(The curtain rises to reveal the classroom set once again.  SD-Kate stands in 
front of a blackboard, while the other five party members - also SD - are seated 
in a row of chairs, their backs to the camera.)

SD-Kate: (waves) Hiii, everybody!  It's time for another recap segment.  And no, 
it's not an attempt by the Author to make her chapter seem longer. (blinks in 
confusion)

The rest of the cast (except Illyria): Huh?

SD-Kate: (shrugs) Hey, I'm just reading what's on the cue cards.

(The camera pans back to show SD-Damien attempting to hold a stack of cue cards, 
which is rather difficult for him, considering his wings.)

SD-Kate: Anyway... we're making really good progress on our quest!  We've 
already got four Seals, and we know the location of two more!

SD-Dan: (muttering) Mine's with Xelloss...

SD-Kate: We'll get to that in a moment, Dan.  We have to do this in the proper 
order!  The first seal we found was Steve's, the Pocky Seal.

(SD-Steve holds up the empty box of pocky, then forlornly shakes it.)

SD-Kate: ^^;  We had to give the pocky to Dan, because he needed an energy 
source.  Moving right along... the next Seal was mine!  We got it from De 
Gemmel! (holds out the paperweight)

SD-Dan: (interrupting) The *next* Seal we found belongs to me.  Demota was using 
it to power the Mechona.  But Xelloss took it, so I haven't managed to get my 
powerup yet. (sulks)

SD-Ardweden: But I thought your SUV form was a powerup?

SD-Dan: Nope, that's just an added perk of the job!

SD-Scott: ...right.

SD-Ard: I think I'm the only member of the party who's managed *not* to turn 
into something else.

(SD-Steve looks down at herself and grumbles.)

SD-Kate: Anyhow, as I was saying... the next Seal we found was the Bishounen 
Seal, which belongs to Illyria.  But Todd, the Goddess of Destruction, showed up 
to chase away Xelloss, and claimed it. (pauses)  Him?  It?  Well, anyway... 
we'll get back to that later.  Seal Number Five seems to be the one that doesn't 
belong to anyone.

(SD-Dan holds up the Nintendo Seal of Quality.)

SD-Kate: You know, because there are six of us and seven Seals... although since 
we have Damien, there's seven of us now... but he wasn't with us when we first 
arrived, so... well, I'm sure it will all work out in the end! ^_^  Finally, the 
sixth seal was found in the kingdom of Generica, and- (she starts snickering)

SD-Scott: (glares) You realize that I *still* haven't been to get this stupid 
necklace off.

SD-Kate: ^_^  But it looks so pretty on you!

SD-Ard: (hastily interrupts) By process of elimination, the last Seal must be 
mine.  But we don't have any idea where it is yet.  I think we'll find it sooner 
or later, though.

SD-Kate: So things are coming along pretty smoothly, except... (she looks 
around, then drops to a whisper) There's a traitor among us.

SD-Dan: It's not me!

SD-Steve: Not me either!

SD-Damien: Definitely not me!

SD-Illyria: ...

SD-Scott: Sure, you say that now, but... I'll bet that's just to lull us into a 
false sense of security before whoever the traitor is strikes!

SD-Kate: Xelloss bugged our airship, but we're not sure exactly *how* the 
microphone got there... (she gives everyone else a suspicious look)

SD-Steve: (sighing) Just drop it for a moment, will you?  We need to finish this 
recap so we can get on with things.

SD-Kate: All right.  Since the traitor knows this already... we're about to 
visit the Goddess of Destruction and ask for the Bishounen Seal.  So without 
further ado, let's head for the Isle of Bishounen!

(The lights go out, the curtain falls, and the title card is shown...)

^_~

Otaku Wish Fulfillment Theatre
Started by Scott Schimmel

Chapter 29:  Defenestration or Not Defenestration... That, and the Hunt for 
Bishounen Begins!
By Kate Malloy

^_~

The Isle of Bishounen was a lovely place, filled with grassy meadows, lush 
forests, and beautiful beaches.  Herds of bishounen ran free, either frolicking 
or brooding, depending on their nature.

"Oooh!  That one looks like Irvine!" Kate exclaimed, pointing at a nearby 
bishounen.

Illyria clamped a hand on the shoulder of the excited fangirl to keep her from 
running off.

"So where are we heading?" Ardweden asked.

"It may be just a hunch, but I'd say that huge temple in the center of the 
island."  Scott pointed to where a colossal marble temple rose above the trees.

"Are you sure we can't stop at a store first?" Steve inquired.

"It'd probably be a bad idea for you to emulate Illyria here," Ard explained.  
"You might get mistaken for one of the natives, and then what would happen to 
you?"

The hopefully temporary girl shuddered.  "You're right."

"Onward!" Kate exclaimed, pointing to the temple.

"I'm the leader," Dan muttered, "yet she always beats me to that."

Damien attempted to pat him comfortingly on the back.  "It's okay.  Let's just 
get going."

^_~

Luckily for the Destined Heroes, the path to the temple was a fairly 
straightforward trail through a small forest and several meadows.  It took a bit 
longer than it should have to travel since Kate kept stopping to admire the... 
scenery.

Finally, they reached the base of the temple.

"...it's very high up." Ard remarked.

"Yes, that's a lot of steps," Steve commented.

The Temple of the Goddess of Destruction towered above their heads.  *Way* above 
their heads.  A set of marble steps that looked like they could take at least 
half a day to climb led from where the party was standing to the temple proper.

"Why can't these people ever build anything at ground level?" Dan grumbled.

"I'd fly up, except I'm afraid they'd torch me again," Damien stated.

Just then, a bishounen walked up to them.  "I'm Seiya," he introduced himself.  
"Are you here to see the Goddess?"

Kate nodded enthusiastically.  "Yes!"

"Ahh, wonderful.  And I see you've already brought the offering, too."

"Offering?" Scott asked.

"I think he means Illyria," Ard said quietly.  Illyria started to draw his 
sword, but Ardweden elbowed him in the ribs.  "Just play along for now."

"Haven't we been through this before?" wondered Dan.

Seiya tapped a headset.  "I'll radio up and let the Most Favored of the Goddess 
know that you'll be arriving."

Steve raised a hand.  "Um... do you happen to have an elevator or an escalator 
or something like that?"

"No, I'm afraid we don't."  Seiya flashed a brilliant smile that made Kate 
swoon, but had absolutely no effect on Steve.

"How about a store?" Steve continued.

"There's a gift shop inside the temple, if that's what you're looking for."  He 
smiled again.

Kate sighed happily.  "How much of a hurry are we to get there?" she asked.

Illyria grabbed her by the shoulder again and began to haul her bodily up the 
stairs.  The rest of the party exchanged glances, shrugged, and followed.

^_~

Quite a while later, the group reached the top of the stairs.

"Five hundred eight... five hundred nine... five hundred ten!" Scott finished 
counting as she wearily climbed onto the top landing.

Kate tripped and nearly sprawled flat on her face.  Scott snickered softly.  
Kate glared at her.  "Hey, it's not like I've done anything really klutzy 
recently!  And besides, you're one to talk, being as you're the magical girl and 
all."

Damien fluttered down next to them.  "My wings are really tired."

"I thought you said you weren't going to fly?" Ardweden asked.

"Well, at around step two hundred and sixty four, my legs started to ache, so I 
switched to flying.  Besides, I don't think they have flamethrowers here after 
all."

Dan looked around.  "So where's this 'Most Favored of the Goddess?'"

"Oh, hi, you guys," a familiar voice said as a figure emerged from the temple.

"Mechalink?" Ard said, surprised.  "You're the Most Favored of the Goddess?"

Mechalink nodded.  "Yep.  We've been expecting you..." His voice trailed off as 
he got a good look at the group.  "Steve?  Is that you?"

"...yes." Steve muttered.

"What happened?  I knew about Scott, but..."

"...it's a long and complicated story," she said, blushing furiously.

"All right.  Anyhow, like I said, we've been expecting you."

"We?" Dan asked.

"Todd and I."

"You don't have to use any sort of title or anything like that?" Scott inquired.

"Nope.  One of the benefits of being Most Favored."  Mechalink crossed his arms.  
"Ready to face the Goddess of Destruction?"

"But Todd's our friend, right?" Kate said.  "What would we have to be afraid 
of?"

"Nothing, really, but don't you have any sense of proper dramatics?"  Mechalink 
sighed.  "Let's go."

The party followed him inside the temple.

"Wow..." Ardweden remarked, looking at her surroundings.  "This place is really 
impressive."

The Temple of the Goddess of Destruction had high ceilings, beautiful fountains, 
sparkling chandeliers, and floors so shiny that one could see his or her 
reflection in them.  (Ardweden and Kate definitely approved of the last.)

The halls were filled with even more bishounen, too numerous to count.  Some of 
them regarded the visitors with curiosity; others seemed to take no notice of 
them.  In fact, several bishounen were too busy staring at their own reflections 
in the shiny floor to acknowledge anything besides their looks.

Finally, Mechalink brought them to an immense set of carved oak doors.  "Wait 
here," he said, before pushing one of the doors open and walking into the inner 
sanctum.

A few minutes later, he poked his head back out.  "The Goddess will see you 
now."

Somewhat hesitantly, the party entered.  They weren't entirely sure what to 
expect at this point.

What they found was a huge dais, upon which stood a large divan, upon which 
rested the Goddess of Destruction.  Similar to when he appeared in Ef Ephimel, 
Todd was being attended by several throngs of bishounen.

"Hiya, niichan!" Ardweden waved cheerily.

"Heya, imoutochan.  It's about time you all got here."  Todd idly waved a hand, 
dismissing all his attendants, save one.  That particular bishounen looked quite 
familiar.

Illyria's eyebrow moved almost imperceptibly.

"Yes, I know why you came.  You need the Seal," Todd continued.  "And I'll be 
more than happy to give it to you, on one condition.  If you want one of my 
bishounen, you'll have to bring me another.  An even exchange."

Wisely, none of the party members commented that Todd seemed to have plenty of 
bishounen already.

Dan nodded.  "Sure, we'll get another bishounen for you."

"Great.  In the meantime, I'll just continue to keep this one safe."  Todd 
smiled.  "Oh, and if you happen to find more than one bishounen... I might be 
inclined to give you a little extra help."

"But where would we start looking?" Steve asked.

Mechalink handed her a map.  "Here, this should help.  And try not to let Scott 
destroy this one, would you?"

Kate, Ardweden, and Damien all glared at the unfortunate magical girl.

"And when did *this* happen?" Kate inquired.

"It was a while back," Scott admitted.  "It's not worth worrying about now, 
really!"

The rest of the party tried not to think about how many times they had gotten 
lost since then.

"Good luck," Todd said.  "Go with my blessing."  He then snapped his fingers, 
calling his attendants back.

"Bye, 'niichan!  We'll see you soon!"  Ard waved.

Mechalink led the group back out of the temple.  "You might want to try this 
island here," he said, pointing to a location on the map.

The party studied it.

"Doesn't it look kind of like New York to you?" Scott asked.

Kate shrugged.  "Dunno, I've never been.  But if that's where we'll find 
bishounen, that's where we'll go!  Thanks, Merco!"

"No problem.  See you later."  Mechalink walked back inside the temple.

"Onward!" Dan cried, finally beating the overexcited ninja to the punch.

^_~

Three hundred and fifty seven steps down, Steve realized that she had forgotten 
to ask about Revitalization Potions.

^_~

Once on the airship, Dan quickly took the controls, while the rest of the party 
pored over the map.

"Let's see..." Ardweden mused.  "We've been here, here, here..."

"But there's a lot we haven't explored yet," Steve noted.  "Which could be good 
or bad, considering we have four Seals already, are working towards the fifth, 
and know the location of a fifth as well."

"But why would that be bad?" Scott asked.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten all about the false endings of some RPGs!" Kate 
exclaimed.  "You know, where it looks like you're about ready to beat the main 
bad guy, but you know it can't be right because you're on disk two of four, or 
you have half the map left to explore, or something like that."

"Or maybe we'll get all the Seals together, and then the traitor will run off 
with them, and we'll have to chase him or her all over the rest of the world!" 
Scott decided.

"Drop the traitor nonsense," Illyria said, idly resting one hand on the hilt of 
his katana.

Damien returned from looking out the window.  "I think we're almost there," he 
said.

The airship came to a sudden, screeching halt, yet none of the party even lost 
their balance.

"Yep, we're here."

However, Dan made no motion to try and land the ship.

"Dan?" Ard called.  "What's wrong?"

"Trying to find a place to land," he replied.  "Just look."

The party rushed to the windows.

"Wow... And I thought Ef Ephimel was big..." Kate remarked.  "The whole island 
looks like one big city."

Indeed, the island below them was covered in skyscrapers, highways, and other 
modern-looking structures.

"And this would be the obligatory anachronism," Scott realized.

"How are we going to find a bishounen in all that?" Steve asked.

"Well, at least we shouldn't have any trouble finding a store for you," Ardweden 
pointed out.  "And I think there's something like an airport over there, Dan.  
Try landing."

^_~

A short while later, the group disembarked from the airship and entered the 
city.

"Welcome to New Hamster Dam."  Dan read a nearby sign, which had a picture of a 
smiling tan hamster clutching an oversized sunflower seed.  "Cute."

"So where are we going to start looking?" Damien wondered.

"Maybe we could find a bar or something?" Kate suggested.  "In Final Fantasy 
Tactics, you could gain a lot of information by talking to the bartender.  And 
there's probably notices and maps and stuff in there."

"I'm not sure I want to go in a bar in this place," Scott said nervously.

"Can't we find a store first?" Steve asked.  "I really want to get back to being 
male."

"Let's try checking in there."  Ardweden pointed to a brightly-lit building 
which proclaimed itself to be "The Okay Tavern."

"Okay," Dan said, ducking a blow from Kate.

^_~

The Okay Tavern was a surprisingly pleasant-looking restaurant.  Dan led the 
group to the bar, where a familiar man with a goatee was mixing drinks.

"Jesse?" Kate asked.

"Oh, hey, you guys."  He blinked.  "Wait a second... Scott, weren't you and 
Steve *male* the last time I saw you?"

"Please don't ask," Scott said quietly.

"I'm looking for a way to fix it, actually," Steve stated.  "You wouldn't happen 
to know where I could buy some Revitalization Potions, would you?"

"I think I've got some in the back," Jesse noted.

"Fantastic!" Steve jumped up and down and clapped her hands, then groaned.  
"Please hurry.  It appears to be spreading."

"Give me a minute, and I'll get some for you."

"You wouldn't also happen to know where we could find some bishounen, would 
you?" Ard continued.

Jesse frowned.  "We don't serve their kind here."

"But what about Ill-" Kate was silenced when the hand of the bishounen in 
question covered her mouth.

"You might want to try a few blocks north, in the..."

The conversation was effectively interrupted when a figure came crashing in 
through the front window.

"I've never seen anyone get thrown *in* through a window before," Dan remarked.

"Does that still count as a defenestration?" Kate asked.

Steve shook her head.  "Don't think so.  A defenestration implies that the 
person is going out."

"Then what do you call this?" Scott wondered.  "A fenestration?  An 
enfenestration?"

"Maybe a refenestration?" Ardweden suggested.

"No, I think a person would have had to get thrown out first, then get thrown 
back in order to be a refenestration," Damien reasoned.

Illyria cleared his throat.  "Perhaps we should be more worried about why a 
person has just been thrown through a window, rather than what we should call 
it?"

The party stared at him, amazed that he had spoken such a long sentence.

"Right."  Illyria returned to brooding.  "..."

"Let's go check it out, then," Dan said.  "Steve, go help that guy out.  The 
rest of you, follow me."

^_~

Author's Notes:

Last year I wrote chapter three right after Otakon.  This year, I ended up 
writing this one right after Otakon.  Which means that this story has been going 
on for a little over a year now.  Who would have thought? ^_^

I had no prereaders for this chapter.  This seems to be somewhat of a pattern; I 
had four prereaders for my first chapter, two for my second, and one for my 
third.  If I write another chapter, I will have to have negative prereaders.  
I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to handle that. ;p

Oh, and please don't ask about the hamsters. ^_~