|<--------------Set your text viewer window to this wide-------------->| In the infinite multiverse, several superheroic individuals were gathered by a frivolous goddess of disorder. They banded together to fight a great evil force out to destroy all reality. But since they are currently located several galaxies away, we won't be hearing from them in THIS episode. ======================================================= Improfanfic's ____ ___ ____ ___ ___ ____ ____ ____ ____ | _ \ / _ \ __ / ___| / _ \ / _ \ | _ \ | __|| _ \ / __| | |_> || |_| ||__|| |_ || |_| || |_| || |_> || _||| _ < \__ \ |____/ \___/ \__,_| \___/ \___/ |____/ |____||_| \_||____/ 1999 (The Proactive Teen Superhero Team With An X Somewhere...) http://www.improfanfic.com Do-Gooders Episode 52: Escalation! The [Eight] Gods Must Be Crazy! Episode Written by Signus Megido (maramala@hotmail.com) Original Do-Gooders story concept by Stefan Gagne, 1998 ======================================================= STORY SO FAR: LONG VERSION: Ask Ayame. SHORT VERSION: Due to a blatant display of dwarven discrimination, Spike the vampire was revived. He quickly vampirized the Dragon Childe, who were too incompetent to notice him even with their draconic abilities. After a brief sibling spat, wherein our heroine Tejina's lack of a boyfriend was harshly brought into light, the Do-Gooders finally decided to go look for their missing fellow bandmate. Kireiko, the aforementioned missing member of the Do-Gooders, has gone to the Dark Side... Or has he? Darth Kireiko, er, I mean Cthulhu-Kireiko, was subsequently attacked by Villyn's latest hairbrained mad-scientist type invention in the form of orbital moonbeam bombardment. Meeting up with the Do-Gooders and the now-vampiric Dragon Childe, Kireiko managed not only to escape, but to take Hanaki with him. While the Dragon Childe were moondusted by a familiar attack, Keiko disappeared. Meanwhile, Aki was abducted by forces of Shubby-chan's Happy Happy Joy Joy Fun Club. And with that unhappy note, we continue the insanity... ====== "Keiko!" Matsuro called out, his normally stony features showing signs of worry. "She's... disappeared." Becky stated the obvious. "No doubt a new player has entered the scene, taking advantage of the distraction presented by meeting the Dragon Childe and our friend Kireiko, who seemed to be under the influence of a malevolent alien force..." Everyone dove for cover before turning to the new arrivals. "Ayame!" Tejina interrupted her once-mother-now-sister's expositioning. "What are you doing here?" "Hi Koji," Becky greeted one of the arrivals. "H-hi..." Koji weakly waved back, averting his eyes from directly looking at Sailor Rapture. He tried not to look really embarrassed as he was still wearing the tuxedo getup that somehow complemented Becky's fashion designer nightmare. The green-dyed-haired pseudo-sister pouted cutely. "How could you all just go off to rescue Kireiko without me! I was so worried..." "We're sorry for forgetting about you, Ayame... Where were you, anyway? And how did you manage to find us here?" Tejina asked. "While the rest of you were..." Ayame began. "The short version, please." Tejina protested. Ayame sighed, then began again. "I was off looking for Master Chiang." "So where is he?" Tejina asked. Zathras, who was with Ayame and Koji, replied with his usual Zathras Declaration (tm). "Zathras know Master Chiang is. Master Chiang off to do something important elsewhere. Yes, very important something is. Master Chiang tell Zathras to go along with stupid Koji here. Koji come to help the One. Yes, help the One, Zathras and Koji will." "I sent him to look for clues on the location of the Icon of Rapturous Delight and Emblem of Delightful Rapture." Ayame explained. Zathras looked around, confused. "Where is The One, anyway?" "You mean Matsuro?" Tejina clarified. Zathras looked at Matsuro, then shook his head. "No, not The One. Definitely not The One. Zathras knows The One. The One indeed Zathras knows. This one is not The One." Matsuro remained silent, still concerned about Keiko's sudden disappearance. "So..." Tejina mused. "What do we do now?" "I suggest we return to our designated domiciles, and..." Ayame looked sheepish as everyone glared at her. "Er, what I meant to say is that we should all be going back home to get some rest, and sort things out first thing in the morning." "What?!?" Tejina protested. "We can't do that! Kireiko's gone crazy, Han's gone with him, Keiko's gone..." Ayame embraced the frantic Tejina. "I know, Tej. Han's my sister too..." Her features darkened for a moment as if in doubt, then the moment disappeared as she continued. "...but we can't risk ourselves by not going at full strength. We're too fatigued from staying active these past few days without any rest." Becky, in BA-3 mode, nodded. "I agree with Ayame. We've been looking for Kireiko for hours, and we're too tired to go on looking for him, Hanaki and Keiko, and too outnumbered to face any threat that could arise. At least by tomorrow we'll have Aki, and whoever else who wants to come along to rescue Kireiko and Hanaki, and find Keiko." "But isn't tomorrow a school day...?" Koji interjected. "So we'll skip it," Matsuro replied indifferently. "It's settled then..." Tejina turned to the others. "Becky, you and Koji go get Aki first thing tomorrow, while Ayame, Matsuro and me will be heading directly for Kireiko's house. His parents might have an idea what to do in times like this. We'll meet up there." Both Becky and Koji blushed at the same time, much to the amusement of Zathras, while everyone else failed to notice. "I'll go look for Keiko before I go," Matsuro added. Everyone agreed to the plan. After detransforming and/or returning their weapons into their usual storage places, they all went their separate ways. "So Zathras, where will you be going...?" Koji asked. "Zathras go where Koji goes. Yes, Zathras will. Koji going home, yes? So Zathras go to Koji's home. As what Master Chiang says, so will Zathras do. And Master Chiang says Zathras go where Koji goes." Koji sweatdropped. ====== "Get bent, Charlie," muttered Karen Enzaeiye, Receptionist of the Office of Mystical Destinies, to her co-worker. "But, Karen dearest..." pleaded Charlie Bentley, Paper Pusher First Class and said fellow employee. "Didn't I already say no?" She cut him off sternly. "Now get out of here, I'm on duty." With that, Karen turned down (rather forcefully) yet another wooing admirer. It's not that she was an unsociable office lady -- in fact, she enjoyed going out and having fun in her off-duty hours -- but she just tended to attract the wrong kind of people. Charlie wasn't a bad sort, but he simply wasn't her type... She sighed. As a dejected Charlie shuffled off, he nearly bumped into a handsome young man wearing a formal business suit who had silently entered the office in the meantime. "Excuse me... Miss?" The man spoke in a rumbling husky voice, as he idly brushed back his shock of long white hair with the fingers of one hand. Karen was jolted from her thoughts. "Yes, can I help you, Sir...?" She recovered as she looked over the rather bishounen-looking man. She felt herself blush involuntarily at the new arrival. The young man noted the stare she was giving him, and cleared his throat. "*Ahem*. Byakko, The..." "...White Tiger of the West and Wind, and one of the Five Gods of the Apocalypse." Karen nearly squealed as she reverently blurted out the title, but she managed to keep a straight face and stay professional with the Patron Deity of Demon Hunters and Celebrities. "What can we do for you, Lord Byakko, Sir?" Not bothered at all by the interruption, Byakko smiled smoothly, his natural 'bi-bomb' attributes coming on full. "Please, just Byakko. After all, we're all in the same boat, so to speak." As he smiled, he flashed his cute fangs for effect. Karen felt her knees going weak as she found it harder to resist Byakko's supernatural coolness, even with her array of mystic abilities. She had to repeatedly remind herself that, among the Five Gods of the Apocalypse, Byakko the war god aimed to plunge the world into eternal conflict, thereby making him the most dangerous one of the Five Gods. Byakko continued. "And I wish to look over the destinies of my champions..." ====== Keiko opened her eyes. She found herself lying down, strangely chained spread-eagled on a strange bed in a corner of a strange room. The room was covered end to end with racks and racks of strange implements. On the strange ceiling hung a strange chandelier that gave off a strange light, illuminating everything in a strange glow. There was a strange door at the other end of the room. A strange odor wafted to her nostrils. Strangely enough, she was still dressed as Sailor Darkness, and was still wearing her glasses. What a strange situation to be in, Keiko thought as the door strangely swung open. "Ah, I see you are awake, " a strange but familiar voice spoke. Keiko turned towards the voice. "Mariko?!?" She couldn't believe her eyes, although she was sure her 'True Sight' enchantment was still active. It was Mariko Hanamichi as Sailor Light. Her blonde hair had now turned white as snow, while her sailor costume was a total contrast to Sailor Darkness: blindingly white, spotless everywhere, and quite conservative. But this was still the same Mariko, who along with her friends Yaki and Yumeki had been constantly hanging around Keiko at school. Mariko had a strange expression on her face, and in her hands she held a strange and evil-looking object. "Hello, Keiko," Mariko whispered. "Welcome to my parlor..." ...Said the spider to the fly... "Mariko!" Keiko raised her voice, managing to keep up her 'Look Cool All The Time' enchantment despite her situation. "What is the meaning of this?!? Let go of me right now!" Mariko smiled. "No, I can't do that, Sailor Darkness. Not until I have convinced you to return to your rightful place." Keiko was puzzled. "What do you mean by that?" "You belong to us. You belong to the DarkVerse Sailors." Mariko's low-pitched voice dropped even lower. "You belong to me." "What?!?" Keiko's mind was spinning at the revelation. More Sailor Soldiers? "You mean... You and those two other girls, Yaki and Yumeki..." "As Guardian of the DarkVerse, you are one of the DarkVerse Sailors, Sailor Darkness." Mariko slowly approached the bed. "Join me, Keiko." "No." Sailor Light shook her head in disappointment. "That's too bad... I guess I'll have to..." She twisted the device in her hands, turning it on. There was a low hum, then the object began vibrating. Keiko's eyes widened as she realized what the object is. "...TENDERIZE you." Mariko finished, a evil smile playing on her lips. "I'm sure a few... HOURS together will bring you to our way of seeing things." Keiko began struggling to loosen the shackles tying her down. Mariko laughed at Keiko's attempts to break free from her bonds. "Silly girl... those shackles are specially made to prevent you, or any other Sailor Soldier, from using your Sailor powers." Keiko stopped struggling. "Really?" "Yes." Mariko nodded, lifting Keiko's skirt. "Now that's a good girl..." Mariko frowned as Keiko giggled from her touch. "Hey, you're enjoying this already. You're not supposed to do that yet..." While Mariko placed the vibrating thing into position, she did not notice Keiko's smirk, nor did she hear the words of the spell Keiko was casting, as Keiko began to summon the powers of hell... ====== Down in the sewers, at the headquarters of the local Cthulhu Cult branch #39924-91, the celebration continued. In a private room.... "Oh, Kireiko..." "Ha... Na... Ki..." "Oh, Kireiko..." "Ha... Na... Ki..." "Oh, Kireiko..." "Ha... Na... Ki..." "Oh, Kireiko..." "Ha... Na... Ki..." "Oh, Kireiko..." "Ha... Na... Ki..." "Oh, Kireiko..." "Ha... Na... Ki..." ...Ooo-kaay. Let's go back later. ====== In another dimension out there, an Elder God facefaulted. And if you can actually visualize the whole thing, you're officially insane. ====== Byakko blinked, then looked. Byakko took a deep breath, and looked again. "What in the Forty-Two Planes...?" His vision was filled (no mean feat, considering that Byakko was a God) with stacks and stacks of papers. All of them were piled in neat rows and nearly covered the room. He turned to Karen. "So where's the files?" Karen made a sweeping gesture. "There." Byakko's eyes bugged out. "All of it?" "Yes." Byakko stifled an urge to shudder and took a slow tentative step forward. "I didn't know my people were in this deep..." "Will you be needing anything?" Karen asked hopefully, reluctant to leave the bishounen Byakko's presence. Byakko flashed another kakkoi smile, showing off his fangs again. "Don't worry, I'll manage, Miss...?" "Karen. Karen Enzaeiye." "...Karen." Byakko smiled. "Pretty name... I'll be fine." "Well..." Karen added, red-faced and a bit crestfallen. "Call me if you need anything." "I will." Karen sighed as she left Byakko in the storage room. "Now why aren't there more guys like him Up Here?" She thought sadly. "Oh, well... Back to work." Byakko looked around again. A low, primal sound rumbled out from his throat, slowly increasing in volume while he clenched and unclenched his hands several times. This went on for a few minutes, or what passed for a few minutes in the Celestial Plane. Finally, he took a deep breath, and calmed himself down, but not before an impressive rumbling growl escaped his tightly-clenched jaw. "Great," he growled again, something that comes easily for a deity that is literally part-tiger, as he began to decide on which file to start reading first. And so Byakko, God of Conflict, prepared to face with uncertainty what would be his greatest battle yet: to sift through the complete records of all his followers as he searched for clues to help him figure out what went wrong with their destinies without going insane from boredom. ====== "'Kick ass.'" Kireiko was having a ball. Quite literally. "Bet dad didn't have it any better than this..." He thought gleefully, referring to his natural father. Kireiko was currently seated comfortably on a throne, despite being made out of large bones of questionable origin. He was at the head of the dining table in the Cthulhu cult's dining hall as he watched the festive antics of his faithful followers, the details of which would cause readers to go stark raving mad, so we'll skip all that. When he voluntarily surrendered into the clutches of the Cthulhu cultists, Kireiko wasn't prepared for whole cult to accept him as their Dark God with open arms. He had expected the worst, hoping that BSing his way in would buy him some more time until he could clear his head to think up of a plan. Of course, being stuck in his cthonic-mutated oni form with no ofuda in sight to change him back, it was really hard for him to think straight, much less rationally. Luckily, Kireiko correctly figured out the intelligence quotient of the cultists (which was practically nil). Not only did they bow, lie prostrate and scrape profusely before their 'Unholy Master', they immediately threw a big party on his return. It was fun. Especially since he got to relax and hang out, kick around his servants, grope the females, and generally do anything he wanted to do, Kireiko decided to sit back and enjoy as much as he could, knowing that this wouldn't last. Especially since there still was this damn buzzing in his head, but he stopped paying attention to the voice of the so-called Great Cthulhu ever since getting Hanaki, who was now sleeping soundly in the private room he had requested from His Eminence. (And no, they did not do anything else but embrace passionately; Hanaki was too tired for them to continue making out. Get your minds out of the gutter!) Kireiko mused, thinking that he should have thought of this racket long ago, instead of trying to hide his supernatural origins. Oh, yes, Kireiko was really having a ball. Speaking of which, Kireiko saw Brother Manyard approaching his throne, carrying His Eminence along with him. "we trust you are enjoying yourself, O Great Cthulhu?" His Eminence inquired. "Oh, yeah... er, *ahem*..." Kireiko cleared his throat. "YES, THE GREAT CTHULHU IS PLEASED. YOU HAVE DONE WELL, MY FAITHFUL SERVANT." Brother Manyard deposited His Eminence on an empty seat beside Kireiko. "Oh grEAt CtHuLhU," he spoke next. "I wIsH tO aSK yOU fOR yOUr bLEsSIng." Kireiko grimaced, feeling the buzzing in his head turning to loud pounding at the inside of his skull, making it harder for him to focus. "YOU... WISH... TO... ATTACK... THE CULT OF SHUB-NIGGURATH?" Brother Manyard's glowing eyes flashed. "yEs, O UnhOlY mAjEstY, yOU hAvE lOOkEd IntO mY dArK sOuL AnD sEEn mY fOndEsT dEsIrE aS a wAY fOR yOUr hUmBlE sErvAnT tO sErvE yOU." Kireiko was giddy with the sudden power flowing into him, all at his command. He slowly felt his consciousness slipping away. "AH... YOUR REQUEST... IS... GRANTED. I... THE GREAT CTHULHU... HEREBY AUTHORIZE YOU TO GO KICK ASS AND BUST OUR ENEMIES' HEADS." Before Brother Manyard could thank his Unholiness, Kireiko continued speaking. "BUT WHILE YOU DO SO, I WISH TO REQUEST SOMETHING FROM YOU IN RETURN." Brother Manyard prostrated to the ground. "whAtEvEr yOU wIsH, mY dArK mAstEr. It wILl bE dOnE As yOU cOMmANdEd." Kireiko was already a million miles away, feeling totally high as his body continued speaking on its own. "IN PREPARATION FOR MY EVENTUAL CLEANSING OF THIS WORLD OF OUR ENEMIES, I HAVE TO GO AROUND FASTER. I WOULD NEED A SWEET RIDE." "hUh?!?" "YOU KNOW, A FORM OF TRANSPORTATION. ARE YOU EXPECTING ME TO SQUANDER AWAY MY ALL-POWERFUL ENERGIES IN SUCH TRIVIALITIES SUCH AS TRAVELING PLACES WHEN I CAN USE THEM TO SMASH OUR FOES' HEADS IN 666 WAYS INTO THE NEXT MILLENNIUM INSTEAD?" "n-nO, mY lOrD. wHAt sOrT oF vEhIclE dO yOU rEqUIrE?" "UM... I WAS THINKING A MOTORCYCLE... SAY, A HARLEY-DAVIDSON, LOWRIDER, SHOVELHEAD, HANDLEBARS UP TO HERE..." A tentacle snaked out from Kireiko's back, indicating the level of handlebars. "...LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE... AH, MAKE SURE THE BIKE GETS LOTS OF CHROME... LOTS AND LOTS OF SHINY CHROME..." Kireiko was practically drooling by now. Both Brother Manyard and His Eminence sweatdropped. "I shALl gO AnD... mAkE ArrANgEmEntS." Brother Manyard proclaimed, floating away. "WAIT, BROTHER MANYARD..." "yEs, mAstEr?" "DON'T FORGET TO GET ME MATCHING COOL SUNGLASSESS AND A LEATHER JACKET. WITH STUDS." Kireiko's eyes glittered. "BIG SILVER STUDS." Brother Manyard facefaulted. Kireiko was still out of it when His Eminence leaned forward. "Master? are You feeling alright? maybe this vessel of Yours is not as suitable as we thought..." "I AM CTHULHU! THIS BODY IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME! YOU DARE QUESTION MY DECISIONS, 'YOUR EMINENCE'?" His Eminence dropped to the floor, and groveled as best as a Deep One could. "no, O Great Cthulhu! i will never oppose Your will! please forgive this wretched foolish servant of Yours, i beg You." "FINE, FINE... YOU MAY STAND, MY FAITHFUL SERVANT." "oh, no, Master! I have been very bad. Please punish me Master, punish me." Kireiko's eye twitched. "STAND UP, YOU PUSSHEAD, OR I'LL BE FORCED TO KICK YOUR SLIMY HEAD IN... AND FEED THE REST TO THE DOLPHINS AFTERWARDS." That got His Whining Eminence to react. Kireiko rubbed his jaw with a slimy claw, as if in thought. "WHAT ARE YOU UP TO, ANYWAY?" His Eminence straightened up, then composed himself. "Master... we are making preparations for Your eventual marriage. would You be wanting to proceed with the wedding rituals as soon as possible?" "SO SOON? NO, NOT NOW... MY CONSORT IS A BIT TIRED OUT AND IS RESTING. MAYBE LATER. NOW GO AND HAVE SOME FUN TOO, FOR ONCE. YOU LOOK STRESSED OUT." His Eminence drew back. "i... i thank You, O Great Cthulhu." The Deep One was then carried away by several cultists. Kireiko shook in his throne for a moment, then nearly jumped out of his seat, as if startled. "WhOO... whAt A rUsh..." Kireiko looked around, but none of the cultists noticed his sudden reaction. "What the hell just happened?" He wondered, noticing that the buzzing noise in his head had oddly receded, and the voice had become silent. After a moment's pause, Kireiko dismissed it as something that he ate earlier and resumed groping at the female cultists. "'This rocks.'" Kireiko grinned evilly. "I cOUld gEt usEd tO thIs..." He paused in thought, then shrugged. "...whatever." ====== And in his house in R'lyeh, Dead Cthulhu laughed. ====== A bleary grey landscape, that looked like Tokyo right after the Apocalypse, stretched out as far as the eye can see. Here and there were scattered gigantic craters made by unearthly forces too powerful to contemplate. Tejina seemed confused as she took in the sight, seeing many lookalikes of herself, all of them were dressed in Sailor uniforms and standing around listlessly in the wasteland. Then from the shadows, Kireiko materialized into view and slowly approached them. Or rather, the monstrous creature formerly known as Kireiko shuffled slowly towards Tejina and her lookalikes. More grotesque than his usual half-oni form, the Chosen Avatar of the Great Old One Cthulhu slithered towards the Tejina look-alike with purple hair, her sister Sailor Bliss. "Ha... Na... Ki..." The monster burbled, wrapping several slimy tentacles around the strangely still form of Hanaki. Then he proceeded to... ...turn to another girl dressed as Sailor Exposition. "Ha... Na... Ki..." Another slimy bunch of tentacles reached out to grab Ayame, then.. ...several more slimy tentacles snaked out to ensnare Sailor Winter, who tried to escape, but was caught by her ankle. "Ha... Na... Ki..." Cthulu-Kireiko moaned with frustration, shaking Yukiko up in the air, as he... ...sent several tentacles to trip one of the Tejina-lookalikes, dressed in an tiger-striped fuku, as she also tried to get away. "Ha... Na... Ki..." groaned Cthulhu-Kireiko, while he... ...continued extending his innumerable slimy tentacles, grabbing more girls, all of them identical to Tejina, and all the while calling out to Hanaki. "Ha... Na... Ki..." Most of the Tejina-lookalikes squirmed against the tentacles as they attempted to break free, but they were firmly held fast, unable to escape. Some of the girls gave up struggling and let themselves be carried, and a few... let's not go there. "Kireiko!" Tejina shouted. "What's gotten into you, Kireiko?!?" The tentacles of Cthulhu-Kireiko still uninvolved with any of the other girls finally reached out to where Tejina was standing. "Ha... Na... Ki..." The tentacles encircled their target, then closed in... ...only to be pushed back as an mystical energy field suddenly formed around Tejina. "...wHAt iS tHIs?!?" Tejina grimaced and bent over, slowly pulling out Matsuro's Sword of Duality from her stomach. "You monstrous freak," she hissed in an oddly bishounen way. "Let the girls go, Kireiko." "GWAAAAAAAAARRRR!!!" Cthulhu-Kireiko bellowed out in reply, sending more slimy tentacles towards Tejina. "Tejina!" Sailor Darkness appeared out of the shadows, hurling several vials at the tentacled horror. "Get out of here! [NOW!]." "Huh? Keiko? I'm Mat..." Tejina was about to reply, but she was interrupted as the explosions from the Holy Hand Grenades of Joy rocked the area. Cthulhu-Kireiko roared in pain as several tentacles were blown clean off. Tejina was also thrown off from the blasts, but she wasn't really concerned. She was wondering about Keiko using the [Brackets of Power]. As she flew a good distance, she felt strangely familiar arms encircling her waist in mid-air, holding her close, shielding her from harm... "Tej!" A familiar voice shouted out. "Are you okay?" "Aki..." Tejina groaned. "Sshhh... Don't talk. You'll be all right." Sailor Joy crooned as they both slowly descended to the ground. "Aki, it's me... Matsuro." ~~~~~~ "M... Matsuro?" Surprised, Sailor Joy looked into his eyes. She gasped in shock. "Matsuro! It is you!" Matsuro was relieved... Then Aki did something totally unexpected; She began hugging him tightly. And intimately. "Oh, Matsuro, I thought I lost you..." Aki softly whispered into his ear. "Ack!" Matsuro protested, feeling Aki's passionate embrace. Then Matsuro realized something terribly wrong. He could feel Aki's passionate arousal through her Sailor uniform, and his body involuntarily responded in kind. But the way his body responded, his... Matsuro looked down. Matsuro found himself wearing Tejina's Sailor Delight uniform. And having a female body. ~~~~~~ Normally, any other guy would have screamed at the situation in horror and realization, but this is Matsuro. Granted, this was Matsuro in Tejina's body, but still... "I'm a girl..." He/she gasped. "Matsuro?" Aki asked, concerned. "Wait." Matsuro/Tejina realized. "I'm in Tejina's body..." "Matsuro? Is that really you?" "I'm Matsuro." He/she turned to Aki. "But I'm in Tejina's body." "Of course I believe you, Matsuro." Aki embraced Matsuro/Tejina. "But why am I in Tejina's body? And what's happening with that pervert Kireiko?" "I have no idea what happened though... sorry." Aki looked away. "As for Kireiko, he..." She choked back a sob. "Oh, Kireiko, Hanaki... I'm so sorry..." Matsuro/Tejina was surprised... First Keiko using the [Brackets of Power], and now Aki acting like... "Tejina! Aki!" Keiko screamed as she was thrown back by a sudden explosion. She landed at their feet and lay still, her arms and legs bent in extremely painful positions, unmoving. Both Matsuro/Tejina and Aki looked up and saw the many Tejina-lookalikes scattered on the ground, unconscious... And an enraged Cthulhu-Kireiko, surrounded by a sickly green aura, now growing. "Keiko..." Matsuro/Tejina gasped. "Damn you, Kireiko." "GWAAAAAAAAARRRR!!!" Cthulhu-Kireiko roared out again. Matsuro/Tejina turned to Aki. "What do we do now?" "Without the Icon of Rapturous Delight and the Emblem of Delightful Rapture, our only chance is to unite in order to combine our powers to stop the evil." Aki replied. "How are we going to do that?" He/she asked, dreading the reply. Aki smiled sadly. "This..." Her Sailor Joy costume faded away, leaving a very naked Aki in Matsuro/Tejina's arms. "...Matsuro, My Love." ====== Yumeki checked her watch. "It's been four hours... Do you think Mariko will be all right, being left alone with Sailor Darkness?" At the other end of the room, Yaki looked up from her work. "Don't worry about it, Yumeki... Mariko always prefers handling this sort of stuff alone." "But she might slip up, or make a mistake, or piss Keiko off, or something..." Yumeki stood up. "I have to go there and help her." Yaki groaned in exasperation. "Yumeki... I don't think Mariko'll appreciate you being there. Trust me, she can take care of this by herself." "But I wanna watch!" Yumeki whined. "At least Mariko should let me. I can be quiet..." Yaki covered her head with her hands. "Why me...?" The two advisor animals were silently conferring among themselves, not letting the two girls overhear their conversation. They were all gathered in Mariko's apartment, right after abducting Sailor Darkness from her Crystal Sailor allies. Mariko was busy in her room, personally attempting to convince Keiko to join their group. Yumeki was practically bouncing up and down the walls in boredom, while Yaki was left with doing hers and Mariko's homework. Then the door slammed open, and all four heads looked up. They saw an exhausted Mariko stumble into the room, looking very much the worse for wear. She was covered head to toe in numerous bruises and welts of all shapes and sizes, and her clothes were shredded in many places, only the strap on her shoulder prevented it from totally going into pieces. "What happened to you?" Cecil spoke up curiously. "You looked like you've caught yourself in a hurricane." "Don't. Say. A. Word." Mariko groaned, slowly seating herself on one of the chairs. "Aaahhh... Owwowowowowowowoww... That Bitch." Yumeki giggled. "Keiko, right?" Mariko glared at her while rubbing her sore bottom. "She didn't have to whip me so hard... I didn't really mind some of it, but I won't be able to walk right for weeks. Not to mention the marks, Keiko had made sure that they would be showing..." Yaki groaned. "Why me...?" The two advisers nodded among themselves in silent agreement. "Then we need to..." Kahi paused. "...Ussse the Banner of The DarkVerssse." All three girls turned to the lizard. "The Banner of The DarkVerssse?" They chorused. Cecil glared at Kahi. "The Banner of The *Darkverse*." He corrected the girls. "An ancient artifact that was instrumetal to the fall of the Crystal Millennium."" "Yesss..." Kahi intoned. "Find it, and Ssailor Darknesss' true place among the Darkversse Ssailorsss will be asssured." Mariko clenched her teeth. "You mean to tell me that we've been wasting our time for the past few weeks trying to sway Keiko to our side, when all we have to do is look for some blasted old relic to make her join us?" Cecil shrugged noncommittally. Mariko would have facefaulted, if doing so wouldn't be so painful for her. "Kahi, how could you keep this from me? We could have used this information long ago." "That was before we found out that the Crystal Sailors didn't have the Icon of Rapturous Delight and the Emblem of Delightful Rapture." Cecil explained. "With them, the Banner is useless... Without the two relics, they won't be able to stay united as a team. We can therefore use the Banner to rally the forces of DarkVerse to our cause without any resistance." "And where, pray tell, can this Banner of DarkVerse be found?" Yaki asked. "That... isss the problem." "What problem?" Mariko grimaced in pain. "The only person who can find the Banner is Grand Duke Midnight," Cecil explained, scratching the back of his head with the butt end of his switchblade. "And the damn prick's not Awakened to his true self yet." "Who is the Grand Duke Midnight?" Yaki asked. ====== Matsuro sat up. "What a dream..." he gasped, wiping beads of sweat on his forehead. He then looked up. Matsuro's eyebrow twitched. "..." "Hi, Matsuro," his mom cheerfully greeted him as she hung from the ceiling, naked and held up there by disembodied tentacles wrapped in certain strategic locations around her body. "Mmmm... This has got to be one of your more interesting visions, dear..." Matsuro averted his eyes. "Mom... no, not like this. Anything but this... Waitaminute... You're supposed to be with Elric." "Uh-oh." He coolly turned to the lookalike. "You're that receptionist girl, Karen. Right?" "Of course it's me. You're... Aahhh... enjoying the view, aren't you?" "I am MOST certainly NOT!" Matsuro replied, in a tone of voice more emotionally charged than his usual levels. "Well, why aren't you averting your eyes now?" "You're not my mom." "Ahhh... But I still look like your mom." Karen pointed out. "We even have the same body form, see?" "..." Matsuro burrowed his head under the pillows. "Ohhh... Or would you rather prefer..." Karen added, her features slowly changing along with her voice, "...this?" Matsuro peeked out of his pillows to see a naked Keiko now being willingly molested by the floating tentacles Karen was wrapped in before. "Ohhh... Matsuro..." Keiko moaned. Something in Matsuro's mind snapped. "STOP!" Matsuro's hand lashed out. ====== "Hot damn," Byakko muttered as he finished going through the tenth stack of files from the pile before him. "Genbu was right, someone was interfering with our links to our followers..." Being left alone the storage room to pore over the records of all the Champions of the White Tiger of the West and Wind, Byakko was able to relax and let his hair down, literally. Having taken off his constricting jacket and shirt, the young god of Conflict decided to shift to a more easily manageable form, settling on a half-tiger anthromorph. It still wasn't comfortable enough since the shape he chose was more suited to the field of battle rather than the cramped quarters of the stuffy records area, but it would have to do. Byakko yawned, his mouth gaping widely, showing an impressive row of shiny white sharp teeth (Remember kids! Brush your teeth everyday!) as he flexed his impressively muscular frame several times in order not to start getting cramps from all the boring reading he was doing. Even with the time dilation he requested from Her Up Above, plus his speed reading skills (as a deity of Conflict, Byakko possessed every advantage that could be used in battle, including ones not so obvious), it was quite some time before he would be done browsing through the records. Already, Byakko had noticed a disturbing pattern. It was no secret that each of the Prime Champions of the Five Gods had a given theme depending on their station in life, and in most cases they were interrelated with each other. Being a god of war, he once questioned the logic of this idea to Her Up Above, only to be told that it would naturally result in impressive visuals and other special effects, since in this day and age the way your followers look is just as important as the strength of your followers. Not wanting to pointlessly drag on the useless argument further, Byakko managed to take advantage of a loophole in the ruling. Since there were no restrictions in follower compositions, the Five Gods were encouraged to pick themes that they find intresting and stylish rather than effective. So Suzaku, whose goals were to heal the world, got the scholarly Masons; Genbu, whose aims were to guide the world, got the hodgepodge of religious leaders; Seiryuu wanted to continue her petty rivalry with the god who was named Ryokuryuu (but who wanted to be called Aoryuu), and so she got the secretive Seals; while Ryokuryuu took the Seals' eternal enemies, the har-bringing Harbringers, under his scaled wings. Which was perfect for Byakko, who got what he believed to be the best set; all his Champions were natural warriors, trained since birth or early on in their lives to be either military soldiers, martial arts masters, demon hunters, or action movie superstars. That gave him the edge over his fellow Gods, who did not have his battle-honed foresight to consider that their factions would need true warriors. Byakko chuckled at the thought, the sound reverberating from his throat coming out as a very amused-sounding feline purr. He fondly remembered the expressions of his fellow gods' faces when he unveiled his faction's theme. "All's fair in love and War," he boasted to them that time. He was confident that even if the other groups joined forces and fought against his people, his cause would prevail as long as The One was on his followers' side. If in the slimmest of chances that The One chose to ally with any of the others... So his faction might not be the winning side, but at the very least they'd be getting the best fight scenes when the Real Apocalypse came along, just the way She Up Above would have wanted. And nowadays, it's the journey that matters the most, and not the destination, right? The records told a different story. It was already strange that there was a lack of mikos around, who were supposed to organize each faction under their god's banner. Then the person their followers identified as The One turned out to be a weak male bishounen, when as far as Byakko could recall, the identity of The One that all Five Gods agreed upon beforehand was definitely the young teenage girl with blue hair... His roster of followers was also a big disappointment. Very few of his Champions underwent military training, and only a handful from that bunch actually served in the military forces. The majority of his champions ended up as stunt men and bit players in show business, and a washed-up former teen idol was one of his Prime Champions. Some managed to make a name for themselves in the streets, that was true enough, but the image of having thugs and gangsters as front line troops didn't appeal to Byakko's aesthetic sense. There were four trained demon hunters among his Prime Champions, but one of them was a magical girl, something Byakko personally frowned on, seeing it as more of Seiryuu's or Suzaku's style. And he had to check with Lars Svensson, who headed the Weapons Department in Valhalla, in regards to the validity of the Weapons of Duality of the other two Prime Champions. That left him with one legit Prime Champion... and Kireiko. Byakko's brows furrowed in thought at this person called Kireiko while he finished another stack and moved to the next pile, careful not to let his razor-sharp claws rip through the papers like so much, well, paper. It seemed that in all the files he read, there was always a mention of this Champion, who was noted to belong to a distinguished family of retired demon hunters, and a member of a popular local pop band calling themselves the Do-Gooders. Already finished reading all of his minor champions' and four of his Prime Champions' destinies, he had the foresight to save this Kireiko person's records for last. His divine intuition was telling him that what he would find in Kireiko's files would be interesting. Very interesting indeed. That Byakko had only finished reading the files that covered one small part of the room and there was still a lot of papers to go through was a very big clue. "All this research stuff bites," Byakko growled. ====== The unexpected happened. Matsuro looked down at his hands, then at the wide hole where the ceiling and the upper floors used to be before he disintegrated everything in a blast of mystical energy from the palm of his hand. "Did I do that...?" "Yep." Karen replied, now dressed in what appeared to be a feminine cut military-styled dress uniform, seated nonchalantly at his bedside... and startling Matsuro right out of his bed. "Will you stop doing that?!?" Matsuro calmly exclaimed, getting up from the floor where he fell to. Karen smirked. "Heh. Glad to see that you have urges after all, Matsuro. Your mother will be really happy to know that she will be getting grandchildren eventually." "What's the deal with the visions? I thought the Department of Mystical Destinies dropped that." Karen blushed involuntarily. "Well... the tentacle thing was my idea, sorry about that..." She twiddled her fingers together as she looked down in embarrassment. "But... I can't help it..." Matsuro rolled his eyes upward in exasperation. "Great, so now I'm being used for relief. You know, I could file harassment charges for that. You'll end up in big trouble, especially since you're dealing with a minor." "Sorry." Karen sweatdropped profusely. "But I based it from your dream... or rather, what you dreamt about." "What I dreamt about? I don't understand..." Karen stood up. "You should know what it's all about... Grand Duke Midnight of the DarkVerse." She saluted to Matsuro. Matsuro now noticed the outfit he was dressed in. His usual plain clothes were now replaced by a Victorian-era styled attire, like those worn by the nobility in bygone eras, like the members of royalty in the DarkVerse. The cloth and leather the high-collared suit was made out of was black, darker than the shadows around his physics-violating room, and studded with shining silver buttons. The buttons on the front of his jacket was engraved with designs that looked like the different phases of the moon. Above his new outfit was draped a cloak of heavy black cloth, nearly invisible as the whole ensemble blended in the darkness. "..." "Speechless?" Karen asked. "The experience of a new revelation tends to do that..." "No, I was wondering whatever happened to the duster." Karen sweatdropped as she continued. "The Higher-Ups at the Department of Mystical Destinies may have dropped the visions for your destiny as the Ultimate Wildcard, The One Who Will Decide The Winning Side Of The Final Apocalypse, but there's another file detailing another of your destinies as the reincarnation of the Grand Duke Midnight of the DarkVerse. This destiny has its own set of visions for you to start having, once you Awaken to your past incarnation." "So I'll be getting hallucinations again, just like old times," Matsuro clarified glumly. "That's about right," Karen confirmed. "Is this the one where I have to marry Aki to save the world?" Matsuro asked. "I already know that, but Aki's my sister, so I won't marry her, even if I have to. And besides, I've already defeated that Arisu creep, so that destiny's out of the way for the moment." Karen cocked her head to the side. "No, that's not it. When the prophecy said that you have to unite with Aki, that doesn't mean that you have to marry Aki literally, being on the same side would have been enough to fulfill that prophecy. The 'marriage' part was only symbolic." Matsuro rolled his eyes upwards. "Now you tell me. You could have saved me from an very sticky situation if you would have just gone ahead and told us all this earlier." Karen giggled. "True... However, your destinies do not end there. There'll be even more stuff for you to face soon." "There's more? What are they?" "I'm sorry... I'm not allowed to tell you this early." Karen sounded apologetic. "Only that the Realm of Midnight includes dreams, and you will be having the visions of the other individuals whose destinies intertwine with yours. It will be really hectic time for us in the department, because we have to take care of all the paperwork you'll generate, so please try to keep the scrying stuff to a minimum... Although the recordings of *some* of the dreams you'll be having will be quite popular collectible items when they happen soon." Karen turned to a shimmering portal behind her to leave, but Matsuro called out to stop her. "Wait, before you go..." "Yes?" Karen turned to Matsuro. "I want to know one thing..." Matsuro trailed off. "What is it?" "Why is this happening to me now, of all times?" Karen placed a finger on her lips. "That... is a secret." She disappeared, the portal winking out. Then the rest of the apartment collapsed. There was a fierce rumbling, then the floor gave way. The last thing Matsuro saw as he fell crashing downwards to oblivion was a terrifying sight, of a horrid monstrous creature with glowing red eyes that looked vaguely like a gigantic Kireiko with way more oversized tentacles than necessary... ...And something else. Something very evil. ====== With a startled gasp, Matsuro sat up on his bed. "..." Now fully awake, he looked around, noting that he was back in his old clothes and lying on his bed in his apartment. The ceiling was intact, as if the earlier incident with Karen never happened. Or was it all another one of his hallucinations? "Great, I'm losing it..." He leaned back on his pillows, thinking on how serious Duke Midnight's crimes were for karmic fate to make him deserve all this. "Whose dream was it?" Matsuro wondered until he finally went back to sleep. This time, there were no visions, only the uneasy dreamless state he was starting to dislike. ====== Tejina wasn't having any luck going back to sleep. A few minutes ago, she woke up in a heavy sweat, shivering from the dream she had. Recalling every detail, she thought that the dream was really weird, with Aki seducing her, Kireiko becoming like the monsters in those ecchi cartoon tapes Becky has in her secret stash, and she... ...She was acting and thinking like Matsuro. "What a surreal dream," she muttered, discarding another one of her stray thoughts telling her to go look for a boyfriend. This dream has been going on and on for the past few days, but for the life of her, she had no idea what it was all about. Needless to say, Tejina stayed awake until the next day. ====== In the main hall of the Cthulhu cult's HQ, a horde of the most horrorific, monstrous, and quite cutely evil cthonic beings have assembled. Brother Manyard faced them proudly as he rallied his Hello Cthulhu forces. "FOr dArInG tO ASsAUlt OUr hALlOwEd lAIR, tHOsE pAthEthIc mInIOns oF ShUb-NIgGUrATh mUSt tAsTE oUr wRAtH! AnD ThIs tImE, wE shALl sUCcEEd! ThIs tImE, wE shALl nOT fAIl! I hAvE nOW rEcEIvEd tHE blESsINgs fROm oUr UnhOlY LOrd And mAstEr tHE GrEAt CtHUlHU, aND wE shALl nOW gO fORth aND fUlfILl hIS wILl! WE wILl stRIkE aT tHOsE dAMnABlE mInIOns oF ShUb-NIgGUrATh, aND wE shALl dEStROy thEm oNcE aND fOR aLl! SOmE oF yOU wILl fAcE grEAt dANgERs. SOmE oF yOU wILl nOT bE rEtUrnIng. SOmE oF yOU wILl EvEn dIE. BuT wE wILl nOt jUsT lIE dOwN aNd aCcEpT dEfEAt. We wILl nOT aCcEpT sURrENdErINg. We wILl nOT aCcEpT lOsIng tHIs wAr! We wILl fIghT wITh EvErY UnHOlY fIbEr oF oUR mOnsTrOUs bEIngS, aND wE wILl nEvEr, EvEr sURrENdER! We wILl sTrIKe aT tHEm iN tHE sTrEEts! We wILl sTrIKe aT tHEm iN tHE allEYs! We wILl sTrIKe aT tHEm iN thEIr oWn hEAdqUArtERs! ThEY wILl fAll bEfOrE uS! THEy wILl nOt stANd agAInSt tHE mIGht oF hElLo CtHuLhU! AnD wHEn wE wIn tHIs dAY, tHIs glOrIoUs dAY shALl bE oUR INDEPENDENCE DAY!!" Lo, the Hello Cthulhus sweatdroppeth. "...cArRy oN." Brother Manyard commandeth. And thus, the Hello Cthulhu army chargeth. "o/~ Hello, Hello Cthulhu / Let's have fun to-day... o/~" They sang. Brother Manyard cackled. "'ShUbBy-ChAn', bE pREpArEd tO bE ANNIHILATED!!! Eth, eTh, etH..." ====== Aki opened her eyes. She was tied to a cushioned chair in the middle of a brightly-lit room. The room itself was white, totally clean, and empty of anything else but a full-length wall mirror nearly filling one side of the room. "Let me out of here!" Aki shouted to no avail. "Hey! Anyone out there?!? Let me go!!!" After a while of shouting, Aki gave up, settling on assessing her current situation. She tried testing her bonds, but the ropes were tied too securely and would not budge as they held her fast. There was a door beside the mirror, and Aki settled her eyes on it, as her thoughts slowly drifted to the last time she had had an encounter with the cultists. ~~~~~~ Aki was having trouble sleeping. She was staring at her computer, deciding whether to turn it on and look over her emails, or go back to bed. She couldn't remember what her dream was all about, but whatever it was had scared her so much she didn't feel drowsy as she sat beside her study table. Finally, she reached for the ON switch and turned the computer on. There were 45 messages in her inbox, even after setting up spam blocks and other filters against bulk emails. "Damn..." It had been a while since she last checked her account. Out of the 45 emails, nine were get rich schemes, eight were chain letters, seven were ads for porno websites, six were ads for miracle products with dubious properties, five were book offers, four were online news digests from the school publication mailing list, three were asking for photos of herself, and one was a wedding invitation. She tried to recall the gaijin mentioned in the quirky message, but they somehow eluded her, although the bride's name was somewhat familar. So Aki saved the message for later and checked the last two messages on the messages list, hoping that at least one of them was a message from her dearest childhood friend Nami, who moved away years ago but whom Aki got in touch with again only recently through the 'Net, and being close neighbors and all that they used to do everything together, until Nami's family moved away, Aki and Nami were so close with each other, both of them having lots of things in common with each other, except for the fact that Aki was the reincarnation of Princess Annikki of the Crystal Millennium and Sailor Joy of the Sailor Team, and Nami did not have a deluded megalomaniac of a father who was constantly plotting to take over the world, but then again Aki wasn't sure about that, since she never could remember what Nami's parents were like, and Nami had a rather twisted brother, which led Aki to wonder what would it have been like to have a brother, then she remembered that Matsuro was her brother, the same Matsuro that was also the reincarnation of the Grand Duke Midnight of the DarkVerse, and the reincarnation of the person that Princess Annikki was supposed to marry before he eloped with his lover Sailor Darkness of the DarkVerse Sailors, also known as Princess Vengeance, as she recalled all that knowledge while she read the wedding invitation in the last message, the thought of having her past incarnation's wedding ruined was almost angering her, but she reminded herself that all that had happened in the past and Matsuro was now her brother, and despite what Adviser Chiang of the Crystal Kingdom of Delight, and Charles, her pet canary and advisor, would say, along with the other animal advisors of the Sailor Team, she would not be marrying her brother Matsuro anytime soon, even if doing so would put the whole world in danger, for there were other more palatable options than committing incest, the very sickening thought of doing so making her stomach churn violently in disgust, especially since she would be getting in the way of Matsuro and Keiko's beautiful relationship, something she did not want to do, since she and Keiko were very good friends, and good friends are really hard to find, even if Keiko was admittedly a bit weird, despite being drop-dead gorgeous, so gorgeous that in fact she was the spitting image of her father's significant other Queen Charity Darkness Vengeance, the evil ruler of the DarkVerse and the mortal enemy of the Sailor Soldiers of the Crystal Millennium, but actually a pretty nice and kind-hearted person once you got to know her a lot better. And at 452 words, her train of thought ground to a halt as she read the final two messages, ending one long run-on sentence. ****** Message: 2 Date: XXX, XX/XX/19XX 01:45:57 +0000 From: Wataru Subject: Hi Hi. Remember me? I haven't heard from you online. Was your Online Instant Messaging Service disconnected? I'm really sorry about what happened that last time we met. Will you forgive me? I'll explain everything if you will let me. Please? Be hearing from you. -W ****** Message: 1 Date: XXX, XX/XX/19XX 20:13:42 +0000 From: Wataru Subject: Hi Again Hi again. You didn't reply to my last email message. I'm worried for you. It's all right, I understand if you're still upset. I can explain everything if you will let me. I'll be seeing you soon. Personally. We'll be having that coffee by then. 'Till then, -W ****** "Bastard," Aki muttered. Then her instant message indicator beeped. Before she realized what she was doing, she clicked on the "OK" button out of habit. the message read. She quickly typed back a scathing reply, all the while her mind screaming at her not to. the response read. Aki clicked on the disconnect button... ...Only to watch helplessly in rising terror as the message went on while the text window remained on-screen, even after she hit the disconnect command several times. The display blinked out as Aki pulled the plug. "Gods," she sighed, flopping down to her bed. "That was too much. Why can't I have a normal life like Nami..?" Soon Aki was able to go back to sleep, that option becoming more attractive than dealing with the members of Shubby-chan's Happy Happy Joy Joy Fun Club, even if only virtually. ~~~~~~ Aki returned to the present as she watched the door beside the mirror opening. She then saw Wataru enter the room with his usual nonchalant smirk on his face. He was wearing his usual getup, the t-shirt today reading, "I brake for Great Shubby-chan's followers only. (The rest can eat rubber.)" Wataru smiled brightly. "Oh, good, you're awake..." Aki seethed in anger. "You..." Wataru raised his arms. "Hey, now, I didn't want to do this, you know... I'm just following Great Shubby-chan's orders." "Liar." Aki spat out. "You let me out [RIGHT NOW]." Wataru blinked, then smiled. "Oh, I'll let you out, of course... Great Shubby-chan wanted to see you herself." It was Aki's turn to blink. He's not affected by the [Brackets of Power]...? Wataru untied most of Aki's bonds, allowing her to stand. With her hands still tied up, he dragged her out of the room. "W-where are you taking me?" Aki asked, her confidence sinking. "Didn't you listen? My master wanted to see you..." As they walked through the bright corridors of what looked like the inside of a day-care center, they passed by an unusually-happy Yoi Maeda, in his usually spotless anonymous self, who was grinning evilly at Aki. "Hello, Sailor Joy." Maeda sneered. "Welcome to the headquarters of the Shub-Niggurath Cult, local #39924-99. I trust your stay has been most unpleasant?" "When I get out of here..." Aki swore. "Now, now... don't get tied up in knots, little girl... no, wait... You ARE in tied up in knots already." Maeda laughed at his own joke. Wataru frowned. "If you don't mind, Maeda, Great Shubby-chan would want to speak with The Light Of The World." "Oh, I DO, dear Wataru." Maeda replied in his old arrogant way. "I would rather have The Light Of The World destroyed as soon as possible or right after using her to immediately dispose of the so-called Great Cthulhu and his ilk. But since great Great Shubby-chan commanded it, I have no choice but to comply." Wataru narrowed his eyes. "Come this way..." He said to Aki, pulling her away as they left Maeda standing there. Maeda began to laugh, the sound echoing throughout the hallways, chilling Aki to the bone. ====== It was a beautiful day. He could hear the songs of the birds from outside his cave as it filtered in, reminding him of the date today, and the importance of this very day. He breathed deeply of the fresh spring air as it entered the cavern, his senses alive and alert. Everything was right. There was no doubt about it. "Today, I shall go and ask Aki for a date." Hiryuu proclaimed. Having tried everything with the phone, he finally gave up and went back to his Auntie for help. He was currently in human form, fully dressed to kill, with a stunning makeover. Thanks to his Auntie's followers, the now-bishounen Hiryuu is ready to go off into the wide world and break some hearts. But for him, there's only one heart he was out to capture, and he had no intention of eating this one. He checked the necessities one last time. "Flowers... check. Decent casuals of the latest fashions... check. Sufficient money... check. Protection..." He blushed involuntarily. "...er, check." He grinned. "Perfect." Thanks to some date coaching from his Auntie Seiryuu's Prime Champions, everything should go off without a hitch. Having memorized his declaration speech by heart, passed the date tests for every situation with flying colors, plus he polished the sincerity that stemmed from his heart, he was assured by the Seals that he wouldn't fail. Aki would be swept of her feet, and they would go off and live happily ever after... The romance wouldn't have to happen immediately, but this day would be the start. It would take a while for it to come to pass, but he could wait. True loves are like Dragons, they last a long time, if not forever... But just to be sure, Hiryuu tucked his crib notes into the back pocket of his enchanted clothes, the type that would magically become a part of him when he needed to transform. Now all he had to do is to avoid meeting any knights, and everything would be perfect. For today, Hiryuu mapped out everything to the very smallest details, making sure that this date would be extra special for the both of them. "Aki, wait for me." Hiryuu strode out of his cave confidently, bouquet of flowers in his hands, love in his heart, and sure of his destination. "Your true love is coming for you..." ====== Aki sneezed. Wataru looked back at her, concerned. "Is everything fine, Aki? I'm really sorry about this..." Aki glared at Wataru, but kept silent. "Don't be angry, Aki," Wataru continued casually. "I promise to make up to you for all this afterwards... perhaps we'll be having that coffee later?" Aki clenched her teeth, but said nothing. "We're here." Wataru opened the door at the end of the corridor, then waved Aki forward. "Great Shubby-chan awaits." "..." Aki pointedly ignored him as she entered the room. She looked around as the door closed behind her. The room itself was bare, bereft of furnishings, and spotlessly clean, with only a plain chair in the center, already occupied at the moment. The sole occupant of the room looked up weakly at her. "Hello, Miss Villyn." Natsuki whispered in greeting. Aki blinked. Other than the fact that the woman looked unusually skinny and pale, she seemed ordinary enough. "You're... Shubby-chan?" There was a dark flash, and Natsuki began to glow brightly. Her straightened posture became more regal, and her eyes blazed with an unearthly fire as the vessel of Shub-Niggurath regarded Aki as a Pope would regard a heretic. "SO YOU ARE THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD..." Aki gritted her teeth, preparing for the worst. Appearances can be deceiving... "So? What's it to you?!?" She shot back, mustering up the last of her fleeing confidence, knowing very well that all her powers are useless against a [G_O_D]. "GREETINGS, MISS AKI VILLYN. I AM THE GREAT SHUB-NIGGURATH..." ====== "Damn..." Wataru cursed as he walked through the empty hallways. Aki Villyn, The Light Of The World, proved to be much more stronger that they believed. She must be blessed with divine luck so potent that all his efforts to get through to her had been thwarted at every step of the way. "This is bad," he muttered to no one in particular. That new recruit of theirs, Yoi Maeda, had quickly risen through the ranks, earning Shubby-chan's good graces, and had succeeded where the other cultists have failed. The problem was that Maeda was too secretive, and never revealed his plans until the very last moment, which reduced his fellow cultists to nothing more than lackeys. Maeda had ulterior motives, and Wataru did not know what could they be. But he had a suspicion of what Maeda's goals are, and they do not involve furthering the cause of their God Shub-Niggurath, Outer God of Fertility, Black Goat of the Woods With a Thousand Young. Wataru didn't like the current situation one bit. The idea that something was being kept from him was infuriating. He had faced down Elder Gods, Great Demons and the like before without problems, but that this mere *MORTAL* was now besting him at what he did best was unbearable. ====== Yoi Maeda sneezed. "Dammit..." He grumbled, frantically wiping it off his spotless business suit with a blindingly white handkerchief. ====== "Hey, Wataru..." Aika called out to an upset Wataru. "What's eating you?" "Nothing." Wataru barked. "Don't you have anything else to do?" Aika drew back as if stung. "Why, you... I was just going to tell you that our surveillance people noticed a huge activity going on at the Cthulhu cult's headquarters." "Don't bother." Wataru snapped. "Great Shubby-chan's in a meeting with The Light Of The World. It's too important to be disrupted by the likes of you." "Already?" Aika fumed. "Why wasn't I told of this?" "Do you think you're important enough for the information?" Wataru scathingly replied. "Now go and man our defenses." Aika huffed in irritation, but went on her way, leaving Wataru shaking his head. He had begun looked elsewhere for potential allies, just in case, but met with little promise. Aika was not an option, her lack of subterfuge skills and violent moods only serving to hinder the cause. And most of his fellow cultists were either too suspicious of Wataru, no thanks to his unique abilities, or too taken by Maeda's charisma to be of help when he would be needing it. Earlier, Wataru had secretly tried to make contact with Aki again, to warn her of the impending danger. This was not because he cared, oh no; he didn't like the idea of Maeda's plans actually succeeding, which would result in himself getting replaced as Shubby-chan's most dependable minion. That he cared about, not of Aki. No, he did not care about Aki; after all, he was ordered by Shubby-chan herself to destroy The Light Of The World when the opportunity presented itself. And the opportunity did present itself, that one time a few weeks ago. It was just that circumstances occurred that prevented them from considering that option. "That dragon... no, that MONSTER will pay for what he did." He punctuated that feeling by shaking a fist in the air. ====== Hiryuu scratched his nose. "Funny... For a moment I thought I caught a cold, or somethin'... This had better not get in the way of my date with Miss Aki." ====== Wataru regretted that moment of forgetfulness; that chance would never happen again. Once, he and Aki had been very close, constantly chatting in the 'Net. They bared their hearts and souls to one another, and they thought they knew everything about each other. But now... Wataru remembered the fragile image that Shubby-chan presented to him; a beautiful yet forlorn young girl in a virginal white gown, her short brown hair so smooth, her pretty eyes so sad... *Aki...* Wataru banished the memory in his thoughts, forcing the image of Natsuki in Aki's place in his mind's eye. No, he did not care for Aki at all. No way. *Damn you, Aki Villyn. Don't you understand what I am trying to tell you...? Then I hope you get what's coming to you, you deserved it. Damn...* ====== Hanaki woke up in a damp cell. "Where am I?" She wondered out aloud as she looked around in fear. Slowly, Hanaki remembered everything that had happened. She relaxed a bit, then tensed. *Where was Kireiko?* He'd been with her before she fell asleep, and she hadn't been in a small cell like this one... "Kireiko... where are you?" ====== "Thank you, Ayesse." Queen Charity Darkness Vengeance, the not-quite-evil ruler of the DarkVerse, praised her general for his report on the current state of her dominion, a true rarity among the forces of darkness. The court of the DarkVerse were holding their meeting in the kitchen of the Villyn household, and the Queen was having breakfast with all of her generals (including Mohjojiujoovuuduwhodew, although his presence was due to Malaise's insistence). It was a rather crowded room, but the Queen, dressed in a rather simple black dress and duster, didn't mind the informality. All the Minions of Villyn were elsewhere. The Quake Camper was off looking for his fellow Campions of Genbu. Tharzog...? Thurston Dunne...? T... er, The Minion Usually Referred To As T-kun was also searching for his fellow Seals. They were both attempting to recruit the aid of the two factions in order to back-up the Blue-Faced Black Shadow, the Blank Psychic, and the Unnamed Minion, who went ahead to search and rescue their Aki-megamisama from the hands of Shubby-chan's cult. The Self-Proclaimed (and duly licensed) Evil Overlord Nemesis Serendipidy Villyn himself was in the dungeon (basement), currently hatching yet another diabolical scheme (for his standards, anyway) to defeat his hated enemies the Do-Gooders, rescue his dear daughter Aki-chan, and take over the world in one fell swoop, leaving his beloved Charity-chan free rein in the expansive house. Villyn's current plot involved using the orbital moonbeam collecting/projector platforms, capturing and exorcising alien Gods with an interdimensional transporter and vaccum machine, and upgrading his patent-pending Swiss Army TechnoArmor (tm) to include a holo-videoke projector, a coffee bean railgun and cappuccino maker, plus optional flight capabilities, although not precisely in that order. Villyn's earlier failure in banishing the evil alien force that was possessing Aki's friend Kireiko only inspired him to try harder, and now Aki's abduction only spurred him on to a nearly frantic pace. It was all that Queen Charity could do to convince him not to go out and look for his daughter -- and tear up the city in the process. "If you don't mind me asking, my Queen," a bored Sohkoh asked, idly spinning his yo-yo several times. "Why the sudden mobilization of our youma armies?" "A little explanation is in order," Queen Charity replied. "Dear Aki has been abducted. This can be no other than a sign that those human cults are nearing their objectives in awakening their respective gods, and thus destroying the world. Since we also have our own interests on this world, we cannot allow this to happen." "Isn't Miss Villyn the reincarnation of Princess Annikki?" Malaise asked. "The Light of the World," a remarkably sober Lessente commented. "I wonder what the Baron will do now...?" He added silently. "'Yo," Ayesse turned to Lessente. "What was that?" "Nothing," Lessente quickly replied. Sohkoh quirked an eyebrow. Queen Charity did not seem to notice the short exchange between her generals. She slowly took a dainty sip from her cup of jasmine tea before continuing. "Considering the massive scale of our potential opposition, that Malaise's earlier report projected that Vuudu predicts the next conflict will break out, I decide to play it safe and have you all start bolstering up my forces of darkness for the upcoming battles, instead of simply gathering the youma armies and ordering them to charge blindly." "But didn't Vuudu actually say 'An unhappy Tiger; The Octopus straddles The Goat; The sleeping Messiah awakes at Midnight'?" Lessente quoted. "That's what the cards say," Vuudu explained. Sohkoh frowned. "Astrologer, have you been using my Mythos deck again?" "..." Was said Astrologer and General's witty reply. "But what if there won't be anything for our youma armies to fight? The Do-Gooders might intervene and save the world." Ayesse pointed out. "As usual," Sohkoh sourly added. "All the better if that happens." Queen Charity smiled. Unlike her more recent ones, this was a more disturbingly familiar smile, one that promised purely malicious intentions. "We would then simply order the youma warriors move in and support my darling Nemesis' pursuit of taking over the world like he really wanted to." "So we will attack, like in the old days?" A lesser general ventured. "No, we won't," The Queen replied. "I forbid any hostile maneuvers while on this world unless absolutely necessary." She gestured at the untouched tray of food at one side of the kitchen table. "Of course, if Darling wants to do so... I'll bring up that idea to Dear Nemesis in a little while down in his workshop. I'm pretty sure he will agree that having my youma armies under his command will make the impending conquest of this world a lot easier." "So what are we supposed to do?" Malaise asked. "Aren't our massive forces of darkness presently sufficient enough to the task at hand of rescuing Sailor Joy from the clutches of her abductors?" Sohkoh would have commented on the obvious fawning by the Queen towards this mere human Villyn, but kept his tongue in peace, not wanting to undergo the Eternal Sleep again. He contented himself with doing several fancy moves with his yo-yo. "We need a new plan of our own," Queen Charity declared. "As Malaise had reported, our surplus energies are running low. We now need something to help us regain our upwards momentum of acquiring the energies we needed to strengthen the DarkVerse, which we lost recently..." "No thanks to Esjie," Lessente grumbled. ====== Yoi Maeda sneezed again. "Dammit..." He grumbled again as he frantically wiped it off his spotless business suit with a blindingly white handkerchief. ====== Queen Charity turned to Ayesse. "Remind me to check on where we stored the people I subjected to the Eternal Sleep later." "'Yo," Ayesse gulped as Malaise snickered, while Vuudu kept a neutral expression. "Anyway, with the Barney Initiative gone, and the Teletubbies Initiative pretty much short-lived, I would like the rest of you to create a replacement to gather more energy for the DarkVerse." Sohkoh nearly choked as he dropped his yo-yo. "You wanted us to reinstate the project?" The other Generals were too dumbstruck by the idea to reply and too scared of the Queen to dare speak out. Queen Charity blinked several times. "Why, no... Why do you suggest that?" There was an audible sigh of relief as the generals relaxed. "No reason." Ayesse spoke for everyone. "What I wish is for you all to plan on a REPLACEMENT. After all, reinstating the Barney Initiative would be terribly unoriginal, and would not be as effective as it used to be," Queen Charity clarified. "Um, what does Supreme General Villyn say?" Malaise dared to ask. The Queen blinked at the title, then laughed. Unlike the earlier laugh, this one was the total opposite, all sweetness and light, with spice and niceness and everything diabetic-inducing. "Oh, you all thought HE is now the new Supreme General?" Puzzled looks were given. "..." "Oh, no, he couldn't be saddled with such a totally time-consuming job that requires dedication for running the day-to-day affairs of the DarkVerse. After all, he is very dedicated in the eventual conquest of this world." Queen Charity was thoughtful for a moment, then her eyes brightened as an idea formed. "I know! Let's make this project into a contest." "A contest?" Sohkoh perked up. "Whoever presents to me the most efficient plan on siphoning energy for the DarkVerse will become the next Supreme General. How's that?" There was a long pause. "What, were you expecting Twister?" Queen Charity asked. Murmured agreements finally rose from the assembled generals. "Good. I will be expecting good ideas from you all." Queen Charity nodded as she stood up and gathered Villyn's breakfast on a tray. "Now you all run along like the good generals you all are and keep my kingdom from becoming soft and drab again. With Darling's birthday coming in a few days, we should be getting plenty of action soon." With that, she ended the meeting as she walked off towards the basement, carrying the breakfast tray of her beloved. When she was sure she was out of sight, she slowly took a more slower, seductive gait. After all, she had to do all she could to console dear Nemesis in his time of grief... ====== There was silence at the kitchen table. Then all of the gathered generals shivered together. "That was... scary." Sohkoh commented. "I don't know what's worse," shuddered Vuuduu, "The Queen in her old vicious moods... or now, being overly cheerful and nice." "I can't believe I'm saying this," remarked Malaise, "but I miss The Queen's old nasty self. At least then we knew she was always in her vile hissy fits. Now, we can't even figure out what she'll do next." The other generals agreed, including their subordinate Generals gathered around them. "The Queen may be more evil than before," Ayesse said, heading for the door. "But at least she's happy." "Where are you going, Ayesse?" Sohkoh asked. "Shopping." Ayesse replied, glaring at Malaise. "My supplies of human foodstuffs are getting dangerously low." "Wait up," Lessente said as he stood up. "I want to buy some new drinks for the cabinet..." "Well," Vuuduu yawned in a bishounen manner, "as for me, I'm heading off to bed. Didn't get a wink of sleep last night... or for the past week for that matter." "Wait for me!" An excited Malaise leaped into Vuuduu's surprised arms. "Hey!" *POOF!* As the two generals/lovers disappeared in a burst of multi-sided dice and ticker tape, the other generals could hear Vuuduu's protests. "I wanted some rest! Is that too much to ask?!? Not again..." "Now, that's one bit of information I certainly DON'T want to know about." Sohkoh sweatdropped, turning to the others. "Who's going to..." His words dropped off as he found himself alone, all the other generals having gone back to the DarkVerse in a huff, "...clean up the kitchen? *Sigh.*" Sohkoh spun his yo-yo several times in irritation as he started cleaning up the kitchen. "I wonder what will Villyn's birthday party be like?..." He thought idly, feeling a strange craving for green tea all of a sudden, even after having had breakfast. ====== Baron Stagner von Carrlsson of the Kingdom of Obscurity stared at his tea. "Damn," he muttered. "Another setback." With that idiot bloodsucker Spike running around doing things without his permission, the situation is getting serious. At this rate he won't be able to put his plans into motion... "Excuse me?" A familiar voice spoke. Startled, Baron Stagner spilled the contents of the cup on the table. "Wha... Elric?" The albino swordsman smiled back. "Hello again, Baron. Having some trouble, I see. May we join you?" "Hrmph. Go right ahead." Baron Stagner saw a familiar ghostly apparition hanging on to the albino swordsman's shoulder. "...And who might you be, Miss...?" "Akemi Villyn." Akemi smiled. "Matsuro's dearly departed mother, if I'm not mistaken." Ever the courteous gentleman, Baron Stagner stood and reached out to kiss the back of her upraised hand. "Charming. I am Baron Stagner von Carrlsson, Ruler of the Kingdom of Obscurity." He took a moment to pause dramatically, letting his opera cloak blow in the wind, which is quite impressive since he was still indoors. With his many Obscure powers of Obscure origins, nothing is impossible for him, which includes interacting with ghosts. "I see you are just as pretty in person as you are from afar." Akemi laughed lightly in response. "And I can see that you are quite the flatterer Elric here keeps telling me about." "Please, sit." Baron Stagner gestured towards the unoccupied seats. Elric offered an empty seat beside him for Akemi, who graciously accepted. He then dug into his pockets, retrieving a flannel bag and handing it to Baron Stagner. "Here's your special coffee. A lot of good it did me, I wasn't able to use it that time." Everyone took their seats, the Baron calling for a waiter to hand them menus. "So..." Elric leaned forward. "How's it going with you and that Sailor you've been obsessing about, Baron?" "Ah, yes, the light at the end of my tunnel of suffering, my joy in this tortured existence of sorrow, Sailo..." "Never mind," Eric interrupted. The waiter brought them the menus. As Elric and Akemi pored the list, the Baron idly stirred his bowl of wonton soup. "So..." Baron Stagner began. "How about you, Elric? Why did you drop by here?" Elric shrugged. "We were just passing by... I just thought to look up some past acquaintances before Akemi and I finally depart for the Demons' Quarter Dimension." "Really?" The Baron politely interjected. "How's it like?" So Elric began narrating their adventures in the many dimensions they have visited, Akemi adding her personal commentaries every once in a while. And had the Baron gone back to his scrying instead of engaging in small talk with the new arrivals, he would have seen something of importance. But since he can only view the present, the Baron missed what would have been a pivotal point. ====== And thus, a destiny was fulfilled. ====== Becky was walking down the street with Koji and Zathras in silence. Every once in a while she would glance at Koji, who was looking back at her. When their eyes would meet, they would gasp, blush, and look away as if finding something else interesting around them. Then it would be Koji's turn to glance at Becky, only to see her look back at him. They would both blush, gasp and look away. This went on for several minutes. Zathras merely smiled and nodded as he watched the romance between the two reincarnated lovers in bloom. BA-3 was really unhappy with the situation. Becky couldn't care less with what her Agent personality was thinking, she and her Sailor Rapture personality were both in heaven. She wished that this moment could last forever. But like all things, this moment couldn't last. "Hello, Miss Anderson!" Hiryuu called out. "Hello..." Becky blinked. "Hiryuu?" She almost didn't recognize the Dragon in his new look. Hiryuu smiled back. "Yes, it's me." He does a exaggerated bow. "Do you think Miss Aki would like this?" "Ummm..." Becky thought. "It's nice. Are you going to Aki's place?" Hiryuu nodded, "Yeah. I'm going to ask her out today." He waved the flowers in the air with a flourish. "Like them?" Becky peered at the bouquet. "They're pretty. I'm sure Aki will like them." "Really?" Hiryuu took out a rose from the bouquet, handing it to Becky. "Here, this is for you, in thanks." "Thank you..." Becky replied politely, taking the offered rose. "So, you're going to Aki's too?..." Meanwhile, Koji was watching the exchange going on, his feelings slowly sinking. ====== Aika was not a happy cultist. Recently Aika was delegated to nothing but menial work. After that time where she met her former lover, the others were unwilling to involve her with important tasks for Great Shubby-chan. She may not be too bright or well-learned, but she knew when was being put down. Most of their subordiate cultists shared the sentiment about her. She doesn't really care about what the others think, but some of the more scathing opinions were getting to her. A lackey had just reported activity that were being spotted approaching their headquarters. Finding nothing else to do this early in the morning, Aika decided to got to the lookout point and see for herself. It was then she saw the horde. "o/~ Hello, Hello Cthulhu / Let's have fun to-day; / Singing and dancing / Souls we Consume; / Dismembering our foes / Our enemies be doomed... o/~" The Hello Cthulhu horde sang. In the middle of the horde, Brother Manyard waves his arms in glee. "NOw Is thE TImE tO dEstrOy tHEm ALl!!!" Aika hefted her sidearm, holding it at the ready. "This is going to be sooo... great." She beamed, leading the defenders as they charged into the fray with glee, thanking whatever gods were out there who decided to send this her way, allowing her to vent off some anger. ====== Byakko dropped the last file he was reading. "Dammit!!!" He cursed. With a single motion, he shifted back to human form and dressed in his suit. He quickly took off in a sprint. The door was closed, yet he crashed through the barrier without even flinching. "I will not allow this!" He roared. "What's wrong, sir...?" Karen, back in her desk, called out. Byakko stopped and turned to her. "I'd love to stay and chat, Karen, but I'm in a hurry. I have to be leaving for the Mortal Plane." Karen nodded in understanding, a bit saddened that Byakko won't be staying long. "I take it that you've read the recent entry that involves the Old One." Byakko jaw dropped. "You know?!?" ====== Hiryuu knocked on the door of the Villyn household. The door was opened by Sohkoh, wearing an apron and looking very much irritated as he spun his yo-yo. "Yeah, what?" "Is Aki home?" Becky asked. Sohkoh turned to the four people standing at the doorstep, then shook his head, actually looking a bit sad. "Sorry, but Aki's been kidnapped." "WHAT!?!" Hiryuu, Becky, Koji and Zathras shouted in unison. ====== "Daisy... Daisy... DAISY!" Charles pecked at the slumbering cat. "WAKE UP!!!" Daisy groaned, rubbing her eyes with a paw. "Whuzzup, Charles?" She slurred. "'Gotta hangovvr..." "I don't have time for this..." the canary shook himself with irritation. "We need to get all the Sailors together. Aki's been kidnapped. Daisy instantly sobered up. "WHAT!?!" ====== Hanaki's nerves were frayed by the time the cell opened. She looked up hopefully. "Kireiko?" "the Bride is ready." His Eminence proclaimed as he was carried inside by several human cultists. Hanaki screamed. "damn..." His Eminence grumbled, smoothening out the tuxedo he was wearing as the Best Man. "the Great Cthulhu will not like this..." "...that tux. It's soooooo like, 80's. Don't you have anything more modern?" His Eminence sweatdropped as much as a Deep One could. ====== Unnoticed, in Kireiko's room, his jacket began glowing. The white tiger patch sewed onto the back rippled and twisted, as if blown by a wind. ====== WHAT ARE MATSURO'S NEW POWERS AS GRAND DUKE MIDNIGHT? WHEN WILL KOJI START THROWING DANDELIONS? WILL YUKIKO FINALLY HAVE HER TUXEDO-CLAD KNIGHT? WILL MARIKO HAVE HER KEIKO? OR VICE-VERSA? AND DID THOSE QUESTIONS SOUND REALLY WRONG? WHAT IS CHIANG PLANNING WITH BARON STAGNER? IS AKI REALLY THE ONE ZATHRAS WAS TALKING ABOUT? OR IS IT SOMEONE ELSE WE HAVEN'T BEEN INTRODUCED TO YET? WILL CTHULHU-KIREIKO LIKE HIS NEW SET OF WHEELS? WHO WILL EMERGE VICTORIOUS IN THE ATTACK ON SHUBBY-CHAN'S HQ, BROTHER MANYARD OR AIKA? WILL BECKY REALIZE THE TRAGEDY OF PRINCESS IVRYSSE? WILL CTHULHU SUCCEED IN TOTALLY DOMINATING KIREIKO'S BODY? WHO WILL HANAKI GET MARRIED TO, KIREIKO OR CTHULHU? WHAT WILL BYAKKO DO? DOES WATARU REALLY CARE ABOUT AKI? WILL HIRYUU FINALLY GET ON A DATE WITH AKI? JUST WHAT WAS THE BIG DEAL ABOUT MATSURO'S DREAM SEQUENCE? WAS THIS EPISODE SURREAL ENOUGH? Hey, Mervyn the Wonder Slug, it's your ball. Have the Do-Gooders go save the world already. Author's Skribulous: WTF had I gotten myself into? "This is my first time, so please be gentle..." Yes, I am a fan of the Do-Gooders, and it blatantly shows. Hopefully this episode will do justice to the cast. Sadly, I tend to exposit a lot, and I wasn't able to write in everything I wanted in this installment. But hey, my birthday was exactly Christmas, give me a break, OK? Maybe I should sign up for another round?... Waitaminute... There's no more rounds?!? WAAHH!!! ;_; To quote 2f: Please don't kill me... ^_^;;; The OW!! and GwG (and H!, disturbingly enough) references should be easy to spot, so I'm not saying anything else, except that they're there. The opening paragraphs are actually a self-plugging attempt, as I'm an editor of the upcoming SUKOL (SUgbu KOmik League) special Millennium series. (And no, it's not an attempt to introduce 30+ new characters, so you can breathe now Steve. ;p) Check out http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Ginza/2415/COMP/ for samples of some of the most talented artists here in the Philippines. Note to future writers: I did not have any intentions of re-introducing the characters that were already written out but I brought back in this part. Neither did I intend to introduce and new regulars to the main cast. Consider them footnotes if you will. All in all, a fun exercise. Thanks especially to: Twoflower, for such a kick-ass concept, and putting mine in line; Steve Scougall, Jonatan Streith, Dave Menendez, and Mervyn the Wonder Slug for being so machoistic...er, I mean, for being such wonderful, critical prereaders, thanks, guys! And to the wonderfully nutty folks at the DG mailing list (dgml@onelist.com) for picking away at the horde of ideas I kept suggesting until the episode finally took shape (whatever's left of it, that is). No thanks to certain writers of DG (who shall remain nameless), for putting in so many crazy plot twists that almost made me lose my insanity. Send all mail to dgml@onelist.com. I'm sure they'll enjoy the flames. After all, it gets cold in December. (And yes, I know that you have to subscribe to the list in the first place... ) Enjoy. And have a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Millennium. -Mark Ranel M. Lambo, aka. Signus Megido, aka. MaRaMaLa