On a hilltop overlooking fair Tokyo, a group of young teenage super-heroes stand. They are noble, brave, and will never cease their fight for justice and the Japanese way! They are honest, selfless, and willing to lay down their lives for any innocent bystander caught in the fray. No fiendish fiend shall escape their watchful eyes, no evil plot shall succeed, and no cheesy line shall be withheld. They are...clearly not related to THIS story. DO-GOODERS A slightly less selfless group of proactive(?) teenage superheroes with really cool (and mostly cape-less) costumes Episode 32: Love sucks! And so Do Auditions! or Dragons?! What are They Doing Singing Our Song? An Improfanfic hosted by Spoof Chase Productions (http://pixelscapes.com/improfanfic) Started by Sefan Gagne Ep. 32 by Chandra Rooney Deep within the subterranean liar of Nemesis Serendipity Villyn, the great world conqueror plotted how next to crush his pathetic enemies. Actually, Villyn was sulking in the basement of his Tokyo home. A much more dangerous enemy faced him than ever before...a broken heart. Cradling his most secret and prized comfort object, he told himself the same thing that any number of high school girls could be telling themselves as they fought not to cry over so-and-so: you're better off without Charity. Well, actually, most High School girls wouldn't be saying that; it really only applies to Villyn's case. Most guys aren't named Charity after all. "I was blinded by her unfathomable beauty, swept away by her gentle graces and good charms, Mr. Pikasworth," he told the slightly-mangled pikachu beanie baby. "How can I ever look into those glorious eyes again without being reminded of how she deceived me?" " 'I love you'," a synthetic voice emitting from Mr. Pikasworth replied in English. " 'I love you'." Since Villyn didn't understand that English phrase, this kind sentiment was lost on him. He thought the beanie-baby was saying something evil and awe-inspiring. "I am..." Villyn looked around to make sure no one was listening in, "a bit afraid that I'll never find anyone as wonderful as my dear Natsuko. If only she hadn't died in that-" "I've got you now, Dr. Evil!" Villyn looked up. Some gaijin with bad teeth stood at the top of the stairs. He was dressed in a ridiculous blue velvet suit, and ruffled white shirt. "Now, you un-shagadelic square, I'll stop this fiendish plot of yours, yeah, baby, yeah!" Innocently putting one pinky up to his mouth, and stroking Mr. Pikasworth with his other hand, Villyn replied: "which fiendish plot would that be?" "To hold the world hostage for one hundred billion dollars by threatening to send a nuclear device into the Earth's core," the odd gaijin paused. "Oh, sorry, baby, you're not that bald-headed square, Dr. Evil, are you?" Villyn shook his head. The gaijin sweat-dropped, and adjusted his glasses. "Uh...Sorry, thought you were someone ungroovy, baby. Keep on shagging! Yeah, baby, yeah!" "Wait," Villyn cried. "How did you infiltrate my secret base and get past my Unnamed Minion?" "I'm an International Man of Mystery, baby," the gaijin replied. "It's my bag, baby." With that, he flashed a peace sign and left. Villyn stared after him for a moment. "Gaijin...oi..." He looked back at the mangled pikachu beanie-baby. "Now, where was I, Mr. Pikasworth?" " 'I love you'," Mr. Pikasworth replied. "Oh yes," Villyn nodded, "thank you, my most loyal of advisors. If only my dear Natsuko hadn't died in that tragic accident, I'd have a darling wife who would never lie to me." Villyn opened another compartment in his armour, and pulled out a picture. In it he and his wife smiled at the camera. Their two children smiled as best as babies who are too young to know the meaning of 'family portrait' can. "Perhaps one day I will tell Aki about her brother..." he looked back at the beanie-baby, "what do you think, Mr. Pikasworth?" " 'I love you'." "I agree completely. How wise you are, Mr. Pikasworth." He sighed. "If only I was as wise as you, then I wouldn't have these problems..." In the (real) basement of the Nakao household the group was swapping stories about what had happened over pizza. "I swear," Yuroko said between mouthfuls, "this Smiley Joe's Really-Honest-to-Kami-Sama- American-Style-Pizza Palace makes a great bar-b-q squid head and yak's brain pizza!" Everyone looked a little queasy. "I'm sure it's the ONLY place that makes that," Becky muttered. "What are you doing here, anyway?" Tejina demanded of Yuruko, seeking someone knew to take out her misery on. "I'm looking for the One," Yuroko replied. Kieko swallowed the last of her own pizza. "Well, you found Matsuro...so why don't you leave now? You know, get lost?" Yuroko scratched her head. "Well, I guess I could leave you alone for the rest of the night... You don't mind if I take my pizza, do you?" Since this idea was encouraged by all present, she did just that. It was only after she'd departed that Tejina realized something. "Hey that was MY pizza!" Keiko had a different complaint. "We also didn't get a chance to ask her anything." "So what happened while we were gone?" Matsuro asked, in an indifferent bishounen way. Ayame jumped at the chance to explain, but Hanaki beat her to it. "We walked around looking for you," she replied. "Where were you?" "Dream world," Matsuro replied. "And...?" Kireiko asked. "Does it matter?" Keiko protested. "Matsuro-chan is back...and Tejina too, and that's got to be a good thing!" "Because otherwise Becky would have to sing," Hanaki shuddered. Tejina bolted up. "Sing! The Tokyo Tower Music Festival! I completely forgot about the audition we have tomorrow morning." A very frightened look shown in her eyes. "Unless it already *is* tomorrow morning and we've missed it..." "It's still tonight," Becky assured her. "You never mentioned an audition before," Matsuro said in that special angst-ridden way of his. "I forgot," she said sheepishly. "I was too excited about getting the audition." Matsuro might have face-faulted, but it's so hard to tell with bishounen. Across Tokyo in another (real) basement, three teens were cranking out a catchy pop tune. A pink-haired girl in a school uniform was booming through an awesome drum solo, as she finished catching the drumstick she'd tossed in the air, a boy in a plaid suit joined in with his guitar. At last, an orange-haired girl in a skin-tight leather catsuit jumped in for the Big Finish, madly banging on her portable keyboard. "...'Give a reason for life' todoketai!" she sang as the drums and guitar combined for a few more measures and then ended the song. From the shadows, two older individuals best described by the western world as 'yuppies' removed the earplugs they'd been wearing. "Well, Ichiban," one yuppie said, "will they suffice? They're the most talented of their hatch-group." Ichiban, the other yuppie, snorted. "You're certain they match abilities with the Do-Gooders, Niban?" "Yes, Sanban trained them herself." Ichiban looked at the hopeful young threesome. Dreams of fame, record deals, and world tours filled their eyes, correction, the orange-haired girl's eyes. The pink-haired one just played with one of her pig-tails and looked bored. The guy was checking out his amp. "Oh please Uncle Ichiban!" the orange-haired girl begged, bouncing from one foot to the other like she'd had too much caffeine. "Please let us be the official band of the Dragons! Please, please, please!" Ichiban waved his hand. "Very well then, Niban, have the young ones audition before the Do-Gooders. I want to make sure they see it." "If I may ask, great Ichiban," Niban began, "why are you worrying about a high school band? Why not worry about the Seals and the Harbringers?" "Have you neglected the dedicated readings of your Dragon Protocol Handbook, Niban?" Ichiban asked, frowning. "One must never overlook potential problems. These Do-Gooders are a source of great power, and great possibility. I sense that the One is among them." "Oh, Matsuro? Yes, he is." Ichiban frowned. "Do not call the One by his given name. It is more dramatic to call him the One." "Oh, yes, wise Ichiban, you're so right. I am sorry. Please forgive my insolence." The pig-tailed girl bounced just within the line of vision of Ichiban. The yuppie frowned. "What is it, niece?" "Can we destroy the world *after* I've become a pop idol?" she asked. Ichiban considered it. An interesting ploy...to conquer the world through pop music and then once it was in his grasp, crush it like a Sapporo beer can... "Uncle Ichiban?" "Hmm...yes," he tapped his cheek in a thoughtful manner. "I will discuss it with the other elders, niece, and get back to you." "Oh goody!" she cried, and hopped around some more. Aki sat up in her room, staring at her computer. After that dinner she'd come upstairs and found that there was nothing to do. Well there was her homework, but that didn't count. So she had come online to check her mail. Twenty junk mail messages, three people still asking for her measurements, and one person asking if she was still looking for a bad band. Then there was this weird plea from someone for "the divine Aki-sama" to aid her in her battle against the one who had stolen her Washuu plushie, and another one asking "the devine Aki-sama" to help him locate someone named Sofee. Aki was considering getting a new email account, one that these freaks didn't know about, when an instant message beeped. She debated for a moment, and then clicked on it. the message read. Aki sighed. She really wasn't in the mood to deal with this particular person. Aki typed a reply. After a very long wait a reply came. Aki sighed. came the reply. She clicked on the disconnect key, and shut down her computer. The phone rang. Aki checked the clock; she had been online a while. Hopefully this wasn't someone who had been calling back for an hour. She picked it up; it was Becky on the other end. "How'd the dinner go?" Becky asked. "Terrible," Aki replied. "How'd the practice go?" "Not much better. Weird stuff is going on. But there's too much to tell you over the phone. How about I tell you tomorrow at the Tokyo Tower?" "Why are we going to the Tokyo Tower tomorrow? The music festival isn't for another few days." "Tej remembered the band has an audition tomorrow morning. Hanaki and Ayame are coming to cheer us on with Keiko. You're coming too, right?" Aki paused. Did she really have anything else to do? "I'll be there," she promised. That night Matsuro had a very odd dream. The place was packed. Everyone had heard about the awesome show the Do-Gooders put on. Plus, the band was in fine form. Tejina had never sounded better, and Becky hadn't asked if she could sing once. He continued staring off into spacing and banging out the rhythm. "Matsuro!" someone called. "My son!" Curious, Matsuro looked down to the front of the stage to see Villyn. The man was climbing up onto the stage. Tejina was trying to keep the show going, and motioning to security to come and pull him off. Villyn walked over to where Matsuro was playing. "Son! What are you doing in a band?" Villyn demanded. "Don't you want to continue in your father's proud footsteps?" Matsuro ignored Villyn, with little difficulty, and continued playing. Tejina stopped singing; Becky and Kireiko stopped playing. "You're *his* son?" Tejina gasped. "But he's so...not like you!" Matsuro stopped playing as well. There wasn't much point if only the drums were going. "What do you want, Villyn? We're trying to perform here." "Is that how you talk to your father?" Villyn asked. "It's been so long, can you at least give me a hug?" He stared blankly at the man. "Don't look at me like I'm frickin' Frankenstein," Villyn said sternly, "give your father a hug!" Matsuro woke up sweating. The walls of his apartment dissolved and were replace by walls of a basement. His mom was leaning against one of the walls, doing a crossword. "Matsuro, if you go to the Tokyo Tower tomorrow, you will have to face the Dragons," she told him. "You don't know what a three letter word for a writing implement is, do you?" "How about 'pen', Mom?" he suggested. "Is this the start of a trend of 'normal' vision dreams?" "Well, for now it is. The administration decided the apocalyptic dreams weren't clearly getting across the message to you, so we're trying a new approach. The traditionalists complained, of course. I tell you, we'd all go crazy trying to please everyone." Matsuro nodded slightly. "But the band has an audition tomorrow, Mom. I have to go to the Tokyo Tower." She closed the crossword puzzle and looked disappointed. "You're so stubborn, just like your father. Fine, go to the Tower; see if I care. But you remember that I warned you it was a trap." With that, the vision faded. Aki came to find the others were already waiting outside the front entrance of the Tokyo Tower. She noticed Tejina's shortened hair, and stopped to offer words of sympathy. "So, what should we play for the audition?" Kireiko asked. "This is a good place to try out that super-secret song we've been practicing," Tejina replied. "The judges will get their socks knocked off by 'Candied Rainbow Pegasus! Crash! Crash! Smash!'" Becky doubled over laughing. "The inspiration came from Da Pump's 'Coffee Scotch Mermaid~Bang!Bang!Boom!'," Tejina explained. "What's so funny, Becky?" "The fact that it's a real song..." the gaijin replied, choked up. "Let's go inside," Aki gestured. Matsuro hesitated as everyone went through the doors. Aki looked back. "What's wrong, Matsuro?" she asked. His mother's words of warning echoed through his head, but he shrugged them off. They'd faced the Teletubbies; no dragon could possibly be as threatening as those creatures. "Nothing, Aki." The Tokyo Tower was a tall building, as most towers tend to be. After much searching, arguing, and pleading for the boys to just stop and ask directions, they found the room where the band auditions were being held. "This seems pretty legitimate," Becky remarked. "Why wouldn't it be?" Tejina asked. "Because most of our gigs have been traps." "Oh, that's true." The group wandered in and sat down in a few chairs lying about. Another band was ahead of them. Kireiko suggested they listen to see what they were up against. Two girls and a guy were finishing setting up. The one girl had orange hair, and was wearing a leather catsuit. The other girl was wearing a school uniform, and had her dyed-pink hair in pig-tails. The guy was wearing a yellow plaid suit. "Hi everyone!" the orange-haired girl smiled, and waved to them. "I'm Koohii, this is Scotch on the guitar, and Mermaid on the drums!" The Do-Gooders collectively sweatdropped. "You have got to be kidding me..." Becky said. "Probably just stage names," Tejina replied. "Like ours." "Ours aren't English words," Kireiko reminded her. "I'm sure the judges aren't taking things like that into consideration," Becky assured them. "But what if they are?" Tejina worried. "I should have thought of that." "Just 'chill out, babe'," Kireiko advised. Koohii had been rambling on during this conversation, giving brief biographies of her fellow band members. "Together," she continued, "we're the Dragon Childe!" "Wasn't that a name we tried out for a while?" Kireiko asked. Everyone shushed him. "Now, we're going to play our brand new song for you! It's called 'Candied Rainbow Pegasus! Crash!Crash!Smash!'. I wrote it all by myself and we hope you like it!" Tejina's mouth dropped. "That's our song!" "Maybe it's a different song, with just the same title," Kireiko suggested. "That's got to be a common title because it sounds so 'cool'." Matsuro looked up. "Did they say something about being Dragons?" "The Dragon Childe," Keiko replied. "Whatever that means." "Stupid name!" Hanaki agreed. "Go Do-Gooders!" Matsuro shrugged. Probably just a coincidence, he told himself. Dragon Childe started to play. " I was waiting for the bus," Koohii sang, bouncing around the stage. "[Crash! Crash! Smash!" Scotch and Mermaid sang while they played. "The wind was blowing cold" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "It was raining hard" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "The thunder was awful" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" Koohii ran over to the right side of the stage. "You had just told me sayonara" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "My heart was broken" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "I couldn't think of what to do" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "There just seemed no end in sight!" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" She jumped back to the center stage, "Ooooh Ooooh Save me from my loneliness" Mermaid and Scotch joined in on the "Candied Rainbow Pegasus" "Whoa Whoa Show me the way to the sunshine" "Candied Rainbow Pegasus" To the left side of the stage now. "I was all...all alone" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "I was just so sad" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "And I was soaked to the heart" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "From the storm outside and in" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "How could you just tell me sayonara" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "And my heart was broken" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "I couldn't think of what to do" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "There just seemed no end in sight" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" Back to center stage, wave and smile at the judges. We're doing fabulous, Koohii thought as she launched into the second refrain. " Ooooh Ooooh then he came along" "Candied Rainbow Pegasus" "Whoa Whoa and the sun came out" "Candied Rainbow Pegasus" Scotch began his guitar solo, racing through the cords and somehow managing not to blow up the amp. Great! Koohii thought, dancing around at the front of the stage. Mermaid went to her drum solo, did her stick-toss trick, and Scotch joined back in with the guitar, gearing up for the bridge. Koohii pounded on the keyboard and started on the last verse. "Now I can't hear your sayonara" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "And my heart's no longer broken" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "I learned to enjoy the thunder" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" "With a little help from my new friend" "Crash! Crash! Smash!" Get ready for the Big Finish, Koohii told the judges silently. Here we go! "Ooooh Ooooh I'm so happy I found you" "Candied Rainbow Pegasus" "Rainbows are my favorite part of the storm" "Candied Rainbow Pegasus" Cue her very own keyboard solo, and then wind the song down in a flourish of cymbals. She bowed before the small audience. They loved us! Koohii thought. I'm on my way to being a real Diva! Koohii stepped back and bowed again. "Thank you! I love you guys! You're so great, all of you!" She blew kisses at the Do-Gooders until Scotch stepped in and stopped her. Becky was rolling on the floor in hysterics. "Oh my god..." The lead singer of Dragon Childe may have been thrilled with herself, but certain others were not. Tejina looked mad enough to kill someone. "You stole our song! Or at least the basic idea for our song! I know our lyrics are better!" Matsuro got a bad feeling about this. It was one of those tingly feelings that feel similar to when one's arm falls asleep. Or when one drops something heavy on one's toe and their foot proceeds to go numb. Koohii looked at Matsuro. "Hey, you're the one Uncle Ichiban told us to capture!" " 'Uncle Ichiban'?" Becky echoed. "Who's that?" Matsuro really hated when his mother was right. "It's a trap," he replied, and pulled out his sword. "I think these are the dragons my mom keeps warning me about." "I thought your mother was dead," Aki replied. "She is." Everyone stopped to give him a 'you're weird' look, and then hell broke loose. will Dragon Childe capture Matsuro for Uncle Ichiban? are they really these dragons that Matsuro's mom keeps warning him about? is Koohii on some kind of drugs? is Villyn going to climb up on the stage at the music festival? will the Do-Gooders ever make it to the Music Festival? will they ever play a gig that isn't some sort of trap? are the Seals and the Harbringers in on this trap? are Warui and Maeda? what about Brother Maynard? Jodie Foster? the Teletubbies? Shubby-chan? my English Literature Teacher? will anyone be able to top 309 words in a run-on sentence? and why didn't I type my questions all in capitals like everyone else does? Well, I don't type all in capitals because I don't have a sticky shift key, and I don't think my Eng Lit teacher is THAT evil, but she's pretty close. As for the other questions, that's up to Emily Robertson, which is good because I honestly don't know. Wow, that was...short, ne? Shall I make up for it in author's notes? I just might. ^_^ First off, [THANKS] to Jonatan Streith and Philip Barkow for the much needed and appreciated pre/proof-reading of the first draft. The second draft was proofread by the DG OW!! Kireiko-chanians. So address the messages about spelling and grammar error to them. ^_^ The reason this was so short was basically because I haven't had time to breathe this past month, let alone write. I wasn't home for the better part of the week, and had to crunch to get something at all written. Explanation of my insane story now. I was going to do a massive dream sequence...but David-san already did. So I fell back on plan B: scramble like hell to find something to write. Since I never got around to actually having a battle between the members of two bands in the omake, I figured why not try to get it played out in the main series? Also, everyone had drug out the Seals and the Harbringers, but I couldn't remember anyone introducing someone who was a Dragon. So now there's three in your face, and two that hid in the shadows and talked about another one. Also, I changed the motto because it's been near 30 stories and I was really getting sick of the old one. Feel free to change it back or make up your own. "Coffee Scotch Mermaid~Bang!Bang!Boom!" really is a song, and Da Pump really is a group. "Candied Rainbow Pegasus Crash!Crash!Smash!" was supposed to be a spoof, but they only share the way the sound effects are repeated throughout the song. The lyrics are actually more like a poorly written version of Martina's Image song from Slayers Next, "Ame no Far Away". This is because I have no idea what the lyrics to CSM~BBB actually mean. And yes, I had a lot of sugar before writing it. The Austin Powers reference is because: (A) I wanted to write DG because of Villyn being like Dr. Evil and it's been ticking me off that he's been swaying from that type of character, and (B) I'm very excited for Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. The line "Don't look at me like I'm frickin Frankenstein, give your father a hug" was said by Dr. Evil in the first AP movie. There is a Slayers reference. Koohii is finishing singing the last line of the best, IMHO, opening theme (Give A Reason from Next) at the Dragon Childe practice. No special reason for the band's name really. They're dragons…they're children…it all makes sense in Lady C logic. Direct the comments and angry mobs to cdrmoon@uniserve.com or dgml@onelist.com