The van crested the hill and rolled down the gentle incline on the other side. The driver stared impassively out the window, squinting through the rain at the light in the distance. He was one of nature’s drivers, one with a vigilance that comes not from cups of coffee or a sense of duty, but from simply not expending much energy on other activities like talking or having facial expressions. Sitting beside the bishounehn driver was a more cheerful purple haired teenage girl, who was causing the driver problems with a very large map, which she handled with all the skill that can be realistically maintained with with a four metre square piece of paper.

"Ano, I knew we should have taken a right turn at Albuquerque." Said the navigator. From the back of the van a blonde blue eyed girl looked up from a local guide book.

"I thought the concert was in Los Angeles."

"Oh… So Los Alamos isn’t a misprint then…" The van continued along the road for a few minutes, before a muscular lad sitting opposite the blue eyed girl spoke:

"Han, are you sure that map’s the right way up?"

"Yes, what do you think I know nothing about navigation?" Another girl who looked similar the navigator, except for her hair, looked up.

"Hanaki… Is that the right map?"

"Er… Whoops." Everyone on the van facefaulted in anger, except for the driver who merely sighed. A cool looking curvaceous young lass sitting behind the driver’s seat took on an evil expression.

"Matsuro. Stop the van." The driver blinked and spoke, which was almost a special occasion in itself.

"We’ll have to wait for a lay by." A dark haired sensible girl, correction, young woman, looked over to the cool one.

"Why? What are you up to Keiko?" Keiko smiled evilly.

"Hanaki’s the navigator… she can go out and look for a local landmark."

Hanaki stuck out her tongue at Keiko and turned her attention to the road, something small, cute and furry dashed across the road, seemingly about to become another road kill statistic.

"GAH!" Cried Hanaki as she grabbed the wheel and sent the van swerving off the road.

Had it been a different point on the road or a slightly dryer day, this would have resulted in explosive death for all eight of the van’s occupants. Fortunately, the day had been consistently wet and there actually was a small ditch by the road, so there was no noise of metal scraping on tarmac and the doom laden sound of a spreading puddle of inflammable petrol just before the really loud final noise. Instead there was the squeak of balding tyres against wet tarmac and a small squelchy sort of noise as the van left the road, tipped over onto it’s side and slid to a halt. The van lay there for a moment, and completely failed to explode spectacularly.

"This is all your fault."

The Do-Gooders World tour

This part by Eslington. <>

    Original Do-Gooders concept by Stefan Gagne, 1998

Episode one of this Omake Series:

Lost and alone in California.

"No it isn’t, if anything it’s Becky’s fault."

The occupants of the van immediately began arguing, using techniques varying from logical reasoning, through witty insults and sarcasm, and at the other end of the scale, the classic sticking of the fingers in the ears and shouting "I CAN’T HEAR YOU! LALALA!" The only two that weren’t arguing were the bishounen driver, who was trying without success to push the door on the new ceiling open and another Hanaki clone, who had been gagged an bound after one to many long winded attempt at giving directions. The clone shook her head; the crash had loosened the gag sufficiently for her to speak, to the dismay of all present.

"Oh hello! I suppose you lot are wondering what me and the crew are doing in a ditch thousands of miles from home arguing over who’s to blame." Tejina sweatdropped, her new sister was being crazy again.

"Ayame, who are you talking to?"



"Them, out there." Everyone present facefaulted, bar Hanaki.

"Han, who does she keep talking to?"



"Them, out there." At this point, even the driver was almost on the point of sweatdropping. Ayame smiled and continued talking to her unseen friends.

"Well anyway, it all started last week when the spring term ended. Becky had managed to get us some gigs…"

Using her exposition powers, Ayame reached into the very fabric of reality, making the scene go all shimmery. The shimmering lifted to reveal the Naoko Family’s basement. All those present in the van were also present in the subterranean practice room.

"…so I posted a few MP3s of our songs on the net a week ago and now we’ve got all sorts of offers from people all over the world!"

"You don’t mean…" Tejina gasped.

"A world tour!" Everyone in the room gasped, bar Matsuro. Tejina managed to regain control of her vocal cords.

"Becky… you… you… you…"

"Genius? Star? Beauty?"

"Idiot! How am I going to explain this sudden holiday to my parents?"

"I thought of that, I asked some of my contacts about that and they came up with this nifty little list of explanations." Tejina looked over the list, her expression gradually souring.

"Becky! Half these explanations are totally loony!"

"But the other half are okay aren’t they?"

"I suppose… But what about every one else’s parents?" Becky grinned.

"I can fake some field trip letters, What could po- Er… No problems."


Getting permission to leave the country was actually quite easy for all concerned.


"Kireiko… Did you forge this letter?"

"No" answered Kireiko, truthfully.

"Hmm…" Kireiko’s father’s demon hunter instincts nagged at him.

[You’ll be unleashing a half-oni on the world, think of the horrible events that may happen!] The demon hunter instincts then came into a head on collision with the cost accountant instincts.

[If he’s out of the country, you won't have to feed him for two weeks.]

[What if he runs out of odufa shirts?]

[He can sew new odufa… onto shirts he’s bought with his own money.]

[Think of the havoc he’ll wreak on the people of the earth!]

[Think of the havoc he won't wreak on your neighbours… who know where you live.]

[At least think of the cost of transporting a haf-oni…]

"Who’s paying for this?"

"Be- The school."

[The choice… Is yours.]

"Ok Kireiko, its time you saw more of the world… Besides, you’ll probably fit in better in the US than here."

"Thanks Dad, can I borrow some money?"



"Hmm… So you’ll be travelling across the world then…"

"Yes dad."

Villyn scratched his chin, deep in thought [Should I really let my precious Aki-chan out into the big dangerous world? At her age? But then she is growing up so fast, any day now she’ll be double-crossing me for a square jawed hero in my moment of glory. Besides, there may be an advantage…]

"Aki, I have thought long and hard about this… and I have decided to let you go, on one condition." Aki sighed; the problem was about to arrive.

"Which is?"

"Bring back lots of photographs for your dad." Aki blinked, her father was being unusually sentimental.

"That's it?"

"Yes… With pictures of the military placements of the world, I shall be able to strike at the heart of the world's armed forces! After the obliteration of resistance, I SHALL RULE THE WORLD! BWA-HAHAHAHAHA!" Aki nodded, already planning what to say about her pictures when she got back…

[As you can see, there are no naval bases on this strip of beach here, so you probably shouldn't bother attacking there. And there are no missile silos in this picture-esque mountain range…]

It would be nice to get out of the house for a while, away from all these maniacs.

"But for your safety I want you to take the Quake Camper and the Blank Psychic with you."

[Uh-oh] thought Aki [Time for some quick thinking…]

"But dad, Be- the school wont pay for them."

"Pah! The school shall not stand in my way, I shall send my faithful minions on my own money!"

"I think the school bought all the seats for the flight to San Francisco."

"Then I shall send them on another flight."

[Oh no] thought Aki [This is going to get difficult]

"I think it’s the only flight for the next few weeks." Aki hoped that her father would fall for it. He did, however…

"Well… This letter says you’ll be stopping in Los Angeles. They can meet you there."

Aki sighed and gave up. At least the Camper was reasonably sane, though how he’d react to being on a fault line…



"Yes Keiko?"

"I'm going on a trip around the world with some friends. I'll be back in two weeks."

"That's nice dear." Said Keiko's mother.

"I'll be going to far away and exotic locations…"

"Be sure to wrap up warm dear." Said her Father, expending a lot more attention on a newspaper ad.

"Where thieves, thugs and murders lurk around every corner, waiting to strike at an innocent such as myself."

"Be back by eleven then."

Keiko gritted her teeth in anger, ancient magics began to curl around her hands in tendrils of power, and she instinctively mumbled the spell of hideous agony… she’d get them to pay attention. The energy reached a boiling point of sorts and she started on the last six words of the ancient spell.

"Jonea… Kazes… Latai… Magi… Necromi… Obliv-"


"Oh good, my burrito’s done." Said Keiko’s father, getting up to go to the microwave.

Keiko uttered a curse that’d make demons blush; the infernal machine had broken her concentration.

"Keiko, don’t say things like that, people’ll complain."

Keiko stormed out of the room. If they were really worried about when she got home, she’d just leave her Naga plushie seated at the desk in her room and hope they didn’t notice.

No, on second thoughts, hope would be too much effort when it was a practical certainty.


Matsuro had been meaning to talk to his mother about travelling the world, not that he really needed her permission, but he just wanted to make sure that she wouldn’t annoy him if he was doing something important.

He hadn’t had any visions on the way home, even as he entered the apartment complex his mother completely failed to suddenly appear and tell him about chicks and eggs. He looked around the foyer. No singing oxen or weird pixies, he would have been grateful, but now was not the time for absence. He sighed and pressed the lift call button.

The lift doors opened, thick red blood flooded out, engulfing Matsuro in the warm liquid.

[Ah good] thought Matsuro as he stepped in. The elevator started moving of it’s own accord, stopping at floor 13 to let in his mother, who was dragging a crucifix. Matsuro nodded at her as he pressed the button for floor 19. His mother began to speak, while crying tears of blue blood.

"Matsuro… you must go to California."

"Hi mother, I know, I must find and we- what?"

"Well obviously you must, that’s where your first concert is isn’t it?"

Matsuro would have facefaulted, but he was too cool to do so.

"Uh… What happened to going to Tokyo?"

"Well, travelling the world is a big event in your life, as it were, another turning point."

[A fork stuck in the road.] thought Matsuro, a thought he dismissed as his mother continued.

"Time’s taken you by the wrist, it’s directing you where to go."

[Oh no… This better not be another part of my destiny.]

"So, Matsuro, just make the best of this test."


"You shouldn’t ask that, it’s not a question, but a lesson learnt in time."

Matsuro sighed. [Why must destiny be so unpredictable?]

"In the end, you’ll see it’s right. Anyway… I hope you have a nice time."

His mother faded as the lift door opened. Matsuro stepped out and walked down the corridor to apartment ninety-nine. At least his mother had gone. [Good riddance] he thought as he opened the door to his tiny apartment and stepped into the Vallhallic hall.

"What ho!" shouted Balin from the table, where he was getting drunk with Dalin.

"Hi Balin. I’ll be leaving the country for a couple of weeks." Dalin lifted his head from the table.

"Really? Then you won't need the apartment for a while will you?"

"No… why do you ask?" Asked Matsuro suspiciously.

"Well we were counting on having a big p-" began Dalin before Balin clamped his hand over the dwarf’s mouth.

"Shh! You’ll blow it… He said uh… we wanted a big p… p… piece of that chocolate cake that’s in the fridge." Balin smiled widely as Matsuro’s expression darkened.

"You were going to say party weren’t you?" Balin sighed.

"Well yes… but it was only going to be a small one…"

"Didn’t Dalin say big?" Dalin smiled.

"Yeah! And I’ve got this really cool lass coming." Dalin brought a photograph out of his wallet and offered it to Matsuro.

"Good looking eh? She’s got beautiful hair hasn’t she?" Matsuro took a look at the treasured Polaroid.

"Er, yes…" agreed Matsuro handing the picture back.

"Best groomed beard in all of Scandinavia." Sighed Dalin. Balin looked imploringly at Matsuro.

"Oh go on… Tell you what. We’ll install a swimming pool in this place for you if we can have the party here." Matsuro looked sceptically at him.

"How are you going to fit a swimming pool in here?"

"This hall used to be a sixteen metre square apartment, and you ask me how we’re going to fit a swimming pool in here? Leave it up to us and we’ll have the place fixed up in time for the water volley ball match on the third day of the party."

Matsuro caught himself trying to imagine a dwarvern game of water volleyball and stopped himself. On one hand, he would have loads of dwarves having a party in his home… on the other, he’d get a swimming pool… On a much more significant hand, if he didn’t give his permission, the dwarves would probably just have one anyway.

"I guess it would be ok…" Balin’s small body only made the grin look bigger.

"Great!" Balin dashed over to phone, and dialled a sixteen-figure number, presumably to another country.

"Hello? … Bjorn? … Yeah, turns out the party's on after all, bring literally everyone… Yeah, your right, we really shouldn't invite that twit Rolf… Uh-huh, that reminds me, bring over your tools, were building a swimming pool… For the water volley ball match of course… Ok, and could you see about bringing some plastic sheeting as well?… Because the apartment's not mine and the owner won't take to kindly to having blood on the carpet, or the walls, or the ceiling for that matter… Ok, and remember, it's a Bring Yer Own Barrel situation… See ye on Saturday then." As Balin put down the phone, Matsuro fixed him with a threatening stare.

"Where were you calling to?" He asked, his eyes alight with anger.

"Scandinavia, why?

"You're paying for the call."

And for the first time since he had met Keiko, Balin experienced a moment of extreme terror.


The Nakao parents were known to have a mildly unco-operative attitude to having any of their children going off on holidays across the world, so Becky's school trip idea would inevitably fail. Fortunately the three sisters were intelligent enough to plan a method to gain the agreement of their parents.

Mr & Mrs Nakao were watching the eight o'clock news in the living room when Hanaki walked in and turned off the television. Standing in front of the screen, she faced her adoptive parents and began to speak.

"Mother, Father. Me and my sisters have been asked to go on a world tour for the next two weeks to further promote our band, and we felt we should tell you about it."

Mrs Nakao was about to scream out a sentence to the effect of "YOU'RE WHAT?!!!" before Hanaki started speaking again.

"Before you forbid us to leave, I merely ask you to listen calmly to this argument formulated by Ayame."

Ayame and Tejina entered from opposite sides of the room, assuming positions on either side of Hanaki, who then walked around to the back of the couch, behind the Nakaos. Tejina began to speak in a dramatic tone.

"To save humanity from elimination!"

"To visit at least one other nation!" Said Ayame, before Tej said.

"To sing our songs of love!"

"To get them into the charts above!"



"The Do-gooder must leave Japan on our mission of delight!"

"So let us go…"

"You know it's right!"

The Nakaos sat in stunned silence before Hanaki leaned over the shoulders of her legal guardians to speak directly into their ears.

"Now either you let us leave the country for two weeks, or Ayame will use her more persuasive argument, which lasts a full three hours and forty seven minutes."

Needless to say, resistance was minimal.


By 1 PM, Saturday, the Do-gooders (and Aki and Keiko) were on an aeroplane, heading at Mach 0.75 towards San Francisco. Villyn's minions had already left for Los Angeles (after a six hour delay as Security searched the Camper's pack for whatever kept setting off the metal detector, which eventually turned out to be a frying pan.) and the going looked good. Keiko leaned to take a look out the window as the city passed under them.

"Hey Matsuro! I can see you apartment from up here!"

"How can you tell it’s mine?"

"What other apartment complex has a vallhallic hall sticking out the nineteenth floor?"

Matsuro scrambled across Keiko’s lap to look out the window. He couldn’t see his building anymore.

"Aw... you just missed it." Keiko grinned as Matsuro realised he was sitting on her lap. She concentrated and one of her image enhancing spells increased in power. She looked into his eyes and, in the orchestra of his mind, Matsuro’s string section began that neat little bit of music that always plays at moments of romantic realisation. He leaned over to kiss her on the lips…

"Excuse me, but the "Seatbelt" light is still on, please return to your seat." Said the stewardess. Keiko pointed a finger at her, setting her hair alight. The stewardess dashed off into the cockpit, possibly in search of an extinguisher for her hair.

"Now…" said Keiko "Where were we?" Matsuro’s string section began again…

But in the cockpit, the stewardess had put out her hair and had made a deal with the pilot. She watched the bishounen and leather clad lovers, waiting for the right moment to strike.

"Wait for it… wait for it… NOW!"

The plane lurched violently; Matsuro lurched from Keiko’s lap and flew across the aisle, knocked his head on the overhead luggage compartment and fell, unconscious, into Kireiko’s lap. The intercom buzzed.

"We apologise for that, we seem to be experiencing some turbulence, if the gentleman in the school uniform would care to return to his seat, we may continue with a little less…"

Kireiko lifted up the unconscious body of the prone drummer and dropped it down into his seat. Keiko sighed as she buckled Matsuro up. [He’s cute when he’s unconscious.] She thought.

Keiko called over one of the friendlier stewards and ordered a cup of coffee.


About two hours later, the plane landed and the jet lagged band members stepped off the plane and onto the tarmac of one of San Francisco’s many airports. As the Do-Gooders (and associates) stepped off the plane one of the Do-Gooders noticed one of the associates grinning even more evilly than she normally did.

"Keiko…" Began Hanaki. "If I ask you why you’re grinning evilly will I be forced to stop you on moral grounds." Keiko’s grin went up the evil scale a little bit more.

"Well let’s just say… I gave that impolite stewardess a bit of a curse!"

"Oh no… It won’t kill her will it?" Han covered her ears as Keiko began her laugh.

"OOOH-HOHOHOHO!!!!! No, but the irate bitch shall learn not to injure the boyfriend of KEIKO! THE… THE… ER… THE SORCERESS!" Han sweatdropped as the group picked up their luggage.


The theft of the stewardess’ car engine later that day, and the subsequent rain shower that dogged her return home had more to do with poetic justice then Keiko’s curse. However, Keiko’s magic did cause the stewardess’s winning lottery ticket to spontaneously combust, right before her eyes as she watched the draw that Saturday. This only goes to show that you shouldn’t mess with the affairs of sorceresses, for they are subtle and will burn your lottery tickets.


One thing the band unanimously agreed on was the fact that without a funky road rippin’ babe magnet style set of wheels, they weren’t going anywhere. Well, the funky road rippin’ babe magnet style part wasn’t unanimous but the bit about the set of wheels was. So this was why the Do-Gooders were assembled in Honest Jack’s Second hand automobile emporium.

Jack grinned in glee, any day now the liquidators would be arriving and he really needed some money to take so he could run with it. He stepped up to the blue haired girl that seemed to be leading the group.

"Good morning young lady, how can I supply your transit needs?" To which Tejina replied:

"[What did you say? Do you speak Japanese?]" Jack stared blankly at her.

"Do any of you kids speak English?" Becky nodded.

"Yes, but we’d prefer it if we dealt with someone who spoke Japanese."

Ayame pushed her way to the front of the group and posed dramatically.

"Ah! Truly we are in a state that requires my skill with words! Fear not fellow Do-Gooders, for I shall aid you with my abilities!" Tejina sighed.

"Does anyone else have a feeling of impending doom?"

"My fellow friends, I shall improve our situation by breaking down the walls of incomprehension and cultural differences by bestowing upon you all the gift of mild telepathic linguistic communication, to aid our acquirement of vehicular transportation or the odyssey that awaits us, in this great world of ours!"

A strange feeling tingled through the brains of all the Do-Gooders and associates. Aki turned to Hanaki.

"How does your moth- er sis- er… Ayame cope with such long sentences?" Hanaki shrugged.

"Circular breathing?" Jack looked back at Tejina, having been distracted by the display of vocal talent.

"Er, I don’t suppose you understand me?"

"Well yes. We ne-" Tejina stopped, she had actually understood that last question, even though she had heard it as English. She looked at Ayame, who winked at her and smiled, a twinkle of light glinting on her teeth.

"So, you can understand me now?"

"Yes, shall I show you around?"

Everyone looked at each other, made a collective shrug and followed Jack into the showroom.

There was a basic selection of about a dozen cars before they came to the second last one, which was where Kireiko fell in love.

"My god!" He gasped. "It’s perfect!"

The car was a red ’68 Chevrolet, the paintwork glinted like it was only yesterday that it rolled off the production line. Kireiko caressed the bodywork, grinning like an idiot.

"She’s beautiful…" he sighed, stepping back. Becky facefaulted.

"You’re talking as though it was a girl Kireiko. You’re nuts!" Hanaki looked over at the car.

"Actually, I think car’s a feminine noun… like "la automobile" in French…" Aki stared at the Chevvy, noticing something amiss.

"Well, Mister Jack, could you explain why her tape deck has suddenly begun playing old rock music for no good reason?"

"It’s a feature. Er… you’ve set the preliminary alarm off. If you actually try to drive off with it then it’ll start playing Hanson." Everyone shuddered at the thought, except Kireiko, who was too busy running his fingers over the personalised licence plate at the back.

"Caroline… Such a beautiful name for this glorious machine." Hanaki facefaulted, for a soon to be explained reason.

"Jack, why did the engine rev when Kireiko stroked the bumper just then?"

"Er… It’s like a… It’s sort of like an auto start for the car."

"You’re lying aren’t you? This car’s possessed or something isn’t it?"

Jack sighed.

"Well yes, but look! If you scratch the paintwork like this…" Said Jack, demonstrating with his car keys on the unmarked chrome. "And look! It heals up! Just like- GLURK!"

"You bastard!" Shouted Kireiko, jumping up and down on Jack’s ribs. "How dare you harm such a fragile creature." Tejina pulled the enraged half-oni off the bruised car dealer.

"Stop doing that! It’ll really cripple our world tour if our guitarist is arrested before our first concert." Keiko prodded the injured tradesman with her foot.

"Er, are you ok?" Jack pulled himself up, despite his injuries, as you can recover from virtually anything short of total evisceration when you’re a named manga character… with the possible exception of dark generals.

"Uh… Sure… Now my good man, are you interested in buying this fine machine?" Hanaki ran her hand over the bonnet, a mildly suspicious expression on her face.

"If this machine is so fine… The why did anyone sell it?" Jack shrugged.

"I dunno, I just found it at a scrap yard a few years ago. So anyway, are you going to buy it?"

"Yes." Answered Kireiko, looking up and looking very serious.

"Then it’ll be two thousand dollars, thank you very much." Tejina sighed.

"I’m sorry Kireiko, we only have one thousand." Kireiko sighed.

"Ah well, I suppose it was too good to be true…" He leaned down and kissed the red chrome. "I shall make it my aim in life, to one day return and reclaim this car, this is my promise and I shall fulfil it before I die."

Everyone sweatdropped.

"He’s really hung up on that car isn’t he?" Rhetoricalised Aki, she then looked at Ayame "Is this a side affect of your abilities?"

"Most definitely not my dear friend Aki Villyn!" Answered Ayame, using nineteen times more letters then was strictly necessary for a standard negative response, though the situation is probably different in Japanese, but the situation being as it was, that is, Ayame, Tejina, Hanaki, Matsuro, Kireiko, Becky, Aki and Keiko are all talking in such a way that Fanfic readers can understand them and so are speaking in the almost universally recognised universal language of English and this would be correct if this is ever dubbed or subtitled, that is, if this ever becomes an anime, which is not impossible considering the amazingly large variety of animation programs available…

Uh, anyway, the next vehicle available was a large green van, with colourful flowers pained on the side. Tejina opened the back of the van.

"Hmm… quite spacious… though I don’t like the flowers on the side."

"Never mind, we can just tie a banner on the side or something." Reasoned Hanaki. Kireiko shook his head.

"Nah, you can't polish a turd like this." Tejina tuned to Jack.

"Where did you get this then?"

"Oh I bought it off some passing weirdo, I think he said his name was… scruffy or something, I cant really remember… Anyway it's a mere five hundred dollars for this reliable old thingy and I'll throw in a free gallon of gas." Keiko leaned out the front window of the ageing vehicle.

"We'll give you one hundred." Had Jack been drinking something when Keiko said that he would have sat it out in surprise, he wasn't so he resorted to having a facefault that could level a small town.

"WHAT?!!!!! At five hundred I'm practically slashing my own wrists as it is!" Keiko grinned.

"Ayame, bargain with the man."

From that day forth, Jack had a strange and unshakeable fear of the voice of anyone with green hair. Fortunately as the green hair gene is not a common one this did not bother him too much.


The scene shimmered again and refocused on the fuku'd verbosifyer.

"And so here we are, on the road to Los Angeles, lost and alone in California." Ayame looked up from whoever she was looking at. By now, the Do-Gooders had succeeded in opening the back of the van and had all left to stand aside the road in search of assistance. Outside, the silhouettes of seven of the heroes were visible against the deep purple of the night. Audible above the drumming of the rain and the occasional rumble of thunder, was the voice of Tejina.

"Han, how could you possibly confuse this map of what is obviously New Mexico, with one of California?"

"But when I bought it I was assured it was a map of California."

"Where did you buy it?"

"I got it second hand off some bloke with an umbrella at the airport." This left nothing much to talk about for a while until Matsuro noticed something.

"It's stopped." He said.

"What has?" Asked Kireiko.

"The talking, Ayame's finally stopped talking." Instead of the whoops and cheers this would normally bring, there was another muted pause. Aki spoke up.

"I wonder if she's snapped out of this whole craziness thing."

"Someone will have to check…" noted Becky. This produced a sort of Captain Oates situation. Which Keiko quickly solved.

"I vote Kireiko goes. All in favour?"




"’Got my vote."


"All opposed?"

"No way!"

"Tough luck Oni-boy, get down there!" Keiko kicked Kireiko down into the ditch, where he landed on his feet. He creeped slowly over to the opening, peering into it in the same way that an action hero who has just slain a giant robot checks for that it suddenly isn’t going to lurch back to life and strangle him to death.

"Hello fellow crusader Kireiko! Would you remove my bonds so I may re-join you and my fellow friends?" called Ayame. Kireiko sighed, untied and then re-unified Ayame with their friends.

"I still blame you for this Han." Blamed Keiko.

"Things could be worse." Said Han.

"Worse? We’re lost with nowhere to stay for the night. What’re we going to do?"

As if fulfilling some dramatic necessity, a sudden flash of lightening illuminated a large, ominous mansion atop a hill, conveniently within walking distance. Everyone sweatdropped in unison, then Tejina spoke

"Well, there’s at least one answer…" Keiko smiled, the house looked quite gothic… offering the possibility of cool architecture.

"C’mon everyone. It’s time I got outta these wet leathers and into a nice warm bed."

The Do-Gooders and companions began their trudge up to the mansion.


Meanwhile, in an airport lounge in Los Angeles…

"Excuse me sir, but I really must ask you to move your tent."

"For the last time, I’m not getting out until Aki-sama arrives or there’s a major breakthrough in earthquake prevention!"


All this and more next time on The Do-Gooders World Tour!

Authors notes:

C&C desired, please?

WAI! This was fun to write! I’ll probably be writing the next part, though I plan on having other writers from the DGML write episodes later on. So stay tuned!

A big "Ta mate!" to the folks on the Do-Gooders mailing list who at least partially inspired this and a slightly bigger "Cor blimey guvner, you’ve been a great help!" to the pre-reader for this omake, Yasha, whose scathing critique over petty little details greatly improved the readability of this episode.