Do-Gooders The Proactive Teen Superhero Team With No X Anywhere In Their Title A FanArt HQ / Spoof Chase Improfanfic http://pixelscapes.com/improfanfic Episode Thirty-seven: Rainy days and rainy moods. by Phoebe (Ami_of_mercury@hotmail.com) Original story concept by Stefan Gagne = = = = = Aki stared into the mirror. "What's happened to you?" she asked silently. "Your biggest problem used to be making sure Dad didn't ruin the prom. Now you have to deal with another personality that likes to wear embarrassing clothes, fight legions of people and things that want to kill you, and will possibly have to choose between marrying your brother or condemning the world to darkness. What went wrong?" Her reflection didn't answer. "Yeah, I didn't think you'd know," she sighed, and struggled into her school uniform. Throwing her regulation school raincoat over one arm, she glanced out the window. Heavy silver drops splattered into the glass, streaking down through the grime that had built up on it. "Perfect," she muttered. "Just perfect." = = = = = "Tejina!! Get out of the bathroom!!" "You can wait one more minute, Hanaki!!" "You guys, I need to brush my teeth!!" "If you kids don't stop yelling, you're all grounded!!!!" The three sisters blinked in unison. "Yes, Mom," they mumbled. "Right. Since it's raining, I'm taking you to school. You have ten minutes to get in the car." "The bathroom is mine!" "Mine!" "Mine!" Mrs Nakao sighed, and wondered if putting in another bathroom wouldn't be such a bad idea. Or maybe two. Later, as they hurried into the scool, Hanaki and Ayame interrogated Tejina on the mysterious meeting she'd attended last night. "It wasn't very exciting," she replied to their enthusiastic questioning. "They said that my training would have to wait until they got some more har, and that I was welcome to stay and watch TV, but I wouldn't be a real Harbringer until I'd trained, so they couldn't tell me about any of their secret plans or anything. They told me to watch out for any Seals, and those Dragon Childe people, and to use my sword if I got into any trouble, and they'd come. Oh, and they wanted to know my favourite pizza." She noticed the odd looks they were giving her and stopped. "What? Do I have something on my nose?" "Has Ayame been giving you lessons, sis?" Hanaki grinned. "That was very... expositional." "Hey!" Ayame shouted, mock-indignant, and the three raced into the shelter of the school, giggling together. Having sisters was pretty nice, Tejina reflected. = = = = = Kireiko heard the bell ring when he was still two blocks away. Cursing violently, he ducked into a convenient alleyway, and tore his school shirt off, stuffing it in his bag and pulling his raincoat on in a attempt to conceal his bare chest. Since he was a lot bigger in his oni form, it was a pretty ridiculous-looking attempt, but with oni-speed, and a bit of luck, he wouldn't be *too* late... Racing down the hall at top speed, he skidded to a halt and nipped into the classroom on the heels of his teacher. He sidled quickly to his desk as the man busied himself with lifting the roll book out of his bag and sank into his seat with a sigh of relief. A hand landed on his shoulder. "Nice outfit," his new friend Yumeki whispered, a wicked grin lighting up her eyes. To his intense pique, Kireiko blushed. = = = = = Time passed. Classes went on. Lessons were learnt. Hanaki threw up on the eyeball she dissected for Biology. Just the ordinary, everyday, boring school morning. = = = = = Keiko strode through the school halls, teachers cowering against the walls. This lunchtime, she would ignore the pleasures of covering with her friends in favour of having her questions answered. Her clothes were dark, her mood was dark, her purpose was dark. She intended to find those that called themselves Dragon Childe and discover how it was that the dead could walk again, and nothing could sway her from her research into the dark world of dark deeds- Matsuro walked across the intersection ahead of her. Keiko's intentions evaporated like snowflakes in a supernova as she happily raced after the brooding bishounen. "Matsuro!" she called. He turned around, smiling in recognition. She almost melted on the spot, but stayed corporeal enough to link their arms together. "How are you?" she cooed. Matsuro's air of almost-pleasure vanished. "I'm worried about Aki." "Cos she's your sister? Are you worried that you'll still have to marry her?" Matsuro shook his head. "There is no way I'm doing *that*. It's just... has she seemed depressed to you lately?" Any of Matsuro's other friends would have instantly picked up on the irony of that question, but Keiko didn't even blink. "Maybe a little," she conceded. "But I'm sure that we can talk her out of it. After all, between us there's almost nothing we can't do, ne?" Matsuro nodded, smiling again. Keiko snuggled up closer to him, and they swayed down the hall together. Mariko stepped around the corner and frowned as she watched the couple go. "Him again," she muttered. "I might have to do something about him." Yumeki popped up beside her. "Do you have to?" she whined. "He's really cute!" "Yeah," Yaki said wistfully. Yumeki boggled at her. "I can't believe you said that!" she shouted. "*You* want to have wild sex with someone? The world must be ending!" She just had time to notice the sudden silence in the hall, the number of people that were staring at her, and the rage on Yaki's face. Then she noticed the window. Mariko ignored the sudden crash, and continued to stare after the happy pair. "I have to make you remember, Darkness," she whispered. "I have to make you see." "What was that?" Yaki asked, dusting off her hands. "Listen to me closely. This is what we're doing tonight." = = = = = The rain had forced everybody to stay inside for lunch, and the smell of wet raincoats and musty linoleum hovered over the cloakroom where the Do-Gooders were huddled together. They were supposed to stay inside their homerooms for lunch, but the teachers had all escaped to the staffroom, leaving the students to amuse themselves. Which they were managing quite competently. A horde of jocks thundered past, tossing a ball to each other and laughing uproariously. Kireiko stared yearningly after them, but Hanaki was holding his hand quite firmly, in a manner that suggested she'd not be happy if he tried to leave. Besides, having her do that was kinda nice. Idly wondering what else Hanaki might do, Kireiko spotted three figures making their way towards the group. "Here comes trouble," he warned, gently untangling himself from Hanaki's grip. "Feh," Tejina grumbled. "We've beaten them twice. Once with heaps of other people to beat too. You think they'd have figured it out by now." "Actually, we've beaten them three times, if you count Keiko butchering them mercilessly," Aki pointed out, her tone flat and lifeless. Tejina winced, and tried not to think about it. "What's wrong, Aki?" Becky asked. "You're normally a little more cheerful." "It doesn't matter." "Hey!" Koohii proclaimed loudly. "We want to have a *talk* with you!" "Who, me?" Becky asked. "Look, I'm here to learn, not to fight. You can fight us later." Koohii tossed her orange-dyed hair angrily. "I don't want to fight with you," she protested. "I want to talk to you! You and that scary girl with the big knife." She shuddered. "Where is she, anyway?" "Talk to us? Why?" Becky asked. "Because you're Wildcards, of course," a new voice supplied. Sakyou and Yoruko stepped into view, both of them holding flat black boxes. "Scat, Dragons," he smiled, sending a hard stare at the three Dragon Childe. "We're not scared of you!" Koohii shouted. "We're just..." Scotch whispered in her ear. "...going to find the scary girl with the big knife and tell her all about the advantages of serving MY champion! So there!" Yoruko shrugged. "Whatever. Get out of here." The three vamoosed, Koohii sending back petulant glances. Yoruko ignored them in favour of examining the watching faces. "Accounting for the One and that WildCard who we saw sneaking over to the equipment shed together, you're still missing one," she mused. "Sailor Ice?" "Sailor Winter," Ayame replied, automatically going into exposition. "She's the Champion of Coldness and one of the lesser Sailors in the Sailor Team, originally hailing from Kalter, the Diamond City of Snow, and Grandpa Chiang sent her back to her home town with a communicator, so that she wouldn't miss any school and her parents wouldn't be worried and she would still be able to talk to us whenever we needed her and..." she trailed off, noticing the expressions on the faces of her friends. "...I'm sorry," she said in a tiny voice, seeming to shrink into herself. "It's okay, sis," Hanaki said brightly. "These people are our friends, right?" The two Harbringers gave each other guarded looks before Yoruko replied. "Possibly. Right now, we're your allies, certainly. You don't have to fear us, unless you do something we don't like." "Thank you for clearing that up," Tejina remarked dryly. "What's in the boxes? Pizza? Hawaiian with extra pineapple, remember?" Sakyou laughed. "Oh no! This is our latest batch of har." Tejina perked up. "Har? Sugoi! Can I see it?" She made a grab for the box, but Sakyou held it easily out of her reach, grinning. "You can't see it yet," he reproved smilingly. "You have to wait until training tonight. And you're welcome to come too," he addded, looking at Becky. Tejina blinked. "Tonight? We have practice tonight. Sorry, we'll have to make it another time." "What? No! The-" "Bell just rang!" Hanaki screeched. "Come on, we're gonna be late!" As one, the Do-Gooders leapt to their feet and scattered to their respective classes, leaving Sakyou and Yoruko to stare after them. "*Now* will you believe me when I say they're not taking this seriously enough?" Yoruko asked. Sakyou frowned. "They're just kids, Yoru-chan. Leave them alone." "We're exactly the same age," Yoruko pointed out. "And don't call me Yoru-chan." "But it sounds so cute!" Sakyou grinned. "Come on, let's take the har to Hirata. If it's late she'll probably flay us." The two vanished. = = = = = = = = = = Hiryuu lay on his bed, hands behind his head, and gazed at the ceiling, listening to the rain patter on the roof and thinking of Aki. She was so beautiful... so perfect... so good... and she'd rejected his proposal. It *had* been a little sudden, he conceded reluctantly. But hey, subtlety wasn't supposed to be a trait of dragons. Still, maybe he should try another angle? He briefly contemplated asking her on a date or something, then rejected the idea as far too commonplace. Aki deserved something special... His eyes fell on a volume of fairy tales in the corner of his desk, and he suddenly grinned. Yeah, that was it! After all, Aki was a princess... = = = = = "Aki-chan!" Villyn boomed. "The minions and I are leaving for the Mad Scientists' League. We're trying to get some special rockets for Camper's rocket launcher. And then we shall TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!" He placed his pinky to his mouth in approved fashion and waited. Aki appeared at the top of the stairs, fuming. "DAD! Don't embarrass me! Have you any idea of how stupid this whole-" Villyn smiled happily, tuning out the steady stream of disapproval. As long as his little Aki-chan could still deliver stern lectures, everything between them would be just fine. "Dad! Have you listened to a word I've said?" "No, dear. I'm leaving you the Shadow and... that reality warping boy. Get yourself some dinner, and don't go to bed too late." Aki nodded, and Villyn swept out, his cloak swirling dramatically behind him. Dad had seemed more cheerful than of late, she mused. Had he come to a decision about Charity? Or had he just decided to ignore the problem, as he did most obstacles? "Aki-sama! Shall we prepare dinner?" Aki looked down at the two minions, who were almost vibrating in their eagerness to serve. "Yeah, sure," she replied. "Yes, Aki-sama!" the Blue-Faced Black Shadow barked out. "Would you like pizza?" Aki blinked. Pizza? Strange coincidence, or was there a connection? She mentally shook herself. You're getting paranoid, she told herself firmly. "Pizza would be fine," she told him. "And maybe some potato wedges or a salad with it? I'm in my room, call me down for dinner." And she walked back into her room, eyes going directly to the computer on her desk. = = = = = Yaki, Yumeki, Mariko and Kahi made their way through the near-deserted streets, taking care to avoid the puddles. They were wearing normal clothing. (Or in Yumeki's case, a bright pink raincoat over a red terrycloth jumpsuit, coupled with orange high heeled sneakers.) Their fukus were certainly streamlined for action and even provided some protection against attacks, but they weren't very good at keeping one dry. Besides, Mariko had reasoned, any evil doers stupid enough to go out in this weather would be easily defeated anyway. Yaki thought that this begged the question of why *they* were braving the elements, but didn't voice her thoughts, preferring to live with as many bodyparts as she was born with. She threw another look at Mariko, ahead of her, and deep in conversation with her sibilant advisor, then motioned Yumeki further back. "Why are we doing this again?" she whispered. Yumeki gave her a weird look. "Because Mariko told us to," she replied. "But why?" Yaki persisted. "According to Kahi, Darkness was the strongest of all of us! It won't be easy to capture her, even without her little friends about, and we were making progress with the Poison Feed. Why is Mariko so insistent on this?" Yumeki laughed merrily, a disturbing sound in the wind-swept night. "I can believe that you wouldn't like it!" she remarked. "But that you wouldn't even consider it as a possiblity..." "What are you *talking* about?" Yaki asked, thoroughly frustrated. "Oh look, a cute little bunny!" Thus distracted from the topic of conversation, Yaki bent down and picked up the afore-mentioned bunny, cuddling it to her and stroking it gently. "Put me down. Now," it growled. Yaki blinked. "Did you just talk?" she asked it. The rabbit sneered, an odd expression on its adorably cute face. "No, it was the little yellow pixies that dance in the garden. Of course I talked! Now put me down, or I'll have to hurt you." "Oh, how cute!" Yumeki squealed. "Do you think Mariko would be upset if I got myself an advisor?" Yaki shuddered, imagining it. "Yes," she replied bluntly. "Come on, let's just hurry up and kill it. We have to catch up." With a faint SNIKT! the rabbit unfolded a switchblade, holding it mere millimetres away from Yumeki's face. "You're kinda cute, toots, and I'm in a hurry, so I'll make a deal. You put me down nice and slow, and I let you leave with your nose." Very slowly, and very carefully, Yumeki lowered the rabbit to the ground. Then, just as slow, and just as careful, she stepped back, groping for Yaki's jacket with one hand. In a sudden flurry of movement, she grabbed Yaki by the sleeve, and started running after the pair ahead. With sudden clarity, she knew that the image of the knife about to begin unanesthetized plastic surgery would appear in her nightmares until she died. The rabbit watched them go, folding the switchblade away. "Amateurs!" it sniffed scornfully, then bounced off cutely, cursing the rain. = = = = = The Blue-Faced Black Shadow hummed a tune as he left Jim's Honest-To-Kami-Sama American Pizza Parlour, a steaming pile of plastic-wrapped boxes safely held in his capable hands. Halfway there he'd realised that he hadn't known Aki-sama's favourite pizza, so he'd settled for ordering every one on the menu, emptying his bank account, and hoping that she liked at least one of them. It was a shame that the ambrosia option hadn't been available, that one was guaranteed to satisfy the fussiest of divine appetites. A dark shape suddenly whirled out of an alley and pinned him to the ground. "I would have preferred female blood," it hissed. "But you'll do!" He kicked it in the stomach, and it staggered back, cursing in English. Its fangs were clearly visible. "Too weak," it muttered. "Need blood..." It leapt at him again, arms outstretched. The Shadow's eyes narrowed. This shinma had knocked the pizzas into a puddle! Aki-sama would have to wait for her supper! "For Aki-sama!" he proclaimed dramatically, raising his arms. Shadows whirled around him, striking out at the vampire like whips. It staggered back again, struggling to keep on its feet. With heroic effort, the BBS managed to congeal the shadow whips into a giant being, a flickering sword of blackest night in its hands. It struck out at the vampire, scoring a line across its chest. The creature howled, finally breaking, and ran for its life... er, death. The BBS briefly considered following it, but spotted the sprawled boxes. Resolutely gathering them up and dumping them in the nearest trashcan, (hey, even minions of evil overlords should be eco-friendly) he strode back into Joe's. Maybe if he washed dishes for a while they'd pay him with pizza? = = = = = "What's wrong today, Tej?" Hanaki asked. "I've never seen you play the wrong notes before. And you forgot the words to 'Semi-Summer Dreamer Automatic.' You *love* that song!" Tejina sighed. "Let's take a break, guys," she suggested. "We've been practicing non-stop for over an hour. I'm probably just burnt out." The others nodded, and sat down to talk to each other. All except Becky, who conspiciously avoided Tejina's curious look, and turned her back, pretending to play a few notes on her bass. Tejina approached her. "You feel it too, right?" she whispered. "If by that you mean that I'm experiencing some form of mystical beacon call that's making me feel uncomfortable because I'm not obeying it, then no, I don't," Becky snapped, turning her back again. Then she swung around to face her friend, trenchcoat fading away, and tattoos flaring. "Sailor Delight! We must follow the call! It speaks of events to come in which we must play a part!" Tejina backed off a bit. "Uh, yeah," she stammered. "Should we take them with us?" She indicated the others with a flick of her chin. Becky considered it. "Probably not," she replied. "It might be something involving only Harbringers." "But you're not a Harbringer," Tejina pointed out. "And if WildCards were invited, Keiko would feel it too." "Right now, the only thing Keiko's feeling is the arm Matsuro has draped oh-so-casually around her," Becky giggled, sounding more like herself. "Let's just go, okay? It's getting more urgent. Makes me feel... itchy." Tejina flicked a glance over her shoulder. Matsuro did indeed have one casual arm around Keiko. And Kireiko was... doing the biggest yawn she'd ever seen, his arms stretching up and around - around Hanaki actually. Tejina grinned. It was nice that her sister had found someone. Even if he picked you first, a tiny jealous voice whispered. Tejina mentally jumped up and down on the voice, locking it in an imaginary safe and tossing it into a metaphorical ocean for good measure. Then she shivered as the skin at the back of her neck prickled painfully for a second. "Let's go," she agreed. The two made their way up the stairs and through the house, pausing only to pick up umbrellas, grimacing at the weather. "Why do we do this?" Tejina asked. Becky shrugged. "Cos life wouldn't be nearly as exciting without it!" she grinned. And with a snap, she opened her umbrella, Tejina following her down the street. = = = = = A long pause, the seconds flicking by, the possibilities stretching out, destiny and decisions and possibly the fate of the world hangs in the balance here... Yes or no? The choice made, the destiny decided. Yes. Right or wrong? Significant or not? Uncertain. Down in the kitchen, T-kun was unaware of the happenings upstairs, significant or otherwise. He was too busy wielding a spatula and chasing the potato wedges he'd made. "Stay still!" he grunted, thumping down hard. The wedges somersaulted in unison, jumped up onto the kitchen table, poked out tiny white tongues and vanished in a puff of rainbow smoke. The boy grumbled under his breath, and decided that just pizza would be fine. Where was Shadow anyway? He should have been back by now. A girl with short magenta hair abruptly appeared in front of him, holding a strange chain-like weapon. "Hi!" she smiled. "Remember me? Hanko? The guys in black?" The boy nodded warily. "You didn't even know I was coming!" she lectured. "A good Seal should always be aware of their surroundings and potential threats." "Uh... I didn't know," T-kun stammered. "I don't even think I know how to tell if someone's coming." Apparently, this was a salient point. Hanko's grin broadened. "That's right!" she acknowledged happily. "So, you obviously need training, right?" "I guess-" "Great!" she interrupted. "Let's go!" "What, now? I mean, I'm supposed to stay to protect Aki-sama and her guest and-" "Another thing you have to know is that a good Seal always obeys orders," she said firmly, no longer smiling. "We're leaving, now!" "But-" A split-second later, the spatula clattered on the kitchen floor. The kitchen itself was now empty. = = = = = Spike was exhausted, and the wound across his chest was aching fiercely. What was wrong with this crazy city? It seemed that everyone he attacked was insanely overpowered, and out for his blood. This, he felt vaguely, was an upset in the natural order of things. His lust for blood filled his eyes with a red haze so that he barely saw the young girl walk into the alley. An isolated little girl in a deserted area. She didn't seem to have any weapons, she wasn't wearing robes, and her skirt wasn't unnaturally high. Enough in-depth analysis. Time to move. He stumbled into the alley after her, cursing the weakness in his body. As he lunged towards the girl, he spotted the animal under her arm. A lizard? "DESPAIRING MOOD STEALER!" It came from behind, and it caught him full in the face as he pivoted to meet it. Suddenly not caring any more, Spike sank to the ground and huddled into a ball. Dimly, he heard the steps of the first girl come towards him. She curiously poked him with her foot. "Thank you, Despair," she said, her voice smooth satisfaction. "I wasn't sure how fast he'd be." The other girl grunted. "He's kinda cute, Light!" chimed in a third voice. "Are you sure I can't have wild sex with him?" "No, Hatred. Definitely not." "Ohhhh...." "But that doesn't mean we can't have fun with him, does it?" Light asked. "Kahi, how long has it been since I brutally slaughtered someone?" "Almossst sssixsss hoursss, Mariko." "That long? I must be losing my touch. Come on, girls, we've got some time. Let's have some fun!" Crippled with despair and weakened with lack of blood, Spike couldn't even scream as he felt the first blow... = = = = = The doorbell rang. Aki stayed staring at her screen for a few seconds, then switched off the computer. Her e-mail was just getting weirder and weirder. The threatening, yet extremely polite letter from some maniac who called herself NightWitch was probably the most sane. Looking in the mirror, she flicked back her hair a bit, and gave herself a half-hearted smile. Not very convincing, but it was nice of Wataru to come. Flattering, really. Enough of this! She was being rude, leaving him at the door like this. She almost flew down the stairs, dark hair flying behind her, and lunging for the doorhandle before one of those screwy minions could get it. She frowned for a second, momentarily distracted. She hadn't heard the usual chorus of "I'll get it!" The door swung wide. "Hi!" a young man smiled. "I'm Wataru. Aki?" Whoa. This guy was cute. She realised she was staring at him, and blushed. "Uh yeah," she blurted. "I'm Aki." Deep within her mind, something stirred uneasily... He smiled again, a charming smile that lit up deep brown eyes. "May I come in?" he asked. Aki smiled back. "Sure!" she replied. [NO!] The unexpected scream was Sailor Joy's, and the impact sent her reeling. Aki staggered back, suddenly horribly aware of a terrible danger. Wataru's smile widened into a nasty grin, and he stepped across the threshold to reveal... "Esjie!" she gasped, backing away. [You invited him in! You INVITED him in!] Sailor Joy screamed. [Transform!] She groped for her brooch, not taking her eyes off the pair in the doorway. Where was it? Her hand closed on a familiar object. Good thing I took the time to change the outfit, she thought for a moment, before the thought was squashed. No time for that now. She pressed the button, and a symphony of green special effects flared around her, melting her jeans and t-shirt into the now a lot more decent (but by her standards, not exactly enough) uniform of Sailor Joy. Wataru grinned. "So Maeda was right after all..." "JOYFUL CLEANSING LIGHT!" she shouted, pointing at the casually clad cultist (avoid alliteration always). The beam of all-destroying light flew forward... ...and was intercepted by a barrier of total darkness. Wataru just grinned. [This guy is powerful!] the voice of Sailor Joy yelled in her mind. [RUN!] She did run, or at least tried. But Wataru raised his hands and spoke a single word, and coils of a sticky black substance wrapped around her, holding her motionless. "Oh no, Aki-chan," he grinned. "You invited me in." Aki's answering glare was full of defiance. She wasn't beaten yet! "SHADOW!!" she yelled. "T-KUN!! HELP ME!!!!!" Her only reply was silence. "Nighty night..." Wataru murmured, and the world went black. = = = = = Hiryuu flew through the night, enjoying the beauty of the moon reflected off the clouds. Above the rain, he could revel in the strength of his huge blue wings, the speeds he could attain, the awesome joy of flight. And best of all, the skies were his alone, all flights to and from Narita airport cancelled because of the weather. A small impulse at the back of his mind twinged, and he smoothly banked, drifting through the clouds. He was confident of finding Aki underneath them - as a dragon, the world seemed so much simpler. Buzzing with excitement, he folded his wings and dived. He wouldn't want to be late for his princess, after all! = = = = = From the moment Maeda had known that the girl they were after was one of the Do-Gooders, he had been more than slightly worried. And even after he'd explained to Wataru that the girl was amazingly powerful, had powerful friends, *lived* with her powerful (if moronically stupid, he amended privately) father, and was worshipped as a goddess by five powerful minions - all of whom also lived with her - Wataru hadn't been concerned which meant the man was either insane or a master at the black arts, and either way, Maeda wasn't going to risk a second patient explanation. He staggered out of the house, the unconscious girl draped unceremoniously over his shoulder. He had *known* he'd be the one to carry her, but that didn't make her any lighter. Grunting, he walked along the street towards the red sports car parked at the corner. Wataru was already there, revving up the engine impatiently. Maeda shrugged uncomfortably and tried to move the girl into an easier carrying position. From supreme ruler of the DarkVerse to a mere cargo handler! The indignity was almost insupportable! Then he stopped, eyes wide, mouth gaping, and all thoughts of status forgotten. Rounding the corner at a steady jog were two *more* of those infernal short-skirted girls! The blue-haired one shouted something, obviously recognising him, and they both broke into a sprint. He hoisted the girl up and lumbered on, trying to run. Until a steady jet of flame streamed by his face, scorching his eyebrows and instantly evaporating raindrops. He turned to run the other way, and stopped again, the huge blue dragon hissing at him serving as an effective barrier. Maeda dropped his burden and backed away, hoping that the dragon might gorge itself on her before it thought of him for dessert. It hopped forward, huge tail whipping furiously and beady black eyes fixed on him menacingly, hovering over the girl in a manner that could be described as... protective? "CARDO SUWARU!!!" Maeda's back suddenly hurt in dozens of places as small cuts began to bleed. And then, just to confirm that yes, this was definitely the worst day in his life, a woman wearing a black negligee staggered out of the Villyn house and down the pathway. "Hey!" she slurred, peering at him blearily. "Don't I recognishe you?" Maeda suddenly hoped that the dragon would kill him. IS THIS THE OFFICIAL WORST DAY OF MAEDA'S LIFE? WILL CHARITY POUND HIM INTO LITTLE ITTY BITTY BITS? WILL HIRYUU? WILL TEJINA AND BECKY? WILL THE NAKAO'S DOG? WILL THE BBS EVENTUALLY GET HIS PIZZA? WILL TEJINA EVER GET SOME HAR? WILL THE EVIL SAILORS KIDNAP KEIKO? WHERE HAVE T-KUN AND HANKO GONE? AND IS THE RAIN SYMBOLIC, OR MERELY A REFLECTION OF THE FACT THAT IT'S BEEN RAINING FOR DAYS IN THE AUTHOR'S HOMETOWN? In between coming up with interesting ways to kill Steven Scougall and fighting off massive migraines, this was written. I'm kidding, Steve, your ep was brilliant ^_^, and I loved it. I'm sorry, this is not up to the usual standards of this improfanfic, and it's definitely not up to my personal standards, but at least it's done. Sorry, no theme song this time :P. BIG thanks to Jonatan Streith, for pre-reading and suggesting some ideas, and to everyone on the DGML, who keep me laughing. May the insanity continue! Phoebe.