Otaku Wish Fulfillment Theater
Episode 22
Many, Many Crossovers... That, and a Fighting Tournament!
Written by SaikyoKun (B.J. Gee) saikyo@mechpilot.com
OWFT started by Scott Schimmel

(@_@)

  Hold up, why do you call it an "episode"?  They're called "chapters".

  Because I like "episode" better than "chapter".  That's why.

  You read too much Ultra.  You know that don't you?

  Oh whatever.  Just be quiet and watch the episode...

  It's a text document.

  ...Shut up...

(n_n)


  Over the next ridge, the destined heroes and one plucked, er... plucky mascot 
spotted a town.   As RPG towns came, it was very much like all the rest, save 
one exception, it was HUGE.

  "WOW!" exclaimed Kate, "That town looks pretty important.  I bet there's some 
kind of important event linked to it.  And even if there isn't, there's probably 
a huge sidequest somewhere inside."

  "That's one HUGE castle," remarked Steve looking at the castle in the middle 
that was easily twice the size of the one in Generica.

  "Great," muttered Scott, "another sidequest...  I just hope someone ELSE gets 
engaged this time."

  "Aw, come on Scott," said Dan, "you're not STILL upset about that are you?" 

  "It hasn't even been half a day ye-" Scott began.

  "Uh, you guys," said Ardweden tapping Dan on the shoulder, "Speaking for the 
group, I think we'd all like to find an inn about now."

  The argument quickly abated in favor of finding a place to spend the night, 
and the party trudged off towards the unusually large town.

(^_^)

  Approaching the entrance to the town, the party realized that it was even 
BIGGER than it had looked from a distance.  The large castle that had been seen 
from the ridge was blocked out of view by the tall gates that surrounded the 
city.  A man was standing at the entrance.

  "Let's find out where we are," suggested Dan walking up to the man.  "Excuse 
me could you-"

  "Welcome to Cidgard!" enthused the man.

  "Oh man," groaned Steve, "Not one of *these* guys.

  Suddenly, surprising everyone, the man continued:
  "Is there something you'd like to know?
    * Where are we?
    * What is that mountain over there?
    * Where can we find a place to sleep?
    * What can you tell us about the Seals of Maguffin?"

  "How is he talking in a list?" Steve asked.

  Everyone else shrugged.

  "Well, let's try asking him something on the list then," suggested Kate.  
"Where are we?" she asked the man.

  "You are in the city of Cidgard, the largest city on the entire continent.  
Are you here for the fighting tournament?"

  "Hold up," said Dan waving his arms, "did you said 'Cidgard'?  Don't you mean 
'Midgard'?"

  "No," the man replied, "I mean Cidgard.
  Is there anything else you want to know? 
    * What about that fighting tournament?
    * What is that mountain over there?
    * Where can we find a place to sleep?
    * What can you tell us about the Seals of Maguffin?"

  "What can you tell us about the Seals of Maguffin," Kate replied, not missing 
a beat.

  "The Seals of Maguffin?" the man replied, "I don't know much about them 
myself, but the king might be able to help you.
Is there anything else you want to know? 
    * What about that fighting tournament?
    * What is that mountain over there?
    * Where can we find a place to sleep?
    * How can we speak to the king?"

  "Hmm," thought Kate, "this seems familiar... what game is it from?"

  "How can we speak to the king?" asked Scott, eager to be done with the 
questioning.

  "King Cid is very busy right now organizing the fighting tournament.  If it 
were any other time, you could just sign up at the reception booth.  As it is, 
you'll either have to wait until after the tournament or win it.  It is a custom 
for the king to meet with the victors for a celebration."

  "King Cid?" questioned Steven, "Like from Final Fantasy?  I though he was 
usually a mechanic."

  "In some games he is," replied Dan, "but lately, they-"

  "Oh!" exclaimed the man.  "Did you want to see Mechanic Cid?  He's in the 
industrial district.  All you have to do is take the tr-"

  "Wait," interrupted Ardweden.  "There's more than one Cid?"

  "Yeah.  There's King Cid, Mechanic Cid, Headmaster Cid, he runs the school, 
and Regent Cid, you'll find him in the-"

  "Ah, great," muttered Scott, "It's Markstown revisited."

  "Oh!" exclaimed the man again, "You've been to Markstown?  Have you met my 
friend Mark?"

The entire party (including Illyria,) sweatdropped.

  The man, noticing their lack of response, lapsed back into information mode.
"Is there anything else you want to know? 
    * What about that fighting tournament?
    * What is that mountain over there?
    * Where can we find a place to sleep?"

  "Ooooookay," said Dan still recovering from the sweatdrop, "What about that 
fighting tournament?"

  "The tournament starts in a few days, but signups end today.  If you want to 
sign up, I suggest you get over to the arena.  I can take you there if you want.
Is there anything else you want to know? 
    * What is that mountain over there?
    * Where can we find a place to sleep?"

  "Where can we find a place to sleep?" yawned Ardweden.

  "If you're entering the tournament, lodging is provided by the king.  However, 
you can't leave the hotel until the day of the tournament."

  "Yahooi!" exclaimed Dan shaking his forearm.

"Is there anything else you want to know? 
    * What is that mountain over there?"

  "What mountain is he talking about?" asked Scott looking around.  "There must 
be hundreds."  

  "I think he means that one," Steve said pointing to a Ridiculously Tall 
Mountain (yes, in caps) that the party had overlooked upon their arrival.  
"What's that mountain over there?"

  "That," the man replied proudly, "is Valhallo.  Our greatest tourist 
attraction."

  "Valhallo?" asked Steve, "Don't you mean Valhalla?"

  "No, I mean Valhallo.  And on top is the Tower of Odan."

  "Don't you mean-" Steve paused.

  "Don't I mean what?"

  "...Never mind.  Just take us to the arena."

(^^);

  After going down many streets and side alleys, the party finally made it to 
the battle arena as the sun was setting.  The gate-greeter ushered them inside 
and took them up to a desk where a young girl sat with a feather pen and a piece 
of paper.  "Would you like to sign up for the fighting tournament?" she asked, 
"You're lucky, I was just going to leave."

  Dan, having elected himself leader, stepped up to the desk.  "Yes, we'd like 
to sign up for the tournament."  

  "Which of you will be competing?"

  "What?" asked Dan.

  "Oh, didn't you know?  The tournament is only for teams of four, three of you 
will have to sit out."

  "Will we still get free lodging?" asked Damien.

  "Of course.  However, you will not be able to watch fights that do not involve 
your friends.  It's a rule to keep strategies secret," the girl explained.  
"Now, who will be competing?"

  "I'm out!" exclaimed Damien, "I'm just a mascot!"

  "I'm out too!" exclaimed Steve, "I don't think I'd be much help anyway."

  "I'm out!" exclaimed Ardweden, "I don't want to fight."

  "Wait!" exclaimed Scott, "I wanted to sit out!  I am NOT transforming in front 
of an arena full of people!"

  Dan looked at Kate.

  Kate looked at Illyria.

  Illyria brooded.

  Steve looked at Scott.

  And much happened.  Eventually, the party decided to let Scott sit out since 
she'd been through a lot of stress lately with getting engaged and it was a nice 
thing to do.  Also because the current author needed Scott to sit out in order 
to make his plans run smoothly.

  "Very well, I'll take you to your lodgings," the young girl told them as she 
stood up.

  The party followed the girl through yet *another* series of winding pathways 
and side streets until they reached a fairly large hotel.

(^_-)

  And here's the part where we skip ahead to the day of the fighting tournament.  
After all, nothing REALLY happened.  No really.  Nothing happened of note.  
Really.  Stop looking at me like that, nothing happened.  Okay, fine.  Kate 
played Quadruple Bypass with the hotel owner and won 15 different cards and Ard 
was upset because she had to fight.  Also, time compressed, Meteor was summoned, 
and... oh wait, wrong script.  Heh, never mind...

(O_O)

  The day of the fighting tournament.

  "Now I remember!" exclaimed Kate.  "Star Ocean 2 is the game where the main 
character needs to win a fighting tournament to see the king!"  

  "That's nice Kate," replied Steve from his lounging position on a chair.

  "Although," mused Kate, "if I recall correctly, the last opponent is 
impossible to beat."

  Ominous foreshadowing engulfed the room.

  "Don't DO that!" exclaimed Dan and Ardweden since they had to fight and 
Illyria didn't really care.

  "Oops," said Kate blushing, "sorry..."

  "Geez," muttered Scott, "I was just getting used to having my own bed.  Do we 
have to go?"

  "If you want to find the seals and be a guy again," Steve told her.

  "Good point!" exclaimed Scott hoping out of her bed, "Where's that guy that's 
supposed to take us to the arena?"

  A few minutes later, an official entered, and motioned for the party to come 
with him.  He let them through another long and different series of streets and 
side paths than they had gone through to get to the hotel to finally arrive at 
the arena.  

  "What a huge town," remarked Damien.  "I wonder if we'll be able to find our 
way back out."

(-_-)

  At the battle arena.

  The official led the party into a large room with multiple doors.  "Those of 
you who are not competing in the event, please go through the far left door to 
the observation post.  There should be someone there to help you to your seats."

  Scott, Steve and Damien went through the far left door while the man led the 
rest of the improadventurers through one of the middle doors into some sort of 
training facility.

  "You will return here between battles and stay here until you are called to 
you next match.  Feel free to rest up in here as well.  You'll need your 
strength for each battle.  Are you familiar with the rules of the tournament?"

  The group collectively shook their heads.

  "Okay, I'll explain them then.  The rules are as follows:
  1. The tournament has only single elimination matches.  Elimination occurs 
     when all the members of one party are become unable to battle. 
  2. You may not revive fallen party members.
  3. You may not use any items in battle other than those provided in this room 
     and each fighter may only take one of them with him into battle.
  4. Weapons of any kind are allowed.
  5. The winners of the tournament will be the team that successfully eliminates 
     all of their challengers."

  The man then walked out the door he came in and locked them in.

  "So who do you suppose our first match will be against?" asked Ardweden.

  "I'm not sure," replied Dan, "I'm just glad they have a recharge station in 
there."  Dan motioned to a previously unnoticed and conveniently placed recharge 
station.  

  "I'm not too worried about our first battle," said Kate, cleaning her glasses 
(for some reason failing to notice that she had not been wearing glasses up to 
this point), "The first battle in these types of RPG tournaments is usually 
pretty easy."

  "That's good to know," muttered Dan as an official entered through the path to 
the arena and motioned the heroes to follow him to the first battle.

(^_@)

  Battle 1: Elimination round.

  As the heroes entered the arena they were greeted by thousands of screaming 
fans as a voice boomed over the crowd: "And now.  Our first match of the 
tournament.  The Destined Heroes Vs the Cypress Force!!!"

  "Since when did we get a team name?" Ard asked herself as the enemy party 
stepped into view.

  The other team consisted of an orange haired swordsman wearing a blue cape, a 
pink haired girl who seemed to be a mage, a centaur carrying a spear and an 
archer dressed in green.  However, they were all superdeformed for some reason.

  Somewhere a bell rang.

  "We've defeated the hordes of Runefaust and the evil Iom!" exclaimed the 
leader, powerposing, "You cannot hope to defeat us!  Will you surrender now or 
will we have to demonstrate our unimaginable power?"

  "Nah, I'd rather not surrender," replied Dan while firing a small blaster at 
the leader.  
  
  As the blast approached the swordsman, he abruptly became normal sized and was 
hit by the blast.  The number 1000 appeared over his head and he returned to his 
superdeformed state before spinning around and exploding.

  The Cypress Force [stared] at Dan.  Finally the mage spoke up.  "What the heck 
was that?!"  she shouted waving her hands frantically, "How can you have that 
much range AND do that much damage?!?  Even Iom doesn't do that much damage!!!"

  "Can I help it he had less than 1000 HP?" replied Dan calmly, "He should have 
leveled up more before he decided to enter the tournament."

  "HE WAS LEVEL 50!!!" the mage exploded, "AND HE ONLY HAD [37] HIT POINTS!!!  
HOW THE HECK DID YOU GET SO POWERFUL?!?"

  "I think they're on the Shining Force engine," whispered Kate.  "Those guys 
usually have less than 100 HP for the entire game.  As a matter of fact, I think 
only the bosses ever have that much HP..."

  "I love being on the Final Fantasy engine," grinned Dan as he and Illyria 
proceeded to finish off the rest of the Cypress Force in three attacks.

(&_&)

  "Well, THAT was overkill," remarked Scott from the observation booth.

  "Do they have any popcorn?" Steve asked.

\(^_^)/

  "Wow!  That was so easy!" remarked Ardweden, "Maybe I won't have to fight 
after all!"

  "I doubt that," remarked Dan, "They can't stay that easy forever if this world 
is really like an RPG."

  "Drat.  Well in that case, I'm taking a potion into the next battle."

  Well, that conversation is dying, so we'll just skip to the next battle, okay?

(^^)

  Battle 2: Quarter Finals

  The next group of fighters to appear to face the heroes consisted of a young 
woman with a sword, a blue haired man, also equipped with a sword, an older, 
blue haired man who appeared to be royalty of some sort and another brown haired 
young woman carrying what appeared to be bladed boomerangs.

  "I am Alis," the first one announced raising her sword, "The first slayer of 
Dark Force."

  "I am Rolf," the younger man declared.  "I defeated Dark Force as well."

  "I am Rhys," the older man said, "and my bride has been kidnapped, I am only 
here so I can ask the king for help."

  "I'm Alys," said the boomerang woman, some how managing to pronounce her name 
so that it was clear that it was spelled differently than the first woman's.  
"My student Chaz has also defeated Dark Force."

  "And together we are the Phantasy Stars!"

  "Fantasy Stars?" questioned Dan.

  "No, the Phantasy Stars," Rolf corrected, also managing to pronounce the name 
so that Dan would be clear on the spelling.

  "The Phantasy Star system had pretty low HP values too," Kate mentioned, 
"Although not as low as Shining Force.  They had some pretty good team up moves 
though..."

  "You got that right!" exclaimed Alys as she and Alis casted two spells 
simultaneously causing a tornado of fire to engulf the protagonists.

  Kate, being a ninja, was able to teleport out of the way before the spell hit.  
The others however, were not so lucky.

  "Ow!  Ow!  Hot!  Hot!" exclaimed Ardweden hopping around and trying to put out 
the fire on her clothes.

  "..!" Illyria '...'ed as he proceeded to put out his own clothes.

  "Ha!  Ha!" chuckled Dan as he casually stepped through the flames, unharmed 
due to the protection granted to him by his suit.  "You like fire?  Face *my* 
flames!"  With that, he proceeded to use his flame-thrower to deal 300 damage to 
each member of the opposing party.  

  Alys and Alis were KOed by the attack.  Rolf was finished off by a quick sword 
slash from Illyria and Rhys was mowed down by a shirinkan barrage from Kate.

(%_%)

  "Well," remarked Scott, "That seemed a little tougher, but they were still 
wusses compared to most of the enemies we've fought.  I- Hey!  Where'd you get 
that?"

  Steve looked up from his popcorn at the giant foam finger on his hand that 
read 'Destined Heroes are #1'.  "The guy that came in here a few minutes ago was 
selling them," he replied, "I thought it looked cool."

  "Not that!  I meant the popcorn!"

  "Oh, that.  There's a concession stand downstairs.  I found it dur-"

  And Scott's magical girl tendencies took over and she dashed out of the room 
for some candy.

(*_*)

  "Whew," sighed Ardweden, "I wasn't ready for that kind of group attack.  We'd 
better be ready for the next round."

  "Well, there are only two fights left," remarked Dan, "How hard could they 
possibly be?"

  "..."

  "Sorry, I don't know why I said that."

(^_~)

  Battle 3: Semifinals

  "Hi there, I'm Aeris and-"

  *SLASH*

  "Ah!  Aeris!  Not again!!!  OMNISLASH!"

  SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH SLASH

  "Ah!  Dan!"

  The next battle was against a team of characters from Final Fantasy.  However, 
since the author really isn't familiar with any game past number seven, we're 
going to skip ahead again.  Sorry for any inconvenience...

(~_~)

  "They were tough," remarked Kate as the party recovered in the waiting room.

  "You're telling me!" exclaimed Dan stepping out of the recharge chamber, "I 
got KOed in the first 30 seconds."

  Ardweden spoke up, "Hey, if the battles are supposed to be getting 
increasingly tougher, then who could we possibly fight that would be on a better 
system than Final Fantasy characters?"

  "Not sure," replied Kate, "Lemme think...  Well, we could just fight a boss 
type character from the Final Fantasy series like Raijin.  They usually have 
above 9999 HP even though they deal less damage."

(`_`)

  Meanwhile, somewhere far away:

  "Achoo!  Ya know?"

  "GESUNDHEIT."

([0]_[0])

  Final Battle

  "And now," the announcer announced, "The Final Battle!  I present the first 
team: THE DESTINED HEROES!"  The party entered the arena once again to the 
sounds of thousands of cheering people.

  "Wow," remarked Ard, "We're really popular."

  "And the second team," continued the announcer, "THE EN PE SEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"

  The crowd cheered even louder.
 
  "En Pe Sees?" questioned Ard.

  "NPC," said Kate, "You know, non-player characters."

  "Hey," said Dan, "Isn't that-"

  "OOSHA!" exclaimed SaikyoKun rising from a roll into the arena shaking his 
forearm, "We are the NPCs, the MIGHTIEST team in the- Oh hey Dan." SaikyoKun 
waved to the heroes.

  "You guys!" exclaimed another voice.

  "Demota?" asked Kate, "I thought you worked for NeoVid."

  "I don't!" yelled the scientist, "He just said I did to get you guys to hand 
me over.  I can't believe you did that!  He tied me up and threw me in a ditch!"

  "Hey you guys!" came third voice, "What are you doing here?"

  "Wai!  I'm a mage!  Isn't that cool?"

  "RDMgryphon and Triskele?"

  The shorter of the two was a superdeformed swordsman wearing blue on white 
platemail carrying a sword in his left hand and a large shield in his right.  He 
looked very much akin to the Cypress Force that the party had defeated earlier.  
The one difference was that he was surrounded by small winged imps that flew 
around him just out of reach of his sword.  The other person was by all respects 
a mage.  She carried a long staff with an orb affixed to the top and her 
clothing seemed to glow slightly, resonating with magical power.

  "What are those things?" asked Kate, pointing at the imps.

  "Sory," replied RDM, "Thoos are my hord typo deamons."

  "What are you guys doing here?" asked Ardweden.

  "We're just here to collect the cash prize," said Demota, "I need money to 
continue building my inventions."

  "Hey!" interrupted SaikyoKun, "I'm here for the trophy.  So I can prove how 
MIGHTY Saikyo Style is."

  "I'm just here for the food at the banquet with the king," said Triskele.

  "Me too," said RDMgryphon trying to avoid talking much lest his typo demons 
surface.

  "Start fighting already!" shouted Scott from the observation post.

  "You heard Scott," said Dan, "Let's go!  VICTOLY!"

  Dan quickly transformed and flew at SaikyoKun while RDMgryphon attacked Kate 
and Illyria went after Triskele.  Ardweden was left to fight Demota.

L(^o^)-Ooshaga!

  Dan flew up to SaikyoKun, pulling back quickly when the light from Saikyo's 
transformation blinded him.  After it was finished and Dan could see again, he 
landed and began circling SaikyoKun waiting for a move.

  He didn't have to wait long.

  "OOSHA!"

  "Oh yeah," retorted Dan, "Doushita?!  Doushita?!"

  "Rakushou!"

  "Yahooi!"

  "Orette saikyo!"

  "Yayutchi!"

  The battle was ON!

(O_O)

  Meanwhile, Kate was having a hard time landing any attacks on RDMgryphon.  Her 
shuriken had proved useless from the beginning, bouncing harmlessly off of his 
armor or shield.  He also kept too close to her for her to use her ninja magic 
and the fact that he suddenly became non-superdeformed whenever he attacked or 
defended was throwing her off.  The typo demons would attack her as well and 
forced her to use all of her ninja agility to avoid being hit.

  Although, something was still nagging her.  Some RPG battle system she was 
forgetting...

  Not that thoose typpo daamens were halping much...

(o_o)

  "..." Illyria notsaid as he charged Triskele.

  "Quake!" exclaimed Tris holding up her staff and causing a small earthquake 
which forced Illyria to stop his assault.

  "..." he tried again, throwing a rose a her.

  "Fire Wall!"  A barrier of flames rose up in front of the mage and quickly 
incinerated the small sweet smelling flower.

  "..." said Illyria in frustration.

  "Lightning Bolt!"

  Illyria looked down at his long metal lightening rod of a sword and suddenly 
regretted not buying rubber boots back in Generica.

(_-_)

  "Yatta ze..."

  "OYAJI!!!!!!"

  "Korezo... saikyo-ryu!"

  "Oraoraoraoraora!"

($_$)

  Demota pulled out a remote control and pressed the button, giggling in a 
disturbing manner as he did so.  Suddenly, from the distance something appeared.  
Something large an bulky.   The large something flew out over the arena and came 
to a halt, using it's booster rockets to come to a landing in front of Ard. 
Sunlight glinted off it's surface, making a 'ching' sound.
  
  "It's a vending machine," Ardweden deadpanned.

  "YES!  Behold:  VENDAM WING!!"

  Ard sweatdropped.

  "VENDAM SWORD!" shouted Demota, pressing a button that caused a sword to 
spring forth from the opening, which was easily dodged by Ardweden because 1. It 
was pretty darn slow and 2. Demota was wearing glasses that he didn't really 
need and could hardly see where she was.

  "Judo Kick!" she announced and kicked at the large vending machine.

  *CLANG*

  "Owowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowow!" wailed Ard hopping up and down on one 
foot while holding the other.  "I forgot how much it hurts to hit metal 
objects!"

  "GO VENDAM!" Demota cheered.

(=_=)

  "REGROUP!" shouted Kate, teleporting away from RDMgryphon.

  The teams regrouped on opposite sides of the arena.  The NPCs still looked 
fairly fresh and ready to fight.  The heroes however...

  Kate had many small cuts on her costume and Illyria's trenchcoat was smoking.  
His long bishonen hair was also frizzled up like an afro due to some remaining 
electricity from the lightning bolt.  Ardweden, while mostly unharmed was 
exhausted from dodging Demota and was breathing heavily.  Dan looked like he had 
been hit by a truck and was currently slumped over, knees shaking.

  "Oh my gosh Dan!" exclaimed Kate, "What happened to you?  You look like you've 
been hit with some powerful special attack.  What happened?  Are you hurt?"

  "I'm fine," replied Dan hollowly, "SaikyoKun out taunted me though and I'm out 
of spirit energy."

  "DAN!" yelled Ardweden, "Get over it!  Saikyo's got TAUNTING powers!"

  "But, but-" Dan complained.

  "Get over it!  We're gonna lose if we don't find a strategy!  Any ideas?"

  "Yes," replied Illyria, "We should switch opponents."

  For lack of a better idea, the party decided to give it a shot.  So when the 
NPCs made their next charge, each improfighter attacked a different member than 
the one they had fought previously.

(^-^)

  Ard squared off against SaikyoKun.

  And pulled out her lute.

  "Oosha!" taunted SaikyoKun shaking a forearm.

  *WHAP*  Ard hit Saikyo on the head.

  "Ow!  Doushita?!  Doushita?!"

  *WHAP*

  "Ow!  Rakushou!"

  *WHAP*

(*_*)

  Micro-missile launchers appeared out of Dan's shoulder plates.

  "Oh, you want to fight with guns then?" said Demota swelling with confidence 
as he pressed a button.  "Very well then... Vendam guns ACTIVATE!"

  A lot of nothing happened.

  "I said: VENDAM GUNS ACTIVATE!" he pressed the button again.

  More nothing occurred.

  "What the?" said Demota in confusion pressing buttons the control pad. "Where 
the heck did my guns go?"  Eventually a small message popped up on the display: 
"No Long Range Weapons Installed."

  Demota suddenly became very pale.

  "I knew I forgot something," he muttered dejectedly as hundreds of mini-
missiles came streaming towards the Vendam Wing.

  Dan smiled.

(^~^)

  RDMgryphon was having his own problems fighting Illyria.  Even though he was 
able to block a majority of the bishonen's attacks with his shield, he couldn't 
find any opening in Illyria's relentless attacking.  All of his typo demons had 
flown away in terror after the first couple attacks and the long sword that 
Illyria was using prevented him from even getting within range for a counter 
attack.  

  Oh yeah, he was in trouble.

(^______________^)

  "Namen ja ne zo!"

  *WHAP*

  "Yahooi!"

  *WHAP*

  "Korezo... saikyo-ryu!"

  *WHAP*

(*_*)

  "Lightning Bolt!"

  Kate quickly teleported out of the way of another of Triskele's attacks.  The 
mage was having little luck hitting the speedy ninja and was beginning to run 
out of options when Kate launched a hail of shuriken at her.

  "Eek!  Fire Wall!"

  Now, it is a fairly well known fact that metal does not burn like flowers.  It 
has to do much with the chemical composition of the two objects.  Although, 
metal can melt, it has a very high heat of fusion and an even higher heat of 
vaporization and it is very unlikely that spending a few seconds in a wall of 
fire will do much except make it a bit warmer when it comes out.  In the case 
of shuriken, all that's really going to happen is that you're going to be left 
with a bunch of HOT, pointy, spinning metal objects flying at you.

  "Yipe!" exclaimed Tris as three shuriken buried themselves in her staff and a 
forth tore off part of her sleeve.  Looking at the current uselessness of her 
spells, she decided to take the logical course of action and run.

(#_#)

  "Bolt!" exclaimed RDMgryphon casting a spell to put some room between himself 
and Illyria.  "REGROUP!" 

  Demota managed to get off a last resort attack of launching the boxing glove 
attachment at Dan to get him to stop attacking long enough to get Vendam out of 
the way.  The flying fist bounced of the side of the arena, flew up to the 
observation booth, crashed through the glass, and hit Steve on the head.  Steve 
said "Ow."

  Triskele was lucky enough to connect with a psychic force attack that knocked 
Kate back long enough for her to join the rest of the her party on one side of 
the arena.  

  "1000 Autographs!" declared SaikyoKun throwing 1000 autographed pictures of 
Dan Hibiki at Ardweden.  However, despite the fact that Ard was hit with all 
1000 of them, she only suffered 3 damage.  It gave SaikyoKun enough time to roll 
away though.

  Now it was the NPCs' turn to check over their injuries.  RDMgryphon had many 
holes in his shield and multiple sword scratches and dents in his armor.  His 
typo demons had also flown away in abject horror and were probably not coming 
back.  Demota's Vendam Wing had multiple burn marks where Dan's weapons had 
found their mark and was a bit warped in some places too.  Triskele had about 30 
shurikens embedded in her staff and parts of her clothes were also torn.  
SaikyoKun had a really bad headache.

  "I think we're gonna have to concentrate on one at a time," suggested RDM.

  "Good idea," confirmed Demota, "I think Dan is the strongest, he's taken the 
least damage so far, we should take him out."

  "Agreed," said SaikyoKun.

  Having come up with a plan, the NPCs rushed Dan.  Triskele casted a few spells 
to keep the others away from Dan as Saikyo, RDM and Demota started their 
attack.

  Dan seeing the inevitable, activated the shield plates in his arm to block 
with.  He blocked the three kicks from SaikyoKun's Danku Kyaku and then lowered 
his guard to counter attack.

  Unfortunately for him, he was caught unaware as SaikyoKun managed to perform a 
Koryuken on the same turn and launch him into the air where he was caught by a 
leaping strike by RDMgryphon followed by a hit from Vendam's laser sword as he 
landed.  Inconceivably, SaikyoKun managed to hit him with a Gadoken as he 
bounced up from the floor and Demota's Vendam landed another strike right after.  
RDMgryphon also hit him with a shield charge and a shining strike as he was 
getting up.

  "That was all ONE turn?!" exclaimed Kate incredulously.  "That's impossible!"

  But it wasn't over yet.  

  As Dan stood there panting having lost most of his HP from the assault, 
everything turned dark and everyone disappeared except for him and SaikyoKun who 
began to glow with a pink aura.

  "Mugen no kensen..." she intoned as the aura flared.  Dan tried to put up his 
arms to block, but found his entire body frozen by some kind of invisible force.  
"Chohatsu-do..."  Saikyo rolled up to Dan and taunted.  Then faded away and 
rolled up from another direction and taunted.  And then faded away again and 
rolled up from somewhere else and taunted.  This repeated about 15 times until 
Saikyo appeared right in front of Dan and performed a jumping taunt.  "SAIKYO-
JIN!" she exclaimed as shadows trailed her.  As Saikyo landed, everything 
reappeared.

  "You know," remarked Demota, "that's got to be the 20th time I've seen that 
move and I'm still not used to it." 

  "Me too," said RDMgryphon nodding.

  "Me three," Triskele joined in.

  Kate was shocked.

  "Was that a... F-FINISHING STRIKE?" she asked them, eyes wide.

  "Of course," replied Saikyo, "What did you think it was?"

  Before Kate could reply, an aura of light erupted from Dan.  "Hey," he said, 
looking at the aura, "I think I got a limit break!  All right!  Now I'll get 
them!"

  "Wait Dan!" exclaimed Kate waving her arms.

  But Dan had already begun his attack.  He flew 40 feet into the air and 
activated every single weapon he had.  The text box "Raging Dan" appeared in 
mid-air as Dan proceeded to empty all of his guns on the NPCs causing all of 
them to suffer 5000 damage multiple times.  When it was all over, RDMgryphon 
was looking very worse for wear and the Vendam Wing had lost so much of its 
armor that it could hardly be called robot anymore.  SaikyoKun and Triskele were 
KOed.

  At least they were until they flashed green and stood back up.  Exhausted, but 
still conscious.

  "What?!" shouted Ardweden.  "That's not fair!  Fallen party members can't be 
revived!  It's in the rules!"

  "They didn't revive," explained RDMgryphon, "They just used their guts ability 
to recover a few Hit Points as they were being KOed.  It's perfectly legal to 
use abilities."

  "But, but HOW did you take so much damage?!?" yelled Ardweden, "You must have 
taken 50000 damage from Dan's attack!"

  "I have 76424 hit points," said RDM.  "I've still got over 7000 left."

  "Vendam has 69342," Demota told them.  "Sai and Tris-chan have less than 
50000.  That's why they learned 'guts' as soon as they could."

  "But HOW?"

  "We're on the Valkyrie Profile engine, of course," said SaikyoKun 
nonchalantly.

  "What?"

  "Valkyrie Profile," explained Kate numbly, "1000 HP per level, finishing 
strikes that do over 10000 damage by level 35, abilities that allow a character 
to recover from KO."

  "I hate being on the Final Fantasy system," muttered Dan as the NPCs comboed 
off of SaikyoKun's Finishing Strike.

  "CESLESTIAL WAI!"

  Triskele's finishing strike caused many cute objects to begin raining from the 
sky.  Although they were cute, they still did over 4000 damage apiece when they 
exploded upon hitting the ground.

  "SHINING FORCE BLAST!"

  RDMgryphon swung his sword in a wide arc, producing a small ball of energy.  
He then swung at it two more times, each time causing the energy ball to get 
bigger.  Finally, he struck it with his shield causing it to release a gigantic 
beam of energy at the heroes causing over 40000 damage to each member of the 
party.

  "LUCKY SEVENS!"

  The top half of the Vendam Wing opened up and a handle popped out of the side.  
Meanwhile, a bunch of other parts shifted until Vendam had transformed into a 
huge slot machine.  Demota leapt up and pulled the lever, getting three 7's on 
the display which caused many coins to fly at the party causing over 6000 damage 
multiple times.

 Needless to say, the Destined Heroes were totally screwed.

(+_+)

  "Wah!" cried Kate sitting bolt upright.

  "Oh you're awake," remarked Illyria sitting by her side.  They were in the 
waiting room of the battle arena.  Everyone else had already awakened and Scott, 
Steve and Damien had come down from the observation post.

  "Wow, they really did a number on you guys," remarked Steve, "I'm pretty 
thankful that I didn't fight.  Although I did somehow manage to be hit by 
Vendam's fist before you guys were defeated."

  "You slept through the awards ceremony," said Scott, munching on some candy. 
"The NPCs got the trophy, the money and a special ticket so that the people at 
the castle will let them into the banquet to see the king."

  "I guess we're back to where we started," said Ard.

  "Yeah, I guess," said Scott dejectedly.  Her face suddenly brightened.  
"Unless..."

(^_^)

  "Oosha!" oosha'ed SaikyoKun (now detransformed) as he and the rest of the NPCs 
walked down an alley as the sun was setting, "That was the best!  Now we can go 
to the banquet."  He placed the pass to the king inside of his vest and shifted 
the large trophy to his other hand.

  "I'm gonna eat one of those giant sandwiches," said Demota, "and then I'm 
gonna go and build something with the prize money."  Demota cackled in a mad 
scientist like way.

  "Wai!  A giant sandwich!" Triskele exclaimed happily.

  "I think I'm gonna get a new shield with my share of the money," said 
RDMgryphon.  "And that giant sandwich doesn't sound bad!"

  "Pst... hey," came a voice from the shadows.

  "Huh?  Is that you Kate?" asked RDMgryphon looking in the shadows.  

  "..."

  "Hey, is that a rope?"

(@_@)

  "Yay!  Now we can see the king!" exclaimed Scott happily, holding up the pass 
to see the king in her hands.  "We can finally get on with the stupid quest!"

  "Does anyone know where the castle is?" asked Damien looking around.

  The rest of the improadventurers looked around at the winding streets and side 
alleys and at the large buildings that obscured the view of the sky.  

  "Uh oh," said Steve.

(^O^)_| - Oosha!

  "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" yelled SaikyoKun to anyone that could hear him.  He and 
the rest of the NPCs were currently tied together, and strung off the balcony of 
one of the buildings.  

  "I can't believe they did that to us!" exclaimed Triskele, "What sore losers."

  "*I* can't believe I've been tied up again," remarked Demota, "That makes two 
times in the entire fic..."

  "I can't reach my sword," said RDMgryphon, "I think we're gonna be here a while..."

  "..."
  
  "Wanna hear a Final Fantasy joke?  Okay, so Squall, Cloud and Zidane are in a 
bar and..."

  "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!"

(@_@)

Author's Notes:

  Wow.  Once again, I had a lot of fun writing this part.  I actually thought it 
was going to be shorter when I started, but I guess not.  The whole story came 
from the fighting tournament in Star Ocean 2, too much Ultra, and too much 
Valkyrie Profile.  

  I'd like to thank everyone that contributed to my part:
  Demota, Triskele and RDMgryphon for letting me use them.
 
  Demota, for helping me with the Vendam scene.
 
  Devast8or, Sharyna, and one of my friends who will remain nameless for 
prereading my part and catching a whole bunch of grammar and spelling stuff.

  The people at #improfanfic, who helped with the spelling of "GESUNDHEIT"...

http://saikyo.gamespage.com 
"Now you know who's really got the skills!" -- Dan Hibiki Street Fighter Alpha 3