The scene is dark. Six spotlights snap on, illuminating our Destined Heroes (in SD form) sitting in the classroom set. SD-Kate is standing in front at the blackboard, and the other five are seated. However, this time they're facing towards the audience. SD-Ardweden: (Waving enthusiastically) Hi everybody! It's time for another recap! SD-Steve: Yes, seeing as it's been a while since the last chapter. (Pause) "Last chapter?" What on earth does that mean? The camera shifts to show Damien attempting to hold a stack of cue cards with his wings. It's proving to be difficult, but Damien is managing it. SD-Damien: (shrugs) Don't ask me, I just hold up the cards. SD-Steve: (thoughtfully) You know, there's been a lot of "last chapter" and "next chapter" and "one chapter away", and it's always been glossed over. I wonder what it means? Could it mean that- He would continue, but the applause sign drops on his head. "Standing Ovation" lights up, and the unseen audience gives a standing ovation. SD-Steve: (looking slightly concussed) Pretty birdies... SD-Scott: You okay? SD-Steve: No, a large sign just fell on me. What was I talking about? There is a confused silence, which the narrator decides to fill. SD-Kate: Anyway! It doesn't matter! On to the recap! Everyone to your places! Everyone sits down, except for Steve, who doesn't sit so much as collapse into his chair. SD-Kate: We have almost all the seals now! We have the Pocky Seal. (Steve holds up the empty box and shakes it forlornly.) We have the Paperweight Seal, found in De Gemmel - that turned out to be mine. (She holds it up, and it does a good impression of a paperweight.) Kate stops talking for a moment, taking a sip of water. On the blackboard a quick series of slides shows the battle for Dan's battery seal and Xelloss nicking off with it. SD-Kate: Unfortunately, we *don't* have Dan's Battery Seal, because soon after we found it Xelloss took it. The other seals we have are Scott's Necklace Seal (SD-Scott grumbles), the Nintendo Seal of Quality, and Duct Tape Seal. We're not sure which is Ard's. We also had the Bishounen Seal and Illyria got his powerup from it, and then it disappeared. Another series of slides shows Ash, explaining the quest way back in chapter 1. SD-Kate: But we're going to need the Bishounen Seal back, because to go back home we need all the seals together. SD-Steve: Yeah, and put them on some altar thingy. SD-Scott: That doesn't help. "Altar thingy?" SD-Steve: I notice I was the only one that even remembered that, though. SD-Kate: Quiet, you're not following the cue cards! (She beams at the audience as a slide of the Authoress beating Xelloss up is shown.) Right now we're chasing the Authoress because she has Xelloss' soul in an orb. But unbeknownst to us, she has swapped it for the Bishounen Seal with ColdFury! SD-Illyria: ...so wouldn't we know it now that you've told us? SD-Kate: Not once we get out of this recap mode! SD-Dan: That sucks. If we knew that when we went back to normal mode then it would make things easier. SD-Kate: Don't worry, we're almost at the end of this recap! SD-Steve: (Muttering) Thank god. SD-Kate: (whaps him with a mallet then beams at the audience) And we've almost found the Authoress! We've just entered the Dan Woods and about to enter the Earth Shrine, where we're sure to find her! And now that you know where we're up to, it's time for... THE BIGGEST SPECTACLE IN SILLY SELF-INSERTION CHIBI-IMPRO! LIVE!! FROM THE WORLD OF [FILL IN WORLD NAME HERE]! IT'S TIME FOR- *BANG* ARGH! AUGH! AaAauuu... you shot me... *THUD* That's quite enough of *that*. ...what? Why are all looking at me like that? What do you mean I'm announcing the title now? That's ridiculous! I'm just a hitman! Get away from me; put that microphone *away* - oh, all right. *ahem* It's time for... Look, I'm not announcing that introduction, it's ridiculous. It's why I was hired in the first place. I'll just say that it's time for: ========================================================== Otaku Wish Fulfilment Theater Started by Scott Schimmel Chapter 38: To chase or not to chase... that, and the penultimate chapter! By Steven Scougall ========================================================== "So where is the Earth shrine, then?" asked Ardweden, stepping through the gate to the Dan Woods. "It might look close on the map, but it could still be several miles away." "Earth Shrine", said a sign just outside a large temple-like building. "Ah," said Ardweden, sweatdropping. The temple, or to be more accurate the shrine, was large. Unlike most shrines, there was not a whole lot of white marble and gold decoration. Instead, it was made largely of wood and clay. Despite that, the shrine was large and majestic. The pillars of the shrine merged with the trees and other foliage surrounding the building, and the edifice almost seemed to grow out of the ground. "Impressive architecture," said Scott. "Yes," said Dan. "You might almost say that the landscaping is very good." Everybody looked the shrine over a few times, studiously ignoring the bad joke. "Um," said Dan, who had been hoping for a bigger reaction. "You know? The landscaping?" "Dan, that was a *bad* joke," said Ardweden. "Don't do it again." "..." Illyria agreed. "Fine," sighed Dan. "Let's just go inside, shall we?" He powerposed. He opened his mouth. "ONWARDS!" shouted Kate, beating Dan to it. Dan dejectedly closed his mouth and stopped posing. He followed Kate into the Earth Shrine, muttering something about how he was supposed to be the leader but never did anything all that much leader-like. The other five shrugged and followed their mighty leader following their ninja following her enthusiasm. The inside of the shrine was just as impressive as the outside. It was also as lacking in the traditional white and gold colours. Instead, brown and green were the order of the day. Somehow, the earth brown and leaf green tiling was bright and shiny, almost blinding; it was an impressive trick of colour engineering. Ardweden was instantly gravitated to it. There was also a complete absence of people in the entrance they'd just stepped into. The Destined Heroes shrugged and passed through into the main hall. The first thing they noticed was that it was, indeed, a main hall. Considering its immensity, it couldn't be anything other than a main hall. The roof was high above their heads - almost as high as the tallest trees in the Dan Woods. Sunlight poured through the several tens of skylights and dappled the immense floor. The walls were easily twenty metres to their sides, and the far wall was further away than an Olympic sized swimming pool. The second thing they noticed was that the idea of using trees as pillars and pillars as trees, displayed outside, was continued inside. At regular spots trees grew up from between holes cut into the tiles. At the far end of the hall was a massive tree, easily the largest yet, and at the base of the tree was an altar. They looked at the people around and on the altar and noticed the third thing. "Hey! That's the Bishounen Seal!" said Damien. "What's he doing here?" It was, indeed, the Bishounen Seal. What he was up to was the fourth thing they noticed, which was that in addition to the Bishounen Seal there was the Authoress. And another bishounen. All in a position that, while not compromising right now, looked like it could become a compromising position at the drop of hat, or, indeed, the drop of any other piece of clothing. Everybody blushed. Except for Illyria, who didn't go in for big displays of emotion. Illyria's eye, did, however, twitch slightly. "Well," said Ardweden, "that makes finding him a bit easier. I thought we'd have to go find Fury and get the Bishounen Seal from him." "What are you talking about?" asked the Authoress. The two bishounen, not intelligent enough to follow the conversation, sat there and preened. One took a fistful of hair and started chewing it. "The Bishounen Seal. You know, that guy you're... er... um," Ardweden finished. "Him? Why are you guys looking for him? I thought you were finished with him!" "Not quite," said Steve, only just recovering from his blush. "We're going to need him to get back home. We have to put him on some altar somewhere with the other Seals." "This altar, by any chance?" asked the Authoress hopefully. "Probably not," Steve conceded. "Then I'm afraid you're going to have to fight for him," the Authoress said. "Wait wait wait!" cried Damien, running forwards and waving his wings in a placating way. He could remember all too well getting stuck on the Final Fantasy Tactics battle screen the last time they fought the Authoress and didn't particularly want to repeat the experience or, indeed, anything like it. "Can't we just take turns with him or something? Something like you getting him after we're done?" "Um..." said a new voice. Everybody turned, amazed. The Bishounen Seal was holding up his hand, looking very timid. "Do *I* get a say in this?" he asked. "No," everybody said at the same time. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" he cried. "Nobody ever wants me for me, they just want my body!" Still in his almost-compromising state of clothedness, he leapt from the altar and ran from the main hall. Everybody blinked and sweatdropped. "Well damn," said Steve. "*Now* look at what you've done," snapped the Authoress. "Let's go find him!" shouted Dan. "Onwards!" At a time like this, men and women should band together, join their forces, and pool their resources to quickly and efficiently achieve their shared goal. However, what actually happened is that in a desperate attempt to get out of the door first, the Destined Heroes, their Mascot and the Authoress got stuck in the doorway. "Well this is just great," sighed Scott. "The universe hates me." One magical girl transformation sequence later, they were still stuck. Dan and Steve, who had been looking in a certain direction, were desperately reminding themselves that Scott was their friend, actually male, and that they shouldn't let what they had just seen affect their thoughts at all. They didn't do very well. "Er... any ideas on how to get out?" asked the Authoress. Kate wriggled to get free and couldn't manage it. "None whatsoever," she said. Time passed. "Well, *this* is interesting," said a new voice, because the current author thought he'd delayed the search long enough. The group stopped struggling and those that could looked in the direction of the voice, and saw Adam. "Adam!" said the Authoress. "How great to see you! Help us out here, please?" "Not before I get a photo." ^_- One highly embarrassing photo later, the Destined Heroes, their Mascot, and the Authoress were freed from the doorway. The delay was probably a good thing, for they'd had time to calm down, collect their thoughts, and start working out how to find the Bishounen Seal. So instead of rushing out into the Dan Woods, they stood around arguing about what to do. "He's a not very smart bishounen," said Steve. "An idea immediately presents itself." "Oh yes?" asked Scott. "Have Dan insult his looks through a megaphone attachment or something, and follow the sound of highly hurt crying." "Too involved, too nasty, and too dependent on Dan having a megaphone attachment," said Ardweden. "I've got an easier way. Just follow the footprints." She indicated the heavy footprints the Bishounen Seal had left behind. "What if there's a break in the trail?" asked Dan. "Look for the nearest pond. He'll either be admiring himself in it or having a wash." "I vote for Ard's idea," Kate said enthusiastically. "I do too," said the Authoress. ^_- It wasn't very hard to find the Bishounen Seal. In his highly emotional state, he'd left tracks a concussed goldfish could have followed. There were frequent signs of him collapsing to the ground and having an emotional sob before getting up and staggering off again. At his pace he hadn't gone very far; they had only two random encounters before they finally found him. The Bishounen Seal was in a medium-sized pond in a large clearing, scrubbing dirt out of his long hair. At the sound of the group entering the clearing he looked up, and his eyes went wide. He blushed, and looked down. "Er," said Steve. "Definitely," said Dan. "Perhaps we should give him his clothes back?" asked Scott. "Why?" asked the Authoress. "At least his boxer shorts," said Steve. "Why?" asked the Authoress. Then she remembered that she was at odds with the others and sprang away. "And why must I ally myself with you any longer? You seek to take him away from me! Have at you!" Lightning crackling around her and a phantom breeze blowing her hair every which way, she rose into the air. She laughed insanely. "I shall have my victory! And then my bishounen!" Everyone got ready for battle. Damien tried to dive for cover but found himself smacking into an invisible wall. Scott swirled, flowers and bright lights surrounding her. Dan posed and shouted "Victoly!" Kate pulled the half-mask over her face. The Bishounen Seal tried to sneak out of the pond and over to his clothes, but found an invisible wall impeding his progress out of the water. Ardweden dropped into a ready stance. Illyria unsheathed his sword as his trenchcoat turned plaid. The kanji for "ridiculously overpowered midboss" appeared on Steve's bandanna, and his clothes became *truly* bizarre. "Oh, did you think this would be hack and slash again?" the Authoress asked. "I think *not*!" Cutesy yet catchy music started to play and giant arrows appeared above everyone. "This is the best song! Are you ready to DANCE?" asked a disembodied voice. "Oh no," said Dan. "It couldn't be..." breathed Ardweden. "I challenge you to a Dance Dance Revolution match!" yelled the Authoress. Everyone sweatdropped, and then ghostly arrows were flying upwards through the air. The fight was on. ^_- Dan didn't dance in public. Ever. This understandably hampered his performance somewhat. Scott was highly embarrassed by her outfit already. Dancing and jumping around in a too-short skirt just made the embarrassment worse. She tried to follow the arrows, but ended up turning in a very half-hearted performance. Steve had never played a DDR game in his life, but roughly knew how the game was supposed to be played. He quickly emulated Kate's ninja skills, for whatever boost they would give, prayed his rhythm wouldn't fail him, and tried to follow the arrows as best he could. He found that he was enjoying himself, even if his dance level wasn't all that great. Illyria, true to his brooding bishounen air, started off badly. But then, urged on by Kate, he picked up the rhythm and his performance improved. Kate and Ardweden, on the other hand, were having a ball. Their Ninja and Martial Artist skills improved their speed and coordination to previously unthought of levels, and no matter how difficult the song the Authoress threw at them, they kept up. As for the Authoress, she was matching Kate and Ardweden step for step. But eventually, someone would have to give. ^_- The strains of some catchy random J-Pop song died away. "You ROCK! That was the best dance I've ever seen!" said the disembodied voice. "You win the match!" "Nooooo!" shouted the Authoress, the number "9999" appearing in white above her head. "How could you win?" "With amazing difficulty," said Steve. "Luckily, Kate and Ardweden were very good players," said Dan. Kate and Ardweden laughed in victory. The Authoress made a dash for the Bishounen Seal anyway, but the giant ghostly arrows hanging in the air became solid and fell on her, pinning her to the ground. She continued to rant and rave as the strangely docile Bishounen Seal was retrieved from the water and given his clothes back. The Destined Heroes (plus Mascot and ambulatory Seal) turned and left. A few minutes passed. Crickets chirped. The wind blew through the trees. A deer stepped out from between the trees and wrinkled its nose in confusion at the trapped Authoress. The Authoress shouted a bit, but obviously nobody was coming to help her. "Right," thought she, "how am I going to get out of *this* one? I don't have narrative control right now." There was a crashing noise, getting closer. The deer bounded away and the wind died down, and then the Destined Heroes were back. "Oh yeah," said Dan, "we'd also like that orb you trapped Xelloss' soul in." "Never!" shouted the Authoress. Weapons were produced and pointed in her general direction. Steve transformed into a beginner-level obscenely-powered midboss again and grinned nastily at her. The Authoress weighed up her options. "I gave it to Fury in return for the Bishounen Seal," she quickly said. "Any idea where Fury is?" asked Dan. "He was acting for Delfina, so at her place I guess. Apart from that I have no idea." "Just great," sighed Dan. "I don't suppose you'll be able to ask your twin to just give the orb to us, Ard?" There was a distant crash of angry thunder. "Probably not," said Ardweden doubtfully. "Let's go," said Illyria. He sheathed his sword and left. The others followed him. "Um, can you help me out of here?" the Authoress shouted after them. "Let bygones be bygones and all that?" They didn't answer. Presently, the deer came out of the trees and wrinkled its nose at her again. "I hope Adam comes soon," the Authoress grumbled. ^_- "Should we really have left her there?" asked Steve. "She'd have just attacked us again," Scott pointed out. "It still feels like a nasty thing to do to her," said Ardweden. "I really want to go home, I don't like all this fighting." Everyone sighed. "I want to go home, where I'm not a low-level Sidekick and can actually *do* stuff," said Steve. "I want to go home, where I'll be a guy again," said Scott. "..." said Illyria. "You said it," said Scott. Illyria nodded. "I kinda like my power," said Dan. "But... still... I wouldn't want to stay here." "I'd like to get back," said Damien. "I wouldn't be a useless mascot any more." Kate was noticeably silent. "Kate?" asked Scott. "This is where you say you want to go home too, you know." "I guess," Kate said at last. "But I like it here, too." "We have almost all the Seals," said Scott. "Once we have them-" "-and work out where this altar thingy is-" Steve added. "-yes, and work out what altar to put them on," said Scott, "it'll be time to leave. We must be really close to finishing our quest now, as we have almost everything. And we've been here long enough, too." Kate nodded, but looked strangely sad. She could tell the adventure was coming to an end, too. She didn't want it to end, though. This was one of the most fun adventures of her life. "Cheer up, Kate," said Scott, putting an arm around Kate's shoulders. "Not everything lasts forever." "Excuse me," said the Bishounen Seal in one of his rare lines, "but doesn't Dan have an All-Terrain Dan mode?" "Look kid," said Dan, "we were brooding, alright? Don't break a good brooding mood." He sighed. "But I guess you're right." A half-hearted "Victoly" later, Dan was All-Terrain Dan and the group was trundling through the Dan Woods towards the distant City of Delfi. ^_- Time passed, as it is wont to do. If you have to imagine something here, then imagine the world map, with a lengthening red arrow showing the Destined Heroes' progress. Also imagine a clock superimposed over this image, its hands spinning much faster than normal. Got all that? Good. ^_- After the time had passed, All-Terrain Dan trundled up to the gates of Delfi in the bright and early morning. The Destined Heroes (plus Mascot and the more ambulatory of the Seals) got out, and Dan detransformed. "Well, here we are," he said. "Before we go any further, can I say something?" asked Steve. "Sure," said Dan. "Go ahead." "We're going to go see a goddess with a fondness of bishounen. Xelloss, evil and bodiless as he currently is, is a bishounen. She won't let him go for nothing. We'll probably have to give her something. Probably another bishounen." "Darn right," said a female voice from the air. "Tsuin-chan?" asked Ardweden. "Yeah. Hi, Tsuin-chan," said the voice. Steve sweatdropped. "So *before* we go to the Oracle, how about we find a bishounen or two?" "Sounds good," said the same female voice. It stopped talking in a way that suggested it had moved away, looking for more people to scare with its disembodied presence. "Onwards!" said Kate. "You always beat me to that," complained Dan. ^_- Bishounen weren't too hard to find. It was finding bishounen that weren't on a collar and being led to the Oracle of Delfi that was the hard part. "Mou," complained Scott, stamping her foot in frustration. "There aren't any bishounen to *find* around here. They've all been caught!" She blinked. "I just said 'mou' and stamped my foot in frustration, didn't I?" "You did," said Dan. "It was quite cute," grinned Ard. "..." Illyria agreed. "I have *got* to get out of here..." Scott moaned. "I'll be mooning over some masked bishounen if this goes on long enough!" "You even went on a date with a guy once," said Steve. "Ouch," he went on to say. Scott retracted her leg. "Never. Speak. Of. That. Again," she hissed. "Yes ma'am!" Steve said, springing to attention. "Ouch," he said again. Scott retracted her foot from a different spot of Steve's anatomy. "Don't. Call. Me. Ma'am." "Instinct," said Steve. "Comes from martial arts training back home." He saw her glare. "All right, all right, I won't mention the date again, and I won't call you 'Ma'am'." "Guys!" said Kate. "We have to find a bishounen or two here, remember?" "Well where do we find some bishounen then?" asked Scott. "We could just go in the opposite direction to everyone else until we find the bishounen source," said Steve. "Or we could just ask," suggested Ard. She stepped towards a man carrying a handful of bishounen along and smiled at him. "Excuse me, sir, but where has everyone found these bishounen, may I ask?" "The Bishounen Catching Grounds, just on that side of the city," said the man, and pointed in the opposite direction he'd been going. "Good luck, miss!" "Guess that answers that," said Illyria. "Let's go." ^_- The Bishounen Catching Grounds were a *very* large field, on which wild bishounen frolicked. Or brooded, depending on their nature. There were all sorts - the willowy ones, the tall semi-buff ones, the long-haired ones, the short-haired ones, the ones with glasses, the ones with odd eye colours, and many many more. It was like the grounds of the Isle of Bishounen, only not as large. It was a bishounen-watcher's heaven. To catch a bishounen, you needed a collar, which cost a small fortune. Thankfully, their trip to the city of Delfi had involved quite a lot of random encounters, and thus the party's funds were more than adequate for several collars. Next, you needed to attract a bishounen's attention. Seeing as the attention spans of a typical wild bishounen were so short, this was easier said than done. However, it turned out that Damien's bright plumage fascinated the bishounen. They came crowding around, pointing at his feathers, saying things like "So colourful!" and "Looks so soft..." Damien was worried, but the bishounen didn't seem to be harmful. Eventually he relaxed. The third step in catching a bishounen was to land a collar around his neck. Considering how docile they were around Damien, this was amazingly easy. Finally, once the collar was on his neck, a bishounen would stop and ask a question about himself - things such as what was his greatest motivation, his star sign, or who his older brother was. If you got the answer wrong then the bishounen slipped out of the collar and ran away. They went through quite a few before Kate recognised all these as related to Quadruple Bypass. "Quadruple Bypass?" asked Illyria. "How?" Kate pulled out a Dan Hibiki card. "Like this. See? On this side there's a picture of Dan and the stats and arrows and so on that you use to play the game. On the other side there's a few fun facts about the character." She turned the card over. "'His father, Go Hibiki, took out Sagat's eye, enraging him so much that Sagat killed him! Dan has sworn vengeance!' See?" Illyria indicated the nearest bishounen, a tall lanky fellow with olive skin and long silky hair partially obscuring one eye. "So?" "So this!" Kate rummaged through her deck and pulled out a card that had the bishounen's likeness on it, and read the Fun Facts. "'Alberto likes gorgonzola cheese and rockmelon flavour icecream.'" Steve looped the collar over the unprotesting Alberto's neck. "What flavour ice cream do I like?" asked the bishounen. "Rockmelon," said Illyria. A slight inflection indicated he didn't believe this was going to work. But amazingly, it did. Alberto asked no more questions and stood there docilely. When Steve gave an experimental tug on the leash, Alberto took a step forwards to avoid falling forwards and resumed standing there. "Not as fun as the actual Quadruple Bypass game," mused Kate. "Let's catch a few more." ^_- A few more turned into about twenty. Steve eyed them nervously. "Do we really need this many?" he asked. "Oh come on, Steve, let us have some fun," said Ardweden, giggling. "..." Illyria chimed in. "It's just that we've spent all the party's money on getting all the extra collars. We won't be able to catch any more, is what I'm saying." "Oh all right," sighed Kate. "Ooh! An Irvine lookalike! Let me catch him!" ^_- It was some time later. A protesting Dan, Steve, and Scott had been sent out to fight more monsters and look for more money. The result of their efforts could be seen in the forty-strong crowd of bishounen trailing obediently along behind Illyria, Ard, and Kate. The collecting efforts had only stopped when the Catching Grounds had closed for the day. "And we only have 5 half-gil coins left," moaned Steve. "We're going to have to go through at least another *ten* fights just to get enough money for an inn tonight, and it's already late in the afternoon." "Steve, you worry too much," said Ardweden. "Probably," the Sidekick sighed. "But look at all the bishounen!" said Kate dreamily. "I wonder if we can keep some?" "Oh gods..." mumbled Scott. "As our fearless leader I say it wouldn't be a good idea," said Dan. "We're leading up to what is probably the final, most dangerous part of the quest, and we don't need any distractions. Also, we'd have to feed them and stuff. Feeding seven people is already pretty expensive." "NEXT!" shouted the guards guarding the Oracle of Delfi. The party stepped forwards. When the guards saw Ardweden's face they dropped to the ground and started kowtowing. "Delfina-kama-sama! We did not know you were there! Forgive us for making you wait!" "Er, I'm not her," said Ardweden. "I'm just her twin." They stayed on the ground. "If you are her twin, you are also a goddess! Tell us your whim!" "It's a long and complicated story," said Ardweden. Steve sneezed. "Must be coming down with something..." he said. The guards were having trouble understanding Ardweden's story. "But you *must* be a goddess!" "Can we just go inside please?" asked Ardweden. "Certainly O great sister of Delfina-kami-sama!" shouted the guards. The two jumped to their feet and placed their spear heads against each other in a really short guard of honour. "Please, you and your fellows, enter!" They did so. "Well well well," said Robin, the Oracle. "We meet again." "So we do. Is ColdFury or Delfina here?" asked Dan. Robin waggled an accusatory finger. "That's 'Delfina-kami-sama' at the least, please." "Is Tsuin-chan here?" "That's-" Robin started, but was cut off by Delfina's voice. "Well, not really," is what Delfina's voice said. "But I see you caught me a lot of bishounen, so I'm feeling pretty well disposed to you guys at the moment." "Hi Tsuin-chan! Can you come?" "I'm a bit busy with Phoebe and Todd at the moment. What's the problem?" "We think ColdFury brought an orb to you with the soul of Xelloss in it," Ardweden explained. "We rather need the soul of Xelloss to tell us where he's hidden something. Once he's finished doing that we'll bring him back." "Yes, ColdFury did bring me that. You must give your word you'll bring him back." "We do," said Ardweden. Nothing happened. "What about the rest of you?" Delfina's voice asked. "We do," said everybody else. "Remember that," said Delfina. "'kay, Robin, give 'em the orb." He did so. "Thanks guys! You can leave the bishounen here." "Wait!" shouted Steve. "How do we get Xelloss out of the orb and back in again?" Delfina's voice sounded embarrassed. "Oh, right. Robin, the disk please." Robin retrieved a disk from a nearby cupboard and gave it to Dan. "This holds a really complicated containment program. Only one of its kind. You'd better bring this back intact too, alright?" ^_- It was not very long later. The Destined Heroes (plus Mascot and more ambulatory Seal) were standing in a field outside the city, to minimise danger to other people. "Now remember, we may have to fight. This forcefield program I'm running should stop him getting away, so he'll be extra pissed off. Everyone ready?" asked Dan. Everybody nodded, except the Bishounen Seal, who was chewing his hair. "I'll take that as a yes." Dan took a deep breath and activated the program on Robin's disk. There was a complete absence of special effects, and Xelloss was standing in front of them. The orb dropped to the ground behind him, bounced a couple of times, and rolled a few inches. "-at you!" Xelloss said. Then he looked around and looked confused. "What's happening?" "Sore wa himitsu desu," said Ardweden, giggling. Xelloss didn't frown, but he did smile darkly. "Very funny." A moment passed, then Xelloss looked even more confused. "Why can't I teleport out of here?" "Sore wa himitsu desu," said Dan. "Now, tell us where my Battery Seal is." "Ah, sore wa himitsu desu." "Can we just say 'That is a secret' in English, please?" asked Steve. He was ignored. "Tell me where my Battery Seal is, or else." "What can you do to me, boy?" "Well, I'd like to say 'Sore wa himitsu desu', but it won't be a secret for much longer." Dan made a few adjustments to the Xelloss-retrieval program with the control panel on his wrist, and Xelloss' left leg disappeared into the orb. He teetered crazily and fell over. "Hey!" Quickly regathering his wits, Xelloss regenerated the limb and stood up. "Was that supposed to hurt me? Incidentally, running those two programs together must be really straining your resources. You probably only have five minutes left, at that." "Sore wa himitsu desu," said Dan. "Now, tell me where the Seal is!" "Sore wa- Hey! Stop that!" Xelloss said as his right arm disappeared into the orb. "Xelloss, we know you want all the Seals," said Steve. "You know we want all the Seals. We're not giving ours to you without a fight." He picked up the pile of Seals and dropped them at the Bishounen Seal's feet. "So why don't we fight for them?" "Interesting. How do you know I won't cheat?" "I don't." "Steve, what the hell are you doing?" everybody else asked. "Trust me," he said. "...fine," said Xelloss. "Move the Seals in here, then I'll tell you where the last Seal is. I obviously won't be able to teleport away with them with this shield in place." Steve picked up the Seals and guided the Bishounen Seal firmly by the shoulder. Xelloss moved to the edge of the forcefield, grinning widely. Then Steve stopped walking. "What is it?" asked Xelloss. "I'll come no further without the Battery Seal. Where is it?" "Well, *you* should know. It's at the bottom of your backpack, isn't it?" A lot of things were said almost simultaneously. "Huh?" asked Steve. "I'm almost out of power!" said Dan. "Your backpack? That means... you!" Scott shouted. "You must be the traitor!" "HOW COULD YOU, STEVE?!" yelled Kate, Ardweden, and Damien. "...!" said Illyria. "You've got it wrong!" shouted Steve. Then a lot of things happened so quickly that they were almost simultaneous: Damien dived for cover. Steve emulated Dan. Dan's suit disappeared and his forcefield and Xelloss containment programs stopped running. Xelloss descended on Steve along with almost everybody else. Steve ran an anti-Mazoku forcefield program around himself and Xelloss. Dan started shouting advice, seeing as that was all he could do until his mecha suit recharged. Scott fired a Pink Heart Sugar Wai Crusher at Steve. Steve ducked and the Pink Heart Sugar Wai Crusher went over his head and hit Xelloss in the face at the same time Illyria's sword and Kate's shuriken swished through where Steve's head had been and opened a nasty gash on Xelloss' head. Seeing as he was a Mazoku, this didn't hurt him much. Ardweden hit Steve in the stomach and he fell back, stunned. Xelloss took advantage of Steve's stunned state to grab his backpack. He turned it upside down and a huge number of things fell out of it. The last items to fall out were an orange well past its use-by date and the Battery Seal. Steve's bandanna flashed as he started emulating everyone around him. There was a moment of confusion, and then the conflict between 'bishounen' and 'magical girl' settled on an overall gender of female. The less said about her resultant outfit the better. Ardweden followed up her punch to Steve's stomach with a rising kick to the chin. It hit the reinforced chin of Steve's metal helmet and she grabbed at her sore foot, cursing. Xelloss swooped upon the Battery Seal. Steve's trenchcoat turned tartan and she swung around, drawing a sword and slicing Xelloss' head off in the same movement and followed it up with a gatling gun and something that was apparently called the Pinkly Purple Pegasus Wai Ex Crusher. Illyria's sword cut through the tartan trenchcoat and bounced off Steve's backplate. Xelloss' head said "ouch" and his highly singed body made a grab for it. Steve took advantage of Xelloss' current condition and her heightened speed, ducked away from everyone, grabbed all the Seals and made a jump for it. Kate's shuriken flew through where Steve's head had been and hit Illyria in the leg. Steve smacked into the forcefield. "Of course," she thought, "I'm emulating Xelloss, a Mazoku, as well." She concentrated on not emulating Xelloss. Illyria instinctively slashed in the direction the shuriken had come from, went through Steve's trenchcoat and hit Steve in her bare thigh. The sword buried itself in her leg and got stuck. Due to Steve's sudden impact against the forcefield, the Seals jarred loose from Steve's grip and went through the shimmering blue wall. Xelloss finally got his head back on. Steve's emulation of Xelloss stopped and she started screaming as she fell through the forcefield. Everyone realised that Steve had thrown the Seals *outside* the forcefield and Xelloss was still on the inside and decided to reassess their assessment of Steve as the traitor. Illyria, Kate, Ard and Scott realised they were on the inside of the forcefield with an angry Mazoku and no further reason to stay there, and jumped for it. Xelloss's dark magic smacked into the side of the forcefield. Some of it made it through, and everybody ducked, but a fair amount stayed on the inside as well and singed the Mazoku. Things went back to normal speed. "MY LEG!" screamed Steve. "AAAAAAAAAAAH!" "It's not far enough to have gone through the bone," said Illyria. "It'll heal." He frowned doubtfully. "I think." "Someone... forcefield... I can't keep it up..." moaned Steve. "In just a few moments she'll be unconscious and this shield will be gone," said Xelloss, smiling unpleasantly. Ardweden, Kate, and Scott stood up and glared at Xelloss. They readied their weapons. Illyria was injured and didn't have his weapon; and Dan's suit needed to recharge. They stayed down beside Steve, seeing to her. "Steve!" Dan hissed. He held out Robin's disk. "Load this!" Steve took the disk. Concentrating hard, trying not to let the pain in her leg overcome her and cause her to faint, she put the disk in the drive slot. A bar appeared on her visor. It was empty, and started to fill as the program loaded. It was so slow, and the pain in her leg so intense! She'd never see it through! Did she even have enough power to hold the forcefield for long enough? "...!" Illyria urged. "Yeah, hold on!" shouted Dan. "How much longer till it loads?" "Bar... it's half...full... Power... Five per...cent..." "Shit!" said Dan. "It'll never load in time! Everyone get ready to fight! Drop the forcefield, Steve!" She shook her head. "Can't! He'll... get... away!" "Drop it! He might stay for the Seals!" "Not... after you... said... that!" Xelloss grinned. "She's right." Steve looked at the bar. Almost full. She looked at her power indicator. Three percent. She might make it. There was a ding as the program finally loaded. The power requirement was two percent. The amount of power left ticked down to two percent. There was only one way forward. She dropped the forcefield and then ran the Xelloss-containment program. There was a poof and some smoke and then the orb was rolling around on the ground. "Did... I... get him? Had... to... drop field." Dan frowned at the orb. "I'm not sure. But either you did or he's not here. Someone get the Seals together! Scott, see if you can't protect them somehow. Everybody else, get here NOW! Steve's hurt and needs healing!" "Get her to drop everything except the magical girl form," said Scott as she picked up the Seals. "It has the fastest healing." Steve's costume changed to that of just a magical girl's. It was hard to tell if she was healing faster or not as the sword was still stuck in her leg. "Get that sword out of her leg," said Damien. He was striding purposefully towards Steve, pulling feathers out of his wings with his beak. "Use these." Steve screamed again as Illyria removed the sword as gently as possible, and then fainted. So she completely missed the phoenix down closing and curing the nasty wound in her leg. Her ragged breathing slowly turned regular. "Steve... wasn't the traitor?" said Scott. "No, I don't think he was," said Dan. "But it sure seemed like it, at first." He growled, and punched the ground. "Xelloss is getting too good at making us distrust each other." Ardweden picked up the orange that had fallen out of Steve's backpack with the Battery Seal. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Guys, this thing is smelly and old and horrible. It looks abandoned. If the Seal was with it then there's a good chance Steve didn't even know he had it." "We have all the Seals now," said Dan. "We have to find this Altar thingy." Steve let out a snore. "After Steve wakes up, of course." (To be concluded) Author's Notes ============== Yikes. That got a bit naughty in places, and nasty in others. And this is supposed to be a chibi... well, it's a chibi, but one with a story, and it's the second-last part, so things *are* going to start heating up. Plus I wanted to do *something* with the whole 'Steve might die in his role as a sidekick' thing. He didn't actually die, but he did come close a few times. ;p You'll notice I left the question of whether Xelloss was caught or escaped open. I was wondering who would be the main villain fought in the final chapter if Xelloss was stuck back in that orb. There have been hints at other main bad guys, but Xelloss has been it for most of the impro, and it wasn't much of a fight this chapter. I'll let Scott decide. Thanks must go to Dan Mastriani and Kate Malloy for prereading. Thanks for reading. Steven Scougall 24/01/02 http://www.crosswinds.net/~sscougall/