When we last left our heroic team, the Do-Gooders had just demolished Hello Cthulu (aka Brother Clarence of the Cult of Cthulu, local #39924-91), and four out of five of Villyn’s minions in a music store. Aki has been awakened by a vision of herself and been told she must save the Icon of Rapturous Delight and the Emblem of Delightful Rapture... DO-GOODERS Original Concept by Stefan Gagne Episode 12 - Late Nights! Does anyone sleep in this town? by C. DeBartolo ---------------------------------------------------------- "NYA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" The remainder of Villyn’s henchmen (yes, all one of him) threw back his head and laughed disturbingly. For some reason, best known only to Villyn himself, the Blank Psychic (as he had been called) was garbed in a fencing outfit -- padded white body-suit, mesh mask and all. Behind him, Nemesis Serendipity Villyn was making a beeline for the back door to the music shop. "Oh, shut up!" Becky punched the Blank Psychic in the face-mask... and slumped to the floor. The henchman just stood there and continued to giggle as the back door swung shut behind Villyn. "Who’d have thought he’d actually find a henchman that could actually do something?" Matsuro mused. Tejina glared at her coolly bishounen bandmate. "That’s not funny, she could have brain damage now, or something! And how are we supposed to get this guy without turning into human vegetables?" In answer, Kireiko grabbed a piano and threw it at the tittering maniac. CRUNCH! The giggling ceased. "Well, so much for the Blank Page. Waste of a piano, though." Matsuro and Tejina face-faulted. * * * * * "Are you sure about this?" Aki looked at the building doubtfully. "Of course I’m sure, I’m a highly-specific visionary spirit-guide, here for the express purpose of helping you find the answers to your questions so that you may find the Icon of Rapturous Delight and the Emblem of Delightful Rapture!" The vision-Aki placed her hands on her hips and scowled at the real-Aki. "I’m not doing this for my psychic health here!" "But it’s a pet shop!" The vision that looked exactly like Aki shrugged. "That's not my fault.. I just take you where you need to go. Complain to the Department of Mystical Destinies if you want to. Just be sure to check the pet shop first." The vision faded out slowly, leaving one hand waving good-bye for several seconds after the rest of it disappeared. "Department of Mystical Destinies?" Aki muttered. Sighing, she tried the door to the pet shop. It swung open in silence, releasing the thick odor of many mammals in an enclosed space. Grumbling about unhelpful visions and destiny, Aki tip-toed inside. The pet shop was very dark, and filled with the sounds of animals chirping, growling, or purring in their sleep. "That idiot vision never even told me what to look for," Aki groused. "At last! You have arrived!" Aki started in surprise. The faint voice seemed to be coming from her left. She followed as it began to speak again. "Oh, I’ve waited so long for you to be reborn again! I thought it would be soon, when Sailor Delight first appeared... but she became quiescent for many years, crushing my poor dreams. And then, only a week ago, I sensed she had become reawakened! And Sailor Rapture soon after! Oh, it warmed my poor heart!" Aki found the source of the oddly warbling voice--and stared. "You’ve got to be kidding me!" The canary eyed her for a long moment. "What were you expecting, a goldfish?" it chirped. * * * * * In the depths of the sewer sanctum of the Cult of Cthulu, local #39924-91, Brother Maynard twitched and gibbered as arcane light flickered under his skin disturbingly. Some time after he had created Hello Cthulu from Brother Clarence (he shuddered at the memory of the creature and the insipidly cute songs they had all sung in its honor) he had returned to his senses. He could now feel the eldritch spirit that housed itself in his body. Brother Maynard had the unpleasant notion that whatever-it-was inside him was snacking on his soul. But what could he do about? Red light flared in his eyes like a roman candle. The Cimmerian spectre was in control once more, alerted by the destruction of Hello Cthulu. The remaining Cthulu cultists shuddered in terror. "He’s baaack." Brother Taro murmured in a child-like voice. Brother Knoll smacked him. "hEllO cthUlhU nUmbER oNE hAs FaLlen," what was once Brother Maynard hissed. The cultists gasped in horror, slightly tinged with relief. "WE haVe NoT lOst yET!!" A hand extended from Maynard’s sleeve. It now appeared to have a few too many joints in it to qualify for being human, as well as being in dire need of a manicurist with pruning shears. Bolts of esoteric power shot from Maynard’s fingertips, enveloping five cultists in their own energy cocoons. Several scream- filled minutes later, the cocoons ruptured, freeing five identical Hello Cthuluites. The rest of the cultists gibbered. "hAhaAhAhHahAA!! i sHAll cReATe aN arMy of hEllO cthUlhUs!!! aNd thEy sHalL sInG thE hAPpy cthUlU jOy joY fUn sOnG!!!!" The shell of Brother Maynard giggled as the Cthuluists whimpered in horror. * * * * * "Hellooo? Becky? Can you hear me?" Tejina waved a hand in front of Sailor Rapture’s face. No reaction. "We could try hitting her on the head," Kireiko offered. "Somehow, I don’t think that will help," Matsuro said acidly. "What would you know about it pretty-boy?! I don’t hear you getting any helpful ideas!" "Like throwing a piano?" "It worked!" "Oh, not again," Tejina groaned. If they kept arguing like this, she was going to start getting Becky’s migraine. She slipped off to another part of the music store. "Listen, oni-breath-- hey, where’d Tejina go?" "What?" Kireiko turned around. "She wouldn’t have just left..." "Unless someone kidnapped her," Matsuro said grimly. The two band-members gave this thought due consideration, then turned to face one another. "This is all your fault!" they shouted. "Oh, will you two grow up?" Tejina complained, as she emerged from between a stack of kettle drums and dusty tubas. "I was just seeing if this place had a bathroom." She flourished a glass of water triumphantly, then splashed it into Becky’s face. "Gah! Forty-two! Napoleon! Chrysanthemums!" Becky lurched bolt upright, gasping. "Are you all right?" Tejina asked. Becky groaned and clutched her head. "I didn’t think it was possible -- my headache just got worse!" "Well, it sounds like she’s back to normal. Normal for her, anyway," Matsuro added, sotto voice. He glanced at his watch, and winced. "Four-thirty a.m. So much for sleep." They all groaned. * * * * * Tokyo, a karaoke bar. It doesn't really matter which particular one, just as long as it's a refuge for suits after a long day working for the company. Currently, a full score of businessmen in suits are tossing back hot sake and exchanging boasts and lewd jokes. They come in two varieties: A) those suited in gray, and B) those garbed in black. Then there was a trio of drinkers that fell firmly in category C. "Wh--What wash th’ nexsht word?" Dalin swayed in his seat. It had been a long... however long it was. Ever since those Valkyries had tossed him and his brother through the window of the Friar's Privy (or had it been the Wench and Grog?) the two dwarves had been guzzling drinks on the mournful albino's tab in a list of taverns, bars, and pubs longer than the Midgard Serpent. "Gold?" suggested Balin, desperately trying to focus through a haze of alcohol fumes. "Baa baa baa baaaa..." their albino companion intoned solemnly as he slid to the floor. His black sword seemed to be humming along with the melody. It might've had something to do with that greenish drink Balin had poured on it earlier... they had all tried to forget the way the blade had slurped the liquid away. The bartender kept a watchful eye on them. He had no complaints. However weird they might appear, they overpaid for their drinks with gold. Then someone kicked down the door. "Oh, bloody hell, not again." Dalin buried his face in his hands. The karaoke bar rapidly became crowded with Jutlandic womanhood and the required armored brassieres. The valkyries were a bit dented, and several still had the remains of their steeds splattered here and there on their boots. This did not prevent them from looking liable to take on a Sherman tank and win. "You there! Little puny dwarf-things!" The lead Valkyrie stomped over to their table, incidentally hurling a protesting salaryman through the front window. "We told you everything we knew about the sword," Balin squeaked. A couple of the Valkyries had discovered the karaoke machine, and were belting out a rendition of "Mein Inneres Geht Auf," to be followed by "Ich Überlebe." The lead Valkyrie eyed the two dwarves. "This is not enough! You must be making restitution! You will retrieve the two missing Swords of Duality, or you will be collecting enough Asgard Crispies boxtops to send for a new set! We give you one week, then we set you to eating the yucky cereal!" Dragging her cohorts forcibly off the stage, the Valkyries defenestrated several businessmen for the hell of it as they and left. Maeda, current leader of the Tokyo Legitimate Businessman's Club, exhibited nod #7235, which indicated that he wanted two of his goons to follow the dwarves in the corner. Very interesting, he thought, those were the same women that burst in on the meeting that day. Perhaps their cohorts will lead my men to those... Do-Gooders. He smiled cruelly, as flickers of Darkverse energy coruscated in his shadow. * * * * * "I can’t believe I walked halfway across town following a hallucinatory vision at three am just to rescue a freaking canary!" Aki muttered as she stomped back home. She glared sideways at the offending creature. "And if you even think of messing up my shirt, you’re going to end your life as a cat toy!" "But you don’t understand, I am the only one who can guide you to the Icon and the Emblem! You are the one predestined to find them." "This isn’t going to involve me in a fuku, is it?" * * * * * "Ah-ahehe-hee-hoo *giggle*" Somehow Keiko sensed her evil laugh still wasn’t up to par. She chewed her black fingernails, deep in thought. She had finally figured out the translation for the missing ingredient to the spell that would give her superpowers -- the Blood of a Darkverse creature! True, she had no idea what exactly a Darkverse creature was, but she had a plan to deal with that. All she had to do was take a typical demon-summoning spell and change the parameters to indicate a denizen of the ‘Darkverse’ instead. After removing the last of the kiwi fruit from her room, she was finally ready to try and summon a being from the Darkverse. She had scrawled the unholy pentagram in lipstick (she figured the shade Blood Red was close enough to blood for her purposes), and lit the black and red candles (pre-lit and carefully treated to be appropriately drippy and creepy looking). She even had a cleaver (with mystic sigils carefully painted on the blade with her black nail polish) and a bucket for the creature’s blood. She figured that this might get a little messy, so the interior of her pentagram now sported a plastic drop cloth. Keiko chanted the last words of binding and summoning. A flare of anti-light roiled in the room, and after-images twisted into disturbing shapes. After a long moment, the darkness brightened a bit. She took a firmer grip on her cleaver and peered at the creature within the pentagram. It was purple. It was tall. It looked like a large reptile with flannel hot-glued to its skin. It was grinning. "I hope it has blood in it," she muttered. ---------------------------------------------------------- WILL THE DO-GOODERS SKIP SCHOOL TO GET SOME SHUTEYE? WILL AKI BECOME SAILOR JOY AND WEAR A TINY FUKU, OR WILL SHE SETTLE FOR STRANGLING THE CANARY? WILL THE ICON AND EMBLEM EVER SHOW UP? WILL BECKY’S HEADACHE EVER GET CURED? WILL KEIKO KILL BARNEY FOR HIS DARKVERSE BLOOD? WILL ANYONE EVER BOTHER WITH ELRIC AND THE DWARVES AGAIN? IS MAEDA REALLY ESJIE, THE DARK GENERAL OF THE DARKVERSE? WILL I EVER STOP TYPING QUESTIONS? WILL TEJINA EVER FIGURE OUT WHY MATSURO AND KIREIKO ARE ALWAYS FIGHTING? WILL AKI SUE THE DEPARTMENT OF MYSTICAL DESTINIES? WILL BECKY EVER GET TO SHOW OFF HER SKILL WITH A BASS GUITAR? AND WHAT HAPPENED WITH DAISY AND HER GRANDKIDS, ANYWAY? AND JUST WHERE DID 'ROVER' THE MYSTICAL DOG-COMPANION RUN OFF TO? FEW IF ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED IN THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF DO-GOODERS! Do-Gooders created 1998 by Stefan Gagne. AUTHOR'S NOTES: Episode 12 composed entirely on caffeine and sugar by C. L. DeBartolo (also known as GinaCat or Yasha). Big thanks go to Dragon Mom and Ilana H. who proofread the whole shebang. (excepting parts of the karaoke bar scene with Elric and the dwarves, which I added at the last minute because I had a Better Idea) INSERT PLUG HERE: Check out my original manga Grathame, the slowly devloping series Round Trip to Nowhere and loads of original artwork at http://members.tripod.com/ryuuyasha/index.html (Yasha's Arcanum).