Change can be a frightening thing, especially when it occurs very quickly. So many things had happened to us, that when I stopped and thought over the length of time in which they had happened, I was shocked. Our lives had changed so drastically, most likely forever, and it had happened over the course of what could still be counted as days. Even then, I knew that we wouldn't be able to go back to anything resembling what had been our lives before. I think though, it isn't the change that is so terrifying, but the way we see it in ourselves, how it can reveal parts of us we never knew before. Judou once said I was the caring heart of our group, and I was glad to know that at least he thought of me that way, and perhaps the others did too. But when I look back to how scared and horrified I was at the beginning, and compare that with how calmly I was able to accept things later on, it's disturbing. Not that there is anything wrong with becoming stronger, and I'm not saying I wish I hadn't. But to know how quickly you can become hardened to something... it makes you wonder if eventually, you will just shut yourself off from the world and stop caring all together. But I guess if I care so much about caring, then that isn't likely to happen, something for which I am very grateful. Not for me, but for my friends. Because as much as they may not wish to admit it, I think they need someone to worry about them. =================================== =================================== Wings of Fate Chapter 18 - Steel Angels Written by Lady Brick Created by John Evans and Ardweden =================================== =================================== I woke up fairly early the next morning, and was surprised at how refreshed I felt. I've always been a morning person, but after the events of last night, I expected to feel more drained. Since Kenchi and Soshi were both still asleep, I took the opportunity to take a nice relaxing shower. After hearing of the attack on Judou and Shuukou, I wasn't sure what to expect for the day. =================================== The first thing I heard when I exited the bathroom after dressing was Soshi saying "Shopping?" in a somewhat disbelieving voice. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, his sightless eyes pointed straight towards Kenshi. "You want to go shopping?" "Of course," Kenchi said, rather smug. Most likely because he seemed to have caught Soshi somewhat off guard. His anger seemed to have cooled off over the wreckage of his car that had appeared on the news. He was also calmer towards Soshi than he had been since his accusations a few days ago, and he had settled back into his comfortable grudging tolerance. Secretly, I think he was somewhat glad that Soshi had risen up so strongly to what he thought was Shuukou's defense, though he would never have admitted it. "We're going to be here for a few days, and it would seem suspicious if we spent them hiding in our rooms. Besides, Akari still needs to get her bathing suit." This time, I was the one caught off guard. "What? But I thought we weren't going to the water park anymore because of the delay." Kenchi flashed me a somewhat leering smile, and even though I knew he was joking, I still flushed at the attention. "That doesn't mean that we can't take the opportunity to enjoy the motel pool, since we are paying for it. Or rather, *I'm* paying for it." I wasn't sure what sort of thinking Kenchi had been doing, but it was very comforting to see him back to his old self. Soshi frowned, somewhat lost in thought. "If indeed we are still being tracked, it would be wisest to conceal the fact that we were ever here, besides just hiding our current physical location. It will take a few moments." He settled into a comfortable position on the bed, then paused. "Kenchi, could you come here for a moment?" There was something somewhat odd in his voice, as if he had just had a very disturbing thought. "What is it?" Kenchi asked, thought he was already moving over to Soshi. "I just want to try something really quick," Soshi replied absently. "Could you kneel right in front of me? So your face is level with mine?" Kenchi did without questioning, though I could tell he looked uncomfortable staring into Soshi's blank eyes. I guess he figured that arguing would damage the calm and carefree surface he had erected. They stayed that way for over a minute. I shifted from foot to foot a bit nervously, and just when I thought the silence was about to become unbearable, Soshi turned his head away. "I didn't think it would work," he muttered. Kenchi pressed him about what he had been trying to do, but Soshi wouldn't say, and finally Kenchi gave up to let him build his barrier around what he called our 'residual presence', and then another around that to conceal what was apparently a pretty noticeable working. It was much later on that we found out, not without some difficulty, that he had been attempting to link to Kenchi as he had during the second attack at his apartment, when he had needed Kenchi's strength to defeat the shadow creature. However, the link had apparently been based on Kenchi's abilities... Soshi, perhaps because of his own internal barriers, was unable to complete the link without Kenchi's drawing gaze. On the other hand, this made it nearly impossible for Kenchi to exert control over Soshi, though that didn't come into play until much later on. =================================== Surprisingly, the shopping trip was a lot of fun. Kenchi footed the whole bill, and even insisted that we stop for ice cream in a small shop that was on one of the street corners. For some reason, I found it funny that Soshi's ordered black raspberry. We stopped in a few shops to get some supplies for Soshi's protection spells. We did manage to find a bathing suit shop and Kenchi piled my arms with a dozen suits and ordered that I model each one, even describing them in great detail to Soshi, who seemed bored out of his mind. I eventually settled on a somewhat modest one piece with a motif of blue flowers and green leaves, mostly because it reminded me of Shuukou. =================================== Not too surprisingly, Kenchi disappeared ten minutes after we got to the pool. He was snapping a few photos with a disposable camera (for Judou and Shuukou he said, though he seemed to pay extra close attention to my bathing suit) when he spotted a girl on the other side of the pool who he said needed to be captured forever by his 'artistic eye'. I'll admit, I was a bit jealous. After swimming a few laps, I climbed out of the pool and took an empty seat next to Soshi, who sitting in a chair dressed in a black shirt and shorts. Though it was an unusually hot day for that time of year, it didn't seem to bother him. He seemed so out of place... everyone around the pool was laughing and running around. In a word, happy, I guess. Soshi pretty much just sat there, arms crossed, face pointed directly to the sun as if in challenge. And he wasn't wearing sunglasses, which seemed to cause a few people to comment. I really wasn't sure what to say to him. I think I understood him a bit better since our talk that night at the Tengu's. In some ways, he reminded me a lot of Shuukou. Both of them were so fiercely independent that they felt they had do shut out everyone else. But while Shuukou simply projected apathy towards most humans, Soshi seemed to feel that creeping them out was more effective. And he was probably right. So I didn't say anything. I lay there, shivering a bit on the towel-covered chair until the sun had finally warmed me back up. Soshi was the one who spoke first. "Did Kenchi say when he would be back?" "Not really." "I figured as much." He shifted position slightly, his blank eyes seemingly never leaving the sun. "I'm not sure what has gotten into him today, but if he continues acting in such a careless manner, he could easily give us away." I sighed. "He's just being himself. And I think I'd rather see him like he always has been more than I want to see him upset about everything." Soshi took a deep breath and began speaking as though explaining something to a small child. "Things aren't the way that they were last week, Akari. It's foolish to try to hide behind the same facades that you always have, because you are facing something completely different. This isn't another business client, or a sick child, or a tree, or the victim of another ridiculous prank. These are the bearers of powerful magic, who intend to do us great harm, and not for one minute will it do to forget that." "I don't think any one has forgotten that at all Soshi? How can we, while we're on the run and being attacked? But that doesn't change who we are at all." "A noble sentiment. But do you really believe it?" I paused. "Yes." "You don't sound very confident," Soshi smirked, his voice once more gaining his cocky edge. "Perhaps you just don't want to see what's there." "And maybe you're trying to see something that isn't there," I replied a split second before I realized what I had said. I covered my mouth in horror. "Oh Soshi, I'm so sorry..." "Perhaps you are right," he said mildly. "Always pitying and sensitive... I guess you never will change." "You don't understand Soshi." I paused, trying to figure out how to say what I felt. "I feel like it's my fault..." "We'll find a way, I'm sure." For some reason, I think that was the most comforting thing Soshi could have said. His tone hadn't changed at all, and he didn't even say it directly to me, but the word 'we'... it was as if he really wanted me to help, believed that I could. And I finally felt like I had a place in our small group again, for the first time since my failure. =================================== Soshi and I waited by the pool until the sun dwindled away, but Kenchi didn't return. Not long after we had returned to my room and eaten leftovers from last night for dinner, Kenchi stopped briefly by the room to let us know that he was all right and he would be back in the morning. Soshi began arguing with him about the dangers of separating, but Kenchi cut him off, saying that we would only be here for one more night, and he might as well enjoy himself, before walking out. I was a bit worried about Kenchi. At first, it had been nice to have him acting the way he always had again, but his total lack of recognizing the danger we were still in was very unnerving. Soshi's words came back to haunt me. Was he in denial about the situation? Was he so desperate to return to his normal lifestyle that he didn't care about the consequences? I didn't feel any of the jealously I had earlier, but this shadowy fear was much worse. I didn't talk to Soshi anymore that night, but there really didn't seem to be a need to. =================================== Sure enough, Kenchi appeared at my room bright and early. I had apparently been more worried about him than I realized, because I immediately hugged him, and then yelled at him. He was so surprised that he didn't leave Soshi and me for the rest of our time at the motel. Our last day was fairly uneventful. We visited a few more shops (Soshi grumbling all the way) and added to our supply of food, in case Judou and Shuukou caught up with us. We debated about staying an extra night; Soshi thought it was too dangerous, but Kenchi and I both wanted to give the two a better chance of meeting up with us. Soshi said nothing, only strengthened the barriers he had put up the day before. Everyone stayed in my room again that night. Looking back, I almost wonder why nothing attacked us while we were there. Were we really that well hidden? I doubt it. And it would have been easier to mount an attack while our group was split up. I never really understood why we were safe there, but I was glad we at least had a bit of calm before the storm that was about to follow. Morning came, breakfast was eaten, and after leaving a note for Judou, Shuukou, and whoever it was who had joined them, we began our journey towards Aomori, and whatever fate awaited us. But what we found when we got there was certainly not what we expected. =================================== =================================== !!!OMAKE!!! "I just want to try something really quick," Soshi replied absently. "Could you kneel right in front of me? So your face is level with mine?" "Sorry Soshi," Kenchi replied. "I just don't feel comfortable being intimate with you in front of Akari." ===== He was snapping a few photos with a disposable camera (for Judou and Shuukou he said, though he seemed to pay extra close attention to my bathing suit) when he spotted a girl on the other side of the pool who he said needed to be captured forever by his 'artistic eye'. However, when I slipped my bathing suit down a bit, he changed his mind rather quickly. ===== "You don't understand Soshi." I paused, trying to figure out how to say what I felt. "I feel like it's my fault..." "It's all right," Soshi said to my bathing suit. "This x-ray vision is much better." *WHAM* ===== I didn't talk to Soshi anymore that night, but there really didn't seem to be a need to. Nothing I said could have gotten him to turn off that horrible Backstreet Boys CD. ===== Sure enough, Kenchi appeared at my room bright and early. I had apparently been more worried about him than I realized, because I immediately hugged him, and then yelled at him. He was so surprised that he didn't leave Soshi and me for the rest of our time at the motel. Maybe that did make the bed a little crowded, but I wasn't one to complain. =================================== I had more Omake planned, as well as such things as proofreading, but I am leaving for vacation right at this moment, so very sorry ^_^;;; Hopefully and major grammar errors can be corrected later. Thanks to Ravi for his comments. Lady Brick