Lightning clawed at the sky, thunder rumbled in the distance, and
a faint hint of chlorine wafted from one of the many factories
devoted to former Supreme General Esjie's plans for world
domination via saccharine-laced-purple-dinosaur merchandise. At
the feet of an unnamed Darkverse cliff, surrounded by shards of
magic crystal, a vanquished evil slowly regained its strength and
achieved consciousness. With a terrifying groan, it rose to a
sitting position. Blood rushed to its head. Its vision swam.
With another groan, it collapsed back into unconsciousness.
Some distance above, General Ayesse shook his head. Esjie
was harder to kill than a cockroach--as several would-be Supreme
Generals could attest. If any of them were alive, that is.
Above Ayesse, the four Teletubbies cavorted on the sheer rock
wall. They seemed to have no trouble finding handholds and
looked to be having a grand old time capering about, crying
"Eh-oh!" and "Big hug!" and "The machinery of capitalism is oiled
with the blood of the workers!" Ayesse would have envied the
little simpletons if they weren't so irritating. The long climb
down had been murder on his threads.
Esjie had awakened again by the time Ayesse reached the
bottom. He looked blearily at his fashionably-attired former
colleague. "The Queen ordered you to throw me off a cliff?
That's rather unorthodox."
"Actually, she didn't," Ayesse admitted. He glanced at his
overly-cute companions on the cliffside. "There was a bit of an
accident."
"Ah. How unfortunate." Esjie rose to his feet and brushed
the dust and crystal splinters off his otherwise-impeccable
business suit. "So what do you intend to do now?"
"I guess I'll have to take you back to the Queen so she can
do the crystal thing again."
Esjie grinned, shark-like. "Yes, I imagine she would be
quite impressed at the way you took responsibility for your
mistake and acted to correct it."
Ayesse gulped. That didn't sound too likely.
"But perhaps we could find another plan that would benefit us
both. There is no need to ignore alternate possibilities that
may be of use to us."
"'Us'? There is no 'us', Esjie. The Queen has passed
judgement, and I'm not going to cross her. She's still upset
after that 'take over the kingdom' scam you pulled."
Esjie looked around to see if they were alone. The
Teletubbies were busy playing pirate, so they could be ignored.
Even if they heard something, they lacked the memory and the
speech capacity to report it. "I've washed my hands of this
place," Esjie declared. "No more mystic crystals and magic
princesses and lousy, overpriced espresso. Just take me back to
Tokyo, and I'll be out of your hair forever. The Queen would
never need to know."
Considering how often she checked on the crystal-encased
condemned, it was likely she never _would_ know. "All right,"
Ayesse said. "But if you run into the Queen on Earth, I had
nothing to do with this."
Esjie nodded. "Of course." He made some quick preparations
for the translation back to Tokyo.
Ayesse stepped back. No sense in getting caught in the wake.
The Teletubbies just waved their cutlasses in the air and
said, "Arrr!"
--------------------------------------
Do-Gooders
(The Proactive Teen Superhero Team
With No X Anywhere In Their Title)
Episode Thirty-One:
Escape! What Monsters Lurk in Dreams?
Created by Stefan Gagne
This part by Dave Menendez
Hosted at Improfanfic
--------------------------------------
Perhaps it would help to compose a letter
to the Times: Dear Sir: I hope I am not a
prude, but I feel compelled to lodge a protest
against the ever-increasing flood of
obscenity in dreams. Many of my friends
have been as shocked and sickened as
myself by the filth that is poured nightly as
soon as our eyes are closed. It is certainly
not my idea of home "entertainment".
Kenneth Tynan, _The Sound of Two Hands Clapping_
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this--and all is mended--
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
William Shakespeare, _A Midsummer Night's Dream_
*
Blessed silence rang out throughout the Nakao household's
basement. Hanaki and Ayame cautiously removed their hands from
their ears. Keiko picked herself off the floor. The impromptu
singing audition seemed well and truly over.
Kireiko gingerly removed his hands from Becky's mouth. The
American exchange student gave him a sour look. "You know, for
members of a reserved culture, you people sure overreact a lot."
Part of her mind suggested it was because they weren't decent
American folk. She ignored it.
"What now?" asked Kireiko. "We're still missing a singer and
a drummer." Tejina and Matsuro had both disappeared not moments
before. Hanaki and Ayame claimed to have had a vision, and
assured the others that their missing band-mates would be
returned in a week, but the Tokyo Tower Music Festival was in
three days. Not even the Do-Gooders could stall a crowd for four
days waiting for the rest of the band.
"I can probably take Tejina's place singing," offered Hanaki.
"In fact, I've been singing professionally for years. I even
have a Grammy!"
Becky raised an eyebrow, suddenly all business again. "A
Grammy? I find that unlikely."
Hanaki laughed nervously. "Well, I _can_ sing. Heck, I'm
already in the band."
"I, on the other hand, have no experience playing the drums,"
Ayame noted.
Keiko similarly denied having any useful musical skills.
"Why are we even discussing this?" she demanded. "We have to go
find Matsuro!"
Kireiko scratched absently at the ofuda sewn into his shirt.
"Do we need a drummer? Maybe we could get one of them drum
machines."
Ayame quickly explained what a drum machine was. This being
Ayame, it took about fifteen minutes. By the time the green-
haired girl had finished, Kireiko fully understood that he should
never bring up drum machines again. Ever. It wasn't too clear
why one wouldn't work in their situation, but he certainly wasn't
going to ask for clarification.
"I guess we had better find them," Kireiko said at last. "We
can't rock without a rhythm section. We'd 'suck'."
Becky smiled at Kireiko's use of English. It reminded her of
American anime fans who threw random Japanese phrases into their
speech. "Also," she said gently, "they're our friends and
they're in danger."
"Oh, yeah. 'For sure'. I--what's so funny?"
"Nothing." The five teenagers headed towards the stairs.
Their friends had been captured for reasons they didn't fully
understand by a force they'd never heard of. Who knew what
dangers they faced?
*
"Do you have anything to drink?"
Yoshimichi looked at Tejina with the kind of bafflement
normally reserved for waiters at fine restaurants who have been
asked if the Duck A L'Orange comes with french fries. "I beg
your pardon?"
"You know, drinks?" repeated the blue-haired girl.
"Beverages? Refreshing liquids? I've just been singing, and now
with the kidnapping and the death threats and the last-minute
reprieves, I've worked up some serious thirst."
"I could also go for a drink," Matsuro said in his cool-
bishounen way.
Yoshimichi smiled mysteriously and consulted his palmtop.
"Well, there's nothing in the prophecies that says you _can't_
have something to drink. I'll see if we have anything upstairs."
He wagged a finger at them. "Don't try to escape while I'm
gone."
Tejina watched him leave. "Escape to where?" she grumbled.
"The stairs are the only exit." She would know, by all
appearances they were in her family's basement.
It wasn't, though. For one thing, their friends weren't
there and this Yoshimichi person was. For another, he had told
them it wasn't her family's basement. Matsuro reminded Tejina of
that.
"So what?" she said. "That won't make a door magically
appear." Indeed, there was a distinct lack of magically-
appearing doors in the room.
Matsuro decided to try a different tack. "Your
transformation pen's over on the amp. Why don't you become
Sailor Delight and then we'll jump him when he comes back."
"I don't know. Couldn't we wait until after he gives us the
drinks?"
"The whole point of jumping him when he has the drinks is
that his hands will be full."
Tejina still wasn't certain. She really wanted that drink.
"Well, why not transform anyway?"
Tejina looked at him oddly, but went to get her pen anyway.
Holding it dramatically above her head, she clicked it once.
Nothing happened.
Tejina took a closer look at the pen and clicked it a few
more times. The retractable ball-point tip moved in and out, but
she did not transform into Sailor Delight. "Matsuro," she said
nervously, "there's something wrong with my pen."
"Are you sure it's the right one?"
"Of course it is! You think I don't know my own
transformation pen?"
"Sorry."
"At least, it looks like my pen. It feels like my pen. But
it doesn't have the magic power. It's like a cheap copy."
"Like this basement."
They looked around. The room was an almost-perfect copy of
Tejina's basement, down to her Nine Inch Ninjin poster behind the
door. Matsuro's drums were there, along with Tejina's keyboard
and Kireiko's amplifier. Kireiko's guitar was missing, as was
Becky's bass, but they'd both been holding their instruments when
they disappeared. Or, rather, when Tejina and Matsuro had been
brought to this place.
"I guess we won't be jumping him," Tejina said. "At least
I'll get that drink. Trying to transform only made me
thirstier."
"I guess we won't." Matsuro still had his sword--there was
no way these "Seals" could have taken it from him--but Yoshimichi
had a sword too. Too many things could go wrong if he attacked.
He looked around the room again, desperately seeking an alternate
exit. To his surprise, he found one. "Where does that door go?"
"Matsuro, there are no doors down here." He gestured at the
one he'd found. It was a bright red, western-style door with a
shiny brass doorknob. Tejina stared uncomprehendingly at it.
"That wasn't there before. I've never seen it in my life."
"I guess we'll have to find out."
"Matsuro, it _wasn't there_ before."
He shrugged. "It's here now."
Tejina managed not to pout, but it was clear she wasn't happy
about giving up the drinks. She squinted at the knob. "You open
it. I'm not touching some magic door."
Matsuro had no such concerns of his own. The door swung open
easily and he and Tejina stepped outside.
Unfortunately, escape wouldn't be that easy.
*
The five teenagers had made it outside before they noticed
the holes in their plan. Foremost among them, none of them knew
where they were going. This would make a rescue attempt rather
difficult.
"Where was she in your vision?" asked Kireiko.
"In the basement," Hanaki said.
"But... _we_ were in the basement and _they_ weren't there."
"A duplicate," Becky suggested. She glanced around
nervously. Her instincts told her something was up. There was a
sudden noise behind her, and her brain rapidly concluded that:
1. Someone had teleported in behind her
2. This person was probably hostile
3. There was a good chance it was one of the Harbringers,
who had seemed nice enough
4. Their mode of dress and consistent misspelling of
'harbinger' marked them as a potential threat to the
United States
5. The security of the United States was not exactly her
highest priority at the moment
6. Such talk verged on treason
7. Life would be much easier if certain paranoid and
delusional aspects of her psyche would just shut up for a
while
8. Claiming to be a resurrected princess from some mythical
kingdom isn't exactly a sign of great sanity.
"Are you okay?" Kireiko asked her. "You look like you're
having a fight with yourself."
"I am," Becky told him. "I think I'm losing."
The newcomer, meanwhile, had been revealed as Yoruko, the
amazingly black-clad "Harbringer" who had helped them against the
mysterious robot attack the day before. "Hello," she said
cheerfully.
"Why are you here?" Keiko asked flatly.
"I came to, uh, check on Tejina. If she's going to be an
effective Harbringer, there's some things she'll need to know."
Keiko looked at her suspiciously, but didn't say anything more.
"As long as I'm here, though, is Matsuro around?"
"Why would Matsuro be here?" asked Becky. They hadn't told
the Harbringers about the band. They had no reason to suspect
that Matsuro would be here.
Yoruko slowly tapped her index fingers together. "Actually,
the dwarves in his apartment said he might be here."
"Ah-ha!" Keiko said, stabbing a finger at the pale visitor.
"You _did_ come here to see Matsuro-chan."
"He _is_ the One," Yoruko noted. "I do have a certain, shall
we say, 'professional' interest in him."
"It doesn't matter," said Ayame. "Matsuro and Tejina both
disappeared recently. We suspect the Seals have captured them,
because--"
"The Seals!"
"Or someone claiming to be the Seals," put in Becky. "We
can't be certain they weren't lying, or that the vision Hanaki
and Ayame saw was accurate, or, indeed, that reality itself is
not an illusion created by powers unknown for purposes we cannot
fathom."
The other teens gaped. Even Yoruko seemed taken aback. "I
think you may be taking your paranoia a bit far," said Hanaki.
"Sorry. I'm a little on edge."
"It's cool," said Kireiko. "You think we should go get Aki?
She and Matsuro have that destiny thing and all."
"No," said Keiko.
"Her father's having some sort of important dinner," Becky
added. She had been invited, but begged off due to band
practice. Becky felt bad about declining; Aki hadn't been
looking forward to that dinner for some reason.
Ayame reminded the others that they still didn't know where
they were going. "Perhaps Yoruko-san has some advice on where to
look?"
Yoruko didn't flinch as all attention returned to her.
"Actually, I have no idea where the Seals might be hiding. We've
been spending our energy looking for Ma-- for the One." She
smiled. "I'm sure we can come up with some ideas with a little
calm discussion."
After a few moments of _that_, Becky began to wish she _had_
taken Aki up on her offer.
*
Dinner at the Villyn household was a little tense.
It wasn't the usual tension, either. The comfortingly
familiar tension between would-be world-conqueror father and
level-headed superhero daughter was there, but it was
overshadowed by a new tension brought mostly by their dinner
guests. The two pygmy tribesmen ate slowly, watching Villyn and
Charity like hawks, waiting for one to peek out of the cover of
uncomfortable silence so they could swoop down and mangle them
with their mighty claws of accusation. Villyn also watched
Charity, struggling not to be distracted by her beauty, her
charm, and the fact that she liked him. She had stolen the pygmy
tribe's Artifact of Morning and lied to him about it. He
couldn't forget that.
Charity picked at her food listlessly. She could guess what
the others were thinking, and the thought that her Nemesis-chan
no longer trusted her was devastating.
The Unnamed Minion stood behind the pygmies, patiently
waiting for someone to say something so he could translate for
their benefit. Villyn's other minions had sensed the weight in
the air and suddenly remembered important engagements elsewhere
for that evening.
Aki was eating as fast as she could. She didn't want to be
in the room when someone snapped under the pressure of Things
Being Left Unsaid. The only sounds in the room were of
chopsticks and chewing and the clanking of Villyn's
evil-dictator-style armor. She reached for her teacup and saw
that it was empty. She glanced around the room, gathered her
strength, and asked if someone could pass the tea.
The Unnamed Minion conferred with the pygmies. They had
decided to keep the teapot, he reported, but they would tell
their wives that Villyn had _given_ it to them.
"Is that directed at me?" demanded Charity. "It seems pretty
low to deny a young girl her tea just so you can jab at someone
else."
"Yes," said Villyn coldly. "Almost as low as lying to a
loved one."
The Queen of the Darkverse recoiled as if struck, unshed
tears shining in her eyes.
"You know," Aki said, "I don't think I need that tea after
all. In fact, I think I'm pretty much done here, so--"
Her father interrupted. "Finish your meal, young lady, or
there will be NO DESSERT for you."
Meek submission did not come easily to Aki Villyn, but she
managed all right. She returned to her dinner, convinced that
she had to get out of there before the other shoe dropped and
someone got crushed like a bug on the kitchen floor.
The pygmies, meanwhile, were questioning Charity's sense of
decency and wondered if she had any sacred artifacts that they
could steal and destroy. Why, they asked, did she care so little
for the ancient traditions of others? Perhaps her mother had
dallied with some barnyard animals?
Charity threw down her chopsticks. "That's it! I will not
sit here and have my family maligned. I came here expecting a
nice dinner, not insults from an uppity bunch of midgets!"
"Perhaps you feel betrayed?" Villyn murmured.
Charity recoiled again. She opened her mouth to retort, but
no words came out.
Aki winced and tried to eat faster. She didn't want to be
around when the thread snapped and the Sword of Damocles gave
someone a cheap lobotomy.
"Mere words are insufficient to express my disappointment,"
Villyn continued. "You lied to me and hurt those who had only
shown us loyalty." (The pygmies snickered a bit when the Unnamed
Minion translated that part.) "How can we rule the world
together if we can't trust each other? If there is no honor
among thieves, how can we hope to live together? Why by all the
kami didn't you _tell_ me you had stolen that cursed thing? Why
the lies!?"
"Nemesis-chan, what I did, I did for our benefit--"
"Is that the best you can do?" Villyn shouted. "How can I
believe that? How can I believe anything you say?" With a
visible effort, he calmed himself. "I think I had better leave
before I say something that I will regret later. Aki-chan,
please show Vengeance-san to the door when she is finished." He
stalked off, leaving his unfinished meal on the table.
Charity watched Villyn leave, forlorn. The pygmies just
glared at her. Aki sighed. She had to get out of there before
someone burst into flames from all the heated looks.
*
"You're in luck," Yoshimichi said, walking down the stairs to
the false Nakao basement. "I managed to find some Necronomi-
Cola, and..." He trailed off, noticing the strange silence in
the basement, the open red door, the lack of prisoners.
This would not do.
"GARY!"
"Yes boss?" The speaker, Gary, was a middle-aged American in
a dirty, red hooded sweatshirt. Though technically one of the
Seals, Yoshimichi didn't trust him. Well, he didn't trust
_anyone_, really, but something about Gary made him more
suspicious than usual.
"Our prisoners have escaped," Yoshimichi told him. "You
assured me this place was inescapable."
"It is," Gary replied, scratching his head. "They shouldn't
be able to manipulate things at all. It's not like they're the
One or something."
Yoshimichi held his expression steady and tried to ignore the
sudden sinking feeling in his stomache. Every so often, his
secrecy reached back and bit him. "Never mind that. How far can
they get?"
Gary rubbed his nose in contemplation. "Don't worry. I've
set a trap outside, and Hasami went patrolling a little while
ago. They won't get far."
The sinking feeling was getting worse. "Um, you are aware
that we want the boy alive, right?"
"We do? That complicates matters."
Yoshimichi looked at the door that hadn't been there before.
"We'd better go looking and hope we find them before Hasami is
through playing with them." For once, Hasami's little quirks
might save her victim's life. _I guess there's a first time for
everything._
*
Outside the door were the ruins of Tokyo. At least, they
assumed it was Tokyo. This came as a double shock to Tejina.
First, that there was _anything_ beyond that mysterious door.
Her house's basement was sensibly located underground; they
shouldn't have been able to reach ground level without taking
stairs or an elevator or something.
Second, the city they'd found was in ruins. They were
surrounded by empty skyscrapers and broken glass. The sky itself
was a roiling gray with distant flashes of red. This was _not_
something Tejina expected to find outside her house.
She remembered an anime she'd watched with Becky a while
back. A young boy living in 1980s Tokyo rode his motorcycle
through a closed-off underpass and found himself in a ruined city
lying _below_ Tokyo. It turned out that it was centuries in the
future and he and everyone he knew were passengers on a massive
starship. Their world was a carefully constructed illusion
created to keep the public in line.
At the time, she and Becky had laughed, amused by the
80s-style punks with their day-glo hair and ridiculous attempts
at machismo. She wasn't laughing now. "Hey, Matsuro. You think
maybe the Tokyo we knew was just an illusion created by the
government and we're all living inside a giant spaceship?"
He looked at her like she'd suggested the world was flat and
flew through space on the back of a giant turtle.
"Eh-heh-heh. Maybe not."
They trudged on, broken glass crunching beneath their feet.
_Good thing I wore heavy shoes._ Suddenly, Matsuro stopped and
held up a hand.
"Do you hear something?"
Tejina listened for a moment. "No."
"Oh." Matsuro looked concerned, in that cute unconcerned way
of his. They moved on, both trying to walk quietly and listen
for danger. Occasionally, they would stop altogether. Matsuro's
caution was beginning to make Tejina nervous, but she kept quiet.
Sometimes talking about scary things makes them seem less
frightening, but not when they might be stalking you.
Once, Matsuro held up his hand and they stopped and some
distance behind them there was a single footstep.
By unspoken agreement, they chose that moment to start
running. Their pursuer, perhaps recognizing that stealth was no
longer useful, started running as well. Tejina reviewed the
situation in her mind. They were running from an unknown party
through an unknown city towards an unknown destination. She
wondered how it could possibly get worse.
She found her answer when they noticed the big, white,
floating sphere headed for them. It almost looked like a weather
balloon drifting through the ruined city, except that it was
changing course to intercept them.
"Run!" Matsuro said helpfully.
She took his advice, but no matter how hard they ran, the
sphere got closer. Matsuro glanced behind them, and shoved her
to the side.
"What are you doing?" she started to yell, barely getting
past "What" when she saw the sphere strike Matsuro from behind.
He hit a clear patch of asphalt, hard. The sphere bounced on him
twice, and then seemed to turn towards Tejina. She grabbed one
of the larger glass shards and lunged at it, tearing a long gash
in its side.
The wounded balloon flew off randomly, eventually landing on
a nearby lamppost. Tejina ignored it and kneeled by Matsuro.
"Are you okay? Matsuro?" She shook him a few times, but he
didn't respond. "Matsuro, wake up!"
"Perhaps you should be concerned about yourself, yes?"
Tejina looked up. The newcomer was a black-haired woman in a
red leather jacket and pants. She smiled at Tejina in a
non-comforting way.
"My name is Hasami of the Seals," the woman said, "and you
will be getting no further in your escape, little girl."
Tejina looked at the Seal apprehensively. She had no powers
to speak of here, but she couldn't let her harm Matsuro. Good
drummers were just too hard to find. Matsuro just lay on the
ground, unmoving and mumbling something about the "Absolute
Destiny Apocalypse."
"You are wishing to fight, yes?" said Hasami. "Very well, I
can so oblige you." She reached into her neck and drew a long
pair of scissors. The blades glowed with dangerous-looking
runes.
Tejina approximated a fighting stance. _Oh, Matsuro. Please
wake up soon._
*
For a place where so many seemed to look and dress alike, the
Academy was oddly tolerant of individualist quirks. Matsuro
pushed that tolerance to the limit. Some time ago, he had taken
to wearing a black modified girls uniform to classes. It was a
bit broader in the shoulders, tight in the chest (well, for a
girl it would be tight), and it had pants instead of a skirt.
Defying convention was all well and good, but Matsuro drew the
line at wearing a skirt.
In any case, it irritated the faculty without actually being
against the rules, and that suited him fine.
Matsuro stood at the edge of the "forest", although it looked
like a single tree from the outside. Inside was a different
story. He'd been there once before, fighting a deadly ping-pong
game against the Student Council Vice-President beneath a
floating, inverted Wal-Mart--and that had only been the _third_
weirdest thing that happened that day. (Number two had been
learning that the so-called "Tulip Groom" was "engaged" to him
_and_ was his new roommate. Number one was meeting the Tulip
Groom's pet.)
The Vice-President had demanded a rematch, and Matsuro was
determined to lose. He wanted no part of the Student Council's
insanity. Raising his secret decoder ring, he prepared to enter
the arena.
Then the singing started and the world went wonky.
Durandal! Sauvagine! Cortana!
Excalibur! Anduril! Orcrist!
He shook his head. For a moment he had felt like he was
someone else. His trusty assault rifle calmed him, brought him
back to his senses. It was running low on ammo, but its grenade
launcher was full. And when that ran out, he had some other
surprises for the bugs.
The three-eyed bastards were all around him. He could hear
their warbling chatter nearby, see the glow from their
shockstaffs in the distance. The bugs were nervous; a detachment
of human soldiers were coming. When they arrived, he would help
them destroy the bugs.
Or was he supposed to help the bugs destroy the humans?
Life and Death!
Love and War!
New York and San Francisco!
He heard Keiko scream, bound to the earth by a black snake,
her scandalous uniform shredded. Three girls he didn't recognize
stood around her, laughing.
A tin-plated El Dorado!
Cetaceans hanging from their ears!
He saw Aki--no, Princess Annikki--lying in a pool of her own
blood. She coughed and tried to smile. "I will always love
you," she said. "No matter what happens." Matsuro reached for
the sword that pierced her chest, but in his fumbling about he
only found the railing. Without the pressure from his left hand,
his severed wrist started to bleed again. Beyond the railing,
Darth Vader offered an armored hand, offered to rule the universe
with him.
Said he was his father.
Matsuro shouted defiance. He would not accept that--he
_could_ not accept that. No way his father was an armored looney
out to rule the world. Vader stepped closer, and Matsuro stepped
away from the railing...
And fell...
He hit bottom sooner than he expected. He was also less dead
than he expected, but he had no complaints about that. He was on
his back in a brightly-lit room with a rough ceiling and
unfinished cinder-block walls. His mother sat on a stool in the
corner clad in a gray sweatsuit and smoking a cigarette.
"Mom?"
She noticed him with a start. "Matsuro-chan!" She glanced
around, as if embarrassed by the room's mundane appearance. "Um,
I wasn't expecting you."
It was a surreal moment, and yet comfortingly normal. At
least she wasn't dissolving or being crucified or selling life
insurance. "Mom," he said again. "I--I have a question." That
was an understatement. He had millions of questions, but knew
from experience that these visions didn't stay coherent long.
Best to get the important information before it turned into
"Yellow Submarine".
His mother took a drag on her cigarette and flicked it away.
"I'll tell you anything I can, son."
He told her about the others disappearing, Yoshimichi,
Tejina's non-functional transformation pen, the mysterious door,
what they'd found beyond it, the white sphere. "Then I was at an
academy and fighting aliens and Keiko and Aki were hurt and then
Darth Vader showed up. Now I'm here. What does it mean? What's
going on?"
"It's a dream."
He gaped. That was it? "I'd figured _that_ out already.
That sphere must have knocked me unconscious. But what's going
on _outside_ this dream?"
"You don't understand. Try drawing your sword."
"My sword?"
"You still have it, right?" He nodded. "Then let's see it."
Confused, Matsuro reached into his chest and pulled out... a
giant spoon. There were mystic runes on the handle.
"Odd," said his mother, "I figured it would be a fork."
"What _is_ this?" Matsuro demanded.
"It's a Spoon of Duality. Pretty stupid, right? Ergo, you
must be dreaming."
"I dunno, Mom. There's been a lot of stupid things happening
in the waking world, too."
She gave him a serious look. "Look, it's easy. All you have
to do is remember: There is no spoon." With that, she drew
another cigarette and started puffing away.
Matsuro looked at her blankly (this was normal, for him) and
thrust the spoon back into his chest (this was not). He still
had a million questions, but one in particular was gnawing at
him.
"Was there something else, son?"
"Mother," he said, "who was my father?"
She looked at him quizzically. "Why does it matter?"
Matsuro insisted. This was the first time he'd had a normal
conversation with his mother since she'd died. He might never
get another chance to ask. After some prodding, she pulled a
wallet from... somewhere and tossed it to him. Matsuro flipped
it open and quickly found an old family picture. It was him as a
baby and his mother, looking much younger and less dead, along
with another baby he didn't recognize and... what could only be
his smiling father.
Nemesis. Serendipity. Villyn.
His knees trembled. His shoulders shook. His stocks
nosedived.
"IYAAAAAAA!"
He clutched his head. He staggered. He screamed like a
girl. He--wait. That scream had sounded familiar, but it
definitely hadn't come from him. In fact, it had almost sounded
like Tejina...
Tejina!
*
Tejina sank to her knees, clutching at her scalp, trying to
accept what had just happened. To take the pain and move on.
For Matsuro's sake, if nothing else. In the corner of her eye,
she saw Hasami take an appraising step back, her rune-encrusted
shears glinting from recent use.
Tejina tried to control her breathing. It wasn't over. She
had taken a mighty blow (so to speak) but she wasn't defeated.
To her side, Matsuro abruptly leapt from the ground and spun
to face her. He blinked. "What happened to your hair?"
*
While the others continued their "calm discussion" about how
they find Tejina and Matsuro, Ayame and Hanaki shared a terrified
glance. Becky noticed; little got by her attention when her
secret agent training was dominant.
"Has something gone wrong?"
Hanaki just nodded, numb with shock. Ayame also looked like
she'd been punched in the gut, but she was still aware enough of
the world around her to answer questions. "Something terrible
has happened."
The mercifully brief nature of her response only made her
news seem more ominous.
*
Tejina just pointed a shaky finger at the strange woman and
said, "Ha-Hasami." Then, with a moan, she collapsed on the
ground, her once-long hair now less than shoulder length.
Matsuro stepped between Tejina and this Hasami person. She
smirked and took a step back, giving them a little more room to
fight.
"I'm not sure who you are," Matsuro intoned, "and I don't
know what this place is, but I do not care. You will take us
back to Tokyo--_our_ Tokyo, where our friends live and our stuff
is."
Hasami smirked again. "Perhaps you should make me, yes?"
Matsuro reached into his chest and drew his sword. "I've
seen this blade kill enemies far worse than you. If you value
your life, return us to our home."
Hasami laughed. "That's not a knife. That's a spoon!"
Matsuro checked at his weapon. Instead of the familiar Sword
of Duality, he was holding the spoon he had had in his dream. He
could feel panic stirring (though his face showed no sign of it).
Had he done something wrong? Where was his sword? Why did he
have a spoon?
No. He remembered what his mother had said.
There was no spoon.
It was a dream.
Feeling more confident now that he understood the situation,
he gave Hasami a smirk of his own and ran his free hand through
his hair. "A spoon, you say?"
"I have played knifey-spooney before, yes? I know a spoon
when I am seeing one."
Matsuro looked at his spoon and concentrated. With an odd
ripple, it became his familiar sword. He looked at the Seal.
"How about now?"
"Impressive. You have adapted yourself to this place with
rapid speed. But perhaps you should watch your back, yes?"
Matsuro glanced behind him and saw Yoshimichi and some gaijin
in a hooded sweatshirt sneaking up on him. They looked rather
nonplussed that Hasami had blown their cover. On an impulse,
Matsuro dove onto Tejina. He heard Hasami's shears whistle
through the air just behind him.
"Aww. It is no fun if you are ducking, yes?"
Matsuro ignored her. He gathered Tejina in his arms and
leapt a good ten meters away. He was beginning to understand the
rules of this strange dream-world, but for now he was more
interested in escape.
Tokyo. He had to get back to Tokyo. The _real_ Tokyo, not
some dream-analogue. He concentrated on finding his way home to
his friends.
*
"If you don't know what happened," Kireiko demanded, "how do
you know it was terrible?"
"It was a powerful feeling of despair," Hanaki said
irritably. "It didn't come with a descriptive brochure."
Kireiko sighed. They had been over this again and again and
were making about as much progress as they had towards finding
their missing friends.
"If it involved Tejina, why can't you see it like you saw her
troubles earlier?" That was Becky, her secret agent training
lending her a calm, logical outlook.
"I don't know," said Hanaki. "We had that one flash, and
then it faded away."
"It was probably only the magnitude of the disaster that let
us sense it," added Ayame. "The telepathic link appeared right
after Tejina and Matsuro were abducted and it's been fading ever
since. If may have been a side-effect of whatever magic our
assailants used. In fact, it's been theorized that--"
"Look!"
Yoruko was a short distance away, pointing at an odd ripple
in the sky. Well, not really in the _sky_. It was only about a
meter off the ground, but it showed up against the sky. As they
watched, the distortion intensified. To their surprise, Matsuro
stepped out of it, a semi-conscious Tejina in his arms.
"Matsuro!" Yoruko said warmly, but any further comments she
had were cut off by Hanaki and Ayame rushing to check on their
sister. Even Becky hurried over, her demeanor softening as her
memories as Sailor Rapture became dominant.
Matsuro set Tejina down and stepped back as the three girls
clustered around her, hesitantly touching her newly-short hair,
wringing their hands, and offering words of sympathy.
Kireiko: "I don't get it. Won't it just grow back?"
The angry looks he got suggested that he did not, in fact,
get it.
*
Matsuro stood a few feet away, lost in thoughts of his own.
He was dimly aware of Keiko and Yoruko hovering near him (not
literally), but he pushed them from his mind. He had other
matters to consider.
Villyn.
It his mother's photo from the dream within the dream was
correct, Villyn was his father, which meant Aki... was his
_sister_.
It made no sense. Presumably, his mother hadn't realized who
Aki was when she spoke of them marrying. The thought made him
queasy. How could his supposed "true love" have reincarnated as
his sister? Could destiny have screwed so catastrophically?
He glanced at Ayame, somehow transformed from Tejina's mother
to her sister. It was all too possible.
Keiko was still by his side, smiling at him. _She'd like
this news._ Yeah, but how was it that she hadn't already known?
She was so certain she knew his destiny, surely she would have
mentioned this. Unless--
"You okay?" asked Kireiko. "You look 'bummed out'."
"I... have some things to think about. I don't know if I'm
ready to discuss them yet."
The half-oni shrugged. "'Whatever'. Maybe we should get off
the streets, though. We seem to attract weirdos."
Yoruko gave him a sharp look, but didn't comment.
They decided to return to the basement. Becky helped Tejina
to her feet, and the eight of them regrouped and prepared to
return to the Nakao household. There would be some stories told
that evening, and for once it wouldn't be an animal advisor or
Ayame telling them.
They didn't notice the three sailor-fuku-wearing girls
watching them from the rooftops.
*
Elsewhere, Yoi Maeda rounded a corner, deep in thought. Like
it or not, he was Maeda now; Esjie was a thing of the past. He
had abandoned that part of his life much like the gecko abandons
its tail, hoping that the predator will be so engrossed with the
tail that it doesn't notice that the greater part of its prey is
some distance away and running like hell.
The last few hours had been spent attempting to re-establish
his connections with the Tokyo Legitimate Businessmen's Club, but
they had closed their old offices and he had no idea where they
he could find them.
It was almost enough to make him re-think his abandonment of
the Darkverse. Sure, he and Queen Charity had had their
differences--like which of them was supposed to be in charge--but
he had done great things for her kingdom. Surely that counted
for something. If he approached her right, could he convince her
that his recent attempt to usurp her position was the fault of
those Void creatures and not his own? Could he persuade her to
give him another chance?
Maeda guessed the chances of that were slightly better than
those for convincing water to flow uphill, but not as good as for
selling liquid nitrogen to Eskimos.
So deep was he in his thoughts that he collided with another
pedestrian, an average-looking man wearing an "Elder Gods do it
beyond Space and Time" T-shirt.
"I'm terribly sorry," Maeda said, helping the man to his
feet. "I was lost in my thoughts and didn't notice you."
"I'm all right," said the man with a shy smile. "But are
_you_ okay? You look like life's handed you some mighty big
lemons lately."
The former Supreme General chuckled, not even a teeny hint of
bitterness in his voice. Really. "You could say that. My name
is Yoi Maeda, by the way."
"I'm Wataru. Pleased to meet you."
Somewhere in the heavens, a cluster of stars moved closer
into alignment. It was not a good omen.
*
ARE MATSURO AND AKI BROTHER AND SISTER?
WHAT ARE THOSE OTHER SAILORS UP TO?
HOW WILL TEJINA DEAL WITH HAVING SHORT HAIR?
WILL WATARU AND MAEDA HIT IT OFF?
CAN VILLYN AND CHARITY PATCH UP THEIR RELATIONSHIP?
IF NOT, WILL THEY APPEAR ON "JERRY SPRINGER"?
Don't ask me, folks. Chandra Rooney is the one you seek.
____________
Liner Notes:
Normally, I like to hold new episodes in reserve for a week or so
before I post them. That obviously wasn't possible this time, so
if any awkward grammar or poor spelling has slipped by me, I
apologize.
When I signed up for Do-Gooders, I figured I'd write a
"monster-of-the-week" episode. You know, the mostly
self-contained kind where no major plot points or characters get
introduced. Obviously, that didn't happen. This sucker "grew in
the telling", as Tolkien would say.
I'll be off-line for the next few days, so please e-mail me
any comments you have. I may not get back before Twoflower
clears them from the Board.
The rest of these notes are explanations of some, but not all
of the references and in-jokes. If you prefer not to know, you
might not want to read further.
One of the big questions I had to answer was "Where were
Tejina and Matsuro taken?" I tried a few solutions, but I didn't
find any that I liked until I got the dream-world idea. It also
had the nice side-benefit of explaining why Yoshimichi could see
Matsuro's hallucinations, which normally only he and Keiko can
see.
Tejina's pen didn't work because it wasn't really her pen.
The dream-copy didn't have the necessary magic. Actually, this
episode contains almost no Sailors at all--certainly a change
from just a few episodes back!
Becky's brief rant about whether reality was really "real" is
an old philosophical conundrum that has inspired a number of fun
movies. Ones I'd recommend include _Dark City_, _Ghost in the
Shell_, and _Urusei Yatsura 2: Beautiful Dreamer_. The irony
here is that Matsuro and Tejina really are in a false reality
created by powers they don't understand.
The anime Tejina describes is _Megazone 23_ (that's
"two-three", not "twenty-three"). So far as I know, it hasn't
been released in the United States, although footage from it was
incorporated into _Robotech: The Movie_.
The white sphere is from _The Prisoner_, a British science
fiction series that I'd really like to see someday.
The Academy and events therein are based on _Revolutionary
Girl Utena_, which has been described as the _Evangelion_ of
shoujo anime. I'm not sure how accurate that is, but it's among
the more surreal series I've seen.
The six names are all legendary swords, the last two from
Tolkien.
The segment with the bugs is inspired by Bungie Software's
_Marathon Infinity_, one of the more literate "first-person
shooter"-type video games. In it, the viewpoint character visits
several different realities, some where he works for the good
guys, others where he works for the bad guys. (Bungie is
currently producing _Oni_, a third-person game inspired by anime.
In some ways, it's reminiscent of _Ghost in the Shell_.)
The bit with Keiko is random portentousness that will
probably never happen. The (lack of) transition between the
scenes with Aki and with Darth Vader is intended to reflect the
stream-of-consciousness of dreams. I'm not sure it worked out
too well. That's why I'm not a pro, I guess.
Vader's presence is symbolic of Villyn. Unusually, it was my
decision to include him that inspired the revelation about
Matsuro--not the other way around. Sometimes, the writing can
suggest strange things.
The spoon is inspired by _The Matrix_, another "reality is
not what it seems" film. "Knifey-spooney" is from _The
Simpsons_.
That's all I have to say. Go in peace.
-- Dave.
--
David Menendez | "In this house, we obey the laws
http://www.personal.psu.edu/dmm264/ | of thermodynamics!"