----------------------------------------------------------- IMPROPARTY Created by W4 Part 31 Will the Real W4 Please Stand Up, or Not Or The Land of A Thousand References (well maybe not that many) Written by the (\/)ajin ----------------------------------------------------------- Ardweden and Delfina were upset. Ok, that's an understatement. Unfortunately, to adequately describe how upset they were it might scar the minds of the impressionable children reading this...Oh, who am I kidding. To keep it short, they were pissed. And the focus of their ire was one Phoebe. There were a couple reasons for this. One, she had kidnapped Quistis, Ard's pet aardvark. Two, she had covered them with paint. "I'm going to kill her!" "Ne, Del-chan, we may find a clue some where, we just got to keep looking." OK, so Del was pissed and Ard was calm. Any way, at that moment, an arrow whizzed past Delfina's head and hit the wall with and audible *thunk* and dropped to the floor. At about that time Myth and Eslington walked into the room, still cosplaying. "Yo, wazup, D," Myth greeted them. "Now don't you start going into that." "Ok, fine, Del. So what are you two doing?" "Well, we're..." "Trying to find Phoebe, so that we can make her give Quistis back," Ardweden interrupted her sister. "Hey, look at this." "What is it Eslington?" "It looks like a note is attached to this arrow. Let's see, it's been written using scraps of newspaper. It says: 'iF YOu wanT TO sEe qUiStIce aGAin tHen Be N tHe KitcHEn n 5 MiNukEs.'" All three girls blinked at this. "What's a 'minuke?'" "Guess they ran out of 't's. Well we've got to hurry." So they all went in the direction of the kitchen. Meanwhile, in the shadows skulked a form. "Exterminator this is Mouse Trap. The Rats have taken the bait." "Good, WoofTwo, now go take care of Delfina, Ardweden, and Myth." "That's who I'm talking about Majin." "First off, call me (\/)aster, I did make you. Second, they are the MICE." "Fine, I'll take care of the rats then." "No need, I'll deal with them myself you get yourself back here." "Ten, four." "Also learn to count." WoofTwo facefaulted. ----------------------------------------------------------- Chris Nichols was on the hunt. He was determined to find the Mad Scougall and punish him mightily for dismantling his greatest instrument of torture, the Comfy Chair. In the midst of his reverie, ran into a sign. "Ow! Who put this sign here? Eh? What's this? 'Steven Scougall is not hiding near the iceberg, nope definitely not.' Ah, so he thought he could fool me with such a simple decoy. I'll show him." And so he headed to the iceberg. ----------------------------------------------------------- Epsilon and Blade were busy planning how to implement the next Deadly Pun. Unfortunately they would have to wait because a pair of metal chains dragged them into a glowing, red, rectangular portal. ----------------------------------------------------------- Phoebe was evilly planning what to do next to the Partygoers. She too would have to wait to decide on that seeing as how she and Quistice were getting sucked into the gaping maw of what appeared to be a giant worm. After it had acquired its prey it vanished from sight. ----------------------------------------------------------- "Well, we're here." Eslington said as he looked around the kitchen. "You know, I'd have thought the person who left this message would have been waiting here." Myth shrugged. "We're a few seconds early, so I guess we can wait here-eeeeee." Without warning, the floor seemed to open up below them in the form of a black window shaped portal. ----------------------------------------------------------- Chris had made it to the iceberg. He noticed yet another sign: "Steven is most definitely not in this dark blue police box/phone booth with the light bulb on top. ->" "This is such a foolish ploy. Does he really think I am that stupid?" He walked over, opened the door to the phone booth when the phone rang. He did the only "logical" thing, he picked up the receiver. "Hello?" "Hello, Chris. There is no spoon. Oh, and you have proven that you were that stupid." "WHAT?!" The door to the booth closed and locked. From the outside one could see lightning arc from the top of the light bulb to the base of the police box and get pulled into the square that was the out line of that base. Unfortunately there was no one to see the light show, so the neatness of it was wasted. ----------------------------------------------------------- All eight people dropped from the sky just outside an ominous castle (didn't we have one of these last part?) with a stone dragon perched on the top. The four heroes looked at the four villains. The villains did the same with the heroes. They continued on like this until Ardweden spoke up. "Alright, Phoebe, where's Quistice?" "SHE IS SOME PLACE SAFE!" boomed a disembodied voice, which needless to say surprised the octet quite a bit. "Who dares abduct the great Epsilon!?" "YOU MAY CALL ME 'WYVERN,' [{EPSI!}]" "Thou shalt not-" "YOU [DARE] TO ORDER ME?" "never mind." "NOW, WHO EVER GETS TO ME FIRST GETS THE AARDVARK AND A CHANCE AT A SPECIAL BONUS!" "Um, question." "YES, MYTH?" "What do we need to do to get to you?" "YOU'LL KNOW. NOW ENTER!" Slowly, the doors to the castle opened and the eight people entered. ----------------------------------------------------------- A shadowy figure stood before them. "Each group shall take a side and must pass each the gates in turn. And remember: 'Four as one shall make the seal become undone.' Now go." Then, he disappeared and they went to their respective doors. I won't bore you with the details (ok I'm being lazy), but let it suffice to say that our heroes, Eslington, Myth, Delfina, and Ardweden, got to the end by using teamwork, while the other four bumbled without working together though ending with them cheating, Phoebe betraying the others and ultimately getting sent back to the party, more on this later. ----------------------------------------------------------- "So what was the bonus you talked of, Wyv?" Ardweden asked the floating head that appeared before them, all the while petting Quistice. "YOU MUST DESIDE WHERE WHICH OF THESE SCRYM HIDES THE REAL W4! IF YOU CHOOSE CORRECTLY THEN HE SHALL BE TRASPORTED TO WHEREVER YOU WISH." "Oh that shouldn't be to hard," Delfina was rather optimistic in her statement. "NOW EACH OF THE CANDIDATES SHALL SPEAK IN TURN. SAY THE NUMBER OF WHO YOU THINK IS THE REAL SCOTT WATSON." They watched the five curtains and waited. A rather bestial voice growled from behind the first curtain, "GRRRRR." "Nope." Then a metallic voice rang out from the second, "Greetings." "Nah-ah." Then someone who sounded like W4 called from the third, "Pass me up, I'm not him." "Ok, I guess we'll believe him." Then nothing came from the last two curtains. Finally, "Wyvern" said to them, "YOU HAVE HEARD FROM THE CANDIDATES, NOW CHOOSE!" "But, but..." Quistice decided that it was time to unveil the fifth curtain, and thus scurried over to it and did so, revealing a young man in a black vest at a control booth. "IGNORE THE MAN BEH-aah forget it. My name is the (\/)ajin, and am the one who brought you here." The four just stared blankly at him then went into Mario references. Which resulted in (\/) going demon headed. "I DO NOT LOOK LIKE MARIO!!! Now, what do you want done with W4's body." "Why not return it to his grave on the iceberg?" "Very well, it is done. I shall now return you to the party from where I retrieved you. Farewell." With a wave of his hand, the four people and the aardvark disappeared. "Now, may I go?" "Yes, WoofTwo. And you should have some minions as well to help fulfill what ever it is you wish to do. Now you shall return to the subbasement of the party and find your minions there." "Excellent. Nice doing business with you." "Oh, just leave. *sigh* That felt good." ----------------------------------------------------------- In the subbasement of the party, which had been deserted by those who were there in the previous part(how convenient), Phoebe found herself and her "teammates" returned in relatively good condition. She just couldn't get rid of an itching sensation on her left shoulder. That was when she heard a familiar voice. "So these are the minions that he referred to. They'll do quite nicely." At that moment Phoebe decide to lift the sleeve of her shirt and saw a marking: "W 4 2" WoofTwo laughed maniacally. ----------------------------------------------------------- The four heroes found themselves transported to the bar and saw a young, thin, non-zombie Elvis acting as bartender. "Well, were back. Though the whole thing seemed a bit pointless." "Yeah, Del. Anyhoo, Eslington and I are going back to our cosplaying, later." Myth dragged Eslington off again. "So, you want to go back to hunting Phoebe?" "Naah, I got Quistice back so I'm happy. Well what do ya know we're no longer covered with paint." "Heh, so we are. Well, I'm still going to try to find her to get revenge, bye Tsuin-chan." ----------------------------------------------------------- At the iceberg, Jess was holding a vigil over W4 empty grave. Suddenly, the grave was no longer empty, it now had W4's coffin in it. Jess did the only thing she could think of in that situation: she ran away screaming her head off. ----------------------------------------------------------- At (\/)ajin's castle, (\/) was trying his hand a fortune telling, specifically his own. He shook the glowing glass orb in his hands. "Scotty Woofer Ball, will my impro part be a success?" "HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW, I'M NOT SOME MAGIC EIGHT BALL, SO QUIT SHAKING ME AROUND! AND I ASKED YOU TO NOT BRING ME BACK EVEN AS A GHOST IN THIS CHAPTER, MAJIN! AND FOR ANOTHER THING..." {end} ----------------------------------------------------------- Author Notes (Or where (\/) apologizes profusely(well maybe not): Damn I had a tough schedule to work with when I had to start on this part. Sorry for not getting this out sooner, but like I told Roe when I asked for an extension, RL gave me a swift boot to the head. I really enjoyed writing this, even under my time constraints. I'd like to thank W4 for starting this. And Roe for letting me in the queue and giving me an extension on this. I'd also like to thank you for reading this. This is probably the last time I sign up solo. Thanks all, Later. A list of references that appeared in the chapter(for those that didn't get them): Part of the opening scene: From "The Cmplt Wrks of Wllm Shkspr" by the Abbreviated Shakespeare Group. "Stop the Sketch": Monte Python's Flying Circus. The Titles: From the songs "The Real Slim Shady"(refrain more or less) and "Land of a Thousand Dances"(title) Myth's first line: Oh come on, as if you don't know. The Ransom note: 1) Minukes came from "The Abyss" 2) Replaced letter do to missing one came from a TMNT episode. Epsilon's portal: The "Ultima" games. Phoebe's "portal": "Final Fantasy 3" The Heroes' portal: "Time Bandits" Chris's portal: A cross between Dr. Who and Bill and Ted. The castle: "Chrono Trigger" "Four as one...": a skewed version of a line from Reboot The Main room castle scene: Wizard of Oz ----------------------------------------------------------- Dramatis Personae: Aaron Pinnick: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Aaron Shattuck: Chez Impro - current location unknown Angelcat: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Anko: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Ardweden: Chez Impro - Bar with Quistice BlackMage: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Blade: Chez Impro - Subbasement, minion of WoofTwo Calculus: Chez Impro - Basement Cham: Chez Impro - hosting the Cheese Fest Chris: Chez Impro - Subbasement, minion of WoofTwo ColdFury: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Coyote: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Damien Roc: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Dan: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Delfina: Chez Impro - hunting Phoebe Epsilon: Chez Impro - Subbasement, minion of WoofTwo Eslington: Chez Impro - cosplaying with Myth Eternal Lost Lurker: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Falcon: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Fatman: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Greg: Chez Impro - Basement H: Chez Impro - current location unknown HottCoffee: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Jake: Chez Impro - Basement Jeff: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Jesse: Chez Impro - de-mimed Jonatan: Chez Impro - watching TV Kate Malloy: Chez Impro - Basement Katy: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Kimberli: Chez Impro - Iceberg Illyria: Chez Impro - Basement Lady Chaos: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Lawrence: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Mark Poa: Chez Impro - watching TV Mechalink: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Montae: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Myth: Chez Impro - cosplaying with Eslington NeoVid: Chez Impro - Watching TV Nick: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest nihility (Eric): Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Omi no Miko: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Phoebe: Chez Impro - Subbasement, minion of WoofTwo Rain: Chez Impro - current location unknown Rags: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Random: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Ravi: Chez Impro - Bar Robin: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Roe: Chez Impro - Living Room Samantha: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Scott Schimmel: Chez Impro - Basement Squall (John Evans): Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Stephica: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Steve Scougall: Chez Impro - watching TV Tameran: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Todd: Chez Impro - Basement Twoflower: Chez Impro - Basement VVerevvolf: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Wang Tu Chung: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest W4: Dead still - back in iceberg grave Yun Cheolsu: Chez Impro - Cheese Fest Bimbos: Loose in California Catguys: Loose in California Chippy: BBQ WoofTwo: Subbasement, with minions Cousin Pete: Moving away Dragon: Chez Impro - Front yard Evil Neighbors From Hell: Moving away Hardhead Fred: Moving away Iron Chef Chen Kenichi: Chez Impro - Kitchen, oblivious as it seems Jess: Chez Impro - Iceberg, screaming head off Keith Richards: Abu Dhabi Kieran McWatson: The Past Kimberli's Mecha: Chez Impro - Iceberg Leonardo DiCaprio: Abu Dhabi Mysterious Man: Clone tanks Mecha Tom Green: Abu Dhabi Old Man: The Past Phineas McWatson: Dead - Past and Present Quistis: Chez Impro - Bar with Ardweden Ragnarok: Chez Impro - Parking lot Ura: Chez Impro - Iceberg Young Elvis: No longer dead - bartending