(Scenes show pictures of the six heroes and one mascot.)

VOICEOVER: These six people and their mascot are trying to escape from an RPG
world that they were trapped in by some unknown force.  Along the way, they have
solved many difficult puzzles and fought many hard battles.  Now the end of
their quest seems close at hand.

(The voice pauses.)

VOICEOVER: But one of them... is a traitor.

(Music starts up and cool computer generated visuals start to fly around.)

(Dan's face appears.)

VOICEOVER: Is it Dan Mastriani the self-proclaimed leader of the group?  Could
his leadership role be just an excuse to lead the team to disaster?

(Dan's picture spins off into the background and is replaced by a picture of
Scott.)

VOICEOVER: And what about Scott Schimmel?  She seems to be an innocent magical
girl, but is there something more?...

(Scott's picture is replaced by Illyria's.)

VOICEOVER: Or maybe it's Illyria the taciturn bishonen.  Could his
silence be masking an ulterior motive?

(Illyria's picture is replaced with Kate's.)

VOICEOVER: Perhaps it is the other half of Team K, Kate Malloy.  Is her
enthusiasm just a mask for her secret agenda?

(Kate's picture is replaced by Ardweden's.)

VOICEOVER: Then there's Ardweden.  She doesn't like Dan Hibiki.  That's very
suspicious in itself.  I mean, come on!  How can you NOT like Dan Hibiki?  Is
she the traitor?

(Ard's picture is replaced by Damien's.)

VOICEOVER: And let's not forget Damien.  He arrived under very suspicious
circumstances.  Not to mention that he doesn't really do anything.

(Damien's picture fades out to the CG effects.)

VOICEOVER: Anyone of these people could be the traitor.  Anyone of them could-

STEVE'S VOICE: Hey!  You forgot me!

(A picture of Steve appears.)

VOICEOVER: Oh yeah, and then there's Steven, uh... Steven... uh...

STEVE'S VOICE: It's Scougall!  Geez... I hate being the sidekick.

(Steve's picture fades out.)

VOICEOVER: Yeah, her too...  Ahem, as I was saying, anyone of them could be...
THE MOLE!  Stay tuned and try and guess who it is!

(Music reaches it's climax and then everything fades to a commercial.)

********************

Otaku Wish Fulfillment Theater
Episode 30: Ultra Pointless Encounters!... That, And Descent Into The Evil Zone!

Beginning and ending written by: B.J. "Saikyo-Kun" Gee
OWFT started by: Scott Schimmel

********************

  The party sans Steve ran outside to see who or what had thrown the person
through the window of the store.

  Not surprisingly, it was someone they had seen before.

  "I t'rew dat foo' good!" laughed Mr. E. who somehow had managed to work his
way back into the story.  "I pity da foo who try to steal my money."

  The entire party sans Steve and Illyria facefaulted at the appearance of the
bizarre parody character.

  Meanwhile inside, Steve was having a similar experience of déjà vu.

(^_^)

  "Garrett!?"

  "Huh?" asked the cloaked individual looking at Steve, "Do I know you?"

  "You stole our money back in Cidgard!"

  "Oh crap!" exclaimed Garrett looking out the window he had flown in from and
seeing the destined heroes.  Before Steve could react, the cloaked thief leapt
to his feet and out the window.  As soon as he hit the ground, he started
running but not before suspiciously bumping into Kate on the way.

  "Things just keep getting worse and worse," muttered Steve, rushing out the
door.

(^_^)

  "You guys I-" began Steve as she burst through the door, before recognizing
the person outside, "Mr. E.?"

  "Dat's me foo's!"

  "Steve!" exclaimed Ardweden, "What about that guy who got thrown through the
window?  I just saw him jump through the window and run off.  What happened in
there?"

  "That was Garrett!"

  "Who?" asked the everyone else simultaneously.

  "The thief from Cidgard who stole our money!"

  "What!" exclaimed Kate, immediately checking the party's money, "He just
robbed us again!"   "After him!" she cried, before pulling her mask on and
bounding across the roofs after the retreating figure.

  "Kate!" Dan called after her to no avail, Dan cursed under his breath and
assessed the situation.  "Okay, Ard, Scott, and Illy, you stay here and take
care of Mr. E.  I should be able to catch up with Kate using my rockets.  Steve
and Damien, you go find out what Jesse was going to say before we were
interrupted.

  For lack of a better idea, the party agreed and split up.

(-_-)

  "...!" said Illyria as he dodged a strike from Mr. E. and counter attacked
with a slash which bounced off of Mr. E.'s horrendous array of gold colored
chains.

  "Ex Wai!" shouted Ard while performing a crescent ax kick followed by a
flipping spin kick.  Mr.  E. was struck by both hits and staggered off until he
was directly in front of the window that he had thrown Garrett through earlier.

  "Masterful Shining Sparkling Sparkle Wai Blast Blaster!" Scott's attack
launched a glowing sparkly ball of sparkles that hit the stunned Mr. E. in the
stomach and launched him through the already broken window and sent him crashing
into something inside the building.

  "That takes care of that," remarked Ard while picking up some of the money
that Mr. E. had dropped.  "What have we here?" she remarked as she came across a
scroll.

  Scott examined the item that Ard had picked up, "It looks like Kate's fire
magic scroll.  Maybe we should let her look at it when we get back."

  "What the heck are you guys doing out here!?"

  The trio turned to find Steve and Damien at the entrance to the bar.  Both of
them were covered from head to toe with blue liquid.  Fortunately for Damien,
birds feathers are covered with oil so the liquid was quickly running off.
Steve unfortunately did not have feathers and the liquid had completely
saturated her clothes and hair.

  "What happened?" asked Scott.

  "Mr. E. just got refenistrated or whatever you want to call it and crashed
into the store room!  All the Revitalization Potions, not to mention everything
else in there was smashed!"

  "Oops."

(@_@)

  "Kate!" yelled Dan at the black bouncing speck in the distance as he flew over
the roof tops using his rocket boosters, "Wait up!"

  Meanwhile, Kate had managed to catch sight of the black cloaked man known as
Garrett as he weaved through the crowded streets of New Hamster Dam.  As she
leapt closer, she noticed that he was heading towards a large overpass that
would obscure her view of him if she let him get there.  Not wanting this to
happen, she decided to go after him.  With a grip on her sword, she leapt off of
the roof.

  Or at least that's what she tried to do.  The moment she started her jump she
heard Dan's cry of "Kate" and instinctively turned around to see where it was
coming from.  This caused her to slip on the tiling of the roof and fall into a
street vender's cart on the ground.  As she fell, she noticed Garrett run into a
large building with many large power generators surrounding it.

  "Oops!" said Dan, reaching Kate and helping her up, "Sorry!"

  "I'll get him...," groaned Kate feebly pointing to the building.

  "My cart!" wailed the vender ruefully.

  "Uh oh."

(-_-)

  "So, what did you find out, Steve?" asked Dan while Steve rummaged through her
chemist sack for a potion for Kate.  She, however was too preoccupied with the
discovery of the Ninja Magic Scroll of Water that Scott found and had
practically forgotten about her injuries.

  "Ow!" she winced as she tried to hold the scroll in a better light.

  *Practically* forgotten.

  "Well," replied Steve, handing the potion to Kate, "It seems that there 
was recently a bishonen directory created in a government building to the north
of the city.  They call it the Bishonen Pages.  It apparently has the name and
address of every bishonen in the city."

  "Could you get a look at it?"

  "That's the problem, it was stolen just recently by a 'mysterious thief
wearing a black cloak'."

  "Of course..." muttered Dan glumly.

  "It looks like we need to go after Garrett then," said Ard.

  "Well, he went in there," said Dan pointing to the structure that the thief
had run into, "I asked some people, and it turns out that the building is a
teleportation transit station.  The teleporters go from here to any of the
hundreds of islands in the area."

  "Well, what are we waiting for?" asked Scott, "Let's go after him!"

  "It's not that simple.  You see, teleporter trips take quite a lot of money,
something that we don't have any of at the moment."

  "There's got to be some way," said Damien, "RPGs always have a way of getting
around these things."

  "Let's try talking to the guy at the entrance first."

(^_-)

  "Excuse me," said Scott to the man at the gate, "could you let us in?"

  "You got any money, girlie?"

  A vein appeared on Scott's forehead, but she kept her cool, "Well, you see,
what happened was-"

  "Get out of here, you bums!" yelled the man, "Guards!"

  Two cloaked sentries immerged from the sides of the buildings.  One of them
had a black cloak on similar to Garrett's, but he was trailed by an aura of
darkness that masked his face.  The other had a pink cloak, and rolled out.

  Needless to say, it was pretty obvious who they were.

  "SaikyoKun and Devast8or?"

  Saikyo pulled off her hood.

  "Geez!  You guys keep showing up!  Are you stalking me or something?"

  "Actually," said Illyria, "You seem to be following us."

  "Am not!" retorted Saikyo, indignantly, "You know, it took eight hours before
someone came along and cut us down.  And now, I'm just trying to get a job, but
I've noticed that something bad ALWAYS happens to me when you guys are around!
I've got half a mind to-"

  "Look Sai," interrupted Dan, waving his hands, "We just want to get Garrett,
the guy who stole our money."

  "No can do."  Saikyo shook her head.

  "Why not?"

  "Dev's in charge of security here.  You gotta ask him.  I just keep track of
the toll fees," Saikyo explained, pulling out a calculator and punching some
numbers into it, "Let's see, six people and one chocobo..."

  "I am NOT a chocobo!"

  "...whatever.  That comes to 243 Fol."

  The one known as Devast8or looked up suddenly, "I thought we were charging
daktari."

  "Fine, we'll compromise," replied SaikyoKun turning back to the group, "It'll
be 149 GG."

  "Actually, we were just robbed," replied Steve.

  "Then it looks like it's payback time for what you did to me the last time we
met," said Devast8or grinning.

  "I can't let you pass either," Saikyo took off the pink cloak and adopted a
fighting stance, "I'd lose my job if I didn't try and stop you."

  The crowd, noting the impending fight, cleared the streets.

  "Great," groaned Scott, "Another required fight to advance the plot."

  "Not to worry," Dan said smiling and transforming, "VICTOLY!  It'll be a piece
of cake."  He reached into the party's inventory and pulled out a compact disk,
"We'll just play some Elton John to stop Dev and tie up Saikyo like last time."
Dan pushed a button on his armor and a CD player popped out.  "And now-"

  *THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK*

  Four throwing stars imbedded themselves in the CD.

  "Kate!" exclaimed Dan, looking to the side, "What are you-"

  Said throwing stars exploded destroying the CD and singeing Dan's armor.

  "It wasn't me!" Kate said frantically waving her arms and revealing that she
didn't have her ninja mask on.

  Devast8or lowered his right hand, placing it back under his cloak.  "It won't
be that easy," he warned them and then in one smooth motion threw off the cloak
that had hidden his features until now.

  Everyone [stared] at Devast8or.

  "That's one heckuva lot of weapons," remarked Ardweden.

  "Why is his face still shadowed?" asked Steve.

  Devast8or was adorned with heavy chain mail armor with metal pads on his legs
and arms.  Across his chest were two bandoleers of throwing knives and two
katanas were attached to his belt.  On his back was a large double bladed sword
with a glowing gem in the hilt.  On his right leg was a rack of shurikens and on
the left was a rack of throwing axes.  Each arm was equipped with a small
crossbow and each hand wore a double clawed glove.  Completing the ensemble were
two hybrid "pistolknives" in hostlers at his sides.

  The current amount of funds being used for animation doubled.

  And his face was still shadowed.

  And it was noon.

  And there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

  "What the-" Steve began.

  Illyria just "..."ed.

  SaikyoKun blinked.

  A dark aura flared up around Devast8or and with a cry of "For great JUSTICE!
I'm gonna set up you the BOMB!" he charged at the improparty, barely giving
Scott and Kate a chance to power up.

  "Waiken!" announced Ard firing a high powered ball of energy at Devast8or.

  "Yadoken!" Devast8or countered bringing both hands forward to shoot a much
larger chi bolt that easily punched through Ard's attack and carried through to
knock her over.

  Illyria attacked next with a series of rapid sword strikes that Devast8or
managed to match blow for blow with his dual katanas that he pulled out after
hitting Ard.  The others backed off and let the two battle it out afraid to help
lest they hit the wrong person.

  "Guardian Force!" screamed the walking armament while performing a uh...
devast8ing sword strike and causing a shockwave that blew the bishonen across
the field sending him crashing into a mailbox.

  "Micro Missiles!" Dan launched a swarm of tiny missiles at Dev who quickly
sheathed his katanas and threw shurikens, throwing knives, hand axes, and fired
arrows to stop every single missile well before they got close.

  "Pretty Pink Princess Sparkle Activation!" announced Scott firing a plethora
of rather harmless looking sparks at her opponent.

  Devast8or regarded these for a moment before pulling out a large sword with
two blades and a crystal mounted in the hilt.  "CHAOS WAVE!" he yelled causing
the gem to glow with an unearthly light and streams of energy to caress the
blades.  He swung the double sword in a wide arc releasing an energy wave that
caught Dan, Scott and Steve, threw them into the air and sent them skidding
across the ground.

  "Hmpf," muttered Devast8or putting away his sword and turning away and shaking
his head in disgust, "Some heroes."

  Multiple throwing stars suddenly appeared in Devast8or's shoulder armor and he
turned around to face Kate who was holding up a scroll.

  "Fire Lance!"

  Devast8or barely managed to block the projectile with his pistolknives which
he quickly pulled out of their hostlers.  "Looks like I forgot you," he said as
he charged her.

  Kate instantly pulled out her wakizashi and met Devast8or halfway clashing her
weapon against his in a fast paced battle frenzy.  Unfortunately, she was
clearly out classed and many of Devast8or's attacks made it through her guard.
The fact that he could also pull the trigger on his weapon to fire an energy
blast while fighting with the other as a sword didn't help either.

  As they fought on, the other party members were recovering from the initial
attack Devast8or had inflicted on them.  Illyria was the first to get up and
rush to Kate's aid, followed by Dan, Ardweden, and Scott.  Steve, being the
sidekick had somehow managed to take a worse beating that the other's despite
the fact that he had never been directly attacked.  Devast8or noticed them out
of the corner of his eye and immediately broke off his attack and leapt back to
a safe distance as the party regrouped.

  "You're better than I thought," he told them, dark aura returning, "but now
I'll finish you all off!  TERRA BREAK!"  He then leapt 30 feet into the air and
launched a volley of energy blasts at the still recovering party.

  Fortunately the blasts were spread over a large area so the adventurers did
not take the full brunt of the attack.

  Unfortunately, however, the blasts were spread over such a large area, that
they also could not avoid being hit by at least some of them.

  "Ah, well," Dan gasped for air, "at least he won't be able to do an attack
that powerful more than once."

  Then Devast8or did it again.

  And again.

  And again.

  And ag-

  "Wait a minute," yelled an almost KOed Kate, "How can you possibly do that so
many times in a row?  I can tell that's not a limit break because we haven't hit
you that much and you don't seem very tired."

  "Oh, that?" asked Dev, motioning behind him at Saikyo (whom everyone had
completely ignored up until now), "Saikyo's been taunting and building up my
super bar."  He laughed as Saikyo completed a rolling taunt, "Now we have enough
to do a triple team super!"  Turning around, he shouted, "senoB!!!"

  *Poink* Suddenly an upside-down floating skull with a flagella promptly
appeared behind him.  "Hotcha!  Hotcha!  Hotcha!" it said in a disturbing
manner.

  "Ah!  It's senoB!" exclaimed Scott recognizing the name.

  "Triple team blaster!" announced Devast8or shooting an arrow at the heroes
that exploded into a cloud of paralyzing electricity which held them in place as
Devast8or flipped backwards and powered up a large fireball along with Saikyo
and senoB.

  "Shinkuu..." they said in unison as small stones began to float up in the air
due to the monstrous power being generated.

  "YADOKEN!"  Devast8or's fireball flew forward at an amazing velocity bearing
down on the heroes.

  "GADOKEN!"  Saikyo's fireball flew forward and fizzled out after three feet.

  "EEE OONEE WANNA KEN!"  senoB's fireball flew upward, then left, then downward
right into Devast8or's fireball, extinguishing it, bounced around the city a
bit, hit Steve, blew up a taco stand and then shot out into space where it blew
up the moon.

  Everyone blinked.

  SaikyoKun blinked twice.

  Everyone sweatdropped.  Well, everyone but Devast8or who has a chronic
inability to sweatdrop and Illyria, who just didn't.

  "It's not fair," groaned Steve still smoking from the fireball.

  "Uh..." started Devast8or slightly miffed, "Never mind!  I'll still defeat you
all with my ultimate attack!  LION AGO- urk!"  Devast8or promptly felt his body
being drained of the energy required to perform such an ultimate attack, which
normally would not have been unusual as he would have been performing the move.
The problem was that he hadn't even started.

  He turned around.

  senoB was eating tacos, that wasn't out of the ordinary.

  SaikyoKun was taunting, that was correct.

  SaikyoKun was trailing shadows as she taunted, that was-

  "You're doing the Chohatsu Shinwa *now*?" Devast8or stated irritated, but not
showing it terribly well.  "You know what you doing?"

  "Oosha, ya know?" was the only reply he got.

  "Nah," said Dan, "Saikyo's part Dan Hibiki remember?  Could Dan Hibiki resist
doing the Mythical Taunt in the middle of a fight that he was winning?  I think
not."

  "...damn," muttered Devast8or as he turned to face the heroes once again.
"Fine, I'll beat you myself!  I don't need Saikyo!"

  senoB appeared next to him.  "What about me?" he questioned.

  "No," said Devast8or, "I'll do it myself!"  He brought his double bladed sword
to bear and advanced on the heroes, "En garde!"

  "Fine, I make cheese out of you!" replied senoB as an aura of E-Z cheese
appeared around him.  Then he did something totally unexpected (well, it wasn't
really that unexpected from *him*) and rather disturbing.

  *WABOMF!*

  A mushroom cloud explosion engulfed Devast8or before he had taken three steps.
When it cleared, he was left with what could best be described as an "atomic
wedgie".  His underwear was pulled up and over his head and covered his eyes.
He paused, allowing himself to take in what had just happen.  "senoB!" he yelled
angrily while stumbling around and swinging the sword in the air, "When I get my
hands on you I'm gonna-"

  His sentence was promptly cut of when he stepped into a teleporter and
disappeared.

  "Looks like it's time to go!" said senoB noticing the angry heroes and
following Devast8or through the teleporter.

  "Yosh!" SaikyoKun finished the Chohatsu Shinwa.  "Yeah!  I finished it!
Yahooi!" she finally looked up and noticed she was surrounded.  "Uh oh..."
Saikyo said as the irate group advanced on the blonde Saikyo-Ryuu practitioner.
SaikyoKun looked around frantically for a means of escape, and finding none,
turned to face the heroes.  "Ohohohohohoho!  You want a fight?  I'll give you a
fight!  GADOOOOOOOO... KEN!!!" Saikyo extended an open palm and a bright ball of
energy erupted from it heading to the space between Illyria and Ardweden.

  Neither of them blinked as the puffball fizzled out well before traveling six
inches.

  SaikyoKun on the other hand did blink.  "Ohohoho boy..." she said eyes
widening.

(@_@)

  "Now," said Scott grinning, "Tell us where Garret went!"

  "I'm not gonna tell you anything," retorted Saikyo who was currently tied up
by the feet and hung upside down over a pool of sharks in the local aquarium.

  "We'll feed you to the sharks if you don't talk," threatened Dan.

  "Do your worst."

  Splash.

  "I thought we were just bluffing," said Ard after seeing Saikyo fall into the
shark tank.

  "We were," replied Dan, "The knot came undone."

  "You mean we just- How horrible!  You think Sai's hurt?"

  "Hardly," said SaikyoKun emerging from the water and leaning on the side of
the tank.

  "What?  I thought there were sharks in there."

  "There are," confirmed Saikyo, "but these are aquarium sharks.  We're talking
leopard and nurse sharks here."  She reached into the water and pulled out a two
foot long shark, "See?  There are over 350 different species of sharks, but most
of them really don't pose much of a threat to man.  You've got a better chance
of being hit by lightening than being attacked by a shark.  Not to mention that
sharks don't even actively seek out people to eat, most attacks are just cases
of mistaken identi-"

  "I say we beat Saikyo up again."

  "Uh, now that you mention it, I remember Garret was going to..."

(#_#)

  A few hours later.

  Our heroes had arrived on a mysterious island with seemingly no traces of
human life whatsoever.  Luckily, Kate had spotted foot prints which they had
assumed to be Garret's and they set out in All Terrain Dan in the direction that
the prints lead.  This mode of transportation didn't last very long though.
About five minutes into their journey, they were beset by hordes of monsters
that kept coming until Dan was forced to use a special attack that drained his
batteries and left them traveling on foot once again.

  "Look!  A town!" exclaimed Ard, pointing to a small settlement in the
distance.

  "Great!" exclaimed Steve, "I seriously need to restock on potions and ethers.
I'm almost out.  How's our money situation Kate?"

  "We've been running into a lot of monsters on the island for some reason, so
we've got a bit."  She pulled a small drawstring bag from the inventory and
tossed it to Steve.  "Is that enough?"

  "Plenty," said Steve examining the contents.

  "Uh, I hate to rain on your parade you guys," said Dan who was in the front of
their procession with Ard, "but there seems to be a giant column of smoke coming
from the town and the city in general seems to have a red aura..."

  "What?!" exclaimed Steve, running up to the front.

  "We'd better check it out," suggested Kate and started sprinting towards the
town.

(~_^)

  "I-Preseru?  Is that the town's name?" questioned Dan, looking at the sign at
the entrance to the town, "Weird name."

  "Welcome to I-Preseru," said generic gate greeter #42 grimly, as dark clouds
began to gather, "also known as..."  He paused dramatically.

  "He must be about to say something sinister and evil, you think?" Kate
whispered to the group who collectively nodded.

  Lightening flashed across the sky and thunderclap rolled across the landscape
setting the mood as the man spoke the town's terrifying nickname.

  "[Happy] [Island]..." Lightening flashed again for good measure.

  The entire party (yes, including Illyria) facefaulted.

  "'Happy Island'?", repeated Dan incredulously, "That doesn't sound too bad?"

  "No," said the man holding up a hand.  "It's called '[Happy] [Island]'", he
repeated making sure to make the name sound as evil as it was possible to make a
place named "Happy Island" sound.

  "That's what I said."

  "No, you have to pronounce it evilly, '[Happy] [Island]' as opposed to 'Happy
Island'. Got it?"

  "Uh, sure..."

  The matter of the pronunciation of the town settled, the man lapsed into
another subject.  "Say, you folks look pretty tough.  We've got a problem in our
town and were looking for some adventurers to help us with it?  Would you be
interested?"

  "A sidequest?" asked Steve, "I don't-"

  "Of course!" exclaimed Kate.

  "-know."

  "You'll help?  That's great!" exclaimed the man, "Here's our problem.  There's
a being that recently showed up around here who goes by the name of Ihadurca.
She apparently has some power that allows her to exists in multiple dimensions
at the same time.  Or at least that what the scholars say.  She's been trying to
take over all of the towns in the area lately.  Fortunately, our wise men were
able to imprison her in a pocket-dimension called Evil Zone."

  "So what do you need us for?" asked Scott, "You just said you captured her."

  "Well, apparently that power over dimensions that she has is disrupting the
balance of nature around here.  Creating random portals to other dimensions.
Things from those dimensions have been slipping into the town and some things
from the town have been slipping into those other dimensions.  It's crazy!
Well, here's the job.  We need someone strong enough to go into Evil Zone and
defeat Ihadurca.  And about payment, we'll give you whatever we can if you'll
only stop the portals to other dimensions from forming."

  "Other dimensions?" said Ard, her eyes brightening.  "Maybe we can get back to
ours from here instead of having to do this stupid quest!"

  "The portals are rather unstable actually," the man interrupted.  "I don't
think going into any of them would be a good idea."

  "Shoot," said Scott snapping her fingers.

  "Hmm," though Steve, "Well, I guess it's worth a shot.  Maybe this Ihadurca
person can help us after we defeat her..."

  "You'll take the job?!" said the man joyfully, "Thank you!"  He paused, "Ah,
there is one other thing I should mention."

  Ard raised and eyebrow, "And that is?"

  "The portals have been releasing monsters in the town, so if you go in, you'll
probably have to fight lots of them before you can get to the entrance to Evil
Zone which is in the center of the city."

  "Great," groaned Steve, "I hope my supply of medicine will hold out."

(@_@)

  "Geez," remarked Dan as the party entered the city, that guy wasn't kidding
about the monsters."

  Most of the town was in shambles and random monsters were running amok.  The
townspeople had barricaded themselves in whatever buildings had not been
destroyed by the monster rampage.  Every few seconds a portal would open in a
random place either spewing out a monster or sucking up a piece of the town.

  "We should get stated," stated Illyria who immediately charged the nearest
monster, sword flashing.

  "The universe hates me," muttered Scott.

  "I'll just be hiding over there," said Damien pointing no an overturned cart.

  "Wait for me," said Steve who really didn't have enough curative items at the
moment to be of much help.

  "Alright!" exclaimed Dan, striking a pose, "On to VICTO- aaaargh!"

  "Dan!" shouted Kate turning around to see Dan being sucked into a portal that
formed behind him in mid-transformation.

  Ard, who was the closest, rushed over and reached into the steadily closing
portal.  Her hand came in contact with metal, "I've got him," she exulted and
pulled backwards with all her might.

  "Argh!" screamed a red mecha-suited individual as he was thrown into the cart
that Steve and Damien were hiding behind.  The impact smashed it to splinters
and he hit his head hard against the stone wall behind it.  Cracks formed in the
wall as he slid to the ground.

  "Oops!" Ardweden blushed and a sweatdrop formed on her head, "Sorry, don't
know my own strength."

  "Ow, what the?..." began the mecha before noticing something.  "Look out
behind you!" he pointed behind Ard where an ogre had managed to sneak up
undetected.  Pulling out a laser gun the red-powerrangerlike-individual shouted
"VICETRIVER!" and blasted the monster with a bolt of red energy.  The monster
howled in pain and Ard turned and delivered a hail of blows finishing with a
kick that sent it exploding in a flash of red polygons.

  "Are you alright," he asked putting the gun away.  By now, all of the monsters
in the immediate area had been destroyed and the group gathered around the
broken cart.

  "Yeah," breathed Ard, "I'm fine.  Thanks Dan."

  "Who?"

  "Dan."

  "Who's Dan?"

  "You are of course."

  "No, I'm not."

  Everybody froze.

  Illyria (quite astonishingly) blinked.

  "Who are you then?" asked Kate with a touch of worry in her voice.

  "I am..." he paused for dramatic affect and then launched in to a series of
ridiculous poses that made Scott's look almost normal while saying: "the supreme
ruler to destroy all evil!  I fight for truth, justice, freedom, and everything
that is good!  ZEROCHAKU!  I am the righteous one!  I am the [ULTIMATE]!
[*HERO*]!! {[*DANZAIIIIIIVEEEEER*]}!!!"

  Everyone else facefaulted.

  Getting up and ignoring the urge to ask: "What the heck is 'zerochaku'?" Kate
asked, "Are you alright Dan?  You hit your head pretty hard there."

  "Perfectly alright," came the reply, "But my name is Danzaiver, not Dan."

  "That *is* Dan right?" asked Ard nudging Steve.

  "Well, it certainly *looks* like him," Steve confirmed, "After all, how many
people run around with red mechasuits in an RPG world set in a land were people
use magic and swords?"

  "Well, Ash had that one suit, but-"

  "You know what I mean."

  "Seriously though, I think he's got amnesia or something," offered Scott,
"Selective amnesia at least, after all, he knew how to fight and use his suit."

  "Excuse me," said Danzaiver, waving his hands to get their attention, "I don't
know who you guys are, but you seem pretty powerful, would you mind helping me
on my quest?"

  "And what would that be?" asked Ard worriedly.

  "To defeat Gillaclva who is imprisoned in Evil Zone so that I can save the
land of I-Preseru, [Happy] [Island]."

  "Gillaclva?"

  "Or Ihadurca if you prefer."

  "Well, whispered Steve to Kate, "At least he knows what we were doing before
he got hit, we might as well finish what we started.  I doubt I'll be able to
cure whatever his problem is until I restock."

  "It's agreed then," said Illyria, "Let us proceed to the center of town where
the entrance to Evil Zone is located."

  "Onward!" shouted Danzaiver, "Evil Zone awaits!"

  "That was my line," grumbled Kate as the rest of the party followed the mecha
into the center of the monster infested city.

(!_!)

  "Spiral Bomber!" shouted Danzaiver launching himself in a mock Psycho Crusher
in the center of a horde of enemies sending the flying in various directions
with a beam sword he had pulled out of somewhere.

  "Well, on the plus side," remarked Kate while throwing some shuriken, "His
fighting abilities seem to have improved."

  "Lightening Drive!" shouted Danzaiver shooting a lightening gravity ball which
stunned multiple monsters as it passed through them.

  "I guess," replied Ard while using a ki blast on flesh-eating monster #62,
"But he sure has been shouting a lot more."

  "Here comes, HOUNDBREAK!" um... shouted Danzaiver while impaling another
monster and performing a spinning jump as he wrenched the beam sword from its
body.

  "Cutie Flower Wai Wai Flaming Princess Sparkling Activation!" announced Scott,
blowing away the rest of the monsters with an attack that I'm not about to try
and describe, so you'll just have to imagine it.  Smiling, she clapped some
imaginary dust from her hand.

  "Okay," said Steve surveying the surroundings and noticing the giant forty
foot tower with five smaller sixty foot towers surrounding it, "I'm guessing
that's where we need to be."

  "How do we get up there?" pondered Steve, "There don't seem to be any stairs."

  "Maybe we could try climbing?"

  "Dan could fly us up one at a time maybe?"

  "Danzaiver."

  "Whatever."

  "Well, I can only use my teleport between places we've already been to."

  "Or, we could use that elevator," suggested Illyria pointing to a previously
unseen elevator platform that had just landed next to the tower.

  "Or we could do that."

(^_^)

  The top of the center column of Evil Zone was surrounded by an energy storm of
great magnitude, held in place by the five columns surrounding it.  Each of the
columns represented one of the elements, Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, and Ether.
Arcane symbols on each of the columns channeled the energy into the storm that
completely isolated anyone in the center from the outside world.  Fortunately
for our heroes, they were not immediately fried upon coming into contact with
the barrier as the platform they were riding on formed a shield that safely
carried them through the barrier.  Upon landing, the party dismounted and
examined the surroundings.

  "I can't believe it had elevator music," remarked Scott.

  "There's no one here," said Kate, looking around.

  "So you've finally arrived," said a voice that seemed to come from everywhere
at once.

  The party looked around for the source of the voice and in the middle of the
platform a woman appeared.  She had green hair and wore a rather revealing
outfit which revealed strange markings on her body.  Above each of her shoulders
floated a sphere with yin-yang markings on them and behind her, she had giant
wings of energy on her back and in her hand she held a spiked wand.

  "IHADURCA!" exclaimed Danzaiver pointing at the woman.

  Ihadurca looked at the mecha and frowned.  "How did you get here?  I was
certain my counterpart from your dimension had banished you."

  "It will take more than that to defeat the righteous one!  I will not be
defeated!  For everything that is good and true, I shall defeat you!!!  THE
ULTIMATE HERO!!!  [DANZAIVER]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

  Get Set!

  GO!

  Ihadurca started by firing off a volley of energy beams that sent the party
scattering.  Danzaiver was the first to recover and threw himself at Ihadurca in
a spiral bomber which was blocked by a barrier that sprung up around her.  As
soon as he landed he was grabbed by Ihadurca and thrown to the ground.

  "Yah!" yelled Kate as she and Ardweden attacked Ihadurca from both sides.

  "Summon Flames!"  Spheres of blue energy formed around Ihadurca and spun
outwards knocking both the ninja and martial artist head over heels.

  Illyria's trenchcoat turned plaid and she rushed at Ihadurca only to be
similarly blown away when the absolute being fired blast of red energy that
collided with the bishonen in mid strike.

  "Magical Sailor Magic Sparkling Lovely-"  Scott's attack was abruptly cut off
when a red circle appeared below her and suspended her floating in the air as
Ihadurca casually floated over, grabbed her and fired a beam of energy into her
abdomen which sent her flying in the air only to be blasted again when Ihadurca
teleported above her and fired again.

  As she landed Ihadurca taunted, "Is that the best you can do?"

  Now, taunting is something that is very risky and dangerous as it leaves you
completely open to attack and therefore should only be done by experts like Dan
Hibiki.  Ihadurca, was not such an expert and was therefor unaware that
Danzaiver had risen to his feet and had managed to form a similar red circle
below her.  Needless to say, she immediately realized that her taunting was
premature when she became suspended in the air unable to move.

  Danzaiver looked up to the sky and shouted, "Lock on!  Seingreed!"

  Nothing happened.

  He tried again, "Ruri!  Seingbraze!"

  More nothing.

  "What the heck is wrong with my transmitter?" he muttered while tapping the
side of his head with his hand.

  "Uhgh," groaned Steve shaking his head.

  The party noting that Ihadurca was currently suspended above the ground
defenseless decided that pounding her would be a good way to finish the darn
battle and set to work.  Ardweden used many martial arts attacks, Kate used
ninja magic, Illyria used sword techniques, and Scott used many attack with long
silly names frequently using the words "Pretty", "Lovely", and "Wai".

  Danzaiver kept calling out the orbiting tactical laser satellite he thought
was floating somewhere above him.

  After about the seventh round of beatdown, Ihadurca managed to break free of
the micro-energy prison and teleport to the middle of the confinement area.  She
looked very much defeated, but still had one last card to play.

  "That's it!  I'll destroy you all!" she cried while energies exploded out from
her and forming into a portal above their heads the size of the platform.  Once
it was fully formed, the entire portal started a vacuum effect that started to
exert a pull on every area of the platform except that where Ihadurca stood.
"Hahahahaha!" she laughed as the heroes desperately clung to the ground in an
effort to avoid being pulled into the portal, "You can't hold on like that
forever!  And when you're pulled into the portal you'll-"

  Her rant was abruptly cut off when a screaming red blur fell from the area of
the portal directly above her and landed on her knocking her out.  With the
power source of the deadly portal inactive, the vacuum affect ceased and the
heroes shakily returned to their feet and walked up to examine what had
happened.

  As they approached, the thing, or rather, person as it seemed that had fallen
on Ihadurca groaned and rose to his feet.

  "Dan?" asked Kate, recognizing the mecha and turning to Danzaiver, "Then who
are you?"

  "I told you!" said Danzaiver removing his helmet to reveal someone who was
most definitely NOT Dan, "I'm not Dan.  I'm Danzaiver, but my real name is Sho
Mikagami."  He continued despite the adventures' shocked expressions, "I was
summoned to the land of I-Preseru in an alternate dimension to battle Ihadurca,
but somewhere along the line she was able to send me here."

  "Why didn't you tell us that from the beginning?" asked Steve mouth agape.

  "I wasn't able to figure out that I was in another dimension until just now
when I wasn't able to call my partner Ruri to activate the orbiting satellite
from Seingreed."  He walked over to the steadily closing portal and leapt into
it saying, "Thank you for helping me defeat the Ihadurca of this dimension, my
world thanks you for it!"

  And then he was gone.

  Dan however, was back.  "You mistook HIM for ME?  How did you manage to do
that?  We look nothing alike!"

  "Um...  our bad?" offered Steve.

  "You beat her!"

  The party spun around to come face to face with a small purple haired girl
that appeared from thin air.  She regarded the heroes skeptically.  I find it
hard to believe that Lea could lose to people like you, but it's not important."
She pointed a finger at the unconscious Ihadurca and spoke a single word which
caused Ihadurca to vanish in a flash of light.

  "Who are you?  And who is Lea?"

  "I am Kakurine," she said, "and Lea is the original incarnation of Ihadurca.
Before she gained the ability to manifest herself in other dimensions, she and I
used a support system which maintained our existence.  At one point Lea no
longer needed the system and branched out into other dimensions.  I am now on a
quest to destroy all of her incarnations in other dimensions in order to bring
her existence into a single form."

  "Ooooookay," said Steve.

  "Anyway, I wanted to ask you to help me destroy all of her other incarnations!
It'll be fun!" she smiled in a disturbing way.

  "Ah... no thanks," replied Dan sweatdropping along with the rest of the party.
"We've already got our own quest."

  "Oh well," she replied as she vanished once again, "I could have helped out
with your quest first, but you people seem to be very independent.  Thanks
anyways!"

  "..."

  "I know.  I know.  Don't even say it."

(@_@)

  Next time on "Danzaiver: The Ultimate Hero!"  Danzaiver faces off
against his newest opponent, Midori, the fiery successor of the Fuin
Martial Arts School. Can Danzaiver triumph over Midori's powerful fist?  
Find out on the next episode of "Danzaiver!"

  Uh, that's not the right show...

  Oh, sorry.

(^_^)

Author's Notes:

Okay, first, the description of Devast8or is his own description of the
character when he removes the cloak.  The same goes for senoB.  Also, the entire
fight scene was something I though up on a whim and decided to put in because
there don't seem to be enough descriptive fights lately.  Mostly it's either one
attack or it just skips to after the fight and I wanted something different.

Second, Evil Zone is a really good game.  It's heavily anime inspired and even
has bad dubbing (it's extremely funny to watch, trust me).  Danzaiver, Ihadurca,
Kakurine, and Midori are all characters from the game and are more or less like
I described.  The Danzaiver replacing Dan idea came directly from playing the
game far too much.

Third, the shark ramble came from watching far Shark Week before writing the
chapter.

Thanks to Devast8or, senoB and RDMGryphon for prereading and suggestions.

--SaikyoKun
http://saikyo.gamespage.com