I reach over and pick up the knife.  The ivory feels warm and slippery in my
hands.  I caress it, trying to get a feeling from it.  But I'm not Soshi or
Shuukou, I can't just *feel* evil.

I look over at Akari.  Her eyes are wide open, panicked, pleading.  "Help
me, Judou, *please*."  There is such fear and terror and needing in her
voice, I reach out to her.

She looks over my shoulder and screams.  "Look out!"

And then I *do* feel it.  There's evil nearby, overwhelming, powerful,
hateful.  And it's reaching for me, it's going to hurt me and Akari.  And I
have seconds to act.

With the knife in my hand, I whirl.  There is noise and sound, and then-

-I woke up.

I sat up with my head in my hands, and despite the terrifying contents of my
dreams, I felt terribly guilty.  I had violated my people's command; I'd
used my magic.

I'd just had a vision of the future.


Wings of Fate
Started by: John Evans and Ardweden

Chapter 26:  Mine Eye Untrue
by: Richard Lawson


The apartment I was staying at was small by comparison to my last one.  Much
smaller.  I got up, still feeling shaky.  I decided to take a shower, as
much to clear my head as to prepare for the day.  No sense in running off
half-cocked until I could sort things out.

The hot water cascaded over my body as I scrubbed myself.  Akari's eyes
haunted me.  She was going to be in danger some time in the future.
Overwhelming danger, if my sense of the vision was correct.  And it would
somehow be up to me to save her.

I shut off the water with a violent jerk.  Once again, I damned myself for
participating in that damn study.  The world had definitely been a better
place for all concerned before I'd led Akari and Kenchi and the others down
the path that would give them 'magic'.  Phillipe was dead, Soshi was blind,
and we'd done no one a lick of good during the entire time we'd held our
powers.  So far our net effect on the world had been overwhelmingly
negative, and I had the strong feeling that it was about to get worse.

I completed my morning rituals - well, late afternoon rituals.  After
completely the task I'd had with Macha - you'll have to hear about that from
someone else - I'd taken a job as a night clerk at a nearby hotel.  Yeah,
quite the job for a college graduate, but I was trying to lay low.  I'd told
no one but Kenchi where I was living.  I made enough money to get by for
now.  I just needed to survive until - well, until it was over.

I glanced at the clock and saw that I had a couple of hours until I was due
for work - the vision had woken me early.  I decided to stop by and see
Akari.  If for no other reason than to make sure that she wasn't currently
in danger, and to warn her of what I'd seen.

On my way out the door, I picked up my phone.  The normal dial tone came in
short bursts, indicating I had voice mail.  I punched the speed-dial for my
inbox, entered my PIN, and played the only message I had waiting.

"Judou?  It's Kenchi.  I just got a voice mail from Shuukou."

This mildly surprised me; Shuukou doesn't like using technology much,
especially phones.  She likes to rant about how we've all become slaves to
phones, that all they have to do is ring and we'll stop whatever we're
doing, no matter how important it is, and answer them.  It's been the topic
of some debate in happier times gone by, with Kenchi and Shuukou offering
point and counterpoint in rapid succession while the rest of us interjected
our comments from time to time.  In the end neither side was able to
convince the other, but Shuukou's distaste for phones didn't prevent her
from using them.  Especially when it was important.

"It's kinda weird and cryptic.  I want to follow up on it, but I can't.
I'm... doing things that can't be interrupted."  Kenchi's recorded chuckle
sounded in my ear.  "Sorry.  Now *I'm* being weird in cryptic.  But there
are reasons, and I bet you can guess who gave me those reasons."

He was right; it wasn't hard to guess.  The priestesses had obviously given
each of us a different task, and undoubtedly Kenchi's was just as strange as
mine had been.

"Do what you can about it; I can't, much as I want to.  Anyway, you might be
best suited for it.  It's about Akari.  Message follows."

The hairs on the back of my neck rose.  Akari.  The timing couldn't be a
coincidence.

"This is Shuukou."  Her voice sounded slightly strained, which reassured me
not in the slightest.  "I want you to know that I've mailed a package to
Soshi's old place.  Get it, and talk to Soshi, too, at the monastery."  A
slight pause.  "Akari's in danger.  But the package - I think it will help.
Be very careful, Kenchi."

End of message.  To erase, press seven.

I hung up the phone numbly.  The future was a lot closer than I had thought.

I ran out the door, revising my plan.  Of course I still intended to see
Akari.  But first I'd stop by Soshi's place.  There was something I needed
to pick up.

---

"Hi Judou!"  Akari beamed happily.

Judou grinned back at her as he put on his lab coat.  He'd never admit it to
her, but he always found her most attractive when she was wearing her lab
coat and reading glasses.  For him, natural, un-made-up appearances beat
supermodels any day of the week.

He gestured at the pad Akari had been scribbling furiously on.  "What's
that?"

"Oh, just a model for the beta-fields.  Soshi's just had this great idea and
I'm seeing how it'll interact with the model I've created of the brain."

Judou sat down next to Akari as he raised an eyebrow at Soshi.

Soshi didn't look up from the terminal whose keys he was pounding.  "Just a
thought about the Earth's gravity and how it might affect what we're doing.
Gravity may be the weakest force in the universe, but there's an awful lot
of it going around."

Despite himself, Judou was impressed.  He'd been planning to drop that hint
later.  But this team was constantly surprising him.  As unlikely a set of
personalities as they were, together they were deducing in weeks what others
had discovered after centuries of trial and error.  Judou, not for the first
time, wondered where it would end.

He smiled to himself, trying to suppress the excitement.  Wherever the team
was going, he planned to be there.  Great things would be accomplished.

The lab door opened, and Shuukou and Kenchi walked in together.  Akari
cheerfully greeted them, Soshi ignored them, and Judou waved his hand.
Strange how those two always seemed to arrive and leave at the same time.
Judou was no expert at human interaction, but they genuinely seemed to
dislike each other.  At least, Shuukou seemed to despise Kenchi and Kenchi
showed no inclination to put the moves on her as he seemed to do with every
other attractive female that crossed into his general vicinity.

Kenchi smiled and Shuukou nodded her head.  As they put on their lab coats,
they began arguing vociferously.  Or, as Judou listened, *continued*
arguing, evidently picking up on the same thread they'd been discussing as
they'd left the lab last night, starting at exactly the point they'd left
off of at the end of the day.  It was about alpha-fields, and Judou heard
them very slowly but very surely work towards quantifying what his ancestors
had long considered unquantifiable.

Judou looked back at Akari.  She was staring at her notepad again, the
eraser of her pencil tapping her lips.  Judou moved his chair closer to
Akari's and leaned forward, trying to follow the equations and diagrams.  It
was quite difficult.  Akari was, perhaps, the most intelligent person he had
ever met.  Complex equations just popped into her head, followed a while
later by their answers.  Judou had been more than a little surprised that
she had gone into psychology rather than something more technical.  After
getting to know her a little better, he had a theory about that: Akari found
no challenge in solving technical problems or writing programs or whatnot.
Only people and the way they acted surprised her.

Judou continued to study what she had written, then pointed at one section.
"What if you tried to expand-"

"Yes!"  Akari immediately scratched out the section and began writing new
equations below it, as always three steps ahead of everyone.  Judou followed
what she was scribbling, at least half his mind focused on the fact that his
cheek was about six inches away from hers and that his hand on the back of
her chair was touching the small of her back and that Akari smelled
wonderful.

Akari leaned back suddenly, forcing Judou into a hasty retreat.  She turned
to him, smiling.  "How's that?"

Judou's mouth seemed filled with cotton.  "Um... you look- I mean, ere, it
looks great."

Akari's smile vanished and her cheeks colored slightly.

"Bring it over here, then," Soshi interjected.  "Let me put it into the
computer and see what it tells us."

"Sure!"  Akari jumped up, grabbing her notepad.  She ran over to Soshi,
dropping the notepad in his lap.

"Control yourself," Soshi muttered.  Still typing, he glanced down at the
notes.  His fingers didn't seem to slow as he opened a new window and began
typing in the equations.

Judou stood up and walked over as well, watching closely to make sure there
were no inputting errors.  And he didn't once look over at Akari standing
next to him.  And his fingers didn't quite touch hers as they each put their
hands on the back of Soshi's chair.  But Judou did feel the warmth of her
fingers, as he was sure she felt his, and that was enough.

---

I zipped up my jacket as I walked along the road.  The large factories to
either side of me seemed to turn the street into a wind tunnel, whipping
away whatever warmth I might have been able to glean out of the late-autumn
air.  I stuck my hands in my pockets and crossed the street to the only
house for miles around.

Soshi's house had changed.  I mean, it was still the same house it had
always been - small and featureless; dirty unwashed siding; windows
completely covered from the inside with gray curtains - but now it looked
thoroughly abandoned.  The sparse lawn was unkempt, mostly brown patches,
with the surviving grass growing unevenly, choked with weeds.  Litter was
everywhere, on the sidewalk, lawn, and steps.  It looked thoroughly
depressing, the kind of place you'd never be proud to call home.

I walked up to the overstuffed mailbox.  No one had collected the mail in a
while, and it had become stuffed with the inevitable deluge of junk mail.
Still, it wasn't hard to make out the large brown envelope sticking out of
the top.

I took it out, ignoring the other mail that spilled out as a result.  I
turned it over and saw that it was addressed to Kenchi at Soshi's address.
There was a long, hard, think object inside.  I tore off one end of the
envelope and tipped it so the object fell out.

I'd known what it was going to be before the ivory handle fell into my hand.

I studied it intently.  A fairly ordinary kitchen knife, about seven inches
long.  I had a sickening feeling I knew what the edge was encrusted with.

Still holding the knife, I looked inside the envelope.  There was a folded
piece of paper inside of it.

Often I wish I'd taken some elementary precautions.  Putting down the knife
or putting it back into the envelope, waiting until I was somewhere
sheltered, anything.  But, without any real thought, I curled my three lower
fingers around the knife's handle and reached inside the envelope with my
thumb and forefinger.  Gingerly I pulled the paper out.  Not so gingerly,
the wind whipped it out of my tentative grip.  The last I saw of Shukkou's
letter, it was flying over a nearby fence towards a factory.

I swore and ran after it.  But I quickly lost sight of it, and the fence
soon brought an end to my running.

I dropped my head and leaned it against the fence, furious.  Furious at
myself, furious at Shukkou for this cloak-and-dagger routine.  Couldn't she
have just *told* us what was wrong on the phone?  Couldn't she have come to
meet me or Kenchi in person?  Why put this information regarding Akari's
safety at risk?

I hated all of it.  And I hated myself most of all.

Steeling myself, I pushed myself off the fence.  As much as I had wanted to
avoid this, I would need to go see Soshi.  He knew something about it,
evidently.  On the way I would pick up Akari.  If she was in danger, I
needed to get her under my protection, and fast.

---

The group that was sitting around the restaurant table was talking
excitedly.  Even Soshi, Judou noted with amusement.  The possibility of
success had managed to overcome even his cynicism.

Kenchi was shaking his head.  "Man, I can't believe it.  Magic.  Actual
magic."

"Not magic," Akari bubbled.  "Alpha, beta, and gamma fields interacting with
the Earth's gravity and magnetic fields, as well as the alpha waves of our
own brains."

"Call it what you want, the end result is the same."  Soshi smiled widely,
perhaps under the influence of one too many beers.  "The ability to warp
reality to our needs."

"If it works," Shuukou said.  "Don't forget, we've got a few reproducible
effects and bunches of irreproducible ones.  We've got to think about what's
publishable."

"And we have one more test to make," Soshi amended.  "One last way to see
just how well all these things flow together."

Judou stared down at his beer - only his second one of the evening - and
frowned.  "We should be careful.  We don't know what it will do."

"It'll unlock our potential!"  Akari had only partaken of three glasses of
wine, but this had been enough to put her bubbly personality into overdrive.
"We'll be able to do *so* many things.  Maybe put an end to world hunger -
Shuukou's got some great ideas for that.  Or bring down language barriers -
we'll be able to talk mind to mind.  Or cure diseases or *anything*!"  Akari
waved her arms around, forcing Judou and Kenchi to duck.  "The benefits are
endless!"

"As are the risks."  Soshi seemed to have recovered a measure of sobriety.
"Think of what a weapon this could make."

"Tish tosh."  Akari made shooing motions at Soshi.  "If we can get people to
*understand*, there won't be a *need* for war anymore!"

Shuukou shook her head.  "You'd be amazed at how far men will go searching
to find a reason to fight."

Akari frowned.  "Do you want to stop?  We're only a couple of weeks away
from finishing the project.  Do you want to stop with what we've gathered so
far?  It would make for a pretty boring paper."

Shuukou looked to one side.  "No.  I don't want to stop.  We're on the verge
of unlocking something fundamental.  We need to see where it leads, before
someone else does."

Kenchi poked her in the arm.  "There's more to it than that, isn't it?  You
want to see if you can do magic."

Shuukou sighed.  "Okay, yes, I want to be able to do 'magic spells'.  Who
wouldn't?"

"Who indeed."  Soshi was looking at Judou as he said this.  Judou frowned
back at him, utterly confused.

"Okay!"  Akari bounced in her seat.  "Then we get ready for the final test.
Starting tomorrow."

"Well, if we're going to start tomorrow, I need to get some sleep."  Kenchi
stretched his arms and stood up.  "I'll pay the tab on the way out."

"You won't pay for me.  I'm not going to be indebted to you for anything."
Shuukou stood up and walked with him towards the register.

Judou considered Akari carefully.  "I don't think you should try to get home
on your own.  Can I give you a lift?"

Akari beamed at him.  "Sure!"

Judou nodded and looked over at Soshi.  "How about you?"

"I'll just stay here for a little bit longer."  Soshi was tracing designs on
the table with his fingertip.  "I want to think a bit."

"Okay."  Judou and Akari rose together.  They made their way to the parking
lot and Judou's beat-up car, functional in that it got him from point A to
point B with a minimal amount of difficulty.

They didn't talk much during the trip, although Akari was humming happily
the entire way.  He pulled up in front of her off-campus apartment, and
Akari immediately opened the door and promptly fell out of the car.

Judou quickly turned off the car and set the brake.  He opened his own door
and ran around in time to see Akari get unsteadily to her feet.  "Are you
okay?"

"Fine, I'm fine."  Akari grabbed his arm.  "Walk me to my room?"

"Um... okay."  Judou felt unaccountably warm as they made their way into the
apartment complex.  Akari was still humming, and leaned heavily into him as
they walked down the hallway.

They reached the door.  Akari fumbled with her keys while still leaning into
Judou, and somehow managed to open the door.  Finally she pushed herself off
of him and stepped into her apartment.  She turned and smiled at him, that
beautiful, brilliant smile of hers.  "Want to come in and talk for a while?"

Judou swallowed heavily, staring at her.  So pretty.  So smart.  So
wonderful in so many ways.

So human.

Judou averted his eyes.  "I... I can't, Akari.  I'm sorry."

"Wh-what?"  The pain in her voice squeezed his heart.  "Why?"

"I just... can't cross that line with you."  Judou steeled himself as best
he could, easier to do when he wasn't looking at her.  "It's the same answer
as last time.  I'm not ready for a relationship right now.  You're a good
friend, Akari, perhaps my best friend.  But you can't be anything else to
me.  Ever."  He swallowed again, trying to keep from choking.  "I'm sorry."

"D-don't be sorry!"  The forced cheer in her voice made him look up.  She
was smiling, but her eyes were wet.  "Isn't that what I said last time, too?
Besides, I just wanted to know if you wanted to talk."

Judou forced his own smile.  "I know.  I'm just too weak - I'm afraid of
what I might do if I'm alone in the same room with you."

"You men!  Drink a little and you lose all inhibitions!"  Akari smiled
widely, almost painfully.  "Well, I need to get to bed and thanks for ride
and I'll see you tomorrow bye!"  The door closed suddenly, almost in time to
prevent Judou from seeing the first tear fall from Akari's eyes.

Judou took two steps back and fell against the wall, his hands covering his
face.  What the hell did he think he was doing here?  In this place, with
these people?  'City crow' indeed - in the end, the crow ended up picking at
the remains of roadkill while the other birds cried at it in hate.

He shuddered and made his way down the hallway.  Perhaps there was hope in
this project.  Perhaps there could be a way for the magic - for the alpha
and beta fields and all the rest - to allow him to be with Akari.

To allow him to truly be human.

He got into his car and sped off, hoping as he went.

---

The train station was not far from Akari's house.  I walked along the
sidewalk, my thoughts still troubled.  Too much happening, and I knew too
little.  The priestesses' instructions had been confusing bordering on
nonsensical, but I'd followed them.  Now, however, I was wondering what
they'd told the others, and why they hadn't talked to Akari.  I wondered
where Kenchi was and where Shuukou had fled.  I wondered if Macha was going
to reappear in our lives or if more old friends like Phillipe would be
turned against us.  All in all, I just didn't *know*.  And I hated that.

Just as Akari must have hated me for withholding the fact that I was a tengu
from her.

I shook my head and found myself in front of Akari's house.  I walked up to
the front door, idly noting that her lawn had something in common with
Soshi's: patches of it were brown and dead.  I grunted, thinking that the
summer heat must have been harder on grass than I had realized.

I knocked on the door.  I listened but heard nothing.  I knocked again,
harder, more insistently.  Suddenly I was worried that I was too late, that
whatever evil was stalking Akari was already here.  I was about to try and
break down the door when it opened.  Akari, dirty and dressed in a bathing
suit, stood in front of me, staring at me blankly.  "Yes?"

"Akari?"  I blinked at her.  "What are you doing?  Are you all right?"

She stared at me for another few seconds.  Then she smiled.  "I'm sorry,
Judou.  I was just about to take a shower and just threw this on so I could
answer the door.  Step inside, I won't be a moment."

I followed her inside.  I sniffed once; her house had a peculiar, unpleasant
odor.  Not overwhelming, not enough to make me gag or anything.  It was akin
to the smell of sour milk; I wondered if her refrigerator had broken.

Akari turned and walked towards the bathroom, untying her top as she did.
She dropped it on the floor, and I had to turn my head quickly, although not
before getting a side view of something I'd not seen before.  It was enough
to drive all thoughts of strange smells out of my head.

"What brings you here, Judou?"  She called from the bathroom.  I heard the
sound of water running as she started the shower.

My face burning, I called loud enough so that she could hear me over the
water.  "I had a vision."

"You did?"  Her voice echoed strangely in the bathroom, but I definitely
detected a note of concern.  "About what?"

"About you. I think you might be in danger."

Nothing for a minute or two; I imagine she was finishing up her washing.
Eventually the water stopped running, and I heard her step out of the shower
and begin to dry herself.  A minute later she stepped out of the bathroom,
wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, her wet hair tied in a pony-tail and
plastered to her back.

Akari looked up at me, her face intense.  "So what are you going to do about
it?"

"Go see Soshi.  Ask him about this."  I unzipped my coat and carefully drew
the knife out from the inside pocket.  Akari's eyes locked on to it,
studying it intently.  "What is it?"

"I don't know."  I put it back into the inside pocket.  "Shuukou sent it to
me.  She said you were in danger and that I should talk to Soshi.  She sent
me a letter along with the package but I lost it in the wind."

"Oh."  She studied my face intently, her expression mostly blank.  "And
you're here to... what, protect me?"

"Well, yeah."  I felt strangely defensive.  "If you're in danger, I want to
be there to intercept it."

She smiled and reached up to touch my cheek.  "How sweet."

I blushed again.  To cover it, I reached up to tug on my nose.  "Um, anyway,
do you have the time to accompany me to talk to Soshi?"

"Sure."  Akari lowered her hand, walked around me towards the front door.
She opened it, stepping into her shoes as she did so.

"It's cold out," I said as I zipped up my coat.

She looked at me over her shoulder for a minute, a tiny frown of puzzlement
on her face.  She saw me zipping up my coat.  "Oh.  Of course."  She grabbed
her coat from where it hung on a nearby peg.  She shrugged into it as I
walked past her out of the house.  Letting the door fall shut behind her,
Akari walked beside me down the walkway.

I frowned over my shoulder.  "Aren't you going to lock up?"

She chuckled.  "No, it's safe.  Where to?"

I pointed in the direction of the train station.  She nodded, and we walked
side by side towards it.  In the meantime, I couldn't help looking
constantly around, afraid for the danger that was coming for Akari.

---

Judou was panting slightly as they reached the crest of one hill in the
gentle forest.  Gentle, that is, until you had to hike through it with a
hundred pounds of equipment strapped to your back.  Judou sat heavily on a
nearby log, sighing in relief.

He looked over at Shuukou and Soshi.  They were each looking at hand-held
instruments and conferring quietly.  Finally, Shuukou pointed at the next
hill and Soshi nodded.  With another heartfelt sigh, Judou pushed himself
back to his feet.

Akari came up beside him as they walked.  "You okay?"

"Fine.  Just tired.  If you want to pity anyone, pity poor Kenchi.  He's got
the portable generator."

She glanced over at him.  "Yes, but he's got it on a hand truck and I've
been helping him over the difficult parts.  You've got the heaviest load to
carry on your back and shoulders."

Judou grinned at her.  "Thanks for the concern, but I'll be fine.  And if
this works, I'll be able to wish it all home."

Akari laughed gaily, and Judou joined in.  She seemed so incapable of
holding any negative emotions for long.  The day after the mini-drama at her
apartment door, she had shown up at the lab bright and cheerful as ever, and
had continued to be in a permanent good mood in the eleven days that had
followed.

The group once again reached a mini-summit, and again Shuukou and Soshi
conferred.  Judou refused to sit down, afraid that if he did he'd never be
able to stand up again.  Finally, Soshi called out to the group at large.
"The gravity readings are just within tolerances and the magnetic readings
are spot on.  I think this is as good as we're going to get this close to
Tokyo."

With a grateful sigh Judou unstrapped his backpack and let it fall to the
ground.  The others also began unpacking their equipment, and soon they were
busy assembling everything.  Judou could feel the excitement like
electricity in the air.  Perhaps that was the greatest magic of all.

Soon they had the equipment running.  Soshi was sitting on the generator,
laptop computer on top of his lap, pounding away at the keys.  He kept
asking for various readings, and Akari and Shuukou would call them out to
him.

Finally, Soshi looked around.  "Okay, are we ready?"

"Yes!"  Kenchi took Shuukou's hand and lead her to the center of the
equipment.  They sat down together, and Akari quickly joined them, holding
on to Shuukou's other hand.

Soshi stood up, holding on to the laptop.  His eyes found Judou's and locked
there.  "Will this work?"

Judou shrugged.  "I don't know.  But it's worth trying, isn't it?"

Soshi seemed to consider Judou's response.  He sucked in his lower lip, then
seemed to come to a decision.  He walked over to Kenchi and sat down next to
him, the cables attached to the back of the laptop easily long enough to
accommodate him.

Judou sat down last, holding on to Akari's free hand.  She looked at him and
grinned, squeezing his hand, almost bouncing in her seat.  Judou smiled back
at her, returning the squeeze.

Soshi set the laptop down on the ground.  "Activating."  He pressed a key,
then clasped Judou's and Kenchi's hands in his own.

The equipment began humming, most of the sound coming from the EM
transmitters.  Soshi closed his eyes and cleared his mind as Akari had
instructed them all to do.

The humming increased in intensity as the fields began to merge.  Despite
himself, Judou's mind raced with the equations that Akari had produced,
showing the fields coming together, building off of each other and the Earth
itself, becoming strong.  It was the stuff of magic, and it would be here in
a tangible form that a clear and focused mind might be able to direct and
shape.  If it worked, all they would have to do in the future was fire up
the equipment, summon the magic, and use it however they wanted.  Kenchi had
envisioned such generators becoming household items if certain problems
could be solved.  Came home too late to make supper?  Turn on the generator
and *wish* for supper to appear, and it would.

Judou fought the smile off his face; he needed to *focus*.  The noise had
leveled off, which meant that the fields had finished forming.  Now it was
time to reach out and try to shape the energy to his will.  They each had a
carefully prepared list of things they were to try.  Judou's first task
would be to attempt to gently levitate himself off the ground.  The others
were supposed to join him, then move on to their next tasks, which diverged
after that.

Judou tried to reach it, feel it, shape it.  *Something* was there, buzzing,
humming, echoing in his bones, his soul, and he should be able to caress it,
shape it, use it, to-

Suddenly the humming spiked in volume.  At the same time, Kenchi screamed.

Judou's eyes flung open.  Kenchi had taken his hands away from Shuukou and
Akari and was gripping his head.  He screamed again.  Shuukou reached out
towards him, concern on her face, before she too began screaming.  She fell
over, pounding the forest floor with her fists, shouting into the earth.

Judou looked over at Soshi.  "Shut it off!  Shut it-"

And then it was in his head, burning his brain.  Judou gasped and tried to
contain it, but it flew from his head and encompassed his whole body, and
his whole being burned with the sound of the humming.

Taking great gasping breaths of air, he looked back at Soshi.  Soshi was
also clutching his head, his fingernails drawing blood from his temples.
His screams were as loud as Kenchi's, and equally frightened.

Dreading what he would see, Judou turned towards Akari.

She was doubled over, her arms clutching her sides, rocking viciously where
she sat cross-legged.  As scary as the screaming from around the circle was,
Akari's silence was more terrifying.  She managed to lift her head and look
at him, the veins in her eyes pulsing bright red, the expression on her face
one of complete anguish and fear.  She mouthed a word, silent with no breath
behind it: "please".

Judou felt frozen.  Suddenly his own suffering was nothing, not even a
discomfort next to the pain he felt at Akari's suffering.  Judou felt his
sanity coming unhinged as the sight of Akari in agony burned itself forever
in his mind.

And yet, even as his reason began leaving him, he was able to use it to know
what to do next.  And with the last bit of coherent thought left to him, he
turned and lunged for the laptop.

---

The train pulled into the station.  I finished relating the day's events to
Akari as we joined the masses streaming out onto the platform.  Akari had
listened intently, never interrupting.

I looked around.  "Okay, now we have to take the Kofu line.  It's not far
along, we'll be there by seven."

Akari didn't respond, her face still thoughtful.  I led her towards the
right platform and we waited.

Akari, after a moment, looked up at me.  "How much of your vision do you
think is real, and how much is implied?"

I frowned.  "I don't follow you."

"Well, you mentioned feeling overwhelming evil, despite the fact that your
talents definitely do not lie in that direction.  Do you think you'll
actually feel evil, or was it the vision's way of warning you about
something?"

"Hmm.  A good question."  I thought it through.  "Well, you know, when I had
a vision about us in Soshi's basement, the vision foretold that I would feel
tremendous hate.  And I did.  Maybe my talents don't allow me to detect
passive evil, but if the hate and anger is actively focused on me, then
perhaps I can."

Akari nodded thoughtfully.  She stared down the tracks in the direction that
the train would come from.  "And the words?  Will you actually hear them, or
do you think that they're just a reflection of reality?"

I sighed.  "You lost me again."

"I mean... is it possible that I'll be in trouble without actually asking
for help?  Was the vision of me asking for help an indication that I was in
trouble without either being aware of it or unable to articulate it?"

That was a very good question.  "I... I don't know.  I don't control these
visions, you know.  I'm not exactly sure how they work or how good a
predictor of the future they are."

"I see," Akari said slowly.  "Better not risk it then."

"Risk what?"

Akari tore her eyes away from the train track and looked up at me.  "May I
see the knife?"

I shrugged and partially unzipped my coat.  I pulled out the knife, and
handed it to her gingerly, handle first.

Akari gripped it tightly, examining it.  "This looks like one of my knives."

"It does?"  This surprised me quite a lot, and raised a whole bunch of
questions.  "How did Shuukou get it?  And whose blood is on it?"

Akari's held the knife up to her eyes, examining the edge closely.  "I may
know the answer to both questions."

I blinked at her.  "Really?  Tell me."

"Shuukou stole it from me.  And the blood... it's my blood, Judou."

I gasped.  "What the hell?  What's going on, Akari?"

"Terrible things."  She flipped the knife around and handed it to me handle
first.  I took it from her, feeling the warmth from where she'd been
gripping it so tightly.

I looked up into her face.  Something appeared to slip, something in her
eyes seemed to shift, and her voice was suddenly fearful.  "Help me, Judou.
Please."

The whole world seemed out of whack.  A rushing, crashing sound was
building, filling my ears as I looked at Akari.  I reached out to her,
hoping she would explain, tell me about whatever horror she had undergone.

She looked over my shoulder, her eyes widening even further.  "Look out!"

I whirled, gripping the knife in my hand.  At the same time, a sense of evil
came upon me, overwhelming, focusing, *hating*.  And it hated *me*.

And it was behind me as I stared at the empty track.

As Akari's hands pushed my shoulders firmly, it all came together.  I had
interpreted the vision wrongly from beginning to end.  It wasn't warning me
about danger for Akari.  It was warning me about danger coming from Akari.

I tumbled forward, down off the platform and onto the track.  I turned my
head and saw the source of the roaring that had been building in my ears:
the Kofu train, pulling into the station.  In its headlight I saw flashes of
memories, all about me and Akari working together on the project, sharing
joy, heartache, and terror as we uncovered the science of magic.  I
remembered comforting her after that final, awful experiment, and vowing to
myself that she would never face such a moment again.

The train that was now less than ten feet away from me was a blessed relief.
It would forever erase from my mind the memory of how many times I had
failed the woman I loved.

~*~

Author's Note:  I am indebted to Lauren Page for pre-reading.  Thanks,
Lauren.  :)

The title comes from a Shakesperian Sonnet, CXIII:

Since I left you, mine eye is in my mind;
And that which governs me to go about
Doth part his function and is partly blind,
Seems seeing, but effectually is out;
For it no form delivers to the heart
Of bird of flower, or shape, which it doth latch:
Of his quick objects hath the mind no part,
Nor his own vision holds what it doth catch:
For if it see the rudest or gentlest sight,
The most sweet favour or deformed'st creature,
The mountain or the sea, the day or night,
The crow or dove, it shapes them to your feature:
  Incapable of more, replete with you,
  My most true mind thus makes mine eye untrue.