At the sound of the tone, the time will be 4:06pm in a party not far away... IMPRO PARTY Episode VII A BLUE HOPE It is a period of Improvisation. Authors, striking from the upper floors of Chez Impro, have won their first battle against the Evil Epsilon Empire Consisting of Only Epsilon and His Lackey, Blade. At the beginning of the battle, the Impro people managed to get a glimpse of Epsi's ultimate weapon, the MECHA TOM GREEN, an armored veejay with the power to destroy Epsilon's house. Pursued by...uh...nobody anymore, Twoflower and friends race home aboard the Champaigne Minivan, custodian of the consoles and TV that can save their happiness and restore insanity to the party... *** They finally made it home. Of course, as soon as they did, just about everyone separated again and went off in their different ways. For instance, Jess raced over to W4 and, with a cry of "SCOTT!", glomped him. This, in turn, made W4 faint, thereby allowing Jess to drag W4 into a bedroom. There was also Twoflower, Roe, and Jake, who all ran off to the gaming room to set everything up for the Ultimate Gaming Session. *** Leonardo DiCaprio was still frozen stuck. This could be proven by the fact that his "I'm Leonardo DiClearinghouse! No, seriously!" sign was still stuck to his face. Not that it mattered to our story. What DID matter was that nihility and Aaron were finally done using him as a rowboat. They had gotten back to shore, dragged him back to Chez Impro, and stuck him back in the iceberg. (After all, they didn't want to be the ones who accidentally released evil spirits.) However, their relief was shortlived as the Champaigne Minivan accidentally crashed into the side of the iceberg, sending them back into the depths of the Pacific Ocean. (But not quite as far, this time.) In the meanwhile, Todd and everyone had gotten the karaoke party back up and it was going full blast. The sounds of "Konya Wa Hurricane" could be heard very, very faintly...in Kansas, and everyone was cheering Hsien-ko (who had metamorphised somewhere along the way and became Myth), who requested not to be made "prissy" but never said anything about being made "Priss." I think I'd better run now. *** Meanwhile, in another room, Twoflower set up the Playstation and nonchalantly started a quiet game of MegaMan X^2. Oh, wait, that's completely wrong. Actually, Jake and Roe got ahold of the Playstation. Although it's not completely neccessary, this is a list of sounds that followed immediately after: "OOSHA!" "DOSHITA DOSHITA!" "GADOUKEN!" "OOSHA!" "YAHOOIE!" "YATAZE!" "GADOUKEN!" "OOSHA!" *** Calculus was sitting in the back of the karaoke parlor, enjoying himself. Then the Turing machine known as BlackMage came in. Luckily for the two of them, they were far back enough that BlackMage did NOT set off the speakers again. However, someone inputted a question of how much 1024 times 768 was, so he was busy computing. At the same time, BlackMage walked into the room and saw the Turing Machine. Curious as to what it was, he stepped up to it and did some interrogation: "Uh, Calc, what's this exactly?" "That's BlackMage." BlackMage (NOT the Turing Machine)'s eye twitched. "Who are you, anyway?" Calculus asked BlackMage (NOT the Turing Machine). "He's BlackMage," commented Lawrence as he walked off. "786432...doodz where did HE come from?" asked BlackMage (the Turing Machine). BlackMage (NOT the Turing Machine)'s veins began to pop. "Beats me, BlackMage," commented Calculus to BlackMage (the Turing Machine). BlackMage (NOT the Turing Machine) finally blew a fuse (not literally) and cast [LIT3] on the Turing Machine. [Critical hit!!] [562DMG] [Terminated] And the Turing Machine faded away into nothingness. However, the crowd whose ears burst after the [LIT3] spell destroyed the sound system (again) didn't. Matter of fact, they were quite upset over having the sound system blown out (again). Are we ready for some of the old...Ultra-Violence? I thought so. "OH, SH--" *** "Say...who's missing here?" Delfina asked Omi. "Hmm...some of the DGMLers, I guess. Jonatan...PHOEBE! We HAVE to have Phoebe!" "But what about Jonatan?" "Phoebe first, THEN Jonatan. We have some conspiring to do!" Delfina and Omi shared an evil-yet-cute cackle between them. "...but how are we gonna get Phoebe?" Delfina grinned. "Leave that to me. Oh, Damien-chaaan!" Suddenly Damien appeared out of nowhere. Actually, he popped up from behind the couch they were sitting on. "Yes?" "We need you to this one little favor...could you get Phoebe for--" Before Delfina finished the sentence, Damien was off to New Zealand on his bicycle. (Don't ask how. The Mystery Machine can drive to China, so why can't a bike go to Oz?) "...wait a minute...I think I'm forgetting something...oh! Omi, what's with the shinypants?" Omi held up the two legs of Shinypanted goodness. "Um...well, W4's supposed to wear them later on...I hope..." *** Somewhere, a clown cried. But that's beside the point. However, there WAS something going on in one of the bedrooms that WAS the point. A faint "Mmm...", to be precise. This voice could be identified as Scott, also known as W4. Another sound, that of a voice that could be identified as Jess, could be heard. It was another "Mmm..." sound, akin to that of a panther ready to pounce on her prey. She was about to give Scott everything she had. "You like?" Jess asked in a coy voice. "Mm-hm!" W4 agreed. He was in LOOOOVE. "Here, just let me...oops! That can stain, you know." "Mmm!" "All over my shirt, too." "Mm-hm." "I'm going to wash it out now," replied Jess. "Mmm." W4 couldn't say much more, because his mouth was full of the best hot dog he had ever tasted. Meanwhile, Jess went to get the ketchup off her shirt. It can stain, you know. *** "DOSHITA DOSHITA!" "YAHOOIE!" "GADOUKEN!" "ORA ORA ORA!" "SAKENA!" "OOSHA!" *** Chris looked at Ravi. "And who's next on our list?" Ravi looked at Chris. "I don't know. Who do you think should be on our list?" "If you guys can find Ash, get him," suggested Lawrence as he walked off. "...Where did he come from?" asked a puzzled Ravi. Chris grinned evilly. "I don't know, but he's next." Bwahahahackcoughugh. *** Somehow, the sound system was fixed, and BlackMage found himself in a decent condition after the severe beating. "Ow..." Assuming, of course, that decent condition included the fact that he was bruised, had three bumps on his head, and was Chibified to boot. Of course, that last bit was actually a good thing, because now, the slightest distraction could instantly heal him. "Hey, where'd this new draft of JuKyoCha come in from?" Then someone passed by him. And he REALLY started healing. "OOH! STEPHI-CHAAAAN!" *** Ravi tapped someone on the back of his shoulder. "'Scuse me, are you Lawrence Chu?" "Um, you must have me confused with my cousin Guybrush." "I don't think so." "Wha*ghag*" *** "YAHOOIE!" "IKUZORA!" "GADOUKEN!" "OOSHA!" "DOSHITA DOSHITA!" "YAHOOIE!" "OOSHA!" "KOREZO SAIKYO RYUU!" "GADOUKEN!" *** Jess stepped out of the bedroom and immediately ran into Chef Kenichi. Jess looked a bit confused until she read the subtitles. Chen looked a bit confused until he read the subtitles. Jess bowed to him. Chef Kenichi bowed back. And she dug in. Ah...STILL not as good as a hot dog. *** Lawrence found himself tied to a chair. At the same time, he noticed Chris and Ravi strutting around in capes and someone wearing a kawaii aardvark mascot suit. Things like this called for only one question: "'Scuse me, but exactly what are you doing?" "PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE IMPRO INQUISITION!" "Oh. That. Wouldn't it sound better if you called it the Improsition?" A long pause. "That wasn't too good a joke, was it?" "SILENCE, HERETIC! YOUR CHAPTER IN DO-GOODERS WAS HORRENDOUS! NO ONE SHOULD HAVE EXPERIENCED SUCH A GUT-WRENCHING 20 KILOBYTES OF ABSOLUTE NOTHINGNESS!" Chris was doing quite a good impression of Haohmaru. "Well, fine. But I'll tell you that I wasn't expecting the--" "NO ONE EXPECTS THE IMPRO INQUISITION! SURPRISE IS OUR KEY ELEMENT! That and improvisation. SURPRISE AND IMPROVISATION ARE OUR KEY ELEMENTS!" "wasn't i supposed to finish the sentence first?" Lawrence asked in a really small voice. "Ravi, bring me the fluffy pillows!" The screams echoed throughout the house, but people were getting the noise confused with the Karaoke party (which happened to be Twoflower singing "Eraser") so nobody noticed. *** "OOSHA!" "YAHOOIE!" "DOSHITA DOSHITA!" "OOSHA!" "OORRRRRA!" "GADOUKEN!" "KOREZO SAIKYO RYUU!" "BRAAA!" "OORRRRRA!" *** *whff* *whff* *whff* Damien peddled his way back to the party. Immediately, Delfina and Omi jumped on him. "Damien-chaaaan!" "GAH!" "Where's Phoebe-chan?" That was the last thing Damien had to hear. "I...*wheeze*...looked all over...*huff*...New Zealand and...*whff*...couldn't find her!" "Oh, that's because she's in Japan." "AAAUGH!" *thump* "Um, Damien-chan?" The mud was seeping into his clothes... *** "KOREZO SAIKYO RYUU!" "OOSHA!" "YATA GOMENEH YOYUSSU!" "GADOUKEN!" "ORA ORA ORA!" "SAKENA!" "OOSHA!" "YAHOOIE!" "BRAAAA!" "HISSHOU ORAORAORAORAORADADA! BURAIKEN!" "You win." "OYAJIIIIIII!" *** Author's notes: For those who don't understand Japanese (myself included) what Jess's subtitles can roughly be translated as: Nanda yo? Aa, nihongo desu...un. Un, takoyaki oneegai! = Wha--? Oh, it's Japanese...sure. Sure, I'll have some tako (octopus) sushi, please! Arigatou gozaimasu, Kenichi-sensei. = Thank you, Chef Kenichi. Itadakimasu! = Uh, there's no actual translation for this, but it's said before people eat. It's kinda like saying grace. Thanks to DamienRoc, BlackMage, and Dan Wood for their suggestions. Extra kudos to BlackMage, ravi and Calculus for their prereading. Apologies for everyone about the shortness of this chapter, I'm kinda in a bind at school... Lawrence chu_bear@hotmail.com