][ Calculus HAS JOINED THE PARTY AS A STAFF MEMBER (Designated Geek)

Name: Calculus   Sex: M   Physical Age: 15   True Age: 15
Also Goes By: Calc, Thatbastardwhodeletedmyaccount
Height: 5'4"   Weight: 130   Eyes: Hazel   Hair: Dark Brown

Primary Goal(s):
- To escape from dealing with users for a while.
- To spend as much money as possible on computer equipment.

Secondary Goal(s):
- To practice his Evil Genius Laughter without getting arrested again.

Strengths/Abilities:
- Incredible skills with computers.
- Can speak Pointy-Haired-Boss language and some legalese.
- Unlimited capacity for caffeine.
- Undergraduate knowledge of linguistics.
- Mild empathy.
- Good at hitting people with mallets.
- Basic cooking skills.

Weaknesses/Quirks:
- Arachnophobia (afraid of spiders, even more than Roe).
- Doesn't drink alcohol or use drugs, except for caffeine and sugar.
- Out of shape.
- Quite bad at creative writing (non-fiction is okay).
- Wears glasses, but only for mild astigmatism.
- Is allergic to all milk products and some pollens and molds.
- Can't drive (yet).

Likes:
- Computers
- Food
- Humor
- Mallets
- Anime (especially Slayers)
- Tofu

Dislikes:
- Users
- Financial institutions
- Alcohol
- Drugs (except for caffeine and sugar)
- Organized religion
- Sports and sports entertainment
- Jello (especially lime green)

Background:
Calculus primarily complains about how busy he is. He lives in northern
San Diego county, about 40 minutes (legal driving) from the party.  He's
addicted to IRC (Internet Relay Chat) and has a collection of every single
one of the Bastard Operator From Hell stories.

Fellow Authors, please ask me before you:
- Drop an anvil on me
- Cause anything hentai to occur to me

Fellow Authors, please do not:
- Get me drunk, stoned, or smoking
- Get me killed