Otaku Wish Fulfillment Theater
Started by Scott Schimmel

Chapter 2:  Oracle or No Oracle...That, and a Brief Geography Lesson!
By Delfina

^_~

"Are we there yet?"

Ardweden sighed.  "No, Scott."

"You know, I think he's becoming a Usagi-like magical girl now," Dan
whispered to Steve, who grinned and nodded.

Scott turned around to glare at the two.  "I heard that."

Kate suddenly appeared in front of the little party.  "We're almost there!
Yay!  You can see it from that convenient overlook over there."  She
pointed.

The group walked over to the convenient overlook, conveniently labeled
'Convenient Overlook of Delfi -- Don't lean on the fence'.  The town was
picturesque, with structures resembling ancient Greek and Roman
architecture -- ie. Lots of columns and stuff.  The city was built in a
circular arrangement, with the tallest structure being in the very middle.
A large neon sign with an arrow stood beside it, flashing "Oracle at Delfi!
Open!".

"Well," Illyria said, "Looks like that's the place."  He flipped his coat
dramatically and started heading down the path, with the rest of the party
following behind him.

^_~

Entering the town, Illyria got a lot of strange looks from various
villagers, and some made a strange gesture whenever he passed.  Some would
run up to Ardweden, smile at her, say a few polite greetings, and give her
flowers, or...weirdly...pictures or statues of bishounen.

"What's going on?" Ardweden asked, looking at her latest acquisition
curiously - a small figurine of Irvine which Kate snatched as soon as she
saw it.

"Maybe, um, Illyria scares them or something?" Dan suggested.

"But that doesn't explain how they're acting towards Ard," Scott noted.

"That Oracle is right up ahead, let's just go there and get out," Steve
said.  The others nodded and quickened their pace.

^_~

The temple was a white marble structure with beautiful statues in every
niche.  Flowers were everywhere, their scent filling the air, and in the
archways crystals hung, catching the light whenever the wind blew.
Ardweden's eyes widened.  "Ooh, shiny!"  Everyone else sweatdropped.

Kate pulled out a map.  "Okay, where is this Oracle person?"

Dan looked curiously at Kate.  "Where did you get the map?"

"At the little information booth up front, next to the gift shop."

"Oh."

"Do you need help?"  The party looked up at the speaker, a tall, dark, and
handsome man wearing black shinyleather pants and a loose white button down
shirt with the top open.  He took Illyria's hand.  "Ah, I see you already
have the sacrificial bishounen.  This way."

Illyria snatched his hand away.  "Pardon?  Sacrifice?"  He reached for his
sword and started to pull it out.

Steve stepped in between Illyria and the unnamed man.  "May I ask what the
Oracle's name is?" 

He blinked.  "Yu-Mei." 

Steve smiled, good he was getting somewhere.  "Okay... what's the Oracle's
name?" 

"Yu-Mei." 

Steve's smile faltered.  "I know that, so what's his name?" 

"Yu-Mei."  

"Grrrr..."

Ardweden decided to be diplomatic and interrupt.  "Do you think you could
take us to the Oracle, sir?"

The man looked at Ardweden, his eyes widening.  He quickly knelt down in
front of her, "Delfina-sama...we did not know you were with this group.
The Oracle is always ready for you."  He stood up quickly and started
walking down the hall, leaving Ardweden blinking at his back.

"Did he just say...Delfina-sama?"

Scott shrugged, "Let's just follow him and get to the Oracle.  Come on,
our sacrificial bishounen."  A rose whizzed by her head.  "Um, I mean,
come on Illyria..."

They followed him through a maze of corridors and finally ended up in a
somewhat messy room, plushies, flowers, and shiny objects were scattered
everywhere and a young man seemed to be absorbed in what was happening on
his computer screen.  Wait, computer screen? 
 
"I thought we were in some sort of medieval RPG.  Where'd the computer come
 from?" Dan asked loudly, pointing at said machine.  The person sitting at
the computer looked up.

"Robin?!"

Robin blinked.  "Oh, hey guys.  What's up?"

"Robin, what are you doing here?  And what's this about sacrificial
bishounen?" Illyria demanded.

Robin sweatdropped.  "Yeah, about that..."  He nodded at their guide, who
bowed and left the room, closing the door behind him.  "See, Delfina
thought it would be funny to demand a bishounen for an answer, and they
kind of took her seriously."

"Tsuin-chan's here too?  Is she the Oracle?" Ardweden asked.

He shook his head.  "No, I'm the Oracle."

"But, didn't Ravi say the Oracle was a girl?" Kate said, looking puzzled.

Steve nodded.  "Yeah, he did, and that she knows everything.  Did you go
through some sort of...change like they did?" He pointed at Illyria and
Scott, who glared back.

"Erm, no.  The last Oracle was female and she ran away with one of the
sacrificial bishounen."  He jumped as he heard an 'uh oh' come from his
computer.  "Hold on, I have to see what that message was." Ignoring their
puzzled looks, he clicked on the flashing note on the ICQ menu he had open
to receive the message.  Scanning it quickly, he turned back to the party.
"Okay, Delfina says hi.  And she says that you have a level thirteen
security clearance, or at least Ardweden does."

Scott brightened, "Level thirteen?  Cool!  So what does that get us?"

"Basic info.  Level thirteen is the lowest level."

Steve looked at Robin suspiciously.  "That's only there for plot reasons,
isn't it?  So that the whole plot can't be told to us at once?"

"Bingo.  Here, have a cookie." Robin handed him a plate of cookies.

Kate pulled out a notebook.  "Okay, start giving us some basic info.  Where
are we?"

"The City of Delfi."

"Where is Delfina?" Ardweden poked Robin.

"I think she's visiting the Goddess of Destruction, on the Isle of
Bishounen, baby."

"There really is a Goddess of Destruction?" Steve laughed.  "Okay, what's
her name?"

"Todd-sama.  Next?"

Ardweden poked Robin again and dumped the pile of gifts she got on his
desk.  "Wait, that guy called me 'Delfina-sama'.  Is Delfina a goddess?"

"Yup."  He sat back, silent, then decided to add some more information when
six glares focused upon him.  "She's one of the four deities in this world.
Goddess of Kawaii.  The others are Stephica-sama, the Goddess of Erotica,
and Phoebe-sama the Goddess of Whimsy.  Stay away from them.  Phoebe-sama
might help you, on a whim, but then again she might do something really
nasty to you, on a whim.  Stephica-sama...well you know Steph.  She
considers herself the love goddess.  Anyways, these three deities also rule
over the past, present, and future.  Would you like some tea, maybe some
orange chocolate scones?  Darjeeling is the favorite tea here in Delfi."

"Gee, I wonder which one Delfi is," Ardweden snickered.

Robin snapped his fingers.  "Oh yeah.  And then there's Todd-sama, the
Goddess of Destruction, baby.  Hoo boy.  AVOID him."

"HIM?!"

"Don't ask."

"So what can you tell us about those Seals of Maguffin?" Dan asked.

"Seals of Maguffin?"  Robin rummaged through some papers on his desk.
"Seals...seals...I knew I saw something on those...Aha!  Seals of Maguffin.
Seven in number, they need to be brought together, blah blah.  You already
know that part.  What else do you need to know?"

Scott [stared] at Robin.  "Where do we find them?"

"Oh!  Wow, you've got the Brackets of [POWER].  Well, they're scattered
throughout the world in seven different regions.  The first one is
somewhere in the Calculus Mountain Range.  I'd tell you exactly where,
but..."

"Level thirteen security clearance?" Illyria guessed.

"Right!  Here, have a cookie."

"No thanks."

"Anything else we need to know?" Kate asked brightly, scribbling madly in
her notebook.

Robin thoughtfully rubbed his chin.  "The Dan Woods are infested with Black
Mages.  Pick Two Flowers, that'll keep them away."

"...Right.  So, can you help us in any way?" Scott said, looking around the
room for magical artifacts of assistance.

"Supplies?"  Robin snapped his fingers.  "I can give you supplies and a
map, how about that?"

"You're Delfina-sama's Oracle or something, right?  Can't you give us some
sort of magical protection?" Steve pointed at one of the various
odd-looking objects in the room.  "Like that!  What does that do?"

"It's a Hyperdimensional Tesseractakoosh, of course."

Steve muttered under his breath, "Looks like a koosh ball to me."

"It's a koosh ball that can reach into other dimensions."

Scott perked up.  "Other dimensions?  Like our home dimension?"

Kate picked it up and threw it out the window.  A loud splash could be
heard.  "Whoops.  Looks like it's lost now.  Guess we're staying here!"

The other members of the party groaned.

Robin pondered, then got up and pulled out a Gourry plushie and handed it
to Ardweden.  "This is a Mystical Artifact (tm).  Only use it in the most
dire of situations."

"Ooh, Kawaii!"  Ardweden cuddled it.  Robin sweatdropped.  

"Maybe Ard shouldn't carry it..."

Dan pulled it out of Ardweden's grasp and tucked it away.  "So what does it
do?"

"I...don't know."  The group facefaulted.  "I do know that it's very, very
powerful.  Don't use it unless you absolutely have to."

Steve cocked an eyebrow.  "A Doomsday Device?"

"Yup.  Here's a map too."  Robin handed the map to Steve, who looked at it
confusedly.

"It's...not filled in all the way."

"That's because those parts haven't been described yet," was the
matter-of-fact reply.  He pointed at a spot on the map.  "Look, you're here
in Delfi -- it's a port city.  This is the Mechalinkian Ocean, and the Isle
of Bishounen is rumored to be in the middle of it somewhere.  The kingdom
of Illyria is over here, and on the other side is the Dan Woods, which
border the Calculus Mountain Range.  The Seven Circles of Seduction are in
the middle of the Dan Woods, that's where Stephica-sama lives.  I forget
where the Tuatara Grove is -- which is Phoebe-sama's home."  He pointed at
all of the blank space.  "And your authors get to figure out the rest of
this as you go along."

Kate blinked.  "Our authors?"

"Whoops, keep forgetting.  Just ignore that last little comment."  Robin
grinned.  "Now, shoo!  You can stay at the temple for the night, but
tomorrow you've got to go.  I have a ton of work to do, Delfi will kill me
if I don't finish."  He hit a button.  "Hotohori will show you to your
rooms."

"Hotohori? From Fushigi Yuugi?" Scott laughed.  "Serious?"

"Delfina-sama occasionally goes and kidnaps random bishounen and adds them
to her harem.  Go figure."

Ardweden snickered.  "Somehow, I'm not surprised."  She frowned.  "How come
she gets to be a goddess and I'm only a main character?"

"Looks like you just got the short branch of the family tree, Ardweden,"
Dan replied.

^_~

Author's Notes:  Really short, I know.  Well, it *is* a chibi.  I did the
most wonderfully self-gratuitous thing I can think of and made myself a
goddess.  Woo!  I rock!  And I limited the pantheon too, hopefully.  And
established the Seals system.  I hope no one kills me for the puns.

Thanks to Phoebe, BlackMage, Ravi and Todd for pre-reading.  ^_^