][ JAKE WALLACE HAS JOINED THE PARTY AS A STAFF MEMBER 
   (DESIGNATED MAIMER)
Name: Jake Wallace  Sex: M (Yes, please.)  Physical Age: 17  True Age: 17
Also Goes By: JW, Evil Ted 
Height: 5'11"   Weight: 200   Eyes: Blue   Hair: Blonde

Primary Goal(s):
-Take over the world with the aid of an incompetent lab rat named for a
 color.
-Shake his groove thang.

Secondary Goal(s):
-Manage to skirt getting fired as a maintainer.
-Manage to rule over all creation by using the Evil Overlord rules.
-Do way too many things without getting burned out.
-Denounce the evils of truth and love.
-Extend his reach to the stars above.
-Hurt stuff.

Strengths/Abilities:
-Use of steel chairs as a deadly weapon.
-Although not a designated driver, my ride is the fastest.
-Extreme RPG fanboy (esp. Square), can beat FF7 in ~24 hours gametime.
-Ability to consume mass quantities of snack foods and non-alcoholic
 drinks.

Weaknesses/Quirks:
-Rock-like Ego.
-Foot-in-mouth Syndrome.
-Disregard for well-being of himself and others.

Likes:
-Rock Music
-Xenogears
-Women
-Final Fantasy
-Exile
-Women
-Classical Music
-Women

Dislikes:
-Country Music
-Bad Reviews of Impros
-People who ask for extensions on the day their part is due
-Defenstration

Background:
	Little is known of Jake Wallace.  He does have a particular affinity
for music of almost any genre played at extreme volume, with the
exceptions of country and rap.  He also plays piano fairly well. 
Although he is underage and is never specifically seen drinking, he
often seems incapacitated after several hours of partying for no
apparent reason.

Fellow Authors, please ask me before you:
-Kill Me.  (Hey, I'm willing to try anything once.  Twice if you're
 lucky.)
-Have me swallow an energy field larger than my head.
-Get me drunk.  (After all, if I am drinking, sore wa himitsu desu...)

Fellow Authors, please do not:
-Get me laid by anything outside of my species.
-Have me start smoking anything.
-Wreck my car.