DO-GOODERS The Proactive Teen Superhero Team With No X Anywhere In Their Title A FanArt HQ / Spoof Chase ImproFanfic http://pixelscapes.com/improfanfic Episode Twenty-four: Attack! Chaos and revelations! by John Evans (jevans@datablast.net) Do-Gooders started by Stefan Gagne ===== In the beginning... ...the universe was created. This made a lot of people very unhappy and has been widely regarded as a bad move. Some time passed. Then, a man named Twoflower (among other things) decided it might be fun to have a story that stole from a bunch of Japanese (and sometimes British) authors. Not only that, it would be cool if he could get other people to sign up and write it for him, so he wouldn't have to. This is his story. ...Well, not *his* story, the story he *started*. ...You know what I mean. ===== WHEN WE LAST SAW OUR HEROES... ...not much was happening. In fact, it was the dawn of a new day, holding the promise of new joys and new...hell, I can't write like a morning person. The point is, not much was going on. All our heroes were just sort of getting ready to go to school, really. ...Want more detail, read the other parts. ===== Aki not-quite-stomped down the stairs, preoccupied with her dreams of the night before. She had finished her preparations for school on autopilot; all that was left was breakfast, and she could be off. As might be expected, she was thinking about finally transforming into Sailor Joy. Somehow, she just didn't see herself as a heroine fighting for love and justice. She just wanted to be a normal, ordinary girl...that was all she'd ever *really* wanted...a normal girl, with a normal father...and maybe even a normal mother... Aki entered the kitchen and found the Queen preparing breakfast. She turned to Aki and smiled. "Good morning, Aki-chan! I'm just getting some rice and pickles ready for breakfast...does that sound good?" "Hm?...Sure, Charity-san." Aki sat down at the kitchen table and turned the thought of Sailor Joy over in her head uneasily, like a piece of bread she was trying to toast with a hair dryer...No matter how she turned it or fiddled with it, she could tell it was just going to stay there, soft and pale... Villyn clumped down the stairs. "Ah, good morning, Aki!" he said, in a rare non-bellow. "Beautiful day, isn't it?" "I guess..." Ordinary...with ordinary parents... Villyn walked up behind the Queen and squeezed her shoulders. "And good morning to you too, Charity-chan," he rumbled softly. The Queen giggled. Aki blinked. Something was nudging against her mind, throwing her train of thought off course. She put Sailor Joy aside for a moment and looked up. Villyn was wearing his favorite Pinky and the Brain dressing gown. The Queen was clad in a light magenta nightgown that was rather sheer, but opaque enough to wear around the house, at least in the morning. Aki stared. The Queen and Villyn noticed her stare, and simultaneously blushed. "Daddy...did you...I mean...Charity-san, you spent the NIGHT here?" Aki was startled at the squeak in her voice. Villyn blushed even harder, but the Queen suddenly looked stern. "Yes, Aki-chan, I did." Then her expression softened. "Does that bother you?..." "Well, I..." Aki blinked some more. Now that she thought about it...it shouldn't have come as a surprise to her. She'd had this sort of thing in mind when she'd introduced them...hadn't she? "But...you just met!" she said lamely. The Queen sat down at the table opposite Aki. Aki tried not to stare at the nightgown's low bodice. "Aki-chan, we told you there was magic involved the trip. It was only a few days for you, but it was actually four weeks for us." She looked back at Villyn and smiled. "More than enough time to get to know each other, I think..." Villyn smiled back, and sat down next to her. "Aki...I'm sorry if this upsets you somehow. But...I mean, ever since Akemi ran off with that--that LAWYER--" He took a breath, and the Queen put her hand on his shoulder. "I mean, it's been so long, and I've felt so alone...I love you, of course, and the minions are great, but...you know, some things..." "Uh, yeah, I understand, Daddy," Aki said quickly. She looked down. "I guess...it was just a surprise, you know. I'm not sure how I feel yet." "But Aki--" "Shhh, Nemesis-chan." The Queen put her hand to Villyn's lips and smiled. "It's okay. I know your daughter loves you, and I know you love her. So... it's okay if she takes some time." She stood up. "I'll finish getting breakfast ready." Breakfast was quiet and thoughtful. Aki tried to make sense of her feelings. She had thought she had dealt with her mother leaving, long ago... but perhaps not. But she should be happy if her father was happy, right? And he certainly did look happy. And then there was the whole Sailor Joy thing to worry about... Finally, the meal was over. The Queen cleared away the dishes. After a moment, Villyn said, "Well...ah...it seems you should be leaving for school, Aki-chan." He smiled tentatively. Aki smiled back, and came around the table to give her father a hug. He patted her arm and beamed. Aki then walked over to the Queen, and leaned close to her. "Don't let him get so caught up in taking over the world that he forgets you," she murmured softly. The Queen smiled at Aki, then looked at Villyn and smiled a bit more wickedly. Aki giggled, and gave her a hug as well...then picked up her bag, and left for school. The Queen watched her, through a window. "What a fine daughter you have, Nemesis-chan..." "Yes, I'm very lucky to have her...not to mention how lucky I am to have found you." The Queen smiled, and turned to look into Villyn's eyes... "Woohoo! Go Villyn-sama!" The Queen and Villyn jumped, and spun around to find the Blank Psychic and the Bluefaced Black Shadow cheering and whistling. The Queen pulled her robe tight around her and screamed. "EEEEEEEEE! PERVERTS!" Her other hand flared with dark energy. CHBOOM! "Aaaagh!" "We're sorry OW Villyn-sama!..." ===== Sohkoh yawned. "What the hell is Esjie up to now? It's too early in the morning..." Ayesse shrugged. "He's just yankin' our chains, I bet." The two were standing in the Darkverse throne room, along with most of the other Darkverse command staff. Lessente looked like he had fallen asleep standing up, and thus didn't comment. Malaise seemed to be off in his/her own world, his/her eyes suspiciously sparkly. Vuudu was nowhere to be seen, but almost all the other Generals were in attendance. Esjie sat on the throne, a glowing green stone clutched in his left hand. His eyes shifted slowly from side to side. Finally, he blinked and sat up straighter. "Fellow Generals!" he boomed. "I have called you here to discuss our plans to take over the Earth!" "I could really use some coffee," Sohkoh muttered. "Our Barney yoma has been eliminated," Esjie continued. "However, given the previous success of the Barney Initiative, and the fact that all evidence points to the yoma's destruction being a freak accident, I've decided to reinstate the project." Muffled groans could be heard from the assembled Generals. They were quickly silenced when black energy started to play around Esjie. "I trust I can count on your cooperation in this endeavor. After all, it is what the Queen would want from us, I'm sure; that we continue her plans in her absence..." ===== In a small Tokyo cafe, Baron Stagner von Carrlson of the Kingdom of Obscurity scowled into his coffee. "And here I thought he was going to create some real chaos. Well, I guess you can't teach an old human new tricks." He spooned some sugar into the cup. ===== Esjie's eyebrow twitched. He looked off into space...and grinned. A random General stepped up. "Er, Esjie-sama...do you really want all of us to work on the Barney Initiative?" "No," Esjie replied. "I want you to invade the Earth." Most of the Generals started paying a lot more attention at this point. "I have reason to believe that this room is being spied upon," Esjie proclaimed. Murmurs started to run through the crowd. "Therefore, I just told you that we have no plans to invade the Earth, in order to mislead our eavesdroppers." His eyes started to glow bright green. "In reality...I want you to get ready to *fight*!" "Like...the old way?" a General said timidly. "Yes!" Esjie cried. "But much more than that! Before the Queen left, she started the Darkverse magicians working on the best times and places to open portals to Earth! Now their work is complete, and we will use the energy gathered over the years of the Barney Initiative to send yoma to Earth and destroy the accursed remnants of the Kingdom of Delight!" A tentative, but sincere cheer went up. "Now...Are you with me?!?" Esjie roared. A real cheer went up this time. "Good! Generals, prepare your teams! We attack in five hours!" The Generals disappeared, amid more cheers and many showers of random objects, leaving only the four High Generals. "Malaise, Lessente, go get ready," Esjie snapped. Malaise blinked. "Oh...um...yeah," he/she said lamely, and vanished with a flutter of ticker tape. Lessente bowed. "As you command, Lord," he intoned. [The Baron must hear of this...] He vanished as well. Ayesse and Sohkoh approached the throne. "I gotta tell ya, that took balls," Ayesse said. "Yes, of course," Esjie said, not really caring what that meant. "Ayesse, I have a special task for you." Ayesse looked at him warily. "I want you to resume the Barney Initiative." Ayesse's eyes bugged out. "...What the f--" "You don't think I'd just abandon such an effective strategy, would you?" Esjie smiled, his eyes bathing Ayesse in green light. "It requires only one supervisor, anyway. I think you'd be...perfect for the job. ...Unless you have something to say?" Ayesse's eyes narrowed. They stood like that for several seconds. Finally, Ayesse broke the silence. "Since your...Barney bit the big one, I'll have to come up with some new thang." "Yes, yes, whatever," Esjie snapped. "Just create something that will inspire worship among humans, especially young ones." Ayesse bowed slightly, though his eyes never left Esjie's. "Yo," he murmured, and vanished. Sohkoh leaned against the throne and started idly yoyoing. "Interesting bit of strategy," he commented. Esjie smiled coldly. "So glad I meet with your approval." ===== He crept softly down the corridor. It was dim...as it always was. The only sound was his breathing, low and tense, and the blood pounding in his ears. There was the door, that he knew so well. It was always locked...but at the same time, it was always unlocked. Always, for him...he pushed it open with barely a creak. Glowing lights, screens, and buttons...Nothing in the room was powered by electricity, but some rooms just have to have glowing lights, screens and buttons. He touched the keys, the order engraved on his heart in despair. The last key, and the screens changed... "Eidon, how could you?" Her voice, as always. He couldn't bear to turn, to see her face, but he did as he always did, her face...he could handle hate, fear, anger, but... Sadness... The room exploded in a dark red tide. He sat up. He didn't scream...the dream was too familiar for that. He just sat there, breathing, looking at the sunlight on his blanket. Some religions believed that if you committed a crime in one life, you were born into the next life as an animal. He knew that was pointless; an animal would never remember, never understand... There was a knock at the door. "Koji! Time to get up! I've got breakfast ready!" Just a dream, he told himself. Any truth to it was centuries old. It had nothing to do with this life... ===== Malaise sat sprawled in a beanbag chair, watching his/her favorite romantic anime, Tabasco Girl, to cheer him/herself up. Unfortunately, it was one of the heart-stompingly depressing episodes, so his/her mood wasn't improving. It had almost reached the point where Malaise was becoming too depressed to get up and turn it off... Fortunately, Vuudu chose that moment to appear in Malaise's room. Malaise sat bolt upright. "Vuudu! You came back!" Vuudu had intended to recruit Malaise to the cause of keeping Esjie from taking over the Darkverse. However, he suddenly remembered the reason he had previously left Malaise's room in such haste. "Er...hello, Malaise," he said, a small sweatdrop breaking out on his head. "Oh, I'm so glad you're here! Esjie is just being horrible..." Malaise grabbed Vuudu and pressed his/her face into Vuudu's shoulder. Vuudu's face turned red, and then pale again. He patted Malaise awkwardly on the back. "...Uh...there, there...it's okay. Um...why don't you tell me about it." Malaise let out a shuddering breath. [He must think I'm being too forward...but I don't care anymore. I can't face this alone...] He/she related the events of the throne room. Vuudu stared off into space. "Hm," he hmed. "It sounds like Esjie's trying to get support from the Generals by showing them he can do a good job, and getting them used to taking orders from him." He pushed Malaise to arm's length and looked at him/her. "We have to stop him!" Malaise was now recovered from being depressed and had gone back to being sparkly-eyed. "Of course!" "Er..." Vuudu blinked and stepped back...and Malaise's face fell. Vuudu winced. He scrabbled under his coat, and pulled out a tarot card. Looking at it seemed to calm him a bit. "Uh...look Malaise, I...I don't really know if you're my type," he said. "But why?" Malaise's eyes looked moist. "What's wrong with me?" "Well...I..." Vuudu looked at the card again. [The truth is best, even if it hurts...] "I guess there's no easy way to say this, so...what gender are you, *really*?" Malaise blinked...then looked around. He/she walked over to stand next to Vuudu, looked around again, and made a little gesture. Vuudu frowned in incomprenhsion, then realized what Malaise was trying to get across, and bent his head down. Malaise leaned forward and started whispering in Vuudu's ear. After a few moments, Vuudu's expression turned to bewilderment. ===== Two men walked wearily into a diner, and sat down. Their clothes were torn and dirty; only their Cthulhu Local #39924-91 T-shirts remained intact. The waitress walked over to them nervously. "Can I help you?" "Do you know where Jodi Foster lives?" one cultist asked. Unfortunately, he was speaking Japanese. The waitress sweatdropped. "Er...I'm sorry?" As might be expected in America, she only knew English. "Joodi Faasutaa?" the cultist said slowly. "Uh...wasn't she in Contact?" "They want to know where she lives," a guy at the next table said. "Oh, uh...I dunno. You should take one of those Hollywood tours. ...But can I get you anything?" The cultists, after listening to their erstwhile interpreter, asked for sushi and miso soup. "Coming right up!" The waitress smiled and walked back to the kitchen. "What do we do when we have to pay?" one cultist murmured to the other. The other shrugged. "Run?" ===== Tejina, Hanaki and Kireiko sat under a tree, enjoying lunch. Sort of. Tejina looked around irritably. "Where's everyone else?" "Calm down, Tej," Hanaki said, smiling. "They might have other stuff to do during lunch. It's no big deal." "But there's so much stuff going on...I feel like if we don't keep track of it all, it'll all just stop making sense!" Hanaki looked at the camera. "As if there wasn't enough exposition last time." "...Who are you talking to, Hanaki?" "Hm? No one." "No, you were talking to someone! Just like Ayame!" "Chill, Tejina," Kireiko put in. "You shouldn't let little things like this get to you." "Oh, what do you know..." Tejina stared at her lunch sulkily. Kireiko shrugged, and turned to Hanaki. "So, Hanaki...what's it like living with Tejina?" "Oh, it's great!" Hanaki chirped. "It's so much fun having a sister!" Kireiko grinned. "Any embarrassing little secrets you can let me in on?" "Well..." Hanaki grinned wickedly. "Did you know that Tejina wet the bed until she was eight years old?" Kireiko burst into laughter, and Hanaki into giggles, as Tejina looked on in shock. "Wait...that's not true! Hanaki! You didn't even meet me until a few days ago!" "Oh...um...yeah." Hanaki smiled, with a sweatdrop. "Tejina, come on...I know it's not true," Kireiko said. "At least, I know she wouldn't know if it was." He grinned. "You're too tense today. We're just jokin' around." "Yeah...I'm sorry, Tej," Hanaki put in. Tejina hmphed. "Whatever." An awkward silence settled over the group. "So Hanaki," Kireiko finally said. "Do you play an instrument? Maybe you could be in the band." "Well, no...but I can sing!" "I'M the singer!" Tejina yelled. Kireiko and Hanaki stared at her. Tejina sweatdropped. "I mean...you can't have two singers...right?" Kireiko shrugged. "I don't know...I think the two of you as twins, singing together, might be really cool. 'Double your fun'," he said, grinning. Tejina rolled her eyes, but Hanaki giggled. [She's nicer than Tejina,] Kireiko thought. [Maybe I'll let Matsuro have Tejina after all...] "Hey, it's Becky," Tejina said. Becky walked over to the group and plopped down next to her. "How's it going, Beck? You look...well...puzzled." Becky frowned, looking, indeed, puzzled. "Well, I...I dunno. I think there's this guy in my class that...well, that likes me." "Ooooh!" Hanaki squealed. "Is he cute? Did he ask you out?" Becky blushed. "No, nothing like that. It's just...well..." (Cue flashback) ===== Becky exhaled, and straightened her papers. Time for lunch... "Ano...Anderson-san?" Becky looked up to see a boy standing next to her desk. Saito Koji, she suddenly remembered. "Yes, Saito-san?" He smiled...timidly, it seemed. "I heard, uh, that you're in that band now...the Do-Gooders?" Becky beamed. "Why, yes! I get to play the bass guitar. It's lots of fun!" Koji's smiled broadened. "That's great. ...Do you know when you'll be playing again?" Becky blinked. "Hm...well, actually...we don't have any concert dates set, right at the moment. ...But I'll be sure and let you know, if we decide on any!" "Great! I'm looking forward to it. Well...see you later then." Koji bowed a bit, and walked off to talk with some other guys. [He was nervous...why? I'm not a scary person, am I?] Becky thought. Then she blinked. [Unless...] ===== "...Maybe he likes me," she finished. "Hmmm...I think you're right, he definitely likes you," Hanaki said confidently. "So, do you like him?" Becky blinked, and blushed just a little. "Well...I hardly know him," she replied. "I mean, I see him in class all the time, but this is the first time we ever really spoke..." "Then talk to him!" Tejina blinked, as she realized that Hanaki had somehow managed to interpose herself between her and Becky. "Seize the opportunity! There will never be a better day!" Becky stared at Hanaki. A sweatdrop broke out on her forehead. "Oh, hi, Aki," Kireiko said. Becky exhaled as everyone turned their attention to Aki. Aki sat down next to Kireiko. "Hi guys." Becky frowned. "Aki...are you okay? You look...I dunno, down." Aki smiled wearily. "Yeah...well, I'm okay. Just had some weird stuff happen this morning." "Oh, Aki," Tejina said suddenly. "Do you have a transformation brooch?" Aki stared at Tejina. The ambient temperature seemed to drop several degrees. "Why...do you ask?" Tejina swallowed. "Er...just because Ayame said you were supposed to have one. She said you were supposed to get it, or..." She thought hard. "...or Charles would wish he'd never been hatched." Aki sighed in relief. The surrounding area warmed up again. "Oh, I see. Uh...yeah. Actually Charles gave it to me the other day." "Oh...well, good." Tejina smiled. "I mean...that means Ayame said was the truth, then." She threw a sidelong look at Hanaki, who unfortunately missed it. "So Aki," Hanaki said, "What's been happening that's weird? You can tell us about it..." Aki looked around. Everyone seemed sympathetic...she realized that there probably weren't any people who'd understand her problems better that this bunch. ...But she still didn't feel like talking about Sailor Joy... "All right," she began. "You know how my parents are divorced, right?" Nods. "Well...my father, like...he has a girlfriend now." Tejina blinked. [Father...I met Ayame, but who's my real father?] "Say, is it that Charity person from the Darkverse?" Kireiko asked. Aki nodded. "And she...well...she spent the night at our house last night." Shocked silence. Kireiko opened his mouth, but noticed Tejina glaring at him, and decided better. "Wow," Hanaki said. "That would upset me, I think." "Yeah...but I've never seen my father so happy," Aki continued. "And so, I'm not sure what to think..." She sighed. "If you don't like your parents, you can have mine." "EEEEEEEEEEK!" Aki blinked and looked around. Hanaki was cowering behind Tejina who, along with Becky and Kireiko, was staring behind Aki. She turned around. Keiko sat down next to her, frowning. As always in school, she had a totally black and Evil uniform. She also had a snake coiled around her neck; it was black, with white diamond markings. "Oh, what a pretty snake," Aki exclaimed. "Can I pet it?" Keiko blinked, and then smiled. "Sure! He's my familiar. His name's Jormungandr." "...er...oh. What a...nice name," Aki said, reaching out. The snake hissed and snapped at her finger, which she promptly jerked back. "Oh! I'm so sorry, Aki..." Keiko said, pulling the snake back. "I guess he doesn't like strangers...are you okay?" "No, it's okay...I mean, I'm fine." Aki smiled, with just a little sweatdrop. "Um...what was that name again?" "Jormungandr," Keiko said nimbly, though wth a slight Japanese accent. "It's from an old myth. I call him Yoru for short." She pet the snake and cooed to it. "It's okay, Yoru...I won't let anyone hurt you." She looked up and smiled...then frowned again. "Where's Matsuro-kun?" Everyone else recovered from their shock. "Uh, he looked kinda tired in class," Kireiko put in. "I wouldn't be surprised if he had just fallen asleep at his desk." "Aw." Keiko pouted at her familiar. "Tejina, I just remembered something," Becky said. "Hm?" Tejina hmed, blinking. "That dream I had said the Icon and the Emblem would end my conflict. And the warrior of Joy would help me," Becky continued, turning to look at Aki. Aki sweated. "But I gave them to Tejina. And...I don't know how to use my powers or anything..." "Well...I can understand that." Becky smiled, then turned back to Tejina. "But even if we don't know how to use them, I'd still like to take a look at the Icon and Emblem." "And the girl in *my* dream told me to find the Emblem," Kireiko put in. "And I think Matsuro had one where he was supposed to find the Icon. So we get shots at them too." "Yeah. So where are they, Tejina?" Becky prodded. Tejina was double-sweatdropping. "Um...well, guys..." "Tejinaaaa?" Becky glowered. "...Ayame took them. She said they'd be safer with her. ...You can ask her about them at band practice today!" "But I can't go, I've been grounded!" "I'm sorry, Becky...I'll see if Ayame will let me bring them to school or something..." Becky sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair. "More headaches," she muttered... ===== Malaise was still whispering in Vuudu's ear. Vuudu's expression was now one of frank astonishment. ===== In a dark sub-basement, a dark sub-rite was taking place. A woman in a business suit chanted, in an old and dark sub-language...(No, really, it was a special dialect developed for magical rituals...oh, never mind.) Black flares of power danced around a stained altar, upon which rested a stack of papers. With a final coruscation, the rite was finished. A young man with a 'Fun Guy From Yuggoth' T-shirt stepped forward to examine the papers. "Hmmm...yes, this batch looks fine too." "LET ME SEE." Wataru (for that was his name) showed the woman the strange curves on one of the papers. "GOOD. LEAVE ME SO THAT I MAY PREPARE FOR THE NEXT PORTION OF THE RITE." "Of course, great Shubby-chan." He gathered up the papers and left the room, softly closing the door behind him. The eldritch fire in the woman's eyes dimmed, and she slumped into the chair. "Tired..." she whispered. "But this will be worth it. I survived Reika...now only Yoshiko is left." She took a photograph out of a pocket, and looked at the three women depicted. One was a younger version of her... ===== Keiko stared at the chicken. She'd been sure to buy one with organs that could be removed. (Apparently if you were cooking it you used them to make gravy or something.) She hadn't really been sure how to desecrate it...but what she'd done must have been enough, because the message in the viscera seemed to be screaming itself at her. "You can accept or fight your destiny, but you can't ignore it." Keiko turned to look at the speaker. For some reason, she wasn't really surprised. "So...this is really me?" "Darkness is a fact of life. It must have representation as well. Who better than you?" She stared off into space. It did sort of make sense...and it might even improve her chances with Matsuro. Keiko grinned...evilly. ===== Two men walked wearily into a restaurant, and sat down. Their clothes were skimpy and functional; only their palm-fiber loincloths kept them from being arrested. The waitress walked over to them nervously. "Can I help you?" "Do you know where the god Villyn lives?" one pygmy asked. Unfortunately, he was speaking a language only known on a few tropical islands. The waitress sweatdropped. "Er...I'm sorry?" As might be expected in Japan, she only knew Japanese and English. "Biiriin-kamii-samaa?" the pygmy said slowly. "Uh...wasn't he the one who crashed that Do-Gooders concert?" "They want to know where he lives," a guy at the next table said. "Oh, uh...I dunno. You should come to the next concert, maybe. ...But can I get you anything?" The pygmies, after listening to their erstwhile interpreter, asked for grilled sunfish and coconut milk. "Coming right up!" The waitress smiled and walked back to the kitchen. "What do we do when we have to pay?" one pygmy murmured to the other. The other shrugged. "Threaten them with our pointed sticks?" ===== Yawning, Matsuro walked up the stairs to his apartment. Outside the door he stopped, nerving himself, and then opened it. The room was still very Norse. The dwarves, his mother, his aunt and the albino guy with the sword were sitting around his kitchen table, drinking. He sighed. One of the dwarves (he still couldn't tell them apart) waved at him. "Hey kid, come on in and take a load off." He hiccuped. "I don't drink," Matsuro snapped, "I got enough problems. Who the hell is this?" He indicated the albino. "He's our drinking companion! He brought the brew!" the other dwarf said happily. The indicated companion nodded gravely to Matsuro. "Welcome home, Matsuro," Matsuro's mother's head said from the chair next to her body. "How was school?" "I don't know. I slept through most of the day. It seems SOMEONE was making a lot of noise last night." He glared around the room, and threw his bag on a chair. "I'm shorry, Matshuro," his aunt Itako slurred. Today she had a traffic cop's outfit on. "But my boy losht his shord...the cursh on our family ish broken. Theresh no reason for me to hang around in this plane anymore. I got nowhere to go..." Her face screwed up, and she tossed back the rest of her drink. "Then why don't you go to Hell," Matsuro sneered. "Matsuro! Don't talk to your poor aunt like that!" "Oh come on, Mom. I kinda doubt she's going to Heaven." Suddenly the room was suffused with a yellow glow. Little yellow bulldozers lay down a tiny yellow brick road around the table, along which little yellow buffalo stampeded singing 'Purple Rain'. Matsuro just had time to notice that the dwarves were also gawking at these manifestations before his mother descended from the ceiling, barbed wire securing her to a metal cross. Matsuro blinked. He looked at the table. His mother was still sitting there, staring at the manifestation. He looked back to the cross. His mother frowned down at him, then noticed his mother at the table and rolled her eyes, muttering "Aw, damn," under her breath. "Somebody better explain this VERY quickly," Matsuro said warningly. His mother on the cross sighed. "Okay...I'm not your mother, Matsuro. She is." She jerked her head toward the table. "Okay...that's good. So who are you?" "I'm from the Department of Mystical Destinies," the non-mother continued. "See, your mother is supposed to give you these hallucinations to guide you to your destiny, but she hasn't been doing a very good job recently," she sent a glare at the table at this point. Matsuro's mother's head looked sheepish. "So they hired me as a stand-in to do the hard stuff. That one with the trees and the dragons and the two girls, that was mine. And some others too." Matsuro considered. "But who are you, really?" "A representative of higher powers. My personal identity isn't important." Matsuro frowned. "Sounds...hard. ...I mean, acting like other people all the time." The woman shrugged, not noticing the cuts as her shoulders scraped against the barbed wire. "It's a job." Matsuro thought some more. "All right...then tell me my destiny." "Can't. You had your chance. You'll have to talk to Keiko if you want to know." Matsuro sighed, and sat down next to his mother's head. "All right...tell me whatever you're supposed to tell me, and leave me alone." "You're not taking this seriously enough, Matsuro," the woman snapped. "Really, you think so?" "Don't get smart with me, sword-boy. The dragons are going to remake the world soon, and you'll wish I was around then!" Matsuro blinked. "Remake the world?...Is that good or bad?" "Ah, you understand." Matsuro blinked some more. "Well, that's all I have to say." The cross moved back up into the ceiling. "Oh, one more thing...the dwarves and Elric are part of your destiny." Matsuro stared. "They are?" "Why else would they be here? Take care, Matsuro. Break the shell of the world, rise to the heavens, meet someone over and over guided by the moonlight, blah blah blah. And give your mother some grandchildren so she'll stop nagging us about it. And choose your path!" The cross disappeared...and with a flash, the room was back to its Wagnerian version of 'normal'. As one, the dwarves threw their mugs over their shoulders. Elric gravely took a traffic cone from next to Aunt Itako and put it on his head. ===== Malaise continued whispering. Vuudu's expression had taken on a slight tinge of disgust. ===== Aki opened the door to her house. "Hi, I'm home," she called. She made her way to the living room. Her father and the Queen were snuggled up on the couch, watching TV. "Hello, Aki-chan," her father said, smiling. "How was school?" "Ordinary. Which is not a bad thing." She smiled at them. "I'm going to relax for a while, maybe take a nap." She walked to the stairs. "We're here if you feel like talking about anything," the Queen said. "Okay, thanks," Aki called, climbing the stairs. She reached her room, shut the door, and sprawled on her bed. Her eyes fluttered shut... "Aki!" She was in darkness...with a spotlight on her. And in the distance, was another spotlight... "Sailor Joy?" "A massive yoma army is attacking! You must transform and fight them!" Aki felt a stab of fear. "Is it..." "No, it's not what I showed you. But still, it is your duty to fight!" Aki exhaled. "...But what about Tejina and Becky and everyone?" Sailor Joy advanced, fury in her eyes. "The army is large! It is your duty as Sailor Joy to fight! Are you just going to abandon your destiny after coming so far?" Aki swallowed. "But...that costume..." "The costume isn't important! Sneak around in alleys and fight yoma when no one else is around! Or detransform as soon as the fight is over! It doesn't MATTER! Just GO OUT THERE!" Aki looked down. "...All right...I understand. ...If you'll help me." Sailor Joy smiled, slightly. "I'm part of you. How could I not be there for you?" Aki smiled too, a bit. "All right..." She woke up. For a brief moment she entertained the thought that it was all just a dream... "Sailor Joy! You must transform! A massive--" "--yoma army is attacking," Aki said resignedly. "I know. I'm going." She got up and ran down the stairs. Charles blinked...and then sniffed. "She's come so far...I'm so proud..." ===== Zathras, lurking in the kitchen, blinked. "That Sailor Joy," he muttered to himself. "In a hurry. Maybe something important happening. Maybe she could become part of the One. Maybe Zathras be able to help. But not good if she is alone. No, not good." Still muttering to himself, he followed Aki out the door. ===== In Yokohama, an old man was going through immigration. "Er...I have to admit, we don't deal with things like this very often," the official told the man nervously. "I mean...it's a rather unusual cargo." The old man smiled, his gray moustache twitching. "I understand perfectly," he said in a well-worn voice. "But I have all the papers right here, describing all the different species and how they interact with the ecosystems of Japan. All very harmless." He handed over a thick notebook. The official took the noetbook with wide eyes. "Uh...yeah, I see. That's...certainly a lot of insects. ...Anyway, we'll try and get you through as soon as we can, Mister..." The old man smiled. "Fei-Hong Chiang. You can call me Chiang, everyone does." He stared off into the sun. [And so you contrive to bring me back, Baron,] he thought. [But things are different this time...] ===== Tejina was rapidly losing her cool. "Where ARE they?" she whined, stamping a foot. "We were supposed to begin practice half an hour ago!" "Well, Becky said she was grounded," Kireiko replied, idly tuning his prized guitar. "Maybe she couldn't get away this time. And I told you Matsuro was acting weird." "Tej...Is everything okay? I'm starting to get a bit worried," Hanaki said. "Like you would understand," Tejina snapped, pacing. Hanaki's face fell. She looked at Kireiko, who gave her a sympathetic smile, as Tejina flopped into a chair. "Hey, I know," Kireiko said. "Why don't we see how well Hanaki sings? I still think having both of you in the band would be cool." "Cool!" Hanaki said, beaming. "I listened to the album Tej gave me, and I love all the songs. Which one do you want me to sing?" "Drop Dead, Sis," Tejina muttered, staring at the floor. Then she blinked...silence. She looked up and saw tears on Hanaki's face. "If that's how you really feel, Tejina..." "What?...No, wait, Hanaki, I didn't..." "I understand." Hanaki ran up the stairs. "Wait! Hanaki? Han? Wait, I didn't mean..." Tejina got up, and heard the front door slam. She looked up the stairs in shock. "Well, that was REALLY smooth, Tejina," Kireiko snapped. Tejina whirled, and glared at him furiously. "Shut UP, you...ONI!" she yelled. "Why are you taking HER side? I'M the one who suddenly had my whole life turned upside down!" "Well, I think she's a LOT nicer than you are!" Kireiko yelled back. "She's tried to get along with you, and you treated her like dirt! Hell, Matsuro can have you for all I care!" Tejina frowned. "Matsuro? What does he..." Then she remembered. Matsuro and Kireiko, fighting, but never telling her why. Trying to one-up each other...Kireiko asking her to a movie... Kireiko looked down. "Ah, shit," he muttered. Tejina's eyes were wide. "You...that was...was that why..." A scream sounded from outside. "That was Hanaki!" Kireiko yelled. "Come on!" He pounded up the stairs, pulling his shirt off. Tejina stared after him. "He...you..." Kireiko pounded back down the stairs. "Come on, we can talk about it LATER!" He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her almost bodily up the stairs. ===== * * * N E W S B R E A K * * * A pretty anchorwoman smiled at the camera. "Here's a channel 7 news break," she said brightly. "Our top stories: The JSDF holds a conference to address rumors of an unauthorized amphibious landing on Japanese soil." A picture-in-picture showed the Queen sitting on top of Villyn as they sped through the water. "A representative of the Akihabara Business Association addresses Y2K compliance of Tokyo computers." Now a picture of a suited man standing at a microphone. "And a special preview of the upcoming Tokyo Tower Music Festival!" A picture of that perennial anime landmark. "Plus, our feature: A Heroine Gone Bad? Princess Love continues her robberies!" A picture of the erstwhile magical girl. "But first, this special bulletin: Horrible monsters attack Tokyo!" The picture now showed a glimpse of JSDF forces fighting yoma. The word 'LIVE' pulsated at the bottom. Villyn pressed the mute button, shutting off the broadcaster's annoyingly cheerful chatter, and turned to the Queen. "Charity-chan, do you know anything about this?" The Queen stared. [Someone's giving orders, back in the Darkverse...] "Charity-chan?" The Queen blinked. "Hm? Oh...no, they didn't inform me." Villyn looked thoughtfully at the television. "They seem like very good soldiers. Powerful, but not smart enough to be disobedient. I'm glad we're inside..." Villyn blinked. "AKI!" He shot to his feet. "Nemesis-chan, what's wrong?" the Queen asked, standing as well. He whirled to her. "Aki! My Aki-chan just left for somewhere! And she's out there with those things!" His face screwed up, and he pulled his hair. "Oh, my darling Aki-chan..." "Nemesis!" the Queen said sharply. Villyn stopped crying and blinked. "If that's true, we must take action. Now!" Villyn blinked again. "...You're right...You're right!" His jaw set, and he clapped his hands. "Attend me, my minions!" Rumblings were heard from various parts of the house as the minions hastened to the living room. In a surprisingly short time, they were sorted out in front of him and the Queen. "Yes, Villyn-sama!" they yelled. "My daughter, my darling Aki-chan, is out somewhere, while these monsters are attacking the town!" he bellowed. "All of you split up, find her, and bring her safely back to the house!" "Except you," the Queen said suddenly, pointing at the as-yet-unnamed minion. "You will attend us as we also search for her." [I sense a power in this one...] She looked up at Villyn. "Is that all right, Nemesis-chan?" Villyn smiled. "Well, if you think that will help, it's fine, Charity- chan." He looked back to the minions. "You have your orders! Now GO!" "YES, VILLYN-SAMA!" they yelled, and stampeded out the front door. Villyn walked to a coat rack, pulled off a black cape, and threw it around his shoulders. Then he turned to the Queen, and extended his hand to her with a smile. "Coming...my love?" The Queen blushed in spite of herself. [He's so handsome when he's commanding like this...] ===== Vuudu's expression was slowly becoming one of horror. ===== Hanaki leaned against a wall, gasping. She had left Pepper at the Nakaos', and so was stuck untransformed. She looked back. No doubt about it, these were yoma. She blinked back tears. "Mom," she whispered... "JOYFUL CLEANSING LIGHT!" A beam of pure white shot from an alley. The yoma let out roars, and... dissipated. The two that were left quickly scurried away. Hanaki blinked...and ran to the mouth of the alley. Looking in, she caught a glimpse of a green sailor fuku skirt disappearing at the other end. "Hanaki!" She looked back. Kireiko and Tejina were running down the street toward her. She slipped into the alley. ===== "maynard!" Muttering, The Entity Formerly Known As Brother Maynard crawled out of his hole. "YeS, wHAt is It..." "the darkverse is attacking! yoma flood the streets!" Maynard stared at His Eminence, his form slowly rippling. "sO?" "this is the perfect time for us to strike!" Maynard blinked. "...aH...yeS! i SeE! shUB-NiGgurATh wiLl bE disTRACTEd! nOW we CAn--" "no you fool! now is the perfect time to capture the half-oni for the master!" Maynard glared. Sometimes it was hard to tell what expression his inhuman features were trying to convey, but this was definitely glaring. "maynard! you aren't very high in the great one's graces right at the moment! but if you can capture the half-oni..." Silence for a few moments. "...thEn maYBe tHe GrEaT One coUlD sEe fiT tO lET Me wAgE wAR AgAInSt shUB-NiGgurATh?" "i might consider the merits of such a project in a more favorable light." Maynard thought for a while...then grunted, and shuffled out of the room. "so hard to call up good help these days..." ===== Matsuro slammed the door to his apartment building, grimacing. [Maybe I can find some peace and quiet at the park...] A yoma dropped down in front of him. He blinked, and it punched him in the face. Matsuro slammed back against the wall. He shook his head, and looked around. There were about six yoma slavering at him. He grinned...evilly. "You picked the wrong day to mess with me," he said. He put his hand to his stomach and drew his sword, too angry to even feel nauseous. Something out of DOOM tried to rush him, face first. He neatly bisected that face, and pivoted to lop off a hairy arm coming at him. Then he had to jump to the side as a fist cracked the wall behind him, and then a little gray creature ducked under his sword, picked him up, and threw him over its shoulder. Matsuro landed and rolled, almost skewering himself. He shakily got to his feet, just as the 5 3/4 yoma left surrounded him. [There's too many of them,] he thought. [I won't be able to wear down their numbers fast enough... Suddenly a breeze blew up, bringing with it a stench of darkness. Matsuro and the yoma alike turned to see... "BLACK WIND FROM THE SOUL!" Inky blackness swirled into being and surrounded three of the yoma, their screams resounding between the dimensions as they were pulled into the void... Matsuro impaled a gibbering yoma, then swept around to slice in half what looked like a walking tree. He fended the one-armed thing off with a kick, then swiftly gutted it. The dark wind stopped blowing. Matsuro stood, breathing...and turned to see where it had come from. He stared. Keiko stood there. At first he thought she was wearing one of her black school uniforms...but this was different. The school's uniforms for girls were just uniforms, not sailor fuku. And their skirts were definitely longer. She was holding her Cleaver of Duality, and had an expression which could only be described as a smirk. "So this is Matsuro," the snake hissed from the ground next to her. "Powerful guy. And that must be the Sword of Duality." "Keiko...are you..." Matsuro's jaw hung open. Keiko's smile turned seductive. She walked toward him, slowly. "Like the new outfit?" After a moment, Matsuro nodded. "Think the skirt's too short?" Matsuro blushed slightly. After a moment, he shook his head. "Good. I was hoping you'd like it." She walked up close to him. "I wore it just for you...I've noticed you looking at some other girls with outfits like this..." "Keiko," the snake said. Keiko pouted. "Well, maybe it wasn't just for you. Yoru told me that I'm actually Sailor Darkness." She looked into Matsuro's eyes. "But I'm very happy you like it. I'll wear it whenever you want..." Suddenly a squad of yoma popped into existence. Keiko's expression turned murderous. "Go ahead," Jormungandr said. "I know you want to." Keiko yelled something that Matsuro was sort of glad he didn't understand. The snake chuckled. ===== "This is all your fault," Kireiko muttered, hitting a yoma with another yoma. "CHEKU BOUNCE! I heard that!" Tejina yelled, slamming another two yoma together. Kireiko put his yoma down, and blinked. There were quite a few yoma around, but all of them seemed to be out of action. He wiped his forehead. "Hey, that went pretty well." He flexed his muscles, and grinned. "'Smokin''!" Tejina rolled her eyes. "Do-Gooders!" Kireiko and Tejina looked around and spied a huge pack. Looking down, they noticed the Quake Camper. Tejina frowned. "You're one of Villyn's minions, aren't you? What do you want?" "Aki-sama is missing!" the Camper squeaked excitedly. "She went out and then we heard about the monsters attacking, so Villyn-sama sent us to look for her!" Kireiko sighed. "Well, too bad, little minion, but we haven't seen her. Now get out of here, we got our own problems." The Camper blinked. "What problems?" "Well--" Kireiko leaned down to scowl in the minion's face. "We're trying to find a friend of ours who also is lost out here with the yoma." "Great! Then we can look together!" Kireiko blinked. "Why the hell would we want you along?" Tejina exploded. "Well...um...the truth is, I'm not really a good fighter." Kireiko and Tejina shared a blink. "I'm more of a support minion, you see." Kireiko straightened up and rolled his eyes. "Well, great. So you just want to--" "aHa!" The three spun around to see the twisted, robed form of Brother Maynard hovering over an army of...things. Scaly humanoids with what looked like octopi for heads. Brother Maynard took out a Hello Cthulhu doll and pulled its string. "Won't you play with me?" it squeaked. "sUbdUe tHe oNI mY StarSPaWn! crUSH The otHeRs iF thEy inTErFeRE!" The starspawn shuffled forward. They looked muscular. "Hey, it's that freak again!" Kireiko yelled. He grabbed the lead starspawn before it could react, and executed a not-really-flawless-but-still- pretty-damn-painful Izuna Drop on it. "CARDO SUWARU!" Tejina called, sending a bunch of little plastic things with sharp edges at the rest of the starspawn. They made little burbling noises and batted at the bits. "cOwArDS!" Maynard yelled. "thEiR aTtAcKS aRe wEaK! aRe YoU reAllY oF thE GrEat CtHULhU? oR aRE yOu LiTTle MiCE?!?" Kireiko hoisted his starspawn into the air and threw it at another, eliciting a wet smack. Then he blinked. [Cthulhu monsters,] he thought. [Where have I heard something about...my father, of course, but something else that happened recently...] "Hey Tejina," he said, "wasn't that girl who hangs around Matsuro looking for the tentacles of Cthulhu monsters?" Tejina glared at him. "Oh, I don't know. But speaking of Matsuro, why don't you fill me in on this little rivalry of yours with him?" Kireiko grimaced, and punched another starspawn. "It's, uh, not a good time to talk about it right now." "But it's a fine time to gossip about Matsuro's fans, is that it?" "Look--" Suddenly he was grabbed from behind by a starspawn, and put into a full nelson. Another tried to punch him in the stomach, but he grabbed it with his legs and pulled; the starspawn behind him managed to lose its grip, and he wasted no time in beating the other one with it. Kireiko spun at Tejina. "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!" he roared. He turned back, ignoring her shocked look. "Now where was I," he muttered. He punched another starspawn in its octopoid face, almost on autopilot. [Now that I've chosen Hanaki,] Kireiko thought, [I don't have any reason to fight with Matsuro. So maybe I should do something to make amends...] "Get over here," Kireiko said, grabbing the Quake Camper by the pack. As the minion squeaked, he pulled some tentacles off the nearest starspawn's face, and stuffed them in the pack. The starspawn got up and ran away, squealing. Brother Maynard fumed (meaning, smoke started coming off his form). "yOu imPUdEnT bOY! hAvE YoU No ReSpecT fOr tHE GrEat CtHUlHu?!?" "Kireiko doesn't have any respect for anyone," Tejina put in, glaring. Kireiko laughed, grabbing yet another starspawn. "I couldn't have said it better myself!" "The smell will never come out," the Camper whimpered... ===== Malaise had still not finished whispering. Vuudu's expression was swiftly turning to shock. ===== There was a knock at the door. V opened it and saw a yoma. "Dear, it's one of your ex-boyfriends," he called. The yoma threw a punch, which he caught, twisting around in a judo throw. His wife, Amy Anderson, appeared in the hallway. "Aliens are attacking! Becky, get down here and help us fight!" She grabbed a gun from the coat rack and sent a couple of shots over her husband's back at the yoma outside. Becky pounded down the stairs. "Oh no! Yoma! I'll have to..." Suddenly she was torn by conflicting impulses. [Get the Little Big Gun!] [Transform and use the power of Rapture!] [Gun!] [Rapture!] [GUN!] [RAPTURE!] Becky screamed and fell to the floor. "Becky?" her mother called. "Honey? Answer me!" She ran toward her daughter, but suddenly a boy appeared in midair and fell to the floor between them. She trained her gun on the boy. "Freeze!" "Don't shoot! Don't shoot!" He held up his hands. "I'm sorry! It was just a side effect from my reality-warping powers! I didn't mean to barge in like this!" Mrs. Anderson lowered her gun...slowly. "Side effect?" "Yeah. They're good in a fight, but sometimes...never mind. Uh, have you seen Aki Villyn around here anywhere?" "She's one of Becky's friends, isn't she? No, I haven't seen her..." She spun around as V was thrown back into the hall. "I could use some help here, dear!" V called. His wife knelt down behind him and squeezed off several rounds. "Becky?" The boy turned to see Becky lying nearly-unconscious at the bottom of the stairs. Pink suffused his sight as flower petals blew past in the wind. "Beautiful," he whispered... Becky groaned. The boy was at her side in an instant. "Er...Becky-san? Are you okay?" Becky's eyes fluttered open. "...You...you're one of those...minions, aren't you? "Right now, I'm just a guy who's concerned about you," he replied. [Wow! Damn, I'm smooth!] Becky stared. "Er...yeah. Uh...who are you, then?" "Don't ask. ...Uh, but if you really need to, you can call me...T-kun." Becky struggled to sit up. "My parents...they were fighting..." They looked back at Becky's parents. The battle was going badly for the defenders. V and his wife were slowly being pushed back toward the kitchen. "It looks like the guns aren't very effective," T-kun said nervously. Becky blinked...and her face hardened. "Well, that solves that, then," she said grimly. At T-kun's look, she said, "Can you distract them for just a minute?" He stood up quickly. "Of course! Count on me!" He ran over toward the battle. Becky stood up, touched her forehead, and started muttering... T-kun jumped in front of Becky's parents and posed. "Back, fiends!" he proclaimed. "I won't let you hurt Becky-san!" The yoma and Becky's parents all stared at him. "Take this!" He squeezed his fist, and concentrated. Iron manacles burst out of the walls and captured the yoma closest to him. "Hah!" Another yoma ripped that one's hands out of the manacles, leaving a lot of purple skin behind. The first yoma howled and jumped at T-kun with fury in its eyes. T-kun jumped back in surprise. "Uh...uh...take that!" He gestured, and a wall burst from the floor, which the yoma promptly smacked into like a bird into a plate glass window. Then, unfortunately, it got up and climbed over. "Aaagh!" T-kun fell down, scrabbling backward. He concentrated furiously, and the wall moved away like a wave, pushing the yoma back several feet before they started to climb over. He looked frantically at V and his wife, who were looking on with great interest. "Quick! Give me something!" "What?" V asked calmly. "Just something! ANYTHING! It's too hard warping the walls and floor!" V handed him a gun, and T-kun promptly threw it at the yoma. It blossomed into a web of iron, which wrapped around the front yoma and dropped it to the ground, roaring. "Perhaps you could turn them into stone?" Mrs. Anderson suggested. "Can't, they're living things," T-kun replied, sweating. "Uh, Becky-san, when are you--" He turned around and saw Becky...as Sailor Rapture. His heart fell. [She's one of the Do-Gooders,] he thought. [Villyn- sama's archenemies...] Becky stepped forward. "Stand back." The yoma swarmed toward her. "EVANGELIST CONFUSION!" The hallway dimmed. Dark, horrible images of blood, violence, playgrounds and naked women flashed in the view of everyone watching. The yoma roared and started hitting each other, and in some cases themselves. "Wow," T-kun whispered. One yoma climbed over its fellows toward them. It looked pretty human... and it was muttering something, a ball of flame burning in its hands. "REVOLUTIONARY SHELL!" Rose petals swirled up from the floor and formed a spinning barrier. Fire burst against it, swirling around the edges, but it held. "Now I think we should leave," Becky said. "Unless we get some outside help--" "PURIFYING SPIRIT RUSH!" Intense white light shone behind the Revolutionary Shell, which ceased spinning and fell gently to the floor. All the yoma were gone. Becky blinked, walked to the door, and looked out. No one was in sight. "That voice sounded familiar," she muttered... ===== A yoma walked up to the man, and threw a punch at him. It promptly fell down. "HA HA HA HAAAAAA!" the Blank Psychic yelled. "NOTHING can defeat me!" He stepped over the yoma and staggered forward. "Aki-sama...Aki-sama..." Suddenly a girl ran out of an alley and smacked into him, sending them both down in a heap. Hanaki stood up quickly. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going!...are you all right?" "Of course, miss!" the Psychic said, weaving to his feet. "Nothing can stop...the Blank Psychic! HA, ha HA HA, HA HA HA HA HA!!!" Hanaki sweatdropped. Then she peered behind the Psychic. There was a long trail of unconscious yoma behind him. "Um...did you defeat all those yoma?" "Of COURSE! NO ONE can defeat ME! HA, ha HA!!" He blinked. [She looks sort of familiar...] Hanaki smiled politely. "Um...then can I walk along with you for a while? I'm all alone and defenseless, and my family threw me out...could you please protect me?" The Blank Psychic swelled with pride. "Of course! I'm off to find Aki-sama, and then I can escort both of you back to Villyn-sama's residence, where I'm sure he'll be merciful to you!" "Oh, that's wonderful!" Hanaki squealed, trying hard not to sweatdrop. "Actually, I'm one of Aki's friends from school!" "How splendid!" the Psychic exclaimed, as he started walking. "Then you, too, know the joy that is Aki-sama!" "Of course! I've been best friends with her for years..." ===== FWOOM! The Queen blew smoke off her fingers. "No doubt about it," she said, "Someone back in the Darkverse has usurped my position, and is sending these yoma to get rid of me." Villyn bashed a yoma unconscious with his armored fist, then blinked. "You mean...because you came here to stay with me?..." The Queen hugged him from behind. "Oh, no, don't think like that, Nemesis-chan," she said quickly. "It's okay. I'm so glad I came to stay with you...the Darkverse isn't that important. I can help you take over Earth, and then we can go back there." She peered past him and sent a blast of magic at a yoma. Villyn spun around, and looked into her eyes. "Charity-chan...I won't have it. You must regain your rightful position. It's what you deserve! I won't let them do this to you!" He took out his anger on another advancing yoma. "Nemesis-chan..." Suddenly they were enveloped in glowing red bands, and fell to the ground. The Queen thrashed around, and rolled over to see a very human-looking yoma standing over them, wearing a Darkverse General's uniform. "Polente!" she gasped. "Charity!" he answered, mockingly. "And Nemesis! I have your names, and your power!" "Release me, you fiend!" Villyn bellowed. "No! Now I have the Queen and her paramour prisoner, and even Esjie will have to bow to me! Ha ha haa!" he gloated. "Release them." The General spun to see Villyn's last minion. He sneered. "Or what?" "Or I'll make you release them." He stepped forward. "Bah! Such a minor player in the game of fate. You're no match for me! I can find your name in moments!" "Go ahead." The minion took another step. Polente muttered a chant, and an image sprang up in front of him. "Your name will be easily found in the rolls of destiny..." The minion took another step... "...any moment now..." And another. Sweat broke out on Polente's brow. "...where is it?" The minion stopped in front of Polente. "So?" Polente stared at the minion's blurry form. "You...you have no..." The minion grabbed Polente by the throat. Sorceries flickered from the General's hands, sliding across the minion's form like water. The minion punched him in the stomach. The bands around the Queen and Villyn turned to fog and blew away. The minion raised the choking Polente into the air. The Queen placed her hand on the minion's shoulder. "Thank you, minion, that was very good work. I'll take it from here." A few short moments later, the Darkverse General Polente was no more. (Thus earning the award for Shortest Lifespan of a Named Character.) Villyn staggered up to the Queen. "Charity-chan...what was that? Some sort of magic?" The Queen turned and looked sadly into his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Nemesis- chan...I should have been ready for that manner of attack. I won't let it affect us again, even if someone does find our names. ...Can you forgive me?" Villyn smiled. "Of course! I'm just happy that you're safe." He turned to the minion. "And it seems we owe our lives to you," he boomed. It was hard to tell, but the minion seemed to be smiling. "And so...in honor of this act of heroism, I hereby award you your code name!" "Nemesis-chan," the Queen interrupted, "May I give the code name?" Villyn smiled magnanimously. "Of course, Charity-chan!" The Queen smiled, and looked at the minion. "In light of your special place in the rolls of destiny...only one name is suitable. I hereby name you...the Unnamed Minion!" The minion's form sharpened...just a little. "Now," Villyn muttered, "where did Aki get to?..." A flash of green disappeared around a corner... ===== Matsuro wiped his brow. "Damn...these things are tough." Matsuro and Keiko were fighting back-to-back, in the middle of a circle of yoma bodies (and body parts). Through a sort of natural selection, only the toughest were still fighting. There were about a dozen, most with body armor of one kind or another. Matsuro had been hacking at a couple with turtle shells for 10 minutes, but they didn't seem any worse for wear. Keiko exhaled. "You're right there...BLACKENED CLAWS!" She stuck her hand in another yoma's face, and streaks of darkness scarred it. As it roared, she cut off its head. "Another down...but I don't know how long I can keep this up..." "Hey, girl!" Keiko and Matsuro glanced around wildly. The voice had seemed to come from off in a shadowy corner between two buildings... "I can help!" it called again. "Just make it really dark!" "Dark?" A grin spread on Keiko's face. "I think I can manage that." She flipped her sword around and thrust the point in the ground, then raised her right hand to the sky. "DRAWING OUT THE DARKNESS!" Matsuro froze as darkness boiled up from the ground. It blinded him...He couldn't even see his sword in front of his face. Then roars of pain echoed through the blackness. Tense moments passed. Then the darkness fell back to the ground. Black human figures stood revealed, then melted and disappeared into the shadow. There were only five yoma left...but they looked to be the toughest. "Good work," the voice said. Matsuro and Keiko turned to see the Bluefaced Black Shadow walking towards them. He grinned. "Need a bit more help, maybe?" ===== Aki leaned against a building, breathing hard. It had been difficult...but she'd managed it. She'd helped Hanaki and Becky, and made sure most of her friends were all right. But it was so hard...she couldn't accept Sailor Joy... Aki heard footsteps behind her. She spun around...and saw Zathras. She exhaled, and leaned against the wall again. Zathras ran up to her, bent down, put his hands on his knees, and gasped for a while. "Finally...Zathras...find you," he wheezed. "What do you want?" she asked, just for something to say. Zathras looked at her with a gleam in his eye. "Zathras has...noticed what you were doing," he said. Aki frowned. "Going to tell me to accept my destiny, or something?" Zathras shook his head, and leaned against the wall next to her. "Zathras cannot tell anyone what to do. Zathras has enough trouble figuring out what to do himself." He chuckled, and Aki smiled in spite of herself. "But... Zathras is curious...why you fight like this." He held up his hands. "Not wanting to offend! You can tell Zathras to go...jump in lake, or something. Zathras is used to it." He peered at her. "But...Zathras is curious." Aki looked off into space. Maybe it would help..."You have to promise not to tell anyone else, all right?" Zathras nodded vigorously. "Zathras will do. Er...Zathras will be sure, not to do. Zathras is good at not doing. Is very easy." Aki smiled a bit more. "Well..." Her expression grew distant. "I'm supposed to be...Sailor Joy...which I guess means that I help cheer people up and spread Joy. ...Is that right?" Zathras waggled his head in a tentatively affirmative motion. "Mmm, yes..." "Right. But...I'm the wrong person." She pushed off from the wall and looked at him. "I'm not joyful or happy or anything. I've had so much... *shit* happen to me...My parents are divorced, my father is always trying to take over the world with his crazy plans, and crazier minions..." She sighed, and slumped against the wall again. "I'd like to happy...I'd like to be joyful...really, I would. But..." "Ahhh..." Zathras nodded sagely. "Zathras understands. Zathras, not good at understandings...but Zathras understands this. You...are afraid. Yes. That you will not measure up, and be good Sailor Joy." "Afraid, hell, I KNOW I won't be able to!" Aki cried. Zathras smiled. "Please, calm down...situation is, not as bad as you think. You see...Zathras understands...but *you* do not understand." "Understand what?" Aki said dully. "You see...Sailor Joy spreads joy. This is correct. But...do not need to be joyful, to spread joy. In fact...good, if Sailor Joy knows pain. Thus, she knows *importance* of joy. ...You see?" Aki stared at him. "You know how it is, not to have joy. Yes? So you want other people to have joy. Simple." Aki's mouth dropped open. Zathras smiled. "So? What are your thinkings?" [He's right, you know,] a voice said in Aki's head. Her voice...the voice of Sailor Joy. [Why didn't you tell me?] she thought back. [I didn't know how to put it into words...I thought it would be obvious. I forgot that you didn't have my training...] [We definitely need to talk about this more.] Aki was rewarded with a sort of sheepish feeling from her mind. "Hm? Sailor Joy?" Zathras asked worriedly. "What? Oh...yes, I'm sorry." Aki smiled. "Actually...I understand now. Thank you very much, Zathras." Zathras beamed. "Now, if only I didn't have to wear this silly costume," she said wryly. "Hm? Costume...well..." Aki stared. Then she grabbed Zathras by his furry jacket. "Is there a way I don't have to wear the costume? TELL ME!" "Zathras will tell! Just let go of Zathras!" he bleated. As Aki let him go, he backed away and looked at her suspiciously. "Tell me," she said threateningly. "All right, all right! Just...give Zathras time to think..." Zathras' brow furrowed. "I think...is important to have different outfit that you wear when transformed...to show that you are Sailor Joy, reincarnation of Princess Anniki. But...maybe, there is...some *other* outfit, that is, magical...from Kingdom of Delight." Aki frowned in thought...and looked deep within her mind... ===== In the Darkverse, Esjie looked up. "The power," he hissed... ===== "She has fully awakened," the Queen whispered. ===== "Coffee! NOW!" the Baron yelled, slamming the cafe door behind him. ===== In Yokohama, an old man looked at the sky and smiled... ===== "WHAT NOW?" Shubby-chan muttered to herself. ===== "that can't be good." ===== Finally, Malaise finished whispering, and leaned away...a fearful expression on his/her face. Vuudu blinked...and moved his head back and forth, rubbing his neck. Then his expression turned to one of...understanding. "Well," he began, "I guess that's okay." Malaise blinked, his/her eyes moist. "R...really?" Vuudu looked at Malaise...and smiled. "Yes, really." "Vuudu..." Malaise suddenly jumped at Vuudu and desperately kissed him. "Mmmgmpf!" They fell to the floor with a thump. ===== Matsuro leaned on Keiko's shoulder, holding his side. "I'm sorry, Keiko," he said through the pain. Keiko smiled. "Don't be, Matsuro...I know we'll get out of this. I'm part of your destiny." "Unless it ends here," he muttered. The two of them and the Bluefaced Black Shadow were out of stamina, out of magic, out of ideas, and literally up against the wall. Three yoma surrounded them, the toughest of the tough. Two loked a lot like big, humanoid turtles with spikes on their heads; one was a dull green, the other a mottled brown. The last looked like a dragon, two meters long from its head to the base of its tail, with razor-sharp scales and cruel horns. Its entire body was a cold blue, stained with red in places. They seemed to be considering strategy. "Matsuro..." "Hm?" "If it didn't seem like it shortly wasn't going to matter...would you go steady with me?" Matsuro blinked. "Well..." He suddenly thought of the girl from his visions. "Still thinking of her?" Keiko asked sadly. "But I'm right *here*. I'll always be here. You don't even know she exists." Matsuro looked at her. "Keiko..." He reached out and stroked her hair, leaving a trail of red. "Oh...I'm sorry." Keiko took his hand and kissed it. "It's okay." She looked in his eyes. "Matsuro..." Matsuro smiled... "PURITY OF THE SHINING HEAVENS!" White light filled Matsuro's vision, and music sang in his head... What felt like a lifetime later, he regained his senses. The light faded. Blinking, he looked around. The three yoma had been transformed. The two turtle-things were hunched and wrinkled...bowed as under heavy burdens, but with the wisdom of a life of hardship. One was a vibrant forest green, the other the brown of a trackless desert. Their eyes glimmered with sad intelligence. The dragon stretched in the sun, its sea-hued scales shining brilliantly. It was noble now, a king of the reptiles. Matsuro, Keiko and the BBS stared. The turtle yoma looked at each other, and started to wander off. The dragon unfurled its wings and took to the air, the downdraft stirring up a cloud of dust. And when the dust cleared, she was there. Matsuro stared. It was her...the white gown, the flowing brown hair... She was standing there, watching the dragon fly away... "And now your pain ends," he heard her whisper. Matsuro staggered to his feet, his eyes locked on the figure before him. "At last!" he gasped. "I've finally found you! Just like you were in the dream..." Aki turned to him and blinked, a sweatdrop breaking out on her head. "...um...What are you talking about, Matsuro-kun?" Matsuro tripped and hit the ground, his hands twitching. ===== WILL WE EVER GET TO SEE AKI'S ACTUAL FUKU? DOES IT MATTER? WILL MATSURO CHOOSE KEIKO OR AKI? WILL KIREIKO CHOOSE HANAKI OR TEJINA? WILL BECKY CHOOSE KOJI OR THRAKKORZOG? THURSTONE DUNNE? THARZ--WHATEVER HIS NAME IS? WILL I BE DRUMMED OUT OF IMPROFANFIC FOR WRITING SO MANY ROMANCE SCENES? WILL THE CTHULHU CULTISTS CAPTURE KIREIKO? WILL THEY CAPTURE JODI FOSTER? WILL MATSURO APPRECIATE KIREIKO'S TENTACULAR PEACE OFFERING? WILL THE QUAKE CAMPER EVER GET THE SMELL OUT OF HIS PACK? DOES ANYONE GET THE JOKE WITH HIS NAME ANYWAY? WHAT MONSTROSITY WILL AYESSE UNLEASH UPON THE EARTH TO REPLACE BARNEY? AND WHY, WHY, WHY WASN'T THERE A RUN-ON SENTENCE IN THIS CHAPTER? Some of these questions might, if you clap your hands and believe, be answered byyyy...Phoebe! (cheers, applause) Later! Special thanks go to Jonatan Streith for prereading, nitpicking, encouraging, and just generally being a really Fun Guy! Thanks, Jonatan! "Zathras trained in crisis management!"