You know, life would be a hell of a lot easier if I wasn't dragged down by this stupid conscience of mine. Take for example, my present situation. I'm lying on my stomach in a copse of trees with God knows how many people shooting at me for God knows what reason. Perhaps because me and my coworkers just wasted four seeming perfectly innocent 14 year-old girls, but this seems too complex a setup for that. Which means that either our targets somehow found out about us, or our employers double-crossed us, which has been happening too damn often these past few weeks. Anyway, normally, in such a situation, I would simply duck into the conveniently place manhole with my partner Itami, get the hell out of there, find out who was responsible for trying to perforate us, and extract some poorly planned revenge that would nearly get us killed, but be extremely satisfying. But recently, Itami and I took on some extra help, including Aika, a newly created magical girl whose two greatest obsessions seem to be guns, and me. And who also happens to be lying about a twenty yards away from me, bleeding to death from a gunshot wound to the stomach. If I try to get to he to help her, I'll most likely be shot and killed. If I hightail it out of here, Aika will die. This has just been a really crappy week. ***************************** Magical Girl Hunters Part 21: Love, Death, and Betrayal (Yet Again) By Brickgirl Created by Aaron Peori ***************************** "Itami?" I stage-whispered, hoping he'd hear me over the shooting, and hoped the shooters wouldn't. There was no sign of him -- either he'd headed out of here or was hidden out of my view. I shifted position and bit back a yell as my injured hand turned wrong under me. Bullets wizzed overhead and I pushed myself as flat on the ground as I could without completely crushing my stupid chest. I could see Aika moving. Thank God she wasn't dead yet. That meant that there was still time. Now all I needed was some distraction to, um, distract the shooters long enough for me to run out, grab her, and take her to safety before she bled to death. I waited. No distraction appeared. "Whoever's in charge of this mess must really hate us," I muttered __________ In a time and space beyond human comprehension, a great being of cosmic power sat contemplating a horrifyingly complicated puzzle that such cosmic beings had struggled with since time began. "Damn Rubix Cube!" the being snarled, throwing the infernal contraption across the room and zapping it with a blast of power. It fell to the floor, smoking. The being laughed. A light began to flash on a panel of a machine that sat on a table in front of the being. It flipped a few switches, and an image of a shootout in a park on earth appeared. "So, Yoi is really screwed this time." The being sighed. "He is shot at by unknown multitudes, his beloved Aika is dying with no way for him to save her, and he is still trapped in a female body." Insane laughter filled the room. "Who ever is in charge of this mess must really hate him." A message flashed on the screen. "Rectify situation . . . I have to fix all of this? Unbelievable. What, is someone who hasn't shown up in the story for a while supposed to magically appear and save his ass. Like that's believable." The being leaned back, tapping it's chin. It thought for a few minutes. Then, it shrugged. "Oh well, can't think of anything else any better to do." __________ Aika choked once and appeared to stop breathing. I could see the gunman advancing. All hope seemed lost. I was almost desperate enough to pray for a miracle . . . When a huge blast of rainbow-colored light blinded me. I blinked several times to clear my vision. A fuku hovered before me. I followed it up until I found myself looking into the overly-cheerful face of Captain Kawaii. "Are you all right, Yoi?" she asked, helping me to my feet. I nodded dumbly. Her presence still gave me the chills, remembering the demon spawn that Ultra had tricked us into going after. Once again, I hoped he was going through hell up in heaven. "Aika," I muttered. Looking out into the scorched clearing, I saw several fried bodies, but no Aika." "The Balancers took her. We take care of our own." I turned back to Captain Kawaii. "She will be fine. Now, get your partner and lets get out of here. I have a business proposition for you." __________ An hour later, Itami, a detransformed Kumiko, and I sat at our office. Itami was throwing darts, as usual, looking as if he had been sitting there for hours instead of dodging bullets just a bit ago. Kumiko sat next to me smiling, obviously remembering our kiss a few days ago. I was too tired and angry to care. "Kumiko, was the hell is going on. Who were those gunmen?" She continued to smile at me, her eyes sparkling. It was creeping me out. She had been seven years old less then two months ago, and been brought back from the dead twice. Even as accustomed to weirdness as I had become, there was NO way I would be getting into any kind of relationship with this girl. It still hurt me to think that the last girl I slept with had given up her soul to become a big black blob in the service of a being of pure evil from another dimension. I really knew how to pick them. "Yoi, remember how Ultra wasn't the only one manufacturing magical girls in the city?" I nodded. Good thing too, or we'd be out of business. "Well, magical girls are starting to become a huge commodity in the universal battle between good and evil. The forces of good employ them, of course, and the more intelligent evil masterminds use them to kill off competitor youma. New magical girl creation groups are popping up all over, trying to make a quick killing while the market is hot. UniOptics is a dummy cover for one such group. The specialize in technically enhanced magical girls and kamens." "Like the Magical Hacker Federation Four." Kumiko nodded. I slammed my fist down. God damn it, how many times were we going to get screwed over? "They wanted us out of the way, I suppose. Bad for business. But what is your interest in all this?" "The Balancers are worried about the effect of so many magical girls running around. It was never meant for so many to exist at one time, and it is upsetting the cosmic balance." "That's something I don't understand. I thought that only a few had the power to create magical girls, like Ultra." Kumiko sighed. "That's how it was, once. However, there was one entrusted with the creation of magical girls who saw it as a way to seek earthly wealth. He sold is knowledge to anyone who could come up with the money. Ironically, He was killed by a rouge magical girl who had been created by one of his clients. By then, the damage was done." "So now, there are all kinds of nuts out there pumping out magical girls like they were some kind of automatic weapons?" Kumiko nodded solemnly. I grinned at Itami. "Looks like we picked the right line of work after all, partner." Itami grunted and threw another dart. The dart board was so full of them there was almost no space left on the board. "Anyway, the Balancers are interested in hiring you to shut down UniOptics production of magical girls. It should be a piece of cake after Ultra, and I'm sure you are interested in extracting revenge on them anyway." I nodded. "Sure, as soon as Aika has recovered . . ." She shook her head. "We may be too late then. I will take her place if you need another hand." She smiled that sugary smile at me again, and I wished to god that Aika was sitting there instead of Kumiko. For absolutely no reason, 'Hate is very, very bad . . .' started running through my head. I took it as a bad omen. "Do they make kamens there?" That was Itami. The two of us looked over at him in surprise. "Yes, I think so," Kumiko replied. "Most production places do, to keep the magical girls happy and encouraged." "If becoming a magical girl turned you female, Yoi, perhaps transforming in to a kamen-something will turn you back." I stared at him in amazement. It was times like these that I seriously wondered what went on in Itami's mind. I turned to Kumiko. "Do you think it would work?" She batted her eyes. "Anything's worth a try." This was just getting to weird for me. "Sure. We'll reconvene tomorrow, at . . . . Kumiko, where is their headquarters located?" "Let's just all meet back here tomorrow." She giggled, blew me a kiss, then vanished. "She's pretty cute," Itami said. "Shut up, or I'll have her break your arm again." __________ I lay in bed that night, depressed as hell. Why couldn't I have a normal relationship with a normal girl. Yeah, maybe it was my fault, choosing the line of work I did, but what did a boy barely out of school, eyes bright with money-making possibilities of blowing up pre-pubescent fighters of love and justice know? It was Reika that really got to me. I had liked her, REALLY liked her. And she had liked me, before she tried to kill me in her service to Shubby-chan. I mean, it really hurts to find out your girlfriend lied to you, especially about being human. Yeah, I enjoyed blowing her head off when I found out the truth, but it hurt like hell as well. Then was Kumiko. She seemed sweet enough now, but it was impossible to forget the psychotic rampages of Captain Kawaii. She freakin tried to kill us. Very painfully. Multiple times. That tends to put a damper on things. I also can't forget what . . . a certain person had said about the effects of being brought back to life multiple times on one's mind. Not only had she given me nightmares, but I still found her pretty damn hard to trust. That pretty much left Aika. She was a gun-loving sociopath, a girl after my own heart, for all she was a magical girl as well. I knew I could trust her, and she absolutely adored me. Not to mention she was pretty cute, despite the age difference making a relationship technically illegal. I decided to have a talk with her as soon as she had recovered . . . well, as soon as I had recovered too. I rolled over. Stupid female body. I had so much trouble sleeping these days. It just wasn't the same lying on my stomach anymore, if you get my drift. After an hour of tossing and turning, I finally fell asleep. My last thought as I drifted off to sleep was "I hope things go back to normal soon." __________ Leaning back it a soft, plush chair, the cosmic being snickered. "Yeah, right. You wish." ***************************** ***************************** Will Yoi ever have a satisfying relationship, or will a continuing stream of authors simply toy with his emotions? Will the attack on UniOptics be successful, or will another main character be shot? Will Ash make the next part extra long to make Brickgirl's incompetence? Will the Rubix Cube ever be solved? Will any of these questions be answered? Why are you still reading this? E-mail all complaints to Brickgirl@hotmail.com Complaints will be ignored, and complainers will be eaten by rabid pigs. Have a nice day!