-=*=-

The room was a messy affair of tangled clothes, piled up books, and a
solitary cello lying on its side by the corner adjacent the bed.

"It's about time you got up, Shinji, you idiot!"

A form was sitting up among profoundly disturbed blankets, hair an
unkempt jungle of brown tufts, a hand rubbing blearily at shut eyes.

"What is it, Asuka?" the person on the bed yawned, still swiping at his
face clumsily with the back of a hand.

"What the hell does THAT mean!?"  The demand was coming from the very
irate-looking young girl looming over the awakened boy.  Hands on hips,
dressed in a light blue skirt and vest, white blouse and red neck
ribbon, the slender teenager cut a very intimidating silhouette in the
morning glow that lit the room.  Vivid red-orange hair bobbing, the
female lowered herself slightly so that her voice could have its full
effect.

"Can't you *appreciate* the fact that I went to the trouble of coming
to wake you up?  Don't you have any words of gratitude for your oldest
childhood friend!?"

Still rubbing his eyes, the boy on the bed mumbled a thanks.

"Arigatou..."  This seemed to mollify the redhead a bit.

The body on the bed turned lethargically on its side.  "... but let me
sleep a little longer..."  He pulled the blanket over himself and
closed his eyes.

"What are you doing!?" the girl snarled, clenching a hand into a fist.
"It's time for you to get up!"  Not really one for further diplomatic
approaches, Asuka yanked the sheet off of the prone form of one Shinji
Ikari.  She gasped.

The sound of a slap, and then a horrified scream could be heard.

"You stupid pervert!" came the outraged shriek.  "I can't believe
you've got one of *those*!!"

"I can't help it!  It's morning!"

In the meantime, the sounds coming from upstairs did nothing to disturb
the rhythm of dishwashing going on at the kitchen sink.

"Oh, my," said the woman going through the plates one by one.  "Asuka
is so sweet to come pick him up every morning, and Shinji doesn't
appreciate it."

>From the table, a newspaper was opened and standing upright with the
aid of the man whose face was buried in the current events section.

"Hai."

"Dear, you have to get ready, too," Yui said without looking over her
shoulder.

"Hai," came the grunted reply.

Still cleaning dishes, Yui leaned slightly to the right.  "Gosh, you're
just like Shinji..."

Gendou just went on browsing the dailies.  "Are you ready?"

"Yes, anytime," Yui answered a little flippantly, finishing up with her
chore.  "I'm the one who gets complaints from Professor Fuyutsuki if
you're late for the meeting."

"That's true," Gendou murmured, eyes locked onto his reading material.
"He's your biggest fan."

"Oh, you!  Cut that out and get ready."

"Hai," Gendou said again.  "I understand, Yui."

"Hurry up!" Asuka goaded in an irritated voice.

"I know!" Shinji answered, exasperated.  "You can be such a pain in the
ass sometimes, Asuka..."

"What did you say!?"

Moments later found both Shinji and Asuka standing by the main door to
the Ikari household preparing to leave, the latter slipping into her
shoes, and the former sporting a red imprint on his face suspiciously
shaped like a hand.

"We're leaving now!" Asuka called out to the interior, pushing Shinji
along.  "Irasshaimase!"

"Irasshaimase," Shinji echoed, though somewhat less enthusiastically.

"See you later, sweetie!" Yui called after the leaving students.  And
then to her husband, "Come on, dear!  Put that newspaper down!"

"Hai.  I understand, Yui."

                                  -=*=-

                    IT CAN'T GET ANY WEIRDER THAN THIS.

                       SHINJI'S ALTERNATE UNIVERSES
                       ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ
                         .. it's like every other 
                         Neon Genesis Evangelion
                         fanfic series out there.  
                         Except better.  And much
                         cuter. And much crazier.

                 Farsan de Arnibia will forever be solely
              responsible for beginning this chunk of crock

               Mads may be convicted of being an accomplice

                     Chapter Seven: Shinji's Alternate
                     ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ
                                  -=*=-

"Hey, isn't there a new student starting today?"

The landscape flew by at a lazy speed.  Store signs blurred, ads were
passed unnoticed, random domiciles ignored in favor of empty stretches
of street.

"Yeah, that's right!" Asuka affirmed as she ran, reddish tresses flying
behind her.  "Since this city's going to become the new capital, there
are a lot of people moving in.  It's no wonder we're getting so many
new kids."

"Oh, that makes sense," Shinji decided, smiling a little to himself as
he kept pace with the half-German girl beside him.  "I wonder what
she's like?..."

He grinned distractedly as he ran.  "I hope she's cute!" he went on,
not noticing how Asuka's eyes had narrowed, and how her brow had
creased a little at the line of discussion.

                                  -=*=-

"Oh, I'm late!  I'm LATE!"

It was rather interesting how this was said.  It shouldn't have been
possible, what with a large piece of toast dangling and flapping from
the blue-haired girl's mouth, but it was said, and in synch with a
decent running velocity as well.

Blue skirt, yellow sleeveless sweater, white blouse, red tie, bookbag.

30kph.

"I can't be late for the first day!" the girl moaned to herself with
dismay in between chewing her slightly airborne breakfast.  Caught in
her multitasking, she completely failed to respond smartly to the thing
that suddenly shot from past the nearby bend, into view and into her
direct path.

As it was, she just yelled before crashing into it headfirst.

COLLISION!

Toast tumbled and birds scattered from the top of a nearby electricity
pole as skulls met in a rather painful expression of impact physics.

Shinji groaned, down on his knees and a hand on the concrete, the other
hand clutching at his aching forehead.  Directly in front of him, the
blue-haired girl was on her bottom, leaning on one hand, feet slightly
apart.  She held her head, eyes squinted shut with sharp pain.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow..."

The girl's eyes opened suddenly as she realized that the boy she had
crashed into was still there.  She hurriedly pressed her legs together
and smoothed her skirt down with both hands, covering herself, face
reddening slightly in embarrassment.

Shinji was looking up at her, eyes wide.

The blue-haired girl quickly got up and gave a small laugh before
spinning to take off again.  "I'm sorry!  I'm in a hurry!"

Shinji blinked.

"I'm really very sorry!" the strange girl yelled again, looking over
her shoulder and waving back at Shinji before disappearing down the
rise of the small hill they were on.

Shinji blinked.

Behind him, unnoticed, Asuka looked down at her childhood friend, face
a displeased scowl, vein on forehead throbbing.

                                  -=*=-

"WHAT!?" went the incredulous roar.

And then in a quieter voice, "Did you see her panties?"

The pre-first period classroom was alive with the buzzing of talking
youngsters and random horseplay.  The trio by the windows included one
Shinji Ikari, who was currently looking a little meditative in mild
recollection.

"Well, it wasn't really a good look," Shinji told the solid-looking boy
with the dark hair and dressed in the dark jacket and pants.  Nearby, a
frailer male with circular glasses was listening with half an ear.
Shinji's eyes half-lidded, and he made a small pantomime with his index
finger and thumb, holding them slightly apart to indicate smallness of
scale, a mischievous smile on his lips.  "Just a little flash."

The larger high school boy, an Okinawan by the name of Suzuhara Touji,
made a noise of disbelief and smacked himself on the face with a hand.
"I can't *believe* you're the one who has all the luck!" he complained.
The bout of gripes was interrupted by an insistent tugging at his ear.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

Shinji and the boy in glasses, Kensuke Aida, merely looked on as a
smallish girl in brown pigtails and freckles pulled a wincing Touji to
the side.

"Why'd you do that for, Class Rep?" Touji yowled, trying to keep his
balance.

Hikari, the Class Representative, a hand on her hip, glowered at the
captive teenager.  "Suzuhara-kun!  Just *exactly* what were you talking
about?" she asked angrily.  She didn't wait for a response.  "Go change
the water in the flower vase right now!  You understand?"

Touji made a face.  "You're so mean."

"WHAT did you just say!?"

Shinji sighed in a world-weary manner as he watched the proceedings.
"Poor Touji's so hen-pecked.  It's sad, isn't it?"

Asuka, sitting behind him, was staring with a half bored, half mad
expression on her elfin features, a cheek resting on the heel of her
hand, an elbow on her desk.  "Look who's talking."

Kensuke didn't appear interested in the least as tense drama unfolded
on either side of him.

"Are you saying I'm easily manipulated?" Shinji demanded.

"I'm merely reporting the facts," Asuka monotoned.

Kensuke leaned back on his seat, expelling a deep breath, glasses shiny
with reflected light.

"How so?" Shinji asked indignantly.

"It just is," Asuka shot back.  "Accept it."

"Why do you treat me like this!?"

"The calm... the peace and tranquility," Kensuke mused to himself.

"Hey, that hurts, you idiot!" Asuka was yelling from his left.

Behind Kensuke, outside the window, anyone looking would have seen a
bright red convertible swerve into perfect position on one of the
rectangular staff parking spaces beside the school building.

Almost as if on conditioned reflex, Touji and Shinji had rushed to the
window and were crowding each other for the better view, grins of
anticipation on their faces.  Beside them, Kensuke had plucked a small
digicam from somewhere and was taping the events below.

"It's Miss Misato, our teacher!" Touji said hungrily as the car door
opened and a shapely leg swung out to plant a white high-heeled shoe on
the cement.  The appendage was followed by the rest of the just-as-
attractive body clad in a short skirt, loose white blouse, and a khaki
blazer.  Sunglasses were removed with a flashy flip of the head to
reveal a breathtakingly pretty face with lively, intelligent eyes, and
crowned with silky purplish black hair.

"Miss Misato's so gorgeous!" Touji appraised, ogling along with the
rest of the retinue looking out of the windows on that particular side
of the building.

The strolling teacher looked up from her walking and saw the camera.
She grinned up at it and flashed the crew with a peace sign with two
fingers.

All three at the window returned both smile and peace sign.

Asuka, still resting her head on a hand, looked on disgustedly.  Hikari
was close by, hugging a book, but glaring in the general direction of
the three boys as well.  "Just look at those three stooges!" they said
to themselves in unison.  "Have they no shame?"

Soon, the chimes sounded across the corridors of the school, signaling
the start of the schoolday.

The Class Rep's loud voice rang out from the classroom marked '2-A' on
the jutting wooden sign above its door.  "Stand up!  Bow!"  There were
the noises of compliance.  "Sit down!"

Misato-senseii looked decidedly animated as she stood to the front of
the class, beaming widely.  "Listen up, dudes!" she declared.  "We've
got a new blue-haired babe here to introduce herself!!"  She moved
aside to reveal behind her a smiling young girl in the school's uniform
light blue skirt, white blouse and a sleeveless yellow sweater.

"My name is Ayanami Rei!" the blue-haired girl said cheerfully.  "Nice
to meet you!"

Shinji's mouth dropped.  "HWUH!?"

Rei spotted the boy and took a sharp intake of breath.  "You're the
jerk who was staring at my panties!" she accused.

At this, Asuka stood up from some way behind the class, hands at hips
and looking challenging.  "Hey, what do you mean by that!?" she asked
hotly.  "YOU were the one who was flashing them at Shinji!"

Rei deadpanned as the rest of the class observed with interest.  "Who
are you and why are you defending him?  Are you guys doing it?"

Asuka pulled back, chagrined and blushing furiously.  "NO!  We're just
really good childhood friends!  You shut up!!!"

Hikari rose from her seat as well.  "Be quiet, you two!" she ordered.
"We're in a *class*, not a bar!"

Misato, strangely enough, was looking relaxed to the front of the
class, seated with her feet up and arms folded.  "Hey, this is more
entertaining than class!" she said, winking.  "I want to see how this
turns out.  Please continue!"

The class pealed with laughter.

                                  -=*=-

"I'm going to go get your lunch, Shinji," Asuka informed the boy with
a stern voice.  "Don't *move* from THAT spot!  Understood?"

"Hai," Shinji said resignedly, smiling in a tired way.  "I understand,
Asuka..."

Things had calmed down some since the small encounter during first
period, and a few changes had taken effect, whether welcome or not,
Shinji couldn't decide.  With the appearance of the new girl, Rei, a
kind of heated rivalry had seemed to sprout between her and Asuka, a
fact that Misato-senseii hadn't failed to pick up on.

Which, of course, prompted the smirking teacher to assign Ikari Shinji
to act as Ayanami Rei's guide on campus for the next few days, much to
Soryuu Asuka Langley's ire.

Shinji sighed.  At the moment, Asuka was acting fiercely protective,
even for an old childhood friend, a development which both gratified
and terrified him.  He did not yet know to what severe lengths
Asuka-chan could go to express her affections.

At the moment, she was doing it in a relatively harmless way at least.
Though Shinji was still curious as to how the girl could have managed
to come up with an obentou packed lunch for him in the short, busy time
between first period and the lunch hour, he was thankful for the break
from the unremarkable cafeteria fare.

My, that was fast.  Asuka was approaching with two specimens of the
typical wooden boxes that were used to hold pre-packed repasts of rice,
fish and egg, among other things.  One of them was already notably
open, and Asuka was chewing on something as she drew close and sat down
beside the young boy on the bench.

They were alone on the grassy knoll just behind the school premises.

"You started without me," Shinji protested casually, eagerly reaching
for what he assumed was his share.

"I got hungry, baka," Asuka sniffed, handing Shinji the closed box and
then picking a fried shrimp from her own pack to pop it in her mouth.

There was no conversation for a few minutes as both hungry students
began to dig into their meal with a little liberal eagerness.  Slaking
their immediate stomach pangs, the two slowed their pace a little,
enough to resume polite talk.

"I didn't know you liked pickled fish, Shinji-baka," Asuka said,
looking up from her boxed lunch.

"Yeah, right, Asuka," Shinji scoffed good-naturedly through a half-full
mouth.  He swallowed.  "You've known me for this long.  And besides,
*you* packed this obentou, didn't you?"

"No, I didn't," Asuka said, taking another chomp of shrimp.

Shinji paused in his eating.  "Well, you at least *picked* this for me,
didn't you?" Shinji asked, brow knitting slightly with confusion.  "You
told me earlier that you'd get me lunch, right?"

"No, I didn't," Asuka repeated in the same bored voice.  She leaned
over and snatched at a rice ball with her chopsticks.  "Can I have this?
Thanks."

Shinji facetwitched.  "Come on, Asuka," he said, laughing a little
halfheartedly.  "Stop joking around.  We're old childhood friends,
aren't we?"

"Old childhood friends?" Asuka asked with sincerity, blinking and
looking into Shinji's eyes.

All other motion halted as the two just staaaaared each other for a
moment.

Shinji shifted backwards on his seat, a finger pointed at Asuka, face
contorted with mingled shock and realization.

"ASUKA!" he shouted, though he was referring no longer to the girl he'd
been talking to but a few hours ago, but to another Asuka, one who
shared the dubious miracle of Complementation with him.  "What are YOU
doing here!?  WHEN did you get here!?"

"Hee," Asuka grinned evilly, stealing another one of Shinji's rolls.
She tilted to the side in a casual manner.  "Oh, calm down, Shinji-
baka.  I was just bored, so I came along to see what YOU were doing.
My body was already carrying these-"  She indicated the lunches.
"-when I slipped in character.  Nice place you've got here.  What's it
based on?"

Shinji snarled a little, completely off-character now.  "It's a
recreation of a Complementation dream I had," he said.  "And did I
mention that it's a *private* session?"  He finished his meal with a
few overemphasized bites and chews, and then slammed the lid down on
his obentou.  The effect was somewhat marred by the flimsy object's
almost falling apart at the abuse.

"Hey, don't get your power cable in a tangle," Asuka quipped, closing
her own lunch.  "I'll just take a short look around, and if I don't
like it, I can leave.  Fair enough?"

Shinji made a face.  "Well, I suppose.  This place really isn't your
type anyway-- everything's pretty normal.  No Angels, no Evas, no NERV,
no nothing.  An alternate reality where everything is as it SHOULD be."

"Dullsville, in other words?" Asuka asked, holding both hands behind
her head as she walked down the hill with Shinji.

"Yes, quite," Shinji deadpanned.  "*Now* will you go?  Can't I have
some time to *myself*?"

"In Complementation?" Asuka giggled.  "Not likely.  Although, I have to
say..."  She stopped walking and just let the wind pass her.  She
breathed deep of the clean air and exhaled.  "... I would never have
expected this."

"Expected what?" Shinji asked guardedly.

Asuka's eyes softened.  "All this normalcy is what you really prefer...
when you want to be a little less uninhibited... a little more free."

"Hunh?"

                                  -=*=-

"I've never seen you like this, Shinji-baka.  You were laughing.  You
were openly lecherous.  You were all buddy-buddy with Aida and
Suzuhara.  You talked back.  You actually looked *happy*."

Shinji looked up.  "Did I?"

The afternoon sessions had been uneventful, quite against Shinji's
worst expectations.  Complementation Asuka played the part of Old
Childhood Friend Asuka down to the most recent quirk of an unstated
competition with Ayanami, and what Asuka didn't know of her role, she
either guessed well enough, or ad libbed more than convincingly enough.
She *was* a genius, after all.

After classes, they were walking home together, which was usual for the
duo, even before Complementation Asuka's arrival.

"Did you what?"

"Did I really?" Shinji asked.  "Look happy, I mean."

"Well, chyeah," Asuka shrugged, swinging her bookbag around absently.
"Living with less pressure will do that to you, I guess."

"Now, I don't--"

"Oh, come OFF it, Shinji," Asuka scolded, whirling to face the boy
down, hands on hips.  "The only reason you can act like that is because
you know you're alone in here-- nobody is real.  Nothing is at stake,
and for once, you can finally just *be yourself*."

Shinji said nothing.  He avoided Asuka's glare guiltily.

The female teen shrugged.  "That's coo'."

Shinji turned.  "What?"

Asuka looked at him with a small smile.  "I think it's good.  You're
learning to live with a side of you you've always been afraid to show
others."

She sneered and leaned over, jabbing a finger at Shinji's chest.

"And personally," she began to add, "from what I've seen in the LCL, I
kinda like the new, hidden Shinji better than the little dork-face you
show everyone when you're outside."

Shinji reddened.  "Asuka!"

The Soryuu laughed wickedly and spun away from the young man, twirling
a bit.  She winked over her shoulder.  "Catch me if you can!"

At that, she took off down the street, legs pumping, skirt flaring.

Shinji stared.  He shook his head, a smile on his lips.  "Crazy girl."

He took off after her.

                                  -=*=-

"Observe, Shinji," Asuka said in a low voice, gesturing towards the
group loitering at the mouth of the alley.  "The brutish postures, the
uncivilized laughter and blatant disregard for general hygiene.  A fine
cluster of fodder, if I ever saw one."

"I don't know if I can do this, Asuka," Shinji said unsurely.

Asuka looked at Shinji with some disdain.  "Look, I've played your game
perfectly, right?  Now the *least* you can do is to help me help YOU.
This next lesson'll be a blast, I promise."  She jerked her thumb
towards where the rowdies were stirring, having spotted them.  "Besides,
these guys aren't real, are they?  Just temporal subdimension props,
right?"

She grinned.  "Look at it this way-- they've almost surely made life
uncomfortable for a number of people in the past, right?  Think of this
as a little justice served... and maybe later, we can turn them in or
something, what do you think?"

"Well, it's STILL gonna hurt if they hit us," Shinji pointed out 
glumly.

"THERE you go again, sounding like a jellyfish," Asuka snapped, bopping
Shinji upside the head.  "Well, we're going to fix that soon enough.
Just remember-- they won't be able to hit you if you hit them HARD
enough first."

"Makes sense... I think."

The first few of the bunch of generic thugs arrived in short order,
sneering and cackling with contempt.

"Hey there, kiddies," one of them greeted.  "Youze guys have been
lookin' at us funny an' pointin' at us for a while now."  This part was
actually true enough.  "You lookin' to rile us up or somethin'?"

Asuka grinned ferally, making the speaker take a step back.  The half-
German blackbelt in several unarmed martial arts cracked her knuckles.

"Actually..." she began.  "Yes, we ARE."

It was a good thing the goon to the right swung his bike chain first.
That would make Asuka's roundhouse kick to his chin self-defense later,
in case the cops caught up to them.

Shinji turned alertly at a sound, and sure enough, a couple of the
brutes were going for the weaker-looking one of the pair.

He sighed again... and then smiled.  "Here goes nothing..."

He ducked under an overbalanced right hook, and prepared to engage
himself fully in Asuka's little lesson.

                                  -=*=-

Asuka's fist plowed into delicate facial tissue, bruising flesh and
breaking nasal cartilage.  The battered target fell on his knees and
then facedown on the dirt, unconscious.

Asuka grinned as she dispatched another hoodlum.  Things were going
well.  She'd only had to help Shinji out of tight pinches twice, and
he really hadn't needed her assistance for the last few minutes.

To be sure, Asuka had taken care of most of the gang, but Shinji had
done rather well with no real combat training of his own against two
men each roughly larger than he was.  The first of these had taken off
with a broken jaw-- who knew Shinji had a mean right jab?  The second
was...

Shinji?

"GEAAGH!  KEEYAAH!"

"Shinji-kun!?" Asuka called out, near panic.  What had happened?  Where
was her pupil?  "SHINJI!?"

She jumped her way over the prone forms of her previous opponents,
searching frantically among the debris of the alley for any sign of
where the noises of battle were coming from.  Why hadn't she noticed
earlier that this place had so many goddamn corridors and crevices?

"Shinji!?"

Just then, a very familiar blue-haired image walked into view at the
mouth of the back street Asuka was crossing.

"YOU!" Asuka yelled despite herself, a little jarred from the rather
unexpected visitor.

"Soryuu-san?" Rei blinked, looking both surprised and puzzled.  "What
are you doing in that alley?"  She paused to take in the scene-- Asuka
was panting, clothes in slight disarray.  Behind the redhead, just
barely visible beyond asymmetrical, jutting corners were the KO'ed
remains of a small brotherhood of punks.

A mischievous twinkle appeared in Rei's eyes, and Asuka almost reeled a
little with disorientation.  Even after an afternoon with this make-
believe Rei, it was still unnerving to see Wonder Girl manifest emotion
of any kind.

Rei grinned evilly.  "Are you in trouble or something, Soryuu-saaan?"

Asuka facetwitched.  "T-that's none of your business!" she snapped
before passing the sniggering Ayanami towards one of the other open
alleyways.  "What are YOU doing HERE?"

"This was on my way home," Rei sniffed, though she was still smiling a
little with amusement.  She shuffled her way to the searching Asuka,
tailing her impishly.  "Whatcha doin'?"

"Like I said, that's none of your business," Asuka answered, favoring
Rei with a frown before returning to what she was doing.  "Don't you
have to go home or something?"

"I heard you yelling Ikari-kun's name a while ago.  Why are you looking
for him?  Did you get HIM in trouble, too?"

Asuka had had just about enough.  She whirled to confront the other
girl, fists bunched, teeth clenched.

"LOOK!  I'm really not in the mood for this right now, okay!?  So why
don't you just disappear before I try to see how far I can shove my arm
down your throat?"

Rei was unimpressed.  She cocked her head to the side.

"You sure are cute when mad, Soryuu-san."

"NAAAAAANIIIIII!!?"

A pained cry from nearby cut off anything else that might have followed
the observation.

"Was that Ikari-kun?" Rei asked, suddenly frightened.

Asuka cursed without answering and dashed in the sound's direction.
Rei looked about the alley uncertainly for a few moments before
swallowing and then following her new classmate into the unknown.

                                  -=*=-

"What's happening to Ikari-kun!?"

"SHINJI!" Asuka screamed in horror at the sight that greeted her.

The boy's immaculate white shirt was covered in blood, his hair
slightly disheveled, but mostly in place.  There was a small tear on
his school slacks, but there appeared to be no wound underneath.  He
was astraddle his second opponent's chest, putting his full weight on
the torso to keep him from getting up.

Asuka didn't know what for-- the fighter didn't appear to be breathing.
A knife lay uselessly in the downed man's curled fingers.

"Ikari-kun!" Rei called out.

"SHINJI!  What are you doing!?"

But it was plain to see-- Shinji was pummeling the downed fighter with
all his might, raining blow after merciless blow on a head limply
swinging from side to side with every impact.  The blood on Shinji's
clothes were not his.

Perhaps most frightening of all was the manic grin on the young man's
blood-speckled face.

Asuka swallowed a lump in her throat.  Subdimensional prop or no, what
Shinji was doing was wrong. 

"What are you doing!?" Rei demanded of the stunned Asuka.  "We have to
stop him!  Come on--"  She grabbed Asuka by the wrist and both found
themselves rushing to Shinji's back.

They dashed behind him and grabbed at his shirt desperately.  The young
man was stronger than they'd ever have suspected.

"Shinji!  Stop!  You're going to kill him!" Asuka yelled out hoarsely,
wit and eloquence forgotten in the face of urgency.  "That's enough!
STOP!!!"

They pulled with all their might...

... and a purple light flashed, making Asuka close her eyes hard.  She
felt Shinji's body yield, though, and inertia hurled her backwards and
upright, taking the body she held in her arms with her.  Good.  They
had pried him off.

Then WHY could she still hear the sounds of beating?

She opened her eyes and looked down to see that she and Rei were still
definitely holding a body up.

"S-Shinji-kun?" she stuttered.

She was holding Shinji by the shoulders.  He felt a little limp and
heavy, but was otherwise unharmed.  He looked about dazedly and then at
the girl holding him from behind.

"Asuka?" he croaked weakly.  He turned slightly to look at the other
girl.  "Rei?"   His eyes fell shut slowly, and then he was asleep in
their arms...

... and yet he was still kneeling over the downed fighter on the dirt.

Asuka frowned as the figure in the bloody white clothes stood up from
over the motionless body it had battered.

"You're not Shinji," Asuka growled, while beside her, Rei simply stared,
speechless.  "Who are you?"

"Oh, you know ME," said the other Shinji amusedly, getting up and
dusting himself off.  Blood clung to his stained knuckles, but he didn't
seem to mind.  His grinning teeth looked strikingly white against the
gloom of the alley.  "I think you know ME very well..."

                                  -=*=-

"You're not Shinji," Asuka repeated.  She'd cradled Shinji's unmoving
body to her gently, the gesture contrasting starkly with the venomous
manner she was staring at the other Shinji, the one who was standing
with hands in his pockets, and looking back at her in an infuriatingly
cocky way.  "Who ARE you?"

"Who am I!?" the other Shinji echoed in a hurt voice, placing a blood-
reddened hand on his chest in mock grief.  He grinned.  "Who do you
think pulverized the Angel when... what was it that you called him?
*Dork-face* over here got knocked out?  Who do you think tore through
the Spatial Distortion Angel with zero seconds left in the Evangelion
life support buffer?"

"Soryuu-san," Rei started uncomfortably, drawing closer to Asuka and
the unconscious Shinji instinctively.  "What is he talking abou-"

"Sh," Asuka warned, not taking her eyes off the other Shinji.  She
glared at the boy.  "You *can't* be an Eva," she told him, clutching at
Shinji's body harder in consternation.  "All the Evas were--"

"Destroyed in Complementation?" the other Shinji finished for her.  "I
know that, and, no, I am NOT an Eva.  Although Evas HAVE been a kinda
nice way for me to vent once in a while..."

"You..."

"Who do you THINK *mangled* the Angel both you and Ayanami couldn't
beat?" the other Shinji went on casually, starting to slowly make his
way to Asuka.  "WHO do you think finished the job when the batteries
ran out, and he had to depend on 300% synchronization rate with
Unit-01?"

Dark Shadows of Evil Speech coalesced about the other Shinji, and his
face split apart in a devilish grin.

"I'm who Shinji has been hiding all this time," he drawled, drawing
ever and ever closer to where Asuka and Rei had broken out in a cold
sweat.  "I'm the embodiment of every feeling he has ever had and wanted
to hide, every base desire and vicious whim."

He smiled warmly.  "This little stunt freed me, dear Asuka," he told
the staring girls.

"Because, you see... I am Shinji's Id."

A dramatic pause permeated the next few minutes.  Not even the sounds
of the traffic of the adjacent avenue dared invade the crucial moment.

Rei put a finger on her lip.  "Shinji's twin?"

"Shinji's imp?" Asuka squinted, scratching her head.

Id Shinji facetwitched.  "Id.  ID!" he said intensely, gesticulating
wildly.  "GOD.  Don't either of you read Freud?"

                                  -=*=-

Author's Happy Fun Notes of DOOM:

The first few scenes are, of course, derived from that little dream
sequence in the latter half of episode 26 of the actual NGE series.
It's probably the only thing worth remembering about the entire finale.
:)

Woah.  This impro has gone from chibi-ish to semi dark angsty in, like,
two parts, and I'm not even sure it's a BAD thing. ^__^

Anyway, in explanation of this little turn of events I've engineered, I
have to say that inspiration struck me when I thought of the inherent
similarities Shinji has with Fei, hero of Xenogears.  I mean, look--
they're both real wimps when they start out, both get a few scenes of
gratuitous beatdown to justify their general sissyhood... but only one
(Fei, duh =p) actually has a side of him actually physically separated
from him that constitutes his hate and loathing and whatnot (Id).  So,
I thought-- why not give *Shinji* an Id side?  *He's* sure got his
share of repressions, and given the general unpredictability of
Complementation, would it not be too far-fetched an idea that the
proper set of stimuli would finally knock his Id into an existence of
its own?

Okay, OKAY-- it DOES sound like the lamezorz now that I review it in
full, but what can I do?  Cham's already given me leeway so as not to
be skipped, and this was the best I could come up with.  What, you want
Ah!suka, My Goddess, or something? =p

Oh, and, THANKS, Chammerz.  He's the bizomb, did I tell you guys? ^_^

Anyhooz, damage control...

Id Shinji is meant to be a temporary thing from the beginning, but I
believe he will do excellently as an antagonist until he is re-
integrated into Shinji, don't you think? :3  Future authors would do
well to make him hop alternate realities with the Eva bunch giving
chase all the way, across exotic worlds of destruction and debauchery a
liberated Freudian concept might want to visit. :3

Shinji without his Id is... well... Shinji with even LESS backbone, I
suppose if you can imagine THAT. =p  But then again, what's left would
be his Ego and SuperEgo, so, I suppose he'd just be a little more...
uh... moral? ^_^;;;

But then again, who says Shinji HAS to be without his Id?  Maybe it was
just... duplicated, or something.  I dunno.  This is impro.  Anything
can happen. >.>

Please forgive me if this part was somewhat less with the funny than
my regular fare.  It just seemed inappropriate to follow Nick's part
with a silly-fest.  I wanted to BUILD on the story, even if it meant
sacrificing a little levity in the process.  But THAT doesn't mean that
the following authors have to do the same-- Id Shinji can be loony
about his viciousness and lust, too. :3

Hint: Gendou and the others don't have to know that the Shinji walking
around is actually his Id. ^_-  How does repeatedly botched attempts at
Gendou's life sound? XD

Also, lookie here!  A rarity!  A chibi with an actual PLOT!? XD

Besides, anyone can see how massive Couple Points would go to Asuka for
trying to restore Shinji and his Id. :3

To my workshoppers, thank you.  Thank them, too, readers-- it was they
who talked me into slipping Rei into the otherwise completely dark and
disturbing scenes between Asuka and Id Shinji. :)

FARSAN: Excellent, excellent points-- adjusted accordingly... sort of.
        I couldn't afford an all-out reformat, but you'll probably find
        a recent omission that'll fix one of your niggles. :)  Also,
        when Id Shinji speaks of 'his desires', and not 'theirs', it
        emphasizes his independence and autonimity.  Or something. =p

OH!  And Farsan mentioned something about Id Shinji maybe going to go
recruit Id Rei in his quest.  Future authors?  Any ideas? ;)

'til next time, friends!  Godspeed!  BWAHAHAHAAAA--

-MtB, 03/15/03

                                  -=*=-

Id Shinji *looked* like Shinji, except... well, cooler, I suppose.  He
didn't slouch, and his grin was constant, as if to remind everyone that
his canines were sharp.

"Do you remember the first time we slept under the same roof together?
You don't KNOW what kind of things were going through my head that
night..."

"So you guys ARE doing it!" Rei exclaimed.

Id Shinji sweatdropped, and Asuka looked at her annoyedly.

"YOU," she said to Rei.  "Shut up."  She turned to Id Shinji.  "And
YOU-- get away from me," Asuka hissed, backing off, with Shinji still
in tow.  She looked about frantically for a means of escape.  None
could be found.

"He likes you a LOT, Asuka-chan," Id Shinji said softly, still slowly
advancing, gait and stride a far cry from Shinji's.  He laughed when he
saw Asuka blush.  "Oh, he has his thoughts about Rei-chan, and Misato-
chan, and Ritsuko-chan, and even Maya-chan and maybe even Hikari-chan
as well... but none of them quite as often as you, Asuka..."

"Eeeewww," Rei opined, still keeping close to Asuka.  She turned to the
half-German with sympathetic eyes.  "Kinda looks to me like he wants to
be a little more than just friends..."

"SHUT UP!!"

"Ooooh, the fun I will have with you two," Id Shinji chuckled, inching
ever and ever closer to the cowering duo.  Suddenly, he ducked down,
knees folded... and then launched himself at the startled girls, animal
hunger in his eyes.

"KYAAAH!" he slavered.

"AAAIEEEEK!" Rei screeched, being the one in direct line of attack.
She let go of Asuka and the real Shinji to raise her hands as if to
ward Id Shinji off.

Asuka, having expected herself to be the target, was caught off guard.

"REI!"

Id Shinji was upon the teenager...

... and then was off her as Ayanami, screaming in fright, had grabbed
at the boy's outstretched arms, lifted him overhead, spun him around
several times, and then had hurled him in a parabolic arc, the Shinji
facsimile yowling in surprise all the way.  He crashed into a pile of
cardboard boxes, knocking them in disarray.

Rei opened her eyes, and both she and Asuka sweatdropped.  So... Id
Shinji would basically be the same incompetent, motor-challenged, inept
Shinji, except a little meaner and much hornier...

Id Shinji jumped to his feet, hands nonchalantly on his hips as if
nothing had happened.  A string of lettuce hung from one arm, and a
small piece of wet cardboard was stuck on his hair.

"I'd indulge myself, but unfortunately, I have more urgent things to
attend to," he declared grandly, pivoting on his heel and then running
out of the alley.  "I've boiled and stewed with hate and malice and
loneliness for longer than I can remember.  And now I can strike out at
the source."

He smirked.

"I am going to kill my father, IKARI GENDOU.  BWAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA--"

He vanished beyond a corner, still laughing.

Asuka gaped with disbelief.  Rei's brow furrowed with bewilderment.
She turned to smile hesitantly at Asuka.

"Well... umm... if it's all the same to you," she said, smile twitching
the slightest bit, "I'd rather keep the Shinji you're holding now.  You
can have the other one.  Deal?"

Asuka groaned.

                                  -=*=-