Lack of Common Sensei
Chapter 27: If Wishes were Letters...
by Jeremy Fogelman

        Shiro sat nervously in his chair in the principal's office,
eyeing the unbalanced principal.  The principal grinned widely and
started chuckling.  He grabbed the nearest coconut and downed the milk
in one quick motion.
        "Ah! That be hittin' the spot! Shiro, me brudda, you gotta be
having some coconut juice.  It be takin' your problems away! Have some!"
        The beaming principal rolled an unopened coconut off the desk,
careening into Shiro's lap.  "Dig in, brudda!"
        Shiro winced.  "No thank you, Kuno-sensei," he said, carefully
placing the coconut on the floor.  'Might as well get this over with',
he thought.  "So Kuno-sensei, what did you want to speak with me about?"
        Principal Kuno chortled and leaned back in his chair.  "I just
thought we be talkin' about your problems with wahines, eh?"
        Shiro shook his head vehemently.  "Sensei, it's not necessary.
I'm not having any problems with them at all.  And nothing could
distract me from my teaching duties.  You needn't worry about it."
        The principal suddenly turned serious and leaned towards Shiro.
"Smith-san, I don't want you be doing anything improper.  You may not be
seein' these wahines except for school business."
        Shiro gulped.  "Well, I suppose that's fair but-"
        Principal Kuno cleared his throat.  "Young Shiro, my brudda,
when you be takin' one of these wahines out to the Palm Tree Bar, you
need to be treatin' them right.  Make sure you be rememberin' that!"
        "Well, okay, Kuno-sensei, but where is-"
        "I don't think you be listenin' to me.  You don't be drinkin'
enough coconut juice! Drink some more!"
        "No thank you, sensei.  Is that all you-"
        "Shiro-kun."  The sunburned principal put on a thoughtful
expression and said, "the only thing need to be havin' a good date is
some coconut juice."
        "Uh, good idea, sensei."
        "But don't you be datin' while you still be teachin'!"
        Shiro stammered, "but sensei, you just said-"
        The principal grinned and lobbed another coconut at the young
man.  "Have a fig, brudda!"
        Shiro ducked and looked warily at the principal.  "Kuno-sensei,
that's just another coconut."
        Principal Kuno began laughing uproariously.  "HA HA HA! You be
one funny brudda! I should be makin' you the official school comedian!
Tell me another hilarious joke!"
        Shiro looked uncertainly at the principal.  "Um, I'm not really
that much of a jokester.  Except maybe when I'm with my cousin."
        The principal guffawed loudly.  "You just don't be stoppin', do
you? Zing me again!"
        Shiro grinned and shrugged his shoulders.  "Ok, sensei, why did
the chicken cross the road?"
        Principal Kuno's face instantly fell into a frown.  "That's not
being very funny, brudda.  I no be likin' them chickens.  That just be
in bad taste."
        Shiro scrambled to recover.  "Uh, no, you see sensei, I just
don't think you can fully appreciate the joke without hearing the punch-
line.  It's a very popular riddle in America."
        The principal perked up.  "Popular in America? Ah, now I be
gettin' it! Ha ha ha!" He burst into laughter and pounded the table.
"Have some juiced coconut and fig berries!" The crazy principal grabbed
two open coconuts and drained the contents of one while thrusting the
other at Shiro.
        Shiro took a tentative sniff and recoiled at the bitter smell.
"Kuno-sensei, this coconut milk is fermented.  How much of this have
been drinking?"
        principal Kuno chuckled and then started giggling madly.  "All I
be knowin' is that I be drinkin' fifty of those coconut juice a day and
the whole world be looking better."
        Shiro sweated and fidgeted in his chair.  "Uh, Kuno-sensei, may
I leave now? Unless you have anything else?"
        The principal slapped himself on the forehead.  "I almost be
forgettin'! Sorry, my brudda, but I be late for a meeting with my
supplier.  We be continuin' this meeting later.  Aloha!"  With a great
leap, Principal Kuno jumped through a few fronds and out a previously
hidden window.
        "Yee ha!"
        Shiro gasped and raced to the open window.  He groaned and
looked down, fully expecting to see the drunken administrator splattered
over the pavement.
        To equal amounts of relief and disappointment, Shiro watched the
principal gleefully swim across the pool, all the while calling out to
nearby students to cut their hair.
        Shiro shook his head ruefully and turned to leave.  "I wonder
what he means by his supplier, anyway? Probably more Hawaiian decor, I
guess."
        A voice piped up, "I know what he's getting!"
        Shiro turned to see chibi-Hinako beaming beatifically at him.
"It has to do with candy," she squealed.  "And chocolate and coconuts
_and_ the principal! He promised lots of candy and lots of disobedient
students to discipline! Oh, and maybe Tendo-sensei will be there! Oh, it
will be marvelous!"
        "But what exactly does he have planned? I'd have to assume
something to do with Hawaii, what else?"
        "Who knows? He wasn't making that much sense.  But he mentioned
candy! Candy! Do you have any candy?" Hinako looked expectantly at
Shiro.
        "Uh, sorry, Miss Hinako.  I don't."
        Hinako slumped down for a moment before smiling again.  "I'm
sure one of the students sent here will have some.  And if they've been
sent here, then they must have been misbehaving! I can hardly wait!"
        Shiro blinked and shook his head to clear it.  "Well, okay.
I've got work to do, Miss Hinako.  Tell Kuno-sensei I'll talk to him
later."
        "Okay."  Hinako leaned and sighed, a grin evident on her face.
        Shiro shook his head again and walked out of the office.

        Sakura hummed to herself as she cleaned up after her home ec
class. "Well, today was fun.  In a little while, I'll go speak to Shiro
and maybe Kira too.  I hope they're having fun in their classes too.
Hello, what's this?" Sakura bent down to pick a folded piece of pink
lined paper.  "Now what could this be? 'For Shiro'?! Hey, who wrote
this?"
        Sakura's thoughts raced to solve the mystery.  "Maybe a student
who felt embarassed asking for help in Shiro's class.  No, it couldn't
be, they wouldn't use pink paper, plus they'd address him as Shiro-
sensei.  Kira, perhaps? She could've needed to ask him something
privately.  No, of course not, she'd write in English, not Japanese.
Mariko? Well, it could be.  No, she's not they type.  Besides, she
doesn't really seem to like him that way, no matter what the rumors say.
But who else?"
        The young teacher gasped as she realized the only possibility
left.  "It must be that Kanzaki girl! Oh, I couldn't read it, that
wouldn't be proper.  But how could I not? What would Kira say?" Sakura
thought for a moment...
        A tiny Kira appeared over Sakura's shoulder.
        "Read it, Sakura! What, you want Tonomi to win Shiro over with
her mystery letter? I don't think so! Besides, it's what's best for
Shiro and you."
        Sakura held her hands over her ears.  "Okay, okay.  Just stop
yelling.  I'll read the dang thing.  Let's see here."  Sakura carefully
unfolded the letter.  "Hmm, blah blah, lovey dovey, two of kind, etc.
Wait a minute, she's going to Sabiishi University? But why would she -
hey! She wants to live with him?! How dare she?! She's just a student!
Well, that settles it, Shiro cannot read this letter.  But that doesn't
mean I want to just throw it away, the writing's really good.  Very
emotional and heartfelt.  I could use this later."  Sakura refolded the
letter and stuck it into her folder, which she placed back on her desk.
        "I think I'll go find Kira, she'd probably have an idea of how
to use the letter to our best advantage.  This can't be good." The young
genius raced out of the classroom with anticipation.

Dear Shiro,
	Hello Shiro-kun.  I know that in the past you've only
considered me just another      student.  And perhaps I can
understand I know what a moral person you are, and I deeply
respect you for it.  I've known a lot of people as I've gone
through high school, male and female.  None of these girls
understood the world like I did.  Not as mature, you 
could say.  And the boys? Exactly that, boys.  We are two of
a kind, though I can't expect you to see that now, focused as
you are on your work.

	I have recently been accepted to a very prestigious
college, Sabiishi University.   There I will pursue a degree in dance
and music and hopefully other fields as well.  The      university has
an excellent graduate program that I just know you could easily get
into.   After you finish teaching at Furinkan, wouldn't it be wonderful
to be part of such a    stimulating and challenging environment? And if
you think about it, the university is so        close by, you probably
wouldn't have to move.  But housing can be so expensive, especially
on just a substitute teacher's salary.  Why don't we share an apartment
and the cost? Of        course, there wouldn't be anything beyond that,
but just a way that you can see as more         than just another
student.  Please think about it Shiro-kun, and we will talk soon.

                                                                Love,

Tonomi

        Tonomi leaned back as her thoughts sped once again to her
letter.  "Soon enough, Shiro will actually be ready to receive it.  Even
if I have to wait until after I graduate, it will be worth it.  First
I'll have to bring up the university in casual conversation.  I'll just
mention that I'm thinking about attending Sabiishi University and its
proximity.  Maybe bring up the graduate program there.  I can just
imagine what he'd say..."

        Shiro grinned at Tonomi.  "Why, Tonomi, you know, that's a
spectacular idea.  I'd love to attend a school like Sabiishi University.
And you might be attending? Maybe if you and I both end up going there,
we might see each other on campus."

        Tonomi squealed in anticipation.  "Ooh, I can hardly wait! I
better look at my letter again to check for mistakes.  I can always
write up a more polished copy later."  Tonomi began ruffling through her
bag.  "Oh no! Where is it? I couldn't have lost it! How could I come up
with the same soulful text again? It must be somewhere in here.  Don't
panic, Tonomi, you'll find it."
        Tonomi got up and started searching the room.  "I can't believe
I lost it!"
        "Lost what?"
        Tonomi whirled in surprise to see Mariko smiling at her.  "Can I
help you find it?"
        "Oh no, I can find it myself."
        "No, please, let me help!"
        "Um, well, Kawai-sensei, I suppose so."  Tonomi's thoughts
raced.  'Kawai-sensei is my chief competitor! I can't let her see my
letter.  But she wouldn't read it, she's way too naive.  I'll just use
her to help me find it.'
        "So, young lady, can I help or not? I have some time now."
        "Yes, Kawai-sensei, you certainly can.  I lost a letter from my
dying grandmother."
        Mariko gasped and held up her hand.  "Oh dear! That's horrible!"
        Tonomi nodded grimly.  "Yes, sensei, it is.  It's a small folded
letter on pink lined paper.  It probably has some random scribbling on
it, that's the only way she can sign her name anymore.  So you don't
need to bother looking at the characters."
        "Oh my, no! Well, the two of us will certainly be able to find
the precious letter, don't you worry! Pink, you said? I'll check this
side of the room, you check that side.  Okay?"
        Tonomi bowed deferentially.  "Of course, sensei."  'I better
keep an eye on her at all times.  She might not be as naive as people
say.  It'll make the search longer, but it's necessary.'  Tonomi grinned
at Mariko and started searching.

        Kira's eyes narrowed.  She hadn't been able to follow the entire
conversation, but it was obvious that Tonomi was lying to Mariko.  What
could this mystery letter be about? Tonomi clearly planned to give the
Shiro at some point, though Kira could not figure out when exactly.  It
hardly mattered, Sakura had to hear of this! 'As long as Mariko's in
there, Tonomi isn't going to say anything else.  I shouldn't miss out on
anything important.'
        Kira slowly crept away from the room, running as soon she was
out of earshot.  As she neared the water fountain, she skidded to halt.
"I'll need liquid to keep going strong!" She gulped down a healthy
amount of the refreshing liquid before bolting to the home ec room
again.
        As she neared the room, Kira slowed down and looked around.
'Coast is clear.  Excellent.'  The young girl peeked into the room, but
no one was there.  Kira shrugged her shoulders.  "Oh well, I'll just
wait for her in there."  As Kira slammed the door, the breeze swept
Sakura's folder onto the floor, spreading papers everywhere.
        "Oh no! I better clean this before Sakura gets back."  Kira
began carefully gathering together the strewn papers, when a brightly
colored letter caught her eye.  "Pink? What could this be?" Kira reached
over and grinned when she saw the inscription.  "Why Sakura, I didn't
think you had it in you?" Kira quickly and strained to understand its
contents.  She shook her head but kept trying.  When she read the last
line her eyes widened in shock.  "Tonomi? That's not good! I gotta get
rid of this."
        "Get rid of what?"
        Kira cringed as she recognized her cousin's voice.  "Uh,
nothing, just cleaning up Sakura's stuff.  Let me finish it myself."
While she was talking, Kira surreptitiously stuffed the nearest piece of
paper in her pocket.  She quickly finished cleaning up.  "Ok, now I'm
done.  I gotta go talk to Sakura, talk to you later!"
        Kira raced out of the room.  Shiro shook his head for the
umpteenth time that day.
        "This day just can't be normal, can it?"
        As he started to leave, his eye caught a pink piece of paper
next to the trash.
        "Hey, what's this?"

Author's Notes: Forgive the shortness.  But I hope quality has been
substituted for quantity.
This has been a rewrite.  I hope it's far better than it was.

-Jeremy F