][ NickM HAS JOINED THE PARTY AS A GUEST

Name: Nick Marquardt
Sex: "Yes, please!" (5)    Gender: Male
Physical Age: 21           True Age: 21
Also Goes By: NickM, that really tall guy over there
Height: 6'5"               Weight: 275 lbs
Eyes: blue/grey            Hair: long and blonde

Primary Goal(s):
- To get laid.
- To consume as much beer as possible without feeling it in the morning.
- To avoid any responsibilities at all costs.

Secondary Goal(s):
- To avoid dancing at all costs.
- To destroy any image of Barney the Purple Dinosaur he sees. Includes
  plushies.
- To immerse Calculus in a vat of lime green jello. It's all in good fun.

Strengths/Abilities:
- Very tall. "Here, I can reach that."
- Almost but not quite bishounen.
- Ability to absorb thermonuclear radiation in large quantities (read: not
  vulnerable to sunlight).
- Very good with any type of electronic equipment.
- Is rather massive, but doesn't really look it due to his height.
- High tolerance for alcohol due to high body mass.
- Able to eat large quantities of lots of food without gaining weight.
- Ability to fit behind the wheel of any automobile. Except some pickup
  trucks. Don't ask.

Weaknesses/Quirks:
- Very tall. "Ow! I just hit my head on that doorframe!"
- Somewhat of a weakling.
- Shy around members of the opposite sex.
- Mildly hentai.
- Sloppy eater; tends to wear his food.
- Terrible driver.
- Slacker Extreme.
- Likes to use references, and awards point values for guessing them
  correctly based on obscurity.

Likes:
- Beer.
- Jolt Cola.
- Women.
- Heavy metal music.
- Linux.
- Spicy food. :~9

Dislikes:
- Work. Specifically, telemarketing. But really, all forms of work.
- Country music.
- Microsoft.
- Zima. Alcoholic 7-up is just ... wrong.
- Sauerkraut. "I! HATE! SAUERKRAUT!" (10)
- Caffeine-Free Mountain Dew.

Background:

Nick comes from a long line of .. aw, fuggit. He's one of his kind, the
oddball in his family. His father, a hardworking network manager and his
mother, a well-disciplined receptionist tried to instill in him the goodness
inherent in a work ethic .. and failed. His sister's well adjusted and
getting a 4.0 GPA in college, though. He feels bitter about this fact.

When Nick heard about the Improfanfic Party, he packed his car (a tan 1987
Ford Escort) with several articles: Clothing to last a week or more, his
Playstation and all four of the games he has (Tomb Raider, SoulBlade, Metal
Gear Solid, and Gran Turismo), a very old Sony Trinitron TV, his Game Boy
and all six games he has (Tetris, Super RC Pro Am, Super Mario World 2,
Bart vs. The Juggernauts, Wario Blast, and Marble Madness), a personal CD
player with his collection of all Metallica CDs there are, a dented up (but
playable!) tuba, and a huge stash of Jolt Cola.

Heh, you might wonder about that. How did it all fit? I mean, that is a Ford
Escort, right? Well, you are forgetting about HatchbackSpace[tm], a special
subdimensional folding of reality which occurs inside small cars. This is
also part of the reason for their phenomenal fuel economy.

He thought about informing his workplace (a telemarketing company) that he
would not be coming in to work for a while, but decided against it, citing
the fact that he [HATED] that job. Instead, he just jumped in the car and
shouted, "SAYONARA, SUCKERS!!" as he headed off into the sunset from his
hometown of Boone, Iowa, blaring Metallica the whole way.

Fellow Authors, please ask me before you:
- Kill me off. Death sucks.
- Get me romantically involved with anyone. I do have a girlfriend back
  home. Note that getting laid does not necessarily imply becoming
  romantically involved. ;)
- Have me do anything overly hentai. Kinda goes along with the previous.
- Have me dance. I [HATE] dancing.
- Put me in a mosh pit. I might injure someone.
- Have me take/smoke/drink anything mind-altering (except beer)
- Actually /do/ have me immerse Calc in a vat of lime green jello.

Fellow Authors, please do not:
- Destroy my car. It's my only way home.
- Destroy the tuba. It doesn't belong to me.
- Have me eat sauerkraut. Or anything containing sauerkraut.
- Make me do anything yaoi. I don't swing that way.
- Have me drink Zima. Goes without saying. "And now, a tazte tezt ... *sip*
  ... Taztez like zhit." (15)
- Have me volunteer or agree in any way to help out with the party.