I haven't dreamed my own dreams in a long time.

Sometimes I miss that, the mismatched refuse of my day thrown together and presented to me nightly.
I often gained new insights to myself while I slept, and sometimes I wish I could have that 
again. But what I have in return... Now, when I sleep, I am embraced by the world around me. I can
feel the slow wonder of sap rising and leaves budding, the pleasant warmth of winter hibernation 
and the constant, steady breathing of the earth. I am never alone. Dreams are a small price to pay 
for that.

Yes, I know you wouldn't pay it. It's become obvious that you and I are very different people.

- = -

Wings of Fate
Chapter 3:  Never To Be Told
by Phoebe
created by John Evans and Ardweden

- = -

It was a beautiful morning. The sky was that peculiar translucent blue which only appears in autumn 
and the slight breeze tangled fragments of dead leaves through my hair. Akari was silent, unusually 
so.

"Shuukou..." she said eventually, her voice trailing away uncertainly.

I raised an eyebrow at her in inquiry.

"Why didn't you stay with me?" she blurted out. Akari was never really very subtle. "I mean, are 
you and Kenchi... I mean, he hasn't..." She blushed and turned her eyes away, twisting her fingers 
together in embarrassment.

I wondered about the source of her concern. I knew she had had feelings for Kenchi once; was she 
more worried about me or jealous? Possibly both? I decided to test it.

"Kenchi has never used his powers on me," I replied.
 
Immediate relief washed over her face. Ah. Worry on my behalf then. An unbidden smile creased my 
mouth. It was very hard to dislike Akari. I watched her face change again, watched her supress 
the question I knew she was longing to ask and smiled again. I'd let her wonder. Really, it wasn't
any of her business.

And it isn't any of yours, either. But since you insist... No, Kenchi and I have never slept 
together. Our relationship is rather more complex than that, particularly since we both dislike
each other intensely. Yet he is one of the few people I consider myself close to. 

A friendly enemy? Perhaps. If I may continue?

We wandered through the vast Takanobaba shopping complex, visiting the smaller, ground-level 
stores. Akari provided most of the conversation, talking about people I didn't know and wouldn't 
care about if I had, asking my opinion of various trinkets, flashing her credit card about. She 
didn't suggest we go into any of those monstrous multi-level department stores,
probably because she knew I'd rather cut off my hand than be surrounded and crowded by that
many people. As it was, the Christmas shopping crowds were setting my teeth on edge. 

I nearly reached the breaking point when two women both bumped into me at the same time, momentarily 
crushing me between them. They both wore heavy perfumes and I felt as though the harsh chemicals 
were sinking into my skin. I very nearly screamed. Vomited. Attacked them. It was all I could do to
keep a smooth face as they murmured apologies and continued on their way. 

I spun, frantically searching, and spotted what I was looking for. A tree. A feeble thing on the 
edge of the pavement, surrounded by a wire boundary designed to stop it from being crushed by 
pedestrians, but it was enough for my purposes. I hadn't had one of these attacks for a long time, 
but when they came, the only thing that would stop me losing my control was immediate contact. I 
struggled across the pavement towards it, ignoring the indignant mutters of those I pushed aside. 
They'd do more than mutter if I didn't get there soon... There!

I stretched over the boundary and placed one hand on the trunk. At first, I registered only relief 
as I breathed deep, regained control. Then the tree *called*, its voice clear in my mind, too 
clear! It wasn't just one tree, but many, all the trees we'd passed that day, united in one voice
to pass on one urgent message.

FOLLOWS! DANGER!

I gasped in shock and pulled back from the trunk, but the trees were still with me, still in my 
head.

BEHIND! DANGER!

Something shrieked. At first I thought it was myself but as I staggered back I saw the crows 
descending. Seven of them, beaks open, claws extending, plummeting downwards. Then I saw what they 
were aiming for and gasped again.

"AKARI!" I screamed, "Get DOWN!"

She obeyed instantly, diving to the cobblestoned pavement. And the small black monstrosity missed her 
head. The crows were on it at once, pecking, tearing. Dying. One exploded in a burst of feathers 
and blood, then two. I was running by that stage, hauling Akari to her feet.

"Kill it!" I shouted into her face. She stared back, white-faced and trembling. I shook her. "Use 
your powers! Akari, kill it!" She suddenly burst into tears, able only to shake her head. A panic
attack. Perfect.

I let her go and used some of Judou's viler curses, noting with horror that the fourth crow was 
dead. As far as I knew, only Akari could kill these things... But then, I hadn't tried yet! I 
knelt, both hands on one of the cracks between the stones and pushed. Hard.

GROW! I sent, stronger and more desperate than anything I'd ever managed before. HOLD! TEAR!

And the weeds grew, spilling out of the cracks between the stones, reaching their best possible 
growth and then beyond as I bound myself to them, lent them my more animal strength. It took mere 
seconds, less than that - but the sixth crow was dead.

HOLD! I sent, everything I had in that final, despairing cry. If only I could hold it long enough 
for Akari to recover, it might be enough... The weeds darted towards the thing on the pavement, 
strong as arrow shafts and just as true and I felt a momentary hope.

The seventh crow died.

I stood, staggered, tried to pull Akari to her feet. Maybe we could outrun it... It screamed at 
us, piercingly, horribly. And disappeared.

I stared at the place it had been, unable to deal with this new development. It was winning, why 
had it run? I asked the trees, still present in my mind, but they had no reply for me, just 
revulsion and horror. Whatever that thing had been, it disgusted and terrified them, and I shared 
their reaction. I finally broke the contact, and hugged Akari instead, trying to stop her 
trembling.

It was only then that I noticed the people. The screaming, running people. The people that had 
seen me use my powers. I reached into the wider ranges of Judou's vocabularly again and helped 
Akari up. She was calmer now, but still shaking. "Let's go," I muttered, and she nodded urgently.

Luckily, the coffee shop wasn't far away. I'm fairly strong by anyone's standards, but Akari isn't 
exactly feather-weight and she could barely stand, let alone walk without support. I wasn't really
dragging her, but the journey wasn't terribly pleasant for either of us. We waited outside for about 
ten minutes. Akari was hugging herself and didn't say a word. That disturbed me, but it really 
isn't in me to initiate conversation, so I just waited, sneaking looks at my watch every now and 
then.

Finally I saw the guys in the distance. The relief was so great I could have hugged all of them.
Well, perhaps not Soshi.

"What's wrong?" Kenchi asked, looking from Akari to me and back again.

I sighed and put my arm around Akari's shoulders, feeling her lean into me gratefully. "First, 
let's get some tea," I said. I knew hot drinks were good for shocks. "Then, we'll talk."

They didn't ask any questions until after we'd ordered. (Herbal tea for Akari, cappucino for 
Kenchi, green tea for Judou, brown tea, milk, no sugar for me and nothing for Soshi.) They just 
sat there watching us until our drinks had been brought and the waitress left us alone.

Then Soshi got down to business. He closed his eyes for a moment and the air around our table 
shimmered briefly. "You can talk freely now," he said, staring at us intently. "What was it,
another attack?"

"How did you know?" Akari gasped, her eyes huge.

"You're shaking. You're both pale. What happened?"

I felt Akari grab my hand under the table and groaned silently. She was in no condition to tell
the story, and she probably hadn't grasped as clear a picture as I had anyway. So, it was up to 
me. I gritted my teeth and explained, trying to reconstruct the situation as clearly as possible 
in as few words as possible.

There were interruptions, of course.

"Why were you touching the tree in the first place?" Kenchi asked. I ignored that. It wasn't
necessary to tell them about my difficulties.

"All the trees you'd passed that day," Soshi mused. "It had been following you then?"

I blinked. I hadn't actually worked that one out. "It must have been, of course," I said, trying 
to make it sound patronising. I had no indication if the attempt had worked, of course. Soshi 
merely nodded and gestured for me to continue.

"Crows?" Judou asked, blinking. He tugged on his nose, but didn't say anything else.

I glossed over the thing's attack on Akari as quickly as possible, but even so she gripped my 
hand tightly. Soshi gave Akari one of his infamous looks when I (reluctantly) mentioned her
panic attack, then gave me another when I told him of what I'd done.

"... and then we came here," I concluded, and waited.

There was silence for quite some time.

"You used your powers in front of a large crowd of Christmas shoppers," Soshi said finally.

I nodded. "It was necessary," I said firmly.

He lifted one eyebrow. "Perhaps. It was also regrettable. Foolish."

I clenched Akari's hand. Hard.

"We need to find out who or what sent this," he continued, turning away from Akari and I and 
addressing the other two. "We need to find out soon. Shuukou should talk to her tree friends 
and-"

"I'm not stupid," I interrupted. "I asked the trees if they knew anything."

Soshi turned to face me. "And?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

For a moment I considered letting him stew for a bit. I didn't like talking to Soshi much 
anyway, and I definitely didn't like the way he was directing this interrogation of me. One 
glance at Akari convinced me otherwise. This was serious. And then there had been that terrible 
vision of Judou's, my forest swallowed in burning red blood... So I answered. "They don't know 
anything."

He waited, obviously knowing there was more to it than that.
 
"Whatever it was, they didn't like it at all. Neither did I."

"Why not?" Soshi asked softly.

I stiffened. I hadn't meant to let that slip and I didn't like to show any weakness in front 
of Soshi, but remembering how the trees had shown that *thing* to me was not a pleasant experience.

"It was... unclean. Unnatural." I groped for words, then shrugged, unwilling to dwell on the 
experience any longer. "I can't really put it in any words you'd understand," I went on, hoping 
that my volubility would convince him. "It was just wrong. It didn't belong there at all."

"I see," Soshi said calmly, his eyes narrowing.

My eyes narrowed too. "You don't see, Soshi. You can't." Akari squeezed my hand and I took a 
deep breath. Apparently I didn't have as much control of myself as I'd thought. "The trees cannot 
help us. Asking them again would be futile." It would also be uncomfortable for me personally, but 
I wasn't going to mention that.

Soshi nodded. "Then we'll have to turn to other ways to find our attacker," he concluded. "Judou?"

Judou blinked. He'd been silent for so long I think he'd almost forgotten we knew he was there. 
Oddly, that was the part I usually played.

"Yes?" he asked uncertainly.

"Do you have any conscious control of your visions yet?"

Judou avoided his eyes. "I got my power *yesterday*, Soshi. Give me a break." He pulled at his nose, 
and I blinked. Yesterday? Somehow I'd thought he'd said he'd been having visions for a while...
Well, I hadn't really been paying attention to him when he'd started telling me his wild story. I'd 
been more annoyed they'd all intruded into my forest. Now, however, I *was* curious. Was he hiding 
something from Soshi? Why?

"We have no time for breaks," Soshi said flatly. "Something or someone is hunting us, and we need 
to know who. You should all know that. To do anything substantial we need a name."

Kenchi grinned. "You might need a name," he joked. "But I tend to forget by the next morning..."

Soshi ignored that too, his eyes trained on Judou. Akari stiffened though, and shot Kenchi a glare 
sadly unseen by its target. I stifled a smile. For a girl as boy-crazy as Akari was, she was oddly 
prudish sometimes.

Judou twisted uncomfortably. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to control it, Soshi," he said 
finally. "Vision seems to be a little different to all of your powers. It came to me late, and 
it came to me unbidden. I'm not sure if I'll be able to direct it in any way, or even have it 
come to me when I wish. From what I've read about this kind of thing..." he trailed off.

Soshi nodded. "By yourself, perhaps you cannot control it. I have some theories. We will test 
them."

Judou rubbed his nose thoughtfully. "Now?" he suggested.

"Of course," Soshi replied. He rose to his feet, and Judou stood with him. I noticed that they both 
wore near identical expressions of anticipation. It often happened, this momentary similarity 
between them, though neither would be pleased if you pointed it out. I suddenly felt a foot tap 
against mine and nearly knocked Kenchi's teeth down his throat - it was no time for his sick games! -
but when he looked up at Soshi and coughed pointedly it became clear that 'romance' was the last
thing on his mind.

Soshi glanced at him. "Yes?"

"No plans for us?" Kenchi asked smoothly, ignoring Soshi's sudden frown. "Surely you must know 
what we three should do." He made a sweeping gesture embracing Akari, himself and me and kicked me 
again.

"Yes," I jumped in, kicking him back. From the wince he unsuccessfully covered up, I must have 
caught his ankle. Good. He *knew* I didn't like talking to Soshi. He was going to pay for this 
later. "Why are you suddenly our glorious leader, Soshi? You've been ordering us around and we've 
let you get away with it - so far. Why should we continue?" I stopped and glanced pointedly at 
Kenchi. Let him do his own dirty work.

"Do you know something we don't, Soshi?" Kenchi asked quickly, still smiling. "If so, don't you 
think you should share?"

"We're all in this together, Soshi," Akari said quietly and I barely stopped myself from staring 
at her openmouthed. Akari didn't take sides.

A small smile flickered across Soshi's face. "I do know something you don't," he admitted calmly.

Kenchi looked startled for a very brief moment, then stood up. "And what's that?" he asked tensely.

Soshi smiled again. "I know a lot more about magic than you do. And I intend to use that knowledge
to keep all of us safe. Judou and I will hopefully discover who or what is attacking us, and then
we can all work out what to do to protect ourselves. Is that not sensible?"

I scowled. It was, when he put it like that, but I still didn't like his attitude.

"We are all in this together," he continued, nodding at Akari. "I am not concealing anything I 
think you should know. As for what you should do - I don't care. I'm sure you're all adult enough to
come up with ways to amuse yourself for a day or so without my input." His eyes rested on me.
"Ways that won't endanger yourselves or the rest of us," he added, then swept out of the cafe. 
Judou gave us a single apologetic glance, then hurried after him.

Kenchi sat down, exhaling slowly. "That was unpleasant," he murmured. I grabbed the potplant on 
the table with my freed hand and buried my face in it in an attempt to calm down.

"Soshi is right, I think," Akari said thoughtfully, finally releasing my hand. "He does know more
about-" She jumped and stared at Kenchi. "Did you just *kick* me?" she demanded.

"No Soshi, no barrier, Akari," I said quietly, still breathing in the scent of violets. She 
went bright red and stared down at her hands.

"Oh. Sorry." She forced herself to look directly into Kenchi's eyes. "I'm sorry, Kenchi."

To his credit, Kenchi merely smiled urbanely. "No harm done." He played with a business card for 
a minute, staring into space for a moment. "If you two think you'll be all right by yourselves, I 
think I'll go catch up with an old friend," he said finally, rising to his feet. 

"We'll be fine," Akari said firmly.

Kenchi nodded. "Why don't you continue with your shopping? No need to let this unfortunate incident 
spoil your fun. I'll pay the bill." He paused, as if expecting resistance, then smiled. "No 
objections, ladies? In these enlightened days?"

"If you want to spend your money, I won't object," I said bluntly, getting up and stretching. 
"Come on, Akari. There's a new plant superstore that I've been meaning to check out. Some interesting 
new natural fertilisers."

We left Kenchi standing there like an abandoned child and went back out into the heart of the 
city. I had to steel myself before stepping out of the coffee shop doors, and Akari gave me a 
sympathetic smile that tried to be understanding. She couldn't understand, and neither could 
Soshi, despite all his esoteric knowledge. 

Cities revolted me. I had to get back to my forest, and soon. I remembered Judou's vision again, 
and very nearly left for my forest right away but although I have been described as unsocial and 
unmannerly, I did not consider myself rude. It would be plain boorish to leave Akari there after 
the shock she'd experienced today.

Am I unmannerly? Perhaps by your standards. Myself, I prefer to think of it as self-sufficient.
I have no need for the love of others, so no need to pander to them.

We didn't talk much as we shopped, at least not about anything that mattered. Akari talked about
her work at the hospice, and I nodded when it seemed appropriate. Old, sick humans weren't really
my thing. It was Akari's turn to nod in non-comprehension once we reached the plant store, as I
became effusive over the wonderful new nitrogen-enriched fertilizers.

"Oh, new nitrogen-enriched fertilizers," I remarked. "That's nice."

Akari nodded.

Well, effusive by my standards anyway.

The shopping seemed to have had its intended effect. We were both more relaxed, no longer looking
over our shoulders every few minutes, almost able to forget the 'unfortunate incident' that 
morning. I had just about decided that nothing more could possibly happen today when Akari tugged
at my arm.

"There's Kenchi!" She pointed at a small table in front of a cafe just ahead of us where Kenchi
sat facing us, his companion in the seat opposite. She frowned. "That must be the old friend," 
she observed.

Kenchi noticed us as we walked towards him and stood up, saying something to his friend. The other 
man nodded and rose to his feet. Then he turned to face us, and I swear my heart stopped dead for
a second. In fact, it seemed that the whole world was frozen for a brief, eternal moment as I 
stared into the eyes of a man I hadn't seen in three years. No. Not him!

"Shuukou? What's wrong?" Akari whispered, and time started again with a distinct thudding in the
centre of my gut. I knew I was making a spectacle of myself, but I couldn't move, couldn't take
my eyes off him.

"Hello, Shuukou," he said, his voice carefully neutral.

"Hello, Phillippe," I forced out, my throat painfully dry. Oh gods, I could still feel his touch...
I shook my head, an infinestimal movement, and accepted it at last. He was here. He was here with
Kenchi. 

I felt myself smiling bitterly as I finally took my eyes away from Phillippe and glanced
at Kenchi, who was obviously confused. His Empathy would have told him my feelings, I had been
too shocked to even think of concealing them. But I have no idea what he could have made of the
emotions churning within me, emotions of shock, betrayal, anger, sorrow - and perhaps the slightest
hint of something I would try to conceal even from myself. 

With Kenchi. Perhaps Phillippe would finally achieve what he'd *really* been after three years ago.
I couldn't decide whether I wanted that or not. More wanted than not, I decided. Kenchi was not 
known for treating others gently. Let Phillippe knew what it was like to be hurt!

Akari's hand was still on my arm, and I felt a sudden burst of warmth from her. She might not have
Kenchi's Empathy, but she could tell something was wrong, and typically, she was trying to help in
the only way she could.

Phillippe's eyes flickered uncomfortably from Kenchi to me and back again. "Perhaps I should leave,"
he said. "I'll call you later, Kenchi?"

Kenchi nodded. "Of course," he said, eyes still on me.

Phillippe bowed to Akari and I then left, his expression disatisfied. Whatever he'd been after 
hadn't happened, anyway. That was encouraging.

"Shuukou-" Akari began, but I cut her off with a gesture.

"I want to go home," I said flatly.

"Of course," Kenchi agreed smoothly, picking up his coat and dusting a few leaves off it. "I was 
just thinking it was time to head back myself."

Where he could get me alone and try and get some answers out of me. Nice try. "I mean home home,"
I said. "I'm going back to the forest. There's a bus that leaves tonight." There wasn't, but 
drivers were always happy to pick up solo women hitchhikers. I could deal with any problems that 
resulted. "Thank you for your hospitality, Kenchi. Thank you for your company, Akari."

Kenchi opened his mouth, then nodded, resigned. "You're welcome, Shuukou."

Akari wasn't going to give up so easily. "Can't you stay with me tonight?" she argued. "I'll drive 
you out before work tomorrow. I don't like the idea of you on a bus by yourself."

I smiled and surprised her (and myself) by hugging her gently. "I'm a big girl, Akari," I reminded 
her. "I can take care of myself."

She sighed. "Well, all right then. But if you get into any trouble, call me!"

I refrained from reminding her that I had no access to a phone, nor any desire to have it. If 
something threatened my forest, I was well able to take care of it myself.

She hesitated, then beckoned me down so she could whisper in my ear. "I don't like him either,"
she said. 

I stopped myself from bursting into tears or fits of laughter (or possibly both) and simply nodded 
in acknowledgement. "Until we meet again, may the earth that birthed you hold you safe, Akari," 
I said solemnly.

Kenchi muttered something, but I ignored him, turned on my heel and walked to the nearest station.
I could feel my forest calling me, and I yearned to submerge myself in its unconditional love 
again. I had no need for the love of others. Not anymore.

End.

Author's Notes: 

God, I loved writing this. Absolutely loved it. I don't really have anything to say 
about what happened in this chapter, because I'm hoping it's all fairly self-explanatory but if
you have any questions, or something to say, or offers of sexual favours, please contact me at 
keh36@student.canterbury.ac.nz

Big thanks and cookies go to Ard and Ravi for eleventh-hour pre-reading when I had internet 
access problems, and also to Dan for accepting this late, due to said problems.
Well, I'm assuming he accepted it, or you wouldn't be reading, would you?

Phoebe.