Yun Cheolsu woke up. It was that simple. No fanfare, nobody in the gameroom to witness the event, just Yun Cheolsu and a violent urge to throw Stephica up against the wall and make wild passionate monkey love. Yun paused. That wasn't right. He wanted to find Stephica and... and... screw her like a White House intern! No, that wasn't right either. Yun paused again. He felt a draft. Yun looked down. "Todaechhe! Nae oush-i odi issnunga?*" he screamed in Korean to no one in particular. Yun reorganized his priorities. To hell with Stephica, the first order of business was to find his clothes. ********** * Todaechhe! Nae oush-i odi issnunga? = What the hell? Where are my clothes? ********** ImproParty Part 23: "Sailors and Cyborgs and Sadists, Oh My" ImproParty created by Kichigaisakka W4, God rest his soul. This part by Michin Nom Yun Cheolsu, no rest for the Kichigai-Coonass. Additional Scenes by Jesse Ellman Jonatan Streith Delfina Additional Ideas by Ravi Duvvuri Rain ********** The ImproIceberg was a cold and lonely place. The fact that it was cold should surprise no one but where as before it could lay claim to ice skaters and snowboarders as inhabitants, now it contained only the frozen corpse of W4. And so it was that Jess the Hot Dog Vendor and Rags, who had arrived at the party just in time to be a surrogate ravi, went to visit the gravesite. The real ravi was... ahem... occupied when Jess returned to find him. "Where is this again?" Rags inquired of the blubbering Jess. "On the far side," she managed to say. "In a round hole about four feet in diameter?" "Yes." "Uhm..." Rags said nervously, "I think you should take a look at this." Jess ran to the far side of the iceberg to fing Rags standing in front of an empty hole. "He's not here," she said incredulously. "I found this note next to the hole," he said grimly, handing her a piece of paper. Jess read the note then started crying like never before. She ran back to Chez Impro screaming the name "Scott!" Rags bigsweated then took off after Jess. ********** Epsilon struggled in his bonds. He wasn't entirely sure how it had happened due to the incredible pace at which it had occurred but somehow he, Blade and the two strangers in sailor fukus were hanging from the rafters in the attic with Aaron Shattuck gloating down below. At least Epsilon assumed he was gloating. One could never tell with these types of people. Off in the corner Rain sat fiddling with the Normalizer(tm) trying to figure out what it did. Aaron giggled insanely. "Hmm," Rain said, "What is this?" Aaron looked over at the Normalizer(tm) and shrugged, "I dunno. Why don't you whack it with a hammer or something?" Rain turned this over in his head for a while then said, "OK," and headed downstairs. Epsilon's eyes went wide. "NO!!!" Blade shouted, "Don't you do that to Epsi's greatest invention." Epsilon would have smacked his winged sidekick if he had been able to move his arms, but in this case he settled for shouting, "THOU SHALT NOT CALL ME EPSI!!!" Aaron walked over to the ropes with which he and Rain had suspended the four conspirators and said "Ini, Mini, Maini, Mo!" He then proceeded to lower Cousin Pete to the floor. "Want some squirrel head?" he asked the intruder. Cousin Pete turned an interesting shade of green. "It's good stuff," Aaron said chowing down on said delicacy. ********** In the living room of Chez Impro, a rather sizeable crowd was gathered around Twoflower who, after overdosing on boy-band music, was metamorphosing into Nick Carter, arguably the wussiest of the Backstreet Boys. The shock and horror expressed by the denizens of Chez Impro was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Somebody get that," yelled Blackmage, never taking his eyes off the gruesome sight. "You're right next to the door!" yelled Lurker. "You get it!" "Umm... there's gotta be somebody closer." Lurker looked around. "You're the only one within fifteen feet. Open the door!" Blackmage scowled. "Eslington, back me up on this." "Looks like you're the closest one," said Eslington, quickly scanning the room. "Can I get another opinion?" "GET THE STINKING DOOR ALREADY!!!" yelled everyone in the entire room, quickly becoming annoyed. "Okay, okay, relax," said Blackmage, arms extended in a placating manner as he walked over. Grumbling, he opened the door. A skinny, brown haired, glasses wearing kid was standing outside, wearing khakis and a plaid short-sleeved button down shirt over a t-shirt. He held a suitcase in one hand, and was looking at a small piece of paper when the door opened. "Umm...is this Chez Impro?" "Yup," nodded Blackmage. "You a party guest?" "Yeah, I'm Jesse." Silence filled the room. "I wrote a part for Ultra a couple of months back." The crickets chirped. "I'm always posting on the message board about Ultra. You know, the whole Tifa/Cloud thing." Some tumbleweed blew by. Lurker kicked at it idly. "I lurked in the chatroom for a while up until about a month or so ago." People stood up and cheered, ecstatic to see that Jesse had finally arrived. Everyone offered him their seats. Men looked on in awe. Females swooned. All of these things didn't happen. "I'm drawing a blank here," said Blackmage, a thoughtful look on his face. Other people in the room nodded in agreement. "The name sounds familiar, but I can't place it. Anything else recognizeable?" Jesse sighed, and stepped back outside, closing the door behind him. After a moment, he stepped back in, a bored look on his face. "Prepare for trouble. And make it double. To protect..." Recognition flashed across the faces of many of the people in the living room. "Oh yeah, Jesse from the chatroom! Now I remember!" said Blackmage, chuckling. "Sorry 'bout that." "Ah, don't worry about it. It's not like I'm all that well known around here," Jesse said, smiling slightly. "Besides, if ya got a gimmick, you should use it, right?" "By the way, I'm Blackmage." "Pleasure to meet ya," Jesse said, nodding. Looking up, he waved to everyone else in the room. "Hi everybody." The other people in the room waved back, each uttering some greeting or another. Somebody shouted "Hi Doctor Nick!". Rain, carrying a sledgehammer upstairs, also waved. Jesse blinked. "Should I ask?" "Nope." "Okay." Jesse paused and looked around for a second. "Where do I put my bag?" "I dunno," Blackmage said, looking around. "I guess you just throw it anywhere." He paused as he looked down at Jesse's suitcase. "What's in there?" Jesse shrugged. "Normal stuff. Clothes, toothbrush, some miscellaneous stuff. Oh yeah, and a pizzeria." "A pizzeria? In there?!?" "Portable model," said Jesse, grinning. "I figured that a party's not a party without pizza. So I brought a good old-fashioned New York-style pizzeria. I'll set it up later." Blackmage nodded. After all, this was Chez Impro, and considering what had gone on there, a portable pizzaria wasn't all that odd. "But if that's all you have in there, why is there a sign on there that says 'Definitely not implements of torture with which to extract horrible revenge on those who dared to criticize my part'?" Jesse shrugged. "Because a sign saying 'Definitely not clothes, a toothbrush, miscellaneous stuff, and a pizzaria' would be kinda silly." "Makes sense to me." "What's going on over there?" "Twoflower overdosed on boy band music and is metamorphosing into one of the Backstreet Boys." Jesse sweatdropped. ********** Chris Nichols, AKA High Commander Torquemada, Grand Inquisitor of the Impro Inquisition, was nonplussed. The last few hours had not been his best. John Evans had escaped from to torture of the Comfy Chair, and Chris had had no luck tracking him down. His attempt to impress Ardweden had failed miserably. Although she didn't mind the aardvark, it was becoming painfully obvious that she was going to hunt him down at any time now because of the two mini-Chris' he had given her. And, to top it all off, Ravi, his second in command, had disappeared again. Chris sighed. It looked like he might as well concede the evilness competition to Epsilon. After all, Epsilon had that Normalizer(tm) thingie, and he didn't even have a- Chris' train of thought was derailed suddenly as his senses suddenly perked up. It took him a second to realize what it meant. "Somebody just mentioned Tifa and Cloud within forty words of each other! I'm sure of it!" His expression darkened. "They shall pay. Oh, how they shall pay." Chuckling evilly, Chris climbed the stairs and poked his head out, looking on as Jesse talked to Blackmage. "Who's the new guy?" he asked Eslington. "Jesse Ellman. I think he said he wrote an Ultra part." Chris grinned wickedly. "Jesse Ellman, the evil one? The one who tried to pair up Tifa with Cloud? Oh, this is perfect!" Cackling, Chris retreated back into the basement, mind racing to come up with an appropriate torture for such a horrid fiend. ********** Having found his clothes and won a moral victory over Epsilon Yun Cheolsu began doing what he does best... ...wandering aimlessly looking for something to do. No sooner had he gotten downstairs when a woman in rather loud clothing came quite close to running him over. Yun looked down into the woman's face. She was quite attractive but was crying. From the looks of it she seemed to have been crying for quite some time. "..." Yun said. He was never good at this type of thing. "What's wrong?" he finally managed to eke out. "Scott's gone!" she wailed, "Someone took him! Someone took Scott!" She then broke down crying into Yun's shoulder. Yun noticed a piece of paper clutched in her hand. He took it from her as gently as he could manage and read it. "Dear ImproGoobers," it said, "If you are looking for W4's corpse, I have it. Meet me at Sea World at midnight or Scotty-boy becomes whale food. Signed MTG." Yun reread the message. "Woof's dead?" he wondered aloud. This made the woman, whose name was Jess according the the nametag she wore, cry even harder. Being the insensitive git that he was, Yun ignored Jess and tried to find an admin who could do something about the note. ********** Rain returned to the attic with a sledgehammer and walked silently over to the Normalizer(tm) pausing only to watch Aaron trying to force feed the squirrel head to Cousin Pete. "Well," Rain said lifting the hammer, "Here goes nothing!" Rain raised the hammer preparing to do horrible, nasty things to the Normalizer(tm). Epsilon and Blade closed their eyes, being unable to stand watching their dream get the Gallagher treatment by an idiot with a hammer. But the expected horrible crunching noise of iron against plastic did not come forth. The reason for this was a young man sticking his head through the trap door. "..." the young man said, "I see you're all kind of busy here. I'll look somewhere else." "Wait," Hardhead Fred screamed, "Get us down from here!" The young man (Yun Cheolsu for those of you who care) looked down the row at Blade, Epsilon and Hardhead Fred. His gaze landed on Epsilon. "..." Yun said, grinning. "What goes around comes around, I guess." With that he closed the door and was gone. Rain, who had completely forgotten about the Normalizer(tm), walked over to Aaron and asked, "Who was that?" "I dunno," Aaron replied, offering a bit of squirrel head to Rain, "Want some?" "Sure," Rain said taking, a bite out of the head. ********** Yun came back downstairs still searching for an admin. Unfortunately he only recognized one person, a member of the Backstreet Boys who Yun's logical mind told him could not possibly be there. What Yun did see was a large crowd of people gathered in the middle of the living room. He heard the words "Twoflower," and "Nick Carter," being tossed around. "What's going on?" he asked a nearby girl who was dressed in a white sweater with a red K plastered on the front. "Twoflower overdosed on boy-band music and is metamorphosing into Nick Carter." "..." Yun said, "Well... I just got this note and I think one of the admins should see it." Jake Wallace, upon hearing the word "admin," walked up to Yun and took the note from him. Jake read the note carefully. "I'm not sure who MTG is," Yun said, "I don't think I've ever seen him on IFF." Jake crumpled the note in his hand. "MechaTomGreen," he said flatly. ********** After finishing his conversation with Blackmage, Jesse tossed his bag into a corner and started to explore the house. Before he got far, however, he notcied a sign on a door. "JeSSe, cOme DoWN heRE. -AnOn" it said. Jesse paused for a moment. "Okay, I REALLY don't like the look of that," he said, taking a step back. After a moment, though, he put his hand on the doorknob. "Ah, what the hey. I came here for the weirdness, and this looks fairly weird." Turning the knob, Jesse stepped in. And promptly fell down the stairs, which had been coated with grease. With a grunt, Jesse landed upside down in a well-padded chair. "Bloody hell," groaned Jesse, attempting to stand up and failing miserably. "What kind of schmuck covers stairs with grease?" With some effort, he managed to pull himself into a normal sitting position. "At least I landed in a comfy chair." "Not a comfy chair. THE Comfy Chair." Jesse placed his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose. Squinting, he saw what appeared to be a man in an ornate set of robes. "Who're you?" The figure chuckled evilly. "I am the Grand Inquisitor of the Impro Inquisition. You are free to tremble in fear now." Jesse sighed. "Ya know, I was kinda expecting something like this when I-" "Nobody expects the...hey, wait a minute, that's not how it's supposed to go," he said, confused. "You're supposed to say you weren't expecting it, and then I say..." "Will you just get on with it!" Jesse yelled. "Why the hell did you grease up those steps? And aren't you Chris Nichols?" "Bwahahahahaha!" the Grand Inquisitor laughed, "Of course not! I am High Commander Torquemada of the Impro Inquisition!" "You are Chris Nichols, aren't you?" Jesse shook his head. "This is about the Tifa/Cloud thing in my Ultra part, isn't it?" "Of course it is!" yelled He Who Was Not Chris Nichols, taking off his hood. "And you shall pay dearly for your heresy!" "Oh please," Jesse said, "what're you gonna do, torture me?" "Actually, yes." Jesse blinked. "This is the Impro Inquisition, after all." "And what, praytell, is stopping me from just walking away?" High Commander Torquemada (who actually was Chris Nichols, not that he'd ever admit it) smiled and pulled out a small remote control. He then pressed a button, which caused ropes to spring out of the chair, wrapping Jesse up like something that gets really wrapped up. "Well, that would certainly do it," said Jesse, surprised. "So what're you gonna do to me?" "What do you mean? You're already being subjected to the most vicious, most blood-curdling, most chillingly horrifying torture known to man... THE COMFY CHAIR! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Jesse stared flatly at the Grand Inquisitor. "The comfy chair," he said, monotone. "Of course! The Comfy Chair is the most insidious torture device known to man!" said his sadisticness, an evil glint in his eyes. "So, are you ready to repent your sins and admit that you have no writing skill whatsoever?" Meanwhile, Jesse's left eyebrow was twitching like an epileptic hummingbird. "You call this... torture?" The Grand Inquisitor looked at Jesse, confused. "Of course I do. It's the Comfy Chair." "Exactly!" yelled Jesse. "It's a comfy chair! It's comfortable! Comfortable is good!" "You mean," Chris said, realization dawning on him, "that you're not in indescribable agony?" Jesse finally lost it. "Of course not! It's a comfy chair! What kind of Inquisitor are you?" Jesse's face was now bright red. "This has gotta be the stupidest thing I've ever encountered. Torture is the rack. Torture is being forced to listen to nothing but John Tesh, Kenny G, Barry Manilow, Vanilla Ice, and the Backstreet Boys for all eternity. Torture is being castrated with a baseball bat. THIS is NOT torture." His evilness gaped for a moment as he desperately tried to get the thought of the baseball bat thing out of his mind. Shaking his head, he turned back to Jesse. "So people like sitting in the comfy chair." "YES!!!" Chris smiled suddenly. "That's what I've been doing wrong! The reason none of my plots have worked like I wanted them to is because I wasn't actually torturing the people!" He reached down and shook Jesse's hand, which was still bound to the chair. "Thank you! You've given me new hope in my battle for the title of supreme evil guy at this party! How can I ever repay you?" "You could start by letting me go," Jesse said, putting on his best friendly smile. "Oh, I don't think so." Jesse stopped smiling. "Huh?" "Now that you've shown me the true path of the Inquisitor, I have to practice and hone my skills." The evil glint returned to the Grand Inquisitor's eyes. "Besides, you still have to pay for your crimes." Realization now dawned on Jesse. "I just talked you out of simply forcing me to sit in this chair, and into doing something that going to be extremely unpleasant, didn't I?" he said flatly. "Mm-hmm," said Chris, idly twirling a spoon. "Oy." ********** In the native camp, two prisoners fumed over their predicament. After Jonatan and Calculus had been captured by the felicitous natives, they had been forced by spearpoint into a small hut and then been tied up, back to back. And while they seemed to have been left alone for the time being, the sounds of drums and crackling fires outside were telltale signs that the peace would not last. Or, to sum it up in one sentence: "This is way %&#!¤% up." Jonatan nodded, not that Calculus could see it. "Agreed. While I've wanted to study rites like these sometime, I'd have preferred not to be the main attraction. You think we should escape?" Calculus rolled his eyes, although it was a wasted effort. "No, why should we? Let's just sit here and wait until a bunch of half-naked catguys drag us out and eat us or sacrifice us to their volcano god or ritually deflower us or whatever they have in plans. That would be a really good plan." "Well, if you think so." Thump. Calculus had just performed a rare facefault. "No of course I don't think so!" he bellowed, although not so loud as to attract unwanted attention. "Just checking. Escape then." There was a pause. "Damn, I can't reach my pockets... hey Calc, can you take something from my left pocket?" "I'm NOT reaching into your pocket, Streith. Who knows what I might find?" "It's either that or human sacrifice..." "Well, okay..." Calculus grumbled. Squirming a bit, he managed to work his tied-up hands into the left pocket of the mysterious coat. "What am I looking for?" "Try to find a glass bottle with a glass plug. Take out the plug and pour it on my ropes. AND DON'T SPILL ANYTHING ON YOURSELF!" "You play a lot of adventure games, right?" He searched around in the pocket until his hands touched the smooth surface of a glass container. He quickly retrieved it. "Pour it on your ropes, right? What is it, anyway?" He started pouring. "Hydrocloric acid." Calculus nearly dropped the bottle. "You carry ACID around?! Isn't that dangerous?!" "Maybe you're right... I'll drop it off somewhere later." Jonatan pulled on the acid-eaten ropes, snapping them easily. "Ah, sweet freedom." He took out a pair of safety scissors and freed Calculus. "And now, for our next mad imagineering skeelz trick... let's get out of here." "Well, how do you propose to do that?" Jonatan glared slightly. "Must I do everything?" Calculus shrugged. "Sue me for being lazy, why don't you." "So I am." A lightbulb lit up over his head. Since the hut didn't have electricity, this could mean only one thing. "Idea!" He took out what looked like three large pokeballs. "Catnip grenades." "Catnip grenades?" Calculus blinked twice. "Why on Earth--" "Must I have a reason for what I do?" He weighed the grenades in his hand, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Yes, the catnip extract they let out should distract those catguys..." He reached into his coat and pulled out a lawn trimmer. "Here. Try to hold them off with this. Sorry I don't have anything more offensive, but you know the rules." Calculus took the item, trying to not think about how it could have fit in there. "Why couldn't we have landed on the island of catgirls instead?" Jonatan mused, quickly looking over the grenades a last time, making sure they were primed. "Let's go." Before they left the hut, Calculus muttered to himself, "What was it now about catnip..." ********** "Aw, no, don't do that!" Jesse whined, "C'mon, that's my favorite spleen!" ********** "Who's MechaTomGreen? When did Woof die? Where the hell are we going?" Yun was trapped in obnoxious blabbermouth mode after having been drafted into service, along with Lawernce Chu, Random, the Pinnick brothers, NeoVid, and Rags, who had insisted on coming, on the hunt for MechaTomGreen and the deceased Kichigaisakka. This pathetic excuse for a task force was following Jake to the outskirts of Chez Impro knowing neither where they were going nor whether or not Jake knew. "Epsilon turned Tom Green into a mega-cyborg a few days before you showed up. W4 fell down the basement stairs while you were passed out. And I have no clue where we're going," NeoVid answered. "We're going to get Jonatan's dragon," Jake said, "We'll need a weapon against MechaTomGreen, and the dragon is the best bet we have." "..." Yun said. ********** "You and your great plans," Calculus complained, thrusting the trimmer at the horde of catguys. "Don't you know anything about catnip?" They shied away temporarily. "How was I supposed to know it'd make them MORE excited? I blame their genetic makeup, or something." Jonatan kicked down a few approaching catguys from the rock they had escaped up on. "I suppose you have a better idea?" ********** Meanwhile, Roe and Dan, muddy and tired, trekked back to the van, only to find that the van had moved. There was a note on a tree nearby that said "I found the Ragnarok, and I'm going to wait there. Luv, Delfina." Included was a little map. Of course, seeing as the Ragnarok was parked just a little bit aways, the map wasn't really necessary. Roe looked up. "Well, that was quick. How do you think she found it?" "She probably used her innate ice-cream sense and found it. Todd left some on board from the last little trip we took," Dan replied. "All right, let's go talk to her and see if there's anything on the Ragnarok that we can use to find Todd and Calc." "Wasn't there someone else too? Uh, Jonatan?" "...oh right. Him too." As he approached the Ragnarok a loud voice came out of thin air. Well, not really thin air, it was out of the Ragnarok's loudspeaker system. "Dan? Roe? Are we ready to go?" Delfina asked, as she stepped out of the Ragnarok. Roe shook his head. "We can't." "We don't have Calc or Jonatan... and we can't find Todd either," Dan added. "And?" Delfina complained. "They're old enough to take care of themselves. I want to get OUT OF HERE!" She forced herself to calm down. "Give me one reason for us not to fly away from here." "Well, I didn't want to tell this at a situation like this, but..." Roe scratched his head. "...Jonatan kinda jury-rigged the controls of the van. I don't know how to use them." Delfina buried her face in her hands. "Trapped. Just great. Just GREAT. And I can't get the Ragnarok to fly, we need Todd." She looked up, her face wooden. "I suppose you have no other option than to..." She shuddered. "...face the catguys." Behind her, Mount Fuji appeared, outlined by a rising sun. "Us? Why us? And where did the mountain come from?" Dan asked Roe. "I thought we were somewhere in the Pacific Ocean." Roe quickly hushed him, not wanting to spoil the moment. The effect died down, and the mountain returned back to Japan. Delfina brought out her Mallet of Doom and hefted it dramatically. "All right! Go!" "Yeah!" Dan said, because saying "No!" would have sounded stupid. "Shouldn't we prepare some sort of plan?" Roe asked. "Probably." Delfina shrugged. "But I'm locking myself in the Ragnarok while you search." She shuddered. "I [HATE] cats!" After sneezing a bit she waved cheerily at Dan and Roe, "Ta!" As she stepped into the Ragnarok, she disappeared from sight as the door closed behind her and locked with an audible *click*. Roe and Dan facefaulted. ********** o/" Nobody knows the trouble I seen o/" o/" Nobody knows... my sorrow o/" "Oh, be quiet," said Chris, hefting a large tub of spam, spam, mayonaise, spam, spam, bacon, and spam. ********** "Sweet Jack in Heaven!" Yun said looking up at the large dragon standing not ten yards away from him wearing a sign that said "ImproTaxi" around his neck. "Oh, yeah," NeoVid spoke up, "Jack's not god anymore, Lina is." "..." Yun said looking at NeoVid, "What the hell else have I missed?" "Ravi and Illyria in the back of a limo," Lawrence said flatly. "..." Yun said yet again, "I don't want to know." "Are you sure this thing is safe?" nihility asked cautiously, "I mean didn't you have trouble controlling this thing." "It started eating people," Random answered, "But Katy's been keeping it well fed so it should be safe for a few hours." As if on cue the dragon leaned over and *chomped* NeoVid. "..." Yun, Aaron, nihility, and Rags said in unison. But you, dear reader, need not worry about NeoVid. If the dragon had decided to chow down on any of the others he would have had a nice snack. However he had attempted to consume not a normal human, but a mighty avatar who had been spending an lot of time with Zombie Elvis. In other words he not only bore the faint, highly unpleasant taste of zombie but was able to use his fantastic overpowered-avatar abilities to escape the dragon's jaws unharmed. If you don't know what Yun said as NeoVid emerged, you need to work on your pattern recognition skills. "Well," NeoVid said dryly, glaring at Random, "That was fun." Random laughed nervously. Jake climbed on the dragon's back. "Are you all coming or not?" Yun, NeoVid, Random, the Pinnick brothers, Lawrence, and Rags sighed and climbed on the dragon's back. Random took the reins from Jake. "Where to?" he asked. "Sea World," Rags replied, "MechaTomGreen said something about Woof being whale food so I assume he'll be at the whale tank." ********** o/" I never wanna hear you say o/" o/" I want it that way. o/" "You're sick, you know that?" said Jesse, grimacing. "And off key too." ********** Rain turned away from doing something unspeakable to Hardhead Fred and noticed a pair of ropes hanging from the ceiling with Epsilon and Blade rather conspicuously not attached. "Uhm," he said tapping Aaron on the shoulder, "I think we've got a problem." Aaron looked up from Cousin Pete's mangled body and sweatdropped. "I knew I should have taken that knot tying class when I was a kid." ********** In the confines of Chez Impro, Nick Carter and Kevin Richardson (formerly known as Twoflower and Lusipher) attempted to drown their sorrows in whatever it was Zombie Elvis had set down in front of them. Groans of agony emanated from both the basement and the attic, and a few of the Improgirls "wai"ed when they saw the two bishounen singers sitting at the bar, but all sounds went unheard by the unwilling Backstreet Boys. "This sucks," Nick/Twoflower said. "Yeah," Kevin/Lusipher said. The pair downed their drinks and then called Zombie Elvis over for another round. ********** Deep in the bowels of Chez Impro Mark Poa, using his location software, made a surprising discovery. "What's this?" he asked no one in particular, "What is W4 doing in the dolphin tank at Sea World?" ********** The dragon flew over San Diego with the Pinnick brothers trailing behind, snowboards strapped to their feet in what could be called water-skiing except that there was no water involved, and they were riding snowboards. NeoVid, Rags, Yun and Lawrence sat two by two behind Jake and Random who piloted the beast toward their destination... ...Sea World. ********** Katy came back with a plate of dragon food and silently wondered where it had flown off to. ********** "Umm, Chris, put down that baseball bat..." ********** Phreaks and Geaks: Aaron: Behind the Dragon - Going to Sea World Aaron Shattuck In the Attic with Rain Anko: Chez Impro Ardweden: Chez Impro BlackMage: Living Room Blade: Not in the Attic with Shattuck and Rain Calculus: Isle of the Catguys Chris: Basement - with Jesse ColdFury: Chez Impro Damien Roc: Chez Impro Dan: Isle of the Catguys Delfina: Isle of the Catguys - in the Ragnarok Epsilon: Not in the Attic with Shattuck and Rain Eslington: Living Room Eternal Lost Lurker: Living Room Fatman: Chez Impro H: Chez Impro HottCoffee: Chez Impro Jake: On the Dragon - Going to Sea World Jesse: Basement - with Chris Jonatan: Isle of the Catguys Kate Malloy: Chez Impro Katy: Chez Impro Kimberli: Chez Impro Illyria: Chez Impro Lady Chaos: Chez Impro Lawrence: On the Dragon - Going to Sea World Lusipher: Chez Impro - still disguised as "K-Sama" Mark Poa: Chez Impro Myth: Chez Impro NeoVid: On the Dragon - Going to Sea World Nick: Living Room nihility (Eric): Behind the Dragon - Going to Sea World Omi no Miko: Chez Impro Phoebe: Bedroom - with ravi Rain: In the Attic with Aaron Shattuck Rags: On the Dragon - Going to Sea World Random: On the Dragon - Going to Sea World ravi: Bedroom - with Phoebe Roe: Isle of the Catguys Squall: Not in the Basement Stephica: Chez Impro Steve Scougall: Chez Impro Tameran: Living Room Todd: Isle of the Catguys Twoflower: Chez Impro - disguised as Nick Carter Wang Tu Chun Out cold - Bedroom W4: Dead - In the dolphin tank Yun Cheolsu: On the Dragon - Going to Sea World Chippy: Glove compartment Cousin Pete: Chez Impro - Being tortured by Shattuck Dragon: Flying to Sea World Evil Neighbours From Hell: Next door to Chez Impro Hardhead Fred: Chez Impro - Being tortured by Rain Iron Chef Chen Kenichi: Kitchen Jess: Bar Keith Richards: Dragon's Dinner Leonardo DiCaprio: Dead, and I'm loving it! Mecha Tom Green: Sea World - Doing bizarre things to W4 Ragnarok: Fleeing the Isle of the Catguys Ura: Bar Zombie Elvis: Still Dead - Bar ********** AUTHOR'S NOTES: First off I really have no right to say this is my part since more than half of it came from Jonatan, Jesse, and Delfina and a lot of what I did write was thought up by ravi and Rain. The members of the "Save W4 from MechaTomGreen" task force were deliberately chosen from characters who had been neglected. Random and the Pinnick brothers' plotlines had died while NeoVid, Jake, Lawrence and I never really had plotlines (unless you count NeoVid's out of body experience which only lasted one episode.) Lawrence had even been reduced to a mere running gag at one point, and I've been listed as "Out Cold - Game Room" since episode 17! Rags was included because I told him in #improfanfic that I'd bring him in when I wrote my part. When I had to find a surrogate for ravi, who was busy with Phoebe when Jess came looking, I decided to kill two birds with one stone. And, yes, I realize all of the members of Task Force Woof are men. If you want to say something about me being a macho pig that's fine with me. Thanks to Jonatan, Jesse and ravi for prereading and commentary. Who to bla^H^H^H credit: Jonatan: All scenes involving the Isle of the Catguys except what Delfina wrote. Delfina: The Mount Fuji scene. Jesse Ellman: All scenes in which he is involved, including the short cut-scenes. ravi: The W4/Tom Green plotline, Twoflower's transformation. Rain: The Rain/Shattuck scenes. Me: Fleshing out and writing ravi and Rain's ideas and editing Jesse and Jonatan's scenes.