The sky was a deep purple-black.  Gray clouds shrouded the falling sun,
and a gust of northern wind rustled the grass.  The trees groaned
quietly, the bare branches brushing against one another, then fell
silent.  No birds were in the sky.  No deer ran over the hills.  Nature
was still; watching, listening.

The destined heroes stood upon the crest of their hill in fear and awe.
Facing them from the opposite peak was a lone shape robed in a cloak of
black.  Upon his chest he wore a coat of blackened mail.  Upon his
raven-black hair sat a thin ringlet of silver studded with rubies.
Around his neck was a silver amulet forged in the semblance of a
dragon, and within its talons was gripped the gem of ages, the heart of
legends; it smoldered with a crimson light, an eternal flame, yet was
contained by the darkness.  In his hands he wielded a long black staff
with a curved blade affixed to one end and a long spike to the other;
below the blade a dull white gemstone integrated seamlessly with the
weapon, and midway down the staff silver runes were carved into the
light, sturdy metal.  The wind caught his cloak,  flapping it gently
before it settled back around his tall form.  His emotionless black
eyes regarded the heroes from a hard, shadowed face.  He was the one,
the lord of darkness, the herald of death.  He was Mortavis.

He advanced towards the heroes, his movements effortless, his demeanor
betraying no fear, no anxiety.  Illyria unsheathed his sword.  Scott
underwent her transformation.  Ardweden focused her energy and readied
herself for combat.  Dan powered up his suit.  Kate pulled up her mask
and drew her blade.  As one they stepped forward to meet their
adversary.  Steve was left behind, standing helplessly.

They closed in on one another.  Closer, closer, while the world stopped
around them.  The sun was lost from sight and a dark, brooding twilight
set in.  Closer....

"CHAOS STORM OF IMMOLATION!!!!" cried Scott.  In response white-hot
meteors materialized before her and flew headlong at the enemy.  The
figure halted his stride and stood without moving, his eyes closed and
oblivious to his impending doom.  The missiles bore down on him,
faster, faster......  He lifted his hand, palm outward.  The meteors
crashed hard into the invisible barrier, shattering and vanishing
without a trace.

Kate lept into the air, sword gleaming in the last rays of light.  Down
she fell, completing the swing as she hit ground.  Her sword was
stopped short by a blindingly fast parry.  Mortavis then spun
backwards, bringing the spike low in a tripping manuever.  Kate dodged
with a quick jump to her right....straight into the other blade.
Mortavis swung through and charged the remaining heroes.

Scott's shock changed to abject terror as she found herself directly in
his path.  "Illyria!" she cried as she desperately sought escape, but
soon she realized what had to be.  The cold, hard spike sank through
her soft abdomen, and for a moment she felt her feet lift off the
ground.  Then he withdrew the blade, and she sank to the ground.  And
then all was dark.

"Scott..." Illyria's trench coat turned a deadly plaid, his eyes
narrowed in fury.  "You bastard...." He stood before Mortavis, his
knuckles white around his sword handle.  The wind returned, and his
hair fluttered.  He struck first, then struck again, and again, fueled
by bitter hatred.  The crack of metal upon metal resounded through the
valley as Mortavis countered swing after ruthless swing.  Illyria was
tireless, frenzied, blinded by anger.  He swung hard, a killing blow,
but missed and found himself staggering backwards, stunned, from an
open palm strike.  Mortavis leveled his staff at Illyria, the white
gemstone glowing fiercely.  The bishounen braced for the shot, but it
was a useless gesture.  The shockwave caught Illyria full-on and threw
him against an outcropping, his bones crumpling under the stress.  He
collapsed in a heap and moved no more.

Dan launched a swarm of missiles at the backside of the black figure.
Mortavis turned and considered him coldly, emotionlessly, the missiles
deflecting from his hand, away from the burning crystal.  Dan charged,
heavy guns ablaze.  The dark one stood unshaken beneath the hailstorm
of projectiles, raising his staff high above his head.  At his command,
the heavens converged, the clouds growing a deep red and spiraling
together far above the valley.  Dan stopped, unbelieving, unwilling to
believe that the end had come, knowing that it had, that....he had
failed.  Mortavis brought his staff down in a sharp arc, and the
heavens obeyed, a flaming pillar falling from the sky...

Ardweden fell to her knees, realizing at last what had happened.  The
end had come, it had come for Kate, for Scott, for Illyria, for Dan,
and......it was coming for her.  Everything was going to end,
everything...and she was powerless to change it.  She only half saw the
cloaked figure approaching, her vision clouded as it raised the staff.
'How?' she asked herself.  'How can it end?'  And then as the blade
fell she thought, 'Maybe it can't.....'

Steve watched the battle in disbelief.  He longed to run but knew he
could not.   He saw the figure turn and look at him, start walking in
his direction.  He saw the gem on the amulet, bright in the surrounding
night.  And then he saw the countries, he saw the cities, he saw the
people, relived the adventures...and he knew that it could not be over.
'No,' he said to himself, and saw truth in it.  But then he saw the
countries razed, the cities burning, the people slaughtered.  And he
saw the abyss opening for him, and he was afraid of it.  'No!' he
begged, but he knew that it would not listen to him, that it wanted him
and would be appeased only after consuming his mortal soul.  'NO!'
With one final plea he found the ground stripped from under him, the
hole below him ever growing in anticipation, in greed.....he felt the
blade enter his throat and exit out the back of his neck.....

------------

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Steve bolted upright in
bed, sweating all over and breathing hard.   It took him a while to
realize that it was all just a really, really bad dream.

"Hey, haven't I had that nightmare before?" he asked himself, and 
looked over to make sure that Dan realized that he was fine.  Dan
wasn't there.

"Uh, Dan?  Where'd you go?"

"He won't be coming back."  Steve looked up and saw a dark outline in
the shadowed corner of the room.  The figure stepped into the light,
his dark hair gleaming in the early morning sun.  Around his neck hung
a pendant of a dragon clutching a glowing crystal.  It was....

"OH, SHI-!!!" The looming figure had drawn a long, wicked knife with a
jagged edge.  He shot forward, catching Steve below the ribcage...

------------

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Steve once again bolted upright and suddenly realized:
"Hey wait a minute, I've had that nightmare before too!"
Steve looked over to Dan's bed to see Dan peacefully sleeping although 
she had just screamed at the top of her lungs.
"Uh, Dan?  You alright?"

"He's fine."  Steve swallowed in advanced as she expected a figure to step
into the light with a pendant hung around his neck.  Instead, stepping out
from behind the curtain was a round, pink, puff ball with arms legs, ears,
eyes, a fluff of hair and a microphone/pen.  It was...

"OH, SHI--wait, its just a pu-" Immediately the round puff ball started to
sing:
"Jig-gi-ly-puff, ji-gi-li-i-li-puff, jig-gi-ly-puff, jig-gi-lyyyyyyy..."
Steve suddenly felt very tired and fell asleep as the pink puff ball 
uncapped his microphone...

-------------

"Steve! Steve! Wake up!"

"Ugh..." muttered Steve, as she opened her eyes to see Dan standing over 
her,"Huh?  What happened? Was I having a nightmare again?"

"No.  You were sleeping fine. But we gotta go. It's pass our check out time."

"Oh, okay."

"And who drew all over your face?"

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

Otaku Wish Fufillment Theathre
Chapter 31:Towers and Shadows...That, and (hopefully) the last Saikyo-Kun
friend you'll ever have to meet.
Written by |\|/-|Y|2|3
Started by Scott Schimmel

Garret traveled east as he escaped from the destined heroes.  None of the 
heroes wanted to go east even to chase Garret, since it was basically a
mountain path that would cause the heroes to go all the way up a mountain
that could equal Mt. Everest in size.  But since the author demanded that
the heroes moved themselves to the eastern lands, the author had to make
a plot twist:

"Yo, foos!  I's been lookin' for you!"

"..." ...ed Illyria.

"Oh no..." said Dan, "It's Mr. E again..."

"Didn't we beat you enough the last time?" said Ard

"But I's want a rematch, foo!" exclaimed Mr.E, "and this time, I's gonna beat 
you foos! That'll teach you for not staying in school and drinking your milk!"

"Wai! More free experience!" said Kate.

"I's come prepared for you foos! Now I'll teach you why you need 8 hours of 
sleep and eat breakfast everyday!"

Mr.E. promptly hopped into his newly-made super-powered turbo-charged
Chevron-with-Techron-filled Super Yugo and charged off, this time at 
an impressive 3.5 miles per hour up the mountain path.  The motley crew 
consisting of one mecha hero, one magical girl, one overly excited ninja, one
lute-carrying martial artist, one bishounen, one sidekick turned chemist turned girl,
and one birdlike manlike birdlike manlike birdlike, etc. mascot charged up the path
to try  and catch Mr. E.  They didn't notice that they ran past a sign saying 
"Welcome to Mystara". They also didn't notice shadows behind them.

"You can't catch me, my Yugo's fast!" taunted Mr. E. from his slowly
increasing lead over the heroes, "That'll teach you to do drugs and not brush
your teeth foos!"

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

27.9 minutes later, the heroes finally became tired chasing after Mr. E, and
finally got some rest for approximately .1 of a minute, as Mr. E showed up once
again, this time on an upper cliff, where the heroes could not reach.

"I's told you foos I's prepared! That's what you get for not walking your dog 
and taking out the trash!"

The heroes "..." quietly and tried to rest for obviously coming battle with Mr. E.
But instead, Mr. E had a different plan.

"I's gonna get some payback with the help of 75089 bosses! You's about to get
yo arses kick and go cryin' home to yo mama'!  That's what you get for not
washing your hands and drinkin' enough water!"

(-Boss1-)
"Here's yo first boss! Go green slime!"

The heroes immediately got up off the floor, and collectively facefaulted, except
for Illyria, who flicked a rose at the slime. A white '9999' appeared over the 
slimes head, and the slime disintegrated into red polygons.

"Well get ready for the next boss then!" cried Mr. E, "Go blue slime!"
"..."
(-Boss67 : Mr.E Box-)
"Well it looked like a treasure chest when it came out!" claimed the
overly-excited ninja, Kate, now overly-jumpy due to the fact that when she tried
to open the thing a Mr. E. head came out of it.

"It's a Mr.E Box foo!"

Realizing the incredibly stupid joke that the he had just made, the author 
immediately moved his mouse cursor and deleted the stupid joke that followed.
(-Boss14057 : STAC-)
"You may have just defeated Green Slime 5, but you'll never defeat the next 
boss foos! He'll teach you for drivin' drunk and over the speed limit! Meet STAC!"

"STAC?" questioned all of the heroes at the same time.

Suddenly a floating torso appeared on the main screen.

"!!Nemeltneg uoy era woh!!Su ot gnoleb era esab ruoy lla. Noitcurtsed ot 
yaw no era uoy."

"What you say?" said the mecha hero Dan, throughly confused through STAC's 
use of bad grammar and backwards language.

"Emit ruoy ekam evivrus ot ecnahc on evah uoy."

"Enough of this," said the magical girl Scott, "ENERGY WAI ENCHANTED DEEP WAI VOLCANO
WAI SWIPE MASTERFUL WAI LINE STAR PINK WAI WIZARD NOBLE WAI FLOWER!!"

The magical girl's attack caused many things to show up, including a masterful
noble wai-ing pink starwizard launching wai-ing flowers of energy that caused a 
lot of volcanos to show up in the area and immolate the enemy.
Unfortunately for the heroes, the floating torso on the main screen was just
a projection and did no damage to STAC.

"Ha ha ha..." said STAC.

Suddenly storm clouds formed overhead and Odan's voice rang through the mountains.

"Dan, you must use this to defeat him."

A beam of light brought down with it a very old looking cartridge.

"Plug it into your belt, Dan."

Dan obeyed and plugged the cartridge into his multi-slot, (which as of now 
can hold everything from diskettes to removable hard drives) activating a
powerful transformation.

" 'ZIG' mode activated" sounded Dan's belt.

Dan (through a flashy, blinking, glowing, illuminating transformation sequence
that tends to give people who are staring at the reflection of the transformation
off of Pikachu's eyes for 5 minutes seizures) turned into a 'ZIG'.  But not just
any 'ZIG'.  This was the grandest of all 'ZIG's in the universe.  Sporting not
only bigger guns and a bigger engine, it also, coincidentally, had enough room
in it for 6 people and a mascot.

The 'DanZIG' immediately flew up into space, finding the array, that STAC was
projecting his image from.

"For great justice." boomed Odan.

The 'DanZIG' fired a single Vulcan bolt at the array.  The 'DanZIG' watched as the
single vulcan bolt hit the shields outside of the array, went through the shields,
hit the hull, went through the hull, went through a couple of walls, and hit STAC in 
the back of the head.  Then the whole array exploded in a flashy, blinky way, which
would also have caused seizures if it had been reflected off of Pikachu's eyes for
5 minutes.

The 'DanZIG' came in for a landing. 5 feet off the ground:

" 'ZIG' mode deactivated"

Due to the size of his 'ZIG' form, Dan appeared 8 feet off the groud, and promptly
fell 12 feet to the ground, due to him flipping himself to his front. The sound of
one mecha hero falling 12 feet was now echoed through the really tall mountain.

(-Boss75089 : The Terrible Executioner-)
Mr. E was in a state of fury.
"You don't brush your teeth! Or feed your dog! Or drink your milk! Or get 8 hours
of sleep..."

The party was actually very placid.  Ardweden and Dan just came back up the mountain
bringing supplies from the town.  Scott and Kate were playing Quadruple Bypass.  Illyria
was alternatively brooding and posing with random backgrounds appearing.  Steve was
sleeping.  Damien was molting.

An hour later, Mr. E finally got out of his ranting state.
"Well, then time for your last boss foos!  Meet boss #75089, the Terrible
Executioner! Now he's a guy who drinks his milk, and helps his mama!"

A very larged black-masked man, carrying a incredibly huge Iron Axe popped up out
of nowhere. Before the heroes had a chance to powerup, the Terrible Executioner
made his move.  First he swung his axe and missed everything.  Then he swung his 
axe and hit the ground.  Then he jumped at the heroes and ended up hitting a rock.
His next move was another swing, this time hitting the cliff behind them, causing
the road to become blocked. Then he hit the tree which fell down on top of the tent 
which Steve (who still has a nack for attracting a lot of pain, although she is no
longer the sidekick) was still sleeping in. And finally, the executioner chopped off
his own head.

Mr. E stared hard, and became confused by the fact that the heroes had just beaten
75089 bosses, and was unable to do a single point of damage to them. Mr. E suddenly
went into a confused ranting state.
"But you don't walk your teeth! Or brush your milk! Or drink your dog! Or not do
sleep! Or get 8 hours of drugs everyday..."

As soon as Mr. E popped out of his ranting state, he jumped into his Super Yugo.
"You can't catch me! My Yugo goes fast!"

Unknown to Mr. E, the heroes had already left Mr. E two hours ago, when he
begun ranting. Also unknown, they had planted a car bomb in his Yugo.

As the heroes camped just a little down the mountain path, a large boom
sound was heard a few miles away.

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

"You know Kate, we really should've gone back down the mountain.  We all
agreed that we didn't want to go this way." said Dan.

"But the path was blocked, so we might as well head up the mountain instead!"
said Kate.

"But I can just use my new upgrade and ..." Kate was already bouncing 
half a mile up the path by the time he finished the word "and". 

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

Finally, as the author had planned, the 6 heroes finally made it to the Village
of Trinta. Of course, since there was no person standing around saying "Welcome
to the Village of Trinta" near the entrance of Trinta, the first thing they asked
was, "Where are we?"  And then they noticed no one standing in the streets, except
for the dozens of people running scared for their lives and 6 other heroes. One was
in gold armor, carrying a long sword. A second was carrying a silver mace. A third
stabbing people with a dagger. A fourth throwing a seemlessly unlimited supply of
oil on the ground. A fifth using magic to make leaves hit people. And a sixth was
slaughtering goblins with a rather large axe.

Dan, being the natural leader he was (and because the group shoved him out into
the middle of the street), tried to get some answers out of the townspeople.

"Uh, excuse me?" The dozens of people ignored him, as they were busy screaming
and running for their lives.  So Dan next went up to the gold fighter.

"Hello. Mr. um..."

"Get down!" yelled the golden fighter, hitting Dan with the flat of his sword, 
knocking Dan out of the way of a slowly moving flying piece of rock which was
thrown by the goblin behind him. (Amazingly the rock was deflected off the golden
armor and embedded itself into Steve's head) The golden fighter sliced at the
last goblin, killing it in one slash.

The rest of the heroes rejoined Dan, who was now talking to the golden fighter.

"My name is Jarred. I am of the fighter class. (Pointing to the dwarf) He is Dimsdale,
an excellent weaponsmith and fighter. (Pointing to the girl in the hooded cloak) She is
Moriah, an incredible thief. (Pointing to the other girl in the green shirt)
She is Lucia, a great elf of magic. (Pointing to the man in the black cloak) That
is Syous, an excellent Magic User. (Pointing to the man in blue) That is Grendlon,
a powerful Cleric."  After speaking, Jarred stared at Dan very hard. "What class are
you?"

"I, uh, am of the, uh, 'Mecha' class..." said Dan, trying to change the subject, "So
are all those weak goblins what made all the townspeople run away?"

"No." blankly said Dimsdale, "(Pointing behind Dan) That did." Dan slowly turned
and looked behind him to see what looked like a very large battering ram with
lots of weapons connected to it.  The destined heroes quickly used their powerup
sequence and lined up for battle against "The Goblin Warmachine" as the magically
floating words above them said it was.  The other heroes (whom will now be called
the D&D heroes for no particular reason) quickly rushed away and grabbed all the 
treasure chests that surrounded the area, and pick up whatever healing potions 
they could find.

"Hey, aren't you guys gonna line up to battle?" called Ardweden.

"Line up?" asked Lucia, "What are you talking about?"

"You know, line up!" said Kate, "Isn't that the standard in every RPG?"

Lucia turned to Moriah, "Do you know what they are talking about?"  Moriah shook
her head.

"Uh, guys?" Steve turned the attention of the destined heroes to the front.
"Is that thing going to stop?"

The warmachine was running quickly, being pushed by 4 goblins at top speed.  The
D&D heroes were dumbfounded to why the destined heroes were just standing there.
The D&D heroes spread out across the ground, such that the Warmachine would only
be able to hit one of them while the others would attack it from behind.  With
the destined heroes standing in a line, however, there wasn't a very good chance
of the Warmachine to not aim for them.  Jarred finally got the nerve to go talk to
Dan.

"Of course it's going to stop, Steve.  Its an RPG! Everything stops during a 
battle sequence!" Kate answered.

"Um, Dan was it?  Why is your party just standing there in a perfect line?" asked
Jarred.

"We're lining up for battle of course.  Why?  Is there something wrong with our line?"

"No, it's just--" Jarred's text was interrupted by the Warmachine all of a sudden
tossing stones from a catapault connected somewhere to the strange contraption.
"MOVE!".  Quickly the D&D heroes ran over and pushed the destined heroes out of
their alignment and into safety.  Syous tried to use his Meteor Storm to give time
to get the heroes out of the way.  However, it was not without cost.

WHAP!

"SYOUS!!!"

Illyria gave a quick "ooh, that's gotta hurt" look as Syous' body was crushed by the
Warmachine's wheels.

"Well, I guess it wasn't going to stop..." Kate said quietly to herself.

In 20 more seconds, the D&D heroes totally dismantled the Warmachine with millions
of slash combos, hold persons, and an infinite supply of LB, PO, CSW, and MM rings,
thanks to the then invincible Moriah. After the battle, the D&D heroes posed, then 
went back to mourn over their dead friend. Jarred was first to speak:

"Great googley moogley!  How could he die on the Warmachine?!"

"Well, he was the Magic User." reminded Lucia.

"Then why didn't he use all of his spells?" asked Moriah

"He told me he was going to use them on the Man Scorpion." answered Dimsdale.

"Man Scorpion?" said Grendlon, "But we were going to go on the Juggernaut!"

"I guess that's what happens when you don't come to rehersal." remarked Jarred.

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

The parties were restoring their health in the Inn of the Village of Trintan.
Somehow, the D&D heroes were regaining their strength by just standing around.
But the destined heroes opted for sleeping in the nice comfy beds.  Everyone
had a good rest, except for Steve, who was haunted by a repeat nightmare--twice.

In the morning,

"So," Jarred said to Dan, "your party is going on a quest to find the Seals of
Maguffin?"

"Do you know where any are?"

"Actually,"Jarred dramatically paused, the destined heroes creeped to the edge
of their seats, "I wouldn't know where any of the Seals of Maguffin are." 
All sans Illyria fell off their chairs.

"I do however know about something reported to be 'really cool' that is on top
of Sable Tower."

"Something really cool? WAI! Another sidequest!" Kate exclaimed, jumping for joy
while the rest of the party ...ed. "So where is Sable Tower?"

"Actually we can take you there in our Airship..."

"You guys own an Airship?! WAI!!"

"Well, it's kind of a free rental..." Jarred dramatically paused once again.
"But it's in the next town." The destined heroes this time including Illyria
fell off their chairs.

"There are only two ways to get to the next town," Jarred continued, "One is by
raft which can only hold 4 people.  The rest of us will have to travel on the
Juggernaut, a train that crosses back and forth between the two cities. I suggest
we split the groups.

"Wouldn't it be easier if we didn't split the groups?" asked Ardweden.

"Um, well..." Jarred felt the mouse cursor on top of his back and started to sweat,
"Of course not! This way, uh, if one of us doesn't get all the way through, the
other party will be there!" The mouse cursor moved off of Jarred's back.  Jarred
released his breath.

The destined heroes ...ed in response.

"Our best rafter, Lucia, will go with Moriah, and...you two," Jarred said poiniting
randomly at Kate and Scott, "The rest will travel down the second pathway to the 
Juggernaut.  I will meet you in 45 seconds after my party goes to the store."

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

"Well, see you in Aengmore," called Lucia as she, Kate, Scott, and Moriah drifted
down the river.  Besides the rest of the party, a lone man dressed in pink saw them
off.

"Oosha! Doushita? Doushita? Ora, ora, ora!"  Then, before anyone noticed him, he
rolled off the dock into the river. A completely worthless scene indeed.

"Come on," Jarred said to Dan, "If I know Lucia, she'll be there before us if we
don't start now."

The pink man rose up out of the river. "Oosha!"

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

"This is so boring..." said Kate, only 12 seconds into their trek down the river,
"We've only attacked one person, and I didn't even get to pick up the money..."

"Quiet," said Moriah, "This is the quickest and easiest way down the river."

"But we don't even get any money!  And you call yourself a thief."

"They only call me a thief because I can do this." Moriah quickly ran up against
Kate and ran back.

"Huh?  What just -- " Kate looked down to see all of her items and money lying
on the ground.

"Now just sit there, and be quiet."

Kate was suddenly quiet as she picked up her stuff, and then--"Wai! Shiny!" said Kate
as she moved the raft in the direction of the shiny object.

"What are you doing Kate?" Scott screamed, "Are you trying to knock us off course?"

"Oops," Kate said, "I didn't know I could move the raft like that."

"Great, now we're headed down the wrong path." Scott whined.

"I'd like to remind you both that there is only one path down this river," said Lucia,
very calmly, "And only I'm suppose to be moving the raft."

"Sorry."

"No problem. But it looks like we'll run into a few more enemies before the Man
Scorpion then..."

Kate whispered to Scott, "What's a man scorpion?"  Scott shrugged.

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

The D&D heroes rushed across the open ground.

"Hurry up Damien, you're lagging behind," said Dan.

"I'd probably run a lot faster if all of you weren't on top of me right now."

"Maybe we should've fed you those greens back there..." responded Ardweden.

"I am *NOT* a chocobo!"

Suddenly a large, metal train came rushing by carrying with it, one boss monster,
a few hundred goblins, twelve hell hounds, a few chests, and little hidden
compartments for all the hidden Axe Gnolls to jump down out of nowhere.  
Unfortunately for the heroes, they only noticed the train part.

"That's the Juggernaut.  Jump on!" called Jarred.

The D&D heroes jumped on while Damien, struggling badly due to excess weight, barely
got on to the Juggernaut.

"I hope he's alright," said Jarred.

"He'll be fine," said Dan, "He always gets better in time for us to ride on top of
him again." Damien fainted.

"Hmmm...Maybe I should whip up a Not-Get-So-Tired potion for Damien," said Steve.

"Grendlon, come here and help out this mascot!" called Jarred to the cleric known as
Grendlon. Grendlon ran over and casted Cure Serious Wounds on Damien, then casted
Bless and Striking on all of the party memebers.

"Man, are we shiny," said Ardweden, "Kate would've enjoyed this."  And indeed, Kate
would've enjoyed this as the entire party was now blinking bright orange like a
circle of very bright orange christmas lights set on "blink" mode. And if you don't
like that analogy, then they could've very well been blinking like the 8 stringed
lights on Steve Wozniak's primitive version of a home computer which could only
turn those 8 lights on and off repeatedly. And if you don't -- WHAP!

(The author has just been hit with a large, blunt object to prevent the horrible,
horrible build up of unneccessary analogies. And now back to the story.)

"To the front of the train people!  We've got to stop this train before it passes
up Aengmore!" yelled Jarred who quickly started running ahead.

The destined heroes quickly got up and started running after the golden fighter when
Grendlon and Dimsdale got in the way.
"Take your time...Aengmore's a 10 hour ride. Jarred just likes being in the lead."
Dimsdale ...ed in agreement.

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

"Wow, there sure are a lot of enemies floating on the river!" said Kate, as she
threw her shurikens, knocking down three Troglodytes.

"This is why we generally avoid fights on the river." said Lucia, float-slashing
a Trog.

"It's also why we let her steer." said Moriah, pulling out another LB ring out of
nowhere.

"Where are you getting those things anyway?" asked Scott, "I've only seen two of
those during the whole river ride!  I need some of those!"

"Just wait until the Man Scorpion fight.  You'll be glad I have them." she said,
while pulling out a PO ring.

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

The party looked at all the dead disappearing carcasses in front of them as they
strolled along.

"Jarred seems to do a good job at killing things," said Steve, "If I was still a
sidekick, maybe I'd use his power..."

"And you would've ended up badly injured due to wearing all that heavy armor."
responded Ardweden, "Besides, you're actually worth something now.  You're a
chemist."

"Yeah," said Dan, "You can actually help us now."

"I know, but..." Steve drooped her head, "...just talking about my new powers
makes me feel like I'm about to lose them all..."

Damien perked his head up as he sensed the large ominous cloud of foreshadowing
behind the party. 

"You alright Damien?" said Grendlon, "You look like you felt something."

Damien looked behind him and turned back around. "I guess it was nothing."

Meanwhile, Illyria and Dimsdale were having a noteworthy conversation:
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...."
"...?"
"...."
Okay, so not so noteworthy...
Damien broke the silence. "You two don't talk very much do you?"
Illyria and Dimsdale looked at Damien.
"..." ...ed both of them.
Damien looked down again, as Aengmore was brought into sight.

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

Moriah read the sign, 'Keep going. Don't turn back.'

"What do you mean we can't turn back?" exclaimed Kate, who took a step backwards
"See, I can --"

Suddenly the screen turned dark as twelve rocks fell on top of Kate's head.

"Ow."

"Don't go against any of the signs," said Lucia, "These signs are omniscent of the
world around them.  Besides, you need all the life you can get against the Man
Scorpion."

"May we ask what a Man Scorpion is?" said Scott.

"Well," started Moriah, "You know what a man is.  You know what a scorpion is. Now
take a giant scorpion and a man, cross them, add a scythe, and you get--"
Suddenly the hill of rocks collapsed behind them and a giant scorpion popped out,
except where there was suppoed to be a scorpion's head, there was a man's torso
carrying a very large, menacing scythe.
"--that."

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

"..."
"...!"
"...."
"...?"
Suddenly,
"Would you two shut up already?!" yelled Grendlon.  Everyone ...ed.

"Hey, uh, guys?" called Jarred from the front of the train, "I could use some help
up here!"
And indeed he could, for at the front of the train lies a very large monster.  And
I do mean large.  Large as in off the top of the screen large.  Large as in godzilla
large. Large as in high mass physics teachers...

WHAP!

(The author has once again been whapped on the head for using too many analogies
and bringing into account the high mass physics teachers.)

Anyway, this very large monster, currently had Jarred lifted up into the air being
continuously shocked by a stream of electricity, while choking him and compressing
his bones to the point where they no longer could support his weight.

"HELP!" cried Jarred, using the last of his breath.  Quickly the rest of the party
jumped into battle, Dimsdale quickly executing a 12 hit slice combo with his axe
knocking Jarred out of the Dark Warrior's grasps.  Grendlon quickly picks up Jarred
and uses the best of his healing skills to aid him, while Steve whips up a few more
potions for battle wounds. And Damien hid, not that there was anywhere to hide on
the train, but because he's just not in the battle.

"...!"
"...!"
Illyria and Dimsdale used a crossed blade attack doing a decent amount of damage to
the Dark Warrior.

"Large Overly-powered Gravitational Shockwave attack!" cried Dan, as he shot a wave
that disrupted the space around it at the very large monster. The monster shouted in
pain.
"Generic Ki Projectile Attack!" The wave knocked the large beast down. And the beast
disintegrated into many shades of red.
"Well, that was easy." said Dan, obviously too soon.
The large monster reappeared right behind Dan, and shot an electric wave in all
directions. Ardweden quickly rolled out of the way. Grendlon, Steve, Damien, and
Jarred were all too far for the attack. Dan was not so lucky. Fortunately for Dan--
"Alright! A free recharge!"--his suit seemed to like the energy boost that the Dark
Warrior provided.
"Pink Shaker Fist!" cried Dan, as he balled his hand into a fist.  His whole body
generated a pink aura as he brought up his right forearm--
"Oosha!"
--and taunted. The rest of the party sweatdropped. Dan quickly rolled backward.
And the rest of the party watched in awe as Dan initialized a thumbs up pose,
and the floor beneath the Dark Warrior immediately turned into a heat volcano,
burning 87% of the Dark Warrior's life away, and launching him up into the sky.
Dan rolled back into place, as a large flashing "Press Start" sign appeared over
his head.  As the large beast fell back to the ground, Dan quickly raised his 
forearm in taunt again, only to have the monster bounce of his hand in a very
flashy explosion and fly across the train. This time, the Dark Warrior went 
down for good.
"Oosha! Who's the man?" said Dan, as he went rolling around the train car.
Thanks to a little help from the rest of the party, Dan rolled right off the
train car.

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

"TOPAZ BEASTLY WAI SCREAM PROTECTIVE COSMIC WAI DEMON FEATHER WAI SLAP!"
Scott initiated the first attack upon the Man Scorpion. Among other flashy lighting
things that accompany all magical girl attacks, a very large topaz armor wearing,
cosmic, beast-looing, wai demon, screamed "WAI" as it slapped the Man Scorpion with
a feather from a wai-ing bird. (Don't know what a wai demon or a wai-ing bird are?
Neither do I. Just another detail you'll have to imagine.) While it looked very
flashy at the time, it had no effect on the Man Scorpion.
(It did however cause 27 children in Japan to have seizures due to the fact that the
summoning was also reflected off of Pikachu's eyes for 6 minutes.)

"Burning Fire Column!"
Kate pulled out her ninja scroll, and a torando of fire wrapped itself around the
Man Scorpion.  But just like David Copperfield's Tornado of Fire (tm), it was just
a cheap effect where the eye of the storm was so large that it could contain a man
scorpion in the middle, without being burned a little bit.

"Are you two finished?" said Moriah, leaning against the mountain, yawning.
"Lucia, take care of that scythe."

Lucia raised her hands into the air. "Ice Storm!" The Man Scorpion became frozen 
instantaneously.

"Alright, my turn." Moriah said as she pulled out one of many LB rings and pointed it
at the Man Scorpion. Moriah then said some undecipherable word and the LB ring shot
lightning at the Man Scorpion, taking off a good chunk of its life.  Then she pulled
out another one and did it again.  And again.  It looked like it was going to be an
easy victory.  Then, a troglodyte popped out of nowhere, and landed right behind Moriah.
Moriah tried to pull out a PO ring but instead accidentally pulled out a CSW ring,
allowing the Man Scorpion to get off one attack.

"Moriah, watch out for the Petrify beam!" yelled Lucia, as she tried to get to Moriah.
But the warning was too late, Moriah was hit with the petrify beam. She had one last
chance to save herself, but she wasn't able to wriggle herself free fast enough.
Soon her whole body became petrified and her lifebar was drained.

"That's it -- Go Leaves Go!" cried Lucia, as the leaves around her lifted themselves
into the air and ripped apart the Man Scorpion. Then she fireballed the now down Man
Scorpion until its lifebar was drained.
It soon became time to mourn another loss in the party...

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

Ah, Aengmore.  City of big flying vessels in the sky and millions upon millions of 
merchants.  That was, until the great evil of Synn took over the city.  Now scarcely
a soul remains in the big city.  Of course, that didn't stop the master merchant there
from having 13,000 airships at his disposal, which would soon come into play of 
destroying a dark fiend that threatened to come out of the ground.  But that happens
later. Right now, the heroes arrived on the Juggernaut.

"Boy, those 10 hour rides go right on by, don't they!" said Damien jumping off the
train who, of course, had disappeared for 9 hours and 48 minutes of it when the
fighting started. The rest of the party was completely bored out of their wits due to
the fact that after they defeated the Dark Warrior, they still had around 5 hours to
go.

Even Dimsdale and Illyria's conversation was getting slow:
"..." --pause--
"..." --pause--

The only person at that moment who really had anything to talk about was Dan, who if
you remember was dropped off the traincar.

"Hey, next time, when I'm about to fall off of a speeding traincar, could you please
tell me!"

"Well, next time, don't roll around taunting." replied Ardweden, who was 75%
responsible for Dan's falling off of the traincar.

Suddenly, the pink man who saw them off at Trinta popped out of the river--

"Oosha!"

--and went back down again. Another worthless scene.

Then, the heroes arriving by river finally got into town.

"Finally! We've been waiting for 9 minutes!" said Jarred, "Why are you so late today
Lucia?"

"Well someone," started Lucia, giving a glare to Kate, who was happily admiring some
of the shinier objects in the sky, "knocked us off course.  Plus we were carrying
some extra weight..."

"Extra we--oh my god!" yelled Jarred, as he stared with disbelief at the petrified
Moriah.

"How did that happen?" asked Grendlon as Jarred quickly went to haggle some townspeople
about an extra quarter.

"Well, our attacks did nothing against the boss..." said Kate, twiddling her fingers.

"And she was hit from behind by a Troglodyte," finished Lucia.

"Great googley moogley!  How could she die?!" screamed Jarred, still in disbelief.

"Well she was a thie--" started Scott.

"But how could she die?! It's physically impossible!" yelled Jarred, "She was glitching,
she was invincible, how could she die?!"

Grendlon and Dimsdale tried to calm down the emotionally unstable Jarred.

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

Later that evening, Dan wanted to know more about this "glitching" that Moriah preformed

"What do you mean she was glitching?" asked Dan to Lucia.

"She was using something that made her almost invincible and potentially unstoppable...
unfortunately a petrify beam was the one thing that could kill her instantly."

"Is that where all those rings were coming from?"

"Yes. She had so many of them, they were near endless."

"And her being unstoppable?"

"She was still phased by attacks, but she didn't lose any life unless they grabbed
her."

Dan was going to ask her one more question, when he decided against it.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The scream came from Steve's direction.

"Steve, are you alright?" asked Dan.

"Man, I had this strange dream that we were fighting aginst what looked like YelirRm
and I lost all my powers."

--- ---

Outside, in the chocobo den, Damien perked his head up again at the ominous cloud
of foreshadowing.

"This time, I know I felt something."

--- ---

"Steve, you have the strangest dreams.  Go to sleep."

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

"Did you guys sense anything outside last night?" asked Damien.

"What are you talking about Damien?" replied Ardweden.

"Your not turning into another Steve, are you?" questioned Dan.

"Hey!  Those dreams are very improtant to half the jokes in this sto--" Whap!
Ardweden hit Steve on the head. 
"What was that for?"

"Fourth wall, Steve."

"Oh, right."

Jarred entered the room from the door on the right.
"Hello everyone.  I'm sorry for my emotional outbursts yesterday."

"So when are we leaving?" asked Dan.

"Just a few minutes.  Me and my party will go off to the store.  We'll be back
in 30 seconds. Your party should go ahead and meet the master merchant."

--- ---

When they found the master merchant's abode, Steve unknowingly walked in first.

"Ah, at last you have come!" greeted the master merchant as he saw Steve coming
through the door.

"So Jarred, you need an --" the master merchant squinted, "Wait a minute! You aren't
Jarred! Guards!"

Steve was instantly surrounded by 27 guards who were carrying very large rifle.
Steve was then held up by her neck.

"Who are you? Are you one of Synn's spies? Why do you wear that funny looking coat?..."
interrogated the master merchant.
Dan finally decided to try and save the comic relief.

"Um,  excuse me?"

The master merchant spun. "Ah, you must be Dan, the person that Jarred told me about.
Sorry about the mess right now," he glanced in Steve's direction, "We'll have that
spy taken care of right now."

"Well, actually...She's one of my party."

"Oh, really?" the master merchant sat down in his chair, "Then make yourself at home.
We'll wait for Jarred to arrive."
--- ---
"Excuse...me..." squeaked Steve.

"What is it, Steve?" asked Ardweden, examining the latest issue of Dancing Scotsmen
Monthly.

"Guard...still...choking...need...air..." And indeed, the guard had not removed his
hand from Steve's throat.  She would have been saved, if it wasn't for Jarred and his
party walking in, turning Ardweden's attention.

"I see you have been acquainted with the master merchant," spoke Jarred.

"Yes, but we are ready to leave..." started Dan.

"As soon as possible!" exclaimed Kate, "I want to know what the 'really cool' thing
is!"

"Didn't Odan say something about something 'really cool'?" Ardweden thought to
herself, "Something about a stone..."

Outside, Damien looked up at the smaller cloud of foreshadowing that appeared above
Ardweden.

"Damien," Grendlon said, "You seem to be very distracted during this journey. Is
there something we should know?"

"Well, there seem to be a lot of clouds of foreshadowing appearing in this chapter..."

"Clouds of foreshadowing? Do you know what he's talking about Dimsdale?"
Dimsdale shakes his head.

"Sorry, Damien.  I can't help you."

"Well, all this extra sensory perception stuff is giving me a headache."

"Don't worry about that.  I'm sure some author will stop mentioning it in his
chapter."

Damien looked up at the cloud of foreshadowing appearing over Grendlon's head.

--- ---

"So let's get moving then," said Jarred, "To Aengmore!"

"Wait, I thought we are in Aengmore," puzzled Dan.

"We are."

"Yet we are going to Aengmore."

"Yes."

"But we're in Aengmore."

"Correct. Now, shall we be off?" Jarred walks outside towards the airship,
followed by the rest of the AD&D heroes.

"But..."

"Come on, Dan!" said Kate as she jumped aboard.

(Note: For those of you who are wondering, Aengmore is both the name of a city and a
country.  They are flying from the city of Aengmore into the country of Aengmore.
That and I had read my reference wrong.)
--- ---
On the Airship:

"Hey guys, do you feel like we're missing something?" asked Ardweden.

"It feels like we're missing something important..." said Dan.

Suddenly they all turned towards each other and screamed, "Oh my god! Steve!"

And there Steve was, barely alive, limp in the hand of the guard who was still in
the process of choking the sidekick.

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

"This is as near as we can take you to Sable Tower without going off course," said
Jarred as the airship landed.

The destined heroes looked around.

"I don't see a tower," said Steve.

"Well, to get to the tower," began Jarred, "you must first rescue a person from the 
clutches of YelirCRm."

"But we defeated YelirRm already."

"Yes, you did.  But YelirCRm is a different boss."

"Yeah, Steve," said Kate, "Like in old RPGs, how they put a new color palette on an
old enemy and added a letter."

"Oh."

"This man will take you to Nayrbtown," Jarred continued, "from which you can get to
Sable Tower.  Now we must be off."  The airship quickly shot up into the sky and headed
towards the skies above Aengmore, where it would eventually crash land.  But that comes
later.

"Where do you suppose the cave is?" asked Dan, using the binoculars on his belt, "I don't
see anything for miles.  This place is a barren wasteland."

Suddenly, a purple fiend dressed in black armor phased in to space right next to
the heroes.

"Ah ha!" shouted the fiend, "I have found you at last Jarred!" he said pointing at Steve.

"But I'm not--" the fiend quickly phased in front of Steve and interrupted her by grabbing
Steve's neck.

"Remember me Jarred?" said the purple fiend, "I am Tel'Arin and now--"
Tel'Arin lifts Steve up and down a bit. "Hm.  You seemed to have lost a lot of weight
since the last time I saw you.  Plus, you're a foot shorter."

"That's...because...I'm not...Jarred..." Steve squeaks.  Tel'Arin brings out his notebook,
and bifocals and studies Steve's face.

"Hmm..." Tel'Arin looks around, "This isn't the Airship is it?  Well, sorry." the purple
fiend lets go of Steve and phases away.

"Well, that didn't help." said Dan.

"What about that on the ground?" pointed Scott.  On the ground was a piece of notebook
paper from Tel'Arin's notebook.  It was noticeably marked in large bold letters 'Map
to Cave'. Dan picked it up and took out his magnifying glass.

"Hmmm...Take 1 step forward."  The group followed him.

"Then 1 step back." The group took a step back.

"Then take 1 step forward." The group step forward.

"And shake it all about." The group (sans Dan) facefaulted.

"...Ah, here are the right instructions.  First we go off that way 50 paces..."

--- ---

"...And walk this way 10 paces."

"I don't see a cave, Dan," said Ardweden.

"Look! Footsteps!" Steve exclaimed as she looked at the thousands of footprints in the
ground.

"Hey, maybe we can follow these foot steps and find the cave," said Dan.  The group
followed the footsteps of those who had come before them.

--- ---

"Haven't we seen this place before?" asked Steve.

"..." ...ed Illyria.

"Guess your right."

--- ---

After following the footsteps for hours, Damien finally decided to look down.

"Wait a minute...We're going in circles!" he exclaimed.

"Well, how do you know that?" asked Steve.

"Who else around here would have bird feet?"

"A chocobo maybe?" Everyone (but Damien) ignored this remark. Dan took out the map
again and looked at it.

"Leave it up to a newbie author to give us a map that doesn't work."

Kate looked suspiciously at the back of the map.

"Dan?"

"Yes, Kate?"

"Did you try looking at the back of the map?"

Dan flipped over the directions.  On it was a fairly easily followed map.  A straight
line pointing West.

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

After following the map, the heroes finally did not make it to the cave.

"We're lost! We're all going to die out here and..." whined Scott in the background.

"How could we have messed up going in a straight line?" asked Dan.

"Yeah, and our transport is getting tired." said Ardweden, as she looked at the tired
mascot.

"Why...can't...you guys... ride Dan?" said Damien between heavy breaths.

"Hey look! A sign!" exclaimed Kate.

"Where?" said Steve as she looked up into the sky.

"Not that kind of sign! Over there!" Kate pointed to a green signpost marked with
dark blue paint.

"'Nayrb Shack / Supplies / Chocobo Greens / Directions to Cave'," read Ardweden,
"...Interesting."

"But I don't see a shack around here," said Dan.

"What about that one?" asked Damien.  He pointed towards a wooden shack only a
few feet away from where the group currently was.

"How did we not see that?" asked Steve, "The entire ground is flat!  We should've
seen that a mile away!"

"Maybe its one of those things that the author decided to add when no one was
looking," answered Damien.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Anyway," started Dan, "We should probably stock up on supplies while we're here,
who knows how far the cave is."

--- ---

"Hi," said the shopkeeper, "How can I help you?" The shopkeeper looked quite like
an anime character, had he a spikier haircut, big round eyes, no nose, and been
superdeformed.  In short, he looked Asian.

"Hmmm..." said Dan, "Your name is Nayrb, right?"

"Correct. Nayrb Keeper"

"And so you probably come from Nayrbtown."

"True."

"Could you direct us to it?"

"Well, I could actually..."

"Really?"

"...if I knew which way to go." (Note: At this point, most faulting will be kept
from being mentioned in the chapter. It's cluttered enough already.)

"Well, then I would like some directions to the cave."

"50 meseta."

"Sorry all out."

"250 rupees?"

"Nope, sorry."

"3140 gold coins?"

"Don't have that much."

"250 nuggets?"

--- ---

An hour later:

"39 digi-dollars?"

"Nope."

"25 million Yen?"

"Nope."

"5 seals?"

"No...Wait, I have 5 of those!" Dan pulled out 5 of the Seals of Magruffin from his pocket.

"Dan!" Ardweden rushed up just in time, "What do you think you're doing? We still need
those!"

"Oh, right." He quickly stuffed them back into his pocket.

"Do you happen to have American Express?"

"Yeah." Dan pulls his card from his pocket. "How much is it going to cost?"

"Sorry, I don't accept American Express."

"Look, is there anyway I can get it without money?"

"Well...If you can beat me in a game of Nim, I'll let you have them."

"Nim?"

"It's quite popular in Nayrbtown.  It's a game played with 13 stones..." Suddenly, Kate
bursted in.

"Ooh!  Mini-game!  Let me play!" Dan stood aside as the happy ninja listened closely.

Nayrb continued, "It's a game played with 13 stones.  We each take turns taking away 1, 2,
or 3 stones away from the pot. Whoever has to pick up the last stone loses."

"Okay! Let's play!"

"Fine.  Since you're a beginner, I'll let you go first."

(-Start Triple Triad Game Music-)
(-Match 1-)
Kate : 1 stone .12 stones left.
Nayrb: 3 stones. 9 stones left.
Kate : 2 stones. 7 stones left.
Nayrb: 2 stones. 5 stones left.
Kate : 3 stones. 2 stones left.
Nayrb: 1 stone . 1 stone  left.
Kate : has lost the match.
(-End Match-)
(-End Triple Triad Game Music-) (Thank god!)

"Hey," exclaimed Kate, "you cheated!"

"I never cheat.  I'm just good," boasted the shopkeeper.

"Let me try again then."

"Fine, you can go first again since you lost."

"Alright.  Just don't turn on the music this time."

(-Match 2-)
Kate : 3 stones.10 stones left.
Nayrb: 1 stone . 9 stones left.
Kate : 1 stone . 8 stones left.
Nayrb: 3 stones. 5 stones left.
Kate : 2 stones. 3 stones left.
Nayrb: 2 stones. 1 stone  left.
Kate : has lost the match.
(-End Match-)

"You lost again. Dammo, eh Clyfartha?"

"Clyfartha?"

"Oh, you haven't met Nayrb Clyfartha yet, have you?  He's over there in the corner."
An exact clone of the shopkeeper waved from the corner.

"Figures..."

"Would you like to try again?" asked the shopkeeper.

--- ---
(-Match 32-)
Kate : 2 stones.11 stones left.
Nayrb: 2 stone . 9 stones left.
Kate : 3 stone . 6 stones left.
Nayrb: 1 stones. 5 stones left.
Kate : 3 stones. 2 stones left.
Nayrb: 1 stones. 1 stone  left.
Kate : has lost the match.
(-End Match-)

Kate begun to feel frustrated.  She had to try her secret weapon.

"Would you like to play some Quadruple Bypass?"

"Quadruple Bypass, eh?"

--- ---

"And a Dai Bando card on top of the Green Valley square gives me the victory by the
strangely named Welsch people rule!" boasted Nayrb.

"Man, how is he beating Kate in Quadruple Bypass?" asked Steve.

"...!" ...ed Illyria.

"I know what you mean."

--- ---

Kate was now sitting in the corner of the room with her hands in front of her face.

"What did you do to her, Keeper?" asked Clyfartha.

"I won all her cards."

"Dammo, eh myself?"

"Exactly."

"Could you please just give us the directions now?" asked Dan.

"Sure.  I don't really need these, so give them back to her." Nayrb hands Dan the
pile of Quadruple Bypass cards.

"So where's the cave."

"Is it a dark one?"

"Supposedly, yes."

"Has YelirCRm in it?"

"Yeah."

"Contains spooky clowns?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Someone there to rescue?"

"Yes."

"From the clutches of YelirCRm?"

"Exactly."

"Are you sure there's no spooky clowns?"

"Yes."

"Is it that cave?" Nayrb said pointing out the window. Outside his window, back
from where the heroes had come from was a large, dark, cave with no spooky clowns
in it, with a large 'Welcome to the YelirCRm dungeon!' neon sign on it.

"How come we didn't see that earlier?" thought Dan. Kate turned around with her
vein popping out of her forehead in anime-like style.

"YOU MEAN YOU MADE ME GO THROUGH ALL THAT TO FIND OUT THE CAVE WAS 5 YARDS AWAY?!"

"Um...Yes?" squeaked Nayrb Keeper.  Kate smiled with unusual maliciousness.

--- ---

"Ready to go yet, Kate?" called Dan.

"One more knot...that should do it."

"Hey, wait a minute!  This is cruel and unusual punishment!" cried the shopkeeper
as he was hung upside down from the top of his shack. 

"This is what you get for cheating."

"But I wasn't --" Nayrb was cut off by a sock being shoved down his throat. The
heroes walked off towards the cave.

"...Dahmmoh, aye Clyfathfa?"

"Eh, Keeper."

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

The heroes were deep inside the cavern.  It was very dark, despite the fact that
there were lanterns everywhere.

"It's almost as if some force was so strong, that light is being drawn to it..."
said Dan.

"Like a black hole?" asked Steve.

"No.  Rather the avatar of high mass physics teachers."

"Same thing."

Then the group finally reached the end of the cavern.  Instead of a boss, it was
a dead end.

"..."

"Your right, Illyria," said Dan, "Nayrb must've given us the wrong cave."

"All that's here is this picture of a door in the wall..." examined Ardweden.

"...Wait a minute!" Dan exclaimed knocking down the picture of a door in the wall,
"There's a door in the wall behind the picture of a door in the wall!"

"..."

--- ---

On the other side of the door in the wall behind the picture of a door in the wall,
lay what looked like a corner in some hallway. Some hallway that looked like it
belonged to a school. Some hallway that curved in such a way that it made it look
like a "B".  Some hallway that was disconnected from the rest of the school that 
made it a 'wing'.
(Note: I am insured that barely anyone will understand or enjoy most of the jokes
in this next section. For that, I will add in my author's notes a special section
explaining parts of the jokes.)

In front of the heroes were two doors.  The one on the left marked B-27.  On the
right it was marked B-26.

"What do you think the numbers mean, Illyria?" asked Steve.

"..."

"That's what I thought."

"Quiet you two!" Ard whispered, "We want to surprise attack YelirCRm so we get
first strike."

Dan got up next to the door.  He counted down with his fingers and the group of
heroes broke the door down unsheathe their mightiest weapons and got ready to attack.

Unfortunately B-26 was the wrong door.

"Dang it, lost another 'ZIG'!" exclaimed the Nayrbian playing on the computer,
"And he's still not here yet.  Oh well..."

"Excuse me..." begun Ard.  The Nayrbian turned around.

"Hi," said the Nayrbian, "I'm Nayrb Gamer.  Who are you guys?"

"Is this the room of YelirCRm?" asked Kate.

"No. Actually it's the room for YelirRm.  You guys haven't seen him around, have you?"

"Err...No..." she said shifting her eyes around.

"Well, anyway YelirCRm is in the next room.  Marked B-27."

"Ok.  Thank you."  The heroes turned to leave.

"By the way, if you see a guy in pink rolling around, tell him he's late for the game
of Captain Commando."

"Um...Right."

--- ---

The heroes once again set up for their surprise attack against YerlirCRm.

"Do you think he heard us inside YelirRm's room?" asked Steve.

Suddenly, the hallway was blasted with horrible, horrible sound coming through
the walls.

"Argh, Folk Music!!" cried Dan, as the heroes held their hands to their ears trying
to block out the annoying sound of banjos and harpsichords.  The heroes unconciously
ran into YelirCRm's room for cover from the music.

"I am evil...EVIL!!"

The heroes looked up at the boss now before them.

"You will never escape my room alive!" cried the avatar of high molality chemistry
teachers.

Illyria immediately sprung forward in an amazing flurry of slashes and thrusts with
his sword. All of which had no effect as the sword bounced off the mass of YelirCRm.

"CESIUM MISSLE!" Dan fired his large missle at the boss.

"Dihydrogen Monoxide!" YelirCRm tossed a flask at Dan's missle, which made it explode
in midair.

"Death Death Sharp Punch!" Ard flies at YelirCRm with amazing speed, extends her
right hand to create an air pocket that forms a sharp point, and crashes into a 
metal plate held by the boss.

"Ha,ha,ha,ha...Titanium plate." He then tosses it out like a premium sign
smashing Illyria into the floor.

"ICE WAI CONSTELLATION WAI TORNADO WAI GLOW PSYCHIC LINE WAI HOLY WAI WAI
FIRE FLARE WAI PHEONIX --breath-- WAI PRIESTESS CRIMSON WAI WAI WINGS SHINY
CRYSTAL WAI WAI CLAW HEROIC WAI WAI RAINBOW FEATHER WAI --breath-- 
DEMONIC GOLDEN WAI BULLET!!!" Scott's hand swung out at the final words.

Here's a list of things that happened:
1. First the bullet has the elemental ICE
2. The wai-ing constellation of the wai tornado lights up in the sky eminating a
   nice wai sound to all.
3. Someone calls Miss Cleo only to get the answer 'wai'. (Or maybe it was 'why')
4. The bullet is blessed by the wai priest using the blessing of wai
5. The wai fire flare sparks as the wai-ing pheonix is reincarnated.
6. Scott takes a breath due to the amazing length of the said attack.
7. The wai priestess 'wai's in red, instead of yellow.
8. The wai wings bring the shiny wai-ing crystal of wai to wai the claw of wai.
9. A hero 'wai's to call the wai-ing rainbow which brings the feather of wai.
10.Scott takes another breath.
11.A demon removes the blessing of the wai priest.
12.Scott shoots a golden wai bullet from his hand.
   Similar to the gadoken of the 'Golden Boy' Dan Hibiki.

Ultimate Effect: Scott takes two breaths. Fires a golden bullet that goes 5 inches
from the palm of her hand and connects with nothing. 25 children in Japan get seizures
from the shiny crystal reflecting off of Pikachu's equally shiny eyes.  3 die from
over-exposure. 12 are still critical.

"The universe really hates me."

Kate takes out her Fire Scroll, "Fire arrows!"  Arrows of fire sprung forth and
launched themselves at the boss.

"Magnesium strip!" YelirCRm tosses a Magnesium strip into the fire arrows, causing
the whole room to flash with a bright white light blinding the heroes.  This gave him
the chance to concentrate for his next attack.

"This guy's impossible to beat!" cried Dan.

"Well we've beat his clone before," reasoned Ardweden, "Let's just pull our attacks
together and beat him!"

Before they could launch their next wave attacks, YelirCRm pulled off his
devestation attack.

"Equilibrium!"

Suddenly Kate, Scott, Illyria, and Ardweden disappeared.

"What happened to them?!" yelled Steve, "They all disappeared into thin air!"

The two remaining heroes looked in front of them.

"Evil...EVIL!!!"

Using his evil equilibrium of weight, YelirCRm changed 4 of the heroes into another
one of himself.  The two heroes were stunned, allowing the boss to get off his next
attack.

"Evil Video Attack!"

--- ---

Steve woke up. She was strapped to a desk.

"Ugh...Huh?  Where am I?"

Suddenly a TV screen flashed in front of her.  A large man stood next to it.
The man pressed the play button on the VCR.

"And now, published from the University of Illinois comes...
(Sound scary music)
'The Chemistry is a Bitch Project'
starring Professor I.M. Boring."

The picture blanked out.  Then there was a man on the screen holding a large packet
of papers.  The background was very non-descript.  The man himself was wearing a
color of brown that induced boredom.  He started reading off the pages in front of
him.

"Hello. (turns page) My name is (turns page) Professor I. (turns page)
M. (turns page) Bor- (turns page) ing. (turns page) Today, we will talk about
(turns page) Nu-cle-air (turns page) Fusion (turns page) and Nu-cle-air Fission
(turns page)..."

Steve's reaction was not so good.

"Too boring...Basic knowledge...leaking out of head..."

"...To achieve (turns page) Nu-cle-air (turns page) Fusion, (turns page)
you must first have (turns page) two (turns page) mole- (turns page) -eh-
(turns page) -cules (turns page)..."

Steve passed out.

--- ---

"Steve! Steve! Wake up!" cried Dan as he was being assailed by mixtures of
Sodium and water.

"Huh? Did I have a nightmare again?" Steve said drowsily.

"That Evil Video Attack really knocked you out.  You passed out on the floor."

"Evil...Video..."

"Steve! Snap out of it! I need your chemical knowledge!"

"Ugh...chemistry...can't think...too boring..."  Steve passed out on the floor again.

Dan looked around.  The chemist was passed out the floor.  The mascot outside.  The
ninja, bishounen, martial artist and magical girl all gone.  All that was left was the
two YelirCRms and himself.  The only thing standing between him and death was the 33
megatons of firepower and the 5 Megavolts still left in his pack.  No rechargers, no
fenix down.

"God damn I'm screwed."

The whole room started to go into a fight style scene, similar to those in Hong Kong
Blood Operas and Max Payne, where Dan dived and flew out of the way of chemical
explosions, often times in slow motion where you could see the fragments of glass
just barely missing him, whlie he launched 5 times more missiles at the enemies than
he would in real time. It was quite a site to see, but it was over within minutes.  
He probably could've taken one, but two YelirCRms were just too much for one person.

Dan suddenly had an idea.

"I call upon the forces of GnowRm!"

All the boss did was laugh.

"Why didn't it work?"

"The forces of GnowRm do not affect me," said YelirCRm, "Chemistry is not affected by the
powers of Calculus."  The boss laughed in his evilest voice possible.

"Psst...You need some help?" Dan turned his head to the corner, where Nayrb Gamer had just
been taken prisoner.

"What could you do?"

"Ekal...EKAL!"

"Equal?  I just called on GnowRm."

"Not Equal but Ekal!  Call upon the forces of EkalRm!"

Suddenly, a rather tall man with gray hair, glasses, and no outstanding attributes
walked in.

"Excuse me, YelirCRm?  Since YelirRm seems to be missing, I'm restructuring you to teach
physics instead of chemistry."

"What?!" The face upon YelirCRm's face had become ghastly. "This cannot be!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"  The party popped back into existance as the boss faded
away.  (Steve however did not instantaneously get better, and remained passed out on
the floor.) Dan turned to the now freed Nayrb.

"How long did you know you could do that?"

"About half of a year." Dan increased in anger.

"Why did you wait until the last minute to tell us this?"

"Well, without a YelirRm, I get to play Zero Wing all day." Dan exploded.

--- ---

"So who was it were suppose to rescue in here anyway?" asked Ard, "There doesn't seem
to be anything left."

"Maybe the author completely forgot," reasoned Steve.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Suddenly, out of a white mist appearing from the back room of YelirCRm, and a person
popped out.

"It's Xellos!" the group exclaimed.

And indeed, the person did look like an exact clone of Xellos with a different color
palette drawn on him.

"Hello," the man said, "My name is --" (dramatic pose, pause, and close up on him looking
very sly and devious while playing mystery music)"-- Damole!" (pause)

"The mole?" asked Kate.

"Ah!" Damole looked devious, scared, nervous, and frightful all at once. He started
talking really fast. "Who-told-you-that-I-was-the-mole?!"

The group blinked at him.

"Didn't you just tell us that you were the mole?"

"Oh," said Damole looking partially relieved (but still devious and nervous), "then you 
misheard me.  My name is --" (dramatic stuff...right)"--Damole!"(pause) This time he
changed his accent to stress "da" rather than "the". The group figured that it was just
a coincidence.

"So what do you do, Damole?" asked Ard.

"Well, among normal fighting skills, I can dig tunnels, plant explosive devices, steal,...
do just about everything a turncoat could do...plus, I'm a really great trader..."

"Traitor?" misheard Kate.

"Ah! Who-told-you-that-I-was-the-traitor?!"

"Didn't you just tell us you were a traitor?"

"Oh, then you misheard me again. I said trader."  This time making it an "er" rather than
an "or".

"Ummm...so you can get us to Nayrbtown correct?"

"Yep.  Stole err...found those direction yesterday."

"Right." The girls in the group rolled their eyes.

--- ---

"What took you guys so long?" asked Dan, who was waiting outside with Damien.

"Well, we had to get acquainted with the new guy." Ard pointed to Damole.

Dan looked at him for a couple of seconds. "Xellos?"

"Actually," started Damole, "my name is --" Ard put his hand over his mouth before
he could start posing.

"Let's do this later."

"Fine."

Then a sock fell from the sky.

"Hey, you guys can't just leave me up here!" cried the Nayrb Gamer hanging upside down
from the neon sign on top of the cave.

"How'd you get the sock out of your mouth?" asked Dan.

"Let me down!  Let me down!  I still have two more 'ZIG's left! I can still beat--"

"Ah, much better," said Dan, who had just launched the sock back into Nayrb's mouth with
the wrist rocket launcher attachment he had just found, "Now, shall we continue to 
Nayrbtown?"

The group left the cave, and headed for Nayrbtown, and one more step closer to getting off this
rather large side quest.

"...Dahmoh, A Cliefafa?"

"Eh, Gamer."

--- ---

"Steve?"  asked Illyria.

"Yes?"

"Why of all people are you asking me questions?"

"That's an easy one.  It's because the author wanted to look like he was passing time
without really ever having to give an exact answer to any one of my questions."

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

"..."

"Exactly."

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

"Damole, how long is this trip going take?" asked Dan.

"Well, that depends...How fast does your chocobo go?"

"I AM NOT A CHOCOBO!"

"Er...then what other transports do you have?"

"I do have the ATD, but if we run into an enemy..."

"Fine, I'll just hotwire that truck over there."

"What?"

--- ---

"Arg..." moaned Steve.

"Are you all right?" asked Ard.

"For some reason, I can't think of anything past a level 1 chemist."

"What does a level 1 chemist make?"

"Puny, weak stinkbombs."

"Ouch."

--- ---
After 7 hours of riding on a stolen truck, the heroes finally found Nayrbtown.
It was a quite a large place.

"Population: 49,999,989," read Dan as they passed the city limits sign.

The town consisted of a large city wall, a marketplace, and 50,000,000 houses
besides the usual Inn and shops.

"Well," said Damole, "This is where we get off."

After dislodging the back of the truck where the rest of the heroes waited,
and pushing Dan out of the passenger seat, Damole attached a stickybomb to
the truck, and leaped out. The front of the truck then crashed into the city
wall causing it to flip over and blow up in a fantastic explosion which,
reflected off of Pikachu's eyes for 5 minutes, caused several of the extras
in Nayrbtown to get seizures.

"Damole?" said Dan.

"Yes?"

"Why did you just blow up the truck when it still had 7 days of gas left in it?"

"Because...um...er...it looked really cool?  Obviously, it's not because I'm a
traitor and don't want you to advance on your journey faster."

"Right.  Now all we have to do is find the guide and to get us to the tower."

Dan instinctively walked up to the first guy in town and talked to him.

"Welcome to Nayrbtown!" said the guy.

"Figures..."

"Figures what?" said the guy.

"Wait, you can talk beyond the normal text?"

"Yeah, of course.  What did you think I was, the guy in RPGs who stands at or near 
the entrance of towns where all he says is (pretty much) the name of the city
you're in?"

"Well, yeah."

"Oh.  Anyway, my name is Nayrb Guide."

"So you're the guide?"

"Yes.  Who are you guys?"

"We're on a quest.  We need to get to Sable Tower."

"Sable?  You guys got some money?"

"If your price is anything higher than 10 gold, forget it."

"Fine...Perhaps you guys would like the tour of the town."

"How much?"

"It's free.  Plus it goes to a shop in the city that's pretty close to Sable."

"Great."

"But you'll have to listen to my boring monolouge the entire way."

--- ---

"This is the 52nd house created in Nayrbtown.  It is more identical than the other houses..."

"Say, Nayrb.  How was this place made anyway?" asked Ard, trying to stop the boring,
monotonic sound of the tour.

"Well, it all started with a pink-clad warrior.  He introduced 3 others into this world.
The 2 others were able to be like the pink one, to have special abilities including
omnipotence and darkness.  The 3rd, Nayrb, however, was reluctant and didn't join them.
When he did join however, his mind was much more unstable than his friends thought.  When
he came into this world, his mind shattered into 50 million pieces, representing small
fragments of his mind."

"But the population says 49,999,995."

"That's because there are a thief and rogue that moved away, plus, Gamer and Keeper don't
live here."

"That only accounts for four.  Who's the fifth one?"

"We don't really know."

--- ---
"And this is the 12,506,789th house that was made in Nayrbtown.  As you can
see it's much like the rest of them, the same boring color, the same boring roof..."

"Argh..." moaned Steve again.

"What is it Steve?" asked Dan.

"I still can't think of anything better than a stinkbomb."

"Man, that Evil Video Attack really messed you up."

Nayrb Guide turned around. "Hmm...Perhaps ONayrb can help you." He started to walk
in a different direction.  The group followed.

"ONayrb?  You mean like Odan?"

"Sort of.  ONayrb is more earthly than any of the gods."

"So how do you call for ONayrb?"

Suddenly, another Nayrb popped in front of them.

"Did somebody call me?"

"Actually, yes, ONayrb," said Guide, "Steve here needs your help."

"Well, than I will invite you to Nayrbhallo."  And ONayrb disappeared.

"Nayrbhallo?" asked Dan, "But I don't see any mountains around here."

"Nayrbhallo is actually that house over there."  Guide pointed to a house much like the
rest of the others.

--- ---

Steve approached ONayrb in his 'throne'.

"So, um, can you help me?"

"Help you what?"

"Get rid of the pain in my head when I think about chemistry."

"Alright.  I'll see what I can do." ONayrb started to make the room glow with a fantastic
light.  Meanwhile, Dan and Guid were talking.

"ONayrb's last name must be 'God' or something, right?"

"Actually, his name is Nayrb Xtra."

"Uh-oh."

The light stopped and Steve got up.

"That was it?"

"Yep.  The pain will never come back."

"...But now I can't think of anything to do with chemistry."

"Right.  I turned you into just a sidekick.  No pain."

"What?!"  It was Steve's turn.

--- ---

"That actually makes the house look much better," remarked Guide.

"Yeah," said Illyria.

"I'm just glad I didn't ask him to turn me back into a guy," said the now calm Steve.

"But you can't leave me up here!"  yelled ONayrb who hung upside from the top of his
house.

"Oh yes we can," replied Steve as the group walked back to the tour line.

"Dammo, Eh Clyfarfa?"

10 miles away: "Eh, ONayrb."

--- ---

"And this is where Nayrb Spielberg is directing latest movie entitled 'OWFT Chapter 31:
Towers and Shadows'.  As you can see, he is in the middle of action, let's watch."

"Hm...I wonder what this movie is about," said Dan. The rest of the party facefaulted.

"Shh..." hushed Guide "He's directing the Mr. E scene."

"Now this is where Mr.E. goes 'Foos!'ha,ha,ha, I love it when he says that, 'Foos!', ha
,ha,ha,ha well anyway, he says 'Foos!' and then he sends his 75089 bosses after the
destined yes, the destined heroes, and, then he goes 'Foos!' again, ha,ha,ha..."

On the set, playing the guys, were all Nayrbs.  However, the girls were actually girls.
Rather strange looking girls (whom I won't describe since it may be offensive), but they
were nothing like Nayrbians.

"Hey, Guide, where are all the girls coming from?" asked Kate, "I mean, Nayrb is a guy."

"Yeah, I know what you're talking about.  But he does wear pink..."

"Nayrb wears pink?"

"Huh?  Nayrb?"  Guide wakes up from a distraction. "Oh, I thought you were talking about
that guy."

Guide points to a guy wearing pink, impressing girls with his rolling taunt abilities.

"The girls around here probably come from Nayrb Fantasy."

He pointed to a guy sleeping, next to the set, producing girls from his subconcious mind.

"More than I wanted to know."

--- ---

"This is the TV store, run by Nayrb Showy."

"Ooh, TV!" exclaimed Kate, "I wonder what's on?"  Kate went into the store before anyone
else could stop her.  The group decided to follow.

"Turn it to this channel!  Change it!  Change it!"

"I guess Kate's been away from the TV for too long," said Dan.

"I could fix that," said Damole, "Just give me three minutes of distraction time."

"What?"

"Never mind.  I'll just swipe those pocket TVs then."

"What?"

-( Channel 05 )-

'And now...this is Celebrity Jeopardy!'
(The familiar jeopardy music played in the background)
'Now, from Ghettotown,USA, it's Mr. E.'
(Mr.E walks up to the first podium and his name appears on it.)

"I wondered what happened to him when we blew him up," remarked Ard.

'From Smurf Village in Canada, it's Papa Smurf.'
(The red cap wearing smurf jumped up on top of a stack of books hidden behind the podium.
Considering that he's about 3 inches tall, he just stood on the podium instead. A stage
manager moved his microphone down to his head.)

'And a crowd favorite, from Scotland, Sean Connery'
(Sean Connery walks up to his podium)

'And now, your host, Alex Trebek!'

"Good evening everyone, and...oh crap it's you again."

"Oh, Trebek," said Connery, "your mother was good to me last night.  Rohohoho!"

"Fine.  Let's get on to today's categories.  Each category to day features the word 'or'.
We have:
'Number or Letter'
'Yes or No' where you simply just say yes or no
'Your Ass or a Hole in the Ground'
'Hand or Foot'
And finally 'Republican or Democrat'...oh wait, that's for regular jeopardy, your
category is 'Hor or not a Hor'...oh god."

"(This is how Sean Connery laughs.  Really.)Rohohohoho!  How'd you get your mother
to pose for those?  Rohohohoho!"

"Okay, someone is playing a joke on me, is this...oh, really...my producers have just
told me that is a real category.  We will show you a picture of someone, and you will have
to determine wether or not it is a hor.  Let's begin.  Choose a question Mr.E."

"What this foo jibber jabbering about now?"

"Alright...Let's move on to Papa Smurf."

"Smurf will smurf smurfy smurf or smurfy smurfy smurf."

"What was that?"

"Smurf will smurf smurfy smurf or smurfy smurfy smurf."

"Right...Fine, Mr. Connery..."

"So, which number is your mother under?  Rohohohohoho!"

"(Increasingly more angry)Okay!  Fine!  My mother is a hor!"

"You admit it now Trebek?"

"Yes! Okay, now can we please get on with the show!"

"I'll take Number or Letter for $200.  Need that money to pay off your mom.  Rohohohohoho!"

"(Ignoring Connery) The answer is: The letter 'A'.  Now tell me it's a letter."

Papa Smurf's buzzer goes off.

"Yes, Papa Smurf."

"Smurfy Smurf a Smurf."

"...No, I'm sorry that's incorrect.  Anyone else?  It's obviously a letter."

Time runs out.

"...Oh, my god.  Look, Mr.E. just pick a category."

"I's a gonna pick hors for $100."

"Why don't you just take Trebek's mom for free?  Rohohohohoho!"

Back in the (sur)real world:

"Kate, change the channel," said Ardweden, "This is getting really stupid."

"Hey, there's a new anime on Channel 17!" exclaimed Kate.  

-( Channel 17 )-

'And now it's almost time for ChinDiGiPoKoMon Rancher 2000!'

"Hey, look!" said Dan, "It's Ash!"

"I guess he's trying to become a ChinDiGiPoKoMon Rancher 2000 Master now," said Ard.

"What's a ChinDigiPoKoMon?" asked Damien.

"According to this TV Guide," said Steve, "It's a show about a boy's journey to collect
7 insanely cute monster like things which range from what looks like a Pikachu with a
gun arm and a tennis shoe.  Using these 7 monsters he must fight against the 'Evil
Empire' and eventually wipe out The Harbor of Pearls."

"Harbor of Pearls?"

--- ---

"...Go Shoe! You must fight!  We must battle evil empire!  Destroy!  Hahaha!"

Suddenly a TMR like guy appears.

"Hahaha!  You no fight us!  I take this now!"  He stuffs the shoe into a bag.

"You take now!  Hahahaha!  You fight!  I fight!  Destroy Evil Empire!..."

--- ---

"This is the most screwed up show I've ever watched..." said Dan.

"The whole episode makes no sense," remarked Kate, "All they do is talk."

'Here comes the ChinDiGiPoKoMon Rancher 2000 Rap!  Stay tuned!'

--- ---

'3...2...1...Go!
Robrah lraep bmob!
Robrah lraep bmob!
Robrah lraep bmob!
Robrah lraep bmob!
Go go go go go go!
Robrah lraep bmob!
Robrah lraep bmob!
Destroy Evil Empire!
Robrah lraep bmob!
Robrah lraep bmob!
Go go go go go go!'

--- ---

"Dan?  Are you all right?"  Ardweden waved her hand in front of a hypnotized
Dan, "Dan!  Dan!"

"Huh?  What?"  Dan suddenly popped back into reality as the show ended.

"Are you alright Dan?" asked Steve.

"Yeah, sure.  But I have a sudden urge to bomb pearl harbor."

"Kate, change the channel."

"Let's try Channel 21."

Nayrb Showy suddenly jumped at the sound of the channel and quickly tried to stop
the changing of the channel.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-click-

-( Channel 21 )-

"What is it?" asked Ard.

"I don't know...It's very sparkly..." Kate stammered off.  Her eyes went wide and
her body started to vibrate with increasing intensity.

"You fools!" screamed Nayrb, "That's the All-Pikachu-Eye Channel!..."  Nayrb went limp
like Kate.  Ard followed.  Steve and Scott after her.

--- ---

"Hey, you guys alright?" asked an unaffected Dan.

"Ugh..."  The group finally got up.

"Dan, how come you weren't affected?" asked Steve.

"Seizure-proof visor.  It helps when I make flashy transformations."

"And what about Damole?" asked Ard.

"He's over there, looking at the...where did all the pocket TVs go?"

Damole slowly backed away from the area near the former placements of the pocket TVs.

"..." ...ed Illyria.

"Hey," said the walking in Nayrb Guide, "how long do you guys plan on staying in here?"

"Kate?"

"I'm done," yawned Kate, "One seizure is too many.  Plus, the shows are starting to mix 
together."

'Homicide: Life on Sesame Street.  Brought to you by the letter M.'

"Okay then," said Nayrb, "Let's move on to the last part of the tour."

--- ---

"And here is the last stop on our tour, the Super Shop.  From here, you guys
can see Sable Tower."

Once again, Dan whipped out his binoculars and could see nothing outside the town for miles.

"I guess we'll find it later."

The group entered the store and decided to stock up on some supplies.  Nayrb Guide
guided them to the manager.  The group was not surprised to find another Nayrbian.

"This is Nayrb Shoppy.  He and Clyfartha run this store."

"Clyfartha?" wondered Dan "Wasn't he at the shack?"

"What are you talking about?  Clyfartha hasn't left the shop in a month."

"Whatever."

"So," begun the shopkeeper, "What do you need?"

"Well, we could get some Rev--" Steve's attempt was cut off by the shopkeeper.

"I have this for the Martial Artist."  Nayrb handed Ard a giant glove.

"What is it?"

"A giant glove...sorry, couldn't think of anything else that wouldn't boost
your power to extraordinary limits.  And for the magical girl," Nayrb reaches
into his shelves and pulls out a star wand with a golden handle.  As it was pulled
out it eminated a slight sound of 'Wai'.  "This is the golden wai wand of the
wai-ing star.  It guarantes every attack you say will be 250% cuter."

"The universe hates me."

"For the bishounen, the sword of imdefenestration."

"...?"

"It guarantees that the user of the sword will not be defenestrated."

"..."

"And the mecha hero gets this," he hands Dan a small connector.

"What's this for?"

"It plugs into the cartridge that Odan gave you.  It allows you to use your
fire drones in 'ZIG' mode.  It'll be more useful later.  And for the sidekick..."

Steve, remembering what weapon she got from the last newbie author, tried her luck.

"You don't happen to have any Beatdown Sticks of Beatdown, do you?"

"Nope, Dev gave you the last one.  Sorry."

"Wai."

"...Wai?  WAI?!  That's the secret word of the day! So let's see..."

"Let me guess, Nerf Ball Launcher?"

Nayrb pulls out a large cannon like device that could easily match the size of
any of the Big Guns(tm).

"This is the Supasonic Hyper Wai Nerf Cannon."

"It may look big, but it's still a Nerf Ball Launcher."

"Not quite.  It fires the Nerf Balls at ultrasonic speeds converting 85% of the
ball's weight into energy.  This causes explosions at about the strength of--"

"Let me guess, a small firecracker?"

"--a small nuclear bomb.  Plus, since it's Nerf, it's very lightweight."

"Cool!"  Steve turns a fires a ball out the window and watches the terrain get
torn apart.

"Now for Damole, I have this handy C4 application kit...Hey, where'd he go?"

Suddenly a trapdoor opens from besides the counter.

"Sorry,  I was just tunneling to Sable Tower."  Damole takes the C4 kit and goes
back down the hole.

"Which reminds me," remembered Dan, "where is Sable Tower?  I can't see it anywhere."

"Did you try outside that window?" responded Nayrb.  The group looked outside the window
and saw a large dark tower of evil energy casting it's shadow over the shop.

"Do things normally just pop up out of nowhere?" asked Steve.
--- ---

"Yeah!  All right!"  Steve had just blown up several tough looking enemies with a single
blast from his Supasonic Hyper Wai Nerf Cannon.

"I hate newbie authors," remarked Dan, not used to the feeling of Steve actaully
being able to blow things up.

"Cheer up, Dan," said Ardweden, "He's almost out of Nerf Balls."

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

The group exited the town and approached the evilness that was Sable Tower, the
Tower of Doom.  As they walked closer, they could feel that the evil was getting stronger
and stronger.  The powers of the evil wizard Demios once flourished in this tower.  Now 
the force of evil in the tower was twice as powerful.

"Hmmm...,"  Steve was examining the tower wall, "The wall has deep cracks in it.  Like
it's been torn down before."

"Damole, do you know anything about this?" asked Dan.  He did not get a reply. "Damole?"
Dan turned around to find that Damole was missing from their group.

"Where did he go?  Wasn't he tunneling here?"

"Must be a little slow," thought Ard.

"Oh well.  We don't have time to waste.  Let's go!" said Kate as she opened the door
of the tower.

"Kate, hold on.  It might be --"
A bucket of water fell down on Kate's head.
"--trapped."

-(1st Floor: Battle Royale)-
Once everyone in the group (except Damien, who had to wait outside) had entered the door,
the door closed behind them, signifying a large battle about to take place.  No one came
down the stairs.  No one popped up from behind them.  No one flew down from the air.

"Where is everyone?" whispered Steve.  Steve's voice echoed throughout the quiet room.
Still nothing.

The group walked into the middle of the room and stepped on a trap switch.
Nothing.

The group moved up the stairs.
Nothing.

The group went into the next room.
Nothing.

Steve closed the door behind them.

"Steve, why did you close the door?" asked Dan.

"I was making sure that no one is going to come up behind us."

"But there was no one in there."  Dan opened the door and looked at the thousands upon
thousands of Goblins, Troglodytes and Fire Demons that had appeared.  Dan closed the door.

"Hm...The author must not be writing fast enough to keep up with our pace," remarked Steve.

-(2nd Floor: LDS)-

Kate read the sign of extreme importance.
"This floor protected by the LDS, made by Damole & Co."

"What's the LDS?" asked Dan, "Laser Defense System?"

"Close.  It's the Laser Defenestration System.  The power source is over there."
Kate pointed to the exposed power rods on the other side of the LDS.

"Easy.  I'll just blow it up!"  Steve launched a Nerf Ball from his Cannon.
With pinpoint accuracy, the LDS hit the ball with an invisible force and 
defenestrated the ball with great velocity.  The group watched as the ball flew right into
Nayrbtown.

"Hey!  Blow up some other Extras house!" screamed Nayrb ExTrA.

"Sorry!" screamed back Steve.

"Hey!  I have an idea!" said Kate, "Water Mist!"
A mist came across the laser field, enabling the heroes to find out that there was
no way a straight lined projectile could possibly cross the LDS.

"Now let's let Illyria cross."

"...?"

"Yeah, what do you mean?"

"Well, Illyria picked up the sword of imdefenestration so he shouldn't be able to be
defenestrated.  He could dodge some of the lasers in the front, and then break the
power rods."

"..."

"That's the spirit!"

Illyria took a step back and pulled out the sword.  He quickly leaped between some lasers
and flipped through the next pair with incredible agility.  The bishounen showed off
several acrobatic techniques: flips into slides into horizontal rolls...He almost got past
the LDS when another laser popped into place and blocked his ascent.  He then accidentally
tripped a laser at the end.

"....!"

Illyria was thrown towards the window.  He was about to be defenestrated when his sword
started to glow.  The sword made a plate of metal appear over the window that Illyria
was about to fly out of.  The group issued a sign of relief as Illyria made it to the
other side and stuffed the sword into the power rods, shutting off the lasers.

-(3rd Floor: Windy Tunnel)-

"How...much...longer...to...the...end...of...the...tunnel?" panted Steve.

The wind blew very hard on this floor and the heroes were having a hard time breathing
and moving towards the other side.  The worse part was that there were crosswinds which
could easily blow the heroes off their feet and back all the way to start.

"Come on, you guys are slow."  Dan just simply walked through the tunnel due to the fact
that his Mecha shoes had incredible grip to the floor.

"..."

"I...agree...completely...with...you...Illyria," breathed Ard.

"Hey, Ard.  I think you better take a look at this."  Dan was looking at an obelisk like
thing.  All the wind in the tunnel seemed to be eminating from it.  It was marked with
the waves of the wind. When everyone had finally made it through the tunnel and had their
moment of rest, Ard decided to take a look at the thing.  It started glowing in reaction
to Ard's proximity.

"Why...It's an elemental tower!  This one must control the wind."

"That's amazing."

"What, that an elemental tower would be right here in the middle of this tower and not
out of the way on some island?"

"No...that someone is actually trying to revive a lost plot point."

The tower suddenly disappeared and Ard had a windy aura for about a second.

"That had to be one of the cheapest special effect I've ever seen."

"I guess revived lost plot points don't get a lot of the budget."

-(4th Floor: Double Trouble)-

The heroes walked into a very cathedral like room.  It was covered with religious
ornaments and had a podium for a speaker.  Some annoying organ music played
in the background.  The candles were lit all around them. There were no benches 
however and the religious ornaments were related to the anti-christ.  The candles suddenly
snuffed themselves out leaving the room in darkness.

"Bwahahahaha.  Bwahahahaha!"  The laughter came from two directions at once.
"Welcome to your destruction!"

When the lights came back on the heroes were in a very different room.  It was no longer
a cathedral, it looked more like a battle arena.  Two floating reaper-like demons came to
meet the heroes. They both carried staffs and a glowing ball of light.  Their only
difference was that one was colored grey and the other was more green.

"My name is Demios," said the green cloaked one, "The ruler of this tower."
Demios pointed to his grey cloaked friend. "This is the Lich."

"..." ...ed the Lich.

"Hey," begun Dan, "are you two twins?"

The exact clones of each other stared at each other.

"We are unrelated," spoke Demios.  The Lich ...ed in agreement.

"Are you sure?"  Demios decided to ignore Dan's question.

"The powers of darkness in this tower exceed your own.  You cannot hope to defeat us."

"Oh yeah," said Steve, "I can beat you guys in one shot."  She pulled out the Supasonic
Hyper Wai Nerf Cannon.

"Ah, Jarred, you have come back again to fight us and lose."

"I'm not Jarred!  I'm not even a guy!"  Steve thought about that last sentence for
a moment.  "Eat Supasonic Hyper Wai Nerf Balls!"
Steve pulled the trigger on her gun.
Nothing.
She pulled it again.
Still nothing.

"Steve," said Ard, "you're out of Nerf Balls."  She held up an empty Nerf Ball container.

"It's not fair." 

Dan was instead pleased at the sidekick's misfortune.

"VICTOLY!" posed Dan in his Richard Nixon stance. "Eat Missle Fire!"  Dan launched dozens
of missles out of his suit, stunning the two demons.

"Ice Storm!" Kate pulled out her Water Scroll and blasted Demios and the Lich with an
immense Blizzard.

"...,...,...!" A three slash combo caught the Lich off guard and the Lich payed for that
by getting hit by two of the three.  On the third, the Lich countered with his Staff,
paralyzing Illyria.

"Windy Wai Blast"  Ard stuck her hand out in Generic Ki Ball style and this time launched
a Generic Wind Ball which struck Demios, but did no damage.

"Wai Protective Wai Quasar Prince Wai Multi Wai Mandala Wai Hawk Wai Cannon!"
Scott's Attack:
1.Sent out for the Quasar Prince Wai (Wai being his name) to protect the wainess
  of the wai
2.Had a wai hawk wearing multiple wai mandalas which protect from wainess fired
  out of a cannon
3.Did absolutely no damage.
4.Sounded incredibly silly.

"Bwahahaha.  You are weak!" taunted Demios.

"Earthquake." The Lich stunned the entire party with a mini-earthquake

"Summon Undead."  Zombies poppep out of the ground on Demios' command.

"Fireball.""Fireball.""Fireball."...They chained their fireballs together at Steve
who was juggled constantly through the air.

"Man these guys are cheap," said Dan as he fired off another round of missiles.

"..."

"Illyria's right.  We need to concentrate our attacks all at once."
Dan signaled in the air with his hand. 3...2...1...

"Matrix Missle Storm!" "Death Death Punch!" "Pretty Pink Wai um...Wai!" "..."
"Antipode!" "Nerf Slash..."

By the power of their concentrated attacks, Demios and the Lich were forced to
their knees.

"You haven't won yet!  Lich!"  They both stood up.

"Mirror Image!" both of them split into two images of themselves which made 4
incredibly cheap bastards instead of two.

"Fireball.""Fireball.""Fireball.""Fireball." The heroes were knocked back.

"Earthquake.""Earthquake.""Earthquake.""Earthquake." The heroes were now stunned.
How could they possibly win now?

"I suggest you guys duck your heads," echoed a familiar voice.
Suddenly the middle of the room, where the Lich and Demios were standing blew up.
Dust clouded the room as a figure popped out of a tunnel dug under the floor.

"Xellos?" everyone thought.

"No," said the figure, "I am --(pause with dramatic stuff in it)-- Damole!  I
told you I'm an expert tunneler and explosive planter."

"Geez..How'd you get up here anyway?" asked Dan.

"I tunneled my way from Nayrbtown."

"No, I mean how did you tunnel up 4 floors?"

"Well, there's a very simple explanation.  You see--"

"Hey, you guys!" exclaimed Kate, "The next floor is the prize room!"  She ran
up the stairs followed by the rest of the group.

-(5th Floor:Prize Room)-

"Wow," said Dan, "It's empty."

"All except for that stone over there," said Kate, "That must be the magic stone."
The group started to run over to get it when a cloaked man swung down from the
ceiling and grabbed it.  He was holding in the other hand what looked like a
lightsabre.

"Ha," said the man, "You aren't getting this so easily."

"Look out," said Dan, "It's a Jedi Knight!"

"Um...No, I'm not a Jedi Knight."

"Well, he probably has the Force!"

"No, I don't have the force..."

"Um...He can probably shoot fire balls out of that sword!"

"Well, no, not really..."

"Well...the lightsabre looks really dangerous."

"Actually," the man bangs it against his head, "It's only able to cut dirt
and firm tofu."

"Oh."

"...And magical girl costumes."  Scott's mood lowers.

"Well, anyway...Give us back the stone!"

"Ha!  Come fight me at the base of the tower!"  the man jumps away through the window.
A loud 'Thump' is heard outside as the heroes see a white 9999 raise in the sky.

"Don't worry!  I'm alright!"  yelled the cloaked man.

"Okay, let's go!" said Kate as she went running down the stairs.

"Well, Kate," said Ard, "We don't really need the stone..."

"What do you mean?"

"We don't even know what it does."

"But everything in an RPG is important."

"No, Kate."  The group comepletely agreed with Ard.

"But..."

"No, Kate."

"What about..."

"No, Kate."

"Well maybe Kate's right this time..."  Dan surprised everyone, "the stone might
actually be of some importance if Odan mentions it and we go through all this to
get the last one..."

"No, Dan."

Back in Valhallo:

"Did someone call me?" asked Odan, "I thought I heard someone call for me."

"No, Odan," said Joel, "No one called for you."

"Well I thought I heard someone call Odan...There it is again!"

Joel put his hand to his face and shook his head.

Back in the tower:

"Hey," said the cloaked man,"are you going to chase after me or what?"
The cloaked man had just jumped back up 5 stories to talk to them.

"Nah...It's not worth it."  Ard had convinced everyone (except Kate, of course)
that the stone was of absoulutely no purpose, especially since they came from
SaikyoKun.

"Well...then I'll just steal these."  The cloaked man, quickly stole four seals from
the inventory bag and jumped back out the window.

"Now we have to go fight him!"  exclaimed Kate while the rest of the party ...ed.

Steve then looked into the inventory bag.  There were no seals.

"Hey...If he stole four of them, then where did the rest of the seals go?"

Damole started whistling and slowly started walking away from the bag.

"We'll worry about that later," said Dan, "Right now, we have to get those four seals back."

||=(#%#==#*#) 3753 # = #

The heroes followed the tunnel that Damole had made all the way back down to the base
of the tower.  There they found the mysterious guy waiting for them placing the stone and
the 4 seals behind him.

"Who the heck are you anyway?" asked Ard.

"I am the powerful man with no real special powers!  I have trained under both
GnowRm and YelirRm.  I am sworn against heroes, for I am |\|/-|Y|2|3!"

Ard became confused. "What was your name?"

"|\|/-|Y|2|3!"

"How did you pronounce lines and dashes?"  |\|/-|Y|2|3 fell face down on the floor.  '9999'
popped up above his head.

"Hm...Must be on the Valkyrie Profile Scale," whispered Dan.

"Look, my name is in Haxor code so..."

"Oh!  So the symbols represent letters...N...A...I still don't get it."  |\|/-|Y|2|3
fell on the floor again.  '9999' popped up above his head again. "Why do you haxors
have to make your names so weird anyway?"

"Geez...Just pronounce my name like the sound my pseudo-lightsabre makes when it's moved."
|\|/-|Y|2|3 moved his pseudo-lightsaber. It emitted a low humming that sounded like
"Nayrb..."

"Nayrb?  Oh, it's another Nayrbian!  Then why are you fighting us?  I thought all the
Nayrb were good people."

"Ha!" laughed |\|/-|Y|2|3,"I fight against you for I am Nayrb --(dramatic pause)-- Badguy!"

The heroes chuckled.  Except for Dan, who downright started laughing.

"You mean like Sol Badguy?"

"See, this is why I changed my name.  Anyway, let's get down to business.  You want your
stuff back, you have to go through me."

"Alright then, let's do it!  VICTOLY!  Missle Matrix!"  Millions of missiles flew at Nayrb.

"Laser Field!" A field of lasers appeared and blew up all the missles before they reached a
good proximity.

"Wai air!" "Pretty Gentle Wai King Pretty Wai Pink Wai Princess Sugar Wai Beam!"
Ard flew through the air on a wind stream and shot wind at |\|/-|Y|2|3.
Scott shot something that was very pink and wai like.
|\|/-|Y|2|3 whipped out a shield with a happy face on it.  It absorbed both of the attacks
easily.

"This is my cute shield.  It blocks anything with a remotely cute name."

"Wai," responded the magical girl.

"Now it's my turn!  Parabola Slash!" |\|/-|Y|2|3 jumped with his sword into the air in a
perfect parabola, right over all of the heroes heads.  When |\|/-|Y|2|3 came in for a landing
he missed, and fell on the floor. '9999' appeared over his head.

"Err...Now time for gravity crush!"  The heroes were moved one inch by the power of the
YelirRm attack.  Afterwards, the recoil on the attack flung |\|/-|Y|2|3 back a meter into a
wall causing '9999' damage.

"Ow...Now to combine the powers of YelirRm and GnowRm. Go gravity driven projectile slash!"
In a parabola not unlike the first, he flew over the heroes, this time into the wall of the
tower. '9999' damage.  Then fell down off the wall. '9998' damage.

"Yes!  Hahaha!  Only '9998' damage!  I am invincible--" |\|/-|Y|2|3 slips and falls causing
another '9998' damage. "Ow."

Suddenly 3 other people came out of the shadows, they came running to |\|/-|Y|2|3.
"Sorry we're late," said one of them, "Someone had to play another game of Captain Commando."

"Well, sorry."

"Alirght then!  Let's beat the heroes!"  The 3 shadows suddenly became a man in a black cloak,
a pink-clad warrior, and a upside down floating mushroom shaped skull in a mech suit.

"Great...them again," said Ard.

"Let's go!" said |\|/-|Y|2|3.  The group flew into the air and started flying around.
|\|/-|Y|2|3 threw off his cloak and showed a Nayrbian in a very good rendition of a
Captain Commando suit. The group landed in a well posed formation with an explosion behind
them.
"The ultimate power to defeat good!  Saikyo DEC!"

"DEC?" asked Steve.

The group replied, "Daas Excellent Commandos!"

"Oh god..." remarked Dan.

"Okay!  Get ready for our attack!  Nayrb Beam!"  All four of the group put their hands into
the sky forming a large beam (much like the captain sword).  They slowly brang it down smashing
the floor between Ardweden and Kate (very near the spot Damien and Steve were hiding).
(10 miles away, a harpy was immolated by the beam.  The D&D heroes didn't mind too much until
the beam came down into their airship.)

"Ha! You missed!"  exclaimed Kate.

"Oh yeah!" responded |\|/-|Y|2|3, "Alright everyone, to the left!"
The beam swung to the left and knocked out Kate, Illyria and Dan.

"Hey," said Ard, "You can't do that!"

"Go to the right!"  The beam swung the other way and knocked out Ardweden and Scott.

"Great...Just great..."  said Steve as he saw the others get knocked out.  Lucky for
Steve, the beam ran out of juice.

"We can fix that!"  The 3 others in the group started taunting and filling up the bar.

"Okay then!  Here comes Princess Cannon!"  A loud boom was heard from behind the heroes
as a Princess came flying over Steve's head, and right into |\|/-|Y|2|3, causing '9998' damage.

"Ow...Then how about Queen Burner!"  A queen runs right by |\|/-|Y|2|3 and immolates in the
middle of the floor.

"Hey, I'm on fire!"  |\|/-|Y|2|3 runs around with multiple '9998' popping up over his head.

Then his power bar finally filled up.

"Okay...Here we go!  Terra Rush!" |\|/-|Y|2|3 used up his bar to run around the world
ala My Final Heaven and ran right up to Steve in attacking fashion.  But due to the use of
actual physics, |\|/-|Y|2|3 got incredibly tired, created a ditch with his sword, and fell right
in.

"Well, that was interesting..." said Damien.

But also to the use of physics a low humming was heard from the direction of |\|/-|Y|2|3.

"Uh-oh...Sonic Boom!!!"  Steve and Damien were flipped through the air into trees and houses that
the boom carried with it.  As all was over, Steve and Damien had taken the largest amount of damage
that anyone had taken from |\|/-|Y|2|3.  '7'.

|\|/-|Y|2|3 and the rest of the Saikyo DEC were now sleeping and tired out.  Steve picked up the stone
as the rest of the heroes woke up.

"Now that was an interesting battle..." remarked Damien.

"Yeah, we won without doing a point of damage."

--- ---

With the three stones in hand, the heroes finally completed their long sidequest.

"So what exactly do these things do?" asked Dan.

The stones glowed and produced an instruction manual.

"Hmm...It says you can find stuff with it," said Steve.

"Okay...Find Garret," said Kate.  The stones glew and launched a beam straight up
into the sky.

"Err...I think they're broken."

"Um...," Steve thought, "Find Steve..." The beam shot straight up into the air.

"I guess they are--" Steve was suddenly smashed with the light from the stones.

"Ow."

"Well, then...How do you think we should follow the light to Garret?"

Dan thought of it.  "We could use my 'ZIG' mode to go up into space!"

--- ---

"Getting ready for blastoff. Everyone in place?" asked the 'DanZIG'.
The heroes and mascot had taken their respected places in the 'ZIG'.

"Yeah. So move 'ZIG' move 'ZIG'," chuckled Steve, " You know what you doing!"

"Stop it with the ZW jokes.  They're getting old," said Ard.

"3...2...1...Blastoff!"

The 'DanZIG' launched itself off into space tracing the line of light launched from
the stones finally on track to find Garret.

"Damole!  Stop touching the controls!"

--- ---

Meanwhile, back on top of Sable Tower, the Saikyo DEC was hanging out upside down and
hanging off of the tower.

"So, Saikyo," begun |\|/-|Y|2|3, "You've been like this the most.  How do you get out of it?"

"Well, you do this and --"  SaikyoKun fell out of his ropes and down the tower.

"Hey, senoB.  Your omnipotent, right?  Get out of your ropes and do something."

"Okay."  senoB pops out of his ropes and gives Devest8tor an atomic wedgie.

"senoB, you bastard!"

"Dammo, eh Clyfartha?"

15 miles away: "Eh."

---------------

Author's Notes:

This was very rushed at the end.  So all that stuff I promised you about explaining
jokes and stuff... It'll have to come later.  Check tomorrow.

Anyway, don't make Damole the mole...he's a joke character.  A distraction for the real
mole if you will.