Nick Marquardt glanced around the room after "sampling" the cheddar for roughly the fiftieth time. The Impro Cheese Fest was running its course, as was evident by the people simply milling around rather than sampling cheese. And also, the fact that roughly half the people present had left because of something about MTV being on the beach. This was, all hands down, Nick's favorite part of the party. The part where everyone stopped being hungry and just kind of ignored the food table. After all, that meant that everything was free for the taking. He started grabbing handfuls of cheese and stuffing them into some ziplock bags he just /happened/ to have on him, when a voice came from behind him. "And just WHAT do you think you're doing?" the annoyed-sounding male voice said. Nick turned around to face the food interloper. "Just taking some cheese to snack on later," he said. An idea came to his head, and he waved his hand, concentrating. "Nothing to worry about." ".. nothing to worry about," Cham repeated. "I can load up the rest of my ziplock bags and retreat to the living room now," Nick said, with the same handwave. "You can load up the rest of the ziplocks and go back to the living room," Cham repeated mechanically. Nick smirked as he started filling another ziplock bag. "Did you just use the Force on Cham?" asked Mechalink. Nick turned around. "Excuse me? Oh, that. Yeah, I think so," he replied, sweatdropping. Mechalink grinned and gave a thumbs-up before turning to mingle with the other Cheese Fest participants. Nick stared for a while, then turned around to continue filling bags with various kinds of cheese. ----- _/ _/_/_/_/_/_/ _/_/_/ _/_/_/ _/_/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/_/_/ _/ _/_/ _/ _/ _/ _/_/_/ _/_/ _/_/_/ _/_/_/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/_/_/ _/_/_/ _/ _/ _/_/_/_/ _/ _/ _/ _/_/ Part 33, "..." by Nick Marquardt. With help from Eric "Double Agent" Sprague, Alan "Roe" Byargeon, and Jane "Angelcat" Crockford. Created by W4, the Mad Author. ----- back in Boone, Iowa ... "I don't know. This just isn't really like him, to disappear without saying anything," the first woman said. The second woman nodded, sipping at her glass of ice water. They were currently sitting around in a contemporarily-designed living room. The first woman to speak was a younger woman, in her mid twenties. Her hair was a dirty-blonde color, her eyes blue. She wore a t-shirt and plain shorts, and unfastened sandals as her footwear. A look of concern spread across her face, as if something was really bugging her. "He didn't even call in to work. If I hadn't said something to them, he'd be out of a job now!" the first woman continued. "I know Jacque (pronounced 'Jackie'), it's just not like him. Of course, Nick acts out of character a lot, so I really don't know what the big deal is." This second woman was an older woman, in her forties, with dark hair. Stylish casual clothes were her choice of dress. She had a kind of Kasumi Tendo-like air of pleasantness about her. "Even I, his mother, sometimes don't know what he's up to." The now-named Jacque nodded. "It's just odd, Cindy, really, that he didn't even tell me, his girlfriend." Cindy, Nick Marquardt's mother, nodded and took another sip of her water. ----- Back at Chez Impro, Nick Marquardt sneezed. "What am I going to use all this cheese for?" Nick said aloud as he walked into the kitchen, heading for the fridge. A bunch of unfamiliar syllables (Japanese) answered Nick's ears. He turned towards Iron Chef Chen Kenichi just in time to see the subtitle appear-- Nick looked at the big stack of ziplock bags he was carrying. "Umm .. all kinds, really. Camambert, brie, cheddar, colby, monterey jack .." The Iron Chef said something in Japanese (which Nick couldn't understand), and the subtitle appeared in mid-air, Nick nodded and set the stack of cheese on the counter. "Wait .." he said before grabbing a bag full of cheddar. "Gotta have something to snack on." Chen nodded, grinning, and said something in Japanese. Nick facefaulted. ----- Myth and Eslington were on their way back into Chez Impro, when they ran into Nick. Literally. "Ooof! Watch where you're going, baka!" Myth shouted as she picked herself up off the ground. "Mmf. Sorry," apologized Nick, his mouth full of cheese. "That's okay." Myth replied. "Hey, could I have some cheese?" Nick nodded. "Here, take some." He held the bag out to Myth. Myth gladly took some cheese, and so did Eslington. "Hey, you two are cosplaying, aren't you. Myth, you're dressed as some kind of a cross between Ukyou and Rinoa, and Eslington is a cross between Ryouga and Squall, right," Nick observed. "Yeah. Why do you ask?" Eslington asked. Nick shrugged. "I was mostly wondering where you got the costumes." Myth dug into her pockets, producing the Wardrobe materia. "This! It's a wardrobe materia!" "Hmm .. I don't suppose it would be able to put me in a Gourry costume, would it?" Nick asked. Myth frowned cutely. "I don't know .." she replied glancing towards Eslington. "Why not? I mean, he did give us cheese and all," Eslington added, munching on the bit of cheddar. ----- Meanwhile, back in Boone, Iowa. (yes, again.) Jacque went home, feeling a little less depressed than she did before, but not really. She was still so upset that Nick was gone without a trace that she nearly tripped over one of her cats. "Aaack! Sorry, Mojo. Didn't see you there." The cat scurried out of the way of the tromping feet, joining his brother Spot on the back of the couch. Dejectedly, Jacque strode through the living room. Something about the computer .. seemed to call her. Hmm, she thought. Maybe I could look online, and see if anyone's seen him .. it's worth a shot. She booted up the computer and took a seat on a folding chair, waiting for Windows to load on her slow piece-of-crap computer. ----- *** Connecting to irc.sandwich.net:6667 ... *** Connected PING? PONG! *** Welcome to the Internet Relay Network, Smartz *** Your server is irc.sandwich.net (Sandwich.Net Internet Services) *** Running ircd version u2.10.11.alpha.00 B27eEFfHIKlMopStvW *** WHOX WALLCHOPS USERIP CPRIVMSG CNOTICE MAP SILENCE=15 MODES=6 MAXCHANNELS=10 MAXBANS=30 NICKLEN=9 TOPICLEN=160 KICKLEN=160 CHANTYPES=+#& PREFIX=@+ : are supported by this server *** - irc.sandwich.net Message of the Day - *** - 2/5/2000 17:56 *** - Welcome to Sandwich.Net's IRC server. *** - *** - For assistance, e-mail . *** Mode change (+i) *** Now talking in #Improfanfic *** Users on #Improfanfic: @Daisuke IllAway AwayFury MLCAway Angelcat jabowah Zereth Shadur @Calculus YoiDead hello all moo moo hihi Smartz ^_^ anyone seen NickM?? I don't know who NickM?? is. seen NickM NickM was last on #Improfanfic 5 days, 3 hours, 42 minutes ago. I think he's at the Party. party? yeah, he's here at the improparty. NickM is Nick Marquardt the tall blonde guy, right? yep that's him .. he didn't tell you he was going to the Party? no, I had no idea where he is!! Ahh, well I'd try to contact him at the Party then. okay. bye now then. Bye. unmoo bye! ^_^ *** Disconnected. ----- Back at Chez Impro .. Nick sneezed again. "Dangit, must be allergy season or something. Second time I sneezed today," he complained. "Now, how do you work the materia?" ----- Angelcat stood up from the terminal. "Has anyone seen Nick Marquardt around?" she asked to a passerby, who just happened to be Mechalink. Mechalink stopped. "Hmm? Oh, him. Yeah, he went to the kitchen with some cheese, I think. Why?" Angelcat frowned. "Oh, someone was looking for him in the chatroom. Someone named 'Smartz'." "That'd be his girlfriend," Falcon suddenly interjected. "Ahh, now I remember!" Angelcat ahhed. She bounced off. "I have to go find Nick and tell him!" Mechalink tapped his chin as Angelcat bounced away. "I wonder why Nick's girlfriend would be looking for him. He couldn't have just left without telling anyone there where he was going, could he?" Falcon shrugged as crickets chirped somewhere. "Who knows. By the way, do you have any idea what happened to Cham? He's been humming the Star Wars theme song over and over again." ----- Nick sneezed yet again. "Agh! What a time to forget to bring my Benadryl .. anyway, how do I look?" He spun to give everyone a good view of the costume. "Good?" Myth nodded approvingly. "You look pretty good as Gourry, actually." "Yes, I think you fit the part well," agreed Eslington. Nick spun around in front of the full-length mirror, admiring the Gourry costume. Blue was his color .. he felt good in it. He reached behind the cape, and pulled out the Sword of Light. "Heh, wow. This is, like, cool and stuff." He swung the lightsaber-like sword experimentally. "And it's weird to have a sword that looks like a lightsaber, especially considering that I used the Force on Cham earlier." Myth and Eslington facefaulted. ----- Jacque, known online as Smartz, stopped at the Sinclair gas station in central Boone. She eased her little green truck alongside a gas pump and turned off the engine. A quick update: After she'd quit mIRC, she pointed IE at the Improfanfic home page to look for any mention of a party. Lo and behold, she found one. As well as a good description of where Chez Impro was. Yes, the stack of paper from the turn-by-turn directions courtesy Mapquest was pretty unwieldy, but it was much cheaper than buying maps. Jacque chuckled to herself as she remembered that the ink and paper were "borrowed" from her parents. The pump attendant walked around to the driver's side of the truck, and Jacque cranked the window control to lower the glass. "Fill it, please," she asked. Smiling and nodding wordlessly, the attendant got to work. Jacque began wondering what would happen when she reached the party. Would Nick even be there? Would he be .. she felt her neck muscles tighten .. with some other woman? She glanced at what she'd managed to pack before leaving. A small bag of clothes, so she wouldn't stink when she got there; a plastic grocery store sack filled with various snack foods; and the biggest item, a Monster XL Super Soaker. The attendant returned to her driver's side window. "That'll be twenty-three dollars, ma'am," he requested. Jacque fidgeted in her pocket and thrust a twenty-dollar and five-dollar bill through the window. "Keep the change," she said. The pump attendant nodded. "Thanks! Have a nice day!" Jacque grinned, and cranked the window shut. She pressed down on the clutch and turned the key in the ignition, the engine starting up with its familiar clatter. Putting the truck in gear, she eased out onto the street. ----- Nick walked into the kitchen, satisfied with the looks and appreciative glances he was getting. Yes, cosplaying as Gourry was pretty fun, he had to admit. The Iron Chef was over the stove, slaving over some amazing dish and oblivious to anything else. Nick tapped his chin pensively .. and an idea came to him. He hadn't had any jello since he'd shown up at the party. One minute later, he'd returned to the kitchen and stuck a pan of water in the microwave, heating up. He grumbled a bit at the package. "Why does this stuff always have to take so long to set?" he muttered. Yun Chhölsu wandered in, munching on some pocky. "Ya! Wä kajang hässnunga?" "Huh?" Nick asked. "D'oh. What's with the costume?" Yun repeated, this time in English. Nick blinked. "Ohyeah. Myth and Eslington let me use their wardrobe materia to cosplay as Gourry. Pretty cool, huh?" He spun around, modeling. Yun nodded. "Waaaaa!" "... I take that as a yes." "So, er, what's in the microwave?" Yun asked. "Jello." "What flavor?" "Lime." "Cool! My favorite!" "Mine too!" Nick grinned. Omi no Miko bounced into the kitchen, humming some music. She stopped when she noticed Yun and Nick over by the microwave. "Cool costume!" she commented. "Thanks," replied Nick. The microwave took this opportunity to beep. "Ahh, it's done." "Chohta." Omi looked at the bowl. "What'cha making?" "Jello." Nick ripped the box open and tossed it over his shoulder, preparing to dump the contents into the searing water. Omi bounced. "Wai! I love jello! Especially--" she stopped bouncing as she noticed the color. "Ano .. grape jello isn't green." Yun nodded. "Of course not. This is lime jello." Omi turned three shades of red and she grew by a factor of three. Nick, for his part, held up a sign that read, "This is a bad thing, isn't it." "YOU'RE MAKING JELLO AND IT'S NOT GRAPE?!" Omi shouted. "Ah, heh?" Nick sweatropped profusely. Yun powerposed. "Yes, he's making lime jello! You wanna make something of it?" "..." said Omi. Nick ducked out of way as the hyper fangirl (and grape jello lover) brought her wrath down upon Yun. ----- Eric sighed with relief. At long last, he had finally made it. A flashback scene commenced, as the author finally figured out a way to handle this extra part. ----- 24 hours ago ... Eric pushed open the door leading to the parking lot and loosened his tie. He marched over to his car and got inside. Firing up the engine, he slammed his foot down on the gas and peeled out of the lot. As usual, Eric had another bad night at work. One thing was for sure. That was the last time it was going to happen. They could take that job and stick it up their ass for all he cared. He now knew what he must do. He'd been putting it off long enough. He must commence drinking, partying, and raising hell. That could only mean one thing: road trip! Once he got home and made a quick change, he began to prepare for the journey. Since he couldn't afford to bring enough of anything for everyone with the pittance that his job paid out, the only thing he was bringing was himself, some music and his car. Before leaving, he scrawled out a note to his parents saying where he went and that he didn't know when he'd be back. With all of the important stuff out of the way, he jumped back into the car and Eric's Excellent Adventure was under way. ----- The flashback scene ended. Ok, so his adventure wasn't so excellent, it just sounded good. His car however, that was a different story. There was no way that it would make it back to Michigan. Hell, he'd be lucky if it made it to the house. Speaking of which, just where was the house anyway? As fate would have it (or just call it a plot contrivance, your choice) he overheard two guys as they passed by his car while at a stoplight. "Hey, you see that iceberg floating just offshore?" said the first. "Yeah. Seemed a little strange, didn't it?" the second replied. *Iceberg? In SoCal? That has to be the party. Even if it's not, that'd still be something to see.* Eric thought to himself. Leaning out the window, he shouted, "Hey! Where's this iceberg you're talking about?" The two of them turned to face him. "Oh....you have to get on 8 west and keep going until you hit the ocean. Be careful though, lots of weird things going down in that part of town lately." replied one. Just then, a pack of screaming bimbos ran by, being chased by another pack of what looked to be male cat-human hybrids. The two guys facefaulted, and then joined the catguys in chasing the bimbos. ----- Roe scratched his head and tried to remember how he'd ended up in the living room. The last thing he remembered clearly was being in the basement after talking to Phoebe about some things. There was a buzzing sensation at the back of his head, like someone was trying to tell him something. He could almost put his finger on it, but it remained out of reach. Roe began to pace around the room trying to figure out what it was that was bothering him, but kept drawing a blank. Maybe it was the room, the empty room, with only a TV showing The Princess Bride to keep him company. If only Phoebe was around. "Just where is that sister of mine?" he asked himself. The only response was an increase in the intensity of the buzzing that was really grating on his nerves. It was rapidly growing into a nasty headache. Roe rubbed his temples. The last time he remembered having a headache like this, Phoebe had been in trouble. Roe blinked as that realization hit home. "Sis..." Roe hurried from the room to find his sister. ----- Angelcat was currently engaged in a search for NickM when she ran into Roe, or rather, he ran into her. Literally. "Oops, sorry about that," Angelcat said, looking to see who she'd run in to. Roe sat on the floor mumbling to himself and rubbing his temples with a pained expression on his face. "Are you okay?" "Damn headache... gotta find sis," Roe mumbled getting to his feet. He looked up and finally noticed Angelcat. "Perfect, I need some help. C'mon, you're with me," he said grabbing her hand and leading her down the hall. "Umm... where are we going?" "Yeah, got help, now I can find her." "Find who? Who are you looking for?" Roe stopped and turned around. "We're looking for my sister, something's happened to her." Angelcat looked at him blankly. "That still doesn't tell me who we're looking for." "Phoebe," he replied before turning and heading towards the basement. "We're looking for Phoebe." ----- "Praise Buddha, I found it!" Eric shouted in relief. This had to be it. Where else would you find a dragon tied down in the front yard and a large iceberg floating just offshore with a giant mech standing on it? His discovery came not a moment too soon either. His car was sputtering and making noises that generally meant that something was about to break. And break it did. Just as he pulled into the nearest parking space, the hood of the car shot straight up in the air, followed by gout of black smoke and a little bit of fire to boot. "Damnit!" he yelled as he jumped out of the car and ran to the trunk to grab the fire extinguisher. After the fire was out and the extinguisher put away, he finally made his way to the house. Halfway to the door he stopped. At that exact moment the hood of his car came crashing down on the roof of his car. *Wait a minute. I know absolutely NO ONE here. What if they don't let me in? I mean....I am crashing after all.* he thought to himself. Eric then turned to look at the remains of his car, "Well, it's not like I have much in the way of options at the moment." he muttered. Shrugging off any remaining doubt, he went up and knocked on the door. Steven Scougall was watching TV when there was a knock at the door. He looked around and didn't see anyone else nearby. "Well the door isn't going to answer itself, I guess." he said as he stood up. Opening the door, he was greeted by a tall man wearing a black shirt and a pair of jeans. "Hello. Welcome to the party. A little late aren't you?" Eric sweatdropped, "Yeah. I see it as being fashionably late." Steven gave him an odd look, "Fashionably?" Eric smirked, "Ok ok, I'm obscenely late. I'm Eric by the way. I also go by Double Agent. Nice to meet you...um..." Steven nodded, "Steve Scougall. Can't say that I know who you are though." Eric smiled, "Not too surprising actually. So...where is everyone?" Steven shrugged, "That's a good question. Last I heard someone was having a cheese tasting party and also something to do with MTV, jello, manwhores, and video equipment." Eric sweatdropped again, "Perhaps it's better if I don't know. I'm going to go and mingle. It was nice meeting you. See you later." "Yeah. Have fun." Steven said as he returned to the couch. Eric looked around for a moment, then made his way into the house. ----- Roe walked down the stairs into the basement with Angelcat in tow. An insane giggling could be heard from the corner, which held the dreaded Comfy Chair. Roe rubbed his temples again as they reached the basement floor only to find Aaron Shattuck and Rain standing over the comfy chair giggling like children playing with their favorite toy. The favorite toy in question just happened to be Chippy the Transvestite Gnome. "I don't want any squirrel head!" Chippy screamed as loud as he could. "Ah c'mon Chippy," Aaron chided, "I know you want to try some." "It's really good, I promise," Rain added, taking a bite out of a spleen from some unknown creature. "It's even better than rabbit spleen!" Aaron held the squirrel-head-on-a-coat-hanger just under Chippy's nose. "How can you not like something that smells and tastes so good?" "I said I don't want any! Just leave me alone!" Chippy protested. Rain looked thoughtful for a moment. "I know, maybe he'd like it better with some ketchup!" "Maybe you're right," Aaron said, nodding in agreement. "Do you have any?" "Let me see..." Rain muttered, setting down his rabbit spleen to dig in his pockets. "No... no... no... yes!" He smiled cheerfully and offered several lint covered, half-used ketchup packets to his fellow madman. Shattuck squeezed the contents of the packets onto the squirrel-head-on-a-coat-hanger and offered it to Chippy again. "How about now? It's even better with ketchup!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" screamed Chippy. "I don't want any! Just leave me alone!" Unnoticed by the two madmen, Roe and Angelcat hid in the shadows discussing what to do. "I'm not going near them, I don't want to have to try squirrel head," Angelcat protested, looking somewhat ill. Roe rubbed his temples again and muttered a few curses under his breath. "Fine, how about this then?" He leaned over and whispered his idea to her. "Well, okay, but you have to grab Shattuck." "Fine by me, it'll be so fast they won't realize what happened." Back by the Comfy Chair, Shattuck was forcing Chippy to try rabbit spleen now, while Rain busied himself securing the unfortunate gnome with duct tape. They were so absorbed in their activities that they never saw Roe and Angelcat sneaking up on them until it was too late. Roe pounced on Shattuck and dragged him towards Angelcat who was trying to subdue Rain. "Grab my hand," he shouted. Angelcat grabbed Rain's ear and reached out barely catching his hand. A moment later Roe blink teleported all four of them out of the basement. A few seconds after that, he reappeared with Angelcat wrapped around his neck. "Ack! You can let go now! *cough* We got rid of them!" "Eep! Sorry..." Angelcat sheepishly detached herself from his neck. "No proble..." was all Roe managed to get out before grabbing his head and passing out. ----- Back at the cheese fest... No one really noticed the two figures deposited in their midst. Everyone was too busy milling around and occasionally tasting cheese. If anyone WOULD have noticed, they would have taken off running, as these two figures were Aaron Shattuck and Rain. "Where are we?" asked Rain. "Hmm. Seems to be a sort of gathering," Shattuck said. "Yeah. A cheese fest." Rain glanced about. Shattuck grinned. "I like cheese." Rain nodded. "Me too." Shattuck looked at the squirrel-head-on-a-coat-hanger in his hand. "I wonder if anyone here wants to try some squirrel head?" The two insane ones took two steps before realizing they were in the middle of a rather large group of people. They turned to face each other and .. grinned. Yes, the cheese fest was doomed. And they'd soon know it. ----- Roe groggily opened his eyes to find Angelcat trying to heft him into the Comfy Chair. He groaned and tried to remember what had happened after teleporting Rain and Shattuck out of the basement. Angelcat continued trying to get him into the dreaded Comfy Chair. Why was she trying to get him into the chair... the chair... the Comfy Chair. Roe jumped up and away from the chair. "What are you doing? Don't you know how hard it is to escape the horrors of the Comfy Chair!" Angelcat frowned. "Are you sure you're ok? You must have hit your head when you fell down. What's so horrible about a comfy chair? I think they're quite pleasant." Roe frowned and looked at her. "You mean you really don't know? The Comfy Chair is one of the most famous torture devices. It's so horrifying I can't even begin to explain." Angelcat managed to sweatdrop appropriately. "Now, we need information, where can we get it," Roe asked looking around the basement. His search didn't take long since Chippy was still taped to the Comfy Chair. Roe wasted no time in ripping the hapless gnome from the chair and hanging him from the ceiling. Roe pulled a baseball bat from AdminSpace and looked at Chippy. "Now," he said, glaring at his makeshift pinata, "are you going to tell me where my sister is? Or am going to have to use you as a pinata?" "Mpmhhrpmrpmr!" stated the gnome-pinata. "What was that again," Roe asked as he ripped off the duct tape covering Chippy's mouth off. "I don't know!" "Wrong answer." Roe went to work beating information out of Chippy. The gnome seemed to know a great many things, just not what he wanted to know. In a vain attempt to tune out Chippy's shrieks, Angelcat started pacing across the room. Upon reflection, she realized that if she hadn't had her eyes closed and her fingers in her ears, she might not have tripped. "Ow!" Roe stopped in mid-swing and looked over his shoulder at Angelcat. He crossed the room and squatted down near her. "Are you okay? What happened?" "Oh, yes, I'm fine. I just tripped over this rough spot on the floor. These Inquisition guys don't have much of a repair budget, do they? I mean, look at this! They patched this hole with a door! It looks like they pulled it off of the neighbor's house, doorknob and all!" Angelcat rubbed her bruised knee in remembrance. "Doorknob?" Kneeling, Roe peered at the ground. "Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Angelcat blinked. "It couldn't possibly be..." "Oh yes it could," said Roe. 'They're not THAT dumb... are they?' he thought to himself. Angelcat slowly turned the knob and pulled. The door swung open, revealing a hurriedly dug passageway. Tunnels veered off in several directions, sloping deep under the house. Staring into the dark opening, Angelcat cried out in dismay. "Oh no! It's a maze! We'll never find Phoebe now." "Oh yes we will. Look!" Roe pointed down one path. "We'll go that way." Angelcat gazed at Roe, eyes shining in admiration. "How'd you know?" "Simple. They've marked the right tunnel with glow-in-the-dark tape so they won't get lost." Angelcat facefaulted. Roe offered a hand to help her up. "I wonder who dug this tunnel." They walked through the tunnels following the glowing arrows on the walls. After about 5 right turns they noticed a glow ahead of them. As they closed in on the glow, it became apparent that there was a room up ahead. They slowed their pace as they reached the end of the passage and peered into the room from the edge of the tunnel. At the back of the room, sitting on top of what looked like a cloning vat, sat W4, or rather, someone who looked like W4. Standing around the room were Blade, Chris Nichols, Epsilon, and Phoebe. Roe motioned to Angelcat to move back up the tunnel a short distance. "Okay, we've found her, here's the plan. We'll rush in, yell something to distract them, and I'll teleport the three of us out of there." "Something distracting?" "I don't know, just say the first thing that comes to mind, anything that you just wouldn't ever expect to see." Angelcat nodded. "Okay, then I guess we're ready to go." Roe nodded and they crept back up to the end of the tunnel. After a quick glance back into the room, he nodded to her and charged into the room. Roe grabbed his sister from behind and dragged her back towards the tunnel entrance, with Blade, Epsilon, and Chris in pursuit. Angelcat rushed up to where they were, pointed behind them, and yelled, "LOOK! IT'S TWOFLOWER IN A FUKU!" This being something completely out of the ordinary, and just one of those things you have to verify for yourself, worked as a perfect distraction. The W4 wannabe, Chris, Blade, and Epsilon all turned to look. When they turned around, their prey was already gone. ----- The cheese fest was winding down, but for the most part it was still active. People just couldn't leave .. the cheese had that much power over them. Guess when they talk about the power of cheese, they aren't lying. However, something was about to change. The author foreshadowed badly and a voice rang out: "Hey, anyone wanna try some squirrel head? I know it's not cheese, but it's yummy!" The milling people suddenly stopped milling, and grew silent. That voice .. something about it seemed to strike terror into the hearts of Improers. That voice that could only belong to Aaron Shattuck. Rain stood off to the side, and pulled out a katana. He started twirling it around at a dizzying speed, showing off a very impressively graceful martial-arts demonstration. While most people would just stand and watch in awe, these people knew better. "Oh my god! Rain's got a sword!" "AIEE! IT'S AARON SHATTUCK!" All the partygoers in the room ran screaming for the exits. And the windows. And several human-shaped holes also appeared in the walls of the room. "Awww." Aaron Shattuck sulked. "They all ran away!" Rain stopped twirling his sword abruptly and speared a random piece of brie with it. "Damn," he said, while chewing. "Oh well, more cheese for us then!" ----- Nick peered around the corner. Omi seemed to be gone, and Yun was in a heap on the floor, quite unconscious. "Thank randomdiety that Omi doesn't have access to any real weapons, or Yun would be .. quite dead." He slapped Yun around a little bit. "Wake up," he said. "Huh? ACK, NOOO, I DON'T WANNA DREAM SLAYERS AGAI-- Oh, Nick, it's you. Thank god. I thought I was dreaming." Nick smirked. "That's okay. Thanks for standing up for the jello, by the way." Yun smirked sheepishly. "I'll do anything for lime jello." Nick sweatdropped as the two left the room, passing Calculus. "Hey Calc," he said. "Haven't seen you much." Calculus shrugged. "I've been occupied." "Heh. H been keeping you busy, huh?" Yun smirked. "..." Calculus replied. Nick decided it would probably be better not to press it and left towards the living room, pulling Yun with. Calculus blinked a few times and continued on his original course through the kitchen. Something started tingling on the back of his neck .. He glanced around. No, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, just the Iron Chef at the stove preparing something, and a bowl of green liquid on the counter. The administrator shrugged, and continued on through. Wait. Back up. Green liquid? Calculus stared at the bowl on the counter. He could feel his Jello Sense[tm] tingling as he got nearer. Indeed .. he knew exactly what it was. "There's only one man who would dare make lime jello in my presence .." he powerposed, Mount Fuji rising majestically behind him. "NICK MARQUARDT." He struck another powerpose. "In the name of Truth, UNIX System Administration, and Lack of Jello, I will smite him with the Hammer of Justice!" The Iron Chef sweatdropped and blinked, wondering why or how Mount Fuji managed to get to California, and also what it was doing in the kitchen of this house. ----- Roe paced around the room while Angelcat looked worried. Phoebe was currently tied to a chair to keep her from trying to escape again. After the daring rescue, she hadn't seemed at all grateful. She had tried to escape twice already at which point, they had decided to tie her up. It shortly after that, they had discovered the "W 4 2" mark on her arm, since she had been scratching her left shoulder the whole time. "It must be mind control, why else would she want to be around Epsilon and Blade," Roe stated. Angelcat looked thoughtful for a few minutes, then said, "Maybe if we got her angry, that would bring her back to her senses." "I don't see how... well, sure, let's give it a shot." For the next hour they tried everything they could to make Phoebe angry. Threatening to rid the world of boy bands, destroying her anime collection, selling her as a slave to Epsilon, adding her to Twoflower's harem, but nothing seemed to work. "I'm out of ideas," Angelcat sighed, sitting down in a chair. Roe paced around the room a few more times then stopped. "I think, this might work," he said. Roe reached around behind his sister, into her sub-space pocket where she stored her favorite plushies, and pulled out Himitsu-kun. "A plushie?" Angelcat asked. "This, is Himitsu-kun, one of her favorites, if anything ever happened to him, she'd probably kill the person responsible. Isn't that right sis?" Roe said, looking over at his sister. Phoebe sat tied in the chair, and looked up at the plushie. "Say, if someone were to rip his arms off," he said, tugging lightly at the plushie's arms. Phoebe's left eyebrow twitched a little. "Or maybe, pull off his head and replace it with Pen-Pen's head." Phoebe glared at him, looking like she might break loose and throttle him any moment now. "Perhaps I'll just cut him open and rip out his stuffing, yeah, that would be nice," he said waving the plushie around in front of her. "Don't... even... think about it!" Phoebe yelled at him from the chair, straining against the ropes. Roe looked over at his sister who looked like she was ready to go on a murderous rampage. "Now sis..." he started, when he noticed that the mark had faded from her shoulder. "Sis! You're back!" he exclaimed picking Phoebe, and the chair, up and giving them both a big hug. Phoebe bit him on the shoulder. "Don't do that! You were going to hurt Himitsu- kun!" "No, not really, we were just trying to break the hold that W4 wannabe had over you." He gave her his best hurt look, "Do you honestly think I would EVER hurt one of your favorite plushies?" She looked at him for a minute, then relaxed a bit, "No, you wouldn't. Now untie me!" Roe produced a knife from nowhere and cut her loose. He handed Himitsu-kun over to her and gave her a hug. "It's good to have you back sis." "I'm glad to *be* back, nii-chan... There's so much to do!" ----- A green Chevrolet pickup coasted down the street on fumes. Its sole occupant gazed out. Hmm. A large iceberg with a huge mecha standing on it parked at the beach. A dragon. "Yeah, Nick's friends are weird. Almost forgot." She pulled up alongside a pretty green Honda Civic. And no, her truck wasn't the same color. She opened up the door and stepped out, stretching herself. That trip halfway across the country had been torture. She made herself up the walk to the door, and knocked. Steven Scougall, once again, decided that the door wouldn't answer itself and did the honors. "Hello," he said. "And who might you be?" "My name's Jacque .. I go by Smartz in the chatroom, and I'm Nick Marquardt's girlfriend. You're Australian, aren't you?" she said, identifying the accent flawlessly. Steven thought for a minute. "Ahh. Yes, I'm Australian. I wasn't aware that Nick Marquardt had a girlfriend, and I don't go into the chatroom .." Jacque shrugged and sighed. "Have you seen Nick, anyway?" "Can't say as I have," Steven replied. "Come on in, though, he's bound to be here somewhere." The woman accepted the invitation and entered Chez Impro. ----- ".. so anyway, I've always kind of wanted to be the Defender of Lime Jello." Nick nodded. "I see," he eloquently responded. "One thing I've been wondering..." "Mwè?" Nick stared at Yun. "Why do you always say stuff in Korean? It seems like an odd habit." Yun shrugged. "Well, you see--" "AHEM." Both Improers turned towards the voice. "Uh, hi Calc," Nick said. "Something botherGURK!" "NO ONE MAKES LIME JELLO IN MY PRESENCE. [NO ONE.]" the very angry admin said, while holding Nick up by his neck. "HALT!" Yun called out, powerposing. "I, Yun Chhölsu, shall defend Lime Jello with all my capacity as the Improfanfic Lime Jello Defender!" Calculus turned towards the cajun. "*ack* ... air ..." Nick gasped through the throttling. The admin dropped the tall blonde author cosplaying as Gourry. Said author held up a small sign reading, "I think this is gonna get ugly," and promptly made like a tree. "Now, about this .. lime jello defender stuff .." said Calculus as he reached into AdminSpace. ----- "Nick?" "EeppleasedontkillmeIdontwannadie*sob*.." Jacque stared. "Is that you?" Nick turned around, recognizing the voice. "Jacque? What're you doing here at the Improfanfic Party?" Jacque frowned. "I might ask you the same thing," she replied. "I mean, you left without telling anyone where you were.. you'd be out of a job now if it wasn't for me! And then to top it off you .. you .. " Tears welled up in the woman's eyes. "You didn't even say goodbye to me!" Nick sighed, putting his arms around Jacque. "I'm sorry. I just .. wasn't thinking. I'm kinda dense that way sometimes, you know?" "Yeah, yeah. I know." Jacque sniffled. Nick pulled a handkerchief from somewhere, and passed it to the crying woman. "I'm really sorry." A loud honking sounded from the handkerchief as Jacque blew her nose. "It's just that .. I thought that you'd probably gone and .. found someone else .." "I .. I wouldn't ever do anything like that." Nick sighed. "I love you, Jacque. I always will, and nothing will ever come between us. I wouldn't ever hurt you like that." Soft sobbing reached Nick's ears as the woman hugged him tightly, sobbing into his chest. She sniffled, rubbing her nose with the handkerchief again. "I never doubted, but you know how I am, and I know how you are, and .." she trailed off and started crying again. "There, there," Nick said, stroking Jacque's hair. "It'll be okay .. we gotta move though." "Huh?" Jacque said, wiping a tear away from her eye. "Calc's likely already done with Yun, and is probably looking for me." "... what?" Nick frowned. "I made some lime jello, and he's not happy about it." Jacque wai!ed, "Wai! Were you going to immerse him in it?" "No .. it was for eating." "Oh. So why's he so mad then?" Jacque asked. Nick shrugged. "I think he just doesn't like lime jello. C'mon, let's get out of here." ----- "Ewww ... gross!" Ardweden made a face as she prodded the bloody mess with her lute. Quistis made wuffling noises at the remains. Ravi peered. "Looks like it's Yun. Or, rather, used to be Yun." "Yeah .. I think he's dead though." "We should probably clean this up," suggested Ravi. "Otherwise it'll start smelling." For her part, the small aardvark wuffled at what used to be Yun some more. Ardweden nodded emphatically. "I'll go get a bucket!" ----- "Um, Nick?" "Yes, Jacque?" "What's with the costume, anyway? And what are you supposed to be?" "... I'm Gourry. From Slayers." "Oh. That's one of your animes, right." "Right." The two lovers walked along the sidewalk outside Chez Impro, which seemed to be the only safe place at the time. "So are you going to be heading back to Boone now, or were you going to stay for a while?" Nick asked after a long period of silence. Jacque sighed. "These are your friends, Nick, not mine. I don't really know anyone here, and the ones that I do kinda know .. well, I don't know them because all they do is babble about stuff I have no clue about in the chatroom!" "I know what you mean," Nick replied, nodding. "So yes," Jacque continued, "I'm going to be heading back home now." Nick nodded. "Wait here, I'll pull my car around from the backyard." "No. Stay here, have fun with your friends." Nick sighed heavily. "I'd rather come home, and be with you. I've had enough fun at the party, and to be quite honest, I'm ready to come home." Looking down at himself, he added, "I just have to find Myth and Eslington first, so I can get changed back into my regular clothes." Jacque nodded. "I'll be waiting out here at my truck. ----- Ravi lugged the bucket full of Yun into the kitchen. "What the heck are we going to do with this now?" he asked. "I don't know .. maybe we should put him in the refrigerator?" Ardweden asked. Ravi shook his head. "No, someone might mistake him for food and try to eat him." Ardweden frowned. "What about the freezer part of the fridge?" "That'll work," replied Ravi. The two Improers opened the freezer and carefully set the bucket inside. "Wait .. why can't we just take Yun down to the cloning vat?" Ardweden asked. Ravi shrugged. "Well, we could, but last I knew Aaron Shattuck and Rain were in the basement doing unspeakable things. Do you really want to go there?" Ardweden shuddered and shook her head violently. "Right. This should keep him fresh until we can clone him or resurrect him." ----- "Myth! Can I use the wardrobe materia again?" The author cosplaying as a combination of Rinoa and Ukyou spun around to face Nick. "Why? I thought you liked the Gourry costume?" Nick shook his head. "It's not that .. it's more like, I'm leaving. Going home." "Oh .." Myth replied. "Yeah. I need to change back to my original clothes." Myth nodded and proffered the small magical ball to him. "WARDROBE! NICK MARQUARDT!" ----- "Awww, you're leaving?" "Yup," said Nick. "Well, it was nice meeting you." "Yeah! Glad you could join us!" "dont forget your playstation" "Bai bai!" "Ta!" Nick smiled and waved at all the sendoffs he got, and headed out the door. ----- "All right. I think I have everything now," Nick said as he slammed the lid down on his Escort. Jacque stared, amazed. "How did you fit so much in there? I don't think even my mom could fit that much in there." Nick shrugged. "Hatchbackspace." A look of confusion spread across Jacque's face, but she decided not to press it. "See you in Boone? Do you need to stop anywhere and get gas?" "Yeah. See you in Boone." He looked at the gas gauge. "Naw, I've still got three quarters of a tank left. That should be enough to get me all the way home." Jacque paused. "Let me guess, hatchbackspace again." Nick frowned. "No. Fuel efficiency." The two figures, the Impro author and his girlfriend, got in their respective vehicles and sped away from Chez Impro, ----- Author's notes: Heh. Ironic, really, that a chibiimpro part is my longest Impro part ever. Of course, I couldn't have done this without the help of several people .. First, Roe and Angelcat, for providing the Phoebe scene, and also making this part tie in with others a little more. Yun Chhölsu .. he wanted to die for lime jello in my part. I think he just thought it'd be silly. But at any length, he has requested to NOT be revived .. that will be taken care of in his Party part, when it comes along. Also, for the help with the Korean words and phrases. I appreciate it ^_^ Double Agent for writing his own intro scene. Jacque, for being my girlfriend. If you ever read this, I love you! Also Calculus, for prereading! And yes, I really did just write myself out of IP. It was a tough decision, but the way I see it the party's getting way to bloated. And since I introed Double Agent, might as well take someone out to keep the characterbloat under control .. best candidate for removal was myself.