"I'm gonna be late!"

     Over the years, listening to Yuri's sudden exclamation as
she jumped up from the breakfast table had become as much a part
of her parents' morning routine as reading the newspaper, having
breakfast, or sacrificing a small animal to the nether gods. 
This morning, however, things did not proceed as they normally
did, because their daughter barely made it three steps before
falling over.

     "Are you all right?" Yuri's mother asked.  Her voice was
filled with concern.

     "Yeah, I'm okay.  I just forgot about my ankle for a minute.

It'll be a while yet before I can run, I guess."  Yuri grimaced. 
"Now I'll never get there on time."

     The third occupant of the room, a pulsating mass of
seemingly endless darkness, a void that appeared to refute the
very notion of any light save that of the two floating red orbs
within it, embers that held no warmth at all in their ominous
glow, asked, "Would you like me to give you a lift, dear?"

     "Troi, aren't you meeting a client in the Non-Linear Realms
Of Chaos Where No Man Dares Tread in an hour?" his wife asked. 
"The school is a bit out of your way."

     "Nonsense," Troi replied.  "I'll have plenty of time."

     "Thanks dad," Yuri said, grabbing a chair and pulling
herself to her feet.  "You're the greatest."

     "Well, the two of you better get going, then.  Do try not to
be late for your appointment, Troi.  It makes a bad impression on
clients."

     "Don't worry, mom," Yuri said.  "He'll get there on time. 
All he has to do is hurry a bit, like I always do.  Right, Dad?"

     "Right."

     Yuri's mother sighed and turned to face her daughter.  "I
think you're a bad influence on him."



********************************************************* 

                     Dark Heart High 
           Netherworld Educational Institution for  
                    The Universal Propagation of Evil           
                      started by Mads  

********************************************************* 


Part Nine: Execution!
by Nicolas Juzda

********************************************************* 

     When Yuri limped into her home room class, she saw that she
had just barely failed to make it on time.  Everyone else was
already seated, and her teacher, Fujiko Kurosawa, gave her a
stern look.

     "Miss Mikagami," Kurosawa said.  "I expect every student to
be in this class on time, injured or not.  If you cannot overcome
the inconveniences posed by a mere sprained ankle, you will never
amount to anything.  All villains face setbacks; the great ones
overcome them."

     "Yes, Kurosawa-sensei," Yuri mumbled as she took her place.

     "Now that everyone is here, we can begin.  Today's topic,"
the teacher said, turning her attention to the class as a whole,
"is the problem of heroes."

     As she waited for the muttering to die down, Kurosawa dimmed
the lights and turned on an overhead projector.  On the screen
were displayed various colourful individuals: a blonde girl in a
modified fuku, a boy standing next to a large humanoid robot, a
man in skintight red and blue spandex and a cape.

     "Take a look at these people.  They, and others like them,
represent the single greatest obstacle you shall face, and for
that reason we will be returning to this topic throughout the
year.  But first, let's see how much you've already learned in
Junior High.  How about you," she scanned the room for a second,
"Mr. Maimsworth?"

     Craig looked up, startled at hearing his name called.  "Yes,
Kurosawa-sensei?"

     "What would you do, Mr. Maimsworth, if you had captured a
hero?"

     "Uh..."  Craig looked around the room, clearly uncomfortable
at being put on the spot.  "I'd... put him in a... deathtrap."

     Kurosawa's face was unreadable.  "Go on."

     "Yes, a deathtrap."  Craig's voice was more confident now. 
"Maybe... a room with walls that closed in to crush him."

     "And what would you do then?"

     "Well, I guess that I'd want to gloat a bit about what I was
going to do after he was dead.  And I would probably be pretty
important, so I'd have lots of stuff I'd need to do.  I'd just
leave the poor sucker in there and go take care of whatever
scheme I was in the middle of."

     "You would tell the hero your plans, and then leave him in
your deathtrap unsupervised?" Kurosawa asked.  Now the reproach
was unmistakable.

     "I'd make certain it was escape-proof," Craig said.

     "I'm sure you would."

     Craig did not miss the sarcasm in the teacher's voice, and
he turned slightly red in embarrassment.  "Oh, dragonturds."

     "Let's see if anyone has any other ideas.  Perhaps, Miss
Wareme, you would like to share with the class what your response
would be if it were you who had a hero helpless and at your
mercy."

     Yasuko explained what she would do in such a situation.

     When she was done, a good three or four minutes later, there
was hardly an unflushed face in the room, and a large portion of
the class were pulling out handkerchiefs to wipe away the blood
that was dripping from their noses.

     "A commendably detailed answer," the teacher said. 
"Although I doubt if some of the elements therein would be
physically possible.  Now, would anyone else like to answer the
question?"

     One by one, the students supplied their own methods of
disposing of any hero who ended up in their clutches.

     "I'd gradually lower him into a pit of acid, so that he
could feel himself dissolve in it before he died!"

     "I'd strap him to a giant boomerang and launch him into
space!"

     "I'd drop him into an aquarium full of piranhas- upside
down!"

     Yuri tried to slide as low down in her seat as she could
manage, hoping to avoid Kurosawa's notice.  Everyone else seemed
to have some clear idea of what they would do.  She didn't have a
clue.

     Finally, though, only she and Balabalalde had not answered
the question.  Since Bala never spoke, that left just Yuri for
Kurosawa to focus on.  "Well, Miss Mikagami, it seems that once
again you are the last."

     Yuri nodded.  She couldn't find her voice.

     "Everyone else has told us what they would do if they were
to apprehend a hero.  Perhaps you'd be so kind as to share your
approach.  It seems only fair."

     Yuri glanced around helplessly, but found no comfort in most
of her classmates' faces.  Only Leilei appeared sympathetic to
Yuri's plight, although it was possible that there was some pity
in the unblinking eye of Bala.  Ki Tamaida, her occasional
saviour, was looking at Yuri with interest, but his face was
betraying no particular emotion.  Finally, her gaze fell upon
Craig, and she realized that even he had managed to come up with
a means of disposing of a hero, however lame.  But her mind was a
total blank.

     "We're waiting, Miss Mikagami."

     "I...

     "I...

     "I'd..."

     A few seats away from the hesitant Yuri, someone snickered.

     "Miss Wareme!" Kurosawa said, suddenly turning her attention
to the succubus.  "I will not tolerate such laughter in my class.

If that's the best you can do, you obviously need to spend an
hour practicing your bitch laugh this afternoon.  Be here as soon
as your last class is over."

     "Yes, Kurosawa-sensei."

     "Still no ideas, Miss Mikagami?" Kurosawa said, turning back
towards Yuri.  "Don't worry.  We can wait for you.  And if you
can't think of anything by the time class ends, you can join Miss
Wareme here after school until you come up with something."

     Yuri couldn't bear to look at her teacher, so she averted
her gaze once again.  This time, though, she also avoided looking
at her fellow students, and so her eyes happened to fall on the
window mounted in the classroom's door.  Through it, she saw
someone walking by in the hallway.  It was the senior girl she
had encountered twice, the one with the Ingram Mac-10.  Well, it
wasn't like Yuri had any better ideas...

     "I guess I'd just shoot him," she said.  She knew that it
lacked the flair and originality that all her classmates had
brought to the assignment, but she had to give some answer.  Yuri
almost felt like crying.

     "Shoot him?" Kurosawa raised an eyebrow.  "That's something
I didn't expect ever to hear from a student here at Dark Heart
High."  Yuri tried to sink even further into her chair, but she
was already as low as it was possible to get without sliding down
onto the floor.  "I will be grading each of your responses to
today's question.  Those of you who do not wish to wait until
tomorrow may pick up your mark at the end of the day."

     The class exploded with protests at this announcement, but
Yuri was too dispirited to join in.  Her first marked assignment
in basic villainy, and she was sure to get an F.

******

     "You're really not that good," Ki said casually.

     "I beg your pardon?" Yasuko replied.  She was busy trying to
fight her way through the flow of traffic through the halls as
she made her way to her second class, and she didn't need the
distraction of dealing with him.  Bumping into people in Dark
Heart High sometimes had quite severe consequences.

     Ki, for his part, was navigating through the crowd without
any apparent effort.  "Your little oration in class this morning.

You really weren't that good."

     "Maybe I've gotten better.  Care to find out?"

     "I thought you said I didn't have enough soul left to feed a
flea."

     Yasuko turned to face him.  "What I meant was that you never
did satisfy me."

     "And here I thought it was that I always left you wanting
more."  Ki smirked.

     "My time is far too valuable to waste trading bon mots with
you, Ki."  Yasuko set off once again, and the boy fell into step
beside her.  "I've got one detention after school today, thanks
to your little tramp, and I don't need another for being late. 
What do you want?"

     "Yuri Mikagami."

     Yasuko snorted.  "I still can't believe your tastes have
turned to the sweet and innocent."

     "That's not it."

     "What then?"

     "I know you, Yasuko.  You're not one to give up when you
feel you've been wronged.  Frankly, I'm surprised you didn't try
anything yesterday or the day before."

     "I've been busy."  The succubus shrugged.  "The cheerleading
squad has recognized my worthiness to be the assistant captain."

     "Assistant captain?"  Ki blinked.  "You're a freshman, same
as me.  You must have just joined two days ago, at sign-ups."

     "Yes, but the former assistant captain had a most
unfortunate accident.  I hear that she should be able to walk
again by the end of the year, though."

     "Didn't anyone else have seniority?"

     "It really has been a very tragic few days for the
cheerleading team."

     Ki whistled.  "You really have been busy.  I admit to being
impressed."

     "Enough to think twice about interfering with my plans for
the little strumpet?"

     "Hey, you are still ASSISTANT captain."

     "For now."

     "Look, Yasuko, I'm not going to ask what you think."

     "Oh really?  Not going to tell me to stay away from your
little lady love?"  As Yasuko spoke, she ducked under the leg of 
massive tusked being covered in pink fur.

     "Oh.  That."  Ki chuckled.  "I never wanted you to lay off
her."

     "You didn't?  Then why-"

     "What would you have done if I'd asked you to take Yuri
down?"

     "I'd have told you to go to Hell, same as when you asked me
not to.  You have a lot of nerve begging favours from me, of all
people, Ki."

     "Exactly."  Ki smiled thinly.  "You really are too
predictable."

     The succubus shot him a dirty look, and almost collided with
a shambling blob of red slime as a result.

     "Here's the deal I'm proposing," Ki said.  "You can launch
whatever attacks on Yuri you want.  I won't pre-empt any of them. 
I will try to save her, but I won't stop you before you get
started, or limit you in any way."

     "So I get to put the strumpet into danger whenever I want,
and all I have to do is wait for you to slip up.  As you
inevitably will."

     "Exactly.  All I ask in return is advance notice.  I don't
need to know what you're planning, just where and when."

     "Still sore at being caught in the wrong building?"

     "Yes or no, Yasuko?"

     Yasuko thought it over.  "If you try to interfere with my
plans, you put yourself at risk too.  I'm not pulling my punches
for you, Ki."

     "And if saving her necessitates my harming you, I won't
hesitate either."

     The two stared at each other for a moment, in perfect
understanding.

     "Why did we break up again?" Yasuko asked.

     "You tried to devour my soul."

     "Oh, right."

******

     Yuri's depression had not lifted by the time second period
ended.  Principal Amakusa was more interesting than Aug had been,
but the girl barely heard a word.  For the entire hour, her
thoughts were focussed on her poor showing in Basic Villainy.

     "What's wrong?"  It was Leilei who broke Yuri's reverie. 
She and Balabalalde slowed their pace to fall into step with Yuri
as she made her way to her third class of the day.  This made
progress much easier for the injured girl, who had been
struggling to navigate her way through the crowd with only one
good leg; even upperclassmen made room for the bandaged boy
beside her.

     "I'm just upset about blowing the assignment this morning."

     "Don't worry about it, Yuri.  It's just the first one of the
year.  There's going to be lots more for you to do better on."

     "You mean, there's going to be lots more to flunk."

     "Come on, Yuri.  Cheer up.  Look at Bala.  He's not
worried."  The boy's gaze moved briefly to look at Yuri.  "See?"
Leilei added, taking the eye movement as indisputable proof.

     "But Bala didn't have to do the assignment," Yuri said.  "Is
he even going to get a grade?"

     Bala blinked.  It was as close as Yuri got to an answer,
because at that moment they came to a cross-corridor, and their
third period classes were in opposite directions.  "Hey, Yuri, we
have to head this way, but we'll see you later, okay?  Try not to
let this morning get you down," Leilei called as she and Bala
headed off.

     As Yuri waved goodbye to her friends, she promised she'd
try.  Nevertheless, the girl was unable to follow Leilei's
urgings to put her poor performance from her mind.

     Finally, lunch rolled around, and Yuri headed off to rejoin
her friends.  She hoped that spending some more time in their
company would cheer her up.  However, as she headed through the
halls towards the cafeteria, she felt something hit the back of
her head, and everything went black.
******
     When Yuri came to, she realized that she couldn't move.  Her
legs were bound together, and her hands were tied behind her
back.  She was lying face-up on a hard surface, and dangling over
her were a whole lot of knives.

     A week ago, she might have found such a situation
surprising.

     "So the little tramp's awake at last," came an all-too-
familiar voice from outside her range of vision.  Craning her
neck, Yuri saw that she was in some sort of storage area.  Desks
and chairs were stacked along one wall, and old textbooks were
piled around the room.  Other random objects were scattered
throughout: some sports equipment, a 16 mm film projector, a
clearly broken futuristic device labelled CAUTION - DEATH RAY,
etc.  Yasuko was standing off to one side, the only other person
present.  It was she who had spoken.  "Good.  I wouldn't want you
to die before you had a chance to appreciate the brilliance of
this deathtrap.  Considering your latest insult to me, I thought
it appropriate to put extra effort into devising a suitable means
of killing you, to underscore how inferior you are.  'I'd just
shoot him'," she mimicked Yuri's voice badly.

     "Huh?  What insult?" Yuri asked.

     "You know perfectly well.  Thanks to your pitiful
performance this morning, I have to report to Kurosawa-sensei
after school."

     "Wait a second," Yuri protested.  "You were the one who
laughed at me.  You can't kill me for that."

     "The evidence would seem to indicate otherwise.  Anyway,
your very presence here is insult enough.  I seek to restore the
natural order of things.  I am your clear superior, yet you
constantly refuse to acknowledge that fundamental fact.  It is
therefore necessary to put you in your place.  And, as it
happens, your place is six feet under."

     Yasuko let out a roaring bitch laugh, but Yuri didn't think
it was all that funny, certainly not worth more than a B- in
Villainous Repartee.

     "Allow me to explain exactly how this all works," Yasuko
continued.  "So that, before you meet your end, you can glimpse,
however briefly, the true evil which you could never have hoped
to possess.  Of course, it's unfair to compare someone as common
as yourself to me.  Nevertheless, it is simple fact that you are
incapable of devising something as fiendishly clever as this."

     "Hey, I'm not that incompetent," Yuri said, but her heart
wasn't in it.  She half-believed that Yasuko was right.  "And at
least I know better than to explain my plans to someone I've
captured.  Didn't you listen to Kurosawa-sensei and Craig this
morning?"

     "Silence!  As you can see, hanging above you are three dozen
knives.  They are attached to a rope, which is in turn attached
to the only door into this room.  Should anyone enter, the rope
will slacken and the knives will fall."

     "Where did she get all those knives?" Yuri wondered aloud.

     "I am not without my resources."

******

     "What do you mean, all you have left are forks and spoons? 
How can the cafeteria be out of knives?" Craig asked.  His voice
was loud enough to attract the attention of the students standing
in line behind him.

     "Someone took most of them," the woman behind the counter
said.

     "But how am I supposed to eat this if I can't cut it?" Craig
asked, holding his plate aloft.

     "You've got that."  The woman pointed at the sword at the
boy's side.

     "This sword has been in my family for four generations! 
It's killed kings!  Well, a second cousin once removed of a king.

But that's still royalty.  This sword has spilled royal blood!"

     "Then it should be enough to cut meatloaf.  Next!"

     "Dragonturds."

******

     "Of course, I wouldn't want you to try wriggling your way
off that table," Yasuko continued.  "So I've brought this."  She
walked over to the table Yuri was tied up on, and held out a
large snake.  It hissed at the bound girl.  The succubus set the
animal down on the ground, and it slithered off.  "If you fall
off that table, you'll be lunch."

     Despite herself, Yuri was impressed.  "You managed to find a
giant snake on short notice too?"

******

     "Okay, class, the final ingredient of this potion is fresh
snake venom.  It is very important that we add it within sixty
seconds or else the other ingredients will mix with explosive
results, so... uh... does anyone remember where I put the snake? 
I know I had it here somewhere.  Let's see, it's not under any of
your chairs, is it?  No?  Well, um, you should all duck under
your desks.  Now!"

******

     "I wonder where Yuri is," Leilei said.

     Bala moved his eyes (the bandages around his head had been
unwrapped to allow him to eat, so both were visible) over to the
empty chair that they were saving for Yuri, then refocussed on
the pink-haired girl.

     "I hope she isn't moping somewhere by herself," Leilei
added.

     Bala stared at her.

     "If she's upset, we can support her.  It's important to talk
about what's bothering you."

     Bala continued to stare at Leilei.

     "Well, not for you, obviously.  Anyway, it's not like it's
that big a deal.  It's just one assignment, right?"

     Bala blinked.

     "Exactly."

     Bala looked down at the uneaten food in front of him, then
at the empty chair.

     "You're right.  We should save some food for Yuri.  She
might be upset, but there's no sense in her being hungry, too. 
Good thinking, Bala."

     Bala looked at Leilei.

     "Hey, is Craig attacking that meatloaf?" she asked.

******

     "Where is he?" Yasuko muttered to herself.  She had been
waiting for fifteen minutes.  Once she had finished her
explanation and gloating, she had settled back and watched the
door, in anticipation of Ki's arrival.  After her arrangement
with him had been made, she had informed the boy of the location
and time where she would next attempt to dispose of Yuri.  The
succubus had set up the deathtrap specifically so that the scion
of the Steel Thorn Clan would set it off himself.  What beautiful
irony!  He would throw open the door, only to watch his precious
Yuri impaled.  And Yasuko would get to see the look on his face
as he realized that he himself had been the one to cause it.

     There was just one little problem: he was nowhere to be
seen.

******

     Ki Tamaida moved swiftly through the halls of Dark Heart
High.  Chemistry class had run long, and then all the students
had been forced to stay and help clean up the mess.  Which meant
that he was late.

     Yasuko had told him that her latest assault against Yuri
would occur at exactly half past noon.  That had been fifteen
minutes ago.  The girl was far too valuable for Ki to lose, and
he silently cursed his chemistry teacher for detaining him.

     However, there was one element that might save the entire
situation.  Yasuko was primarily motivated by ego, and she'd want
Ki to know that she had beaten him almost as much as she wanted
to dispose of Yuri.  She might just hold off on whatever she was
planning until he arrived.

     Ki thought back to the time when he and the succubus had
been involved with each other.  The members of the Steel Thorn
Clan had their hearts removed, but there were other organs that
got one into relationships...

     Accelerating his pace further, the boy turned a corner, only
to come face to face with a nine-foot-tall, six-armed, green,
clawed, fanged and spike-covered monster.

     "And just where do you think you're going in such a hurry?"

     Ki came to a screeching halt just before he collided with
it.  "Sorry, Akurei-sensei."

     The nightmare's eyes snapped open.  When closed, they were
virtually invisible, so the effect was quite unnerving.  Well, it
would have been under other circumstances.  If you aren't
unnerved by a nine-foot-tall et cetera in the first place, the
sudden appearance of eyes probably won't do much for you.

     "You would be... Ki Tamaida?"

     "Yes, sir."

     "We have rules in this school about running in the halls,
Mr. Tamaida."

     "Sorry, sir."

     "Perhaps you'd better come with me."  Akurei waved a clawed
finger, beckoning for Ki to follow him.  "I think Principal
Amakusa might like to have a word with you about this."

     Ki gulped.

******

     It was three minutes before one o'clock.  Yasuko had finally
accepted that Ki probably wasn't going to show up.  This entire
arrangement of his was probably some attempt to make a fool out
of her.  She would be having some words with him later about this
embarrassment.

     "Well, always be prepared," Yasuko said.  "That's the
International Cabal of Woodland Pain motto."

     "I thought that was the Boy Scout motto," Yuri said.

     "Is it?"  Yasuko shrugged.  "Anyway, I have to get to class
now.  So, I'll just set up this."  She picked up an old cuckoo
clock that was lying amidst the other junk in the room, and
attached a knife to the hour hand.  Then she moved a chair so
that it was next to where the rope was attached to the door, and
set the clock down on it.  "If no one has entered by the time the
clock hits two or so, this blade will cut through that cord."

     "Did you think that up on the spot?" Yuri asked.

     "Some of us are capable of coming up with decent deathtraps
at a moment's notice.  It comes from good breeding," Yasuko
replied imperiously.  "A pity I won't get to see it go off, but
one can't have everything."  The succubus walked over to the
window at the back of the room and pulled it partway open.  Yuri
was startled to see her captor transform into a flock of bats,
and before she had time to assimilate this information, they had
exited through the narrow opening.

     "I can't believe she left me here alone," Yuri said. 
"Doesn't she pay any attention at all in Basic Villainy?"

     The captive girl wriggled her way over to the edge of the
table, but the hissing sound that rose to meet her made Yuri
reconsider.  Instead, she lay still, looking up at the knives
that would soon seal her fate.

     It didn't seem quite real.  Just this morning, she had been
upset about her poor showing in class, and now she was apparently
going to die.  The blades did not appear especially sharp, but if
they fell upon her, the force of the impact would compensate for
any dullness.  She would be skewered.

     Since her first day of class at Dark Heart High, exactly one
week earlier, Yuri had been in jeopardy repeatedly.  Craig had
tried to sacrifice her, Yasuko had ambushed her, the run-in with
the Evil Tech thugs, the purity grenade... it seemed like it had
been one close call after another.

     But this time, there would be no save at the last minute. 
Yasuko had planned this too well.  If Ki or Bala tried to rescue
her, as they had on those previous occasions, they would set off
the trap.

     Well, maybe it was better this way, Yuri thought.  She
obviously wasn't cut out to be a villain.  She had failed in
class, and now she had failed even to survive.  At least she
wouldn't have to hear her father's disappointment that she hadn't
measured up after all...

     No.  Try as she might, Yuri could not resign herself to
death.  She simply enjoyed life too much, lousy assignments and
all.  Not that her preferences seemed to matter much.

     The minutes ticked by.  One, two, three, cuckoo!

     At exactly one p.m., a small wooden bird, painted bright
yellow, emerged from the clock to mark the hour.  It was
accompanied by an artificial chirping noise.

     Either the visual or the auditory stimulus attracted the
attention of the room's reptilian occupant.  The snake promptly
knocked the chair over, causing the clock to tumble to the floor.

The fall did not bring the knife attached to it anywhere near the
rope, much to Yuri's relief.  The animal then proceeded to pounce
upon the fake cuckoo bird.

     After a second, the snake began thrashing around on the
floor.  The wooden object was still securely lodged in its
throat.  The force with which the animal had attempted to devour
it had been sufficient to bury it quite deeply down the snake's
gorge, far enough to block the windpipe.  Horrific gasping noises
emerged from the reptile as it tried to draw in air.  After a few
moments, its movements became quieter, and finally they stopped
altogether.  Shortly thereafter, the gasping stopped as well, and
the room was silent.

     Hesitantly, Yuri wiggled until she was partially overhanging
the drop to the floor.  When the snake failed to react in any
way, she moved a bit further, and fell.

     "Ooof."

     She lay there for a full minute, uncertain what to do next,
when the door suddenly flew open.

     Ki Tamaida stood framed by the doorway.  He would have
looked heroic, if he hadn't been so startled by the sight of
three dozen knives plunging down onto the empty table in front of
him.

     The scion of the Steel Thorn Clan took in the entire room. 
Yuri was lying tied up on the floor, a bunch of knives had just
rained from the ceiling, and there was a giant snake lying dead
in one corner of the room.  Granted, Yasuko did occasionally
leave scenes like this in her wake, but the succubus hadn't
seemed particularly interested in the pleasures of the flesh
during their discussion that morning.  "What in...?"

     "Ki!" Yuri exclaimed.  The boy turned back to her.  "Could
you please give me a hand?"

     Ki nodded.  He pulled out his katana and had her free in two
quick slashes.  "What happened?"

     "No time to explain!  We're late for class!"

******

     Yuri and Ki entered the Biology class almost ten minutes
late.  The lecture was already well underway.  "-and so you see,
the body is just a machine.  A complex machine, certainly, but a
machine nevertheless.  It is therefore possible to- Mr. Tamaida,
Miss Mikagami."

     Everyone turned to face the newcomers.  "Sorry we're late,"
Yuri said, "but-"

     "It was her ankle," Ki interrupted.  "She had trouble
getting to class.  I had to help her."

     Yuri frowned and looked at him curiously, but said nothing.

     "Oh, yes.  The incident on Monday.  Your ankle is still
giving you trouble?" the teacher asked.

     "Y-yes," Yuri stammered.

     "Would you like a new one?"  The teacher gestured to the
refrigerator that dominated the back of the classroom.  "I think
I've got a few that would fit you.  I might have to do both,
though, to keep the leg lengths even."

     "Uh... no thanks.  I'll just let it heal."

     "Suit yourself."  The teacher shrugged.  "If the two of you
will kindly take your seats, I will continue.  As I was saying,
large amounts of electricity will, if the tissue has been
properly preserved and prepared accordingly, be sufficient to..."

******

     Finally, the day was over.  Yuri was about to head home when
she remembered that Kurosawa-sensei had told the students that
they could find out their grades at the end of the day if they
wanted.

     She had to grant that at least the excitement at lunch had
taken her mind off of her poor performance.  But now that she did
recall it, she might as well find out the bad news sooner rather
than later.

     By the time she got to the classroom, everyone else present
had already received their marks.  She was the last.

     "Dragonturds," Craig muttered as she walked by him.  Yuri
could see that the paper he was holding bore the grade C- on it. 
She also noticed what appeared to me bits of meatloaf staining
the front of his black armour.

     "Ah, Miss Mikagami," Kurosawa said as she approached.  "I'm
glad you're here.  I've been wanting to talk to you about your
assignment."

     Yuri braced herself.

     "Here at Dark Heart High, we emphasize many of the more
theatrical aspects of evil.  These are not inconsequential, as
much of the success of a great villain rests upon fear and
intimidation.  We teach students proper deathtrap theory because
they are excellent for making examples of incompetent underlings
and members of the masses over whom you rule.

     "However, such colourful details are merely one aspect of
villainy, and if truth be told, not even close to the most
important one.

     "Evil, true evil, does not require such trappings.  To kill
someone in cold blood is evil.  Giant boomerangs and acid pits do
not serve to make it more so; if anything, they obscure that
simple fact.  Without the murder, there is no evil; with it, all
else is simply trivia.  

     "You, alone of all the students I have taught in my career,
instinctively did away with the unnecessary and superfluous
details to focus on the simple act of killing that lies at the
heart of the exercise.  Though you did express some hesitation
before answering, few new students here could have faced the
truth of the matter as unflinchingly as you eventually did; they
insulate themselves from the murder with plans so elaborate they
border on the absurd.

     "Often, these plans become an end in and of themselves, as
in the frequent cases where a villain will repeatedly place a
hero into some complex deathtrap when the precedent is that these
efforts will fail.  They would have far greater success if they
could find within themselves the simple bloodthirsty focus you
displayed in my class this morning.  Your method, Miss Mikagami,
gets the job done.

     "Never have I seen someone so young be so attuned with the 
evil that we try to cultivate in you.  I must say that I am very
impressed, Miss Mikagami.  So much so that I have mentioned your
answer this morning to Principal Amakusa."

     Kurosawa handed Yuri a slip of paper.  On it was written A+.

     "Thank you, Kurosawa-sensei," the girl said automatically. 
She could barely believe it.

     "Of course, we will be expecting you to participate in
building a shark tank in shop class and other deathtrap related
activities here.  As I said, such measures do have their place in
the greater scheme of things.  You must remember that too.

     "Now then, I'll see you tomorrow morning, Miss Mikagami,"
Kurosawa said.  She had dropped the more intimate tone of the
past few minutes, and was back to her normal strident voice.  "On
time, I trust?"

     "Yes, Kurosawa-sensei."

     After one more quick gaze at the slip of paper to convince
herself that her eyes hadn't deceived her the first time, Yuri
headed out the door.  If not for her ankle, she would have jumped
for joy.

     A+!

******

Author's Notes:

     It's hard to believe I actually finished this.  I had all 
the plotting and about one third of the writing done on Monday
night, but I spent the following few days unable to write 
anything, let alone something funny, or something this concerned 
with death.  Incidentally, I do hope that no one finds the 
morbidity of this piece to be inappropriate, but as I said, the
plotting was already done and it was far too late to start from
scratch.

     But it seems that I did finish it after all, and I hope that
the rushed completion of it doesn't show much.

     My thanks to Ann, Capfox, and Lirazel for allowing me to run
some ideas by them in chat, and to Ann for pre-reading.  Also,
I'd like to thank Mads for starting Dark Heart High, and all the
subsequent authors who set such an annoyingly high standard for
me to try to meet.

     My principal sources were parts two and three, the previous
chapters featuring Yasuko as antagonist.  Her reference to Ki's
lack of soul, his urging to her not to attack Yuri, and her
ability to transform into a flock of bats are all from part
three.  The girl with the Ingram (who really doesn't have a name
yet; I double-checked) has previously appeared in parts one and
four.  Yuri's ankle was broken in part six.  The description of
Akurei is straight out of part one, although I did reconcile it
with later references in parts six and seven to him actually
having eyes after all.

     Exterior sources include an old Silver Age Flash comic for
the giant boomerang deathtrap, and The Batman Adventures: Mad
Love for dumping someone into a tank full of piranhas upside
down.  Sharp eyed readers with heavy comic book backgrounds might
also note a cameo by Stanley's Monster.  The images that Kurosawa
displayed to the class were simply a generic Magical Girl, Mecha
pilot, and Superhero (although the description recalls primarily
Superman).  Austin Powers was NOT a source of inspiration here,
though; why they don't just shoot the hero is a question far
older than Scott Evil's suggestion.

     Finally, Ki and Yasuko having a romantic history is my own
invention, although it does explain their constant sniping.  I
hope no one thinks this idea was too nuts.

Nicolas

Two Impro parts, no skips, and counting

******

     Yasuko stalked through the halls, on her way to her own
appointment with Kurosawa.

     "I still can't believe that she survived!" the succubus
declared to the nearly empty corridor.  "After all my planning! 
What does it take to kill a girl around here?"

     While she spoke, she passed an upperclassman, an older girl
dressed all in black.  As soon as Yasuko finished her brief rant,
the upperclassman whipped out an Ingram Mac-10, thumbing off the
safety as she aimed it at the succubus' head.  It is impossible
to accurately aim an Ingram Mac-10 one-handed while firing, but
at this range it wouldn't have mattered.  The tip of the barrel
was less than two inches from Yasuko's temple.

     "Bang," the upperclassman said.

     Then she put away her gun and walked off, laughing softly to
herself.

     "What was that all about?" Yasuko asked.  When no answer
appeared forthcoming, she shrugged and continued on.