It would make sense to continue from where Chu's part ended.  It really
would, but it would also make sense to explain how certain party goers
began their journey towards sunny California.  So, bear with me while we
have a little flashback to earlier that morning in a place not in
California.  In a home that is not Chez Impro.

The young man in the focus of our flashback sat at his computer, taking a
look at the massive flood of messages in his mailbox.  One of them in
particular might have held some relevance to the events that were about to
unfold around him.  It read:  "So how would you like to be kidnapped?"

Nothing more, nothing less.  The message had been sent the previous
night, and its sender hadn't even bothered to sign their name to the
bottom of it.  Not that it was really needed.  Not many people sent him
messages asking how he wanted to be kidnapped.  For some odd reason he
actually went about  considering how he would want to be kidnapped.  In
his opinion, it was very improbable that such a kidnapping would ever 
occur, but there was no danger in formulating a plan about how it would
ideally be carried out.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. The guy jumped in his seat, then turned
around with a quizzical expression. He got up and walked to the door,
opened it, and opened the outer door to see--

"THERE you are!"

"...Er--"

"Do you know how hard it was to find this place?" The girl grabbed his
arm and yanked him outside. "Come on! We're going to California!"

"What? But I--"

"No buts! Come on!"

"Wait! Wait! At least let me lock the door!..."

And with that said, let's return to the present and begin:

                                        Impro
                                        Party

               Episode Eight: The Hitchhiker's Guide to Impro

   
   In which, some stuff happens and hopefully at least a few people are
somewhat close to being IC.  

Warning: No Impro people were harmed in the making of this part, but the
reading of it is another matter.

~*~

Time is irrelevant.  But if it was relevant, which it isn't, let's just
say that some of it must have passed since the last time check when we
learned it was already 4:06 pm.

Honestly, you could ask anyone at the Party, and you'd be guaranteed that
they'd all have their watches set at different times.  Though, they all
should at least been using the correct time zone.  So that would make
sometime past 4:06 pm, Pacific time.

What the hell, let's say it's 5:16.  And PST 5:16 says it's time to get
on with the story.

~*~

W4 swallowed the last of the hot dog and got up. Jess had spoken to
him...he had "mmmed" to her.  Maybe things were getting better.  Maybe
this was a sign that he was now able to handle being in crowds.

Of course this burst of happiness was cut short when he remembered the
ketchup stain on his clothes, and that Jess was no longer in the room.  

W4 got up, and went out into the hallway to find her.

~*~

*RING*

Ardweden, who was the closest to the source of the noise, answered the
phone.  Of course it was hard to do that in an aardvark costume, but
somehow she managed.

"Hello, Impro Party," she said, and then smiled.  "Hi, it's good to hear
you too.  Can you speak up, I can't really hear you over the music..."

Lusipher, who happened to be walking by, stopped to ask. "Who is it?"

"My boyfriend," she replied.

"Oh, okay."  He replied, and then continued on his way wondering who
brought the cute talking aardvark to the party.

~*~

Somewhere on 8 West, two individuals were walking along the highway.
Well, one was walking on the side of it, actually right on top of the
white shoulder line.  The other was more inside the line.

"Had I known you couldn't drive we could have avoided this problem," the
girl told him.

"I assumed *you* knew how to drive," the young man replied.  "You were
just going to *walk* to this party?"

She shrugged.  "Or hitchhike.  I've always wanted to hitchhike."

"That's illegal you know."

"Only if you get caught."  She looked up at the cloudy sky.  "Hmm...I
wonder if it'll rain."  She shrugged.  "Oh well.  So...you think it's
far?"

He stopped.  "Don't tell me you don't know where we're supposed to go."

"Oh, no," she waved a hand dismissively.  "That sign back there said it
was 20 kilometers.  I was just wondering if you knew if that was
excessively far."

"20 what?"

"Kilometers."

"That sign was in miles," he told her.

She blinked.  Twice.  "Oh, I suppose it *would* be, wouldn't it."

"Let's stop at that gas station up ahead," he told her.  "I've got a
couple calls to make."

"To someone who can drive?"

"Why?  It's such a nice day..." he remarked, "and walking is very good
exercise."

~*~

Delfina and Omi were in the process of getting refreshments.  Waiting for
Damien Roc to return from Japan was making them thirsty.

"Do you really think he'll bring Phoebe?" Omi asked.

"He seemed pretty determined," Delfina replied.  "Once he got up off the
ground, that is."

"But...how's he gonna get over the ocean on a bike?"

"He got to New Zealand, didn't he?"

"Oh, point."  Omi took a sip of her drink.  "So, who else from DGML,
besides Phoebe and Jonatan, isn't here?"

Delfina thought for a moment.  "P-kun, and I don't recall seeing Steven,
or Eslington, or Katy..."

"Oh, and John Evans isn't here either."

"I wouldn't count on John showing up," Lusipher said, as he came into the
room.  "He said once that he wasn't a real 'party' kind of person."

"Oh, hi, Lus," Delfina said.  "I think I was in #Improfanfic when he said
that.  Funny, I can't remember who was trying to get him to come..."

"Me either."  Lusipher shrugged.  "So...um, Del...I don't suppose you'd
like to go for a walk."

She smiled.  "Sure, we've probably got time before DR gets back."

"Yeah, great idea, Lus," Omi added.  "I'd love to look around the house."

Lusipher sweatdropped.  So much for being alone with Delfina...

~*~

Once more, Todd stepped up to the karaoke mic.  Remembering his awesome
previous performances, the party goers applauded.  Or maybe they
applauded just because Twoflower was done "singing".

Either way, there was applause.

Todd raised the microphone, and the audience strained, listening for some
faint intro music, a clue as to what he might treat them with next.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you guys that you were an excellent
audience, and I've had fun..." Todd trailed off.  "But..."

"But...?" echoed several guests.

"But unfortunately, I'm going to have to leave the party now.  I have to
study for a very important exam."  He waved.  "But don't worry, I'll be
back as soon as I can.  Later!"

With that he handed the mic back to Twoflower, and walked out the door.

"Anyone else want to karaoke?" Twoflower asked.

"I'll give it a shot," one brave party member announced, and made their
way to the front of the crowd.

~*~

Chris turned to Ravi.  "I think we're finished with this one."

"You're free to go now," Ravi told Lawrence.  

Lawrence muttered something and spat out a pillow feather.  As he walked
out the door Ravi held open he tried to get some of the rest of the
feathers out of his hair.

Ravi closed the door behind him.  "What now?" he asked Chris.

"Patience, something will come to me..." Chris replied.  "Say, what
happened to our aardvark mascot?"

"Oh, she left during the fluffy pillow business to get a drink."

"And you just LET her walk out?"

"Well, yeah, she was thirsty."

"Oh."

"Can I leave now?" Ravi asked.  "I am supposed to be bartending, you
know."

Just then the door opened and NeoVid stuck his head inside.  It was good
that he did because it saved Chris having to come up with an answer for
his assistant's question.

"Hey, this isn't a bathroom," NeoVid remarked.  "Sorry, my mistake."

Chris grinned a very inquisitional grin.  "Fool, you DARE attempt to
infiltrate the secret base of the Impro Inquisition?"

NeoVid blinked and looked at the two guys in heavy obsfuscatory cloaks.
"No, I was just looking for the bathroom, honest."

"FOOL!"  Chris advanced forward.  "NO ONE attempts to SURPRISE the Impro 
Inquisition and escapes unpunished!"

"But I was just looking for the bathroom-"

"SILENCE!  Sub-Commander, bring me the plastic spatula!"

Ravi sighed.  "The blue one or the tan one?"

"BOTH!"

NeoVid scratched his head.  "Do plastic spatulas even exist?

~*~

The phone rang again.  Roe picked it up.  "Chez Impro.  Roe, who just
finished defeating Jake Wallace, speaking."

"This is Rain," the guy on the other end said.  "I was supposed to call
for directions."

"Oh, sure.  Take the 10 West to the 5 South.  Then take the 5 South to
the 8 West until you hit the ocean.  Got it?"

"10 west to 5 south to 8 west to the ocean.  Got it," Rain replied.

"Don't forget your floaties," Roe added.

"Right.  Thanks, Roe."

"See you soon."  Roe hung up the phone.  "So, Jake, you want to play
again?"

"Nah..." Jake shook his head.  "I think I'll go get a drink first."

~*~

The young man hung the phone up, and walked back to where the girl was
sitting on top of a picnic table.

"All set," he told her.

"For what?"

"That's a secret."

The girl took three sips of a cherry bomb jolt.  "Does it have to do with
the Party?"

"Yes."

She pouted.  "You didn't tell them we were on our way did you?  It was
supposed to be a surprise."

"It will be," he assured her.  "I just asked a friend to set up another
surprise for me."

"And that is?"

"You're certain you don't want it to be a surprise?"

"Knowing secrets is better than being surprised," she replied.  "Share."

"Let's keep going. I'll tell you on the way."  He began to walk away.
The girl shrugged and followed.

~*~

Jake got halfway to the kitchen when he saw the aardvark talking on the
phone.  Actually, it was someone in an aardvark costume, but you never
can tell at first glance.  Those aardvarks are tricky creatures.

"YOU'RE WHAT?" The girl in the aardvark costume exclaimed.  "Say that
again?"  Whoever was on the other end of the line said something, and she
started to cry.  "Yeah, yeah...we'll talk later.  Bye."

"I do not believe this!" the girl in the aardvark costume exclaimed,
hanging up the phone.

"Don't believe what?" Jake asked, wondering why anyone would be wearing
an aardvark costume at Impro party.  Not that it wasn't a really cute
aardvark costume, it was just that there weren't many aardvarks in anime,
after all.  Not many in Impros either.

"My boyfriend of two years just broke up with me," the aardvark told him,
sniffling.  "I can't believe he did it over the phone long distance..."

"Ard!" Delfina cried, coming from the kitchen with Omi and Lusipher.  "I
thought I heard you."  She ran over and hugged the other girl.  "What's
wrong?"

"My boyfriend decided he's gay," Ardweden explained.  Omi and Delfina
gasped.  They both proceeded to hug Ardweden.

"Tough break," Jake said, not sure what else to say, and trying not to
think about homosexual aardvarks.

"Man...that sucks," Lusipher offered, also not quite sure what to say.

Ardweden sniffled.  "I can't believe he told me over the phone..."

"And long distance too," Omi added, fuming.  "That jerk!"

"Cheer up, Ard," Delfina told her.  "I know what'll help..." She turned
and looked at Lusipher.  "You wouldn't mind being chibified for a good
cause, would you?"

Lusipher gluped.  Delfina smiled.  "C'mon, Ard, let's go on a chibifying
spree!"

"I'll bring my aura of jello," Omi grinned.  "It'll be fun!"

Ardweden grinned in a slightly unbalanced way at Jake.  "Heh."

Jake looked at Lusipher.  Lusipher looked at Jake.  They both went SD.

"Sucks to be us right now," SD Lusipher told SD Jake.

~*~

And yet again the phone was ringing.  Roe was really glad Jake hadn't
gotten back from getting his drink because at the rate it was going they
would have never gotten that rematch finished.

"Chez Impro, Roe speaking."

"Hey, this is Fatman.  I'm gonna be a little late."

"Why?  Did you get lost?" Roe asked.

"No, my rental car broke down," Fatman explained.  "I'm working on
getting something better to get me to the party."

"Okay, thanks for calling."  Roe replied, and hung up.  "What is taking
Jake SO long?"  He set the controller down, and stood up.  It was time to
find out.

~*~

Ravi dug around in the back of his car.  "Now I know I saw a spatula in
here one point..." he grumbled.  "I can't believe it.  At this rate I'll 
never get to actually mingle at the party.  How am I to subject the human
race and rule on high if I spend the whole time as Sub-Commander of the
Impro Inquisition?"  He pulled out a red spatula.  "Everyone knows the
bartender has the REAL power at the party.  I wonder what Chris would do
if I just didn't come back?"  He stopped, and slowly smiled.  "Now there's
an idea..."

~*~

Roe's feeling of victory was ebbing away as he crossed past the front
door of Chez Impro.  He still hadn't managed to find Jake.

He had seen an unusually large number of chibified party members...all of
them male.

And then the phone rang.  Actually, no it didn't.  It was the doorbell
this time, my mistake.  The important thing is that once again Roe felt
the need to answer it.

On the other side of the door was a demon.

"Treat or treat," she said.

"Um, demons aren't allowed within the 5 mile Impro Party radius," Roe
told her.  "I'm afraid you'll have to leave."

In response, the demon girl took out a piece of paper and showed it to
him.  Roe read the paper.  It was a personally addressed Party
invitation.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't recognize you," he told her.  "Come on in, Chaos."

"Um, Roe-kun, I think it would be a better idea if *you* came outside,"
she replied, right wolf-ear twitching.  "There's someone else here you're
gonna wanna see."

"Who?"

"Squall."

"Um, Chaos, didn't you read the rules I sent you?  No fictional
characters allowed."

She blinked.  Twice.  "Oh, not Squall Leonhart.  Squall from DGML.  He's
outside.  Come and say 'hi hi'."

"Really?  He came?  Wow, I didn't think he was a party type of person."
Roe told her, and stepped outside.

Outside the house he saw someone who looked very much like Chrystal from
"Culture Shock", but that was impossible because Chrystal was a fictional
character and fictional characters...

"Oh, you're going to want to talk to Squall about Chrystal from Culture
Shock being here," Chaos told Roe.

"Hai."  Roe sighed, and walked over to the young man standing outside
Chez Impro.  "Hey."

The young man avoided Roe's eyes, but returned the greeting.  "Hey, Roe.
Good to see you."

"I'm glad you decided to come," Roe replied.  "But I have to ask you
something."

"Yes?"

"Didn't you read the rules? No fictional characters allowed!"

The young man grinned, reached into his bag and pulled out...

...a sheaf of paper.

"Indeed I did," he replied. "And it says 'no Anime or Impro characters'.
And even though it's hosted on pixelscapes and is anime-*themed*, Culture
Shock is neither Anime nor Impro. Besides," he said, cutting off another
objection, "I only hired her to do some work on the house. She's leaving
now, and won't be back again. Bye, Chrystal-san!" Chrystal grunted, and
disappeared in a puff of logic.

"...wait...what do you mean, work on the house?"

He grinned again. "I'm glad you asked." Pulling out a NES Advantage
joystick (5 point ref), he pressed a button...

...and the house started to shake.

Roe face-faulted.  "WHAT are you doing?"

"It's a surprise," John Evans replied.

"See, Roe, I did a good thing by kidnapping Squall," Chaos grinned.
"This is gonna be SOOOO cool."

~*~

This part is suck.

Disclaimer:  I accept no responsibility for the actions of any
characters.  Firstly, because most of what I wrote was either suggested
or requested by someone.  And secondly because I never accept
responsibility for what my characters have done. 

My apologizes to those who had requests that I did not incorporate.  I
was a little pressed for time as no doubt you can tell...

Suggestions/requests used came from: Jonatan, Ardweden, Roe, Todd,
Lusipher, and John Evans.

Prereaders: Delfina, Ardweden, Ravi, Myth, Squall...er John Evans and
Damien Roc.

A part of the opening and ending scenes came from John Evans.  And on
that note: Pre-arranged kidnapping is neither really kidnapping nor
illegal so long as you return the person to a close proximity of where
you got them.

Oh yes, and my character isn't dressed up.  I just have been known to say
"trick or treat" when people answer their doors, regardless of the
season.

Okay, unleash the hellhounds.  I'm done.

Lady Chaos