I came to, nice and gradual-like.  The sounds registered first... the 
shuffling of footsteps, mixed with faint strains of rock music and the 
muffled chattering of voices.  I was lying on my back -- on the floor no 
less.  

My eyelids complained loudly as I tried to convince them to open.  
Eventually, they relented, and I was able to slowly open my eyes, allowing
me to take in my surroundings.

For the half-second before my head began pounding with the pain, at least.

Waves of angry throbbing crashed through my skull, and I sat up abruptly,
my hands seeking out the source of my pain.  A brief moment spent patting
gingerly revealed it, a swollen bump on the back of my head.  Grimacing, I
clenched my eyes shut, hoping for the pain to die down enough to get up.

And then, as quickly as it had started, it passed.

I shook my head groggily, and leaning against the wall for support, stood
up.  A million and two questions were demanding to be asked, and I wasn't
sure where to start.

Had I been attacked?  And if so, why was I left passed out in the middle of
the floor?  Something wasn't adding up, and it occurred to me that I had no
idea where I was.

And, as if that weren't enough, I had no idea who I was.

- = -

ImproParty
Part 22:  "Parboiled"

IP started by Woofer, who is unfortunately rather dead.
This chapter by ravi, who is unfortunately still alive.

- = -

My initial reaction upon finding myself in my situation was, thankfully,
not one of panic.  I was still shaky, and there was no end to the questions
coming to mind, but I did not panic.  

I took in my surroundings.  I was in a hallway with a handful of closed
doors.  There was a staircase at the end of the hall, to my left.  I had
probably come from one of these rooms (bedrooms, I guessed), since I'd been
heading for the stairs.

Making sure there was no one around, I checked my pockets.  The front
pockets yielded five dollars and twenty-three cents, all in silver dollars 
and pennies.  There were also some keys, on a keychain in the form of a
small rubber toy shaped like a man with long blue hair.

My back pocket contained what I was hoping to find -- a clue to my identity
-- in the form of a wallet.  I flipped it open, pulling out the driver's
license.  

My eyes narrowed as I read the name and studied the picture.  The person in
the photo had shortish hair and exuded attitude, but I knew it wasn't me,
if for no other reason than I was too dark of skin.  That, and the fact
that this person, Illyria, was very much female -- something I was
not.  Unless...

I experimentally patted myself in a couple of key areas and adjusted my
stance slightly.  Satisfied by the results, I concluded that I was quite 
decidedly male.

I started down the hall, doubt beginning to flood my every thought.  Why did
I have this woman's wallet?  Was I some sort of purse snatcher, a petty
thief?  I stopped in midstep as my stomach involuntarily tightened.  Or
worse, was I some sort of deviant, collecting mementos of people I'd...

No, I corrected as I squirmed in the suddenly uncomfortable denim.  That
wasn't it at all... I had just managed to end up... wearing someone else's
pants.

Damn.  I hate when that happens.

With a sigh of exasperation, I decided to find a pair of pants that fit, if
not my own.  I doubled back and entered the last door I had passed.  As I
had guessed, it was a bedroom.  Unfortunately, it was also occupied.  I
nodded my apoligies to the room's occupants who had been involved in some
frisky activity involving an elaborate complex of pulleys, peanut butter,
and a teddy bear.

Some dark corner in the back of my mind informed me that I had done this
before, and actually found it rather gauche.  I silenced it rather quickly.

I moved on to the next room. This one was apparently unoccupied. The bed
was neatly made, but the smell in the air made it clear what had recently 
taken place.  A quick scan of the room revealed no pants, and neither did a 
hasty search of the dresser and closet.  I frowned and moved on to the 
room across the hall.

This room, too, was empty, although there was a suitcase on the bed.
Feeling only slightly guiltly, I popped it open and rifled through the
contents.  I pulled out a pair of jeans that looked my size.  I sat down on
the bed and changed my pants.  I noted with a sense of relief that I was at
least wearing my own underwear.

I studied myself in the full-length mirror on the closet door.  Nothing was
coming back to me; I was still completely unaware of my identity.  I payed
close attention to my face.  It wasn't entirely unattractive, but I had to
admit, I wasn't very pleased with it.  But... it was the face I wore, and
there was nothing I could do to change it.

I was distracted by a warbling in the image in the mirror.  I stepped back
with a start, suddenly wary.  The closet door was shaking slightly, and I
heard a soft thumping noise.  Cautiously, I reached forward and drew open
the sliding door...

Revealing a pair of teenagers, both half as naked as the day they were
born.  The boy looked at me with a look of either supreme smugness or 
absolute terror -- I must admit I couldn't quite tell.  "He- he- hel-" he
stuttered.

"Ne, Cal-chan," she drawled, sheer eroticism dripping with every syllable.  
"Be quiet and behave."  She kissed him on the forehead, silencing him and
causing his eyes to bug out.  She then looked up at me, my eyes meeting
hers. I tried to distract myself from her... state of undress... by
concentrating on the fact that her eyes were an odd mixture of green, blue,
and red.  "Now, Ravi," she told me, "If you'd like, I can meet up with you
later.  But I promised darling Cal here that I'd be all his for now."  She
winked and closed the door

I stood silent for a minute, somewhat embarrassed by what had just
happened.  It then occurred to me that I at least now had a name to go with 
my face.  "Ravi," she had called me.  It still didn't bring back any
recollection, but at least I wouldn't be caught completely off-guard.

I stepped back out into the hallway.  There were voices coming from
below, which meant that I could maybe find someone who could help me.
Halfway down the steps, I ran into another teenager, this one with long
purple hair, but otherwise built like the girl I'd seen before (albeit with
somewhat subdued curves).  She was frowning, but smiled happily upon seeing
me.

"Oh, hi Ravi," she greeted.  "Have you seen H?"

"H?" I asked, confused.  I had no idea what H was...

She shrugged.  "Yeah, I'm trying to find her.  I was just hoping maybe you
had seen her around."

H was a person, then... What kind of name is H?  "No, I haven't," I said.

"Well, I just had her exorcised, but I don't know if it worked right.  If 
you see her, let me know, okay?"  She nodded brightly and continued past
me, stopping at the first door and sticking her head in.  "Oh, sorry
Steph!" she called out.

I shook my head and kept on down the stairs.  "Cute kid," I muttered to
myself.  Cute, but a total chippie.  Kids and their drugs these days.
Exorcism?  Whatever.  But I did have to wonder what was going on...

Reaching the bottom of the stairs revealed a crowded sitting room.  There
were nearly a dozen computers and video game machines lined up in a row,
with people staring intently into the screens, pounding away at keys on the
keyboard furiously.  I decided I probably did not want to talk to any of
these people.

Someone tapped on my shoulder.  I turned around, to find a man about my
height.  He was smiling lightly.  "So, Ravi," he said with a smug tone in 
his voice, "Where have you been?"

I figured he was referring to something in particular, but for some reason
it seemed prudent to mask my missing memories.  So I merely shrugged in
response and smiled.

"Uh-huh... Hey, have you seen Mark Poa around?"

"Who?" I asked, kicking myself as I did so.

The man laughed.  "Oh, right.  You were... busy when he got here.  No, he 
just got here.  We need his help to go find Todd.  Well, I'll see you."

I nodded and he exited out the front door.  I wasn't going to find any
answers from the zombies in the sitting room, so I ventured further into the
house.  I was passing through the door when I came upon a trio of people
chatting.

"Hi Ravi," one said as they waved me over.  Then, with a gleam in her eye,
she added, "So where have you been?"

I raised an eyebrow in response.  (Or rather, I tried... I discovered, much
to my chagrin, that I was unable to lift just one...)

Her companions both chuckled and patted me heartily on the back.  I
gathered that I had somewhat of a reputation around here.  What exactly, I
wasn't sure.

"What have you been up to?" I replied.

"Not much, we were just talking about Aaron's tendancies towards gruesome
acts of violence upon young cute things."

I tried to control my features, but I am certain a dark look flittered
across my face, for she then nodded with realization and spoke.

"Oh, right... I forgot.  You're not into the magical girl hunter thing."
She shrugged.  "You loss... it's really fun."

"No, I'm not..." I trailed off. 

"So do you have any idea where Epsilon might be?" one of the men asked me.

"No idea.  Why?"

"You haven't heard about the Normalizer?  He's going to cancel the field
around this place and make us all normal."

"Normal?"  

The second man laughed.  "Yeah, that's his plan.  He's trying to throw
everything into disarray, but we're turning Chez Impro upside down
searching for it.  We'll find it soon enough."

My headache was returning, and their conversation was confusing me even
more, so I excused myself.  I spied a long counter, decorated with bottles
of what appeared to be a most excellent variety of alcohols.  I decided
this would be a worthy stop.

"Ravi?  So where have you been?" the rather scary-looking man behind the
bar asked.

"I am sick unto death of people asking me that, you know?  Just give a rum
and coke."

He scowled and walked off.  "Get it yourself.  It's your job."

"Lawrence is in a bit of a foul mood," a female voice muttered drunkenly.
"Ravi was supposed to be looking after the bar."

I turned to face the source of the voice, a pretty girl in a hot dog
vendor's uniform.  She was standing at the counter, looking at an empty
glass.

"But I'm Ravi," I offered.

She looked at me through blurry eyes and held her glass out to me.  "Then
fix me one more drink."

I shrugged and stepped behind the bar.   "What'll you have.... Jess?" I
asked, reading the name off her nametag.  She told me, and I mixed up two.
I set both glasses down in front of her, and picked up mine.  "So, why
don't you tell me wha--"  I froze in midword.

There was a corpse sitting at the bar.  Elvis, no less.

Jess noticed me staring at the body, and sobbed softly.  "I'm surrounded by
death," she wailed.  I turned back to her, my eyes not wanting to believe
what they'd seen.  I put her hand on her glass and nodded.  We both slammed
back our drinks.  I let the bitterness tickle its way down my throat,
feeling my headache ease up nearly instantly.  I glanced back at the dead
body, but it wasn't there.  I wiped my brow in relief, and turned back to
Jess, who was still softly crying.

"Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"I... I... I loved Scott, but... then I killed him!"  She broke down into 
tears again.  I could only put my hand on her back in reassurance.  I might 
not know what was going on, but a little empathizing was not uncalled for.  
Her sobs eventually slowed, and she looked up at me.  "You were his friend...
Do you think you could you do me a favor?"

I nodded slowly.  "If it's within my power..."

"I want to pay him one last visit.  I have to make my peace with him.  Will
you come with me?  To his grave?"

"Certainly," I found myself promising her.

She nodded.  "I... need to get sober and get myself cleaned up.  I'll come 
find you in a couple of hours."

Elvis tapped me on the shoulder, and pantomimed that he would take over on
serving drinks.  Not wanting to deal with the fact that I was communicating
with an animated corpse, I gladly made a hasty departure, ignoring the fact
that he was mixing up a daiquiri for a cat.

The boy I had seen in the closet upstairs was standing by the sliding door.
Standing by his side was a short brown-haired girl, older than he was, but 
younger than I.  She was dressed in a semi-translucent aqua-colored swim 
suit.  

"Hi Cal," I greeted him.  

A look of puzzlement flashed across his face.  "Cal?" he asked.

I had apparently Screwed Up.  I chose to remain silent, rather than dig
myself further.

He shook his head.  "No, no... it's just that you never called me that
before.  Anyway, you want to join us?"

"We're going to the beach!" the girl said, smiling brightly.

"Oh?" I asked, idly wondering how this guy was able to get so many women.

"Yeah... we're going to go rescue Todd from an island of unruly natives,"
she answered.

"Dan went off to find Mark so we can find where exactly the island is.
Delfina and I were supposed to find a way to get there," Cal added.

"How _are_ you planning on getting out there?" I asked.

Delfina winced.  I gathered I'd hit a sore spot.  "We had to ask for help."

"Bwahaha!"  I turned around to find a disheveled figure in a labcoat.  He
had his hands thrust deeply into his pockets and was fumbling around for
something.  He pulled out a key.  "I modified the Champagne Minivan.  Now
it can FLY!"

"It... can fly?"  This was seriously straining my sense of reality.  My
headache was returning.

Cal nodded.  "Yeah, Jonatan said he might be able to do something.  I hope
Twoflower doesn't mind too much."

"Hey guys," the man I'd seen earlier in the living room called out, coming
up to us.  I gathered from the discussion that this was Dan.  He held a map
in his hands, a large red circle drawn in the middle of the ocean.  "We've
got it!  Do we have a way to get there?"

I looked closely at the map.  "There's nothing there..."

"It's an uncharted island," Cal answered, then turning to Dan.  "We're
taking the minivan.  Jonatan fixed it up.... he's coming with, too."

Dan raised an eyebrow, and then shrugged.  "Okay.  Calc, Del, Jon... 
You want to come with us, Ravi?"

I politely declined the offer.

"Take me with you!" came another voice.  A bedraggled-looking man, whom I
recognized from earlier as "Mr. Teddybear".  "I've got to get out of here,
for a little bit at least.  Steph is a harsh taskmistress."

Dan and Delfina snickered knowingly.  Cal gulped and looked around
nervously.  Jonatan just looked uneasy.  Dan shrugged.  "Sounds good.
Let's go!"

They turned and left.  I waved until they were out of sight.

I turned away from the glass door, lost in thoughts about what sort of
gathering this was.  It was a party, apparently, but these people... what
were they?  Spouting nonsense about exorcisms, magical girls, and flying 
minivans? It didn't make sense, but someone I was tied up in the whole 
thing.  I wasn't so sure I wanted to know who I was, any longer.

My train of thoughts was effectively derailed by the appearance of a very
familiar face, the one on the picture in my wallet.  Her hair was longer,
and the photo could not hope to do justice to her loveliness.  I felt a
pang of regret that I could not for the life of remember who she was.

Of course, the mood was ruined by the fact that she was accompanied by
three other women, all four of them dressed in white uniforms with a large
red "K" emblazoned across the front.

"Kim, Phoebe... Hats?" Illyria muttered to the two standing on the sides. 
The two girls smiled sheepishly and pulled cowboy hats out of seemingly
nowhere.  After donning them, the four girls crossed their arms.  And
glared at me.

I glared at them.

They glared at me some more.

"Aaanyway," I broke the silence.  "I need to talk to you," I said to
Illyria.  "In private, preferably?"

She frowned lightly.  "This isn't more of that touchy-feely crap, is it?
Because we've already had this discussion."

Okay... this complicated things.  She probably would be able to help me, or
at least answer some questions, but not in the open like this... 
"No, it isn't."

"Then we can talk here."

"I'd rather not," I said.  "This would be much better in private."

"I have things to do, Ravi."

"Fine," I scowled.  "But I think you'd at least want this."  I pulled the
wallet from my back pocket and pressed it into her hands.  She curiously
accepted it, her eyes widening as she flipped through it.  Reaching into
her own pocket, she pulled out another wallet and handed it to me.

I opened it and did a cursory scan of the contents.  Yeah, it was mine all
right.  I smiled lightly and nodded.

"Sorry, Ravi," Illyria said.  "I misunderstood."

I glanced at her entourage, which was watching us curiously, amused and
expectant smiles on their faces.  "It's no problem," I said.  "I just
wanted to make sure you didn't max out all my credit cards...  So what are
you up to now?"

She planted her foot down dramatically, "I have gone and founded... Team K!"

I nodded slowly and filed her under 'Jilted ex-lovers who have gone on to
found para-military strike squads'; the way my luck was going, I would not
be surprised to run into more of them.  "That's... nice.  Um, if you'll
excuse me?"

I stepped out onto the balcony to get some fresh air.  There was something
dark and odious about the festivities inside, and I wanted to get to the
bottom of it all.  A chittering came from somewhere around my feet, and in
my foul mood, I half-consciously kicked at it.  I heard a yelping, and
looked to see a small figure, possibly a dog, flying through the air.

I turned around to find a girl with reddish-brown hair and green eyes
staring at me in disbelief.  She had a cup of coffee held halfway to her
mouth, but just kept staring as it spilled out onto her shirt.  "Did you
just... punt Coldfury?" she asked incredulously.

I shrugged.  "I guess so.  Wasn't quite thinking."  Then, without waiting
for a reply I headed back inside.  I had more important things to worry
about.

I noticed a door I hadn't seen earlier.  Opening it revealed stairs heading
down to the basement.  I figured if there was something to be found, it
would be down there.  

There was no light switch at the top of the stairs, so I found myself in
pitch darkness at the bottom.  I was searching blindly for the switch when
I felt a hand clamp down around my wrist.

I was flung forward into the darkness.  I managed not to trip, but nearly
did.  I stood still, trying not to make a sound.

The lights snapped on, and I found myself face-to-face with a very nasty 
looking man.  He was dressed in a white t-shirt and jeans, and was flanked
by three largish men, all decorated in tattoos and scar-tissue.

"Oh, good," he said, as he studied me.  "You'll do."

"Do for what?"

He answered me with a vicious punch to my nose.  I fell to my knees, my
hands grabbing at my face.  "What the hell was that for?"

He smiled.  "My name is Ivar.  Welcome to Impro Fight Club."

"Impro... Fight Club?" I asked, staring at him through the tears welling up
in my eyes.  

He nodded, and then kicked me in the side.  I collapsed to the ground.
"We were hoping to get Lurker or John Evans, but you'll have to do."

He stepped back and tossed me a towel.  Coughing loudly, I wiped the blood
from my face.  "What... do you want me for?"

He looked at me with a look of disbelief.  "Why, Ravi, you of all people
should understand the need for an outlet like this.  We're just here to
have a little fun, release a little stress, and deflate a few egos in the
process."  He kicked me again.  The bastard was wearing steel-tip boots, I
remarked to myself as I rolled over onto my back.

"Hey!" came a shout from the stairs.  I looked over, and blearily made out
someone in a large black cloak standing by the stairs.  Everyone else was
staring at him as well.

Ivar stepped back from me and crossed his arms.  "Can we help you?" he
asked the hooded man.  

"What do you think you're doing down here?!  This basement is the domain of
the Impro Inquisition!" the man shouted.  He stomped over to where my
assailant was standing.

Ivar smiled.  "We're merely having a friendly fight.  And as I see it, this
basement is free to all..."

"I don't think so.  This basement is only big enough for one of us."  

"Is that so?  And how do you plan to back up your claim on this basement?"

The hooded man pulled a sheet of paper out of his sleeve and handed it to 
Ivar, who frowned.  

"Well, I'll be damned."

"What is it, boss?" one of his goons asked.  

"It's the occupancy permit.  This basement is only big enough for one 
shadowy subversive organization.  Guess we'll have to be clearing out."

The news was met by groans, but they did all shuffle out the door.  Before
leaving, Ivar turned to me and smiled.  "I'll be seeing you, soon enough,
boy."

I couldn't help but feel that he was speaking prophetically.  It wouldn't
be at this Party, but someday soon, I knew I'd run into him again.  And I'd
probably regret it.

The cloaked man waited for the Fight Club members to leave, then pulled back
the concealing hood.  He looked at me with concern in his eyes, but for my
part, I could only look at him in confusion.  

"Are you all right?" he asked me.

"To be perfectly honest, no."  I sat up slowly, shaking my head.

"Well, your timing couldn't be any more perfect.  While you were off having
fun, we caught _John Evans_.  And now he's escaped!" 

"John?"

"Yeah... I'm telling you, first Epsilon, now Evans... I'm telling you, the
Inquisition is falling to pieces!"

"And where do I fit into it?"

The Inquisitioner looked at me oddly.  "They must have hit you harder than
it looked.  You are still Second-in-command, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I guess I am."  Second-in-command?  Of some strange cult, it seemed.
I needed to get out.  Away...  "Look, I'm not feeling well.  I'm going to
go take half a bottle of Aleve, okay?"

He nodded and helped me to my feet.  "Just be sure to come back down here
when you're better.  We have a writer to hunt down and torture."

It wasn't until I reached the top of the stairs that I registered his use
of the word 'torture'.  And I was part of this?  Not good.  Not good at
all.

I wandered into the kitchen, nodding at the flashily dressed Japanese man
who was merrily chopping the heads off ducks.  I located the pain killers
and dry swallowed four tablets.  I leaned against the counter, waiting for
the pain to subside a bit.

The phone, of course, decided to ring loudly in my ear.

Angrily, I grabbed for the receiver.  "What the hell do you want?" I
shouted.

"Hello?" came a quiet voice.  Delfina.

I exhaled slowly and forced myself to calm down.  "Sorry... Things are a bit
crazy over here.  This is Delfina, right?"

"Yeah," came the voice again, this time louder.  And angrier.  "Things are
even crazier over here."

"What happened?" I asked, picking up an odd-looking food item and nibbling
at it.  

She sighed.  "We are on an Island of Catmen.  They might be half-naked
bishounen catguys, but they're still cats!"

"And what's the problem?"

The volume on my end was nearly deafening.  "I.  HATE.  CATS!"

I finished off the pastry and replied.  "No, I meant, what's the situation
with the rescue?"

"I don't know... I've been staying in the van.  Roe came back and gave me
an update, but that was fifteen minutes ago.  I have no idea where they are
now."

"Okay..." I waited for her to continue.

"Well, we got here and settled outside the village.  We snuck in, but I
started getting all stuffed up because of the hair.  I went back to the
van.  Apparently, they got Todd free, but while they were caught sneaking
out.  Dan and Roe got away, but they captured Cal and Jonatan... Roe said 
the cat guys were saying something about 'cat mites', but he wasn't entirely 
sure what they meant.  And I now I have no idea where they are!"

"What do you want us to do?"

"Oh, I don't know... wait... I see something.  I'll call back in five
minutes, okay?  Bye!"

I hung up the phone and sighed.  Now it was naked catmen.  This was becoming
entirely too odd for me.  It was then that I became aware of an odd sensation 
from below.  I looked down to meet the beady-eyed gaze of a small gray 
creature which was apparently busy thrusting against my leg.

I slumped my shoulders in defeat.

"Sorry about that, Ravi" came a female voice.  I looked up to see a short
dark-haired girl wearing an embarassed expression.  "I just can't get
Quistis to listen to me..."

It was then that I noticed the two small puppets perched on her shoulders.
It did not surprise me that they looked like the Inquisitioner.

"Ard-sama! You're the greatest!" one puppet cried out.

"Ard-sama! Kick Ravi's ass!" the other suggested.

"Yeah, he's a total pervert, Ard-sama!" the first agreed.

'Ard-sama' sighed and picked up her pet aardvark.  She smiled sheepishly
and carried it off, scolding it lightly.  

I stopped by the bar and slammed back a glass of an orange beverage that
Elvis handed me.  I tipped him with a fiver.  The painkillers were
beginning to take effect.

There was a commotion coming from the area of the living room.  I went to
see what it was, out of idle curiousity.  There were a group of people
gathered around the couch. I heard concerned whispers, and picked out the 
phrases "horrible metamorphosis", "Twoflower", and "pop music," but I 
ignored them.  Someone tried to get my attention, but I was too busy heading
up the stairs.

Stumbling down the hall, I passed by the first door.  Even if Roe wasn't in
there, who knew whom the blond woman had ensnared now... I opened the
second door, only to find a group of people, tangled together in a
veritable game of human Tetris.  I scowled and kept down the hall.  

"Third time's the charm," I muttered as I turned the handle and walked in.
The room was thankfully empty.  I sat on the bed and let myself fall
backward.  I reached into my pocket and pulled out the bottle of
painkillers. 

I finished off about ten of them before the darkness claimed me...

- = - 

I came to, slowly.  My head was pounding... I'd been in the hall, I knew..
And I think I had heard someone coming up behind me.

I tried to sit up, but I couldn't feel my legs.  This was Not Good.  In
mild panic, I began squirming.

"Shhh..." came a low voice.  Definitely female.  A female who was
apparently sitting on my legs...  "You've got a few bruises, but you're 
okay, otherwise."

"Illyria?" I asked.  It couldn't be, could it?  Had she come back?

I could almost hear the pout.  I definately felt the slap.

The voice came again, this time in my ear.  "I'd think a gigolo like you
would know better than to call a girl by someone else's name..."

"Phoebe?"

"Mmm-hmm!"

"What are you doing?  What happened to--" I stammered.  My head still hurt,
and I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to be in this... position.

"Ne, Ravi-kun..." she interrupted me.  "Are you up for a little mindless sex?"

"Um..."

"Oh, I see you are up for it!"

"Um, Phoebe, I don't think--"

"That's right.  Don't think.  It's mindless, remember?"

"But... I... Oh."

"Hmmm?  Lower, you say?"

"Oooh.  Okay!"


FIN (ch 22)

- = - 

Dramatis Personae:

Aaron:                        Chez Impro
Aaron Shattuck                On the loose in Chez Impro, with Rain
Anko:                         Chez Impro
Ardweden:                     Chez Impro
BlackMage:                    Living Room
Blade:                        Chez Impro - Attic
Calculus:                     Isle of the Catguys
Chris:                        Chez Impro
ColdFury:                     Chez Impro
Damien Roc:                   Chez Impro
Dan:                          Isle of the Catguys -- and lovin' it.
Delfina:                      Isle of the Catguys -- in the van
Epsilon:                      Chez Impro - Attic
Eslington:                    Living Room
Eternal Lost Lurker:          Living Room
Fatman:                       Chez Impro
H:                            Chez Impro -- on the prowl
HottCoffee:                   Chez Impro
Jake:                         Chez Impro
Jonatan:                      Isle of the Catguys
Kate Malloy:                  Chez Impro
Katy:                         Front Yard with Dragon
Kimberli:                     Chez Impro
Illyria:                      Chez Impro
Lady Chaos:                   Basement
Lawrence:                     Chez Impro
Lusipher:                     Chez Impro - still disguised as "K-Sama"
Mark Poa:                     Chez Impro
Myth:                         Chez Impro
NeoVid:                       Chez Impro
Nick:                         Living Room
nihility (Eric):              Chez Impro
Omi no Miko:                  Chez Impro
Phoebe:                       Chez Impro
Rain:                         Chez Impro, with Aaron Shattuck
Random:                       GGG
ravi:                         Chez Impro
Roe:                          Isle of the Catguys
Squall:                       Basement
Stephica:                     Chez Impro
Steve Scougall:               Chez Impro
Tameran:                      Living Room
Todd:                         Isle of the Catguys
Twoflower:                    Chez Impro
Wang Tu Chun                  Out cold - Bedroom
W4:                           Dead - In the iceberg
Yun Cheolsu:                  Out Cold - Game Room

Cousin Pete:                  Chez Impro - Attic, in a Sailor fuku
Dragon:                       Front Yard
Evil Neighbours From Hell:    Next door to Chez Impro
Hardhead Fred:                Chez Impro - Attic, in a Sailor fuku
Iron Chef Chen Kenichi:       Kitchen
Jess:                         Bar
Keith Richards:               Dragon's Dinner
Leonardo DiCaprio:            Dead, and loving it!
Mecha Tom Green:              Sea World, trying to stick him bum on Shamu
Ragnarok:                     Crash landed on an island
Ura:                          Bar
Zombie Elvis:                 Still Dead - Bar

- = - 

AUTHOR'S NOTES
[Or, in Which Ravi Speaks in the Third Person]

First of all, Ravi would like to apologize for doing an entire piece in
first-person perspective.  It was an experiment of sorts, and he is not
quite sure how well it will go over.  

This chapter did not turn out at all how he planned, and the story had to
be severely changed for time considerations.  The original outline that
Ravi drafted for this chapter involved Mecha Tom Green digging up Woofer's 
corpse, Lawrence dying to stop him, much more sex, and ravi hanging himself
in the end.  It was going to be a Normal Person's view of Impro people, but
time kept Ravi from doing a decent job.

Ravi would like to thank everyone who offered suggestions.  He apologizes
profusely for being unable to implement them properly.

He would also like to state, for the record, that the scene at the end was
included at the request of another Author, who wishes to use it in a Plot
of some sort.  It was not an attempt at Getting Some while behind the
Authorial Reins.

As always, questions and comments to duvvuri@uiuc.edu.

-r