"We are gathered here today, on this most special of days, to witness the joining of these two in the bonds of holy matrimony. The Bride, Ardweden, and the yummy-nummy bishounen Groom, Montae! Wai!!!!" Omi bounced a little at the front of the lawn. In front of her, Montae looked to Ardweden with sparkling eyes. Ravi, the best man, smiled slightly, but not so much as to break the bishounen code of mysteriousness. Delfina cried opposite of him quietly. Mechalink and ColdFury, the groomsmen, stood quietly behind Ravi. Mecha watched on silently, as ColdFury brooded behind them. "Waii! Anyway, matrimony is one of the most special bonds you can enter into... " ColdFury lost track of Omi No Miko's voice as he was lost to reflection. ***** "Ardweden's getting married?" ColdFury blinked. Delfina nodded happily. "Isn't it great? To Montae! He's all bishounen goodness just like you and the other guys!" ColdFury sweatdropped, "That's nice, but could you stop glomping me, I may be Bishounen now, but I am ColdFury still." Delfina blushed and let go, "Sorry, forgot. Anywho, EVERYONE is going to be there. Well almost everyone, no one's seen Chris or Epsilon, thank god!" ColdFury nodded, "I'll be there." Delfina wai'd. "Wai! I gotta go collect all the plushies." She scooped up a Twoflower plushie and pulled the cord on it's back. "I'm gonna lay the smack down on your candyasses once I get fixed!" The plushie sounded like a recording of Twoflower. "Isn't he so kawaii!?" Delfina hugged the plushie close to her chest, and ColdFury could swear he thought he saw it nosebleed slightly. "Bai!" Delfina hurried off, happy about her sister's impending wedding. Standing behind her, ColdFury flopped on the couch. He sat for a moment, thinking mysteriously. Samantha sat down next to him. He blinked for a moment, "No Glomp?" "Eh. You're still ColdFury." "Heh. Thanks Sam." "So you heard?" "Yup. Weird. She's been such a good friend to me. And now she's getting married. I've been doing a lot of marriages lately. Maybe I could hire myself out as an usher." Fury chuckled mirthlessly. "You don't seem to happy." Samantha looked at him curiously. "Seems... fast. I mean I know party is weird and all, but I wish... I'm just worried about her." "Talk to her." ColdFury brooded for a moment longer, a wind picking up his bishounen hair and ruffling it dramatically. "I think I will. Thanks Sam." He hugged her. "No problem." She pulled out a mallet and slammed ColdFury on the head quickly. "And that's for the glomp comment." Samantha then wandered off, as ColdFury struggled to regain upward mobility. ***** "Do you, Montae, take this woman, Ardweden, to be your lawfully wedded wife, through richer and poorer, through sickness and health, yada yada yada?" Montae smiled at Ard, who blushed a little. "I do." He glanced at Ravi, Mecha, and Fury grinning. The three men smiled, but Fury's seemed a little forced. ColdFury looked at Ardweden, and wondered where they had gotten her a wedding dress so fast. She looked pretty. He thought to himself of all the times he'd tried to lure her to the hentai side for the fun of it. She was such an innocent girl, in his eyes anyway. How could she be getting married so fast? "Hey... Hey Montae!" ColdFury jogged up real quick to the tuxedo wearing bishounen. "I heard about your engagement to Ard. Congrats!" He patted Montae on the back. "Hey thanks Fury! I thought you might be jealous and all..." Montae trailed off, and ColdFury flashed a reassuring grin. "Naw, Arwen and I are just good friends. I want the best for her. I was wondering if I could ask a favor..." "I won't go OOSHA during the honeymoon." ColdFury sweatdropped. "No, I was wondering, Ard and I have been friends for a long time, and it'd mean a lot to me if I could be at your guys' side when you made the big step. I know we don't know each other very well, but could I be a groomsman?" Montae blinked, "Well... I do only have Ravi, Cham and Mecha. She has Angel, Phoebe, Illyria, and Delfina. Sure. Thanks man, it'd be great to have you there. You have a tux though?" ColdFury smiled, and quickly changed his clothes to a tux using CostumeSpace. Montae sweatdropped, "Do you have one that's not bright pink?" Blinking, ColdFury nodded. "Er, sorry... yeah." He changed again. "... One that's not neon green either?" "... Oh. Okay. Black it is." Smiling, Montae grasped ColdFury on the shoulder. "Thanks. Meet me out there in 15 minutes." ***** "...do you, Ardweden, take this man..." ColdFury shifted on his feet, he'd have to act now. He quickly reached into his coat pocket. ***** Peeking out into the lawn, ColdFury saw the wedding guest gathering. Instead of the groom's family on one side and the Bride's on the other, one side was filled with Bishounen's and various giggling Improgirls, and the other was filled with very annoyed looking plushies. He picked up a Jonatan plushie, and pulled the string. "I can fix this! Really! All I have to do is get a vial out of my labcoat. I just can't move. ... Let me check my notes." ColdFury quickly put the plushie down and backed away slowly. He wandered around the lower level of the house, where the wedding party was getting ready. He ran into Phoebe, who was sitting on the couch in a low cut bridesmaid dress that tempted his nose into submission. He sat down next to her. "I'm escorting you out." Phoebe smiled, "Fuuuury-kun." She played with his hair, and he rolled his eyes. "I'm still just Fury, remember?" "*sigh* Oh yeah." Phoebe reluctantly put her hand down. She peered at him curiously. "You seem broody, even for a bishounen." ColdFury shrugged, "This wedding bugs me. It feels wrong, but I don't know why." "You always did have a soft spot for Ard-chan..." Phoebe spoke quietly, as if thinking something over. "Have you talked to her?" He snorted, "What am I going to say? Hi! I don't want you to be happy with Montae! I think this is all wrong for you. ... You want to know what would be right for you? I don't know!" ColdFury put on a big fake smile, as if he was trying to convince imaginary Ardweden to believe him. "Somehow, I doubt that'd go over well." "Well then there's only one thing you can do. You must simply stop the wedding. It was going to be boring anyhow." Phoebe grinned evilly. "You're the number one fan of Dan right? You could stop the wedding. Taunt the groom or something." ColdFury blinked, thinking it over in his head. "That'd be rather immature, wouldn't it?" Phoebe looked around, and leaned in really close. "I have a secret for you." Leaning in as well, Fury strained to hear her as she whispered. "Yes?" "I don't think Ard's happy with this wedding. She froze up and said yes. I bet she's just HOPING some knight in shining armor will come rescue her." Fury blinked, and thought. He closed his eyes, brooding thoughtfully. "Alright. I'll do it. I'll stop this wedding somehow." He heard the music start up, and they both stood. "Thanks Phoebe." She smiled and let herself giggle. "Anytime Fury-kun." ***** "...and in health, yada yada yada?" Ard smiled nervously at Montae, and then at Omi. There was a pregnant silence, and she nervously opened her mouth. "I--" ColdFury suddenly stepped out, and pulled a eyemask from his, Tuxedo Jacket pocket. When he put it on, his tuxedo turned bright pink. Temporarily blinding everyone. "I am TuxedoFury! Wedding is not something that should be rushed into! In the name of long engagements, TuxedoFury will NOT forgive you! OOOSHA!" He flexed and power bishounen taunted. Some of the girls watched him with hearts in their eyes, "OOOOh. TuxedoFury!!" He quickly threw a Dan Hibiki glossy at the pole covering the tarp. The autograph bounced off, but the pole gave way and fell. The tarp collapsed just as TuxedoFury grabbed Ardweden and made a break for the Ragnarok. She banged her fists on his back, "BAKA BAKA BAKA!!!" When he reached the Ragnarok, he instinctivly twisted and threw a pink rose that imbedded itself in the ground, right through the loop of the purusing Todd's shoelace. "... Nice shot." They quickly boarded the Ragnarok, and TuxedoFury set the ship for automatic pilot while he quickly tied Ardweden to the copilot chair. She rolled her eyes and remained quiet as he finished strapping her to the chair, then hopped into the pilot's seat. He put the controls on manual, and jammed the ship into overdrive. With a flash they were out of sight. Montae let out a solitary tear from his bishounen face, and it caught in the wind and carried for a bit. He turned and saw Angelcat standing right next to him. "He took her." Angelcat hugged him, "I know." Montae thought for a moment. "Angel, since I first met you..." Moments later the sound of a lute smashing over someone's head could be heard. ****** ImproParty #35: Antagonist Reborn By ColdFury Hosted by Improfanfic Created by the multinamed W4 ****** Calculus walked out of the bathroom cautiously, peering around carefully. He didn't see her. He let out a sigh of relief and took a step forward. There was a *THWOOSH* sound and before he knew it Illyria was attached to his arm again. "..." "Bishounen Calc! Wai! I can't wait for the wild honeymoon LUVLUV!" Illyria looked up at him with sparkling, "Wai! Bishounen!" eyes. Calc fought a sweatdrop. "... Honeymoon?" "Yeah, I was thinking we could go to Europe. Maybe somewhere in France, or in Germany. OOH! You speak Italian! Italy would be good, I loved it out there." Illyria bounced while on his arm. "I'm so happy being married to you." "Uh.. about that.." "I know you were a little jittery at first, but isn't it so great? We can spend every moment together! I'll even teach you how to [THRUST]!" Illyria thrusted her hips demonstratively. The Cham plushie nosebleeded across the room. "..." Calc looked at her, and he sighed. "That'll be fun." "Waai!" "Hey Illyria, Calc." Mechalink walked up with his Weight-of-Ardweden doll. "Weird wedding huh?" Illyria let go of Calc, and raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that Mecha..." She noticed that Calc was already gone, and a shape-of-Calc cloud was in his place, which slowly dissipated. "Were you okay with the wedding?" "Well to be honest, I thought it was rather odd. I know he's jealous of us and all," Mecha gestured to the Weight-of-Ardweden doll. "He's obviously got a thing for Ardweden." Illyria sweatdropped, "Obviously." "But she's married to me. Why the devil would he marry that weight-of- Ardweden doll?" Illyria facefaulted, as did a few of the nearby plushies. ***** Lady Chaos poked the John Evans plushie. "I wish everything was back to normal." She pulled the cord. "Ah, but what is normal?" "Non plushie." She pulled the cord again. "Oh." "Waaah! I want real John back!" Lady Chaos sniffled. Myth walked up, "What's wrong?" "I'm tired of half the guys being plushies. It's no fun." "But the other half our bishounens." Myth pulled Eslington into the room and curled up against his arm while still standing. "Soooo? We have to fix things." Eslington nodded, "She's right you know. Montae's proposed to 7 different women since he's gone bishounen." Myth sighed, "Alright alright. Now how do we fix everything?" A coyote howled, ending the 15 minutes of thoughtful silence. Myth jumped, "I know! Let's find Jonatan! I bet he's got something in his labcoat that can fix this!" Lady Chaos nodded, "I'll stay here with John." Myth and Eslington went off in search of Jonatan. Although Myth insisted they 'check' the closet for him for a good 20 minutes before they gave up and searched the house. ***** The Iron Chef stood in the kitchen. A group of ImproGirls were gathered around watching. The Iron Chef Bishounen just stood there, mysteriously brooding rather than cook. Rose petals blew through an open window, and he casually grabbed one and sniffed it. After examining it, he put a few in his pouch for later ingredients. He then watched his stove carefully. "A challenge is coming. I can feel it." He flipped a switch and the Chez Impro kitchen suddenly transformed into a mini-kitchen stadium. The door opened suddenly, and a bishounen sillouhette stood in the doorframe. "I have come to challenge you, Iron Chef!" There was a gasp, then a scream from the assembled Impro'ers: "BISHOUNEN AARON SHATTUCK!" "Yes. It is I! AARON SHATTUCK! The bishounenification process has brought a clarification to my mind that hasn't been seen in years. Of course you all run when I try to give you squirrel heads! They're NOT COOKED! Only be defeating the Iron Chef, will I be able to get you to all dine on my creations!" He posed dramatically, but mysteriously. Chairman Kaga rose up from the floor with smoke. "IT IS TIME! I have the secret ingredient for your challenge!" Phoebe glanced between the Bishounens curiously and tugged on Omi's shirtsleeve. "When did we get a fully functional kitchen stadium." The other girl shrugged. "Bishounen Shattuck is really cute." "For this strange place and arena, I have chosen a fitting secret ingredient! AOL SUBSCRIPTION DISKS!" He held up a few dozen different AOL floppy disks from the 90s. "BEGIN!" Chairman Kaga talked to the non existant camera. "Today's contest will be decided by an onsite panel. They are Improfanfic members, Montae, Phoebe, Omi no Miko, and Ravi." Omi waved in the direction of the imaginary camera. "Hi mom!" The other panel members sweatdropped. "CHIPPY! GET ME MORE SQUIRREL!" The panel paled noticeably. ***** Calculus, Myth, and Eslington stood in the sub basement, holding plushie Jonatan carefully. Calculus examined the plushie carefully. "You realize, by throwing him in the tanks, we may end up with a cloned plushie." Myth shrugged, "If we can clone Jonatan, clone Jonatan could probably fix everyone." Eslington nodded in agreement, causing Myth to glomp him ferociously. Calculus sweatdropped and peered around anxiously, hoping Illyria was still occupied. Eslington finally peeled Myth off of him, and they were ready to continue. Calc nodded, "Alright, putting Jonatan into the cloning tanks." Myth nodded, "Activating tanks." She pushed the big xerox button marked "COPY". Eslington watched the displays.. "We're scanning. Wai! We're cloning a human! Wai!!" The console started beeping randomly. "Uh oh." Calculus blinked. "Uh-oh?" Myth looked at the console too. "Uh-oh." Calc blinked again. "UH-OH?" The tank's out tube spat open and out shot a clone of Jonatan. He waved at them, before being landed on by another clone. Then another. Then another. Calculus stared at the dozen clones. "Uh-oh." Myth bapped Eslington on the arm. "Turn it off! Turn it off!" The clones began to fill the room. Eslington stared hopelessly at the display. "Something about the plushy magic is jamming the machine." He got kicked in the butt by a crowded Jonaton clone being pushed out. "RUUUN!" The three quickly vacated the sub-basement as fast as their legs could carry them. ***** Ardweden tapped her fingers against the side of the chair. "Are you going to untie me yet?" "Are you going to lute me?" "... no." "Promise?" "... no." ColdFury shook his head, "When you promise to sit and listen to me, I'll untie you and we'll talk." Ardweden sighed and shifted uncomfortably. Wedding dress and ropes were not a happy combination. "Fine. No lute. At least until you explain yourself. After that I make no promises. Deal?" He eyed her thoughtfully. "Sounds good." He put Ragnarok on auto-pilot again, and worked on her bonds, untying her. After she was freed, he sat back down and eyed her nervously. She crossed her arms and tilted her head at him. "So?" "So?" "Why did you just kidnap me out of my own wedding?" "Oh, that." "..." ColdFury looked at his feet, at the controls, at the ceiling. "It wasn't right Ard. Not now. Not with him." Ardweden blinked, "So now you dictate my life?" He sighed, "I was wrong to do it the way I did. But everything was happening so fast. Do you really love him Ard?" Ardweden blushed, and thought for a moment, "I was hesitating you know. When you stopped the wedding. I don't think I was going to say yes. I got caught up in his bishounen-ness, and the moment when he proposed." Chuckling, ColdFury leaned back and looked at Ard. "Why couldn't you have gotten caught up in his bishounen-ness?" Smiling at Fury, Ard asked, "Why? Were you going to propose too?" Fury turned beet red, "Well I..." "MY [BUM] IS ON THE FURY! THE FURY! THE FURY!!" Out of no where a half man half robot beast slammed it's rear end into ColdFury, knocking him out. Ardweden gasped, "Fury!!!" The creature looked at Ardweden. "WANNA SEE MY SCAR!?" It reached for it's crotch and pulled open a metal casing. Ardweden fainted. The creature laughed. "HEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. MY BUM IS ON THE RAGNAROK, THE RAGNAROK, THE RAGNAROK!!!" ***** Calc, Myth, and Eslington were busy barricading the door to the basement with as much heavy things as they could. Roe walked by. "What's going on guys?" "No time.." Calc ran by with a bookcase in tow. "..to explain.." Eslington shoved a desk in front of him rapidly. "HEEEELLLP!" Myth carried chairs from the dining room over to jam the door shut. Behind it there was a large rumbling noise. Roe listened to the door carefully, "Is that Jonatan in there?" The three busily kept barricading the door. The admin shrugged, one way to find out. He blink teleported into the basement. Then got promptly run over by a wave of fresh Jonatan clones pouring out of the sub-basement. "!!!!" was all Roe could say before he was covered in Jonatans. ***** Chairman Kaga gestured wildly to his pretend camera... "Panel! You have eaten all the food! What is your decision!?" Omi smiled, "Iron Chef Kenichi all the way! His AOL disks were soft and smooth going down! Aaron's squirrel guts made me a little sick." Phoebe nodded, "Agreed." Ravi shook his head, "I don't know how he did it, but the AOL Chocolate Ice Cream did it for me." Montae burped, "You've got mail! Er. Excuse me. I vote for the Iron Chef too. I'm just having a problem with the Squirrel head Disk souffle Aaron tried. Pardon me." Montae ran for the bathroom. Chairman Kaga smiled wildly, "Iron Chef From China has won!" With that he suddenly sunk into the floor from hence he came. Aaron threw off his chef's hat. "I KNEW that Gnome casserole was a bad idea. Right Chippy?" Pause. "Oh... right." The remaining three panel members paled and ran for the bathroom as well. Iron Chef Bishounen sweatdropped, then flipped the switch to turn the kitchen back to normal. "My position is secure. Wai." It was just then that the Jonatan clones burst through the basement door, carrying an unconcious Roe with them. They flooded the house, including the kitchen. Soon the entire first floor was brimming with Jonatans. Delfina blinked. "Oh my." Suddenly, the flooding stopped. The Jonatan's didn't go away, but there was no more being made. Calc's head popped out from the sea of Jonatan's. "Cloning tanks must've ran out of power." The hundreds of Jonatan's started to untangle themselves. Finally, plushie Jonatan got passed up to the first floor. Calc grabbed one of the clones and the plushie and pulled them out side. "Can you fix him?", he asked the clone. Jonatan^ looked at the plushie. "Sure!" He pulled a deplushifier out of his labcoat, and pulled the trigger. Soon enough the original Jonatan was back to normal. "Gaaah! First things first." He pulled out a trigger labeled "In case someone clones you numerously" and pulled it. One by one the Jonatan's blinked out of existance. Calc looked around, "How'd you do that?" "Sore wa..." "Nevermind. Look, can you deplushify/bishounenify everyone?" "That's a toughie." Jonatan dug through his coat for awhile. "Here we go." He pulled out a magic 8 ball labeled, "Shake to get rid of a bunch of mixed essence effects." He shook it. All over Chez Impro, people turned back to their normal selves. Some awoke to see Jonatans popping out of existance in front of them. Needless to say they were rather perturbed. Delfina wai'd, "Wai! You fixed them Jonatan!" She hugged Jonatan quickly. He nodded, "I think that's my cue to leave too." "Leave!? Why!?" "This place has gotten too *weird*. Even for me." Suddenly, a holographic version of the figure who captured ColdFury and Ardweden appeared over Chez Impro. "ATTENTION! I HAVE YOUR FRIENDS. WHO AM I? I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA! I AM... CYBER.. TOM... GREEN!" There was a collective gasp as the bulk of the party gathered on the lawn to watch the transmission. "Tom Green was left weakened by his recent operation! And Mecha Tom Green was never powerful enough to conquer you on his own! So they joined forces to become.. CYBER TOM GREEN!!!! We shall have our revenge for Twoflower running us over in his van!!" There was a collective sweatdrop as everyone tried to remember back to episode one. No not the Star Wars movie you boob. "In exchange for ColdFury and Ardweden we want...." ***** As Cyber Tom Green rambled on, Jonatan shook his head. "I'm out of here." He hopped onto the ImproDragon, and flew off into the sunset. Which was unfortunate, as it would've been shorter to go east. ****** In the sub-basement, a figure emerged from a small portal. He looked around as Jonatan clones vanished. He sweatdropped, then stared alarmedly at it. He stepped forth and his kilt was clearly visible. "What a strange place this THE FUTURE be...." ****** Author's Notes: I know. Two weeks. And it's short. What gives? Life gives ladies and gentlemen. And when it gives, it gives it GOOD. This may not be as good as my first Improparty part, but I think this is a good romp, at very least the opening bit should be humerous. It should be noted that Jonatan, and thus the ImproDragon, are gone and gone for good. He request I kill him off. But I didn't feel like doing any killing. Sorry Jon. Well, this marks the end of my two weeks from hell. Sorry this took so long. Between 3i, school, work, and attending my friend's wedding and related activites, not to mention moving him into his apartment, I didn't have much time. I didn't even play Diablo 2 since it came out. Wah. Special thanks to Illyria, who knows WAY too much about Iron Chef then anyone should, but that's why we love her. Also to Ard, Samantha, and hopefully Angelcat and Montae for being good sports. Now for the fun part: ColdFury 07/11/00 Dramatis Personae: Aaron Pinnick: Chez Impro Aaron Shattuck: Chez Impro - kitchen Angelcat: Chez Impro Anko: Chez Impro Ardweden: Ragnarok -- Abducted Twice BlackMage: Chez Impro Blade: Chez Impro Calculus: Chez Impro Cham: Chez Impro Chris: Chez Impro ColdFury: Ragnarok -- Prisoner of CyberTomGreen Coyote: Chez Impro Damien Roc: Chez Impro Dan: Chez Impro Delfina: Chez Impro Epsilon: Chez Impro - Subbasement, W2 minion Eslington: Chez Impro Eternal Lost Lurker: Chez Impro Falcon: Chez Impro Fatman: Chez Impro Greg: Chez Impro H: Chez Impro HottCoffee: Chez Impro Jake: Chez Impro Jeff: Chez Impro Jesse: Chez Impro Jonatan: GONE Kate Malloy: Chez Impro Katy: Chez Impro Kimberli: Chez Impro Illyria: Chez Impro Lady Chaos: Chez Impro Lawrence: Chez Impro Mark Poa: Chez Impro Mechalink: Chez Impro Montae: Chez Impro Myth: Chez Impro NeoVid: Chez Impro Nick: GONE nihility (Eric): Chez Impro Omi no Miko: Chez Impro Phoebe: Chez Impro Rain: Chez Impro Rags: Chez Impro Random: Chez Impro Ravi: Chez Impro Robin: Chez Impro Roe: Chez Impro Samantha: Chez Impro Scott Schimmel: Chez Impro Squall (John Evans): Chez Impro Stephica: GONE Steve Scougall: Chez Impro Tameran: Chez Impro Todd: Chez Impro Twoflower: Chez Impro VVerevvolf: Chez Impro Wang Tu Chung: Chez Impro W4: Dead still - back in iceberg grave Yun Cheolsu: Chez Impro - Freezer Zrith: Chez Impro Supporting Cast: Bimbos: Somewhere... Bishounen: Ragnarok - They are? @_@ oops Catguys: Somewhere... Chippy: Stomachs of Panel -- Dead Cyber Tom Green: Ragnarok WoofTwo: Subbasement, unconscious, bishouenized Cousin Pete: Moving away Dragon: GONE Evil Neighbors From Hell: Moving away Hardhead Fred: Moving away Iron Chef Chen Kenichi: Chez Impro Kitchen Jess: Iceberg - calmed down by now, watching W4's grave Keith Richards: Abu Dhabi Kieran McWatson: Sub-basement Kimberli's Mecha: Chez Impro - Iceberg Leonardo DiCaprio: Abu Dhabi Mysterious Man: Clone tanks Old Man: The Past Phineas McWatson: Dead - Past and Present Quistis: Chez Impro Ragnarok: North of Chez Impro Ura: Chez Impro - Iceberg Weight-of-Ardweden Doll: Chez Impro - w/ Mecha? Young Elvis: No longer dead - bartending