Presenting... ImproParty! Number... Ten, I think. I've got to start paying attention. MiST Opportunities By NeoVid, unfortunately Started by W4 RECAP: Some Party writers would actually write one of those. I'm not gonna and you can't make me. nyah nyah. ================= The scavenger hunt was getting underway... at the pace of a crippled slug dragging a bowling ball. Not a lot of people were joining in. Most of the ones that had were only in as an excuse to get out and wreak hav- um, have fun in town. Two examples of teams forming: Omi and Delfina read the beginning of the list, getting as far as this: "Hmm... Leonardo DeCaprio is worth 150 points!" They looked at each other once, then took off for wherever nihility's iceberg had floated to, stopping only to drag along Dan and Ardweden. NickM picked up a list out of boredom, then stopped when he saw: "'Supermodels- 10 points'? Only ten?" Jonatan shrugged. "This is California." * "Good enough. Anyone want to be on my team?" "heh" "sounds cool" (* Here, Jonatan is making the common mistake of thinking the L.A. area is part of California) ~~~~~~~ Yun Cheolsu awoke. Fingering the dent in his head, he asked, "What did I miss?" "Well," Jonatan started, "The scavenger hunt just got going." "How'd you get anyone interested in-" Jonatan showed him an item on the last page of The List. "...Epsilon's head on a platter is worth 500 points?" A vengeful smile appeared on his face. "I am in!" "Coolness. By the way, am I standing up? I can't tell after that Gargle Blaster." }}}{{{ In what I will imaginitively name the Script Room, Blade was trying (and failing) to find his boss. "I knew Epsi would be here som-" *WHAP* "OW!" "DO NOT-" Epsilon then remembered he was trying to hide, and restricted himself to a harsh whisper. "Do not call me Epsi, you fool." Blade scanned the room blankly. "Where are you? I don't see-" "You never see, idiot. I am brilliantly camoflauged in order to rewrite these scripts undetected. Now, stay out here and play decoy while I continue to be nefarious." He took a handful of printouts and returned to his hiding place in the wall. Epsilon laughed maniacally (but quietly, he was hiding after all) as he read through the Ultra script he had taken. With blackhearted glee, he began to... RESTORE RANMA TO HIS PROPER CHARACTERIZATION!! AHAAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA! /\/\/\/\/\ Aaron and nihility were starting to get worried. The iceberg had drifted so far out that neither of them could see land anymore. They had kept practicing snowboarding to keep their minds off of it, but around the time nihility had mastered the 540 Method, they finally had to admit they had been drifting out here for waaaay too long. In a while, they would probably start talking to the frozen Leonardo. And soon, Leonardo would start talking back... The sound of cracking ice got their attention. nihility started to wish he knew how long icebergs take to melt, as Aaron peered over the side... "Would you look at this? I want to know if it's for real, or if I've gone nuts already." The Ragnarok had shot a line into the berg, and was pulling it to shore. On board the really awesome ship, Omi enthused, "It's great you came back when you did, Todd!" "None of us could think of a way to get to the berg in time," Ardweden told him in a fakely bright tone. "Still angsting over that loser who dumped you?" Omi whispered. "Mmmn," Ardweden said eloquently. "Hey, Todd, can I drive?" Todd glanced at Dan. "Only if I lose my mind." '^'^'^'^' Twoflower put aside the Mysterious Note, and tried to focus on a more important problem. Namely, what to do about the more-than-a-few prospective guests who were still waiting for him to provide transportation. He had to admit, he was now officially In A Fix. The fastest thing they could have used, the Ragnarok, had been taken by Todd. There was only one thing left that even came close, and no one to assign the job to. 'Hmm,' he hmmed, thinking to himself, 'Someone with nothing else in particular to do...' Chance chose that moment to intervene. "Hello, Twoflower," came from under the Highlander hat of the latest arrival. "I saw that anime fans were gatheri-" "Random! You're drafted!" "HUH?! For what?" 2f grabbed him by the front of the purple trench coat and started to pull him toward the back yard. "We're two days in and some people are wondering where their ride is. So we need someone- as in, YOU- to fly this and pick up everyone who can't get around on their own." "And 'this' is..." Random then went uncharacteristically silent as he looked up... and up some more. "A... red dragon." "Yep. It got Jonatan across an ocean in a couple of hours, so you might be able to pick up everyone by tonight." 2f was taking advantage of Random's surprise to manouver him onto the dragon's back. "Take this so they'll recognize you... here's the list of guests... well, bye!" With a ^_^, 2f untied the dragon, which flew off into the distance with a faint screech, which may have come from it, or its rider, or both. 2f dusted off his hands. "That was simpler than I thought. Think I'll relax with some gaming time." """"""" NeoVid attempted to focus his eyes on the bottle of 7-up (mixed with gin, vodka and sake) that he had just finished. Since his alcohol was now 12% blood, he didn't have much luck. N: And here we see a joke stole- I mean dedicated to 2F. One of the... things that could happen when NeoVid stopped paying attention to what he was doing started, as he got up, and stayed on the couch. NeoVid was having what could loosely be considered an out-of-body experience N: Instead of an out-of-mind experience, which he's used to having. (loosely, since both of him were... hell, don't ask me to explain). After the split, one Vid stayed on the couch to try and get over having killed 30% of his brain cells, N: He has that much of his brain left? You're kidding. while the other decided to walk off the hangover. And hope like hell that his head just _felt_ like it was going to explode. |<>|< Epsilon returned the Ultra script to its place, then quickly retreated to the wall. "What other diabolical possibilities are there? Hmmm..." Impro's evil resident smirked. "I could try to explain the plot of Do-Gooders, thereby ruining it for future authors... I could remove all the jobbers from Furniture Warriors... what else..." Passing by, Lawrence thought, N: He did?! That's impossible! 'I could swear I hear ominous theme music coming from that wall...' /\/\/\ Jess and W4 were sitting by themselves out back, since the two of them were generating a lethal dose of Sweet Sap, and there's nothing like that to wreck a good hedonism-centered party. Jess looked up at the balcony, where Stephica had managed to corner Anko into a fiendly game of chess before he could join in the scavenger hunt. "Anko must be pretty chilly dressed like that," she remarked. W4 didn't bother to look, as he was trying to say something meaningful. "I've always been nervous around... well, anyone," W4 told her, "But... I don't know why, but it's different with you. Before, I wouldn't even have been able to talk to you." She then leaned her head on W4's shoulder. "I-I-I-I ne-ne-ne-ne-ne d-d-d t-the muh-muh-muh-muh..." he continued. '''''''' NeoVid dropped the bottle of what will be dubbed N: Dubbing! Evil! 13up in a wastebasket. "Urgh. I ain't never gonna do that again." In his hiding place, Epsilon reflexively droned, "Bad... grammar..." Blade heard that. "Oh no," he whined. "Don't do this..." Too late. Epsilon exploded out of his hiding place, pointing at NeoVid. "DOUBLE NEGATIVE!!!" N: You must be sacrificed to the demon Nollij. But it's still better than my writing. C-. Vid slowwwwly turned his gaze on Epsi. Eyes that probably would have been red even if he hadn't been drinking bored N: -The readers into comas. into the critic, who had suddenly been hit by a landslide of second thoughts. As the image on Vid's shirt changed into a pic of Jack-Kami-Sama yelling "DON'T [FUCK] WITH GOD!" the pundit had to think, 'Avatarnation. Maybe I should have listened to Blade for once.' Energy flared around Vid, concentrated in his fists, and fired in giant beam that looked just like Yuffie's All Creation, except N: -Pathetically lame and useless. grey. The BitchinBigBeam sent Epsilon through the wall, then into the nearest large body of water (besides the ocean). N: Which, of course, the writer couldn't be bothered to find out the name of. NeoVid yelled after the flying critic, "Hey, go fic yourself! And 'Ain't' is the contraction of 'am not', punhead!" NeoVid stated as if Epsilon was listening. Then he stopped to think. "Oh wait. That's still a double negative. Oh well." The news quickly spread among the many people who had vowed to dance on Epsi's grave, N: Can I be one of them? who were (of course) led by Yun. As Yun prepared to go collect Epsilon's head, N: (Yun) Um, really, it wasn't attached when I found it... one of them stopped him and asked, "You're sure he's dead?" "I should care because...?" Back inside, Vid was trying to muster up the energy to stagger somewhere where he could fall down safely. His endeavor was interrupted by 2F, N: (exact Rorshach) Hurm. Twoflower. Small world. who pointed and said one word. "Wall." Vid stared at the eight foot hole that his blast had made, N: (Rorshach) Tall order. shrugged and tossed out another bit of Chaos Energy. This one made the wall grow back, which was one heck of a special effect. N: Which no one bothered to describe to the readers. "Hey, that's my meal ticket you just blasted!" Blade shouted up at NeoVid. Vid was still mind-blowingly hung over, and was sure as hell not going to take the time to deal with this N: Like any slightly sane person would. reasonably. "Six," he grunted, punting the mini-bastard into a handy wastebasket. #### NickM and BlackMage's scavenging was going badly. Boringly, in fact. N: If that's a word. There was only one thing Nick really wanted to find, and it seemed the supermodels were out of season or something. For a while, BlackMage had amused himself by collecting Neighborhood Watch signs (15 points), but the thrill was wearing thin. Caught in the temporary fit of boredom, they were resorting to what could loosely be described as 'conversation'. "Grunt." "hmm" "Grunt." "hmm" "Sigh." "dont change the subject" N: And here, we see the return of the IRC joke that was supposed to have ended already. [][][][] MEANWHILE... ...A lazy writer was using a pointlessly long scene transition to fill in space. ************ The gamers were trying to come up with ways to keep from being crushed by Twoflower's mad fighting game skeelz. The owner of said skeelz had gone to get more drinks, and the other players were trying to come up with a strategy that might give themselves a snowball's chance in hell, when NeoVid happened to wander by. N: Proving that he is going to totally dominate this chapter. "Maybe if we switched games..." Roe (yes, even he had been crushed) said with faint hope. "To what? 2F's probably played every fighting game in this country." Vid dug around inside his jacket. "I've got a good one here," holding up the game. "Scribble Showtime." "Don't you mean Rakugeki Showtime?" "That's the Japanese version." "Uh... wait a second... Rakugeki Showtime is Japan only." NeoVid looked at him blankly, then realized. "Oh, right. It's that way in this universe. Well, that's no reason N: -For me to start pretending I can act sane. not to try it." They started up the game, taking a look at the assortment of badly drawn paper cutout characters. (Hey, it's a Treasure game.) As he started to wander off again, Vid said one last thing. "I wonder if 2F's still got that twitch he had when I played against him." "What twitch?" "The one he gets in his left arm whenever you're highlighting a character he doesn't want to face." 2F picked that moment to return. "You tried switching games on me, did... what are you smiling about?" "nothing..." ::: [We interrupt this fic for this message!] Hello, I'm Aaron Peori. I write brutal, hope-crushing reviews. I'm universally despised enough to have gotten myself banned from a large part of Improfanfic. My critiqueing has convinced many promising writers to give up on fanfics for good. I'm also a respected, long time member of the Fan Fiction Mailing List. [The FFML. Join us. No matter how big a dickhead you are.] N: And now the writer will pay... |:|:|:| The writer was now failing to make up his mind about what to use for scene dividers. =-=-=-= "Dude, this is sweet..." Wang was glad that the spy cameras he'd gotten from Conspiracies R Us had turned out to be such a good deal. Watching the party get into full swing was loads of good clean fun. "Whoa, that HottCoffee is..." One bit of his spy equipment bleeped, surprising him out of his hentai rambling. It informed him that N: -The writer was making him sound an awful lot like Mr. Sunshine. a government satellite had fired an extremely large nuclear device straight at Chez Impro. "Blowing away the party!? I'm never... EEEEVER gonna let that happen!" Pointing the transmitter on top of his van towards the missile, he dug out a heavily modified NES controller and used it to shut down the warhead and direct the missile... somewhere else. It ended up ramming itself into the ground right in the middle of the Pentagon. ****** At a dry cleaning place in Washington, the owner set down the phone and told his employees, "I'm rich. The entire U.S. military needs clean pants." \|/\|/\|/\|/\|/ 'I KNOW Epsilon went flying this way!' Yun thought. 'Wait a minute... after what he was hit with, he might be hard to recognize. I'd better keep an eye out for anything that looks like spilled spaghetti sauce.' )( )( )( )( Back at Chez Impro, people were hitting the floor, trying to dodge a spike-haired guy who was breaking all the Reckless Indoor Flying laws. After picking himself back up, Lusipher asked Jonatan, "Did Eslington just go Super Saiyan?" "No, he just had some of NeoVid's salsa." "Really? I have got to try N: -Getting IC for once! some of that!" Lusipher enthused as he broke for the snack table/buffet/whatever the hell they're calling it. Eslington's flight was ended abruptly when he crashed into the karaoke machine, putting a stop to Myth and Elvis' rendition of "In the Night", which provoked a Nerf malleting from the music-lovers. As NeoVid N: Who is freakin' EVERYWHERE in this episode... watched Myth open a can of 100% pure Nerf whupass on Eslington, he remarked to Jonatan, "Y'know, with Myth and Eslington and Anko and... hell, almost everybody, it's hard to believe I was worried about coming here, since I've only written one Impro part." "Don't you mean your author wrote one? You are an Avatar, after all. The Fourth Wall-" "Crumbles into dust whenever I'm around!" N: Hey! He took the line I was going to use as a riff! "Coolness. Reminds me of DG OW!! We never even had a Fourth Wall." "By the way, I will be joining the scavenger hunt once I've recovered. Still got a brain-melting hangover. How 'bout you?" "I've got no idea how, but I think that Gargle Blaster gave me a hangunder." N: It's like a hangover, but more contrived, so a guy who feels no pain can have one. "Where did that come from?" Jonatan asked. "I've been hearing them for a while." "Uh... could you act like you didn't? Breaking the Fourth Wall could mess up the plot of the rest of this chapter." "If you insist... I didn't hear that." "Great! See ya!" NeoVid bounded off, then regretted it when his brain knocked against the inside of his skull. In the background, Eslington was running around frantically, trying to avoid being Splattercomboed with a Nerf chainsaw. +_+ +_+ +_+ N: Whoever killed those clowns meant business! Maybe they cried too much. In a tiny, microscopic, pretty-darn-small attempt at a town in the U.K., a commotion was beginning. Since towns like that have maybe one good commotion every three years, it was drawing a lot of attention. It was centered around one house in particular... *NOK NOK* Katy Coope opened her front door, and found herself N: So when did she lose herself? staring at a dragon on her lawn. Being a longtime anime fan, she wasn't particularly surprised by this. N: Really, that can happen. e X ! l e once told me, 'I never noticed red eyes weren't normal!' She looked up at its rider, who was wearing a cap that read, "Impro Party Taxi Service". N: Over his Highlander hat? It was identical to the one the dragon was wearing. Neither of them seemed too enthusiastic about it. N: If I was in this fic, I wouldn't be enthusiastic about anything... Wait a second... "Katy, right? I'm Random, the guy stuck with the job of bringing everyone to the party." "I thought you'd never get here!" Her eyes got all shiny. "A real dragon!" "Yeah, Jonatan brought it." She was starting to get caught up in her own little world. "Kawaii..." "Don't get too attached. Jonatan's planning to barbecue it." One emphatic facefault later, she responded with, "...that is so wrong." A few minutes later, the dragon took off, winging the first of the late arrivals to the party, and leaving a town in the middle of nowhere with a chance at making themselves rich by selling story rights to the Enquirer. !!!!!!!!!!! N: What's so exciting? I'm sure not that interested. In a van sitting quie- OK, loudly- on an unlit side street, a Decision had been reached. "I WILL attend the party! For the Great One, the Paragon of Virtue, Wang_Tu_Chung, knows no fear! N: Or anything else! And anyone who says otherwise will get a can o' whupass with a cup of shut-the-hell-up!" The erstwhile stalke- um, better think of another word for it- then attempted to put one shaking foot outside of his van. "But I'll wait a while! Bye bye everybody!" Slam. Click. Seal hermetically. ===== The writer was then hit with angry e-mails for stealing John Evans' divider. /:\/:\/:\ Delfina's team, having returned to Chez Impro, was busy trying to get their 150 points confirmed. "Teams are only supposed to have three members," Ravi reminded her. "Yours has you, Dan, Ardweden, Omi, Todd..." "The Mallet of Kawaii says that rule is changing right now!" N: Considering who wrote them, breaking the rules impressively is probably encouraged. As the debate started (Del's main argument went *WHAM*), Omi was wistfully gazing at the still-frozen Leonardo. "I wonder if I could thaw him out... I haven't found any bishonens yet, and I don't want all this spare grape Jello to go to waste..." She took almost one entire second to decide. After struggling with the cart his ice block was on, she asked the two rescuees, "Aaron, nihility, do you want to help?" "NO! No more ice!!" "Keep it away!" was the only response she got, as they disappeared into the distance. "Fine. I'll wheel it to the Ragnarok by myself, then!" *^&%*&*($#!! N: Divider courtesy of Cid Highwind. The intense matches of Scribble Showtime continued. There was a loud "Halleluyah" as N: -The fic ended? I hope? one of the happy face throwing weapons was tossed around enough to turn it into an angry face. N: Aw, no luck. It was instantly grabbed and used to set off a 2F-nuking super attack. Hearing 2F's cursing, NeoVid smiled the Smile of Extreme Smugness. "Beat me with Mr. Duck, will he?" N: Y'know, referring to other fics you appeared in is just sad... %-{ %-{ %-{ N: That's the exprssion I had when I started drinking this stuff... The Critic of Evil, being nowhere near where Yun was searching for him, was now wandering aimlessly in hopes of finding a landmark that would point him back to Chez Impro. Stopping his wandering, Epsi said to himself, "I have been acting like a meanderthal for too long. N: Meanderthal: Pun or misspelling? YOU MAKE THE CALL! My rewriting the future scripts was a success, though not as much of one as I hoped. I should consider what an opportunity I have to work on more nefarious plots undetected!" N: Now I just have to think of some... Even though it was the middle of the day, he somehow managed to strike a pose with the setting sun at his back. "Cower, unskilled writers! For disaster looms, and I will once again weave my designs of taking all the fun out of fanfi-" "Thank badness I found you, sir!" Blade (sporting a jaunty new footprint on his face) wheezed, as he flew at higher-than-top speed. "AGAIN you insist on destroying my dramatic moments! Hold on while I check my guidebook for the appropriate response..." Epsilon got out a dogeared copy of "Be A Sadist For Fun And Profit!", N: Come on! No one's going to belive Epsilon's not a natural at being sadistic! reading chapter 6 ("Proper Mistreatment of Flunkies") "'Step 1: Berate for minor infraction', covered... 'Step 2: Administer severe beatdown.' Exactly what I hoped!" he finished, clubbing the batboy with the book. ~-~-~-~-~ NeoVid N: ARRGGGHHH!! He's everywhere! meanwhile, was having a severe attack of overconfidence combined with stupidity, and had started to wonder if there was any woman at this little get-together who was even slightly interested in him. N: And if he had any brains at all, he would have realized the answer to that in about .3 seconds. It took him a moment to get through to him that the first woman he noticed was dressed as an aardvark. A cute aardvark, but still... he wisely began to have second thoughts. N: Nah, they love it when a hungover goon propositions them. Just like they love cramps. It wasn't helping that his subconcious had changed the message on his shirt to the URL for the H Dimension's most popular website: ohgod.imhavingan.org. Slowly, a thought managed to enter his head. N: Then died from loneliness. "Wait..." he said to himself. "Dressed as an aardvark... Chris told me something about that... I'd almost expect..." "No one expects the Impro Inqusition!!" Chris laughed. Then he paused. "NEOVID! That's our cue! Sieze her, or something like that!" "Huh? Oh, right." "I'm not going through all that again!" Ardweden shouted, instantly chibifying NeoVid with a Lute to the Head (TM). ChibiVid zapped back with a bit of unfocused Chaos Energy, which had the random effect of N: Doing something so hentai that it had to be edited out. petrifying her aardvark suit. "HA!!" Chris HAed, "At last we have our escapee back! Ardweden, chibifying one of my henchme- I mean, N: -servant, wait, um, slav- no... assistants has earned you a fate worse than death... You must listen to a CD of JOHN TESH'S GREATEST FLOPS! THIS will test your tolerance of music! MWAHHHAAAAHAAAAHAA HAAAHAAAA! Haahahhaaahaaa!" "NOOO!" "YESS!" Chris gloated. "Now, Vid, to the Secret Lair of the Inquisition's Dominion with her! *Grunt*... this stone aardvark suit is heavier than it looks. Uh... are you sure you can carry something in that shape?" "Easy. I'll shake this off in a minute. And can we just shorten the Secret Lair of the Inquisition's Dominion to SLID?" "No." "Aww." "Will you two HURRY UP? I thought this thing was uncomfortable before..." ^^^^^^^^ On board the Ragnarok, Omi had just finished setting Leonardo under a set of lamps, in hopes he'd thaw before anyone found out. Her hopes didn't last. "Omi, have you seen Ardweden any... what are you doing?" "..." was her first response. Her second was, "...Uh, nothing?" "It looks more like you're trying to thaw Leonardo." Del said. "Well..." "If you do, don't let anyone know. Most guys are glad he's gone." N: Whattaya mean, just 'most'? Omi nodded vigorously. "But you didn't see Ardweden?" Del went back to the hall. "Todd, Dan! Have you seen her?" "If she's late, too bad!" Dan yelled. From the cockpit. "Oh no..." Todd said faintly. "He's in the drive-" *VOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM* N: Or whatever sound it's supposed to make. The Ragnarok went spiraling away. @@@@@@@ "Sors immanis Et inanis Sors immanis Et inanis Estuans interius ira vehementi Estuans interius ira vehementi Sephi-" "Katy... stop singing One Winged Angel. It's disturbing." "Sorry." |~|~|~|~|~| Since the sign listing the teams and scores had been hung up next to the bar, Ravi was stuck with the job of officiating the scavenger hunt. He carefully examined the latest aquisition N: (Chris) Somebody call me? Oh, wait, that's ACquisition... by HottCoffee and Myth (who had stopped her karaoke singing when Elvis said he had to go somewhere); it was a skinny, pale thing that looked like it had been unearthed after residing in a graveyard for twenty years. Despite that, the thing had managed to walk in under its own power. "See?" HottCoffee said, smiling. "Right on page three. This zombie's worth 80 points!" Ravi shook his head. "No it's not. This isn't a zombie, it's Keith Richards." "But... we were expecting 80..." Ravi scanned the back pages of the item list. "Good news! 'Keith Richards- 45 points'." As he changed the standings, Keith remarked, "Wot? 'At's all Oy'm worth? Oy'm insulted." N: And with that statement, he guaranteed that no one else is ever going to write dialogue for him. <><><><><><><> The writer then switched to a divider that hadn't had work since Furniture Warriors 15, and so was available cheap. <><><><><><><> Back at Chez Impro, a minor panic was breaking out. It had started when Chef Kenichi managed to get the attention of someone who was passing by the kitchen. As soon as his shouting was translated, the news spread through most of the house: "ELVIS FOUND THE FOOD!" "Oh Kasumi, no! Get the Jaws of Life!" <><><><><><><> Relatively deep in the place that will not be called SLID, the two remaining members of the Inquisition, as well as their captive (or something), having successfully contrived to get Ardweden's aardvark suit desolidified, were holding N: -Each other. Even twisted maniacs need affection! a strategy meeting. "We'll have no need of that useless Ravi with our current strategy!" "Since when did we have a strategy?" ChibiVid asked cutely, but unhelpfully. "Since now, you SD dunce! With no direction, how can we possibly take over the world!?" "That's what we're doing?" Chris looked anywhere else. "...I think so. I had it written down somewhere, but I sort of lost track..." His resolve returned. "But that's beside the point! Our first step is the continuation of our current operation!" "What's that?" Chris smacked Vid. "It was your idea, and you wrote the first one, you Pocket Moron! We are driving 2f into a state of utter confusion with N: -The plot of this episode! nonsensical letters! In fact, he should be recieving the second right now!" "Um, that was just supposed to be a cheap joke..." "...what?" Ardweden, holding up amazingly well under the brain-liquefying force of Tesh, saw an opportunity to get back at her ex (and the rest of the world while she was at it), and went for it. "Taking over the world? I have some ideas about that..." At the same time, 2f was reading a letter written on the wrong side of a Post-it note. It went: YAW THET RUYREB IMMEDIATELY OR FACE OUR WRATH! Signed CN Mwahaaahaaa! he will fall straight into our tr- huh? i'm not supposed to write this part? thanks for reminding me, NeoVid. 2f then helped pioneer the art of sweatdropping angrily. ~~~~~~ In the middle of nowhere (sometimes called San Diego), Yun's frustration over not finding a trace of Epsilon was nearing the boiling point. Stopping in front of a billboard for Oaklandart.com (free plug), N: And also shameless. he asked someone who would have looked suspicious if he hadn't been seeing so much red, "Have you seen a splattered or charred guy in a kabuki outfit anywhere?" "Yeah, I did. He was heading to that overpass there." "All right." Yun's hopes of revenge returned, but he was stopped before he could walk off. "You can't go straight through there. N: You gotta go crooked like everyone else in California! Ya gotta go around the highway if you got a while, or go past the warehouses if you're in a hurry..." Yun immediately went toward the warehouses. "...or if you're a sucker," Mecha Tom Green laughed. "Dumbass!" he yelled when Yun was out of earshot. "It's true, he really can't think ahead!" #*#*#*# Wandering back to the couch where he had fallen out cold, the now-dechibifed NeoVid couldn't help thinking about how devious Ardweden had turned out to be. After several seconds of deliberation, Chris had approved her plan, made her second in command, then sent NeoVid away from the place he still wasn't calling SLID, due to his low security clearance. NeoVid reached the couch and looked down at himself. N: Everybody looks down at him. Talk about your coincidences. "OK. Jonatan and I both invented the saying 'twisted minds think alike.'" "You can hear that?!" "Well, duh!" He tried to look impressive and failed miserably. "The Fourth Wall holds little influence over me. But I can't believe I fragmented again..." "Hey, I know not to do anything that can make me lose control like that," he told himself. "Hey! You starting drinking the same time I did! It's half your fault!" They sighed. "Anyway, there can't be two of me running around. Everyone already looks at me like I just got here from some other universe." N: There's a good reason for that. "And stop that! You realize how much trouble we could get in? Just hurry up and fuse, willya?" There was a sort of *ZEECH* sound, and what most people call "The NeoVid Problem" was halfway solved. (In other words, there was now one of him.) The newly reintegrated NeoVid then found himself being menaced by Twoflower. "You can't MiST a fanfic WHILE YOU'RE APPEARING IN IT!" he informed NeoVid loudly, incidentally finishing off the Fourth Wall. "And even if it's an OCR, I recognize a short joke! I'll have to deal with that before I question you about these notes I've been getting. Since the official malleter is on the scavenger hunt, I'll have to do this myself." 2F got out the XXXL size mallet and a well deserved pummeling, as they say, ensued. _________________________________________ Author's notes: I'm tone deaf, and I don't know the words, but they sort of go "LA DAH DEE DAH DAH!!!" Kidding. I'm not tone deaf. This went better than I expected, mostly because I was working with Jonatan. Cooperation with other authors, people. I highly recommend it. I know this part was pretty NeoVid Intensive, and I make make no apologies. The only thing I was thinking when I worked on it was the same thing I did when I wrote my part of Furniture Warriors: "Whatever's wrong with it, it will at least be funny." Oh yeah, and no offense meant to Epsilon, he was just the only one who I thought would fit in that commercial. And I do realize I'm going to regret some of this. Thanks to my first ever prereader, Jonatan, for keepin me from seemng any dumbr then usual. Well, anyway, C&C (Hehhehhehheh, sure) should go to neovid@hotmail.com _________________________________________ Locations, or YOU ARE HERE: (Future writers, _please_ keep up this section!) Person Location Twoflower: Living room Roe: Gaming W4: Out back Lusipher: Chez Impro Calculus: Chez Impro NeoVid: Living room Omi no Miko: Ragnarok Delfina: Ragnarok Ardweden: Maybe SLID Stephica: The deck Eslington: Karaoke Zone Aaron: The beach nihility (Eric): The beach Dan Wood: Ragnarok Marlo Semaj: In two Impros at once Chris Nichols: The basement (aka SLID) Todd: Ragnarok Lawrence: Lurking Anko: The deck Damien Roc: Japan Myth: Scavenging NickM: San Diego Ravi: At the bar Jake: Chez Impro Hottcoffee: Scavenging Monica: Under a desk BlackMage: San Diego Fatman: Late for the party Epsilon: Somewhere in San Diego Blade: Epsilon's crashlanding zone Eternal Lost Lurker: On his way Random: Flying the Impro Taxi Service Katy: Flying on the Impro Taxi Rain: Still on his way to the party Chaos: Chez Impro Squall: Chez Impro Jonatan: Chez Impro Iron Chef Chen Kenichi: The kitchen Mecha Tom Green: San Diego Bishounen chauffeur: Chained in front of Chez Impro Leonardo DiCaprio: Being thawed on the Ragnarok Dragon: Being the Impro Taxi Jess: Out back Elvis: Being pried out of the kitchen Keith Richards: Chez Impro Next scheduled writer: Aaron Shattuck, who will probably not have a scene that includes the line: "I owe it all to being a Violinist of Hamelin fan." ___________________________ "And Mystery Science Theater is DEAD!!" N: WAAAAAHHHHH!!!