...if not, we'd fade away, or
if things were really bad, go and help.

    Just as the plans said, there was a fire escape.  The building itself was
actually four stories high.  On the roof, I could see what looked like the
little building that marked the top of a stairway, except that it was four or
five rooms all together.  That was what we were aiming for.

    I glanced irritably at Kumiko.  "Shouldn't you transform sometime soon?"

    "Who, me?" she said innocently.

    "Kumiko, you said you wouldn't get in our way.  That means you have to
keep up."

    "Oh, you're so serious, Yoi-san!  Don't worry, I can go as fast as she can
just as I am now."  She smirked at Aika.  "I even have a weapon, see?"  She
pulled out some sort of device that extended to a meter-long staff.

    I rolled my eyes.  "Well, if you get left behind, I'm not coming back for
you."  Strange...I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something
familiar about her...

    "Yoi?"

    "Hm?"  I looked at Aika.  I suddenly realized that she hadn't called me
'Yoi-san' in a while...

    "How do you want to do this?  You just going to run up the fire escape?  I
could probably carry you up by jumps if you wanted."

    "Hm...well, how about you jump me up to the first floor, so we don't have
to pull down the ladder.  After that, it looks like it would be hard to jump
around with the confining stairs and things.

    "Okay!"  She smiled.  I smiled back, but just then the walkie-talkie
crackled.

    "Yoi!  You there?  Oooh..."

    "Hm?"  I put the walkie-talkie to my ear.  "H?  Is that you?"

    "Mmm, yeah...that's me.  Itami's a bit...busy right now, so..."

    "Yeah, whatever.  What's going on over there?"

    She giggled into the receiver.  "Everything's going just like it...ooh,
should.  Yes, just like that.  Magical girls, but not too many.  Nothing we
can't...handle.  Mmmmm."

    What the hell?  "H, are you sure everything's okay?  You sound kind of..."
Suddenly Koi hit me with a thought.

    More giggling.  "Mmmm...well, you see, Itami and I are riding..."  She
broke down into giggles interspersed with gasps.

    I tried to push mental images out of my mind.  "Yeah, I get it.  We're
going to start now."

    "Oh, yes!  YES!"

    I snapped off the walkie-talkie.

    "What was that?" Aika asked, looking bewildered.

    "Obscene phone call," I muttered.

=====

    I looked up at the fire escape.  "So...what now?"

    Aika suddenly swept me off my feet, one arm under my shoulders and one
under my knees.  I just had time to catch her wink before I felt gravity
clawing at my body...

    We landed with a CLANG! on the fire escape.  Aika set me down, as another
clang signaled Kumiko keeping up with us.

    I looked at Aika dazedly.  "Give me some warning next time.  Please."

    "Aw, but you're so cute when you're dizzy!"

    I blinked, and decided not to respond to that.  The trip up the fire
escape was rather boring, so I'll skip to the cells.  We found ourselves
looking at a rather heavily fortified door, protected by both mundane locks
and magical wards.  Kumiko bent down and peered at it.

    "I can open this," she asserted.  "Yoshiko-neechan taught me.  You keep
watch."

    I blinked as a really paranoid thought struck me.  "You mean...we wait
here, where you told us, for whatever it is to happen?"

    Kumiko looked back at me.  I was startled to notice that her eyes seemed
moist.  "Don't you trust me, Yoi-san?..."

    "I don't know anything about you, kid," I snapped, pulling out a trusty
pistol.  "But maybe we'll just find another way to open the door."

    "Put down the gun, evil scourge!"

    Oh no.  That voice...

    I turned around to see three girls in magical fukus facing us.  Kei
radiated righteous anger, while Yuna and Mina looked rather embarassed at
their companion's declaration...but none of them looked very happy to see us.

=====

    "Look, ladies...I can explain."

    "You tried to kill us!" Kei squealed.  "For that alone, I, Pretty
EcoWarrior Solina, should send you to obilvion!"  She made some gestures.

    "Kei..." Yuna said wearily.

    Kei spun.  "YU-naaaaa!  How many times do I have to TELL you?" she whined.

    "Quiet, you two," Mina said in a voice which was not unkind, but very
authoritative.  Yuna and Kei quieted down instantly.  "Well, Yoi...what do
you have to say for yourself?"

    I thought fast.  "Ladies, these are my companions, Pretty Deadly and
Kumiko.  Deadly, Kumiko, these are the 'Magical Women', Mina, Yuna and Pretty
EcoWarrior Solina."

    Everyone blinked at me which, needless to say, was a welcome change.

    "Ladies, I'm happy to report that Reika Ichiko, last of the four
Necronomicute researchers, has severed all ties with Shub-Niggurath and her
cults and will never be involved in any sort of yoma production again."

    As I'd hoped, that startled them.  But Mina recovered quickly.  "But what
about those things wreaking havoc downstairs?"

    Uhoh.  If they knew about both teams, things might be going wrong rather
fast.  "Oh, those are just some things we're using to attack this base of
Ultra's.  You don't need to worry about them."

    "But you were supposed to--" Kei looked around nervously.  "Take care of
her...*permanently*."

    "I'm sorry," I said, feeling oddly calm.  "That's no longer possible.
She's one of the Magical Girl Hunters now."

    They stared at me.  Yuna looked at Mina, who looked back gravely.  "I
guess we need to think--"

    "HEY!" Kei yelled.  "What are you two doing?"

    Oh shit, I thought.  Time slowed, like it sometimes does for me during
battles.  I pulled my pistol up (fortunately I hadn't let go of it all this
time) and shot at the 'Magical Women'.  I really didn't want to hurt them, so
I aimed between Yuna and Kei's heads.  Just as I planned, the bullet tore
through the air by their ears, scaring them both nearly wandless.  As the
three dived for cover, I fell forward and twisted around.  I saw Aika and
Kumiko also ducking down.  All the mundane locks on the door but one seemed
to be open, so I squeezed off another shot at that one, hoping all the magical
stuff was already taken care of.  The door started to swing open, but suddenly
there was an incredibly loud sound--

    --I was airborne, my stomach floating--

    --I spun around, and hit my foot on something--

    --I heard someone calling my name--

    --I felt a sensation of peace wash over me--

    --and then I looked up and saw an angel.

    The angel put its arms around me, and suddenly gravity sunk its claws into
me again.  I held on desperately, and listened to the beating of the angel's
wings...and then we were back, on the ground, holding each other.

    And then I realized three things.  First, the 'angel' was actually Kyo.
Second, Kyo had pulled off her shirt in order to free her wings.  And third,
without a shirt, her gender was quite obvious.

    "I can't believe I ever thought you were a guy," I said.

    SMACK!

    Me and my big mouth.

=====

    After a few minutes, I pieced it together.  I had shot the last lock off
the door to Kyo and Mai's rooms, and an instant later one of the 'Magical
Women' had done some attack which blasted me into the air and off the roof.  I
had hit my foot on the top of the fire escape, and started spinning.  Kyo had
been waiting behind the door and jumped out.  When she saw me falling, she
ripped her shirt off, flew down and caught me.  Seems like too short a span of
time, I know, but apparently angels can fly pretty darn fast.

    Or even half-angels.  Mai was now telling us how Ultra had fallen in love
with a human woman, blah blah blah.  He was telling it so grudgingly that it's
not even worth recording the details.

    Incidentally, the 'Magical Women' had disappeared after my fall.  Aika and
Kumiko had been too preoccupied to notice where they went.

    I rubbed my face.  "I'm sorry, Kyo," I said for the nth time.  "My brain
just short-circuited, I think.  I have a feeling near-death experiences do
that to you.  See, I'm even starting to babble, that's how much this..." I
took a deep breath.  "...Anyway...thanks for saving my life.  Again."

    Kyo smiled, a little.  "That's okay.  I guess I forgive you."  She was
dressed again, in a sort of jumpsuit that wasn't feminine by any stretch of
the imagination, but at least didn't disguise things.  "But what the hell are
you doing here?"

    I gave a short summary of my meeting with the Balancers.  "So, I guess
what they want is for you to try and put Ultra back in his rightful place, so
he doesn't screw with us mortals anymore.  Personally, I don't really care,
since I've already earned quite a bit just by freeing you."  I grinned, but
Kyo was looking off into space.

    "Do you really not care, Yoi?" she asked softly.

    I really didn't know what to say to that, so...I blinked.

    Kyo looked over at Mai, who was talking with Aika and Kumiko.  "What would
you think...if I said we wanted to join the Magical Girl Hunters?"

    "I think..."  I winced; Koi was prodding me to be very careful about what
I said.  "I think...that the couple of times we've worked together, we've
gotten along pretty well."

    She smiled at me.  "So it's okay?"

    "Well...I'll have to ask the rest of the team...but since they've been
deferring to my authority recently, I'd have to say, yeah, it's okay."

    "Thanks."  We smiled at each other.  "Yoi..."

    "Hm?"

    "Hey, Yoi!  We going to go kick some ass now?"

    That, if you couldn't guess, was Mai.  I looked over and called, "Just a
sec!"  Back to Kyo, "Yes?"

    "Oh, nothing.  Come on, let's go!"

    Yet again, I blinked.

=====

    I gave Kyo and Mai a few of my spare weapons, we broke in some windows,
and the ass-kicking began.

    Actually, there wasn't much to do in our section.  Most of the stuff on
the 'handle' was laboratories of various sorts.  Very few magical girls were
in evidence; mostly there were just scientists, who scattered like roaches
when we showed up.  Some of the rooms were pretty weird, though.  There were
some rather strange magical girls in one room, that sort of reminded me of H.
They ran before we could take down more than a couple (fortunately, I thought;
they looked pretty good in those outfits...).  There were a few rooms that had
nothing but computers, which we took great pleasure in destroying.  One room
had what seemed to be a large, purple, foam rubber lizard floating suspended
in a vat of greenish liquid.  In unspoken agreement, we tossed a couple of
grenades in and moved down the hallway.  Luckily, it didn't seem like they
were expecting us to come through here, and all the resistance was being
concentrated on the other team.

    I kept an eye on Kyo and Mai during all this redecorating.  They seemed
rather grim and determined; I hoped that meant they had finally reconciled
themselves to fighting their father.  While I was at it, I watched Aika and
Kumiko as well; Aika seemed delighted, as always, to be doing any sort of
large-scale weapons usage, while Kumiko seemed somehow disappointed...maybe in
the fact that there wasn't much actual fighting going on...

    My walkie-talked crackled again.  "Hey, what's up?"

    "Yoi?"  Keikaku's voice.  "We got a *ksssh*lem."

    "Keikaku?  There's some interference.  Where's Itami?  Or H?"

    "*kssh* worry, just lent me the *ksssssh*.  A bunch of girls, H called
them the *ksssssh*on Knights, showing up.  We're withdr*ksssh*."

    I felt cold.  "Keikaku?  You didn't say the Shining Crayon Knights, did
you?  You're withdrawing?"

    "*ksssh*drawi*ksssh*to break cont*kssssssh*later."  The receiever clicked
off.

    "Keikaku?  Keikaku?  Damn it!"  I snapped the antenna closed.  "Okay,
people, it sounds like there's a problem.  We're withdrawing.  Where's the
nearest exit?"

    "Yoi, we're almost back to where the other team came in!" Aika said.  "We
could just look in on them."

    Once again, everyone looked at me.  "Oh, all right," I snapped, "But we
have to make it quick.  We don't have enough firepower to give them much of an
assist."

    Aika nodded.  "All right, according to the map, it should be...right
through this door."  I had just enough time to marvel at the fact that Aika
had kept track of where we were all this time before she opened it.

    About thirty Shining Crayon Knights turned to look at us.

    Oh shit, I thought.

=====

    Needless to say, we ran.  I had time to be grateful that I hadn't seen any
sign of the other team beyond the Knights before we came to an intersection.
I took a left, and--shit, not again!  Aika went right.  From the sound of it,
only Kumiko went the way I did.

    And one of my plans had finally been working the way it was supposed to...

    Suddenly my shoulder was nearly dislocated.  I almost yelped in pain, but
a hand clamped over my mouth as I was dragged backwards through a doorway, the
the door closing behind me.

    I heard what sounded like fifteen people running past the doorway...then
silence.  Then, "I'm sorry, Yoi-san."  The hand left my mouth.

    That was Kumiko's voice.  My brain caught up with events; she must have
pulled me into this room, it looked like an office, and the horde of Knights
had rushed right on by.

    "It's okay...pretty smart, actually.  But not very gentle."  I moved my
arm, and winced.  Fortunately nothing was torn or out of place, but it would
feel like hell tomorrow.  "Well...we should probably go find the others."

    "Wait.  ...If we wait for a while, they'll get really confused and give up
searching."

    I looked at Kumiko.  In the back of my mind, Koi was yelling something.
There was something about her expression...

    "Yoi.  Do you know who I am?"

    Somehow I knew 'Kumiko' wouldn't cut it.  "You...look familiar."

    She looked down.  "You and I...we did some bad things to each other.  But
it's okay, because I've forgiven you.  And I hope you can forgive me."

    Koi was trying to explain it to me.  Damn it, he'd figured it out already,
but I was still in the dark.  He who does not know what he knows is a fool, I
thought.  Where had I heard that?...

    "You were right about me being a magical girl.  I'm going to transform
now, okay?  Just...don't be too upset."

    She took out a wand, and was bathed in pink light for a minute...and my
heart stopped.

    "No...not you..."

    "Yoi..."  She stepped closer.  I could see tears in her eyes.  "I'm not
going to hurt you.  Please trust me."

    "I...but it can't be you.  I mean, you're way too old."

    "You saw how the Balancers fast-forwarded time a few hours for you.  They
can do other stuff, too.  They could have kept you in that room with the table
for ten years, and sent you back to this world an instant after you left.  I
know."

    It made sense.  That was what really got me...part of me had known it was
true since then...

    "I told you that sword would send people to the Balancers instead of
Heaven...or Hell.  The knife Keikaku gave you, it does the same thing.
Yoshiko-neechan raised me.  She was your age a couple days ago...if you see
what I mean."

    I took a deep breath...and let it out.  "Okay.  I get it.  I believe you.
Just...what do you want?"

    She took another step.  "Yoi...you have to understand, for ten years I
thought about what you did.  At first I hated you...but then Yoshiko-neechan
and the others showed me that what I had done was wrong.  Then I respected
you.  Then I admired you.  Then...then, after waiting so long,  I finally got
to see you, and you were just like I'd always imagined..."

    I almost ran, right then.  It was almost too much to take.

    But I guess it wasn't.

    "Yoi..."

    She was right in front of me.  Tears running down her face...I couldn't
turn away.  Maybe we were linked by fate, or something.

    Captain Kawaii moved her face towards mine...

    ...And I'll be damned if I know if it was me or Koi, but one of us kissed
her.

=====

Next time, on Magical Girl Hunters #19!  Ultra strikes back!  Princess Love
gets her revenge!  Our heroes visit a dance club, and gear up for the 20th
episode celebration extravaganza!  Or maybe NOT!

Don't ask me, Matthew Campbell's writing it.  Pity him.

Well, I think that one went pretty well too.  What about you guys?
Cover: It had sincerity, but lacked guts.
Vedic: Can't somebody shut him up?
Ki: I think they're going to flame us clear off the net.  It was fun, though.
Keikaku: Insane in the membrane...o/~
Tsugi: Work on my story now.
Bandolier: That's it, move along, nothing to see here.